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You are here: Home / Politics / Media / Not Spoof

Not Spoof

by John Cole|  July 8, 20097:13 am| 93 Comments

This post is in: Media

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Roger Simon, who recently informed us that Sarah Palin “held her own” in her debate (apparently by not drooling on herself), trots out the lamest piece of spin yet:

Sarah Palin is a sinner. She has violated several commandments and thoroughly deserves the savage beating that she is now getting from political mandarins and media elites.

She has done this by sinning, however. Let us list just some of the political commandments she has recently violated:

Thou shalt not surprise the media.

***

Thou shalt not upset the pooh-bahs.

***

Thou shalt pander to the few, not speak to the many.

Got it? In Simon’s starburst world, no one is wondering why the hell Sarah Palin has continued to quit every job she is ever elected to and opted to go fishing the last few days she is in office, all while refusing to call it quitting, refusing to explain why she is doing it, and refusing to explain what she intends to do. Instead, it is all just catty attacks by a surprised media who were caught off guard.

I’m a big fan of the “pandering to the few,” bit, because this gold-plated bullshit is little more than the notion that Sara is a real ‘Murican who speaks to the people, rather than just the elites. “She speaks to the people, not to the powerful few!” I’m nauseous. You can almost see Simon touching himself as he rushes for the front seat in the new and improved “Plain Talk Express.” This is why Dan Froomkin could never work for Politico and probably would never accept the job if offered- if he did, he’d not have enough time to write about anything other than his boss.

Christ. Can someone make a Blingee for Simon?

*** Update ***

A flashback. What you saw:

What Roger Simon saw:

Sarah Palin was supposed to fall off the stage at her vice presidential debate Thursday evening. Instead, she ended up dominating it.

She not only kept Joe Biden on the defensive for much of the debate, she not only repeatedly attacked Barack Obama, but she looked like she was enjoying herself while doing it.

She smiled. She faced the camera. She was warm. She was human. Gosh and golly, she even dropped a bunch of g’s.

“John McCain doesn’t tell one thing to one group and somethin’ else to another,” she said. “Those huge tax breaks aren’t comin’ to those huge multinational corporations.”

She went out of her way to talk in everyday terms, saying things like “I betcha” and “We have a heckuva opportunity to learn” and “Darn right we need tax relief.”

***

But if people thought she was going to look like a dumb bunny for 90 minutes, they were disappointed. She said what she wanted to say, and she was so relaxed she even winked at one point. Really! An actual wink during a national debate, when she said she was going to try to get John McCain to change his mind about not drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

She even winked! Really!

Good God. I remember when we used to make fun of Pravda.

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Reader Interactions

93Comments

  1. 1.

    GReynoldsCT00

    July 8, 2009 at 7:21 am

    Meh, forget it, can’t figure out how to link halfway through coffee…

  2. 2.

    4tehlulz

    July 8, 2009 at 7:24 am

    I now have “I Touch Myself” from the Divinyls in my head.

  3. 3.

    Comrade javafascist

    July 8, 2009 at 7:27 am

    If only there were some way we could, as a society, determine what the will of the many was. If only there were some method of validating Palin’s appeal to the many. If only it were a national enterprise, featuring equal representation and voice.

    For the want of a nail…

  4. 4.

    Xenos

    July 8, 2009 at 7:32 am

    Who are “the many” Simon is talking about here? I can’t read his stuff because nothing is ever defined or articulated in any way that allows for logical debate or anything like an honest inquiry into reality.

    I don’t know how freelance propaganda became such an industry, but I guess it can be accepted when wealth becomes so concentrated that becoming a toady to the king, or what passes for royalty today, is a preferred business model for personal success.

  5. 5.

    Napoleon

    July 8, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Now if you want a columnist with a better take on Palin either Kathleen Parker’s or Maureen Dowd’s columns of today are what you should be reading.

  6. 6.

    gypsy howell

    July 8, 2009 at 7:38 am

    He does have a point about kowtowing to the media, but his point misses the point about Sarah Palin.

  7. 7.

    Ted the Slacker

    July 8, 2009 at 7:39 am

    Good stuff, I’m also very impressed that Nana Palin is able to decry the media intrusions into her life before going on holiday with her family only to grant every network request to interview her.

    I guess that must break another media commandment, I must go read Roger Simon to find out which one.

  8. 8.

    IndieTarheel

    July 8, 2009 at 7:41 am

    Simon is nothing more than a court jester lacking self-awareness. Except that court jesters usually embedded uncomfortable truths in their schtick, and Simon wouldn’t know the truth if it starburst all over him.

  9. 9.

    El Cid

    July 8, 2009 at 7:42 am

    Poor, poor Sarah Palin.

    Hey, maybe she’d like to take this back now — seeing as how she couldn’t handle her “actual responsibilities”.

    “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities,” Palin said to an eruption of cheers. She was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (population: 9,780) from 1996 to 2002. Giuliani was interrupted with boos and laughter as soon as he uttered the phrase. “OK, OK, maybe this is the first problem on the resume,” he said, laughing.

    Buncha worthless, country-hating shitbags, the whole lot of ’em.

  10. 10.

    Ron

    July 8, 2009 at 7:42 am

    @gypsy howell: I think Maddow made a great point last night about the media. Palin hates the media so much that she, uh…invited the media to Alaska to talk about why she’s not a quitter.

  11. 11.

    gypsy howell

    July 8, 2009 at 7:48 am

    @Ron:

    Yeah, and I wasn’t aware of the fact that People Magazine apparently sets up photoshoots and puts people on the cover of their magazine without their permission. Who knew?

  12. 12.

    bob h

    July 8, 2009 at 7:56 am

    That Palin is discussed in these terms, taken seriously at all, is a sign of the degenerarcy and cretinization of our politics. We are a train wreck waiting to happen.

  13. 13.

    Jason

    July 8, 2009 at 7:58 am

    I don’t even understand who the audience for the Simon piece is. There are 700 comments though, so I think – between the Douthat piece and this one – that linkbait is pretty much the driving force in mainstream online journalism. I can’t think of another time in my life, for instance, when the response from the WaPo ombudsperson was ever expected or mocked.

  14. 14.

    dmsilev

    July 8, 2009 at 8:00 am

    Wasn’t Simon the pundit who, when presented with the results of the post-debate polls showing that most people thought that Palin had lost, said “they’re wrong”?

    We need a Pundit Accountability Project. I propose a corps of people who will stand behind each pundit, and whenever they say something that is factually false or idiotic enough to make a 3rd grader roll their eyes, slap said pundit in the face with a large wet trout. It’ll probably take a fair number of episodes of fish-slapping, but eventually, the point will be made.

    -dms

  15. 15.

    PaulW

    July 8, 2009 at 8:22 am

    Here’s an idea:

    Palin’s resigned. Let’s stop talking about her and talk about things that, you know, ACTUALLY MATTER.

    This goes for everybody. Sullivan, NRO, Wonkette, Digby, Mikey, Steve, and that guy in the corner. Yeah you! Just put the twitter away and no one gets hurt…!

  16. 16.

    kay

    July 8, 2009 at 8:23 am

    I’m going to look at the bright side. Palin bores the hell out of me, but as long as pundits are busy with Palin (like Sanford) they stay away from weighing in on substantive issues they know nothing about.
    They completely missed the energy bill, and that’s a good thing.
    We need another GOP governor to step up and distract them from health care. Maybe one of them will take a book deal in exchange for holding a crazy-ass press conference.

  17. 17.

    Woodrow "asim" Jarvis Hill

    July 8, 2009 at 8:24 am

    @Jason:

    linkbait is pretty much the driving force in mainstream online journalism.

    From the end of POLITICO’s leaked memo on how to write stories for them:

    If your friends or source are buzzing about something related in any way to public affairs, don’t ask yourself WHETHER it’s a Politico story. Ask yourself HOW you can make it a Politico story, to capture built-in traffic and mindshare.

  18. 18.

    linda

    July 8, 2009 at 8:28 am

    man, i’ve been waiting for his write-up on her latest; and he did not disappoint.

    there’s nothing more pathetic than middleaged men with high school crushes. simon is one of the creepiest of a very large collection of them.

  19. 19.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 8, 2009 at 8:35 am

    John, I’m glad you titled this thread “Not Spoof.” I was reading some excerpts from the Simon piece over at Media Matters for America and at first I thought MMfA had completely missed the point and that the quotes from Simon were just an example of broad sarcasm. But then I read further and realized he was dead serious. (I had forgotten his ridiculous post-debate defense of Palin, so probably my spoof radar was malfunctioning.)

  20. 20.

    Napoleon

    July 8, 2009 at 8:35 am

    @linda:

    there’s nothing more pathetic than middleaged men with high school crushes.

    Hey, are you talking to me?

    At least I keep mine to women I actually know who are plausibly available

  21. 21.

    Scott

    July 8, 2009 at 8:38 am

    I propose a corps of people who will stand behind each pundit, and whenever they say something that is factually false or idiotic enough to make a 3rd grader roll their eyes, slap said pundit in the face with a large wet trout.

    Most pundits like cold, wet, slimy things. I’d go with a large metal club. Or a bullet. That’d solve our pundit overpopulation problem right quick.

  22. 22.

    linda

    July 8, 2009 at 8:42 am

    @Napoleon:

    well, your fantasy life isn’t being offered up as astute political commentary…. ;-)

  23. 23.

    Xenos

    July 8, 2009 at 8:44 am

    @Jason:

    I don’t even understand who the audience for the Simon piece is.

    I think it may be Mika Brzezinski, or her producers, at least. I don’t know if beating up on Simon in the comments interrupts the propagation of misinformation, though. I wish it would. The Morning Joe producers have to justify their paycheck from GE each week, so I should not be so naïf.

  24. 24.

    DanJoaquinOz

    July 8, 2009 at 8:45 am

    Unfortunately, if somewhat predictably, Camille Paglia over at Salon spouts much the same sort of nonsense about St. Sarah – her allegedly triumphal debate performance with Biden, her unprecedented persecution by the “Northeastern Media”, her unfiltered authenticity, ad nauseum…

  25. 25.

    majkia

    July 8, 2009 at 8:46 am

    “Sarah Palin has continued to quit every job she is ever elected to”

    If only we’d been that lucky and Dubya had done the same…

  26. 26.

    linda

    July 8, 2009 at 8:47 am

    just looking at the search results for ‘palin, wink’ and found this — a lego interpretation:

    http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/77141

  27. 27.

    Jennifer

    July 8, 2009 at 8:48 am

    She even winked! Really!

    Yeah, really!

    I remember at the time being impressed that she didn’t flash her cooch at the national viewing audience, ala Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct or Paris Hilton emerging from a limo. All us feminazis know that’s how you ace the interview and get the job. I found her restraint in this particular to speak extremely highly of her dedication to being judged on her merits.

  28. 28.

    Xenos

    July 8, 2009 at 8:48 am

    @PaulW:

    Palin’s resigned. Let’s stop talking about her and talk about things that, you know, ACTUALLY MATTER.

    Palin does matter. She, and the political forces she is trying to unleash, present a serious danger to the functioning, even the survival, of this country. She is dangerous, and bears watching.

  29. 29.

    JK

    July 8, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Roger Simon is giving Dennis Miller a run for his money in terms of becoming the most repulsive and obnoxious defender of Sarah Palin

    Dennis Miller explaining why liberal women dislike Palin
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOeU24oWWV0

  30. 30.

    Napoleon

    July 8, 2009 at 8:55 am

    @linda:

    The guys who seem to do that seem to be at least 5 or 10 years older then me which I think puts them in a demo where women in the work place in equal positions were a lot rarer, and I wonder if that factors into how they view women.

  31. 31.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 8:57 am

    I hope the wingers keep her front and center, because non-wingers will never accept her as a viable choice for a presidential candidate knowing she couldn’t even fulfill her term as governor.

    This is just how they’re going to continue walking in the desert. I say good on them. ;)

  32. 32.

    Jason

    July 8, 2009 at 8:58 am

    @Woodrow “asim” Jarvis Hill: Hmmm. How do you clean vomit off a keyboard?

  33. 33.

    El Cid

    July 8, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Sarah Palin won the debates in the same way that academic debate clubs are judged by how loud each team yells. You always win a debate by being loud, whining, dismissive, and avoiding any question you don’t like, and by questioning the genuineness and real American-ness of the questioner.

  34. 34.

    Cat Lady

    July 8, 2009 at 9:01 am

    As ridiculous and pathetic as the pundits have been through the start of the Palin nonsense, I keep coming back to John McCain’s Original Sin of picking her without vetting her. That was the single most irresponsible political act of my lifetime, yet there he is most Sunday mornings being asked to opine.

    I’ve been praying to FSM that Steve Schmidt’s conscience is bothering him, because he REALLY doesn’t like her, and he’s presumably got the goods to drop her in her Naughty Monkey tracks. He’s got all of her emails, and her concession speech, because it was loaded in the teleprompter election night. And, she surely wrote that herself, because no one else on the campaign staff would have written it for her, knowing there was no way she would be allowed to speak. Just imagine the nuggets of fail in that thing.

  35. 35.

    Ash Can

    July 8, 2009 at 9:03 am

    I think we can write Roger Simon off on the subject of Sarah Palin. He has a crush on her, he sees in her what he wants to see and is blind to everything else, and he will say anything, no matter how blatantly ridiculous, to defend her. End of story.

    And kay has a good point. While all the pundits are running around in a tizzy over Palin (and MJ), other, more important things are quietly getting done. Hillary (you know who she is; she’s the one who can teach Sarah a thing or three about being in politics) is getting Honduran negotiations organized, Obama is getting US-Russian relations back on track, Conyers has Rove on record and under oath on the subject of the DoJ, and it even looks like Senate Dems–even Harry Reid — might be growing a pair on the subject of health care reform.

    Let the corporate media continue to wallow in the tabloid junk. If it means the pols can work with less distraction, it’s all good.

  36. 36.

    linda

    July 8, 2009 at 9:06 am

    @Cat Lady:

    bingo. that john mccain would risk the security of this country by selecting her for his own political advantage is one of the most unforgiveable things he’s ever done. and he’s got quite the collection of assholery in his political life.

    and that not one of the washington magpies — his true constituency — has bothered to remark on that.

  37. 37.

    Jay in Oregon

    July 8, 2009 at 9:09 am

    “Miller explaining why liberal women dislike Palin”

    Liberal women — which I assume Miller intends to mean “feminists” — dislike Palin because the GOP held her up as some kind of feminist ideal (and tried to bolster their nonexistent feminist credibility; remember “W Stands For Women”?), when she’s nothing of the sort.

    Also, she served as a lightning rod for sexist attacks from the left, which must have given the GOP a funny tingling in their pants when they rushed to her defense.

  38. 38.

    JK

    July 8, 2009 at 9:10 am

    John McCain’s Original Sin

    McCain’s original sin was his decision to run for president in 2008. The idea of 70 year old, 4 time cancer survivor running for president was just plain nuts. Regarding his decision to pick Palin as his running mate, I hope he rots in hell for inflicting her on the nation.

  39. 39.

    kay

    July 8, 2009 at 9:12 am

    @Ash Can:

    I don’t understand why Clinton doesn’t get more press attention. I think it’s really reprehensible. Part of “public diplomacy” is changing minds, and she can’t do that without any press.
    They were more than happy to follow her around like rabid dogs when it was all blue dress jokes and pantsuits, but now they can’t be bothered to analyze her actual WORK.
    If these Palin defenders were really worried about sexism and double standards they’d stop following Sarah and start following a powerful woman who actually does something.

  40. 40.

    anonevent

    July 8, 2009 at 9:14 am

    @Xenos:

    and bears are watching

    fixed

  41. 41.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:16 am

    @Ash Can:

    and it even looks like Senate Dems—even Harry Reid—might be growing a pair on the subject of health care reform.

    This could only be the result of the Senator Al Franken effect.

  42. 42.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:17 am

    @JK:

    McCain’s original sin was his decision to run for president in 2008. The idea of 70 year old, 4 time cancer survivor running for president was just plain nuts.

    You are correct!

  43. 43.

    Cat Lady

    July 8, 2009 at 9:18 am

    @kay:

    No titillation, no attention. They’ll sniff around Hill if Bill goes astray. BTW, what did they threaten Bill with to stay out of the news?

  44. 44.

    Ash Can

    July 8, 2009 at 9:18 am

    @Cat Lady: @linda:

    I still think that this was a function of McCain not being in control of his own campaign, which was the original Original Sin of the GOP campaign. McCain had the VP pick imposed upon him, and like a good Republican submitting to the authority of his betters, he went along with it. That in and of itself was the kiss of death for his campaign as far as I was concerned — if the person whose name is on the ballot isn’t going to be the one actually calling the shots, then fuck that noise.

  45. 45.

    asiangrrlMN

    July 8, 2009 at 9:20 am

    @Cat Lady: Double bingo. McCain is still being treated like an elderstatesman who has something of worth to say on a subject, any subject. He may or may not have wanted Palin, but in the end, he was the one who OK’ed her. He should have had to suffer some recourse for it, but he didn’t. Just like Sanford should have been made to resign, but he wasn’t. It’s ok if you’re a Republican, and especially an older white Republican man (to cheat, to make bad decisions, etc). The list is endless.

  46. 46.

    Redshirt

    July 8, 2009 at 9:22 am

    Let us not forget: The continued deification of Palin by certain members of the Village is all for the good of the country, actually: Let the Wingnuts create their reality, and live in it, in which Sister Sarah is a brave maverick unfairly victimized by the evil liberal MSM; let them live that “reality” and hope it is enough to get Palin the GOP nomination in 2012 — an actual possibility!

    Because with that nomination, the GOP will be finished. They will be routed in such a way as to finally bring down their rotted edifice — if such a collapse has not happened prior to 2012. The way things are going lately, that too is a possibility.

  47. 47.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:23 am

    @Cat Lady:

    BTW, what did they threaten Bill with to stay out of the news?

    They didn’t have to threaten him at all, they just had to buy him a copy of Air Fuck One.

  48. 48.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:26 am

    @Ash Can:

    Wrong, McCain talked about how he met and talked with her (for a whole 15 minutes) in a television interview. He decided she was helpful to the ticket and he made the choice. All anyone else did was find her and present her as a possibility. John McCain wasn’t solely responsible for headhunting the VP choice.

  49. 49.

    El Bandito Blancito

    July 8, 2009 at 9:28 am

    She has gone too rogue now, and we can’t come up with a word to describe it. “Mavericky” is too clumsy a description for her political savvy now, so I say think we need a new word.

    How about “Lone Wolf of Wasilla” or “Mustang Sarah?”

    There’s gotta be a better one out there….

  50. 50.

    Garrigus Carraig

    July 8, 2009 at 9:29 am

    I remember when we used to make fun of Pravda.

    My man.

  51. 51.

    geg6

    July 8, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Little Dreamer: and thus the reason we now live in The Al Franken Decade!

  52. 52.

    JK

    July 8, 2009 at 9:31 am

    @Cat Lady:
    @asiangrrlMN:

    There he is most Sunday mornings being asked to opine

    Being a former POW means never having to say you’re sorry for choosing a criminally incompetent running mate and for accusing your opponent of treason by suggesting that he rather lose a war than lose an election.

  53. 53.

    Cat Lady

    July 8, 2009 at 9:34 am

    @Little Dreamer:

    helpful to the ticket

    a/k/a Starbursts!

  54. 54.

    SGEW

    July 8, 2009 at 9:34 am

    Did you know who loved this article, by the way? MyIQ>u over at th’ Confluence. No, I will not link.

    What happened to those people?

  55. 55.

    SGEW

    July 8, 2009 at 9:41 am

    Crikey. Camille Paglia at Salon is asked “Do you still think Sarah Palin is ready for the big stage?” Here’s a roundup of her answer:

    Given her success with finalizing the massive Alaska pipeline project, I think Palin should have stuck it out, but of course she is master of her own fate.
    ..
    She does her own thing with seat-of-the-pants gusto. It’s why she remains hugely popular with the Republican grass-roots base — as I know from listening to talk radio.
    ..
    . . . prissy characterization of Palin’s performance at the vice-presidential debate as merely “adequate.” Hey, wake up — Palin cleaned Biden’s clock!
    ..
    As a Democrat, I detest the partisan machinations that have become standard in Northeastern news management and that are detectable in editorial decisions at major metropolitan newspapers nationwide.

    ?!?

  56. 56.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:42 am

    @El Bandito Blancito:

    How about Loser Palin?

  57. 57.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:44 am

    @Cat Lady:

    Any woman would do, starbursts were not necessary. Anything for the PUMA vote that was going to take them so far over the top.

    Bwahahahahahahaha!

  58. 58.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:45 am

    @SGEW:

    NoIQ was insane long before Palin came along.

  59. 59.

    4tehlulz

    July 8, 2009 at 9:45 am

    >>Camille Paglia

    Stopped reading right there.

  60. 60.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:48 am

    @4tehlulz:

    Me too. ;)

  61. 61.

    JK

    July 8, 2009 at 9:50 am

    @SGEW:

    Camille Paglia has also offered high praise for Rush Limbaugh. She’s someone who has forfeited her right to be taken seriously.

  62. 62.

    El Bandito Blancito

    July 8, 2009 at 9:52 am

    @Little Dreamer:

    How about Loser Palin?

    Redundant terms never catch fire.

  63. 63.

    Ash Can

    July 8, 2009 at 9:52 am

    @Little Dreamer: I disagree. I’ve seen no evidence that this “interview” was anything other than McCain covering for the fact that he wasn’t in charge of the VP pick. On the other hand, it’s been much better documented that he wanted Lieberman, the people actually calling the shots told him no, and he acquiesced. I do agree, however, that he was at fault — big fault — for not putting his foot down and running his own campaign.

  64. 64.

    SGEW

    July 8, 2009 at 9:53 am

    @Little Dreamer: I was talking more about the crazification period that occurred between late 2007 and early 2008. But I think you’re right, and that MyIq was always kind of batshit insane.

  65. 65.

    IndieTarheel

    July 8, 2009 at 9:58 am

    @dmsilev: There is no problem that well-applied Monty Python cannot solve.

  66. 66.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 9:58 am

    @Ash Can:

    Well, see it how you want to. I do agree that he wanted Lieberman and was dissuaded from that. The funny thing is, Lieberman probably would have gotten more Dem votes than the Palin PUMA angle did.

  67. 67.

    A Mom Anon

    July 8, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Are these guys(Kristol,Lowry,Simon,etc)married? If it was my “dude”,I’d be more than a little annoyed at this knight in shining armor bullshit. It’s more than transparent,she’s fantasy material for them. It’s really gone beyond fucking creepy now. It’s not about feminism in the least and for them to pull that crap does not a damned thing to make it better for women in any arena let alone politics. If they gave a shit about women at ALL they’d be building a platform that gave a damn about us.

  68. 68.

    Little Dreamer

    July 8, 2009 at 10:01 am

    @El Bandito Blancito:

    Well, whether it’s redundant or not, it’s still true. You’re looking at it from the marketing standpoint, I’m looking at it from the result of the ultimate truth.

    :)

  69. 69.

    Urbaniak

    July 8, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Shorter Roger Simon: How is what Sarah Palin did any different than Bob Dole resigning his 28-year Senate career to run for President? Am I crazy?

  70. 70.

    Mary

    July 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

    @Redshirt: I agree that keeping Palin up front as the face of the GOP is extremely harmful to them and you just know that they know it too. They deserve every bit of their ruination.

  71. 71.

    Xanthippas

    July 8, 2009 at 10:15 am

    You can almost see Simon touching himself as he rushes for the front seat in the new and improved “Plain Talk Express.”

    I don’t know about you guys, but lines like that are why I keep coming back to this blog.

  72. 72.

    Jay C

    July 8, 2009 at 10:23 am

    @4tehlulz:

    Really – who, in this decade, would even bother citing Camille Paglia as an authority for anything? Especially the lame “I’m a Democrat” caveat she routinely attaches to so many of her self-absorbed pulings: which in Camille-speak merely means: “I’ll claim to be Democrat so I can rip them new assholes over each and every policy: but it won’t LOOK too partisan”?

    Camille Paglia: still partying like it’s 1999….

  73. 73.

    gnomedad

    July 8, 2009 at 10:40 am

    I’m nauseous.

    Actually, Palin is nauseous. You are nauseated.

    To be honest, your usage is also acceptable, but I had fun saying that. Also.

  74. 74.

    Redshirt

    July 8, 2009 at 10:47 am

    I am enjoying all of this so very much. Talk about a great change from a year ago this time, when it was all HILLARY!!! all the time, and I had serious doubts whether Obama would be allowed to take the Dem. Nomination.

    A year later, peace and justice have been restored to the galaxy, and the party of evil undergoes one fail after another.

    It’s great. Also.

  75. 75.

    Mike in NC

    July 8, 2009 at 11:18 am

    McCain is still being treated like an elderstatesman who has something of worth to say on a subject, any subject.

    What’s in the Kool-Aid that he serves the Villagers at his famous BBQs?

  76. 76.

    Bubblegum Tate

    July 8, 2009 at 11:25 am

    the notion that Sara is a real ‘Murican who speaks to the people, rather than just the elites.

    That’s Mark Noonan’s masturbatorial hobby horse for this whole thing (he is, after all, going to run for Harry Reid’s Senate seat under the slogan “The People Versus the Powerful”). He’s got a truly hilarious wank up about it today:

    They hate her for what she is – which, by the way, is a woman. Sarah Palin is from top to bottom and all ’round the complete woman. And nothing ticks feminist “womyn” off more than a woman…especially one who actually does all the things feminists say that woman should do and does it with style. And nothing scares a metrosexual elitist more than a real woman, too. They know that Sarah Palin would be entirely unimpressed with whom they know, where they’ve been and what degrees they have…she’d want to know what they’ve done…actually done, as in make something happen or make something come in to being. Todd is more of a man than the top 100 MSM males…not because he’s smarter or better looking, but because he’s a man, plain and simple. Real women and real men get along together…and make the country work; and they are hated by the elites, because the elites are afraid of them.

    Did you catch that his worship of Palin even extends to the First Dude? Yeesh. But back to the fantasy:

    Just imagine a President Palin – having a state barbecue on the 4th of July with the folks from Wasilla just crawling all over the place and not a drop of champagne or an ounce of unpronounceable food to be seen. Just imagine her being talked down to by some State Department pinhead, and then tell him, “well, that’s interesting, but we’re going to do the right thing, instead”. Just imagine her taking the budget apart right in front of the American people and like the practical wife and mother she is, showing what sorts of filth are hidden away. It’ll be wonderful – and it’ll be great if it is her, one day. But Palin or someone – as long as we can get a real man or a real woman in there.

    Mark clearly needs to set his imagination-sights lower. For example, start by imagining that Sarah Palin is competent.

  77. 77.

    Joe K.

    July 8, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Wake up people! Could it be more obvious? Palin is Going Galt. We need not expect a presidential run, or any other productive activity from her, at least until the end of the Obamanation.

    OTOH she could probably achieve negative productivity if she actually ran…

  78. 78.

    feebog

    July 8, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    I like this picture:

    Just imagine a President Palin – having a state barbecue on the 4th of July with the folks from Wasilla just crawling all over the place and not a drop of champagne or an ounce of unpronounceable food to be seen.

    By all means, let’s bus down all 9,000 residents from Wasilla to Washington D.C. and let them crawl around on the White House lawn. Beer and moose stew for all!

  79. 79.

    Ash Can

    July 8, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    @Bubblegum Tate: Wow, that’s so thoroughly fucked up I almost feel sorry for Mark Noonan.

    Noonan has his own idea of what a perfect woman is, and Palin fits his blueprint. Fine. But then he goes on to claim that all women should fit this blueprint in order to be “real women.” And he implies the same for Todd Palin and “real men.” That’s not just asinine, since it’s so blatantly unrealistic, that’s authoritarian, which is at the core of today’s neo-conservatism. In addition, it reveals a fundamental interpersonal problem that many adults have, and not just right-wingers: he sees people as male and female first, and just plain people second. It should of course be the other way around. This may seem like a simple issue, but it’s a huge stumbling block in interpersonal relations, and dismally few people realize it.

  80. 80.

    noncarborundum

    July 8, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    @Bubblegum Tate:

    Just imagine her being talked down to by some State Department pinhead, and then tell him, “well, that’s interesting, but we’re going to do the right thing, instead”.

    I already imagine W having done this, for (un)suitable definitions of “the right thing”.

  81. 81.

    kabiddle

    July 8, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Doesn’t all this quitting, not showing up remind you of the behavior of another governor that went on to become President for eight years? You’d think people would know better after the last eight years, but look at the opinion polls out today — the Republicans love her! After 50 years I’m beginning to think there is a deep flaw in the American character that is going to make this nation flame out after a mere 250 years. Not sure what it is, but we just seem bent on self immolation.

  82. 82.

    Faux News

    July 8, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Mark clearly needs to set his imagination-sights lower. For example, start by imagining that Sarah Palin is competent.

    B-Gum: Noonan is yet another wignut for whom the movie “Idiocracy” is a future documentary of the Triumph of God’s Own Party (GOP).

  83. 83.

    LD50

    July 8, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    And if Palin got the 2012 nomination and only won 30% of the vote, Simon would STILL say she won over all the ‘real Americans’.

  84. 84.

    malraux

    July 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    Doesn’t all this quitting, not showing up remind you of the behavior of another governor that went on to become President for eight years?

    Bush was never really a quitter though. He was more of a “get daddy to bail me out” sort of person.

    Though really the difference between Bush and Palin is that W. was born into the Bush family. Were Palin the grandchild of Prescott Bush, then there wouldn’t be nearly the difference in their political trajectories.

  85. 85.

    ChrisB

    July 8, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    @LD50: Indeed. Why should the other 70% be allowed to vote?

  86. 86.

    Jason

    July 8, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    I like how Noonan’s commenters are all mocking him or Palin (except for the Defender of Progressive Honor there, at the end). I mean, why wait for the mockery to trickle down to S,N!, alicublog, and BJ when you can milk that cow yourself? Soon liberal blogs will only be read by conservatives, and conservative by liberals, and nobody will likely notice the difference.

  87. 87.

    Nellcote

    July 8, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    Can you imagine Camille Paglia interviewing Palin?

  88. 88.

    Zuzu's Petals

    July 8, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    I’m sure the people of Alaska, who she WALKED OUT ON, appreciate that she is now “talking to the many” instead of “pandering to the few” of them.

  89. 89.

    IndieTarheel

    July 8, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    OK, somebody help me out.

    Is it:
    Real Americans
    Real ‘Muricans
    Real ‘Murkans
    or Real ‘Mherkins?

    I want to make sure I get it right…

  90. 90.

    JK

    July 8, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    @IndieTarheel:

    Go with Real ‘Muricans

  91. 91.

    slavdude

    July 8, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Given the subject matter, wouldn’t a better title be “Not Spoo”?

  92. 92.

    LD50

    July 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    @Nellcote: It will probably happen in 2012.

  93. 93.

    Tehanu

    July 9, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    he sees people as male and female first, and just plain people second. It should of course be the other way around.

    No, no. He sees males as people; women are something not-male, ergo they are not people.

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