Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff’s Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a ‘verbal altercation.’ Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.
I wonder what their Red State usernames are…
The Grand Panjandrum
Jake? Tapper?
UPDATE: I shouldn’t harsh on my homey for flaming me on Twitter.
Comrade Stuck
Assault with a deadly snack. That’ll get ya a year in mom’s basement with an internet connection to Pajamas Media.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Comrade Stuck: Oy at least it’s not a connection to Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage.
UPDATE: I almost Godwin’d this bad boy before it got going!
inkadu
Why weren’t they tasered?
Comrade Stuck
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Tru dat!
Laura W
At first I was disappointed, seeing the title and expecting a Hola Fruta confession or review.
But this is funnier. Way funnier.
Jeremy
Priceless. I laughed and spit cheeto crumbs all over my monitor.
freelancer
Don’t kid yourself, they are most likely Warner Todd Huston’s home-schooled children. They could barely get the bag open, much less decipher a keyboard with buttons.
simonee
Assault with Cheetos? If anything, that sounds more like an AOL user.
A Red Stater would have used a gun.
demo woman
They both posted a $2500 bond. Talk about expensive cheetos.
Cromagnon
User names were:
Im_a_wannabe
and
I_wish_I_had_the_balls_to_serve
Dave
People, please. I’m saddened to be the first to have to say this. The dateline on the story indicates it happened in Tennessee.
There is no one else it could be except the Ole Perfesser and Dr. Mrs. Ole Perfesser.
AkaDad
The only bad thing about Cheetos is my orange penis.
JenJen
Cheeto Assault is a serious matter. I was
relievedlaughed my ass off to read thebestfunniest line in the news account:“No one was hurt.”
JGabriel
You never know. Someone could have lost an eye.
.
Gordon, The Big Express Engine
@AkaDad: Heh
LD50
@AkaDad: Why’s that bad?
Yukoner
Okay, I have finaly figured out that all this talk about “Cheetos” on Balloon Juice. You guys are talking about Cheezies! Cheezies for crying in the beer! And all along I though it was some odd American cultural reference to people who cheat. I really should use the Google more.
Death By Mosquito Truck
Next time use popcorn, a salt and buttery snack.
Moonbatting Average
I dunno, I think I sprained something laughing
…
I should have known you would be all over this before I e-mailed it to you, John… I fail at life
JenJen
Speaking of Snack Food Intrigue, I’m concerned we’re beginning to see a trend:
Oklahoma City woman trades sex for case of Frito-Lay chips
Jimmy Fallon’s monologue on this the other night killed me: “A woman in Oklahoma was arrested for prostitution after agreeing to be paid for her services with a case of Frito-Lay chips. The judge sentenced her to 90 days of having to tell people that.”
evie
hahahahahahaha!
long time lurker, since Terry Schiavo, and John still anR.
I love this place!
peace, Evie
D-Chance.
Well, this is as good an “open thread” as any…
Malkin is looking for a few more good Roeders. Why else the “WANTED” poster? That type of propaganda is part and parcel of what the anti-abortionists used in the lead up to various assassination and assassination attempts.
YellowJournalism
Sounds like Britney Spears’s real parents have finally been found!
Dream On
If Cheetos are outlawed, only outlaws will have Cheetos.
grumpy realist
Now what I want to do is Photoshop together a modern version of Alma-Tadema’s “The Roses of Heliobagus” involving Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage, The Doughy Pantload, Bible Spice, The Great White Hunter, She Who Shall Not Be Named, and TONS of Cheetos….