Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Bark louder, little dog.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

“In this country American means white. everybody else has to hyphenate.”

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

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Open Thread

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Here is a video I took on Saturday of Ginny and Guesly freaking out when my mother turns on the hairdryer. I was telling mom that Lily never barks, and mom said “Oh, really? Want to see what I have to deal with?”

I laughed the entire time:

Here is a pic of Lily, who jumped up onto the futon while we were playing and I caught her in mid play. She still has no clue what to do with balls or toys, but I can get her into the play bow, and then start making funny sounds while tapping on the floor, and she starts to drag herself by her front paws and acting all goofy. We were doing that and I chased her into the room, she jumped up onto the futon and I snapped a picture.

The best part is that when she jumped up on the futon, she didn’t look first, and a very asleep Tunch got the surprise of his life and went screaming into the other room. He came back in after he pulled himself together, sat in the doorway with this disgusted look on his face as we played, as if to say “Have you no dignity?” He’s in the other room being pissed off and I’d take a picture, but I don’t think you would be able to tell the difference from any other day. I can’t. What I love about Tunch is he has two moods- “go to hell” and “no, really, I said go to hell. Also, where is the food?”

*** Update ***

And as I wrote this post, Tunch came in, reclaimed his throne, and proceeded to noisily clean himself while glaring at me:

He’s going to kill me in my sleep. I know it.

Also, someone remind me to start posting other people’s pet pics. I’m back up to over 100 in the pet folder and need to start putting them up again or I will never catch up. Lily has been hogging the spotlight since I got her two weeks ago.

Reader Interactions

98Comments

  2. 2.

    Krista

    Bwah-ha-ha! What sassy little arseholes! Oh well, your folks knew what they were getting into when they adopted two JRTs. :)

    I think Lily’s good for your health — between the marathon walks and the chasing her around the house, you’re probably getting a lot more exercise than you used to, no?

    What I love about Tunch is he has two moods- “go to hell” and “no, really, I said go to hell. Also, where is the food?”

    And that’s why we love him too.

  3. 3.

    Comrade Stuck

    Lily looks highly comfortable all splayed out on that futon.

    The Jack Russell Terrorers have enough energy to send some back to the lectric company.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    He’s going to kill me in my sleep. I know it.

    As long as you keep feeding him, you should be safe.

    -dms

  6. 6.

    Comrade Stuck

    He’s going to kill me in my sleep. I know it.

    He always like he’s working something out.

  7. 7.

    Krista

    I love, love, love the rollover caption in the Tunch picture. That is one seriously un-impressed cat.

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    On a completely non-pet-related subject, I ran across this today, a new entry in the Technology Run Amok category. The thought of using an iPhone to emulate a slide rule is somewhere between really cool and really disturbing.

    And there’s probably a better than even chance that my dad would buy a copy.

    -dms

  9. 9.

    Svensker

    Why do dogs drag themselves by their front paws? I’d never seen a dog do that until we semi-adopted the retardo-boxer next door. It is totally goofy.

    Does Tunch give lessons in icy glaring? I’d like to sign up.

  12. 12.

    Laura W

    @JenJen:

    but the backdrop is Sexy People Blog-worthy.

    You totally made me snort.
    You know, of course, that is the supreme indication of the perfect laugh…the sudden, unexpected, uncontrollable snort?
    No higher praise on earth.
    You win my Best Laugh O’ The Day Award, JenJen!

    PeeEss Cat Lady: NICE!

  13. 13.

    jl

    Well, John Cole clearly understands who is the alpha mammal around the house. Tunch has been indulgent and has issued repeated warnings, full of grandfatherly kindness, from what I can see. Yet the mere human persists in his impertinence and flippant lack of respect.

    This won’t end well unless someone learns to understand his place.

    As for the terriers, after watching all their videos, now I think I know where the inspiration for Taz, the tasmanian devil came from.

  15. 15.

    Jennifer

    He’s going to kill me in my sleep.

    It could be worse. Tunch could be one of these guys. You wouldn’t stand a chance then.

    This really screwed up my commute this morning.

  19. 19.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    Cats are dignified, dogs are not, or so teh kittehs telegraph to us. Tommy (our orange male) has managed to get himself stuck in two awkward positions since we got him. One was ass up (and front paws down) between the washer, stepladder and our daughter’s boogie board, the second was this weekend in our garage. He managed to climb up a pile of storage stuff in the garage and found a nice cubbyhole to tuck himself into.

    Unfortunately, once he got in he discovered that there was no way out when you’re jammed into a spot half your size, your ass is in the air and the only way out is straight up, five feet. When I found him I pulled out a four foot spare fluorescent bulb he was pressing against, then seeing he was not in pain I had to go get the camera (on my garage desk about five feet away) and snap a shot for posterity.

    Luckily he was jammed next to an old end table and I only had to move a few things to free him. Both times he has been stuck, once freed he just shakes himself off (dusty), holds his head up and slowly waltzes away like nothing happened.

    I will post a pic of the captive subject in a bit as it’s on the other system and I need to upload it.

  21. 21.

    abo gato

    I’ve got two JRT’s too….they are WAY ocd…..those dogs of your parents are going to bark at the hairdryer all the days of their lives. MIne have weird ticks that they absolutely HAVE to do any time the trigger starts. Crazy shit. But we love them anyway…..so who’s really crazy, huh?

  22. 22.

    Poopyman

    Also, someone remind me to start posting other people’s pet pics. I’m back up to over 100 in the pet folder and need to start putting them up again or I will never catch up. Lily has been hogging the spotlight since I got her two weeks ago.

    Lily’s your dog and this is your blog, so why worry about catching up?

    And as others have mentioned, you, the food provider, are NOT going to be killed in your sleep. Dogs have owners, cats have staff, and good help is so hard to find.

  23. 23.

    ninerdave

    Activist Judges BITCHES!!!

    Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr., writing for the majority, acknowledged that the court’s approach stretched the statutory text, but he said the court should avoid deciding hard constitutional questions when it could.

    I’m not up on the issues at stake here, but I found that paragraph amusing.

  24. 24.

    CynDee

    John, just hoping when you start posting pics of other people’s pets, you won’t cut back on Tunch and Lily. We are so spoiled and ruined now, totally hooked for life on them, and G&G, too. Thank you for sharing these glimpses into their days. It’s so great to see happy, healthy animals enjoying their lives. Thanks a million.

  25. 25.

    demkat620

    Happy Birthday John!

    Lily looks happy and relaxed. And by the way, my Jrt hates the hairdryer too. He also hates the vacuum, the broom, the mop, the can opener and the door bell.

  27. 27.

    You Don't Say

    They’re just trying to save her. The male is noticeably bigger than the female, huh?

    Lily looks lovely and Tunch’s stare is awesome. You’re a lucky man.

  28. 28.

    Louise

    I just sent my dog’s picture (that’s #101 for the pet folder), but I too want more Lily and Tunch. Tunch’s disdain is a tonic, really. I wish we could direct that glare in, say, Mitch McConnell’s direction.

  31. 31.

    The next-to-last samurai

    Happy birthday john! :-D did you know that cat people call Tunch’s pattern Van, after Lake Van in Turkey? And pet loving samurai ladies call Lily just plain adorable.

  33. 33.

    Anoniminous

    SAVE THE PAM AD!!!!!!

    Haven’t seen udders that size since my uncle’s dairy farm.

    How well I remember working over the summer back when I was a barefoot boy with cheeks of tan, getting up with the sun to milk and then feed the $@#%$#%^! cows, the sight of the sun lifting the morning dew off the freshly mowed grass, the smell of cow plop wafting through the morning air.

    But I digress.

    Anyway, $300 bucks is $300 bucks and the fact it comes from PETA is icing on the lagniappe.

  34. 34.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    John, when he starts winding his way through your legs as you are walking down the stairs then start to worry. As it is he is just going to dock your pay and cancel your day off.

  35. 35.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    That is the best Tunch expression yet.

    I had the most amazing experience on my ride tonight. I was sitting on a bench, between two ponds that are separated by the bike path, drinking my water. A Great Blue Heron stepped up from the pond behind me and walked (!!) across the path and stepped into the pond in front of me, all as if I wasn’t there. I sat there, water bottle frozen at my lips, afraid to move for fear of startling him. I probably shouldn’t have worried, he seemed totally in command of the situation.

  36. 36.

    Lesley

    Does Lilly wag her tail?

    —————-

    Don’t worry, Tunch won’t kill you until he has either opposable thumbs or a replacement.

  38. 38.

    AhabTRuler

    Don’t worry, Tunch won’t kill you until he has either opposable thumbs or a replacement.

    You didn’t know? Tunch has been accepting resumes since April.

  41. 41.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Oh and as far as the boxers are concerned the following are “the debil” and the “debil” must die

    1) The vacuum cleaner
    2) The broom
    3) The mop
    4) The rake
    5) The shovel
    6) The spade
    7) The pole which holds up the laundry line
    8) Any large branch over say 4 feet.
    9) The post hole digger.
    10) The weed eater, right up until the moment it is started.
    11) The long handled duster on a painters pole (to get at the cathedral ceilings)
    12) The step stool in the kitchen.

    I have no earthly clue why but there you go.

  43. 43.

    JK

    John McCain is a guest on tomorrow’s Larry King Live. Why is every single news outlet on tv tripping over themselves to interview this obnoxious, arrogant prick?

  44. 44.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    I love it when something like that happens, I had a GBH scolding me one day when I got too close to where he was perched and he so could not be bothered to move, he just yelled at me for a while until I walked on, then he preened himself in satisfaction that he had repelled the intruder.

  45. 45.

    burnspbesq

    @Karatist Preacher:

    Tunch and Lily will be fast friends before too long.

    I believe that when used that way, “fast friends” is a euphemism for “co-conspirators.”

  47. 47.

    Cat Lady

    @JK:

    How many people under the age of 65 will be watching that show? I know it’s frustrating to see, but really, that show will only be seen by hospital patients in traction and shut-ins who can’t find the remote.

  48. 48.

    breschau

    I have a golden lab that barks non-stop at the lawnmower. Nothing I do will stop this. I assume all animals are given random appliance triggers.

  49. 49.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Now that’s something I’d love to see. I think of them as such dignified and silent birds.

    Not long before that, I had to shoo a baby bird off the middle of the bike path. It was just standing there stunned, pretty much with the expression “I have wings, I just don’t know how to use them yet” and I knew there was a pack of small dogs heading its way, so I gently guided it to the tall grass on the side of the path. I’ve had days like that, so it was the least I could do ;-)

  51. 51.

    Left Coast Tom

    @John Cole:

    Not much. When she is happy, it is curled up like a pig’s tail in a curly cue (sp?).

    I grew up with a Siberian Husky who did likewise. The tail had three positions…curled up, straight out, and curled in. Never wagging. Each position seemed to have the obvious meanings.

  52. 52.

    CaseyL

    Now, that, by God, is a glare.

    OK, ‘fess up: everyone you talk about – your parents, their dogs, and your assorted animals – are all actors, right? engaged in some sort of reality show “theater of the real,” right? Including you, BTW.

    Because no one is that perfect that often, whether we’re talking “perfectly adorable” or “perfectly curmudgeonly.” Even Lily’s a ringer, right? (Or maybe I mean especially Lily.)

    C’mon. You can tell us the truth. We’re your friends; we can take it.

  54. 54.

    Lesley

    @breschau:

    My nephew’s poodle, Coco, now deceased, used to put his paws over his ears whenever James practiced the violin. This was accompanied by loud piteous groaning.

  55. 55.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    @breschau: I agree. We rescued a 4 year old greyhound, a retired racer. Never been in a house before. Everything was new and strange to him. One night we wake up to him growling and barking. I turn on the light – he’s growling at himself in the full length mirror.

  56. 56.

    JK

    CNN just reported that douchebag Governor Mark Sanford is not AWOL, he’s hiking the Appalachian Trail.

  57. 57.

    Krissed Off

    Excellent documentary on National Geographic channel this evening: “Iran and the West.” Again on NG West Channel at Midnight EDT, 9 pm PDT.

  58. 58.

    beabea

    Aw, it’s great to see all the pets. I love the anticipatory barking before the dryer comes on that last time. It’s like they’re thinking, “Now! Now!…no, wait!…no, now!!”

    The last few pics I have seen of Lily, she has seemed particularly relaxed and her eyes look very alert, bright and confident.

    King Tunch of Futon looks like he wants to backhand somebody…but as long as you don’t run into him at the store, hauling home his own bags of chow, you’ll probably be okay John.

  59. 59.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @JK: Christ, talk about Grumpy Old Men. They’ll spend five minutes comparing liver spots, a few more discussing the state of their bowels and then mutter about gosh danged whippersnappers today with their crazy music, before they nod off.

  60. 60.

    superluminar

    Happy Birthday John!

    Been a reader for a while, but not posted here before. Thought I probably should before Tunch kills me with a look…

  61. 61.

    Little Dreamer

    So now that the Iranian government is shooting those who oppose the election and/or it’s policy to shoot people, it’s now charging a $3,000 bullet fee to the families of the dead before they can retrieve the body of their loved ones.

    Stay classy A-jad!

  62. 62.

    beabea

    @Litlebritdifrnt

    you would think a resounding “fuck no” from the voting populace would give them an indication as to [McCain’s] relevance

    You would think…but then again this is the show that had Paul “the invasion of Iraq will pay for itself, and fairly soon” Wolfowitz on the other night, who got a resounding “fuck you” from reality, which I believe may trump the “fuck no” from us peons.

    It must be Wingnut Welfare week on LKL.

  63. 63.

    gbear

    @JK: Someone is probably lying, or else they found him lying in a pool of vomit and dragged him off to the trail to walk it off (after peeling off the wetsuit).

    note: if this blog gets any more sqee, John’s going to have to change the name to Balloon Dog Juice.

  64. 64.

    geg6

    OK, can we start our own Green Revolution and oust Harry Reid in favor of Tunch? Imagine how different things in the Senate would be when they are whipping votes and Tunch just sits and glares at them when assholes like DiFi start piously whining about there not being enough votes to pass health care. I’d march in the streets to see that.

  66. 66.

    harlana pepper

    OMG! If I were you, I would be terrified to fall asleep, ever again! You’ve done it now, Mr. Cole! Welcome, insomnia!

    (oh, crap, you think things are bad now, wait till Lily gets her “ears up”)

  68. 68.

    Lesley

    @demimondian:

    Cake wrecks is good like Failblog is good, but these human portrait shots of olde rock. Everybody who has lived at least a few decades can relate to them.

  69. 69.

    adam

    Omfg, please never have kids. You’d be the person sending out constant mass emails about junior’s doody schedule and how he’s the smartest kid in preschool, etc.

  71. 71.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    note: if this blog gets any more sqee, John’s going to have to change the name to Balloon Dog Animal Juice.

    Fix’t?

  76. 76.

    harlana pepper

    The fact that Lily jumped on the futon is an indication she is feeling her oats. Wait for ears-up any day now. Get ready!

    (btw, she looks great up there! um, don’t tell Tunch I said that)

  77. 77.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    @gbear:

    If dat be de case, wouldn’t Fire Dog Juice be better? ;)

    Sounds like some new energy drink…lol

  79. 79.

    gex

    @John Cole: Casey has one of those tails that mostly just curls up over his back. Those kinds of dog tails don’t do a lot of wagging – just a bit of a happy wiggle. It’s not like a good labrador where all items coffee-table level will get knocked around.

  82. 82.

    asiangrrlMN

    @tofubo: I’m really sorry to hear about your trya. May she run swiftly to the other side. My condolences.

    @Steeplejack: As for you, I see you’re still two-timing me with Laura W. Harumph.

    John, those JTs are terrors, aren’t they? They would drive me insane. Lily looks so settled in and happy.

    As for Tunch. Man, can he GLARE. I’m with geg6 in replacing Harry Reid with Tunch.

    It’s a good thing you live far away from me, Mr. Cole, or I might be tempted to catnap Tunch.

    AhabTRuler, your Momo is a crack up! She’s very cute, too.

  83. 83.

    Little Dreamer

    @demimondian:

    Well, then talk to Farnaz Fassihi who has been contributing to the Wall Street Journal since April.

    Huffington Post picked it up too.

  84. 84.

    Darkrose

    Honestly, John–don’t you know you’re never supposed to take a picture of The Cat while he’s washing or on the box? It’s a serious affront to their feline dignity! Or something.

  85. 85.

    Krista

    Imagine how different things in the Senate would be when they are whipping votes and Tunch just sits and glares at them when assholes like DiFi start piously whining about there not being enough votes to pass health care.

    Not a bad idea, especially as the other master of the glare is no longer with us.

  87. 87.

    donnah

    It’s amazing to me that in two weeks time, Lily has blossomed (no pun intended) from the quiet, painfully curled-up dog into the bright, open one in that picture. Just compare the before and after photos. You are to be commended for changing her life so much for the better.

  88. 88.

    Laura W

    @Steeplejack: Yes, I had gone to bed and now I’m back up. See how that works? Hoping the same for you. (I had not see the Concords. What an image to wake up to.)

    I think Asiangrrl is a tad greedy and possessive. I’m pretty sure you and I were link whoring (along with her fake gay hubby) long before she came to BJ Town. It’s not my fault she has the same good taste in dudes as me. Interloper.

  89. 89.

    The Saff

    Lily has blossomed (no pun intended) from the quiet, painfully curled-up dog into the bright, open one in that picture.

    That’s what I thought when I saw Lily’s picture. She is such a dolly. As is Tunch, even with “the glare.”

  91. 91.

    Steeplejack

    @Laura W:

    Haw!

    Sifting through the archives looking for a good clip, and I got lost in deep retro dive into old Hollies stuff. Amazing that there are so many live clips extant of these old groups. (Can’t find many for Mitch Ryder, alas.) Anyway, I was thinking “I Can’t Let Go”–

    Though I’m just one of your lovers
    And I know there are so many others . . .

    –but then I remembered one of my old favorites, “Tell Me to My Face,” which Dan Fogelberg memorably covered on Twin Sons of Different Mothers.

  93. 93.

    Ash Can

    I’m absolutely loving these animals. But boy, John, you’d better check your shoes carefully from now on before putting them on.

  94. 94.

    Laura W

    @Steeplejack: Haven’t heard that song forever. Fogelberg lived just outside the small CO town I moved here from. Was a big, early supporter of the Humane Society there.

    Anyway, it’s Tues morn and why are we doing song links anyway?
    Last one, I swear. I’ve posted this to you before, as you might remember. My very favorite Annie Lennox number. Breaks my heart. Love everything about it.
    Waiting in Vain.
    (And yes, I’m going with the album cut because to link to the video again with her in the fucking mouse ears would be beyond-sacrilegious and I would surely weep.)

  95. 95.

    IanY77

    Absolutely priceless John. Thanks for those.

    You know, I couldn’t pick you out of a crowd, but those kinds of pics really humanize you as a writer. It’s one of the reasons that I come here more than almost any other blog.

    Maybe Michelle Malkin should post pet pics. Or maybe not. Seeing half eaten hamster corpses wouldn’t help her image much (I kid, I kid).

    But seriously, great stuff. Thanks for that.

  96. 96.

    Steeplejack

    @Laura W:

    Have to indulge in a bit of a mini-rant here. I did see the version of “Waiting in Vain” by Annie Lennox (in Mickey Mouse ears!) that you posted in March. It was practically the last thing I did see before my computer cratered and I began the tedious process of reconstruction/forced upgrade.

    Rant is that “Waiting in Vain” has always been an anthem to me, and I didn’t like A.L.’s slightly smirky demeanor–and the mouse ears! It was sacrilegious. (Don’t know if you were being sarcastic about that.) That is my only complaint about A.L.: she always has to let you know that she’s in on the joke–even if she’s the only one–and sometimes it gets in the way. There are some songs that demand the simple, honest treatment. “Waiting in Vain” is one.

    Okay, glad I got that off my chest. I’ll close with another anthem, Mikey Spice’s “Alli Alli Ho.” (Try to ignore the occasional voice-overs from DJ EyeMan. Dude, WTF?!)

    Well, this has been a pretty spiritually uplifting morning for me already: “Yah Mo Be There,” “Waiting in Vain” and “Alli Alli Ho.” Onward into the day!

  97. 97.

    Laura W

    @Steeplejack:

    (Don’t know if you were being sarcastic about that.)

    NO! Dead serious and disgusted with her for precisely your point.
    Blasphemous, especially on that gorgeous song.

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