I try not to nutpick, and I’m not claiming that this comment is typical of anything but this really cracked me up (from the comments on Michael Calderone’s blog, scroll down to 6:19 pm):
Now why would anybody be dumb enough to believe anything being said on Reliable Sources? Howard Kurtz and ‘friends’ are always liberal Socialists with Marxist bents, all think that Marxist Obama is the Messiah who can walk on water and cure all sicknesses with the wave of his hands, and all tacidly work for the Democrat/Marxist Party in order to create a new (but better, they believe) workers paradise like the former USSR, Communist China, or North Korea. While Fox News informs their listeners on all the news going on without taking sides, the rest of the MSM is nothing more than the Democrat Marxist Parties propaganda arm that will only tell their listeners the Obama and Democrat Marxist-approved news. No wonder they hate Fox.
My spoofdar tells me this is not a spoof.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
Your spoofdar can’t be trusted, but neither can anyone else’s. Right-wing blogs and those who make fun of them, like teh Sadlies and (lately) this place, have acted as a sort of giant EMP that has burned out every spoofdar in existence.
xxx
…forgot, “in conjunction with the Reverse Vampires”…..
Ash Can
So if a real, honest-to-goodness health care reform act is passed and a comprehensive health care system set up, will people like this start getting the treatment they need and stop posting stuff like this on the Internet?
Bad Horse's Filly
Wait, so if President Obama can heal the sick with a wave of his hands, why is he proposing health care reform? I’m confused.
BTW, that whole post was the best laugh I’ve had all day.
LD50
You have to be impressed. In 4 sentences, he says ‘Marxist’ 4 times, says ‘Democrat Marxist’ 3 times, mentions ‘Communist China’, North Korea, and the USSR, and even fits in calling Obama a ‘Messiah’. Wingnuts are just like parrots these days.
If ‘Democrat Marxism’ is the alternative to imbeciles like this, I welcome it.
Yutsano
I predict massive amounts of going Galt and lawsuits to overturn whatever public option might come out of the process as un-Constitutional. Especially if all their fears come to pass and all the insurance companies fold and the government option is the only game in town. Either way they’ll fight the “soshulism” tooth and nail…until they need it. Pretty much the same as they regard Social Security and Medicare.
gnomedad
@Bad Horse’s Filly:
As akaDad noted in a recent thread, Obama could heal the sick and fix the economy, but instead he uses his magic powers to make Republicans cheat on their wives.
williamc
@Ash Can
…no they won’t get the help they obviously so desperately need because they’ll think the dang gubment is trying to take their land, or super-tax them, or whatever space that their wheel of crazy conspiracy landed on at the moment…
Jennifer
I’m just curious as to why, in an overly capitalistic/consumerist democratic republic, anything that offers a measure of fairness to the masses (which, given the nature of a democratic republic is how things were supposed to work – people voting in enlightened self-interest), it’s somehow “Marxist” whenever the system, in fact, does what its designers intended for it to do.
The will to authoritarianism is strong in them, Luke. It’s why they continue to entertain the willful delusion that CEOs are worth hundreds of millions per year while the many workers without whom the CEO wouldn’t have a job are worthless. Because they aren’t comfortable in a world without Masters of the Universe in which a few very wealthy men wield power over millions – including themselves. Especially including themselves.
Joshua Norton
What’s painfully obvious is he doesn’t even know what any of those words mean.
Suuuure Faux gives you “all sides” of the story. O’Reilly’s, Rush’s, Hannitys, Beck, etc., etc, etc.
PeakVT
will people like this start getting the
treatmenteducation they need and stop posting stuff like this on the Internet?Different problem.
Viva BrisVegas
Extra points for “tacidly”.
Brian Griffin
“healthcare reform?” bah.
I thought the whole point of nominating these activist justices who don’t believe in precedent (I’m sorry, “originalists”) was just to get five that would declare the great society unconstitutional. if not, my mom will sure be disappointed, she’s been talking about that since the 70’s.
john roberts you are her only hope to save us from the democrat marxists!
geg6
Bwahahahahahaha! Wow, my stomach hurts from laughing at that one. That’s some brilliantly crazy shit there. If that’s not spoof, I take my hat off to whomever has to finally catch and re-medicate that one. Bwahahahaha! Damn.
JoeBuddha
Faux News Fair and Balanced reminds me of that bar in The Blues Brothers that plays “Both kinds [of music]: Country AND Western.”
Jim-Bob
The poster’s name is “Madhatter.”
I’d say there’s a 40% chance of partly spoofy.
Jim-Bob
“Well it’s a bee-yootiful place, Bob!”
Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
jl
It is impossible to tell what is a spoof or not anymore. However, I do worry about normal people who attempt to write convincing spoofs of current wingnut rantery.
I mean, you have to get so crazy stoned and drunk to do a good job, it is dangerous. That is why I quite some time ago-massive drops of acid, meth, pain-killers, jack daniels and hash just didn’t seem to get me ‘way far out there’ enough anymore and I tended to get sick and throw-up and stuff. So I quit. Plus my doc said I would probably drop dead from it someday.
But I am sure there are brave souls who still try. I hope they know what they are doing. It’s a dangerous job, but does some one really need to do it?
linda
there is some serious crazy in the comments at politico that read like free republic.
Legalize
At this point the inquiry into the spoofiness of that comment is moot because whether it is or not, the vast majority of wingnuts will heartily embrace the sentiment esposed. Even if it is spoofery, winger ratification makes it de facto official policy. The commented will probalby receive an offer of a fellowship position at some hair-brained think tank.
Bad Horse's Filly
@gnomedad: As long as his talents aren’t going to waste.
parksideq
Is this Peak Wingnut? Or is it just another rung on the ladder approaching wingularity?
Jager
I think that comment was from my brother in law. (why did my sister marry him?) My nieces have spent their lives joining their mother in eye rolling exercises.
Dennis-SGMM
If you just transcribed some of GOPers’ ravings in Congress the result would make a damn fine spoof post. They are currently offering bi-partisan support for health care reform as long the reforms don’t cut profits for the HMOs or Big Pharma, don’t cost any money, won’t raise taxes, don’t have a public option and will in no way cause the government to further regulate the health care industry. What could go wrong?
Nylund
So does ANYONE like Howie Kurtz? (besides howie)
And seriously, if Howie is thought to be part of the left’s propaganda machine, we really need a new machine.
jl
@Dennis-SGMM:
“They are currently offering bi-partisan support for health care reform as long the reforms don’t cut profits for the HMOs or Big Pharma,”
This is becoming really puzzling. Why would mostly poor and middle class losers who are among the most ripped-off be so protective their ripper-offers?
I am torn about this, since I am a silly liberal who worries about externalities, fairness, and social welfare. But… if they really really want to be ripped off, I am willing to support an opt-out for wingnuts. They can opt-out of the benefits, and the portion of tax dollars that go to these programs could be sent directly to mega-banks and mega-health care insurers. I could be down with that.
demimondian
@Dennis-SGMM: Nah, the Republicans have it down. They just want to guarantee the American People a CHOICE. Mittens tells it like it is on Press the Meat.
America’s Republicans — pro-choice. Pro-meaningless-choice.
Deborah
It provides me an inordinate amount of glee/schadenfraude, that the only consistent meme the Republicans seem able to agree on is that the Democrats make them so crazy they just can’t form adjectives. Say anything, anything at all, but make sure to toss “the democrat party” in there.
If the GOP tosses Steele out is there any chance they’ll get back to trying to force the Democrats to rename themselves? That was such a lovely short answer to “what are Republicans doing now that they’re out of power?”
jl
@Nylund: Um… I think Kurtz is so dumb and hopelessly clueless, and clumsily hapless, that people feel sorry for him and keep quiet about what they think.
gex
Now, why go out of your way to use this fancy word if you don’t know how to spell it?
M WIlson
I propose that, from here on out, we refer to the right side of the political spectrum as the Republic Party. When they ask why, we’ll say that since conservatives continuously refer to the Democratic party as the “Democrat” party — to emphasize the rat, as you may be aware — we feel obligated to emphasize the “republic” tendencies of conservative officials. You know, like the idea that a GOP rep should receive special treatment, can keep their position regardless of elections, or is immune to hypocrisy.
This is a menial slur that they think is clever, but in reality makes them seem less educated than the hated Hispanic immigrant who speaks broken English. For all of the bluster that English should be the national language, it’s amazing that conservatives don’t even know how to speak it properly…
LarryB
My spoofdar is broken. Wingnut commentary became indistinguishable from parody quite awhile ago.
PurpleGirl
PeakWingnut is an asymtotic line. It approaches but does not meet or intersect its associated curve or zero. Therefore PeakWingnut does not exist… they just keep getting crazier and crazier.
(Any mathematicians who read BJ: I’m not a mathematician myself, I just typed the stuff at the Courant Institute (on a Selectric!) and have only a very basic understanding of the concept.)
Dennis-SGMM
@demimondian:
The choices now are go broke and then die or be broke already and just die.
Delia
When you have people like Michelle Bachmann actually in Congress the line between spoof and wingnut has become nonexistent.
My deeply serious psychiatric theory is that spoofing has become a very risky business because the more you spoof, the more you in actual fact approach the wingularity, and you are in real danger of being drawn into the event horizon, nevermore to emerge. Play at your own risk. Consider the sad case of BOB.
Gus
I see batshit wingnut gibberish like that all the time in the comments of my local papers. People really believe that shit. They don’t understand it, but the believe it.
x
I guess we can be reasonably sure Shep Smith didn’t write that.
DougJ
Me, Demi, Walker…
Litlebritdifrnt
Peak wingnuttery has almost been reached over at many of the birfer blogs (I do say almost though), where in a sudden revelation of complete and utter stupidity they believe that somehow by Berg suing Orly (the birfer cage match) that one or either of them will be entitled (and suddenly have standing) to obtain Obama’s records from everywhere (including his passport records from Kenya, Pakistan, Britain, Indonesia etc., etc.,) Oh and Ed Hale from Plains Radio has the Kenyan birth certificate in a bank vault but refuses to show it cause the FBI threatened him and Orly’s posters are demanding police protection for her every move, and Wingnutdaily is wondering why the listing for Obama’s “certified” Kenyan birth certificate on e-bay keeps getting removed and they think it is a big conspiracy. You guys really ought to get out more.
PurpleGirl
DougJ — Thanks.
It hit me that PeakWingnut can’t exist, they just seem to get crazier and it approaches but doesn’t quite reach a peak point. The crazy just keeps going on.
And then I heard a voice from my past… asymptote, asymptotic expansion…. the professor could never spell it correctly, but I did and corrected his papers as needed.
SFAW
The attempt to reach “Peak Wingnut” is sorta like Zeno’s paradox – they’ll never reach it.
jl
@PurpleGirl: Then there would be a well-defined limiting peak wingnut, and the observed peak wingnut at anytime becomes increasingly indistinguishable from the limit value.
We can do about the same in terms of sequences and infintesimals.
So, either way, are we getting there yet?
Added in edit: but what if it is a vertical asymptote -and wingnut intensity starts to increase without limit, going towards infinity in finite time? But, what if all of our wingnut dials and meters get all busted so no one can agree on how too measure the wingnut.
Rapidly evolving wingnut might not be describable, using current scientific knowledge.
SFAW
Do you really want to admit you’re a mathematician?
Litlebritdifrnt
If this is a duplicate post then I apologise however. Peak wingnut has almost been reached at the birfer blogs (I say almost) where they are saying that since Berg sued Orly (the birfer cage match) that either of them will now have a chance (or standing even) to get Obama’s records (including his passport records from Kenya, Pakistan, Indonesia, Britain etc.,) and people are requesting police protection for Orly (Lady Liberty) cause she is in fear of the Obots, and WND are wondering why an e-bay listing for a “certified” copy of Obama’s Kenyan BC is being removed (four times so far) and it is all a big conspiracy. You guys ought to get out more.
Montysano
Eh… I give the commenter a solid 7.5 out of 10. A decent effort, but no mention of the birth certificate, no intimation that Obama is a Muslim, no pimping of “the greatest health care system the world has ever known”, and only one misspelling.
Enceladus
I’m sure that’s the kind of comment that makes Mr. Kurtz, who is very dim, think to himself: “See? I get criticized from both sides. That must mean I’m doing this journalism thing juuuust right.”
PurpleGirl
jl — thanks, but now we’re getting to the areas where I don’t understand mathematics. I see things in English language forms and not mathematical equations. I’m remembering how asymptotes were explained to me by one professor whose work involved them and for who I typed for regularly.
But I don’t think we are getting to peak wingnut, it’s so close but always just out of reach. They keep getting crazier and crazier.
jl addition — lol. yes, I think a vertical one would propel it much faster and make it harder to describe
r€nato
this space intentionally left blank.
Dennis-SGMM
Funny, I don’t even think of wingnut as having a peak, I think of it more as a black hole of stupidity whose ever-increasing density prevents the escape of any coherent thought.
Yutsano
That would equate it to a singularity with an event horizon after which one could not escape. I’d buy it except John is living proof that it can’t be like that.
Litlebritdifrnt
Have I been banned or something?
Litlebritdifrnt
Obviously I have. Oh well.
Nellcote
peak wingnut=spontanious combustion.
Keep an eye on the burn wards.
gbear
PeakVT@10: will people like this start getting the
treatmentRE- education camp experience they need and stop posting stuff like this on the Internet?Bachmann and Beck know it’s coming.
gbear
As long as Ann Coulter’s face is at the top of this thread, I feel compelled to go OT and post this clip:
Adam Corolla hangs up on Ann Coulter
Just sooo satisfying.
edit: Oops, Coulter’s gone from the top of the page, but I’m sticking with this clip anyway. She’s such a dick.
Delia
You are talking about the Wingularity phenomenon, the physics of which has been well explicated on this very website. Somebody should probably get a Nobel for the work, actually.
burnspbesq
@jl:
For the same reason that working-class Catholics and working-class Protestants in Ulster fought each other instead of the English for centuries: they’ve been lied to for so long that they’re no longer capable of figuring out where their self-interest really lies.
devopsych
Just don’t look into Bachmann’s eyes. Use your shield as a mirror.
Anton Sirius
@Nylund:
Of course Howie’s part of the left’s propaganda machine. The left is in power right now.
If and when the right returns to power, then he’ll be part of their propaganda machine.
gbear
OT again:
Fort Worth Gay Bar raided on 40th anniversary of Stonewall
Because patiently waiting for our rights without getting pissed off or making waves or maybe getting mad at the wrong people now and then has gone so totally beautifully fucking well.
One of the people arrested suffered a fractured skull.
Anton Sirius
@SFAW:
This is a much better model, since when you examine it more closely Xeno’s Paradox is itself batshit crazy.
Anton Sirius
@jl:
…is an oxymoron.
gex
@gbear: Well, those damn gays were guilty of public intoxication in a bar. God-fearing straight Texans would never do such a horrible thing. Think of the children!
Anne Laurie
“Don’t let him die a virgin, but take him out of pity?”
YellowJournalism
@gbear: That. Was. Awesome.
Mike G
Why would mostly poor and middle class losers who are among the most ripped-off be so protective their ripper-offers?
“You’ll never get away with giving me health coverage,
you…you SOCI ALI ST!!”
ninerdave
Nah, spelling and grammar are (mostly) correct. Not enough caps either. I’m thinking spoof.
Xenos
Why the hell have wingnuts decided that Politico blog comments are some sort of preferred battleground for winning the internet? Politico is the dullest sort of center-right conformist commentary. Maybe it is all about making sure the ‘moderates’ stay within discursive parameters, all about disciplining their own side.
Still, the bitchiness and delusions are breathtaking.
Spoofdar
You tacidly work for the Democrat/Marxist Party too.
Brick Oven Hank
“President Barack Obama said he was deeply concerned by the events in Honduras and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton condemned the action taken against Zelaya. A senior U.S. official said Washington recognizes only Zelaya as president.”
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
DougJ you fuckstick leftist pinhead.
You couldn’t tell the difference between beef jerky and a climate change bill. Or for that manner, the difference between Lieutenant Worf and the First Lady. Oh wait, Lieutenant Worf did not spend a weekend strolling around Paris on the taxpayer dollar buying ice cream in some stupid-looking blouse.
God does not have a birth certificate, but God does not need one. UNLIKE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
mclaren
That wacko original screed was funny enough, but the comments today are even better. From “Obama could heal the sick and fix the economy, but instead he uses his magic powers to make Republicans cheat on their wives” (LOL) to “So if a real, honest-to-goodness health care reform act is passed and a comprehensive health care system set up, will people like this start getting the treatment they need and stop posting stuff like this on the Internet?” (a hit! A palpable hit!) to “whatever space that their wheel of crazy conspiracy landed on at the moment…” (I’ll take black helicopters for 250, Bob) to “The will to authoritarianism is strong in them, Luke” (image of Karl Rove gloating “You can’t imagine the power of the Dark Side!”)…
Classic thread.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Just how much will the Democrats have to fuck up before the kinds of people backed by this spoof get back into power? CAN the Democrats fuck up that much, or by the time they do will we have some new opposition party rising from the Republican Party’s ashes?
Michael
Sorry, as the East German judge, I only award it a 3 out of a possible 6, for missing the Triple Lindy element of a combination birth certificate/daddy was a furriner argument.
Its a 3 point deduct.
Roza
“all think that Marxist Obama is the Messiah
who can walk on water …”
yeah but can he moonwalk ?
JGabriel
Yutsano:
Think of John as one of those rare particles that escape due to Hawking Radiation.
.
A Mom Anon
So does this mean if we ever get decent health coverage in this country that wingnuts won’t accept it? Because if that’s the case,it would help the rest of us in alot of ways. Less cost,less burden on the system,etc.
pika
I was in a Wal-Mart the other day buying compact fluorescent lightbulbs. A man who sort of looked like Phil Gramm, apparently ignoring the inexpensive regular lightbulbs behind him, walked in front of me, looked at the CFL prices, and exclaimed, “Jesus Christ. YOUR fucking government at work!” He walked away muttering. I would have suspected spoof had I not seen this.
geg6
Speaking of wingnuts who make no sense whatsoever, has anyone read Ross Douchehat’s column today? And if you have, can you please explain to me what the hell his point is? I’ve read it twice now and I still can’t figure out if he’s telling those of us with edumecation to go out and fuck like bunnies or if celebs and politicos are just better at it than we are. Or something I have completely missed altogether. Either way, for someone who has written extensively about how he saves his male essence from the depredations of chubby Reese Witherspoon types, the guy sure has been obsessed with sex since graduating to the NYT op-ed page.
kommrade reproductive vigor
No mention of roaming squads of gay abortionists taking zygotes by force. I can only grant a 7.9.
@Ash Can: No, because someone will always have a friend of a cousin of a guy who fixes their neighbor’s lawn mower who had to wait a whole month to get a doctor’s appointment or some other Islamosocialist inflicted atrocity that would have NEVER EVER EVER EVER happened under RealAmerican(R) health care.
Man, if I were a HIP exec. I would not be able to stop laughing. It must be like watching cattle fight to be first in the slaughterhouse queue.
kommrade reproductive vigor
p.s. The s o ci al 1st mod. block is bloody stupid.* I just hope I get to see what happens if a drug company creates a pecker perker-upper that contains the word “the” somewhere in the name.
*The s h o e s mod. block is fucking stupid.
harlana pepper
I, for one, am sick and tired to DEATH of being called a s o c i a l i s t! Do the fuckwads who have drilled holes in this guy’s skull and poured logic-acid all over his brain, realize that every time they insult progressives (also, apparently, all Dems = progressive), they are insulting us all (including moderate Dems who don’t know the difference and who apparently they think they can sway – NOT)? Major turnoff. I realize this is just a random, wingnut blog comment, but we hear it everywhere. NO, it’s not only going to turn us off, it’s going to make us close down to everything you say, lying-ass fuckers (and not just Fox). These days, I just look at the source, if it’s something like the AEI or just about any republican leader, I just switch the channel.
kay
@geg6:
Celebrities and politicos are better at it than we are.
I see Mr. and Mrs. Sanford gave another exclusive to the AP, wherein they insist their only goal when contacting media is to protect their children from the media glare.
Mr. Sanford mentioned he went running on the beach with his son yesterday. Just so you know.
I’m worried about Mr. and Mrs. Sanford’s character, I really am.
I gotta hand it them, though, this is pretty slick for South Carolina. John and Elizabeth Edwards could learn from these two.
chopper
snuh. its good, but its not that good. it needs to quote the bible and add a few nudge-nudge bits about ‘ending this false prophet obama’ or some such.
all in all i’d give it a 7.
harlana pepper
@kay: I guess they must really enjoy embarrassing themselves (can you say Sarah Palin?) As an SC resident, I really could care less about their pathetically repressed personal lives.
I just want to know one thing, when is King David going to resign . . .
kay
@harlana pepper:
I have to admit, I’ve been wary of both Sanfords, so that’s where I’m starting from. I don’t buy either of them.
This looks to me like an orchestrated political strategy. That may be unsympathetic, and I know I’m really, really mean, but that’s what I think.
She ran his campaigns. It looks to me like she’s running a different kind of campaign, and it isn’t directed at us, harlana, or even you as a South Carolinian, it’s directed to their very specific religious base, and the easy-to-dupe national media.
They make the Edwards look like high school kids.
Chinn Romney
My favorite wingnut spoof is ‘James Marsden’ over at QandO. You can almost feel the spittle hitting your face as you read. Most excellent. If he was serious then he would have been locked in a rubber room by now.
jrg
Whenever I read a semi-literate rant like this, I think of when I was in first grade and wrote “pussy” on the bathroom wall. At the time, I had no idea what the word meant, but I knew grown-ups thought the word was bad, and I felt like a grown-up when I used it.
Political Pragmatist
@harlana pepper: We are on the same page. I blogged about this very thing today. I think the falling ratings of the media are symptoms of the general population turning off the right wing obstructionism.
Saying NO to everything is not a strategy, nor is name-calling, to which they are ever-sinking to new lows.
Clap Louder
Thanks to Balloon-Juice for the title, which I properly acknowledged.
DZ
Peak wingnut would be coup d’etat