Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

The lights are all blinking red.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Fight them, without becoming them!

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Our messy unity will be our strength.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Tunchcam #8

Tunchcam #8

by | 99 Comments

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So I’m sitting here trying to read a text I’ve put off for a month and a half, and bigmouth is bitching nonstop because he is out of food, and not slated for another portion until tomorrow because he is a fatbody and it is hard to exercise a cat. So I decide to film him. Guess what- other than a few chirps, he clams up. Go figure:

All in all, a pretty good cat, I think.

The look at 1:03 – 1:08 is vintage Tunch, btw.

Reader Interactions

99Comments

  1. 1.

    General Winfield Stuck

    You found the right Tunch button to push with his new Throne Blanket.. Looks happy as a clam and all his Subjects rejoice.

  2. 2.

    Emma

    Well, John, considering the language that boy is using perhaps it’s better he doesn’t say much! Ah, but then he makes up for it by giving you some pretty poses… I like the over the shoulder glance at 1:04 or so…

  3. 3.

    Max

    That’s a very nice cat you have.

    My dog is currently glued to me because I splurged at the grocery store and bought some chicken livers (a whole $1.12 worth) and sauteed them up to hide his Heartguard in. Max must think there is more where that came from. Sadly, not for another month, when its again Heartguard / Frontline Plus time.

    Also.

  4. 4.

    Pixie

    lol at 1:03-1:08 he’s probably wondering how your soul tastes.

    What a cute kitteh! /snuggles that fatcat!

  7. 7.

    LesleyAP

    Yeah, that last look of contempt is priceless. But he is pretty damn cute and snorgable looking.

  8. 8.

    Joshua Norton

    Poor kitteh. He also looks like he’s getting weaker and weaker and weaker. Probably starving to death!

  9. 9.

    donovong

    Oh shit. Forgot the mute button. Now I have to explain to wifey that I really am watching a kittie video.

  11. 11.

    beltane

    I admire cats for their ability to make themselves so incredibly comfortable. Dogs can do it, too, but cats excel at this.

  12. 12.

    Fulcanelli

    Beware John, Tunch might know how to use that “Remote Viewing” technique the CIA/Army intelligence spooks developed, and is planning to go back into your life to when you were a tot and smother you in your crib. That icy glare he shot you near the end was pure evil. I dunno, I’d feed him before you go to bed, just in case.

  15. 15.

    joe1347

    Wow – that was exciting :)

    Probably a dumb question – but have you tried the combo cat toy/scratching pad? This was the first toy I bought that actually got my big load of a cat off her you know what. Sprinkling catnip on the cardboard scratching pad is also a big hit.

    http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2753802

    Side note: thanks for the tip on the furminator a few months ago. don’t know how I lived without it.

  16. 16.

    Fulcanelli

    I think Tunch sensed I’m on to his plan, there’s some nasty heat lightning and thunder rolling in that started right after I hit reply to submit my last post. The force is strong in that one! Nice kitty!

  17. 17.

    Cat Lady

    Why does five seconds of Tunch’s glare of utter contempt make my day? I have my own cats who glare at me in utter contempt, but its not the same! OH NOES I HAZ CAT ENVY!

  18. 18.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    and it is hard to exercise a cat.

    Exorcising them doesn’t work either.

    So I decide to film him. Guess what- other than a few chirps, he clams up. Go figure:

    “Uh oh, he’s going to show this to the other filthy apes. Better behave. Once I kill this one off I’ll need a new slave.”

  19. 19.

    Shinobi

    have you tried laser pointers? My fat cat loves them, she comes running if I so much as pick it up off the desk.

    Tunch is so cute I want to rub my face in his chubby belly even though I know he would not appreciate it and that it would make me sneeze.

  21. 21.

    MBSS

    tunch saved me today. i was about to assault a fellow employee for spouting right wing memes. to cool off i got online and came upon “large and in charge.” hard to be mad when you see a cat with a funny expression on his face.

    tunch saved a life today. the guy was bitching that “the stimulus should have included tax cuts.”

  23. 23.

    MikeJ

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Now, I am listening to Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry because it’s my stripper song.

    I don’t know what this means, but I am interested in your philosophy and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  24. 24.

    rmp

    I’ve got 4 cats (ok, my kids have 4 cats that I take care of) and I have to admit that’s it kinda weird/kinky that I enjoy that one of the cats enjoys licking the toe jam off my feet in the am.

    The other cat’s look at her and just have a ‘wtf’ look in their eyes.

  26. 26.

    imp

    “I am clearly a feline of extraordinary character…and…uhhhh…girth. Surely the two go hand in hand! So, a little less kvetching about the alleged “fatbody”, Mr. Cole, and a little bit more food for the diva harbored within. That way, nobody gets hurt, OK?”

    I think that’s a pretty accurate translation of Tunch’s expression at the 1:03 mark

  28. 28.

    madmommy

    Tunch is throwing some serious stink-eye your way. Sure, he’s a bit…large, but I’m sure it’s just because he’s big boned. Or perhaps a thyroid problem. Also.

  29. 29.

    cbear

    @rmp: “….I have to admit that’s it kinda weird/kinky that I enjoy that one of the cats enjoys licking the toe jam off my feet in the am.”

    YA THINK?

    What in the fuck do you have that poor cat doing in the PM?
    Oh wait, please please don’t tell me.

  30. 30.

    Calming Influence

    O.K. [testing… testing…]

    One apostrophe: !
    Two apostrophes: !!
    Three apostrophes: !!!
    Three apostrophes w/ “1” interspersed: !!1!

  33. 33.

    Calming Influence

    O.K., now check this out: [easy now C.I.,…you can do it…steady…….]

    sha-ZAM1111111111111!1

    1: the new apostrophe!

  37. 37.

    asiangrrlMN

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww, the Tunchinator is soooooo cute! I love his chirps of disdain and contempt. Feed the boy, Cole! He’s wasting away in Margaritaville.

    @MikeJ: Heh. You would have to stand in line and have a fistful of dollars ready.

  38. 38.

    Warren Terra

    @ MBSS, #21
    Did you explain to your winger that the stimulus did have tax cuts, on the payroll side, so that the people most likely to spend the money would get it? Or do they, like the typical winger, prefer to pretend that income is only taxed by the more progreasive federal income tax you calculate on your 1040?

    Or maybe they were thinking of the insane Republican alternative “stimulus”, a product of the Heritage Foundation and voted for by nearly all Republicans in both chambers (in slightly different forms), which sought to achieve short-term stimulus by permanently reducing the income tax (all brackets iirc, but still greatly skewed to the upper-middle class and the wealthy) and the capital gains tax. Because permanent tax cuts affecting mostly or exclusively the wealthy are clearly a great way to get short term stimulus going.

  42. 42.

    RandomChick

    @Warren Terra:
    Speaking of taxes: I’m proud to report that I was actually able to get through to an R/Glib recently.

    An old friend – hadn’t seen in years – came to our housewarming and we started talking politics. She was arguing vehemently for a flat tax, and had some takers to her opinion.

    I was able to shut her down by asking what the rate should be.

    I was able to walk her through:

    1) Lower – rich folks get a tax break and there’s not enough to run the gov’munt.
    2) Higher – rich folks get a tax break and her broke ass gets a tax INCREASE.

    In all modesty, however, it turns out she is still capable of thought. So, don’t try this at home.

  43. 43.

    MBSS

    @WarrenTerra

    i said there were tax cuts in the stimulus, he started to go into health care and Romney, and then i started to lose my temper a bit, and promptly ended the discussion. he’s just a kid, fed nonsense daily from hannity on the radio. he was simply regurgitating what he heard. i don’t want to lecture him, but i’m at the point where anyone trying to lie to my face by repeating nonsense, is not going to be suffered lightly.

    and then tunch looked at me with a condescending glance that would put David Brooks to shame. i then remembered life is not about arguing about politics.(it’s about chocolate ice cream)

  44. 44.

    YellowJournalism

    Yay! Tunch Cam! My son will be so excited when I show him in the morning.

    The pose Tunch makes around the 17 second mark onward is so, “Worship me. All of you.” Love it.

    Is it wrong that I totally understand what asiangrrl means by something being a “stripper song”?

  45. 45.

    Anne Laurie

    Awwwww, the happy-paws and the love-squint, and mean Mr. Cole deliberately misinterpreting Tunch’s overflowing affection — it’s a good night here at Chez BJ…

    (Don’t see how one can resist snorging that soft kitteh-belly long enough to film it, but we are grateful for your restraint.)

    Gotta agree, the new blanket really shows off Tunch’s coloring better; like so many redheads, he’s definitely an Autumn.

  46. 46.

    MBSS

    my buddies were over watching dodger vs giants

    one of them saw me watching the tunch video

    he earlier saw my screensaver with a dog and two cats

    i think he was getting worried about me.

  47. 47.

    Calming Influence

    @steve s:
    Yes Steve, apparently you’re new to the Internets, but this is absofuckinglutely serious. Like a heart attack. Because when you type some shit into the comment box, and then you hit “Submit” like you’re actually saying “yes, this is the shit I want to appear on the internet connected to my nome de plume” and said shit ends up on the internet in a different form than the shit you actually typed, I’d say you’ve just been fucked by WordPress.

    And not “fucked” as in the “we hooked up in Berkeley and fucked outside First Camp at Burning Man”. I’m talking about fucked as in “showering in prison”.

    Before you know it, you’re typing in “I love Obama and Socialism” and what shows up on Balloon Juice comments is “Burn the Reichstag”.

    Beware, my friend.

  51. 51.

    Lesley

    I would probably give Tunch my Ben and Jerry’s if he asked ordered me to.

    Tunch is a remarkable cat. His disdain and general disapproval reminds me of Cinnamon and friends.

    I like his new blanket.

  52. 52.

    Calming Influence

    9.9 out of 10 commenters here have the language skills to put together truly offensive comments using the most innocuous words that would easily pass through “moderation” with no trouble. But try to write a thoughtful or humorous comment with any of these trigger words, and you end up in moderation.

    Moderation can bite me.

  55. 55.

    Wile E. Quixote

    So I’m torn between voting for <a href=”http://your.kingcounty.gov/elections/pamphlet/pamphlet.aspx?cid=32564&eid=1230#c10913″Goodspaceguy or Stan Lippmann. I mean I kind of like Stan’s plan for the county to acquire its own gold or silver mine so that it can pay its debts with hard currency and free itself from the Fed, but then again Goodspaceguy is for space colonization. If they ran on a fusion ticket promising that King County would acquire its own gold or silver mine so we could use Boeing and other area high-tech companies to build its own space colonies, well, the mind boggles at the very awesomeness.

  56. 56.

    Blue Raven

    @YellowJournalism:

    Is it wrong that I totally understand what asiangrrl means by something being a “stripper song”?

    If it is, I’m wrong right along with you. I now also want to dig up that Buckcherry song she mentioned.

  57. 57.

    Blue Raven

    Oh, and John? I dig the Tunchinator, but I think I speak for many of us dog lovers when I demand equal time. Lilycam, please!

  58. 58.

    freelancer

    Goddamnit! I just spent the last 30 minutes at kenyanbirthcertificategenerator.com attempting to place Stephen Hawking’s arrival on the planet somewhere within the lower 48, but the HTML on the site is completely fucked up.

    It would have made all the lefty fun about Investor’s Business Daily completely MOOT.

    In my version, Hawking’s dad is from Morgantown WV, and his mom was from Hope, AR. Isobel Hawking’s maiden name was Bouvier. I mean, seriously, it was a work of art.

  60. 60.

    spazzyTailgator

    (who was MelodyMaker)
    I have three cats and I’m watching Cole’s on my screen.
    He’s a fine one, that Tunch. He seems rather self-conscious with the camera, tho. As in: wtf are your hands doing on that instead of on me? Maybe not self-conscious, but just not getting it. Attention! whahh? what’s that thing?

    If you go to Holy Land on Central and Lowry, don’t look at the butcher shop door by the back registers. I’m still trying to get over reading “boneless camel.” Just get some cheese and move on.

  61. 61.

    ¡El Gato Negro!

    Sr. Cole,

    From 0:10 to 0:20 Tunch is pretty obviously asking you to pet him.
    See him rolling over on his back? That’s “See how cute I’m being? Pet me”.

    From 0:31 to 0:35 he’s asking you to pet him again. See that little paw reaching out? That’s “Pet me, please”.

    He does seem pretty happy, if that noise he made is any indication. Here you are, clearly not doing what he wants, and that noise still had a little tiny trill in it. Gatos don’t give you those if they’re unhappy. They’re much more likely to go into “Instant Siamese Mode” if they aren’t content.

    So, good for you, your gato is doing okay. But he says you need to pet him more.

  63. 63.

    ChrisO

    John, you say it’s hard to exercise a cat, but I saw a person doing that just the other day – talking a walk with a cat on a leash, with the cat wearing a little harness. The cat looked quite content, I have to say.

    I can’t see Tunch wearing a harness and going walkies – can you?

  64. 64.

    harlana pepper

    Is it just me or was that the bestest Tunchcam ever? Love the way he “ignores” the camera until the very end and then sneaks a peek to see if you’re still filming his gloriousness.

    The popular request photo reminds me a lot of Cerebral Cat. A lot!

  65. 65.

    Trinity

    Tunch-tastic!

    Seriously. Thanks John. This is a great way to start my day.
    My last cat lived for 22 years. I still ache when I think of him.

  66. 66.

    robertdsc

    Is it just me or was that the bestest Tunchcam ever?

    My favorite is still the bathtime one. His yowl at the end cracks me up every time.

  69. 69.

    harlana pepper

    Update: I have exhausted my unemployment bennies and will be going to the unemployment office to file an extension. As some of you may know, I am an SC resident, so if Mark Sanford had his way, I would not even have this option and would be forced to use both sides of the post-it notes, also, while he flies around to haircut appointments and GOP fundraisers on SC taxpayer dollars.

  71. 71.

    harlana pepper

    @robertdsc: Wow, that was action-packed compared to the other videos. Thanks for sharing. I was actually expecting a vid of Tunch getting a BATH bath, omg, John would not be here with us today!

  72. 72.

    harlana pepper

    K, I am amusing myself until I go to stand in line for an hour & a half before the door even opens b/c I hate being in 3-5 hour lines. It’s bad here, folks.

  75. 75.

    harlana pepper

    @asiangrrlMN: Will gladly do – I guess it could be worse, the lines could be longer. Oh well, one could find comfort in the fact that Jenny Sanford squeezed out nice trip to Europe (I’m guessing, with twin beds) before ditching him and the State House. We probably paid for that, too.

  77. 77.

    harlana pepper

    Oh, wowz, a touch of reality invades teh Morning Joe — unemployment is worse than we we think. Is the fact that I am even able to tolerate this show at such an absurd hour a sign that I’m getting better?

  79. 79.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Mika is just officially just an idjit. How can anyone — let alone someone with a 3-hours-a-day national teevee program — get away with mouthing the most anodyne pablumatic cliche-ridden boring obvious comments as though she’s had blinding earthshaking insights, as if she were Archimedes in his bath or Newton under the apple tree.

    Sorry for the O/T rant.

  80. 80.

    harlana pepper

    @SiubhanDuinne: How dare you go OT on the Tunc cam! ;)

    I’m watching Morning Clowns, too, btw. I’m really sick of being called leftist by these boobs. Also.

  81. 81.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @ Harlana Pepper

    I really think I must be a lot more masochistic than I’d like to believe. I kept flipping over to CNN but they were reporting something about Michael Jackson (I think he died or something?) so I went back for another reound of being insulted.

    Good luck to you, HP. Unemployment lines and South Carolina. That’s a wicked combination.

  82. 82.

    AkaDad

    I think John needs to go into his basement, find the spot under the futon and add a few more support beams.

  83. 83.

    Ash Can

    I showed this Tunch video to the 9-year-old last night. His comment: “That kitty swallowed a basketball.”

  85. 85.

    The Saff

    @ChrisO: It’s been about 5 years but I used to walk my cats everyday. They started wearing their harnesses when they were 10 months old. I had to walk them separately since they would always go in opposite directions.

    Now, they’re just content to site on the window sills or at the screen door off the deck to watch the birds and squirrels.

    And hurrah for the Tunchcam. I like the new kitty blanket on the futon. Love when Tunch is doing that “aren’t I cute how can you ignore me I’m so cute” thing. My cats do that all the time and it’s irresistable.

  86. 86.

    RedKitten

    Is it wrong that I totally understand what asiangrrl means by something being a “stripper song”?

    Nope, ’cause I totally understand it too.

    Mine is “Set it Off” by Audioslave. ; ) It’s not the lyrics so much as the guitar riff combined with Chris Cornell’s voice.

  90. 90.

    bago

    I went working out with my favorite stripper friend today (9pm PST for the pedants). She couldn’t stop singing some filthy booty bass. Rocker strippers are much more Portland style. Now my friend, being from San Francisco is much more into the glitch-crunk sound. Check out this Glitch Mob track for an idea of what I speak of. Wait until 2:30 to really get how they synth-glitch the hell out of the track. I saw them play live last week, and they all rock it with custom multitouch pads running custom software to drop filters, loops, and other sampler effects with the analog input of a kaoss pad in realtime on multiple effects and axis. It’s quite awesome.

  91. 91.

    R-Jud

    @bago: I went working out with my favorite stripper friend today

    The two strippers I knew were both serious lifters and could do sets of pull-ups and stuff. Were they oddballs, or does your friend lift, too?

  92. 92.

    Annie

    Thanks, John. I just love watching him. He knows he is being filmed, and that he has quite the following…………He never disappoints!

  93. 93.

    schrodinger's cat

    Poor Tunch, he is not fat, he is floofy. Don’t call him fatbody, I am sure it hurts his feelings. BTW where did that name come from? I have never heard it used anywhere else.

  95. 95.

    The Saff

    @Doctor Science: The lovepaws! So that’s what that is. My Sherman does that nightly. When it’s warm, like the past couple days, he lays on the floor on his back stretched out directly beneath the ceiling fan. And he’s been doing that lately next to the Wheaten Terror.

    BTW, Sneakers is a beauty.

  96. 96.

    Doctor Science

    Saff:

    Yes, Sneakers is a great cat (in all senses), acquired in the best possible fashion: we opened the door. *I* say he’s just big-boned, but everyone else seems to think he’s fat.

  99. 99.

    ABMcC

    First, Tunch licks his paw, looks at you, and burbles. But why not, since you’ve brought a new being (cute Lily) into his home and are aiming a camera at his face? Second, he lies on his side and looks adorable. Come and pat me, please! Third, he goes back to licking himself and his new futon cover (yum!). Finally, he gives you the hairy eyeball, but ever so briefly. This is an outstanding cat, not just a pretty good one! And he’s half a pound lighter than mine!!

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