No links. Just guess. Who is a big enough hack that they could write the following:
Porkulus has utterly failed, as has the Obama administration’s fiscal policies. Businesses have conserved capital in the face of massive new taxes and costs associated with Obama’s stated fiscal policies, such as cap-and-trade, foreign-income taxation, and the higher interest rates that will spring from the massive deficits Obama plans to create. The capital necessary for growth won’t appear in the market under these conditions, as we have clearly seen. When will the media begin to hold this administration responsible for Obama’s economy-killing agenda?
Place your guesses in the comments.
Silver
Jonah Goldberg?
Michael D.
Brick Oven Bill?
BethanyAnne
I’ma vote Malkin.
spudvol
That weird guy from The Smiths?
Original Lee
Cavuto?
Egilsson
It’s stupid enough to come from either the National Review or RedState.
Kudlow?
anticontrarian
i was gonna say karl rove, but i don’t think he’d use the word ‘porkulus’ for some reason, so i’ll say the guy from red state, erickson.
geg6
Rove, sounds like him to me.
Michael D.
Ahhh, now that I looked it up and know who it is, it doesn’t surprise me even a little bit.
b-psycho
I’m thinking Larry Kudlow. Does he still write for NRO?
Aqualad08
That’s gotta be Ed…no one else could be THAT blind to the last 8 years…
Ambergris
Lol, this article is up for 2 minutes and my 2 candidates are already taken (Malkin, Goldberg).
Ash
Crazy Eyes Bachmann, under her Michelle Malkin pseudonym.
ACK
Ed Morrissey is my guess.
cynicalbrit
My guess Erik Erikkson.
A Mom Anon
I’d say the malkinbeast or one of the confederacy of nitwits at Red State. It’s so hard to choose.
Death By Mosquito Truck
Michael Kinsley
BDeevDad
@Michael D.: Ditto
lawnorder
Porkulus ?
Malkin
Johnny Pez
I cheated by googling. Keywords were “porkulus conserved capital”, and the quote was the third one down.
Alan
I don’t read the RW blogs much anymore. But isn’t “porkulus” a term used by Hotair….
Yep, it’s Capt. Ed.
Keith
The only ones I know of who consistently refer to the stimulus as “porkulus” is Limbaugh and Malkin. But as Limbaugh doesn’t generally write stuff, I’m going with Malkin.
Legalize
The Malkin Thing
DougJ
Greg Mankiw.
cynicalbrit
Looked it up and I was wrong. Have to say a wingnut I am not familiar with.
Death By Mosquito Truck
Words are stupid.
NY Texan
No one’s guessed Erickson yet? C’mon!
Adrienne
Ok. Process of elimination time:
It’s written so that leaves out the usual wingidiots: Beck, Limbaugh, Bachmann, et al.
While it’s written, it’s not editorial material (too obviously and blatantly biased) so not any of those suspects either: Krauty, Will, Kristol, et al.
So that leaves bloggers. It doesn’t have the self exalting groove of the NRO, not shrill enough to be Malkin, and not vindictively outrageous enough to Hewitt. It’s also not historical linky/proofy enough for Jonah, soooo I’m thinking either RedState – although I doubt it because it doesn’t have the air of living in a craptacular fantasyland that is a necessary component of all posts over there – or AllahPundit/Ed Morissey (really…what’s the dif? but I’m leaning toward Ed) over at HotAir by virtue of the hacktastic assault on “the media”.
Crashman06
My money’s on Erik Erikson.
NY Texan
Ok, you guys are right, in retrospect the correct poster is a more natural fit for that particular brand of stupidity.
Ecks
Naw, Malkin doesn’t normally go in for the faux economics jargon does she? This sounds like someone pretending to understand about capital flows and such.
Death By Mosquito Truck
Why can’t we get that hawt flirt2fling.com ad here, John? Why do we never get anything nice?
Sigh Clone
Yeah, my guess has to be the unimaginatively named Eric Erickson from RS for this one. I’d put money on it.
Gus
I’m with the Erickson voters.
ronin122
I know the correct answer has already been said [I cheated] so I’m going make light guess it was a “moran” that loves to tea-bag old ladies while screaming porkulus.
eastriver
Atlas Juggs.
Laura W
Blow Scarborough.
Stooleo
Ace of Spades?
Confederate Yankee?
charlie
The eft aka Newt
Nindid
Adrienne is probably right on this, but I am going George Will anyway.
Dork
My guess is Joe Biden
Crashman06
@eastriver: Win. That should be a real porn star/movie name.
Rob
Ed Morrissey
ronin122
@eastriver: Oooh the main character of a libertarian-themed anal-rape-fantasy based porn movie? That will bring new meaning to “going Galt”
Death By Mosquito Truck
@Laura W: One request at a time please.
me
I did see an idiot-economics editorial from Jonah Goldberg in todays Chicago Tribune, so even if that paragraph isn’t from him, I’m sure he agrees whole-heartedly.
John PM
See, I was confused because I thought Porkulus now referred to Mark Sandford.
I cheated also and would not guessed correctly otherwise. At first I thought it was Jonah Goldberg because he had some piece of sh-t column that I read this morning. This paragraph was not in his column, although his column was almost as “enlightening.”
Edit: looks like me (not me me, but the commentor “me”) beat me to it. Now I am really confused.
Laura W
Breaking CNN News:
Drugs may have been a part of the reason Michael Jackson died.
At least the media is doing a “super crack” job of holding drugs responsible for Jackson’s self-killing agenda.
Dresslar
Looks like Special Ed is the winner.
adolphus
Sounds like my dad, except the quote didn’t blame the unions, the poor, liberal media, or the UN.
gnomedad
These guys don’t write essays, they write Mad Libs. Although perhaps we need to find a term without “libs” in it.
Laura W
@Death By Mosquito Truck: It’s
great funpretty horrifying for me to know exactly what you’re gonna say sometimes.fastandsloppy
I guess it was a beam of pure stupidity emitted from the poles of the wingnuttularity like X-rays emitted from a rapidly rotating black hole.
There is not authorship for this shit anymore. It is just memes being ripped away from the dying echoes of the last remaining coherent ideas in their collapsing wingnut universe being spat out into an uncaring void with ferocious energy.
Dork
@Laura W: CNN just wont let this go. They’ve basically become another E! Network with different letters and some fat obscene guy named Loud Obbs.
Libby
Hard game. The wingnuts all sound alike to me. My first reaction was Ed, but re-reading it, sounds more like the other guy at Hot Air.
Adrienne
So, I see I’m right!!!!
@ JC: What do I win?
chris
I was going to pick Donald Luskin, but I already appear to be wrong. Oh well.
slag
Cramer?
Bill E Pilgrim
I know the answer and I’ll give you exclusive access to it for only two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
The Raven
Could it be a Democratic Senator?
Death By Mosquito Truck
@Adrienne:
Free trial offer to flirt2fling.com
celticdragon
I was going to go with Instahack, but it isn’t snarky enough. EriK Erinkson it is.
Dennis-SGMM
Lamentably, the number of those denizens of Wingnuttia who would have written this is almost infinite compared to the number of those who wouldn’t have written it.
canuckistani
All the good ones are taken, so I’ll take a long shot and say K-Lo.
Adrienne
@Death By Mosquito Truck: What the hell is flirt2fling? I’m afraid to even look it up.
Brick Oven Bill
Bill Clinton?
Redhand
I immediately thought of Captain Ed.
scarshapedstar
Big Tent Democrat?
(I kid, I kid.)
slag
Honestly, though, is there much difference between them anymore? Has there ever been much difference between them? Isn’t their Borg-like nature the main thing that kept GW in office for eight years?
Evinfuilt
Thought it would have been something at NRO. I was utterly wrong. But in the end, a hack is a hack.
Dennis-SGMM
Sarah Palin, also.
Comrade Tudor
@Johnny Pez:
I tried that and the seventh link was to Townhall and a comment in Jillian Bandes article on Charlie Crist. You know the funny thing? I went to school with her, worked with her at the school paper. She’s a DFH all the way, Clownhall is being duped.
Tim F Too
I’m sure every GOP member of congress is on TV today making the rounds. These people do nothing but prey on the ignorance of typical Americans.
They go on TV and say “The Stimulus Package is killing America and costing jobs. See, look at the job loss figures!” and the typical American gobbles it up. They create this false causation that does not exist, yet sounds credible.
It is easy for them to say that because they know in order for the Obama people to make their case, they would need to hold a Macroecon 101 course for America and that’s just not feasible.
You shouldn’t be able to graduate high school in America without knowing this equation: Y = C + G + I + (Ex-Im)
El Bandito Blancito
I didn’t see that Meghan McCain was taken, so I’ll take her.
Although the number of polysyllabic words in there indicates that I’m probably wrong.
vince
k-lo?
Bulworth
I can’t believe no one is suggesting one of the unholy trinity from TIME magazine’s “blog of the year”, Powerline. I’ll put my vote in for one those white dudes. Probably the one that wrote about what a wonder George W. Bush’s brilliance was.
amorphous
Nailed it! Do I get to room in the Captain’s Quarters for the night?
TimO
The Porkulus suggests M. Malkin but all the High Falootin financial analyis suggests Jesse Malkin.
I’m picturing M bent over chair typing while Jesse dick-tates.
All that Obama bashing is like Spanish Fly to Our Lady of Justifiable Internment.
TenguPhule
All of them.
You know they just crib it from the same sheet.
Da Bomb
My guesses are
1. Michelle “Boogie-Down Productions” Malkin
2. That dipshit from Hot Air
3. or that Erickson fellow
Comrade Tudor
@slag:
I think that’s the fun of guessing. BTW, I’m going to go with Andrew Blartblart. Big Hollywood is BIG I tell you!
Mark
Whoever the writer is, he or she obviously did not run it by a copy editor.
” …as HAVE the Obama administration’s fiscal policies”
So I doubt that this appeared in any sort of print publication.
Brian J
It’s reasons like this that I rarely, if ever, check out conservative blogs. Say what you want about the political ideology expressed on liberal blogs, but the mainstream ones, like Kevin Drum’s, never say stuff this ignorant and stupid. Even if the temper reflected in a post is hot, it’s always based in reality.
mno
ed morrisey, who else.
Mojotron
did anyone else get the (apropos) “Clown Business School” GoogleAd link next to this story?
freelancer
Cap’n Ed. Definitely Cap’n Ed.
Tsulagi
“Porkulus” is a dead giveaway. Has to be the Queen of Scream Malkin or one of her subs.
amk
Steele, da man ?
The Other Steve
Glenn Beck? No mention of the Constitution and Baked Beans though.
TimO
LOL #42 Dork Said “Joe Biden”
I love that! bwahahahahahahah!
bayville
Tim Russert?
Laura W
@Dork:
That’s great. Sean Connery-style on SNL’s Celeb Jeopardy.
sgwhiteinfla
Porkulus gives it away.
Michelle Malkin hands down
OC
Limbaugh’s ass? No wait, it can’t write but it does have a gravitational field of it’s own.
D-Chance.
I stopped reading after the first word. “Porkulus” is a Malkin copyright.
Comrade Stuck
Jim Cramer
in canaduh
malkin
matoko_chan
My guess is the Queen of the Teabaggers.
Steve Balboni
My hope is that prominent bloggers have finally taken note of Denver Post wingnut blogger extraordinaire Ross Kaminsky.
Failing that though I’ll say it was Kudlow given the faux-economic/intelligentsia writing.
Here’s some Kaminsky for you all,
http://www.politicswest.com/blogs/gang_of_four
asiangrrlMN
Damn. All of my ideas are taken. So I’m just gonna toss out the other botoxed Pam. The one who used to be BFF with Little Green Tomatoes or Footballs or whatever, but is now frenemies with him. Or, just enemies.
Or maybe Ann Coulter.
Damn. I was wrong, but it makes utterly perfect sense.
I should have read the comments more carefully.
tammanycall
DougJ. (Too easy.)
Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)
Porkulus? I’ll go with Les Claypool.
freelancer
…gonna hafta be more specific with #2
pcbedamned
I knew it was Cap. Ed as soon as I saw it, having been a regular over at HA. You wanna see some real class, check out the comments on the “Let’s Try to be More Civil Than the Left…”.
asiangrrlMN
@Steve Balboni: Gah. I clicked on your link before reading your comment. Now, I have to go rinse my eyes out with lye.
Faux News
Paul L. ?
EEH
@Steve Balboni: I so wish that I hadn’t clicked on that link. I read the print edition of the Post, I didn’t know that they had such dreck on-line.
gopher2b
Don’t know but can I reiterate my love for mass generalizations without any citation whatsover.
Comrade Stuck
I remember Cap’n ED saying in the days before his joining the hive, that the economic slowdown was going to be short lived and not effect the election. His crystal ball rests below Whale Shit on the bottom of the sea.
JenJen
Without looking at any comments or seeing if there’s an answer yet, I’m going with Malkin due to the Porkulus clue. By the way, I always thought “Porkulus” was the weakest effort at phrase-coinage ever. It’s stupid, and nobody gets it.
Looking forward to finding out who it was! ‘Cause that is some first-rate hackery, I’m here to tell you.
SGEW
Who cares? It’s so predictable that a mad-lib spam program could have written it.
These people don’t even try anymore.
parksideq
I’m late to the party, but I’m guessing it’s Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage, the one and only Malkinator.
Armando
Obviously it was not me. My guess – Donald Luskin.
Armando
I see DougJ tells it was Mankiw.
Well, not surprising from him either.
amk
OK, Cole. Drop the other shoe now.
El Bandito Blancito
I figured it out.
Joe the Plumber, FTW.
numbskull
Teh Google says it’s HotAir, but I’m not willing to give them a hit to find out which Hotty wrote it.
Broken
It’s Ed.
You can find it on Hot Air.
http://hotair.com/archives/2009/07/02/unemployment-creeps-up-to-95/
chuck
Markos Moulitsas
Brachiator
Without searching or reading the other posts here, I would guess Ed Morissey.
But I happened to unfortunately catch a little Limbaugh this morning, and see that this is becoming a running theme in Wingnuttia, that Obama’s fiscal policies inherently destroy wealth or redistribute it to the unworthy, and will hurt the economy — unless conservatives are allowed to ride to the rescue and restore do-nothing free market wisdom.
jrosen
KArl Rove
Max Peck
@Da Bomb:
Why would you ever dis BDP by putting their name inside or anywhere near that other name?
memory
My guess is it’s “Special Ed” Morrissey.
b-psycho
@Dork: You know the ironic, maddening thing about the coverage by the “real” news folks? They’re actually giving it more attention than E!
Last I checked, they were showing programming as usual. Hell, the same day that both CNN & MSNBC were still filling substantial chunks of each hour with Jackson news, E was showing a Kardashians marathon.
Fulcanelli
@asiangrrlMN: It was Fried Green Footballs, grrrlie.
Zuzu's Petals
John, you better hurry up and put up a track-back so you don’t get called out for being a lefty too cowardly to “tell it to his face.”
(And yes, I know it’s not TM.)
Ben
I want to say Malkin.
But given the taxation and market talk, I’m actually going to go with Grover Norquist.
freelancer
[Swish]
I wasn’t the first to call it, but hopefully I was the most obnoxious.
Mr. Poppinfresh
@lawnorder:
What he said. Porkulus is a dead giveaway.
Edit: ah, so it’s Special Ed. I guess he’s started using his new overlady’s lingo to help grease his descent into barking irrelevance.
racrecir
Heh, indeed.
BigEd
“porkulus” sounds like a cutesy word made up by an insecure thirteen year old girl…therefore – Malkin
Pete
It’s someone with a tenuous hold on grammar; I’ll go with Malkin.
Tax Analyst
I understand the Invisible Hand of Free-Market Capitalism has applied for a concealed-weapon permit and is planning to barricade itself in a stimulus-free underground bunker. Mark Sanford called and asked if he could sleep on the couch while he’s waiting to maybe fall back in love with his wife.
OK, so I’m off topic now, but I’ll just say that If and when he does (fall back in love w/wife) he’d better look down before he starts his fall just to make double-sure the wife is still around and willing to receive a do-over mulligan-fall. You almost have to admire his strategy, though. It appears his first words after each mea culpa have been to ask his wife if it’s OK for him to go see his mistress now. Ye gads, can you imagine trying to explain anything to this guy? “No, Mark – you put the toilet seat down BEFORE you sit down to go potty, not after, otherwise you either fall in or have to sit on the cold porcelain and then the toilet seat might come down and hurt your Mr. Pee-Pee.”
Speaking of Hands, invisible or otherwise, I wonder if the smitten Sanford has ever crossed over the line in a dalliance with either of his hands.
Malron
Since Malkin coined the term “porkulus” she/it gets my vote.
Bosch's Poodle
I would bet a teste it’s Kudlow. You can tell right off the bat with him, just as with the vile Jamie Kirchick.
johnosahon
its Ed Morrissey, who the hell is he. it took me 2 seconds to google and find ed whateverhisface
http://hotair.com/archives/2009/07/02/unemployment-creeps-up-to-95/
LD50
@johnosahon:
It was a trick question! Morrissey aping Malkin!
Ew.
Peter J
My guess would be for Stalkin’ Malkin cause of the ‘Porkulus’ bit.
Then I googled. I guess Special Ed is using it to please his mistress.
Urbaniak
Bosch’s Poodle: Dude, it was a contest. Thanks for spoiling it.
I was gonna say Mark Levin.
kamper
Cthulhu?
David
Hillary?
calling all toasters
Lester Maddox.
Dog is My Co-Pilot
Michelle Malkin. Isn’t ‘porkulus’ one of her favorite terms?
eastriver
I still say it’s Atlas Juggs. It might the wrong answer, but it’s certainly the funnier answer.
pattonbt
Rev Wright?
rum romanism rebellion
Jon Voight?
Batocchio
I guessed Malkin. I was close!
bob h
Boner.