Seriously, whoever stole all the toilet seats should apologize.
Later: I will review a bunch of beers that you cannot have because (as far as I can tell) America does not import them. Leffe “9” is awesome!
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Cat Lady
American bathrooms rule. We are in fact #1, in the #2 business.
MikeJ
@Cat Lady: You’ve never been to Japan. The best terlets in the world.
Mayken
@MikeJ: Squatty potties FTW!
Daranee
I just got back from the Loire Valley and you are so right. But as a man, you only know half of the inconvenience. I would wager that 50% of the toilets I visited had run out of toilet paper. Restaurants, public toilets, museums, etc. They just don’t bother restocking it, it would seem.
And we too drank a lot of leffe. Leffe brun. Leffe blonde. Just Leffe. It was a little embarrassing drinking them in the 50 cl glasses since we were the only ones doing so. I wasn’t dispelling any gluttonous American myths.
MikeJ
@Mayken: I was thinking more of toilets like this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wireless_toilet_control_panel_w._open_lid.jpg
Redstar
Haha hilarious, beer blogging. Ok, now that you are in France, and want to talk beers you can’t get in the US but which have, as we say here, a good “rapport qualite prix” (quality to price ratio?) head away from the Belgium stuff and come back into the French beer from the north. Like the Belgian stuff, lighter on the hops and super fermented and well send you places German beer is just not capable of, but far more…economical (on this score Leffe works too because now it is a global brand, Interbrew has it…)
First stop….”3 Monts” from our side of Flanders. Yes, France also has a part of Flanders and they speak their patois (not cht’i des chn’ords et oui, “Bienvenue chez les cht’is” was filmed not in the nord but in Bergues which is in Flanders not chez les cht’is…peu importe, les autres francais ici comprennent…) . This is a nice full smooth beer, not expensive either like beer from the Belgian side of the border tends to be. And careful,it will knock you silly at 8.5%. You have to come up north for this in a bar but good stores everywhere should have it. Careful also, be sobre when you open the first bottle, it is a very particular type of bottle which the first time you come to it you should have your wits about you, you’ll understand what I mean when you see it.
Next, “La Goudale,” this also in a bar you have to come up north for, but it is even easier than “3 monts” to find in any self respecting store which sells beer. Like “3 monts,” nice, smooth, light on hops, heavy in taste and very very fermented. And you can’t find either in the US no way no how.
And for the third easy find…and really I have no idea why you can’t get this in the US because Heineken bought the brand some time ago and every single American I know who comes to France in my home drinks it out of my fridge faster than I can put it in my fridge (which is a pain because as you noticed, the refrigerators are smaller over here), and it’s “Pelforth Brune”. Maybe in fact this is why Heineken doesn’t export this to the US, they don’t want to undercut the bitter bland beers they export from the home country…fuck Heineken. “Pelforth Brune” is not a great beer, but for a dark beer it goes down about as easily as a Molson Canadian but with a far fuller flavour and, of course, punch. And like Molson (and “La Goudale” for that matter) it has the advantage of coming in the can option which you know always makes a beer taste 2 degrees cooler (or 3.6 degrees fahrenheit for the yanks and rosbifs in the auduence). And a Pelforth you can pretty much find anywhere in France, including every bar especially where they show Rugby on tv.
There are my tips. Of course, you can do better. But, not without a price! Anyway, those who are truly cheap in France stick to the wine, it’s more economical after all.
DZ
If you don’t want to deal with the way the Franch are, don’t go there. AND, learn some French before you go. We sure don’t speak French to those who come here. BTW, Why drink beer in France. The beer in Portland is far better. Drink wine or eau de vie.
Thomas Levenson
Re toilets: consider this an opportunity to strengthen your calf and thigh muscles. Also, carry your own roll, always.
(I got a lot of grief in my early twenties when, after a more than two year saunter around the world, I persisted in my habit of stuffing a roll in my knapsack as I tooled around NY city. The last laugh was mine, of course, as mid ’80s NY was not exactly a mecca of hygiene.)
Beers, dude? I defer to your knowledge and passion, and I love my brews, but France. France, man. They have this stuff that comes in 750ml bottles, and has dates on it, and used to involve well-stuffed individuals with very clean feet going tippytoe through the fruit, that is seriously wonderful. Are you at least trying some?
Redstar
One other France beer-drinking tip, because if you are like me and try to avoid the wine, but are stuck in a part of France where there isn’t a beer culture like up here or in the east, is this: if you are stuck in a bar where they only have bad beer. Like, only 1664 and Karlsbrau and some shitty flavoured beer like Adelscot or Desperados, and then in bottles only shitty beer like Carlsberg or Heineken, no worries. What we do is take the cheapest on tap beer, and ask for a Picon beer. Picon is our bitters, but you add it to the beer, not drink it seperately like elsewhere. And Picon will turn a bad cheap shitty bar beer into a decent one.
For a small price of course.
Mike S
When I was in Nice I found that the condition of the bathrooms was the exact opposite from here at home. The women’s rooms in the nicest places were the dirtiest.
I’d still take French bathrooms over Indonesian one’s. Over flowing holes in the ground just don’t do it for me.
IndyLib
@MikeJ:
I hated, HATED, Japanese public toilets. However the one we had in our house with the heated seat was very nice.
Aaron
I always enjoy a dogfish head, or perhaps a “3 philosophers.” Then again, I don’t even know how good the beer I am NOT having is, so please give me some good recommendations
shelley matheis
Ah, memories. My (so far) one trip to France was back in college. In one lovely bistro I went to the facilities. Beautifully tiled room. A hole in the floor and two engraved footsteps on either side of said hole on the floor for your guidance. I think there was also a hand rail in case your squatting muscles weren’t that toned. Tho in a three week trip, that was the sole encounter.
Demo Woman
The first time that I had Leffe, not 9, was when my son returned from working in Belgium. It was near the X-mas holidays and he was doing his X-mas shopping. He came home with leffe, duval, and candy in gift boxes wrapped. At the time we under a high alert here and you could not have gift wrapped packages. As a mom I was furious about the customs matter but also knew at that time, the homeland security alarms were bogus.
Now I can buy leffe at the Whole Foods. I’m not sure what leffe 9 is though. Why drink Belgium beer in France?
shelley matheis
<blockquote cite=””@Mayken: I was thinking more of toilets like this:
Wow. That thing is more intimidating than the Anti-Gravity toilet in ‘2001.’
Calouste
Leffe is so-so. Westmalle or Rochefort are a lot better.
If you’re near Normandy or Brittany, see if you can find pommeau. It tastes like rich, full-flavored apple juice, but with 17% alcohol.
Daranee
Why drink Belgium beer in France? If you want something other than 1664 Belgium ales take up most of the beer menu. That’s a difference from the last time I went in 2000.
Mojotron
Leffe radieuse is awesome, cuvee des trolls isn’t half-bad, avoid the pernod-beer mix. That is all.
tom
Pelforth. Pelforth is awesome.
Bill E Pilgrim
Well, I see you’ve gone right to the heart of the main difference between the US and France. Er, well or another part of the anatomy.
In my daily cafe someone wrote on the bathroom door, inside: “Where the hell is the toilet seat?” And someone wrote under it “Yankee go home!”
I’ve always found Leffe a good way to get a horrendous hangover, at least if you actually drink more than one and/or are not used to it. It’s all that sweetness, ay yi yi. I think you have to put mayonnaise on it to cut the sugar (inside joke).
There are some great artisanal French beers, are you in Paris? If so, try the “Acadamie des Bieres”, which has an incredible selection, plus moules frites a la creme to die for. It’s on Boulevard de Port-Royal a block or two from the Port-Royal RER station.
Steve LaBonne
The only Leffe beer I know is the Blonde. It tastes rather like liquefied Bazooka chewing gum. Yuck. Whatever 9 is I hope it’s better than that.
Blogreeder
I will review a bunch of beers that you cannot have because (as far as I can tell) America does not import them
I blame the Democrats!
Blogreeder
What happened to the blockquotes I so carefully placed around that quote?
Cat Lady
@Blogreeder: @shelley matheis:
shelley matheis took them.
OriGuy
Beverages & More is a big chain in California and Arizona. Their website lists only three French beers: Kronenbourg 1664, Belzebuth Strong Ale, and St. Amands French Country Ale. Individual store may have more selection. Redstar has expressed an opinion on 1664, any opinion on the others?
They list about 90 Belgian beers, though. The first one is Abbey Leffe Blonde; no other Leffe.
DougN
Leffe is a product of InBev, the largest brewer in the world and is a mass-produced, watered-down version of what Belgian beer really is.
Tim F.
@DZ:
Check, check and check. The only time I speak English here is with the spouse, I love the wine but won’t review it, and you would be crazy to miss some of the beers that they sell here. Thanks for your concern.
@Redstar:
@tom:
Pelforth will definitely get reviewed.
@Calouste:
Rochefort is the shit. The spouse and I already have a couple of bottles to enjoy on the TGV ride back to Paris.
Thlayli
In the early ’80s, Kronenbourg attempted to break into the US market with an ad reading “Europeans like Heineken, but they love Kronenbourg.” Asked about the ad, Heineken’s US distributor replied: “Kronenbourg is the reason the French drink wine.”