I took this picture earlier when I was trying to read and Tunch was making a ton of noise cleaning himself, so much so that I turned around to see what exactly he was doing:
Also, about a dozen or more people have mailed me this story.
Also, Lily rolled in something so foul and so dead that I had to walk an extra half mile to throw her in the river before I would let her back into the car. By the time I got home, I didn’t have any interest in cooking, so the mango will have to wait until tomorrow.
JK
Cats Do Control Humans, Study Finds
http://www.livescience.com/animals/090713-cats-cry.html
demkat620
That picture is extra Tunchy tonight. Also.
demkat620
Oh dear god, please get Susan Molinari off my tv. She is painful without the laryngitis. Now she is just horrifying.
John Cole
@demkat620: Just say no. I still have not watched any Sotomayor crap.
I’m done with the news for the summer. It is getting to be August and the silly season.
All-Star game tonight.
JenJen
Damn, our Lily sure has an affinity for rolling around in shit that smells bad. I’m so sorry John!!
(Did we dog lovers neglect to tell you that part about how gross dogs can be sometimes?) (Whoops)
As a Cincinnatian for whom the pain is still fresh, and for the love of all that is holy, please, please, please don’t let President Obama do this, because we’ll never hear the end of it:
Mayor Mallory’s First Pitch
used to be disgusted
Is it normal for dogs to roll in dead shit? I’ve never heard of this before, and I find it profoundly troubling.
demkat620
@John Cole: Oh yeah. Baseball tonight. I don’t much care for the HR derby but this I’ll watch. And then it’s on. Phils go for the repeat baby!
Silver Owl
It might be a good investment for you to keep baby wipes for Lilly. I learned to do that after my dog Kyri rolled in horseshit while hiking. No water near by and she was the only one who thought she smelled lovely. lol
Laura W
I’m shocked to not see one thing here today about TDS/Colbert coming back last night. Expected all sorts of spoilers. Of course, I’ve not read most threads. About to settle in right now for Stewart. And then Stephen. And then HUNG and Entourage.
Unless JenJen keeps distracting me. Then I might just drink wine and blather on more about girl stuff and boys.
JK
To any reader of Sports Illustrated, please be advised that baseball writer Jon Heyman is a goddamn fucking asshole.
Appearing on WFAN AM in NY last week, Heyman was asked his opinion of a salary cap for baseball. Heyman’s response delivered with great indignation: “You can’t have a salary cap in baseball. That’s COMMUNISM”.
Robert Sneddon
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8149051.stm
Wootton Bassett neighbours RAF Lyneham, the airbase which receives Britain’s fallen troops from various conflicts around the world. The town turned out en masse for the convoy of hearses bringing eight soldiers back from Afghanistan.
The political discussion in Britain is moving at last towards questioning what can be achieved by our military presence in Afghanstan as it comes up to the eighth anniversary of the first NATO troops going in to overthrow the Taliban.
LarryB
Only when they don’t eat it. Young dogs seem specially attracted. Maybe john will get lucky and Lily will grow out of it. Mine did, after a year or two.
jeffreyw
Local Kroger store had eggs on sale for 98 cents/dozen, so I stocked up. Decided egg salad would work to use some of them up, as I had some home made mayonnaise left over from BLTs at lunch time.
Boiled the eggs up and diced them into a bowl, added the mayo, some fine diced celery and red onion. Seemed to be coming together OK, but it was lacking something…
Bacon.
Ended up with an awesome bacon and egg salad. A few sammiches on toast and some cantaloupe wedges later, I feel ready to settle into a night of Netflix.
JK
@Laura W:
I thought Stewart and Colbert were big letdowns last night, especially Jon. They were given a goldmine of comedy material and I expected better results.
Laura W
@JK: Well Christ. Maybe I oughta fast forward thru the foreplay and move right onto Hung?
JenJen
@Laura W: (poke poke poke)
I’m off to watch baseball shortly so I won’t keep you all night. But did you happen to see this interview with my future ex-beloved, Matt, on Sam Seder’s show? HAWT. Oh, and also too, informative. Because I think that’s supposed to matter or something.
Re: Jon Stewart, I have but three words: DEAD QUITTY FISH.
Just Some Fuckhead
Good save.
Laura W
@JenJen:
I was just peeing (I do A LOT of thinking in there) and I think “intended ex” is what you need to start using in ref. to the future Mr. JenJen.
It’s strong and firm and implies that you totally intend to make him your ex.
JK
@Laura W:
For starters, Stewart did 2 segments with his guest Barney Frank. I like Barney Frank, but honestly I felt it was a waste of time. If I want to see that much of Frank, I’d tune into a real news program.
I’m not saying there weren’t funny segments last nite, but Stewart and Colbert were given 24K gold material and didn’t rise to the occasion in my opinion.
bellatrys
used to be disgusted:
Is it normal for dogs to roll in dead shit? I’ve never heard of this before, and I find it profoundly troubling.
Oh yes, I’m afraid it is. It may not be all dogs, but it’s common enough that all of us who have owned dogs, have developed coping strategies, including telling our various horror stories. (The horse pasture, the cow pasture…)
If you’re really lucky, they will eat the dead shit, too, and then come home, and puke it back up on the rug. And on you, while you are trying to clean it up.
Good times, good times – at least I’ve never EVER complained about stepping in a midnight hairball, ever since!
Spiffy McBang
Good christ. I think the new question now is, who the hell thought having a dog was a good idea in the first place?
Yeah, yeah, undying affection, etc., whatever. But goldfish shit can just get dumped into the sink.
Jay in Oregon
@bellatrys:
I may have related this story once before, but I caught my dog snapping up a piece of dog crap that one of my other dogs had left behind.
I actually chased her for about ten seconds before it dawned on me that it was a no-win situation — was I really going to scoop the dog crap out of my dog’s mouth to keep her from eating it? — and let it go.
And I’m extra-vigilant about cleaning up after my dogs now…
John Cole
@Spiffy McBang: Getting a dog in general, and getting Lily specifically, was the best decision I ever made.
Just Some Fuckhead
@bellatrys:
Give ’em time and they’ll usually eat it again. Dogs are gamers like that: maybe it’ll stay down the second time.
Just Some Fuckhead
@John Cole: If I was all in to me, I’d find the comment where I suggested you get a dog and the lifestyle that comes along with it instead of a second cat.
But I’m not, so I’m just gonna enjoy the moment with ya.
JK
Meghan McCain, Liz Cheney, ???
Which Republican politician will cable news turn to next to find a son or daughter whom they can build into an instant celebrity?
demkat620
Okay, so waiting for the All Star Game, I am listening to a minor league broadcast. They are discussing the Phils about to sign Pedro.
“Phils Nation is torn. They see this as a sign the Phils have no plan to go after Halladay”
Ya think?
I think its a bad idea. Pedro’s done. You get a rotation of Hamels, Halladay, Blanton, and Happ and you will be just fine. And your bullpen won’t blow up.
JenJen
@Laura W: Yeah, but I’m not willing to commit to that yet. I mean, what if the sex is really good, and he also happens to be a good cook?
I’m committed to not necessarily abandoning a commitment, I guess is what I’m trying to say.
ETA: Wow, I missed Tweety earlier telling Bill Maher that Southern Liberals aren’t DFH’s like Eastern Liberals, which of course means they don’t suck. Do you concur?
bellatrys
Just Some Fuckhead:
Give ‘em time and they’ll usually eat it again. Dogs are gamers like that: maybe it’ll stay down the second time.
Oh yah, ours used to always BELIEVE that maybe, THIS TIME the foam from the sofa cushions wouldn’t come back up… In fact, we had to stop Ol’ Blue (names changed to protect the guilty) from trying to slurp back up that dead, semi-liquified effluvia before we could finish mopping it up – gack, I’m feeling queasy now just REMEMBERING that, and it’s been almost ten years now – I need another local microbrew, I think, to settle my nerves if not my guts (speaking of stuff made from dead rotting organisms’ effluvia…)
I just remembered that there was a great Far Side on this theme, which ONLY makes sense if you’re a dog owner – the one where dogs are shopping at the dog grocery store, and every display has something for sale more disgusting than the last…
Laura W
@JenJen: You are totally Taiibi whipped already.
I can hear it in your posts.
I am too new here to speak to this issue.
(Was that an OK response?)
shelley matheis
I think Lily is planning to release her own line of fragrances. She’s just investigating some proto-ingredients.
My favorite way of preparing a pork roast is making a slather of fresh rosemary, garlic, grated lemon peel and olive oil. Chop fine or puree in the processor, spread on the outside of the loin.
Need any mint for that mango salsa? I got plenty.
bvac
Caught some of the Sotomayhem today. Man, I really want to take Sessions and Graham and knock their heads together.
General Winfield Stuck
Yup, it should be fun to watch the National League lose for the eleventy hundredth time in a row. that and listening to the interminable babbling of Tim MCarver. I shouldn’t say that, tim ain’t that bad and was great the night Deion Sanders poured ice water over his head./
bellatrys
Jay in Oregon:
I may have related this story once before, but I caught my dog snapping up a piece of dog crap that one of my other dogs had left behind.
I actually chased her for about ten seconds before it dawned on me that it was a no-win situation—was I really going to scoop the dog crap out of my dog’s mouth to keep her from eating it?—and let it go.
And I’m extra-vigilant about cleaning up after my dogs now…
GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s like when your kid is eating a bug or a slug – do you just look the other way? This is indeed a lose-lose sitch! We became much more diligent about cleaning out the cat box after we figured out what was happening to the turds, ourselves.
Tho the best/worst story I ever heard along this line involved a pair of Labs, one yellow and one chocolate, who went out to run in a pasture that unbeknownst to their owners had recently been manured by the farmer, and came back indistinguishable…
General Winfield Stuck
@Laura W:
If you ain’t a little nicer, I’m gonna ooze some yang.
John Cole
What if I’m actually Matt Taibbi blogging under a pseudonym? Will you all start chucking your panties at me?
JK
@JenJen:
The political philosophy of Chris Matthews
h/t ‘Hardball with Chris Matthews’ for Tuesday, April 28. 2009 http://rss.msnbc.msn.com/id/30476157/ns/msnbc_tv-hardball_with_chris_matthews
demkat620
My local fox affiliate is showing Seinfeld’s “The Puffy Shirt”
None could match the beauty of his hand. Lolzer!
Laura W
@General Winfield Stuck:
Excellent CD title! T.Rex-ish Retro!
Where’s BOB?
General Winfield Stuck
@John Cole:
Well, we kinda know the difference between a Ford Escort and a Cadillac.
John Cole
@demkat620: I’m watching that right now.
YOU BASTARD!
Laura W
@John Cole: JenJen would. I have problems with his teeth. I’m a dental snob.
The next-to-last samurai
Lily has mastered the basics of being a dog! I can’t wait to see her move on to the advanced stuff: hiding behind the sofa and farting until the air in the room turns blue, barfing on your new area rug, sneaking up while you are getting dressed and goosing you with a cold wet nose. The 2 of you are just getting started on many wonderful doggy adventures. We had a dog who found it very amusing to stick her nose in your ear and sniff loudly while you were asleep.
gnomedad
Just finished viewing Persepolis on DVD. Thanks to whoever recommended it.
shelley matheis
No. Classic dog is letting one go, then staring at your tail/butt with the expression, ‘What the hell was that?’
robertdsc
LOL.
demkat620
@John Cole: I could never be with someone who’s life is in disarray.
JenJen
@John Cole:
Obvs!! (And sorry, but I’m pretty sure it’s just me with the Unstoppable Taibbi-Crush.)
In other news, call me a big sap, but damn, I love watching POTUS Obama jawin’ with the ballplayers. Yay!!
JK
@John Cole:
John,
How do you feel about the winner of the All-Star game determining who gets home field advantage for the World Series?
I think it’s bullshit. The team with the better regular season record should get home field advantage for the World Series. If the 2 WS teams have identical records, there should be some logical tie breaking process to decide home field advantage.
demkat620
@JenJen: I know. I loved that. That was Ryan Howard with Fielder and Pujols. Damn that was schweet!
RedKitten
What’s even funnier is when YOU let one go, and your dog gets all perplexed-looking and sniffs its own ass, thinking that he did it.
You’ve got a loyal and large readership who are happy when you post four threads in a row containing nothing but videos of your sedentary cat. And now you want panties? Jeez…aren’t you the greedy one?
Laura W
I wish I had some ice cream. I’ve not had any for two months.
I am really in the mood tonight.
Sigh.
LD50
@John Cole: Nah, it’s a close second to when you decided to quit being a wingnut.
Litlebritdifrnt
@The next-to-last samurai:
This. Ever so this.
bellatrys
O.M.G.
Did anyone think to warn John about the necessity of keeping the litter box VERY well-raked post-canine-acquisition??
—BEFORE he notices and worries that Tunch seems to be strangely lacking in BMs?
kommrade reproductive vigor
Lily’s theme song.
If you remember the first time people dressed like this … wave your canes in the air.
SiubhanDuinne
Not enough people in this thread are acknowledging the wonderfulness of Tunch. That picture is wonderful. There is nothing wonderfuller than cats putting catspit on their paws. I love Tunch with all the wonderfulocity at my disposal. Tunchtunchtunchtunchtunchtunchtunchtunch I love to say his wonderiferous name.
SiubhanDuinne +2
Litlebritdifrnt
@bellatrys:Cat poo = dog treats. I questioned my vet about it once, he said “meh, cat food is full of protein, so is cat poo, leave it alone” he was not in the slightest bit worried that my dogs thought that the litter box was where we kept the “crunchy doggie snacks” while gross it is normal.
John Cole
@bellatrys: She doesn’t eat cat shit. I think maybe because she came from a home with 20 cats before I had her.
Besides, the morning ritual is:
A.) Start the kettle for coffee
B.) Clean the litterbox
C.) Brush Lily
D.) put boiling water in Bodum
E.) Brush Tunch
F.) Pour coffee, go sit on porch
G.) Vacuum where I brushed, and clean the HEPA in that room
H.) Rails to trails
John Cole
@SiubhanDuinne: Tunch really is much cooler than his photos.
bellatrys
John, that’s very good. You don’t KNOW how lucky you are, as turd-breath is WAAAAY worse than regular dog-breath. (I knew a dog that liked to help himself to horse-apples, both inside and out, and WHEW!)
OTOH, behaviors can develop in pets that were never seen before – even w/o bad examples, like the Pyrenees learning terror terrior terrier behavior from Ginny and Guesley – and you never know what your pets get up to in the wee hours (at least, until there’s a horrible crash and ruckus in the middle of the night!)
bellatrys
(oy, strikethrough worked in preview, darnit!)
josefina
@Jay in Oregon: Turd-burgling (canine variety) is the only disgusting habit my dear departed dog never developed. He was way into foul dead perfumes, farting farting farting, attending to elaborate personal hygiene (with SFX!) in front of company, snacking on Kitty Rocha from the litter box.
He also treated the streets and sidewalks of my then-sketchy neighborhood as a snack bar. Which is how I found myself in the middle of 10th St., trying to pry a very dead, very flat pigeon—a pigeon frisbee—out of his mouth.
God, I miss him.
Anne Laurie
Cat prayer service. Tunch is thanking the Great Bastet that some animals have been blessed with better taste than to roll around in dead shite. Or to bring home (“Look, Tunch! For you, a new friend!”) animals who think it is funny to roll around in dead shite. It was kind of… interesting, in a perplexing sort of way… the first few times. But if the bringing-home of dead-shite stinkiness is going to be a regular feature of life in the Tunch household, well…
Fortunately for poor Tunch, LarryB may be right. Once Lily’s had the chance to fully explore her Essential Dogness by experimenting with the full panoply of random dead shite, she may not find it quite so entrancing. Or at least, once the weather turns nippy, she may decide the fun of dead-shite-rolling isn’t worth the resulting cold-water full-immersion river baptism.
Lab Rat
I have no mango relish ideas, but can tell you that coating a pork loin in madras curry paste, wrapping in foil, and grilling is an excellent way to cook a loin. Slash the loin before cooking and work the paste into the meat. Remove the loin from the foil for a couple minutes at the end of cooking and place on the grill rack directly to sear the outer layer and get a small bit of crust. Yum.
AhabTRuler
Wait, you knew someone who kept horseshit in their house?
ETA: Or am I misunderstanding what you meant? Did the dog eat horse apples inside and outside of the horse? Although I must admit, that a dog burrowing into the rectum of a horse to eat shit would satisfy two disgusting dog practice requirements in one go!
kommrade reproductive vigor
All this political discussion is all right, I guess, but when is Tunch going to start his own blog?
hal
http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2178922
AhabTRuler
@hal: That site is a black hole of the internet: I canna escape it’s pull, I doon’t have the pooowerrrr!
Delia
In the summer my cats use the litterbox less and a few spots around the yard more. The dog systematically cleans up after them. I pretend not to notice what he’s doing and try my best not to smell his breath.
tim
Re Lily rolling in disgusting things: I was told by an experienced dog owner that dogs do this as a vestigal instinct. They are using the strong scent of the abomination in which they roll to cover their OWN scent when they are hunting other creatures. Of course Lily doesn’t hunt anything, but her DNA darn sure has her programed to get ready to do so.
passerby
Hang in there John. Pre-season Stillers are just a few weeks away. The time will fly by and there will at least be some football to break up the monotony of the silly season.
C’mon football!
freelancer
Oh. My. FUCK.
I just watched the Tweety segment with Maher and got nauseous.
Gawd, Fox News is obviously throwaway agitprop, but Chris Matthews is emblematic of everything that’s wrong with supposedly balanced establishment Media. Watch the first minute, but I dare you to keep it on through the 3rd minute.
And what’s with the goddamned wheezy nails-on-chalkboard squealing laugh? Oh I have a comedian on this segment, I have to try to out-funny him. DIAF.
EDIT: @COLE, The Start of silly season? WTF are you talking about? My entire adult life has been silly season. 5 more years and Python won’t hold a candle to oppo/media nonsense.
Mnemosyne
G. found two abandoned kittens at work, so now we have them locked in our bathroom and are preparing to give them a bath. Their power of cuteness is so all-encompassing that his asshole regional VP gave us $80 cash to help pay for the vet.
What’s sad is that they’re very clearly socialized to people. As far as they’re concerned, all of their troubles were over as soon as they found new people to take care of them. They’ve spent their day eating, pooping, and wrestling each other.
Our two older cats are trying to figure out what the hell is going on, but we can’t let them mix-n-mingle until they get a clean bill of health from the vet on Thursday.
JMN Is Now asiangrrlMN's Official Stalker
It’s almost time for annual shots, and I am so not looking forward to getting Eddie into the box. I’d say that he has an irrational fear of it, except that the last time he was in it, he came home with only three legs, so it seems pretty rational to me.
Morbo
@JK: He obviously has never read any of the posts regarding salary cap on LGM.
JMN Is Now asiangrrlMN's Official Stalker
Heymann’s an idiot. It still doesn’t mean that a salary cap does anyone any good, other than the owners.
anonevent
It is the AP, but if the story is true, the Obama administration is going after Jon Kyle for stating that he doesn’t think any more of the stimulus should be spent. They have written key Arizona lawmakers, including the governor, asking them whether or not the federal government should stop spending stimulus money on the state. I think they should do more of this.
bellatrys
Ahab T Ruler, sorry for the confusion – the dog would a) roll in the pasture, b) munch on the ones that weren’t now sticking to his shaggy coat, c) then try to sneak in the house without anybody noticing, which of course never EVER worked…!
asiangrrlMN
John, if you lived a bit closer to me, I might be seriously tempted to steal Tunch. What an awesome cat!