Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

This blog will pay for itself.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

No Kings: Americans standing in the way of bad history saying “Oh, Fuck No!”

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

I really should read my own blog.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Giving up is unforgivable.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

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Reader Interactions

517Comments

  6. 6.

    Jacquie

    Ooh…I must have missed that tip. Let’s try.

    On an unrelated subject, I believe the country would be happier if everyone carried a banana with them all the time.

  8. 8.

    ari

    Really? If true, that would be nice. I’ve been reading through the pain, but I can only suffer for so long.

  32. 32.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Tim

    You said the magic word

    and here we go to 600 inane cookie comments

  35. 35.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Gene settled in behind the desk. He reflected back to his days as a student at Indiana University, in disbelief that this could ever happen to him. It was tan and spread out before him on his desk. In his very own office. The sun shone softly through the blinds, partially closed, creating the image of stripes across the desk. Gene thought back to a lady he had once known.

    Grrrr.

    Reaching down, he devaginated his instrument from the quiver. Gazing at it, it shone, and the contemplation of the task lying before it, caused Gene to reflect some more. As the instrument moved towards the tan object the anticipation was overwhelming. What secrets lie inside, waiting to be discovered by him? Gene Renuart of Middle America?

    The point contacted the opening, which seemed to resist, at first. And then it was in. And the sweet sound of tearing as his instrument worked its way down the seam. As his instrument neared the terminus, excitement began to overwhelm him. Of all the people, in all the world, over all the time, it was him, Gene, whose fingers were about to go where only Joe Miller’s had gone before.

  50. 50.

    RedKitten

    I would love a cookie right about now. Maybe I’ll dig one of our emergency packages of Tim Tams out of the freezer. (They’re from Australia, and just recently arrived here, and are damn hard to find, so when we find them, we buy obscene quantities of them and store them in the deep freeze.)

  55. 55.

    Lumpy

    I’m on a Mac using Safari 4.02, and the site is indeed all screwed up, as far as layout and format.

    Cookie, please!

  65. 65.

    ellaesther

    Ok, I already feel the need to apologize for my contribution to what I can now see will be a very long list of cookie comments, and so offer this, in atonement:

    Over at the boingboing (which is very fairly advertised as “A Directory of Wonderful Things”), you will find this, an a capella version of the cantina music from Star Wars: boingboing.net/2009/07/29/star-wars-cantina-so.html

    Oh boingboing, I love you so!

  70. 70.

    nalbar

    For those who do not know, Nutter Butters are the best cookie on the market. Maybe the best EVER.

    nalbar

  75. 75.

    ellaesther

    @RedKitten: A woman mere days/weeks before her due date is not only allowed to so indulge, I would submit that you may very well be obliged.

    I’m not pregnant, but I think I wish I had a Tim Tam, too. (Or maybe just that I could say “Tim Tam, too” over and over until I get a head rush).

  76. 76.

    J

    ah, it did wind up fixing it again. scratch my previous comment.

    worked yesterday, and worked again today.

    do hurry up and fix this, tho, would you?

  93. 93.

    toolshed

    “I don’t watch television, I don’t even own a television, and notice I said television, not TV, because TV is a nickname and nicknames are for friends; television is no friend of mine.”

  94. 94.

    toolshed

    “I don’t watch television, I don’t even own a television, and notice I said television, not TV, because TV is a nickname and nicknames are for friends; television is no friend of mine.”

  101. 101.

    Comrade Darkness

    Hm… that IS weird. If it were my server, i’d be going through the htaccess files looking for some bizarro rewrite engine command.

    Maybe its some code to keep the css from being borrowed/loaded remotely. Or to keep the images from being borrowed and the css is getting caught up in it?? I’m reaching here, but really, it’s too strange to have a normal explanation.

  139. 139.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Red Kitten, Tim Tams? Yeah, that’s my idea of a cookie (bikikie)!

    Harder to find that hens-teeth in the U Sof A. We’ve got some ‘real’ ones in the ‘frig right now saved up for special occaisions. Yum.

  140. 140.

    oortmist

    Inane cookie comment number, whatever comment number this is.
    Mmmmmm, cookies(drool).

  143. 143.

    Comrade Darkness

    @Narcissus: There is a good way to test it. When you go to the bottom of a post, is the comment box pre-filled in with with “Narcissus”? If not, then, you haz no cookie and you need to check your browser preferences. If it is prefilled, you may need to force reload the css by clicking HERE and then RELOADING once after you do so. Then come back. See if that works.

  165. 165.

    monkey

    A blatant attempt to draw out the lurkers and author a post with the greatest number of comments.

  203. 203.

    HighLlama

    Long time reader and lurker. Might as well get my cookie because this look is really annoying me.

  226. 226.

    Mele

    This is just a devious plot to make me de-lurk. But…
    C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me!

  227. 227.

    les

    Reminder: for reasons that I do not understand, leaving a comment will deposit a cookie that fixes display problems with the site.

    And why are you so intent on infecting us with cooties…uh, cookies?

  245. 245.

    Jazz Troll

    You can’t fool me — I know an insidious plot to send lurker data to ACORN when I see one.

  249. 249.

    RedKitten

    Red Kitten, Tim Tams? Yeah, that’s my idea of a cookie (bikikie)! Harder to find that hens-teeth in the U Sof A. We’ve got some ‘real’ ones in the ‘frig right now saved up for special occaisions. Yum.

    Yep. I used to get my friend Tracy to bring them with her when she flew back to her parents’ for visits from Australia (where she now lives). Now, we can occasionally find them at one particular grocery store, but it’s hit-or-miss, so we hoard them shamelessly.

  253. 253.

    Shevek57

    And if I have my browser set to delete cookies when I close out does that mean I’ll have to leave another comment tomorrow to make the site appear normal again?

  261. 261.

    slippytoad

    I’m sorry, Tim, I’m only leaving comments if a Cheezburger is what I can haz.

    Kthanksbai.

  279. 279.

    Rich

    You expect me to leave a comment to fix your problem just because you can’t figure out how to do it?

  281. 281.

    excruman

    That’s a problem because I don’t want your steenking cookies. Better find a real solution.

  291. 291.

    EcoRI

    I refuse to be duped by your obvious attempt to drive up comment numbers for this article.

    Wait… shit.

  315. 315.

    Ash Can

    Hon, when I post from my Windows 98, ain’t no cookie in the WORLD gonna feed this mofo.

  327. 327.

    Jon

    and worth another try after deleting the no-cookies-from-balloon-juice line in my preferences

  354. 354.

    Comrade Mary

    Wow. Just installed Safari 4 for Windows and the entire site looks like 1995. Things are tidy and the ads are showing, but I don’t see no CSS nowhere.

  368. 368.

    pepper jack

    haha, this is a list of the readers who just can’t stand the current look of the site to be without cookies

  398. 398.

    Origuy

    I don’t need a cookie, but this thread made me hungry. I want one of these:

    In Argentina, the alfajor is a sort of national cookie. The cookies are found piled high in the gilt cases of Buenos Aires cafés, wrapped to go in plastic at the checkout counters of diners, tucked into lunchboxes. For Argentines, the alfajor has the essential, homemade comfort that the chocolate-chip cookie does for Americans.

    Alfajores (pronounced al-fah-HOR-es) are sandwich cookies of dulce de leche between thin rounds of shortbread. They might be rolled in coconut shavings, sprinkled with confectioners’ sugar, or coated with chocolate. Some varieties use flour and cornmeal, but these crumble upon the touch. The best version is an even balance between cookie and filling, with a light crunch and minimal sugar.

  410. 410.

    chuchu

    so either i didn’t get the cookie, my browser (safari 4.0.2) refused it, or the comment/cookie solution isn’t what actually fixes the layout problem. i’m checking my browser now

  416. 416.

    chuchu

    so i found the cookie related to my comment here at balloon-juice. safari 4.0.2 didn’t reject it. i still have the corrupted layout/view, although my comment/s are awaiting moderation. i’m not sure why that would make a difference to the cookie, but this didn’t work for me. bummer.

  418. 418.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Your gettin’ there kids. Only 200 more cookie comments and you can go out and play.

    Me want cookie fingers.

  421. 421.

    Soprano2

    I’ve never commented before, but I can’t stand the stupidness that is the way this Web site looks any longer!! The content is still great, though.

  432. 432.

    Jeanne

    I really enjoy your blog, guys. Thanks for what you do here. And now, for the magic moment when the site is returned to its usual look!

  439. 439.

    sesame street

    C is for cookie.
    That’s good enough for me.
    C is for cookie.
    That’s good enough for me.
    C is for cookie.
    That’s good enough for me! Yeah!
    Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!

  457. 457.

    Tim in Wisconsin

    Ooh Cookie! Nom Nom Nom.

    (which is as close as I can textually get to recreating the sound of Cookie Monster.)

  458. 458.

    Hirudo

    Gee, now I may actually have to comment rather than just leeching off others opinions.

  480. 480.

    suzanne

    i think this is all a nefarious plot to force you all to endure my metal vomit.
    you’ll be sorry, john cole.
    ;)

  481. 481.

    Chris

    I believe this to be a conspiracy to identify and expose all of us lurkers.

    Originally I was going to say something about c is for cookie, but I am clearly not unique on that one. Those without something unique to say lurk.

  507. 507.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    Turned on the laptop for the first time in ages and the css loaded fine even though the cookie was deleted (set to delete when browser is closed). Browser is SeaMonkey v1.1.8 (old version).

    Made it to Spokane w/o incident but it was a damn hot trip. Most of it was in the 105 to 125 range (temp sensor on front wheel of motorcycle about a foot off of the ground). The wife was in the car with the kids and the life support system (cooler with supplies packed in ice and water), which I tapped to soak my t-shirt at rest stops.

    Like riding a blast furnace through hell but I loved every minute of it. Going on a ride tomorrow to visit old friends in town and check out the old haunts.

    Back to vacationing… :)

  508. 508.

    Philip from England

    Dear Mr Juice,

    Or may I call you Balloon? This is my first comment on your site, written in order to get it to display properly again. But I also wanted to say that your comments are among the first thing I look at every day. Like Daily Kos, Obsidian Wings, and a few others, you have represented a voice of humour and sanity during the latest period of communal insanity to have struck the USA.

    Please post even MORE photos of Tunch.

    Philip from England

  516. 516.

    Neither steer nor queer, A Texan here

    I, for one, shall miss our Compatability Mode overlords.

Comments are closed.