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You are here: Home / Politics / Religion / And Mojo Saw Him at McDonalds at Midnight

And Mojo Saw Him at McDonalds at Midnight

by John Cole|  July 20, 20093:25 pm| 102 Comments

This post is in: Religion, Wingnut Event Horizon

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Appalling story in the Politico that if everything went wrong, the bailout could cost 23 trillion dollars. Trillion with a t. And while that is horrifying, this quote from the story made me laugh out loud:

Still, the eye-popping price tag provoked an immediate reaction on Capitol Hill. “The potential financial commitment the American taxpayers could be responsible for is of a size and scope that isn’t even imaginable,” said Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), the ranking member of the House Oversight Committee. “If you spent a million dollars a day going back to the birth of Christ, that wouldn’t even come close to just one trillion dollars – $23.7 trillion is a staggering figure.”

They just can’t help themselves.

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Reader Interactions

102Comments

  1. 1.

    Zandar

    July 20, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Boy, don’t tell him how many atoms are in a dollar bill. His head will explode.

  2. 2.

    John

    July 20, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Ah, but the real question is this: how many dung beetles would you have to stack in a pyramid for that pyramid to be as high as a trillion dollars stacked in a tower? THAT is a truly staggering figure, my friend.

  3. 3.

    arguingwithsignposts

    July 20, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    i’m still here. talk to me. please. dark is getting darker. don’t know how to stop being depressed.

  4. 4.

    gbear

    July 20, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    $23 trillion would buy a lot of dinosaur saddles.

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    July 20, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    And yet, if you add up all of the idiotic statements spouted by all of the Republican lawmakers, it comes to well over a trillion units of idiocy.

    -dms

  6. 6.

    ed

    July 20, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    I’m guessing that Mr. Issa did not see Mother Mary at Roberto’s in El Cajon. Maybe on some French Freedom Toast, but Issa’s never even been to Roberto’s.

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    July 20, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Quickly! The only solution now is more tax cuts! And deregulation! We need to let the free market fix itself! And metaphors! We need more metaphors! About Jesus! And exclamation points! Also!

  8. 8.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    July 20, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    o/t cognitive dissonance thy name is Limbaugh. Today he was ranting about how great health care is in the US how all of these people from other countries (Canada and the UK) come here for treatment and not the other way around. Then he went on to extoll the virtues of the recently deceased world’s oldest man. Who of course managed to reach the ripe old age of 113 years in the care of the evil, soc*i*alist and totally broken and useless National Health Service in Britain. Rush you are a moron.

  9. 9.

    tim

    July 20, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    I don’t get it, please help me out: why does this guy’s statement make you laugh out loud?

    I do get that he’s a republican ass and not to be trusted, but still, I did the math and he is correct, yes?

    Please help me understand the joviality here. Thank you.

  10. 10.

    Punchy

    July 20, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Boy, don’t tell him how many atoms are in a dollar bill. His head will explode.

    Zero? I see an Abe, Benny, George, Alex, Andy, but no Adams.

  11. 11.

    A Mom Anon

    July 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    @tim:

    Maybe because he had to ram the baby Jesus in there somehow.

    How in the hell did they come up with the 23 trillion number? Besides thinking that would scare people to death.

  12. 12.

    SpotWeld

    July 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Science geeks (especially astronomy nerds) are one the few groups of people who can really get thier heads around big numbers (billions, trillions, etc..)

    As near as I can tell politicians just don’t worry about it, except when they can clutch pearls and makes proper gasping noises for the camera.

  13. 13.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 20, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Arguing with signposts: I for one am very glad you’re still here. I’m here too and so are Juicers everywhere. Given time of day in North America a lot of people may be at work and not able to write back right now, but they’re there and they will when they can. Me — I’m on the road heading back to Atlanta from Biloxi, MS, but I promise I will pull over every hour or so and check this thread and BJ threads going forward, and I want to see messages from you. It doesn’t matter what they say, just please please keep checking in with us. I hope it doesn’t sound fatuous to sign myself as Your Friend. See you back here in an hour or so.

  14. 14.

    Persia

    July 20, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    @tim: For one thing, they seem incapable of speaking in anything other than Biblical metaphors.

  15. 15.

    Persia

    July 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Call a doctor. If you don’t have a doctor, try Google or your yellow pages. I can’t help but there are people who can. It can get better. Good luck.

  16. 16.

    Crashman06

    July 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Hey! Good to hear you again. Slow day at work here. Keep fighting against it, Arguing. Do you have someone you can call?

  17. 17.

    chopper

    July 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    yes, a doctor. a hospital would work as well. as much as we can provide support, we’re just a bunch of people on a blog. actual medical help would go much farther.

  18. 18.

    MikeJ

    July 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Regardless of the idiocy of dragging jeebus into it, $23trillion is a bullshit number. Much of the aid is in the form of loan guarantees. Even if every single loan was defaulted on, there would typically be some asset that the loan was made to cover. Resale of the underlying asset would recover at least a portion of any losses on loan guarantees.

  19. 19.

    Tonal Crow

    July 20, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    If you arranged 23 trillion GOPers’ statements end to end, they would extend less than 3 angstroms toward the truth.

  20. 20.

    Dork

    July 20, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    @Punchy: $2 bill, bitchez. Back side with Tom Jeff.

    23 trillion dollars? Time to buy stock in green ink and watermarks.

  21. 21.

    chopper

    July 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    @Persia:

    i’m surprised they didn’t describe 23 trillion as multiples of ‘thirty pieces of silver’.

  22. 22.

    4tehlulz

    July 20, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Obviously, the only way to protect ourselves is through at $23 trillion credit default swap.

  23. 23.

    Ash Can

    July 20, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: I’m afraid to say much, because I’m no expert. But it seems to me that your condition is the same as a serious injury. If you were to fall down some stairs and hurt your ankle or knee badly enough that you couldn’t walk or put weight on it, you’d go straight to the emergency room. This too is a medical emergency. If you can’t take yourself, call someone who can.

  24. 24.

    RandomChick

    July 20, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Arguing, of course, we are all here and sending as much love and support as possible.

    Your posts are really starting to worry me though. It sounds darker and more long-lasting than just a case of the blues.

    I’m pleading with you to go to a doctor or even the ER today – right now. There’s only so much us armchair and laptop psychologists can do. You need someone face-to-face to help you through this.

    Don’t be embarrassed or afraid to get real help. We’ll all be here waiting when you get back.

  25. 25.

    John Cole

    July 20, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    @tim: Because it is just a recycled talking point from the stimulus debate. Additionally, it is just an idiotic unit of measurement- “if you saved a dollar every day since Jesus was crucified, but your friend saved a dollar every day since Jesus was born, how much more money would your friend have?” I’d argue that is a pretty silly way to quantify events around you.

  26. 26.

    Sean

    July 20, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Hey, a million dollars a day back to the beginning of the World wouldn’t even get you 23 trillion. Since we all know the Earth is 6000 years old, it would only get you 2.19 trillion.

    -S

  27. 27.

    EJ

    July 20, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Technically he’s right. A mil a day for 2000 years, give or take, comes to around $730 billion.

  28. 28.

    Zandar

    July 20, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    Obviously, the only way to protect ourselves is through at $23 trillion credit default swap.

    with Goldman Sachs.

    WIN.

  29. 29.

    Kilkee

    July 20, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Let me join the chorus of folks here suggesting you check into some professional help. I’ve seen some friends and family go through things like this, and it may be the rare time when it really is darkest before the dawn. The health care system is a joke in many respects, but there are miraculous things that can be done for situations like this. You should definitely check into them, take care of yourself, then get back here, where we enjoy your chatter.

  30. 30.

    kay

    July 20, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    @A Mom Anon:

    They took all the programs and guarantees and maxed them out, assuming no pay-backs.

    It’s a worse-worse-worse case scenario.

    I talked with the lawyer here who handles foreclosures for local banks. He says the recession is over. He’s calling it over. He called the melt-down as happening in 2008, beginning in 2006, he was yelling “fire!” for two years, completely without effect, so I’ve decided he’s as reliable as anyone, and deserves my full attention.

    I have lost faith in financial people and economists. I give up. I’m asking that one guy, and going with him. Next I’m going to poll the lady at the dry cleaners, for a “consensus”. She’s got a lot on the ball.

  31. 31.

    Tonal Crow

    July 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: I don’t know what to say, except that I’m listening. Say on!

  32. 32.

    stevie314159

    July 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    However, if you just took that $1 million on the day Jesus was born, and put it in the bank earning 3% interest per year, you would have well over $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Quite enough for any bailout.

  33. 33.

    Colette

    July 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:Do you have health insurance, and if so, does your plan have an advice nurse? Most do. Call the toll-free number on your ID card and tell them you want to speak to him/her. Please. And keep checking back with us; we really want to hear from you.

  34. 34.

    JGabriel

    July 20, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    John Cole:

    And Mojo Saw Him at McDonalds at Midnight

    Er, John, is anyone who wasn’t a college/alternative radio dj or listener in the early to mid-80’s going to get that reference?

    Of course, they should. But it’s still, unfortunately, a little esoteric, unless Mojo Nixon got much bigger than I remember.

    .

  35. 35.

    Comrade Jake

    July 20, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    From the article:

    The Treasury Department says less than $2 trillion has been spent so far.

    This whole thing seems like a setup, where we have Democratic Senators rushing onto CNN to tell Wolf Blitzer that “We’ve only spent $2 trillion so far!”

    Epic fail, all the way around.

  36. 36.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    July 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    If we had collected the gas from one million farts every day since the birth of Christ would we have collected enough fuel to get us to Mars by the 50th anniversary of the first lunar landing?

  37. 37.

    Derek

    July 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    I’ve often explained to my students that “a billion minutes ago” was close to the time of Christ’s life. It’s not a matter of having to work Jesus into everything, it’s just a good way of wrapping your brain around something really really big, like a billion seconds, or in this case, a trillion (with a T) dollars. Everyone knows approximately when the birth of Christ was… this *IS* the year 2009 AD after all.

    I don’t see cause for ridicule here. I think sometimes, I (and others like me, dear BJ readers) am guilty of a tendency try to make people on the other side look like stupid Bible-thumpers for no other reason than the “R” next to their name (as if that wasn’t enough). Even when they’re right.

  38. 38.

    jibeaux

    July 20, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    @EJ:

    That’s what I got. I dunno, I actually find frames of reference for big numbers like that helpful. Planet Money did some once, they were fairly surprising but really do help you visualize the size. I don’t find it wingnutty just because it involves Jesus.

  39. 39.

    John Cole

    July 20, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    @JGabriel: I doubt it.

  40. 40.

    Brachiator

    July 20, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    @tim:

    I don’t get it, please help me out: why does this guy’s statement make you laugh out loud?

    Because everyone knows that you could not possibly have spent a million dollars a day going back to the birth of Christ. You would have been totally wiped out by the massive fraud caused by Madoffus Bernadus Ponzicus in AD 281.

  41. 41.

    gbear

    July 20, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Just keep thinking that today is not going to be the day that depression gets the better of you. Maybe some other day but it’s not going to be today. I’ve been struggling with it myself for a while, but there’s always a reason that today isn’t the day that I want to make that choice. Not today. Some other day. Other than today.

    And some other day may bring some hope. We would all like you to be around to see that day.

  42. 42.

    Punchy

    July 20, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Technically he’s right. A mil a day for 2000 years, give or take, comes to around $730 billion.

    Yeah, but is this adjusted for inflation? Me thinks not. Can one of the 4,582 mathematicians on this blog make that calc and report back? Pretty sure the Romans weren’t spending a cool mill in gold ducats to get a beachfront condo in the Fertile Crescent.

  43. 43.

    JGabriel

    July 20, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    @Tonal Crow:

    If you arranged 23 trillion GOPers’ …

    … you’d have a galaxy sized Feng Shui of Suckitude.

    .

  44. 44.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    July 20, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    @A Mom Anon:

    How in the hell did they come up with the 23 trillion number? Besides thinking that would scare people to death.

    Here’s my guess, and I’m more than happy to be corrected.

    Recently, the economist Nassim Taleb said:

    “What makes me very pessimistic in not seeing any leadership or awareness on parts of government on what has to be done, which is deleverage $40-to-$70 trillion,” Taleb said.

    The $40-$70 is the value of securitized paper that’s floating around the U.S. real estate market. I’m betting that Henry “Don Vito” Paulson, back in the fall of 2008 when he was King of Everything, made some secret arrangements with the Wall Street banks, putting the taxpayer on the hook for some of this toxic shit. $24T is the worst case scenario.

  45. 45.

    jenniebee

    July 20, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    The only thing I want to know is, does that worst-case $23T include the cost of walls and bullets? Because if those fuckers have impoverished generations for the sake of reupholstering their private jets with Hermes scarves, I’m ready to channel a little Ralph Peters on their asses…

  46. 46.

    Dennis-SGMM

    July 20, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    One of the exhibits at the Seattle World’s Fair (1962) was a glass walled truck semi-trailer containing a million silver dollars. It was an amazing sight. I can wrap my head around a billion dollars by visualizing a thousand of those trucks parked in the desert somewhere. That’s it: I can’t visualize a trillion dollars.
    OTOH: If I had a dollar for every time a Republican said something stupid I’d be well on my way to my first million.

  47. 47.

    cleek

    July 20, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    A mil a day for 2000 years, give or take, comes to around $730 billion.

    or, roughly the current annual budget of the Defense Department.

  48. 48.

    RandomChick

    July 20, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    I don’t know, I’d say it takes some rhetorical skill to work Jesus into each and every debate. Credit where credit is due . . .

  49. 49.

    JGabriel

    July 20, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    @Persia:

    For one thing, they seem incapable of speaking in anything other than Biblical metaphors.

    And getting caught in extramarital affairs, don’t forget. Kinda gives new meaning to the phrase, “Fuckin’ Jesus Freaks”.

    .

  50. 50.

    anonymous

    July 20, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well.

    While I don’t know your exact circumstances, I’ve been there myself.

    I agree with those posters who think you should get medical help. As for what Ash Can writes, he/she is right. No one would say to someone with a broken leg, “Just snap out of it,” but there’s often an incorrect assumption that depression can be combatted with will power alone. These days it’s a trite thing to say, but those of us who’ve been there can readily attest to it. If nothing else, who the hell would want to feel that way, day in day out?

    Medical help enables a two-pronged recovery. First, medication if it’s warranted. You have to be very careful about meds, but sometimes they’re very helpful. Second, being able to talk to someone with some rapport is very healing.

    The road to getting better will have some good days and some not-so-good days, but when you get on that road, rest assured that you can make steady progress.

    In terms of medical help, if you’re feeling really bad, you need to go to an emergency room. How bad is really bad? Frequent suicidal ideation, especially making plans. An inability to function. (E.g. not being able to get out of bed, etc.)

  51. 51.

    RandomChick

    July 20, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    I have an uncle who is a preacher that does this. No matter what the conversation, the weather, pets, the price of lima beans, it all comes around to something about the The Lord or something Matthew said to Peter, or something. I don’t know how, I tune out around that point.

  52. 52.

    Betsy

    July 20, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    Hey arguingwithsignposts. Lots of us here thinking of you. If it’s too tough to drive anywhere, call this number:
    1-800-784-2433. They will help.

    And I want to nth the people saying there’s nothing wrong (and lots right!) with getting good, solid treatment. I just came from a visit with my wonderful shrink this morning. I don’t consider it embarrassing at all, and I’m very open with people about it – she’s a great person who helps me think things through in a way that friends, family, lovers, etc. just can’t do. And since I’ve started being open about it, I’ve discovered that probably 3/4 of the people in my degree program have sought professional help for depression and related illnesses. Because once I’m open, they feel like it’s ok to talk to me about it. There are many more people than you might imagine who benefit from this kind of treatment.
    (Though this might say more about my department than anything else, lol)

  53. 53.

    Jackie

    July 20, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Please go to the ER if you don’t have a primary care person to reach out to for a referral.

    Brain science is in it’s early days and no treatment works for everyone. but keep trying. It’s hard when your brain malfunctions to have good judgement. A disease that tells you it’s hopeless and helpless discourages you from getting help. Your posts sound like a medical emergency to me. Go now. We’ll be here when you get back.

  54. 54.

    Betsy

    July 20, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    OT:
    No one could have predicted
    that refusing to tell teens how to protect themselves, aside from “keep it in your pants,” would lead to increased rates of STDs and teen pregnancy.

  55. 55.

    Nethead Jay

    July 20, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    @Tonal Crow: I believe that’s what the astro types call a supermassive black hole… ;)

  56. 56.

    NonWonderDog

    July 20, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    @EJ:
    [quote]Technically he’s right. A mil a day for 2000 years, give or take, comes to around $730 billion.[/quote]

    Yes, but if you put $30,000,000 a month into an account getting 3% interest, compounded monthly, for 2000 years, you’d have about $1,271,547,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

    One point three undecillion dollars.

  57. 57.

    Demo Woman

    July 20, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Where were all these folks when Bush was bankrupting the country? Oh yeah, they were giving tax cuts to their friends.

  58. 58.

    Dork

    July 20, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    This is stupid. If Jesus had a million to spend, he’da had a fuckin kick-ass lawyer who woulda gotten him off with a 2-month probation, time served, and maybe a reprimand for Pilate for being so obstinate. Then Jesus would have opened the first niteclub and made a killing, seeing as he could turn water into wine by merely touching it. Talk about lowering your fixed costs.

  59. 59.

    JGabriel

    July 20, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Dennis-SGMM:

    If I had a dollar for every time a Republican said something stupid I’d be well on my way to my first million.

    Wow. [Stares wistfully and appreciatively into the distance.]

    That’d be better than winning Powerball.

    .

  60. 60.

    Persia

    July 20, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    @Derek: Actually, I’ve used CE since college. Welcome to the 21st century. CE.

  61. 61.

    Demo Woman

    July 20, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    @Betsy: Wonder if MSM will cover the article..

  62. 62.

    Betsy

    July 20, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Ah crap I fucked up the link. That’s what I get for trying to do the html. Link to teen pregnancy/STD story:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jul/20/bush-teen-pregnancy-cdc-report

  63. 63.

    tamied

    July 20, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    arguingwithsignposts, you don’t know me, I’ve just been lurking for awhile, but I’m concerned. I fought thru many years of depression and became suicidal. What snapped me out of that was a friend actually committed suicide. It is a horrible thing to do to someone else. You have a family and friends and your actions will affect their lives forever. You will be out of your pain, but theirs will just be starting.

    You can get help. It took me a long time, but life is worth living again. I realized that I couldn’t do the ultimate harm to those I love, so there was no other recourse than to get help. Find a good therapist. Find a good doctor who will get you good drugs that will help (not cure) your pain. But take the steps you need to get your life back.

    please.

  64. 64.

    Tonal Crow

    July 20, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    @Betsy:

    Ah crap I fucked GOPed up the link.

    Fixed. Sex is natural, fun, and good for you. GOP is perverted, stultifying, and causes climatic (and climactic) disruption, and sometimes even spontaneous decapitation.

  65. 65.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    July 20, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    Obama’s failed plan could cost America up to $50 kajillion dollars. Try to imagine how much money that is. Why, if you spent $1 zillion every day from the birth of Christ until now, it wouldn’t even add up to a single bazillion. $50 kajillion is simply a staggering sum, but that’s what Obama’s going to cost America.

    I hope you’re proud of yourselves for electing him, moonbats.

  66. 66.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    July 20, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    From the article:

    “The $23.7 trillion estimate generally includes programs at the hypothetical maximum size envisioned when they were established,” Williams said. “It was never likely that all these programs would be ‘maxed out’ at the same time.”

    If I read this based on experience, it’s saying “it will definitely cost that much or more.”

  67. 67.

    bago

    July 20, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    @Betsy: Well, by the phrase “your pants” I implied that it meant “not my pants”.

  68. 68.

    Betsy

    July 20, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    @Tonal Crow:
    You make a strong point.

  69. 69.

    chopper

    July 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    @JGabriel:

    if you don’t know about mojo nixon then your blog could use some fixin’.

  70. 70.

    kay

    July 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    @Demo Woman:

    I understood that they were guaranteeing a lot of debt. Republican House members did too, because the Treasury and the Federal Reserve said over and over that’s what they were doing.

    There wasn’t any other entity willing to guarantee it, and I understood “restore faith in the financial system” and “essential we avoid complete melt-down of financial markets” to mean we were going to back it.

    Republican House members saw it as more abstract? Sort of a good will gesture? Why? I’m not a member of Congress and I got the general gist. They missed it?

  71. 71.

    Brachiator

    July 20, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    i’m still here. talk to me. please. dark is getting darker. don’t know how to stop being depressed.

    As with others here, I can only say that I wish you well, and also suggest that you should try to reach out for local help and support. And I realize that sometimes even this small, simple step can seem like trying to jump across a chasm. But do your best to get the help you need.

  72. 72.

    The Tim Channel

    July 20, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    How they got to 23 trillion.

    They added up the total monies the Republicans have stolen from the collective coffers since Reagan opened the gates.

    Enjoy.

  73. 73.

    Leelee for Obama

    July 20, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Glad you’re still here, Arguing. Since you’re not feeling better, apparently, I think you must get thee to a professional of some kind. We are no substitute for someone in the room with you, my friend. Please keep talking to us, of course, but, really, go to a Counselor asap-my worry meter is off the charts.

  74. 74.

    Drive By Wisdom

    July 20, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Mr. Obama is done. The boy emperor and his orcs have no clothes. 1.3% of all morgages defaulted in May, and his rescue program has yet to hit a single piece of dirt. Now they whine that they underestimated the problem and want more money for stimulus. Sounds like crack addiction to me.

    I give this healthcare fiasco 4 more weeks. Democrats are good for one thing: cutting and running. And they are reading the SS Obama’s sinking polls and preparing to lower the lifeboats.

    Never one to not be screwing something else up, never accountable Barney Frank calls for lowering lending standards while preparing some empty outrage rhetoric to use on Tim “crashing at some JPMC/IDB execs mansion in DC rent free” Geithner.

  75. 75.

    Dennis-SGMM

    July 20, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Did some Googling and found that the total value of all US mortgages is ten trillion dollars. The rest of the figures being bandied about are likely Credit Default Swaps betting on whether or not the securities based on these mortgages will pay off. It’s as if the gov is guaranteeing to recompense everyone who loses a nickel in a slot machine or a bet at the track.

  76. 76.

    Jen R

    July 20, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Please call your doctor or go to the emergency room. If you tell them what you’ve told us, you should be seen right away. Please come back and tell us when you’ve talked to a doctor. I know it’s hard, but you can do it — we’re behind you.

  77. 77.

    kay

    July 20, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    Once again, there was a crisis, and once again, Congress are going to express shock and horror at what they didn’t know. 9/11, Iraq, now financial crisis.
    How many times does this fly? What is the point of having them? They spend a good part of every day saying they can’t possibly be expected to know what’s going on.
    This is the ranking member of the oversight committee . Maybe he should have been paying attention in September. If he needed to put it in a biblical context to understand what was going on, fine, but NOW he’s adding up the potential exposure?
    The new refrain is that they don’t have time to read proposed legislation. Why not? They’re on cable television constantly. If I added up the time they spent whining that they hadn’t read the stimulus-health care-fill-in-the-blank proposal, they could have read the proposals.

  78. 78.

    valdivia

    July 20, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    I endorse the comments upthread about a dr. there are some support groups you can call on the phone anonymously too if that might help. hope you are feeling better, my brother suffered from depression and I understand a bit what you might be going through. what else can i say but–warmth and friendship is here if you need it.

  79. 79.

    jrosen

    July 20, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    By my numbers, the total is 7. 3 x 10^11, which is 7.3 trillion.

  80. 80.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 20, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    Arguing with Signposts: checking in from the road and I am glad to see so many people giving you wisen sound advice: get professional medical help NOW. I hope the fact that you haven’t posted again in the last hour or so means that you got to a doctor or hospital. I will continue to pull off into Waffle House parking lots and check the threads. I am thinking about you constantly with love and concern.

  81. 81.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    July 20, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    @kay:

    This is the ranking member of the oversight committee. Maybe he should have been paying attention in September.

    Or 2-3 f**king years ago.

    So many countertops and birth certificates, and only so much time.

  82. 82.

    burnspbesq

    July 20, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    You lost me at “Darrell Issa.” Everything after that is conclusively presumed to be teh unadulterated stoopid.

    And one more poorly-informed person praying for Signposts and hoping s/he gets help pronto. No need to keep suffering.

  83. 83.

    Chris Johnson

    July 20, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Balloon Juice isn’t really an emergency room…

    We in the furry fandom had an interesting experience with a person who had heart-wrenching, immediate needs recently-

    http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1214310.html#cutid1

    http://num8.livejournal.com/63617.html

  84. 84.

    Adrienne

    July 20, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    @Dork:

    FTW. You should write the screenplay for that. I’d go see it. LOL.

  85. 85.

    RedKitten

    July 20, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    @arguing: hang in there, sweetie. We all care about you. You can get through this with help, so don’t be reluctant to ask for that help. It’s not a burden, and it’s not a chore. People WANT to help you, so please let them. Please keep us posted, and if you think you’re going to do something to hurt yourself, call 911. Don’t let that that black dog steal you away from the ones you love and the ones who love you.

  86. 86.

    shelley matheis

    July 20, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Hey, a million dollars a day

    Sounds like my latest email come-on from Publisher’s Clearing House.

  87. 87.

    RememberNovember

    July 20, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Godwin’s law has been usurped by the 1 million dollars since the birth of Christ meme- well that’s pretty chauvanistic…not to mention factually obscure- do they know exactly what day he was born? Where’s his birth certificate? Call out the Birthers!

    Bunch of fekkin Chicken Littles.

  88. 88.

    Roger Moore

    July 20, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    @Dennis-SGMM: You just need to think about something with a bit higher denomination than a silver dollar. A US Federal Reserve Note weighs about 1g. That means that $1M in Franklins is the proverbial suitcase full of money. A 20 foot shipping container could hold about $1G, and a large container ship could hold something like $10T if it were loaded with nothing but Franklins. Call it $2T if it were loaded with Hamiltons instead.

  89. 89.

    steve s

    July 20, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    By my numbers, the total is 7. 3×10^11, which is 7.3 trillion.

    MathFail.

  90. 90.

    asiangrrlMN

    July 20, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    @Dork: Priceless. That WOULD be an awesome movie.

    I hate that tying everything back to Jesus shit. It has no meaning. Really.

    @arguingwithsignposts: Call someone now. Call the number Betsy gave you. Here is another: 1-800-273-8255. Here is a website with more information.

    http://suicidehotlines.com/

    I, too, see a therapist and am not ashamed to say it. She has helped me through some really difficult times. You gotta do this, man. Sending you good vibes.

  91. 91.

    Dennis-SGMM

    July 20, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    @Roger Moore:
    Damn, that’s more than I make in a year!

  92. 92.

    ed

    July 20, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    Of course, they should. But it’s still, unfortunately, a little esoteric, unless Mojo Nixon got much bigger than I remember.

    If you don’t have Mojo Nixon,
    then your blog commenters could use some fixin’…

  93. 93.

    Blue Raven

    July 20, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    @Chris Johnson:

    We in the furry fandom had an interesting experience with a person who had heart-wrenching, immediate needs recently-

    Yes, and as soon as arguing starts asking for money, we’ll worry. Until then, your concern is noted.

  94. 94.

    Ben Killian

    July 20, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Can we get a dedicated “arguingwithsignposts is going to snuff it” thread so we don’t keep derailing the real Ballon Juice threads?

  95. 95.

    RedKitten

    July 20, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    Ben, go fuck yourself..seriously.

    AFAIK, arguingwithsignposts has been around here a lot longer than you have, and it took a lot of guts for him to ask for help. Your petty and callous complaint about him spoiling your fun with his pain just makes you look like an insensitive asshole.

  96. 96.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    July 20, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    Ben, don’t take Krista’s harsh words as an excuse to kill yourself. Let’s just talk it out.. there, there.

  97. 97.

    Betsy

    July 20, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    @Ben Killian:
    Right, because BJ threads never ever go off in a direction other than the specific narrowly-defined topic of the post.

    I don’t know about you, but I am capable of holding two thoughts in my head at one time time (or at least alternating!), thus making it possible for me to engage with more than one conversation at a time.
    Also, what RedKitten (Krista) said.

  98. 98.

    Tonal Crow

    July 20, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    @RedKitten:

    Ben, go fuck GOP yourself..seriously.

    Fixed, per this.

  99. 99.

    Glen

    July 20, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Wow, $23.7 trillion taxpayer bucks to save American capitalism and the wealthy.

    That price makes the cost of Social Security, Medicare, and universal single payer health care look like a pimple on a frog’s ass.

  100. 100.

    Leelee for Obama

    July 20, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    @Ben Killian: Perhaps we could vote you off the island! Seriously, man, you are asshole squared. One can see where the empathy word gets a bad name in some circles. God forbid a friend should reach out for help and mess up your precious brain farts.

  101. 101.

    Ruckus

    July 20, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    I was going to say we all want to help but there seems to be some here who just don’t get it. The world is a fucked up place when all you can see is shit.
    But there is more to life than that. Many of us will do pretty much anything we can to help you get through this. We’ve been through our own versions of life is a shit sandwich and have found out that things really do get better. Please call one of the numbers given, or your local mental health center if there is one. You’ve been here before and just have to find the proper help once again.
    Let me know if I can do anything else/more.
    BTW I like your blog, you’ve got good things to say.

  102. 102.

    Chris Johnson

    July 20, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Blue Raven- gotcha :) It’s not that big of a concern- people can do and feel as they like, I’m not offended in the least.

    I do think “quit making posts and go talk to a REAL professional” is important advice, though. I see a talk therapist myself- and have not been bullied into a cornucopia of medications (indirectly I can confirm the ‘don’t let them give you atypical antipsychotics’ one- I had a college friend who went batshit insane, permanently, on those)

    There’s a pattern of ‘I will not seek actual help, just say more pretty things right away’ which I hope we don’t see here. The problem is this: if you have things that seriously wrong that you must have people say “we love you we love love love you” in order to survive: you won’t believe it forever. You gotta address what’s really going on, and you will be doing the lion’s share of the work: it’s never as simple as ‘go see a therapist and THEY will say they love you, for money’.

    This is serious business, empathy won’t get you all of the way there, and you cannot simply assume our friend is legit. I’ll believe him quicker if he makes the effort to do what everybody is loudly begging him to do- it’s not like we’re not providing worthy advice complete with caveats and cautions.

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