Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

T R E 4 5 O N

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

A consequence of cucumbers

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

He really is that stupid.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

Let’s finish the job.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Republicans in disarray!

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / It cuts like a knife, but it feels so right

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133Comments

  2. 2.

    Davis X. Machina

    What will we call It? The Honorable Member from Illinois? Peter O-Tool?

    The mind reels.

  5. 5.

    Ash Can

    Now that I think of it, this sort of thing has probably been on the birthers’ minds from the start; it’s just that it took this long for them to actually come out and say it.

  7. 7.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Well, shit. Everybody knows Black Dudes are hung with Alabama Black Snake. Don’t they watch the damn movies.

    And what a rub if Obama turned out to be Jewish. Talk about a monkey wrench in The Mighty Wurlitzer.

  9. 9.

    Ash Can

    BTW, I look forward to hearing what Lou Dobbs has to say about this, not to mention various Republican senators.

  10. 10.

    blahblahblah

    It’s all about diminishing him within the role of the Presidency. If they repeatedly associate his human sexuality and physicality with the role and position of President, they diminish him more than the Presidency itself.

    It worked with Clinton because he had a public sex scandal. With Obama, if he keeps his dick to his wife and not some white house page, then tactics like this should be seen by the majority as the disgusting political tactics that they are.

    I sincerely hope these assholes get coming back to them ten times what they dish out.

  11. 11.

    Comrade Mary

    Accepting the premise that the Presidential Staff wears a turtleneck and not a crewneck: gosh, what are the odds that an African man, almost certainly not circumcised, would want his son to look like him and not be circumcised, and that a hospital would honour his request?

    My ex, a Whitey McWhiterson a couple of years younger than Obama, wasn’t circumcised at birth, either. It is somewhat rare for that cohort, but not unheard of.

  13. 13.

    dmsilev

    Right, right, but how long will it be until they start asking length questions, especially as in comparison to the Clenis?

    -dms

  17. 17.

    DanF

    The wheels came off their cart, but somehow they just keep going. It’s like some kind of wingnut perpetual motion machine.

  18. 18.

    Demo Woman

    Do we have to amend the Constitution? Judith Warner of NYTimes fame, had a column after Obama’s took the oath of office. Maybe there will be a movement that he has to reveal it in public cuz “enquiring” want to know.

  21. 21.

    dmsilev

    @shabadoo:

    And he’d better show us the long form, nothing else will do.

    The *vault copy* long form.

    And I really really want Orly Taitz on TV arguing with Chris Matthews about this.

    -dms

  25. 25.

    SFAW

    … I didn’t see this coming,

    Ignoring the obvious groaner for the moment …

    Why is this a surprise? Pick the craziest rumor you can think of, crank it up to 11, and the wingnuts will always outdo it.

    Think of it as a game, limited only by your own imagination.

    Obama’s an alien? Old news.
    Obama killed his grandmother to cover up his Kenyan birth? *Yawn*
    Obama has the White – oops, I mean Black – House chef kill, dress, and roast babies to serve to Barack and Michelle? Well, haven’t heard that one yet, but it’ll be here any day now.
    Obama has a Secret Plan to make the End of Days from the movie “2012” become a reality? Oh, yeah! Now we’re talkin’!

    See, the insanity is only limited by your imagination or your intestinal fortitude (a/k/a how sick of an idea you can think of without puking).

    With any luck, you too can have your own EIB radio show, or cable TV show.

    So, Doug, smack yo’self upside the head, and get back in the game. Another post like this, and we may have to replace you with Jonah.

  26. 26.

    Comrade Mary

    And Doug, do you really have to disrespect the president with your choice of category? That’s just hurtful.

  27. 27.

    Paul in KY

    Hey Freelancer, sorry I got you there. I liked the ‘Mr. Tibbs’ one too! Hope we’re brightening your day a little.

  28. 28.

    eric

    @4tehlulz: i am not familiar with this facet of End Times theology, but shouldn’t the anti-christ be neatly trimmed in the tradition of the Jews?

    Does this “undercut” that theory?

    eric

  29. 29.

    Davis X. Machina

    I’m waiting for certain websites-that-shall-not-be-named announce that this is just another reason why we should have nominated Sen. Clinton.

  31. 31.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @DougJ:

    You do know it’s sarcasm, right?

    I support your cat choice DougJ. There is a war on irony going on peoples.

  32. 32.

    SFAW

    I’m waiting for the day he’s on camera, and says “Excuse me while I whip this out …”

  33. 33.

    DougJ

    You do know it’s sarcasm, right?

    I actually deleted that comment when I got the “Hoot-Smalley” joke being made by Comrade Mary.

  34. 34.

    Rommie

    The distortion of reality from crossing the Wingnut Event Horizon is taking hold. What’s next, the President letting his goatee grow out?

  37. 37.

    Leelee for Obama

    I would think that if he was un-, that would dash the idea of his muslim-ness as that is a rite of passage for Muslims as well as Jews. In WW2, that’s how the Nazis knew their own-only the turtleneck would do.

    I’m not gonna laugh, cause this is really mental illness at work here.

  38. 38.

    shelley matheis

    OMIGod, I first saw this over at Crooks and Liars. Just too too funny. And they had a cache of feverish emails supposedly circulated among these crotch-obsessed cretins.

  39. 39.

    Deborah

    I have noticed that the right wing spends a huge amount of time visualizing gay sex, mostly in the context of Obama forcibly sodomizing them. So, can’t say I’m surprised at this development.

  40. 40.

    SpotWeld

    …. Mel Brooks couldn’t come up with this.

    All that’s missing is Mongo and a nice big batch of campfire beans.

  42. 42.

    licensed to kill time

    Ok, it’s a weird sensation to be laughing so hard and fuming at the same time. What further indignation can they dream up to subject Obama to? Perhaps a public colonoscopy to make sure he’s not hiding that birth certificate in a deep dark place?

  45. 45.

    Shinobi

    And coming in at #1 under “Things I never really thought much about before the right wing brought it up and now that I have thought about them I really wish I could go back in time”

    The president’s dick.

  46. 46.

    MacsenMifune

    Hate to burst their bubble but Muslims circumcise too. See Islam is part of this funny little thing called the Abrahamic religions which shock of shocks includes Judaism and Christianity. So there might be some similarities between the faiths.

  48. 48.

    Dave L

    Okay, then…

    Of course, if he’s NOT circumcised, he can’t be Muslim.

    The Insane Posse are going to have to face some hard choices.

  49. 49.

    b.

    @Comrade Mary:
    Yeah, from what my mother said once (why did I ever get on these topics with her? Info I could have lived w/o knowing……), my parents decided that (since my father = the son of Scottish immigrants who didn’t bother to have him circumsized) they wouldn’t have my brother done, either…… a pasty-as-white-as-can-be male born in the late 1960s.

    ‘Course that was that almost-Commie Massachusetts, though…..

  50. 50.

    4tehlulz

    @MacsenMifune: Christians don’t cut; it’s just an American fixation with “cleanliness” that led to most boys here being circumcised.

    They’re just trying to show that since he isn’t circumcised, he wasn’t born in teh USA; the muslin angle is not in play here.

  51. 51.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Holder to Appoint Special Prosecutor

    Concern Trolls. All of you can kiss my rumpus.

    I mean that in a nice way”–)

  52. 52.

    The Bearded Blogger

    My fellow republicans: Barack Obama’s presidency will be a long, strong, stiff, dark threat to American values and to the republic itself. If we do not contain this threat, Obama will continue to thrust his liberal policies, over and over again, so deep that the republic will not recover. We must stop this tall black man before his throbbing presidency…

    God I need a cigarrette

  53. 53.

    joes527

    So, this brings up a question I’ve had for a while. Are there any legitimate posters on FreeRepublic, or are they ALL trolls, spending their days trying to out troll each other?

    Because that seems to be the most believable explanation.

  54. 54.

    Da Bomb

    Putting a new twist to the phrase “Black Snake Moan”

    Hee-Hee. I made a little wee-wee.

  55. 55.

    Warren Terra

    @ Shabadoo, #15

    And he’d better show us the long form, nothing else will do.

    This line was inevitable.

  56. 56.

    Brachiator

    I have to admit that I didn’t see this coming, but in retrospect, it was obvious, especially after 8 17 years of obsessing about the Clenis. And, yeah, you can bet they’re going to demand visual evidence.

    What a bunch of dicks.

  58. 58.

    Joshua Norton

    Ah, these cwazy wingnuts and their hawt Mandingo fantasies.

    They want him so bad they’re about to explode with wanton lust.

    There’s no other reason for their perpetual fixations with men’s crotches.

  59. 59.

    MacsenMifune

    4tehlulz, yes I know that its more an American thing than Christan, example the catholic church outlawed it in the middle ages. My point is that to strengthen their claim he wasn’t born in American they have now weakened their other screed that he is a secret Muslim. Not that this matters to these people at all.

  60. 60.

    Davis X. Machina

    Perhaps a public colonoscopy to make sure he’s not hiding that birth certificate in a deep dark place?

    Rumors of a presidential colonoscopy were dismissed by White House officials as “baseless innuendo. If you know what I mean. In.U.End.O. Heh”

  62. 62.

    licensed to kill time

    Mmm, mmm, black snake crawlin’ in my room
    Mmm, mmm, black snake crawlin’ in my room
    Some pretty freeper better come and get this black snake soon

  64. 64.

    slippy

    OK. Can the national media FINALLY put the clown shoes on the Obama critics and admit that their concerns are nothing but a fucking stupid joke?

    I mean JESUS! What is wrong with these people?

    Every day I come home to my shared residence with my fiancee. My 16-yo stepson-to-be greets me with the single-word utterance, “Penis.” I usually try to answer wittily in return.

    So, our national discussion on the legitimacy of the Obama Presidency is being driven by 16-year-olds now, apparently.

  65. 65.

    Ann B. Nonymous

    Wait for the human biodiversity fart people to show up with the J. Philippe Rushton quote: “It’s a trade off, more brains or more penis. You can’t have everything.”

  66. 66.

    Tsulagi

    From the minds of wingnuts. Just when you think you have a handle on their level of stupid, they call bullshit. How long before they fixate on saying “If he would just whip it out he could end the debate”?

    And you just know, even if he did (I’d suggest doing so in front of a respected blue hair org like Daughters of the Confederacy), if he is circumcised they would insist he did so after becoming president to destroy the evidence. They would hold classes in cock kerning.

  68. 68.

    BDeevDad

    These idiots have also never met a Jew, since we don’t get snipped until we are 8 days old, usually at home or a relative’s house with a party to follow.

  70. 70.

    Demo Woman

    @Mike in NC: Look as difficult an assignment as this is, I feel that it is my duty to volunteer. Maybe I should change my name to “Real American Woman”

  71. 71.

    kay

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    They’re off lobbying the prosecutor. BUT in a completely non-political and appropriate way :)
    I don’t think you can be the AG and leak that you were “disgusted” reading an intelligence report over a long weekend and then NOT appoint a special prosecutor.
    He’s going to get attacked from both sides, the Left and the Right and the pundits, and I for one, will back him up. That’s sort of a lonely job. Everyone will hate him before this is over.

  73. 73.

    burnspbesq

    I suppose it is an unintended consequence of the recession that far too many wingnuts have far too much time on their hands. Good grief, do they want Obama to deploy his ballistic missile in their silos?

  74. 74.

    Anne Laurie

    @Mike in NC:

    Brick Oven Bill will demand to personally inspect it.

    No hands, BoB. Not even in your own pants.

    Also, I look forward (not) to the arrival of the “Male Genital Mutilation” activists showing up to share many, many 10,000-word anti-circumcision diatribes, with links. And possibly pictures.

  75. 75.

    burnspbesq

    @kay:

    “and I for one, will back him up. That’s sort of a lonely job. Everyone will hate him before this is over.”

    Not everyone. But this does bring to mind a line from one of my favorite Bruce Cockburn songs:

    “Everybody
    Wants to see
    Justice done
    On somebody else.”

  76. 76.

    kay

    Everyone is going to jeer at me, but in my personal experience you can’t really work effectively for 12 or 14 or 16 hours a day without a break, for months, and that’s what they have been working.
    I think they’re making mistakes because they’re exhausted and burnt out. I think good work without rest is sort of a myth we’ve been sold, and people just plain suck at their jobs when they’re really tired.
    So, I would ask these repulsive conservatives to stop staring at the President’s crotch and let him have a vacation, in peace.

  77. 77.

    freelancer

    @Anne Laurie:

    Also, I look forward (not) to the arrival of the “Male Genital Mutilation” activists showing up to share many, many 10,000-word anti-circumcision diatribes, with links. And possibly pictures.

    and Lindsay Funke’s HOOP:

    It’s a doberman, let it have it’s ears!

  80. 80.

    scarshapedstar

    Also, I look forward (not) to the arrival of the “Male Genital Mutilation” activists showing up to share many, many 10,000-word anti-circumcision diatribes, with links. And possibly pictures.

    What the fuck ever. You know in the Vagina Monologues where the women all cheer about how the clitoris has twice (“TWICE!”) as many nerve endings as the penis? Well, it seems kinda like a shitty thing to bring up when a male’s first experience is having half of the nerve endings in his penis lopped off without his permission. How the hell is that fair?

  84. 84.

    Joshua Norton

    And yet the Dems don’t have the same fixation about old white repugs shriveled thingies (brrrrrrrr). As far as I’m concerned, they’re all as smooth as Ken dolls down there.

    Which is probably closer to the reality of the situation than I care to know about.

  85. 85.

    The Moar You Know

    You will note that not once in recorded history has anyone asked to see a Republican’s cock.

    I’m just sayin’.

  88. 88.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @J. Michael Neal:

    : For the purposes of this thread, shouldn’t you be General Winfield Suck?

    I’m no where near that easy. But you can still kiss my rumpus.

  89. 89.

    kay

    @burnspbesq:

    That is really funny. I testified for the state this summer, which was just bizarre, but I witnessed the event and the jerks subpeoned me, and they had the sheriff serve personally on a Saturday when I was hanging clothes on the line wearing my pajamas. Which I SO appreciated.

  92. 92.

    Demo Woman

    @kay: Don’t you work in PA? I was just reading about the latest appeal about the judges who were sending Juviniles to boot camps for kickbacks having their plea bargain thrown out.

  94. 94.

    Calouste

    @burnspbesq:

    Considering that in a lot of wingnuts there hides a repressed homsexual, it is a bonanza for them: they can spew hate and talk about, uh, ballistic missiles, at the same times.

  95. 95.

    CaseyL

    Considering the nutjobs *did* obsess over the Clenis for oh so very long, I’m not sure how much their latest dingdong wingding is about how black men have bigger better cocks and how much it’s about how non-wingnuts in general have bigger better cocks… and better sex lives all round, usually. (Because non-wingnuts don’t spend a whole lot of time hating whichever half the human species they’re sexually attracted to.)

    There needs to be a Dem/Lefty version of the saying “Once you go black, you never go back.”

  96. 96.

    kay

    @Demo Woman:

    I don’t, I work in Ohio. I haven’t followed the PA case, although I should have. Right before school starts, I do this frantic push to get my detainees out so they can go to school. They don’t generally graduate high school if they’re detained and taking the in-detention center courses, because the in-detention center courses are a sorry joke, and they’re just screwed for life if they don’t graduate at that age.

    It can’t be up on appeal yet? Last time I looked, they were just charged, and if they plead, they don’t get an appeal.

  99. 99.

    Jay in Oregon

    @Tsulagi:

    From the minds of wingnuts. Just when you think you have a handle on their level of stupid, they call bullshit. How long before they fixate on saying “If he would just whip it out he could end the debate”?

    Memo to Andrew Sullivan and other “I’m-not-a-birther-but” concern trolls: This is why you don’t just go along with birther idiocy.

  100. 100.

    Deborah

    @burnspbesq: Good grief, do they want Obama to deploy his ballistic missile in their silos?
    Yes. There’s a reason that they keep going on and on about being sodomized by the president, and it’s not an inability to construct metaphors.

  102. 102.

    b-psycho

    Keep this in mind: the same people barking about this are part of a cultural group much more likely, on average, to be super homophobic…

  104. 104.

    Singularity

    First, this entire line of bullshit is predicated on something that Larry Sinclair said. This is the guy who claims he did coke in a limo with Obama before they had sex. Um, there’s a smart peg to hang your hat on, wingnuts.

    Second, whether the president is circumcized or not is really nobody’s business except Michelle Obama’s. My personal belief is that anyone who asks this question should be required to drop their pants and display their own status first.

  105. 105.

    Ash Can

    @4tehlulz: Mark Foley is one o’ them Dimmicrat pree-verts, yew dumb libtard. Everyone who watches Fox News knows that.

    Seriously, though, I’m waiting for the next time Michelle Obama makes a public appearance, and some wild-eyed birther stands up and loudly starts asking questions. Ms. O will walk over to the press corps and politely request that they turn off their cameras for a few minutes, at which point said birther had better start praying on bended knee for a public option.

  106. 106.

    YellowJournalism

    @Ash Can: Part of me would love to see that happen, the other part of me would be embarrassed for our nation that someone would even think to ask the first lady about her husband’s penis tip.

    This all makes me wonder, though, what they would be damanding of Hillary if she’d been elected president.

  108. 108.

    smiley

    @YellowJournalism:

    This all makes me wonder, though, what they would be damanding of Hillary if she’d been elected president.

    Good gawd. It’d be the ’90s all over again. Everything. Vince Foster, file “gate”, travel “gate”, um.., health care, Monica, Bill, etc. We really dodged a bullet on that one. Not to worry, though, Clinton Derangement Syndrome is still alive and well:

    http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/2009/08/is-hillary-clinton-less-powerful-now-than-she-was-in-the-senate.html

  109. 109.

    lawnorder

    You will note that not once in recorded history has anyone asked to see a Republican’s cock

    No Democrats… Mark Foley did.

  110. 110.

    Lamont Cranston

    It should be called the Oenis. As in “Obama penis.” As in “the onus Oenis is on you to prove you’re a citizen.”

  111. 111.

    asiangrrlMN

    This thread is cracking me the fuck up. The picture over at C & L was very nice, too. Good god. I can’t believe how much time the rightwingnutters spend obsessing about Democrat presidents’ penii! (Yes, I know it’s not a word, and I don’t care).

    How about something simple for the nickname–like plain ol’ Shaft?

  115. 115.

    smiley

    For the sake of balance, I’d like to ask the wimmin folks here the following: In my growing-up days, girls who wore falsies generally tended to try to keep up the illusion all the time. I’ve noticed that over the last 10 years or so, however, that women just don’t bother. One day you’ll see a young woman who seems to be a 36D and the next day she’s a 32A. Not a complaint, just an observation. Their boy friends (not boyfriends) see it too. I guess nobody cares anymore, which is good. Is that true? And yes, I look at women’s chests – sue me. Let the flames begin…

  116. 116.

    LindaH

    So, the same people who practically passed out from the shock of seeing Janet Jackson’s nipple for two seconds, now want the President of the United States to whip out his schlong on national TV? I hope they will at least wait until after the family hour.

  117. 117.

    smiley

    @smiley:

    And yes, I look at women’s chests

    If I had an edit function (yeah, I know…) I would have changed that to noticed women’s chests.

  118. 118.

    Steeplejack

    @Ann B. Nonymous:

    This reminds me of my brother’s taxonomy of Navy types:

    – Airedales (pilots): All dick, no brains.

    – Squids (submariners): All brains, no dick.

    – Skimmers (surface fleet, of which my brother was a member, natch): Perfect 50-50 blend.

  120. 120.

    Rosali

    @Jay in Oregon:
    Memo to Andrew Sullivan and other “I’m-not-a-birther-but” concern trolls: This is why you don’t just go along with birther idiocy.

    Actually, I think Sully would love to be out on the forefront of this issue.

  121. 121.

    Tsulagi

    Well, it seems thinking of dick has gone viral in the nuttersphere. From RSSF Commander EE who admittedly dreams about rough men at the ready… Barack Obama Wants to Eradicate Death Panels: Where Death Panel is a Euphemism for Foreskin

    He seems to be a bit conflicted between the possibility in his mind of government mandated circumcisions since everything during an Obama administration is bad, yet the procedure itself is a “God ordained act,” which of course is good. Maybe he’ll get down on his knees to consult with men of the cloth and rough men at the ready for guidance. Again.

  122. 122.

    Little Dreamer

    @4tehlulz:

    Christians don’t cut; it’s just an American fixation with “cleanliness” that led to most boys here being circumcised.

    That sort of puts the lie to that whole “you shall be my people” thing here if Americans aren’t really chosen of God and yet they carry the sign of chosenness. Hmmm?

    They’re just trying to show that since he isn’t circumcised, he wasn’t born in teh USA; the muslin angle is not in play here.

    I once was married to an uncircumcised American male. These dipshits have no clue what they are talking about.

  123. 123.

    SFAW

    One of Erick son-of-Erick’s commenters came up with this gem:

    “But you have to pay for your tonsils with your foreskin. ”

    Given the proclivities of the RedStaters, I think he meant
    “You have to play on my tonsils with your foreskin”

    But I could be wrong.

  124. 124.

    Little Dreamer

    @smiley:

    Smiley,

    You obviously aren’t a woman. I have several different bras, some of which can make me look fairly flat chested and others that make me look quite voluptuous. It’s the variety of sizing, cut and fit in each of a woman’s bras that determine how big a woman’s breasts look on any given day.

    If you wear tight fitting jeans, don’t you see more shape to your leg than if you don’t? Think about it.

  125. 125.

    Comrade Darkness

    @SFAW: Maybe it’s a reference to the dollar value of the stem skin cells collected from infant circumcisions, which are put to various medical uses.

    Or more likely it’s just confused.

  126. 126.

    asiangrrlMN

    @smiley: Don’t know as I have more than ample boobage of my own that I don’t need to pad it out. But, Little Dreamer is right in that different bras give different support, making the same woman’s chest look many different sizes.

  128. 128.

    smiley

    @Little Dreamer: @asiangrrlMN:
    Um, no I’m not a woman. However, as a college professor I’m around 17-23 year old women all day every day (most college students, especially psychology majors, are women). I have sisters. What I described in my original comment is true. Yes, I’m aware that different bras make busts look different – a bunch of padding makes a big difference. I actually have personal experience handling them (both bras and breasts). However, now days young women don’t seem to have a problem going from big to small to big to small again. Just an observation and not meant as a comment on anything. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just another way the current younger generation differs from their their predecessors.

  129. 129.

    scarshapedstar

    Smiley, I think Little Dreamer is just saying that boobies can appear larger or smaller even if the amount of “padding” remains the same or is, indeed, nonexistent. They’re not even cheating!

  130. 130.

    tootiredoftheright

    “These idiots have also never met a Jew, since we don’t get snipped until we are 8 days old, usually at home or a relative’s house with a party to follow.”

    And if you belong to certain sects a rabbi will then suck the infant penis therby possibly infecting the infant with a disease that will kill the infant but that is okay with the sect members until the authorities arrest the rabbi then they all scream that they are being oppressed.

  131. 131.

    jim

    What in the world does one call these people?

    Schlongers? Skinners? Wangers?

    They sure found a, um, UNIQUE way to distract people from the antics of Orly “Ask Me About My Online Degree” Taitz … wow, what a total cock-up.

  132. 132.

    Waynski

    What’s particularly wingnutty about their commentary is the belief that somehow boys were routinely circumcized without parental permission. I was born in 1967 and am the proud owner of a turtleneck, because as another poster pointed out, my father was too. That the doctor would just pull you away from your mother and cut you without permission is preposterous on it’s face, but if it advances their story line, it’s now a fact.

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