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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Dear Everyone In France

Dear Everyone In France

by | 45 Comments

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I understand that only tourists and the hopelessly gauche wear shoes with more substance than the leather socks that Uma Thurman sported in Kill Bill. Honestly, it’s cool. The look beats suspenders and short broad ties on girls, photos of which I understand my wife will kill to suppress. Plus it gives people with collapsed arches (e.g., me) an entertainingly trivial reason to feel like an oppressed minority.

However. You can wear vulcanized shrink wrap, or you can cultivate winking retro cool with Converse All Stars. You cannot do both. Shrunk down designer form-fitting All-Stars do not look cool and they’re too expensive and obviously a la mode to pass for ironic anti-cool. Considering that the wide-sole form factor is a key part of the shoe’s image, shrinking an All-Star down makes you look like a victim of Chinese foot binding.

Also, restaurant toilets should have seats.

Also x2: The food is fantastic. If I do not gain weight on this trip my in-laws will be extremely disappointed.

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  2. 2.

    Cat Lady

    Link to shoes, plz.

    Yes, on my first trip to Paris I spent most of my time looking down at feet, in between eating at the cafes and looking at shoes in stores. Americans look like a different species of human with their sneakers and ball caps, and additional 50 lbs.

  4. 4.

    Cat Lady

    Oh christ on a toast point with the moderation for s h o e s. The friggin’ post is about s h o e s.

  10. 10.

    Cat Lady

    @ellaesther:

    Dunno – I get the dick drug problem in soshulism, but s h o e s? Happens every time. Why can’t we talk about S H O E S?! WHY?

  12. 12.

    Walker

    Also x2: The food is fantastic. If I do not gain weight on this trip my in-laws will be extremely disappointed.

    The wife and I are currently in France at a conference. And we would quibble with you on this. The food in Belgium is infinitely superior.

  14. 14.

    ellaesther

    @Cat Lady: Maybe it’s an effort to keep the “cute s h o e s!” contingent out. My experience elsewhere on the tubez informs me that people can get quite exercised about those who may want to wax banal about footwear…. But as we very rarely see footwear in this blog, I can’t imagine this would be an actual problem!

    I say: S h o e s for Tunch, and then lift the filters! I see him in a nice slipper.

  16. 16.

    SGEW

    @Walker:

    The food in Belgium is infinitely superior.

    Thems fightin’ words!

    Then again, de gustibus non est disputandum: I see your European cuisine and raise you Japan.

  18. 18.

    Tsulagi

    Great, tonight I can tell my SO she is now uncool and her footwear choices passé. Since there’s a foot height difference between us when we go out she almost always wears 4-inch heels. Don’t think she’ll let me gloat, she’ll probably just say “Fuck the French.”

  19. 19.

    nevsky42

    Having visited both Belgium and France, I can tell you this food debate would be a complex one and I would happily accept a travel grant to research and solve this issue once and for all.

  20. 20.

    Zach

    Hey I sort of like half the $100/pr or so fashion line of all stars that you see now and then in department stores. I picked up a pair of black matte leather ones on super clearance somewhere, even. I can’t really imagine shrinking the shoe, though.

  21. 21.

    Morbo

    Not so much moderation as spam filtering. Ads for knockoffs are ubiquitous in unmoderated places

  22. 22.

    Jim

    I’m so unfashionable and out of touch that, even though I go to France at least twice a year, wearing my sensible multi-purpose brown leather lace up good-for- walking shoes, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  24. 24.

    eastriver

    Sacre bleu, the food in NYC kicks the food in Paris in the balls. Belgium? Good frites.

    Next.

  25. 25.

    Francis

    There are excellent astronomically priced restaurants in all the major cities around the globe. Where the french kick everyone’s ass sideways everyday of the week and twice on Sundays is the superb quality of the middle tier restaurants. If you are willing to be polite and vaguely embarrassed about your inability to speak french, you can even get excellent service. Speaking english louder will only make the chef spit in your soup.

  26. 26.

    ellaesther

    @Morbo: LALALA I can’t hear you! I’m going to choose to believe that Cole has a fear of s h o e s, and s h o e-loving commenters. Prove me wrong! It’s in the health care bill!

  28. 28.

    Poopyman

    Lemme test a hypothesis.

    Can we talk about garden implements? Like hoes? If not, that could explain the s h o e problem.

  29. 29.

    Puff

    France has this thing about public toilets not having seats. Does this save money or something? If it were just a hole in the floor, I could understand cost savings.

  30. 30.

    scav

    Who bothers to eat in Belgium? There are vitamins enough in the beer. And put me solidly in the camp of the middle tier restos in France camp. Albeit I stomp whenever possible near Siran as there’s rather more grapes and fewer people there than in Carcassonne.

  31. 31.

    Barbara

    The wonderful thing about France is that if you are walking around like the French do you can eat just like the French and not gain weight!

    I went to France for 10 days earlier this summer and didn’t gain (or lose) an ounce, and ate every course offered, including cheese, amuse bouche, dessert and wine.

    I went to the beach for three days a few weeks ago and gained three pounds.

    Eat your heart out!

  35. 35.

    Joel

    As good a place as any.

    Café du Marché on the rue Cler, “va te faire foutre!”

    (Don’t go there, for anyone looking for recommendations)

  42. 42.

    DZ

    I live near Pau in the SW of France 4-5 months per year. It’s Basque country. No food like this in Belgium even though I like Belgian food.

  44. 44.

    Annamal

    Hi DZ,

    I flew into Pau last year to start the Camino Aragonese (I took a train to Oloron st marie and walked from there), seemed like a really lovely place and the food all around was absolutely wonderful.

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