Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

The willow is too close to the house.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

Infrastructure week. at last.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Everybody saw this coming.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

You are here: Home / Politics / War on Terror / War on Terror aka GSAVE® / Looking in the Mirror

Reader Interactions

52Comments

  2. 2.

    SGEW

    “We could use Griffons, but we don’t use Griffons, and that’s what separates us from the terrorists.”

    Spot on.

  3. 3.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Lmao. That video is a national treasure. The Minotaur was only 11 feet tall, not the reported 20. Perfecto!

  5. 5.

    Faux News

    There is something very erotic to that photo (according to our Republican Faux News viewers). Let me just say that if there is ANY Minotaur on man sex about to happen former Senator Rick Santorum (Wignut-PA) will be on it right away!

    Not with OUR tax dollars you liberal hippies!

  6. 6.

    Tim

    The Onion hits it again. Between the Onion and the Daily Show, I don’t see much of a reason to check the “respectable” news sources anymore.

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    @Tim: Cheers to that. If I’m going to listen to a paid actors blather nonsense disguised as news stories between expensive graphic animations and goofy commercials, at least let the actors be comedians.

  8. 8.

    joe from Lowell

    John Yoo’s often-misunderstood Minotaur Memo was actually an effort to clarify what sorts of Minotaur attacks went beyond the law.

    The definitively proves that the goring, trampling, and axe-boarding were legal, moonbats.

  9. 9.

    joe from Lowell

    BR,

    I read that story at the time, and thought it was way overboard.

    Giant deficits? Another Iraq War? I thought they were laying it on a little thick.

    Heh heh. Heh. Heh.

    Sob.

  11. 11.

    Tim

    Re: the preview photo, I thought the video was going to be about Randall Terry’s group pretending to kill a senior citizen to pay for health care.

    The Moran town hall was the last stop on a 10-city tour for Randall Terry, the anti-abortion activist known for his extreme tactics.

    Terry’s colleagues put on a skit with a man in an Obama mask pretending to whip a bloodied woman, who kept saying, “Massa, don’t hit me no more. I got the money to kill the babies.”

    Terry himself dressed in a doctor’s lab coat and pretended to stab a woman in a gray wig.

    “There’s no way to pay for this thing without killing granny,” Terry explained.

    (from
    The Hill    )

  13. 13.

    tgeb

    You goddamn dimlibs, minotaur goring is no worse than a purple nurple. Also it is an essential part of our national defense and we would all be killed by the sand elves if not for our brave CIA demigods and their unstoppable killing machin… er “Enhanced Questing Techniques.”

    I say we give all the minotaurs enchanted battle axes and let our ۥnd amendment loving citizens carry them onto airplanes as carry-on luggage.

  14. 14.

    smiley

    OT and personal but have any of the academics here ever been contacted by an academic headhunter? I was today. I’m just a lowly professor (associate) at a fairly obscure regional private university (though I’m fairly well known in my obscure field of study). They contacted me about whether or not they can market me as a possible department head at other universities. I told them I’d get back to them. Curious.

  15. 15.

    Violet

    “…but you have to remember what it was like after 9/11.”

    “That flesh-hungry half-man, half-bull kept us safe from the terrorists.”

    “Frankly I think it’s sad that the words ‘neverending labyrinth of pain’ are synonymous with one loose cannon minotaur.”

    Holy cow, this is spot on. Did they take those lines straight from the cable blab-fests?

    @Tim: Agreed. Who needs “real” news when the fake news does better reporting.

  17. 17.

    smiley

    @Tim: Blockquote does not like paragraphs. Remove the spaces between paragraphs or add additional [p] tags. I find the former a lot easier.

  18. 18.

    Tim

    @smiley: I’m not really an academic, just a HS teacher, but that sounds pretty exciting. Regardless of what happens, it’s gotta feel good to be noticed.

  20. 20.

    SGEW

    @freelancer: Nope. I still remember reading the copy of that article my friend from Colorado gave me – that was when I knew that we were truly fucked.

    We warned you! We warned you all! But did you listen?!?

  23. 23.

    Leelee for Obama

    @SGEW: Molly Ivins tried before the election, and I wouldn’t have voted for GWB at gunpoint, in any case. The Onion has now lapped reality so many times I’m a bit dizzy. They are wicked clever.

  24. 24.

    Ann B. Nonymous

    Incredible attention to detail. The minotaur has a memoir (of course), Labyrinth of Secrecy, by Asterion with Robert Brinks.

    The ONN came up with a historically accurate minotaur name, a plausible fake ghostwriter’s name, a book cover mockup using exactly the right typeface for that sort of political expose, and then they dubbed it with a sample from the audiobook, ‘courtesy of Simon and Schuster’: incomprehensible taurine snorts and bellows. In response, the former Bush administration figure scoffs, “that’s completely unsubstantiated.”

    But my favorite still is ‘Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested in Manslaughter Loopholes’.

  25. 25.

    lamh31

    Watching the public viewing of Senator Kennedy’s body. Much of the family, including Ted Kennedy’s wife Vicky, is still there, and are greeting the public mourners as they come in. They are even going so far as to give the mourners hugs if they ask.

    For all their quirks, and richness, that family stays classy when it comes to public service.

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    @Zifnab:

    IIRC, the Onion hires people with journalism experience to do their TV segments because the cadence of TV news is very specific. That’s how they can get things so spot-on. I think that at least some of their actors still do the news on small local stations in the Midwest.

  28. 28.

    smiley

    @Tim:

    I’m not really an academic, just a HS teacher…

    Please don’t describe yourself as “just a HS teacher.” We depend on you. Every layer builds on the previous. You have a tough job. How often to you catch your students texting while you teach? I catch it often. I don’t know where you are but please keep trying to teach them. They don’t know how much you’re trying to help them. Maybe they will one day. Keep trying to be Mister Holland. I am, but with limited success.

  31. 31.

    joes527

    No laughs at the video. It is way too accurate to be funny.

    I’m still in awe of what the Onion did after 9/11. The “Holy Fucking Shit” edition was an amazing mix of humanity and satire. Those guys are genius.

  32. 32.

    Laura W

    Depressing?
    That was the funniest thing I’ve seen/read/heard all day! I snorted into my hands, it was so good! It takes a lot of snark for me to snort into my hands, just so you know how high that particular bar is.

    LauraW, + 2.5

    Everything is incremental.

  35. 35.

    beabea

    @Mnemosyne

    Would the reverse also be true? Because it sure seems as if CNN hires people with Onion experience. Except maybe they were let go by the Onion because the CNN people are absurdly non-funny.

  37. 37.

    handy

    Classic! I didn’t know the Geneva Convention prohibits axe-wielding bovine monsters with teeth over 9 “.

  40. 40.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @pcbedamned:

    Actually, Captain Ed and Co’s newest talking point is that Obamacare is going to pressure people to circumcise their male children

    That Ed, Pun Master.

    which will result in de facto diktats,

  46. 46.

    Tim

    @smiley: Smiley, thanks for getting me told. As the year begins (at my new job, no less), it felt good to be upbraided like that.

  47. 47.

    Martian Buddy

    @pcbedamned: I’d feel a lot more comfortable laughing at that if I didn’t have this sinking feeling that “ACORN will hack your son’s foreskin off with a rusty butter knife” will be the next variation of the birther/deather insanity.

  49. 49.

    hamletta

    @freelancer: Oh, no dear. That was in real time.

    I thought it was over the top myself. Molly Ivins had written a “just lie back and think of England” column, and I thought, well, how much harm can he do?

    Like joe from Lowell says, “haha. Sob.”

  50. 50.

    Redhand

    The part about Dick Cheney’s reported personal involvement in planning the labyrinth was absolutely priceless.

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