Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The Supreme Court is corrupt. Democrats must win in November and force court reform.

It could be worse. Vance could have said “post-menopausal sows.” Waiting for that audiotape to surface.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

The problem people have with Biden’s age is the color of the VPs skin.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

You cannot shame the shameless.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

“But what about the lurkers?”

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

He really is that stupid.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Let there be snark.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

You are here: Home / Politics / War on Terror / War on Terror aka GSAVE® / Looking in the Mirror

Reader Interactions

52Comments

  2. 2.

    SGEW

    “We could use Griffons, but we don’t use Griffons, and that’s what separates us from the terrorists.”

    Spot on.

  3. 3.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Lmao. That video is a national treasure. The Minotaur was only 11 feet tall, not the reported 20. Perfecto!

  5. 5.

    Faux News

    There is something very erotic to that photo (according to our Republican Faux News viewers). Let me just say that if there is ANY Minotaur on man sex about to happen former Senator Rick Santorum (Wignut-PA) will be on it right away!

    Not with OUR tax dollars you liberal hippies!

  6. 6.

    Tim

    The Onion hits it again. Between the Onion and the Daily Show, I don’t see much of a reason to check the “respectable” news sources anymore.

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    @Tim: Cheers to that. If I’m going to listen to a paid actors blather nonsense disguised as news stories between expensive graphic animations and goofy commercials, at least let the actors be comedians.

  8. 8.

    joe from Lowell

    John Yoo’s often-misunderstood Minotaur Memo was actually an effort to clarify what sorts of Minotaur attacks went beyond the law.

    The definitively proves that the goring, trampling, and axe-boarding were legal, moonbats.

  9. 9.

    joe from Lowell

    BR,

    I read that story at the time, and thought it was way overboard.

    Giant deficits? Another Iraq War? I thought they were laying it on a little thick.

    Heh heh. Heh. Heh.

    Sob.

  11. 11.

    Tim

    Re: the preview photo, I thought the video was going to be about Randall Terry’s group pretending to kill a senior citizen to pay for health care.

    The Moran town hall was the last stop on a 10-city tour for Randall Terry, the anti-abortion activist known for his extreme tactics.

    Terry’s colleagues put on a skit with a man in an Obama mask pretending to whip a bloodied woman, who kept saying, “Massa, don’t hit me no more. I got the money to kill the babies.”

    Terry himself dressed in a doctor’s lab coat and pretended to stab a woman in a gray wig.

    “There’s no way to pay for this thing without killing granny,” Terry explained.

    (from
    The Hill    )

  13. 13.

    tgeb

    You goddamn dimlibs, minotaur goring is no worse than a purple nurple. Also it is an essential part of our national defense and we would all be killed by the sand elves if not for our brave CIA demigods and their unstoppable killing machin… er “Enhanced Questing Techniques.”

    I say we give all the minotaurs enchanted battle axes and let our ۥnd amendment loving citizens carry them onto airplanes as carry-on luggage.

  14. 14.

    smiley

    OT and personal but have any of the academics here ever been contacted by an academic headhunter? I was today. I’m just a lowly professor (associate) at a fairly obscure regional private university (though I’m fairly well known in my obscure field of study). They contacted me about whether or not they can market me as a possible department head at other universities. I told them I’d get back to them. Curious.

  15. 15.

    Violet

    “…but you have to remember what it was like after 9/11.”

    “That flesh-hungry half-man, half-bull kept us safe from the terrorists.”

    “Frankly I think it’s sad that the words ‘neverending labyrinth of pain’ are synonymous with one loose cannon minotaur.”

    Holy cow, this is spot on. Did they take those lines straight from the cable blab-fests?

    @Tim: Agreed. Who needs “real” news when the fake news does better reporting.

  17. 17.

    smiley

    @Tim: Blockquote does not like paragraphs. Remove the spaces between paragraphs or add additional [p] tags. I find the former a lot easier.

  18. 18.

    Tim

    @smiley: I’m not really an academic, just a HS teacher, but that sounds pretty exciting. Regardless of what happens, it’s gotta feel good to be noticed.

  20. 20.

    SGEW

    @freelancer: Nope. I still remember reading the copy of that article my friend from Colorado gave me – that was when I knew that we were truly fucked.

    We warned you! We warned you all! But did you listen?!?

  23. 23.

    Leelee for Obama

    @SGEW: Molly Ivins tried before the election, and I wouldn’t have voted for GWB at gunpoint, in any case. The Onion has now lapped reality so many times I’m a bit dizzy. They are wicked clever.

  24. 24.

    Ann B. Nonymous

    Incredible attention to detail. The minotaur has a memoir (of course), Labyrinth of Secrecy, by Asterion with Robert Brinks.

    The ONN came up with a historically accurate minotaur name, a plausible fake ghostwriter’s name, a book cover mockup using exactly the right typeface for that sort of political expose, and then they dubbed it with a sample from the audiobook, ‘courtesy of Simon and Schuster’: incomprehensible taurine snorts and bellows. In response, the former Bush administration figure scoffs, “that’s completely unsubstantiated.”

    But my favorite still is ‘Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested in Manslaughter Loopholes’.

  25. 25.

    lamh31

    Watching the public viewing of Senator Kennedy’s body. Much of the family, including Ted Kennedy’s wife Vicky, is still there, and are greeting the public mourners as they come in. They are even going so far as to give the mourners hugs if they ask.

    For all their quirks, and richness, that family stays classy when it comes to public service.

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    @Zifnab:

    IIRC, the Onion hires people with journalism experience to do their TV segments because the cadence of TV news is very specific. That’s how they can get things so spot-on. I think that at least some of their actors still do the news on small local stations in the Midwest.

  28. 28.

    smiley

    @Tim:

    I’m not really an academic, just a HS teacher…

    Please don’t describe yourself as “just a HS teacher.” We depend on you. Every layer builds on the previous. You have a tough job. How often to you catch your students texting while you teach? I catch it often. I don’t know where you are but please keep trying to teach them. They don’t know how much you’re trying to help them. Maybe they will one day. Keep trying to be Mister Holland. I am, but with limited success.

  31. 31.

    joes527

    No laughs at the video. It is way too accurate to be funny.

    I’m still in awe of what the Onion did after 9/11. The “Holy Fucking Shit” edition was an amazing mix of humanity and satire. Those guys are genius.

  32. 32.

    Laura W

    Depressing?
    That was the funniest thing I’ve seen/read/heard all day! I snorted into my hands, it was so good! It takes a lot of snark for me to snort into my hands, just so you know how high that particular bar is.

    LauraW, + 2.5

    Everything is incremental.

  35. 35.

    beabea

    @Mnemosyne

    Would the reverse also be true? Because it sure seems as if CNN hires people with Onion experience. Except maybe they were let go by the Onion because the CNN people are absurdly non-funny.

  37. 37.

    handy

    Classic! I didn’t know the Geneva Convention prohibits axe-wielding bovine monsters with teeth over 9 “.

  40. 40.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @pcbedamned:

    Actually, Captain Ed and Co’s newest talking point is that Obamacare is going to pressure people to circumcise their male children

    That Ed, Pun Master.

    which will result in de facto diktats,

  46. 46.

    Tim

    @smiley: Smiley, thanks for getting me told. As the year begins (at my new job, no less), it felt good to be upbraided like that.

  47. 47.

    Martian Buddy

    @pcbedamned: I’d feel a lot more comfortable laughing at that if I didn’t have this sinking feeling that “ACORN will hack your son’s foreskin off with a rusty butter knife” will be the next variation of the birther/deather insanity.

  49. 49.

    hamletta

    @freelancer: Oh, no dear. That was in real time.

    I thought it was over the top myself. Molly Ivins had written a “just lie back and think of England” column, and I thought, well, how much harm can he do?

    Like joe from Lowell says, “haha. Sob.”

  50. 50.

    Redhand

    The part about Dick Cheney’s reported personal involvement in planning the labyrinth was absolutely priceless.

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