Whatever it takes, I guess:
A former mayor found sitting naked and holding a beer at a Rabun County campsite told police he wasn’t the same naked man seen walking around earlier.
Mark Musselwhite, 43, said he was hot and had been in the creek, according to a Georgia Department of Natural Resources incident report. He apparently didn’t think he was doing anything wrong.
Sometimes the heat just gets to you.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Did they find the wetsuit?
I ain’t mad, or laughing at him!
I wish I had a creek to immerse myself in here in Marietta, GA. Naked or otherwise.
It’s hotter than a steel rod in hell and the air conditioner has been running non-stop for at least two weeks now.
The recession has been kicking my butt for 6 months, and the upcoming electric bill may be the punch that delivers the knock-out blow.
@metricpenny: I’m with you. It was so muggy the other day I thought about jumping in the river while walking Lily, but then decided that if anyone saw my fat white ass coming out of the river, they might push me back in to keep me wet and call Sea World about beached waterlife.
My favorite part of the story
“You must be looking for the *other* nekkid guy.”
Wasn’t naked hiking day last week?
Bill E Pilgrim
That’s putting the nuts in Wingnuts.
I loved this: “What do you mean naked? Oh I’m naked now, sure. But whoever complained, it was about some other guy.”
Edit: Do you think he’ll do a naked version of Sanford’s press conference? Kind of like Hair meets The Confessions of St Augustine?
Wait, maybe I could rephrase that.
Move along. This is not the naked man you are looking for.
I love the whole “I know I’m naked but I’m not the naked guy you’re looking for” part of the story.
Is Rabun County Ga being over run by naked men?
He’s just sayin’. No reason. He *definitely* doesn’t want the ranger to give him special treatment or anything.
We had an extraordinarily cool and wet spring here in north Alabama, and it was lovely. But now, we’re 10+ days in a row of 95 degree weather, and we’re starting to wonder: is this the new normal? I surely hope not.
We’re hoping to head out tomorrow to go swim in some cool mountain water.
I’m 43 and I love to walk around naked. Now, I can’t say, with any degree of certainty, whether I’ve ever been in Rabun County, so…
Still, I think I’ll go with “I’m not that naked guy”, too. Better safe than sorry.
kommrade reproductive vigor
He was waiting for Sanford. They were going to have a “very political” meeting on the Appalachian Trail. Unfortunately, Mr. Whitemuscle didn’t hear about Sanford’s last minute change in plans and since he was wearing a suit and tie, he soon got hot and had to soak in the creek to cool off.
Having just spent 10 days in the Aspen/Snowmass, Co area, the record heat and humidity here in Fla is damn close to unbearable.
I am beginning to wonder if the plane crashed on the way home and this is really Hell.
The Grand Panjandrum
The guys at Monkey Business Blog put up this George Carlin video ( possibly NSFW) in a post about our buddy Mark Sanford. Carlin was probably onto something.
New England is turning into the Canadian maritimes. June has been a total cool washout, with no end in sight. Rise in ocean temps effects the Gulf Stream, which effects New England, which effects the Florida peninsula, which effects Alabama, which means that yes, this is the new normal.
Smart thinking. “It’s not just me, officer, there are a bunch of other naked, drunk dudes wandering around. We meet on Thursdays.”
Bill E Pilgrim
So was that you walking around naked in this thread earlier today?
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Ha ha hah hahha. POTD.
This rarely works for black guys the cops like to arrest, even when true. Wonder how it is going to work for this dude?
Camping, hot weather, beer, women and nakedness… sounds about right to me.
Re. the weather. It’s been an unusually warm and dry June for the Pacific Northwest (by our standards but probably not by most of the rest of the country). Mostly sixties and seventies and sunny skies. But this morning I woke up the 39 degrees. Brrr.
Drinking while naked is the new black.
@gex: THis was meant to address “you’ve got the wrong guy” arguments in the general case, not just the apparently exploding naked guy problem that is the afflicting Rabun County.
Bill E Pilgrim
@jrg: Wow that was good.
Lilly von Schtupp
One thing about living in the Pacific Northwest is that we do not have extreme heat. I am so thankful for that! Having lived in just about every region of this country I can say I do not miss hot muggy weather. The heat does make you crazy! The only downside is that we’re all a bunch of whiners if it gets near 85.
South of I-10
I can’t realy blame him for that. Temp has been over 100 all week and no rain in a month. June is usually when we get the most rain! I miss the afternoon thunderstorms. So glad we have a pool party to go to today, my hang ups about how I look in a bathing suit have been overcome by extreme heat.
I don’t know. When I lived in North Carolina there was a local swimming hole that was in a state park. I used to go swimming there, in bathing attire. Once, I ran into a bunch of people swimming nude — apparently they thought that the spot was part of their friend’s property, which had a path that led to the swimming hole — and they kept asking me how exactly I had gotten there, and were a little surprised when I told them it was PUBLIC property they were cavorting around in in the buff. If I were going to walk around naked I would make sure that anyone who saw me was trespassing.
Apparently, I don’t either. We should have such high crimes and misdemeanors.
Mr. Mayor, your honor — Mark — if you’re reading this, don’t let the turkeys get you down! There’s my good deed for the day.
Slightly excerpted version of the original police report to be found here.
ALL CAPS in original, it’s common on such incident report forms.
ON JUNE 20, 2009 I, RANGER BRANDON WALLS, WAS WORKING WITH DEPUTY SHERIFF JOURDAN MCKAY.
AROUND 2230 HRS, WE RECEIVED A…COMPLAINT OF A MALE SUBJECT WALKING IN THE ROAD AND AROUND A CAMPSITE NUDE…
…WE ARRIVED AT THIS LOCATION AROUND 2249 HRS [note: 10:49 pm].
I OBSERVED A MALE SUBJECT SITTING NUDE IN A CHAIR IN FRONT OF HIS CAMPER/HORSE TRAILER. WE MADE CONTACT WITH THE SUBJECT WHO EARLIER IN THE DAY I HAD IDENTIFIED AS [former Gainesville, GA Mayor] MARK MUSSELWHITE. I HAD SPOKEN WITH HIM EARLIER THAT DATE IN REFERENCE TO AN [all terrain vehicle] HE HAD BEEN RIDING IN THE AREA.
HE LOOKED AT US AND SAID HELLO. I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING, HE SAID HE WAS JUST SITTING HERE AND ASKED IF THERE WAS A PROBLEM.
I DID NOTICE HE WAS DRINKING AT APPEARED VERY INTOXICATED.
I ASKED HIM WHY HE DID NOT HAVE ANY CLOTHES ON, AND HE SAID HE WAS HOT AND HAD BEEN IN THE CREEK. AT THAT POINT HE WANTED TO KNOW WHY WE WERE THERE AND WHAT HE WAS DOING WRONG.
I ADVISED HIM THAT WE HAD GOTTEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT A MAN WALKING AROUND NUDE IN THE AREA.
STILL NUDE, HE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS NOT HIM. I SAID THE COMPLAINTANT [?] HAD SPECIFICALLY SAID HIS CAMPSITE, AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS STILL NUDE MADE ME THINK IT WAS HIM.
I ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD PUT ON HIS CLOTHES AND HE PUT ON A PAIR OF SHORTS. I TOLD HIM THAT HE COULDN’T DO THINGS LIKE THAT HERE, IT WAS A PUBLIC PLACE AND CHILDREN AND OTHER CAMPERS WERE PRESENT, AND PEOPLE HAD SEEN HIM.
HE SAID HE DIDN’T THINK IT WAS A PROBLEM, THAT NOBODY COULD SEE HIM. I TOLD HIM AGAIN THAT PEOPLE HAD SEEN HIM, AND ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD DO THAT AT WALMART, HE SAID NO HE WOULDN’T.
HE BECAME VERY [BELLIGERENT] TOWARD US, AND TELLING ME THAT HE KNEW A [Department of Natural Resources] BOARD MEMBER AND HE WAS GOING TO CALL HIM, BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING HARASSED…
…AT THIS POINT I TOLD MR. MUSSELWHITE THAT HE WAS UNDER ARREST AND ASKED HIM TO TURN AROUND AND PLACE HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK, WHICH HE DID…
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Bill E Pilgrim
Hey that’s solicitation, isn’t it?
Maybe the cop meant like as community service. Too bad the guy refused.
@Bill E Pilgrim: I didn’t think about those 2 different versions of “would”.
Bill E Pilgrim
Damn, there was another one:
Officers received reports of a man wearing a dress in Central Park at night and responded as a possible solicitation violation. On arriving they found a man wearing an elaborate gown and wig, and clearly intoxicated, sitting in front of the boathouse. One of our officers gave a positive ID for him as the former Mayor of New York, which we were able to verify as true from earlier complaints. We told him that he had been seen wearing dresses on earlier occasions, which he denied, he was slurring his words and said something about “[expletive deleted] Florida” several times before being taken into custody…
Death By Mosquito Truck
I’ll never understand how folks can do naked and belligerent at the same time. Sounds like he was gonna get a pass on the naked until he got belligerent.
@Bill E Pilgrim: But then he said “9/11” several thousands of times in a row and they let him go.
Bill E Pilgrim
@El Cid: Heh.
Wait, aren’t there “911 abuse” laws on the books?
Damn, there are:
He could have been locked up for the entire primary, if any of the other GOP candidates had been on their toes. And definitely after the convention, but I guess it didn’t matter anymore then.
@Lilly von Schtupp:
You’re not from around here, are you, because around here 85 is extreme heat.
Is it just me, or would this story make more sense if the guys’ name was Bob and he was cooking at his campsite with a brick oven?
I can’t believe I have to point this out, but look at the date he was arrested: it was the eve of Nude Hiking Day, and he’s in one of the most popular parts of the state for hikers (I’m guessing he was found around Rabun Gap, which, while technically not itself part of the AT, is a connecting branch).
So yeah, it actually is possible that he wasn’t the nude hiker they were looking for,
Oh and @metricpenny: I really can’t believe I’m telling you this, but…if you go down Paper Mill Rd and pull off at the bridge over Sope Creek, you can walk along it about a quarter-mile north to where there’s a slight bend. The only house with a view of the spot is that giant brick castle with the ornate cement lions heads, and the owner is generally not in town. Happy swimming!
the Fox news version:
If you’re a Republican, and you’re caught in the woods naked, the *last* thing you want to do is suggest there’s *another* naked man running around. That’ll only make people think there was a tryst.
Better to suggest the “other” naked man was a local hairless variety of Bigfoot.
(But I suppose that would make this guy the Republican Sasquatch.)
“Sir, we found a large footprint and a teabag at the edge of the woods.”
it’s not the heat …it’s the stupidity
pseudonymous in nc
Well, it’s Deliverance country. Also the heart of the new (and pretty interesting) Georgia winemaking trade, curiously enough.
Second Roza FTW
Is this really where someone who mops naked wants to go today?
Frankly, if this were the worst that any Republicans ever did in the past 40 years, this world would be a far, far better place. Not necessarily prettier, but better. And happier. Also.
Sex offender registry, here we come! (Assuming it’s as easy to get on in Florida as I suspect it is, that is.)
@John Cole (4): LOL!
@JR (40): Thanks for the dip tip.
ps John. How about a lesson on doing the @ thingy when responding to comments in a post? I appreciated your lesson a while back on the link thingy.
pps Yes. I’m going back through the posts from yesterday and reading the comments. It’s already 83 degrees, with a heat index of 91 degrees and 73% humidity. The high is predicted to be 94 degrees today. I am not leaving my air conditioned home and my entertainment choices are limited.
Ella in NM
It’s reassuring to know that the Christian Taliban Government of Georgia’s Bureau for the Promotion of Virtue and and Prevention of Vice is there when you need them, even at 10:49 pm, in a remote, tick-infested campground in the backwoods of Deliverance country. Thank God they got this guy.