Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Bark louder, little dog.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Reality always gets a vote in the end.

Be a wild strawberry.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

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Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    Michael D.

    John: Your template is messed up. It’s gone back to the basics – at least for me. No pics, no nothing. Just text and a bit of blue packaging.

  3. 3.

    robertdsc

    At least it’s a Super Mario jersey instead of a Crosby. I’d call Animal Control if it were a Crosby.

  5. 5.

    slag

    Your sports fanaticism has now resulted in cruelty to animals. You should definitely consider going to timeout.

  6. 6.

    El Tiburon

    At least that dog isn’t being forced to wear a Tittsburgh Steelers football jersey.

    That would like totally suck big hairy balls.

  7. 7.

    jl

    But that dog looks very happy in that very hearty happy-dog way. Do you really know whether Lucie, as opposed to foolish owner, is also a Red Wings fan? Secret Penguin fan perhaps? Briefly released from imposed Wed Rings fan owner’s oppression?

  8. 8.

    NutellaonToast

    I think it’s more like the dog has taken a respite from cruelty, and is not being subject to it in this picture. Hooray for John saving another dog.

  9. 9.

    Xanthippas

    Anybody willing to wager on the Cowboys’ chances at the Super Bowl this year? I have two young children I’m willing to throw under the bus.

  11. 11.

    Zuzu's Petals

    So, weren’t there supposed to be some more massive teabag parties over the last couple days?

    And massive protests outside Letterman’s studio?

    Just curious…anybody know how all that’s workin’ out?

  12. 12.

    Comrade Stuck

    Aussie Sheppards are smarter than to get mixed up in sports betting, especially (cough cough) hockey. Lucie’s a secret Brown’s fan though. I can see it in her eyes.

  13. 13.

    Adrienne

    Lucie’s a secret Brown’s fan though. I can see it in her eyes.

    Soooooo, you’re saying she looks depressed? That’s not nice.

  14. 14.

    Charity

    Speaking of the template, is there some trick to accessing the mobile version of the site via iPhone that I don’t know? Sometimes it shows up mobile style, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s mobile style till I go to read the comments. Thank you!

  15. 15.

    Tax Analyst

    Hey, John! I’ve been away several (or more) days and just realized your Penguins won the Stanley Cup! And a spirited win it was – winning the 7th game on their opponents home ice is not an easy feat. Not to mention the exceptional last second saves the Pengies made to avoid going into overtime. Out here in La-La land the Lakers closed out the Magic in 5, so I got out of that series with my fingernails still more or less intact, although games 2 through 4 severely tested my patience and sanity.

    I might also note that the Pirates don’t suck anywhere near as much as they usually have over the past couple decades or so. Maybe that’s not a big bragging point, but at least they aren’t the most sucky team in MLB now. And hey, you’ve got the Steelers there, too. But it’s easy to be magnanimous when the Dodgers are floating along with the best record in baseball (I think it is, I’ve missed the standings the last couple of days). I can’t help it, I moved out here in March, 1959…right when the Dodgers went from a 7th place finish in 1958 to winning the WS in 1959, and one year before the Lakers came out from Minnesota. L.A. was certainly a 9-year old sports fan’s paradise to me.

  18. 18.

    sloan

    How were you planning on getting Tunch to wear a RW jersey if they had won?

    He doesn’t seem the type who likes to play dress-up.

  19. 19.

    AhabTRuler

    @Laura W: What team does John hate most (as I Redskins fan I cannot pay attention to other teams’ rivalries, as I have been too depressed for the past two decades: Not only is our team name horrendously racist, but to add insult to injury, we suck)? Cause I can slap some jerseys on Tunch and Lily in a heartbeat!

    And no, there is no love for the Rams.

  20. 20.

    stinkwrinkle

    Ah, thus your recent acquisition of a dog… just in case….

    Or was Tunch going to get Red Wing gear if you lost?

    Scary either way.

  22. 22.

    Woody

    Lucie has a merry look on her face.

    Perhaps she has just relieved herself into the folds of the shirt on the floor?

    just askin? I got no dog (or shirt) in this fight…

  23. 23.

    JL

    There is no damn way my dog would ever be caught with a Yankees shirt on. Several years back my son went to Yankees stadium to see a Sox game. He had to get the tickets through Yankees stadium and had them sent to my house. When the Yankees Christmas catalog arrived that year, my son could hear me scream miles away. There are somethings you just don’t do.

  24. 24.

    Laura W

    @AhabTRuler:

    What team does John hate most

    John who? What am I? The BJ Archivist? Christ. It’s all I can do to keep complete files on his laborious personal and home hygiene rituals. I have time left to track his sports team fetishes?

    Lucie, Lucie, Lucie…you wear your Daddy’s shame very well.

  26. 26.

    AhabTRuler

    John who? What am I? The BJ Archivist?

    I thought you were the social director. Cause you’ll need an MLS for that archivist position.

    Lucie, Lucie, Lucie…you wear your Daddy’s shame very well.

    Funny, that’s what Grandma always said when she look at my eyes.

  30. 30.

    gex

    Couple of things for the OT:

    1) at doctor’s office today, big stoopid picture of Bristol Palin and her baby on the cover of People Magazine. Why *won’t* everyone respect their privacy, dammit?

    2) My prediction for the Vikings if Favre comes to the team. Super Bowl loss due to a touchdown after interception by the career interceptions leader.

  33. 33.

    geg6

    Lucie is looking beautiful and stylish in her very, very gorgeous jersey. Lucie looks very happy to be sporting the black and gold of the City of Champions, which she does with great elan. As for which football teams Steelers fans hate most, I won’t speak for John but I think you’d be safe in assuming that Cleveland, Cincinatti, Baltimore, and New England rate quite high in hateability for any Steeler fan. And, depending on how old you were in the Glorious Steeler Decade of the 1970s (or if you were even alive), the Cowgirls, too. We’re torn on the Raiders, we hate them but often find ourselves secretly rooting for them if we have nothing at stake.

  34. 34.

    Laura W

    I know no one but me and three others, max, notice this, but check out the opening bids on the Project Wonderful skyscraper ads all of a sudden!
    Greengate been very, very good to Balloon Juice ad revenue.

  35. 35.

    Svensker

    Does anyone have a good recipe for stuffed grape leaves — dolmathes?

    The Greek versions I don’t like (don’t tell my hub).

  36. 36.

    AhabTRuler

    @Laura W: Yes, but who is advertising the Christian Filipinas to this crowd?

    And does this strike anyone as worrying perhaps too much about life’s danger (don’t drive to the concert, you could be killed)?

  39. 39.

    Laura W

    @AhabTRuler:

    who is advertising the Christian Filipinas to this crowd?

    I tried to get in on the edit to point that ad out to everyone but the BJ Gods knew I had nothing good to say so they thwarted me. A few days ago that ad was running simultaneous with ads for Muslim women dating, IIRC? (I do not want to say the wrong thing here after no sleep last night and + 2. Hopefully I can edit this comment if I say something blasphemous or am misremembering what I think I saw.)

  40. 40.

    AhabTRuler

    @Laura W: Well, I know that the Great Gizoogle often posts hilariously inappropriate ads from keywords (although my favorite was an ad on CNN that advertised gas grills in an article about a man burned to death in a gas grill accident. Context relevant advertising w00t!).

    Dropped the SO off at the airport a little while ago. For the next two weeks it is me and Momo on our own, and I don’t start work until next Moonday. Freedom, horrible freedom!

  41. 41.

    Ash Can

    @Michael D.: That format-switching may be a function of your computer. I’ve noticed that when I access this site from our 10-year-old Sony Vaio (Windows 98 OS, the whole shot) that bare-bones template turns up now and then. Refreshing the page almost always fixes it on the first try. (Also, the function buttons are hit-or-miss at best when I use the old jalopy.)

  42. 42.

    Nellcote

    Why does PETA Pammy only have one metaboob in the middle of her chest in that photo up in the corner?

  43. 43.

    Laura W

    @AhabTRuler:

    Dropped the SO off at the airport a little while ago. For the next two weeks it is me and Momo on our own,

    You may as well ask Tunch to carve out a space for you on his beloved futon as I ‘spect we’ll be seeing a lot of you then, and it might be easier to just sleep at John’s.
    (BYOM! And the camera!)

  45. 45.

    ihop

    i know a happy doggie when see one.

    she probably had a side bet of her own, perhaps a tattoo and a certain body part of daddy’s, which daddy has yet to hear about…

  47. 47.

    Strandedvandal

    Lucy is a very happy rescue border collie. It really is upsetting that someone suggests that shes being abused. She and her sister are our children. Perhaps some should think before they post. Lucy looks so happy because she loves to have her picture taken. And I promised to take her out for a run later.

  49. 49.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Strandedvandal: Lucie is beautiful, and she looks super-happy to me. I think she’s secretly a Penguins fan.

    @Laura W: Wait, huh? I am social director now? Does that mean I have to carry a goddamn clipboard around? No, wait, that was cruise social director.

    @AhabTRuler: The Browns. Steelers/Browns. Big rivalry.

  52. 52.

    Glocksman

    @asiangrrlMN:

    If you remember that show, you’re probably my age (early 40’s) or older. :)

    Was it Saturday evenings when it was first The Love Boat and then Fantasy Island on ABC?

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