Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Bark louder, little dog.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

After roe, women are no longer free.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

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250Comments

  4. 4.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Brick Oven Bill and I decided it would be a hoot.

    Keep him away from the pie. he’s an animal about that stuff, from what I read.

    Since this is an open thread, I’ll throw it out there. I’m not feeling too hot tonight. Relationship problems that would take waaay too long to explain. Anyway, this is looking to be a rough weekend. first one in a while.

    keep talking folks.

  6. 6.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Brick Oven Bill and I decided it would be a hoot.

    Would you like some tea? with your freedom pizza.

  8. 8.

    mai naem

    I seriously have no idea what these 9/12 rallies are about. Is this snark or is it for real?

    In other news, Bradley”Mickey Mouse voice” Schlozman won’t be prosecuted by the DOJ. Maybe if Don Siegelman changed party affiliation, Holder would have him off the hook as well.

  9. 9.

    General Winfield Stuck

    In all seriousness, if any of you are near the million moran march tomorrow, take some pics.

    I’m sure the wingnut blogs will have them ad nauseum. I hope someone brings one with Boltin’ Joe Wilson dressed up as George Washington. I’d pay good money to see that.

  20. 20.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    Hanging out with the birthers, eh? Good on ya. Somebody has to show’em some love. TPM has a great email posted from someone who lives in DC. Tomorrow should be a great day for videotaping the birthers, birchers, tenthers, and secessionists all rolled up into to one great big teabag. Dayamn. Ain’t had that much fun since my brother went to shit and the hawgs ate him.

    BTW My comment in previous thread with link to report about Sully getting special treatment from our justice system.

  21. 21.

    geg6

    Ha! I’m going to spend some time in the county seat where I was surprised to learn there will be a 9/12 rally. Well, maybe not so surprised since there are giant signs looking like a project by the kindergarten class at the local Christanist school all over the county advertising it and this is a cracker ass ground zero of a place. But regardless…I suddenly find myself with urgent business in Beaver tomorrow. So I planned to check out the crowd to see if BOB would show up. And now I find that you may even be there, John. Nothing could motivate me more to bring a camera along on my urgent business than the thought that I might get a group photo of me, you, and BOB.

  22. 22.

    Crashman06

    Hey Indylib,

    If you’re still around, I know I’ve been promising details on the engagement.

    I’d had the ring for a couple months but was waiting for the right time. We both took the day off on Friday and drove up to Montreal; made it up there late in the afternoon. The hotel was really nice, with these huge windows that opened inward like double doors. On Saturday, we got up early, had breakfast, and walked all around the city for a couple hours. Got back to the hotel around 5 to change for our dinner. Stupidly, I forgot my suit jacket, so I had to put the ring box in my pocket. I was pretty sure she’d notice, but apparently she didn’t. Anyway, we went to dinner, and had one of the best meals either one of us had ever had in our lives. I had thought about asking during dinner, but it didn’t seem quite right. At some point during the meal, I decided that we would head up to the rooftop terrace of the hotel after we got home (beautiful view up there) and then I’d ask. But when we got back to the hotel, we learned they had closed the terrace because it was windy. So instead, we got a couple of glasses of wine and headed up to the room. I opened the big windows so the moonlight could come in, got down on one knee, and just asked here there. Nothing super elaborate, but perfect for both of us, I think.

  23. 23.

    Demo Woman

    This weekend will be the first that John and Lily have been separated. I hope that John’s dad takes lots of pictures.

  24. 24.

    jl

    Good luck to ‘Signposts this weekend. Let people know when you need some cheering up, including here.

    Thanks to JGabrial for tip to go over to TPM, some interesting news over three. We may be able to see Newt’s Speakers gavel in a porn movie soon.

    Newt Gingrich Accidentally Names Porn Exec ‘Entrepreneur Of The Year’
    Rachel Slajda | September 11, 2009

    The award was given to porn filmaker Allison Vivas.

    ‘ The award itself includes a signed replica of Gingrich’s gavel he used as Speaker of the House. (See a picture of the award, which Vivas says the group sent to her.)

    Vivas said in her release that the gavel would “make for a pretty cool prop for a ‘Couples Seduce Teens’ episode.” ‘

    http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/09/newt-gingrich-accidentally-names-porn-exec-entrepreneur-of-the-year.php?ref=fpb

  26. 26.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    In all seriousness, if any of you are near the million moran march tomorrow, take some pics.

    I honestly can’t decide. On the one hand I’m the bigot’s Rorschach Inkblot so I could redline the bp of a lot teabaggers just by walking around down there. On the other hand, I’m pretty clumsy. I might slip, accidentally stick my foot up a few dozen morans’ asses and then I’d have to throw away my boots.

    Maybe I’ll just hang out by the neighborhood Metro station.

  27. 27.

    Mark S.

    @JGabriel:

    Neither do the ralliers.

    Full of win!

    @JK:

    I sometimes wonder whether some of these rightwing toolbags are just putting up a front, sort of like performance artists.

    So we called Michael to ask him what’s up. His response: “Why don’t you call Mao Zedong? He’s your boss.”

    Guess Weiner is the real deal!

  30. 30.

    OriGuy

    I saw a T-shirt at the Highland Games last weekend. It said,

    Scottish Teabag Society
    It’s hard to explain
    It’s better if I show you

    It was sold at a booth that sells Utilikilts, which are not the traditional plaid wool type.

  32. 32.

    gnomedad

    Apparently, the term “teabagger” is now officially accepted. Any volunteers to clue this happy fellow in?
    (Link stolen from a comment in an earlier thread I’ve lost track of. Please claim credit if you’re out there.)

  34. 34.

    Ash Can

    @Crashman06: Great story (and Montreal is one of my all-time favorite cities, too). All the best to you both.

    @jl:

    Newt Gingrich Accidentally Names Porn Exec ‘Entrepreneur Of The Year’

    LOLZ!

  35. 35.

    Demo Woman

    @asiangrrlMN: From a commenter at Swampland…

    JP writes:

    I was at home in Brooklyn, holding my six-week-old baby on the couch, when I saw the second plane crash into the World Trade Center on TV.

    Long-time commenters and posters here might recall I’ve had something to say about this subject, about the rooftop I was on when the Towers burned and fell that day.
    .
    I have a slight suggested amendment to the title of JP’s post to offer, the rejection of which will be entirely understandable, but that comes straight from the heart of downtown New York City, where I live:
    .
    Don’t f*cking Tell Me What > 9/12 Means, Glenn Beck, You Carpetbagging F*ck.

  38. 38.

    asiangrrlMN

    @arguingwithsignposts: That’s a tough one. Women are tricky creatures (believe me, I know. I am one). This is just me, personally, but I would try to call once. Then, if I were met with any kind of resistance, I would say, “I am sorry that you are feeling bad. I am here for you. Please call if you need a shoulder to cry on.” Then, I would back off. If she later accuses you of not caring or something like that because you didn’t keep calling her, well, I would take that as a red flag.

    Hope that helps a bit.

  40. 40.

    jl

    @asiangrrlMN: Is this person sad, or mad? Need help or steamed about something? That makes a difference. If it ‘sad’ or ‘needs help’, I would likely to make trial call.

  42. 42.

    JK

    @Demo Woman:

    My antidote to the malignant media carcinogen called Glenn Beck who is shamelessly exploiting the 9/11 attacks for his own selfish gain would be to watch the opening scene from Woody Allen’s Manhattan because it best expresses my love for New York http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o6QKpNK9Cc

    Ever since 9/11, this opening sequence has a much stronger resonance for me.

    I realize 9/11 was about more than the WTC attacks. Washington DC and Shanksville, PA were both hit as well. My sympathies go out to the relatives and friends who lost loved ones in those plane crashes.

    As a native New Yorker, I detest the idea that a raving, drooling, bedwetting lunatic like Glenn Beck is using this tragedy to whip up and foment hysteria among his legion of morons.

  44. 44.

    gizmo

    I’m betting the Million Moran March will get 10 times the media coverage that all the Iraq War protests got combined.

  47. 47.

    arguingwithsignposts

    I think it’s sad. radio silence for over a week, except for a couple of txts, so that’s what I assume. she did say she feels like crying a lot, but I don’t know all the details. @asiangrrlMN thanks for the suggestion. I may try that tomorrow.

    It’s hard for me not knowing. makes it hard to get anything done, but I’m so far away that I’m powerless to do anything.

  49. 49.

    jl

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    “@Crashman06: Sounds wonderful. So…when ya gonna bring her around for dinner? She’s got to meet us sometime. If she’s accepted you, she’s got to accept the B-J gang, too.”

    I was not aware of this policy. Was Crashman06 warned about this commenter ‘perk’?

    Crashman06: you didn’t you sign any papers that you didn’t read carefully from this ‘B-J gang’ did you?

  50. 50.

    gizmo

    It’s 11:42 EST on Sept. 11. Barack Obama has kept us safe from the terrorists for longer than GW Bush did in his term.

  51. 51.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    @gnomedad: Ha ha ha! Signs and stickers that say, “Proud to be a teabagger” … Cool glad to see the righties are getting them some… but the heroes of that group are Joe the Heckler, Glenn Beck and Senator James “What Climate Change” Inhofe … Hokeeeee … The GOP rump’s trinity. I was +5 but THAT was a shot of cold water. I think i’m stone cold sober.

  56. 56.

    jl

    @arguingwithsignposts: I have to go, but if she (its a she? right?) I don’t really know what gender people are here, in general.

    Anyway, if it ‘sad’ or ‘needs help’ I would try to communicate periodically, but with a light touch unless somethng bad might happen. If txting is OK, then try that.

    Probably women here could give better advice.

  57. 57.

    asiangrrlMN

    @arguingwithsignposts: Ok, that’s a great song, but I am gonna be a big fat hypocrite and tell you not to listen to depressing songs when you’re feeling like this.

    I know it’s difficult, but try to read a good book or watch a movie (a comedy!) you really enjoy. It’s not good to stew–and yes, again, I’m being a hypocrite. Hey, just because I don’t follow my own advice doesn’t mean it’s not sound.

    Barring all that, keep on posting.

  61. 61.

    IndyLib

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    If it’s sad I would say a phone call would probably OK. If she has caller ID she won’t pick up if she doesn’t want to talk, but at least you reached out. Can you e-mail her? Some of the deepest conversations my husband and I have ever had have taken place when he’s been deployed and he had easy acces to e-mail, but limited access to the phone.

  63. 63.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Ok, that’s a great song, but I am gonna be a big fat hypocrite and tell you not to listen to depressing songs when you’re feeling like this.

    I know it’s difficult, but try to read a good book or watch a movie (a comedy!) you really enjoy. It’s not good to stew—and yes, again, I’m being a hypocrite. Hey, just because I don’t follow my own advice doesn’t mean it’s not sound.

    ha! I haven’t been listening to it until just now, actually, but I have been watching L&O-CI for the past few hours – Vincent D’Onofrio is the bomb. That’s probably not good. Might dive back into the netflix comedy “watch instantly” queue.

    And if I really wanted to get depressed, I’d listen to this. it’s so much more relevant than the Smiths for most folks my age.

  65. 65.

    superluminar

    just delurking to say what a wonderful story Crashman, and to transmit best wishes to arguingwithsignposts – i’m sure you’ll sort it out. have a goodnight, y’all!

  69. 69.

    Cat Lady

    ABC’s Nightline is showing Jon Krakauer talking about his book on Pat Tillman. He’s nuking Rumsfeld and Bush.

  70. 70.

    Crashman06

    @arguingwithsignposts: If you’re looking for a movie, have you seen Pineapple Express yet? It’s on the Watch Now thing on Netflix. I’ve gotta say, I was really impressed. That is one funny movie. If you want to laugh tonight, watch it!

    Can’t Hardly Wait may be my favorite song ever.

  71. 71.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Crashman06: That’s a great song from my hometown boys. You have to bring your fiancee to ‘meet’ us. Do you think we’ll just let you marry anyone, young man?

    @JK: I like the George Harrison all right, but I am looking for more somber, please.

  72. 72.

    jl

    @arguingwithsignposts: good luck.

    When I said ‘something bad’ I meant, she might do something bad for herself or others. If you think that is the case I would contact her friends and family and let them know.

    If that is not the case, then, you have to think about whether you are doing things for her benefit or yours, which is difficult, and probably not very cheerful advice, but useful to think about bit if things get frustrating or go badly with her.

    have the best weekend you can.

  76. 76.

    IndyLib

    arguing OT from the previous, but I’m asking you because you helped me with the Firefox add-on the other day. Is there a way to get my MAC to open a link I click on, like say one of the music links above to open in another tab or page when I click it. I like checking out the music links but I lose BJ when I click them.

  79. 79.

    Chad N Freude

    @arguingwithsignposts: All relationship problems are waaay too long to explain. I am an authority on relationship problems, since I have had many different kinds of relationships and all of them have had problems. I do have one piece of advice: Don’t take advice from anyone who has had whatever problem(s) you’re having. I love you person of whatever gender you happen to be.

  82. 82.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @IndyLib:

    Just hold down the command key while you click on the link. it will open the link in another window or tab and you’re set.

    @jl:

    I know what you mean. And that’s the hardest part of it all. Relationships suck sometimes, but I couldn’t bear the alternative. {sigh} I’m too old for this shit. :)

    @Crashman06: Saw PE – funny movie. I just watched Blazing Saddles again the other day on netflix. awesome, even today.

  86. 86.

    Mike in NC

    9/11 was about more than the WTC attacks. Washington DC and Shanksville, PA were both hit as well.

    Read today that the memorial for Flight 93 at Shanksville is due to open sometime next year. Hopefully it will be simple and dignified, but we Americans don’t do well at doing things simple and dignified. I further read that they’ll have a gift shop (!) there. Sounds more like a theme park than a memorial. On the other hand, I did work for a while in 2004 at the Pentagon’s Navy Command Center, which was obliterated on 9/11, and they managed to put a simple and dignified memorial inside the new NCC.

  89. 89.

    Crashman06

    @arguingwithsignposts: I just watched Spaceballs earlier today, for the first time in fifteen years. Holy crap, I watched that movie so much as a kid that I memorized a lot of lines that I didn’t understand at the time. Now I get them, and they’re so much funnier for it.

  91. 91.

    geg6

    Man, CNN is getting slammed by all the other networks. I mean, totally called out. Wow. I don’t recall the last time I saw the media pile on one of their own like that. Of course, none of the critics are any better but you gotta admit that the amount of panic caused by their race to make a scoop makes them a spectacular and convenient distraction from all the collective media FAIL of the last 30 years. Meanwhile, Kathy Griffin and Richard Clarke flirting outrageously on Real Time and leaving Bill Maher speechless with laughter was the best laugh I’ve had in weeks.

  94. 94.

    Morbo

    Our controller will be there; he already had a moranic bumper sticker, so it’s no surprise. Still I rolled my eyes when I was told he was on vacation for that purpose.

    Unrelated, Short’s Brewing’s Pandemonium Pale Ale is awesome.

  98. 98.

    Cat Lady

    Krakauer’s Tillman book has the goods on Rumsfeld and the inside PR Jessica Lynch nonsense from the horse’s mouth. It will be interesting to see how Beck and Rush outdo each other to piss on Tillman, and how they smear Krakauer.

    PaT TiLlMaN loved cats!

    As a high school student, Tillman served time in juvenile jail for beating up another teen he mistakenly thought had attacked his friend. He kept a journal and had a lively intellectual life. He opposed the war in Iraq but didn’t hesitate to serve when his unit was sent there. He was an agnostic and maybe even an atheist. He loved cats.

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5hyK0015vYy17yjgkrIJKuM_PEe9g

  104. 104.

    Jared

    Since John recently remarked (not really in jest, I think, given the current state of the GOP) that “Meth Mouth” has lately become a central plank of Republicanism, I think we in the Balloon Juice community should periodically name “Meth Mouth Republicans,” (like “Eisenhower Republicans”, except not) while taking care to place special emphasis on mainstream Republicans who fit this description.

    My first nominee is a toughie. Jon Voight, maybe? Beck?

  110. 110.

    asiangrrlMN

    @arguingwithsignposts: A friend just turned me on to that song today (and I do mean turned me on). It’s most excellent.

    All right, boyz and grrlz. Clutch your pearls and swoon on your fainting couches: I am going to bed. I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night and only an hour in the afternoon, so I’m crashing.

    arguing, hang in there, you here? I’ll see ya in about four hours.

    Night all!

  111. 111.

    Chad N Freude

    @gizmo: Terrific. But it should be phrased as Obama has been president for (number of days or months) and we have had NO – ZERO -NO terrorist attacks.

  112. 112.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Jeebus, I don’t know what’s wrong. The link goes to You tube, and then the play box just stays black/empty. Or, it won’t load. everything else is working fine with me computer and internet. Flummoxed/

  125. 125.

    arguingwithsignposts

    For those who can’t hear the song (which is a great one), Melissa Ferrick’s “Drive”:

    “If you want this
    if you want this
    if you want this, you’re gonna have to ask
    nicely please
    yeah if you want this
    you’re gonna have to ask me
    you’re gonna have to ask me

    Whatever you want
    I’ll give it to you
    I’ll give it to you slowly
    ’till you’re just begging me to hold you
    ya whatever you want
    whatever you want
    but you’re gonna have to ask me

    Your mouth waters
    stretched out on my bed
    your fingers are trembling
    and your heart is heavy and red
    and your head is bent back
    and your back is arched
    my hand is under there
    holding you up

    I’ll hold you up
    and drive you all night
    I’ll hold you up
    and drive you baby ’till you feel the daylight

    In the kitchen
    in the shower
    and in the back seat of my car
    I’ll hold you up
    in your office
    preferably during business hours
    ’cause you know how I like it when there’s people around
    and I know how you like it
    yeah I know how you like it
    I know how you like it when I tease you for hours

    Yeah this has just begun
    because we haven’t even gotten started yet
    I haven’t even
    I haven’t even tied you up
    I haven’t even turned you over
    this is where I want to live
    right here between your hips
    where all the love you hold and hide
    it’s where it lives
    right here between your hips
    this is where I want to live
    it’s where all the love you give exists

    Your mouth waters
    stretched out on my bed
    your fingers are trembling
    and your heart is heavy and red
    your head is bent back
    your back is arched
    my hand is under there
    holding you up

    I’ll hold you up
    and drive you all night
    I’ll hold you up
    and drive you baby ’till you feel the daylight

    Repeat.

  137. 137.

    Polish the Guillotines

    @Fulcanelli: I picked up the Mission Impossible tv soundtrack and when I heard that I was like, “Woah. That’s where they got it.”

    Lalo’s a freakin’ genius composer, and a tip of the hat to Portishead for going to the well of obscurity for that sample.

  140. 140.

    JK

    Fulcanelli- Yes, I love that late 1960’s era Rolling Stones work.

    General Winfield Stuck – Battle of Evermore is one of my Favorite Led Zeppelin songs. I think it didn’t get the recognition it deserved because on Led Zep IV it’s the song that immediately precedes Stairway to Heaven.

    gbear – Sandy Denny. Another rock artist who died far too young.

  143. 143.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @robertdsc:

    It needs a 2/3 majority in both chambers to get repealed. I’d be surprised if the wingers will help out in their current state of no. But it is a good thing to make the effort.

  148. 148.

    Comrade Mary

    awsp, not only can I outwhinge Morrissey, I sing along with that damn song every single time. [this is bad].

    Best of luck getting everything sorted out.

  150. 150.

    Polish the Guillotines

    Rivercats! Fuck yeah! Just delivered a sound 13-2 thrashing to the Tacoma Rainiers in game three of the PCL South playoff. They’re up two games to one. One away from heading to the PCL championship.

    /minor league ball

  154. 154.

    Jason Bylinowski

    So I got through my first night of CPAP – by which of course I mean, assisted breathing machine action, which is supposed to keep me from fatally dying, which I hear tell is the worst kind of death – but alas I never quite got to sleep. At about 2:30 I just ripped the thing off in a frustrated daze. When my darling dear woke up a few hours later, I tried it again and I MIGHT have slept a few minutes, until the pressure on this thing skyrocketed for some reason (it’s an automatically adjusting device, which will be replaced once we get some data from it in a couple weeks) and I had to rip it off again, simply because it was leaking all to hell. The day following was pretty weird but I was no more tired than usual at least, so now we get to do it all over again in just a little bit here. Oh, and I managed to get punted out of a sleep apnea forum on my first post: apparently it’s a no-no to admit that you don’t have a doctor’s permission to use a CPAP machine – although in my case, it’s quite safe as I am doing this through a physician’s assistant who works for a respiratory services company which I do IT work for on a regular basis. Just another insult to the injury of being without insurance.

    As for politics, since that is after all why I am here on a daily basis: once again the media has been tricked into covering the scandal instead of the speech. I’m getting deja vu over it, since that’s exactly what happened during O’s last press conference. Tell me guys, do you really think Joe Wilson just blurted that shit out or do you think he was the republicans go-to guy. Because, I mean, I live in the next district over from him, and I’d never heard of the guy til he said what he did, and now he’s got a popular youtube video, and has supposedly raised 700K. Sure, our guy raised more, but not as much as he needs to win. Anyway I just can’t see a way for the Dems to win in the long term without playing just as dirty as the Repubs. And let me tell you, I don’t want that either. So as usual, I’m vacillating – either I’ve got nothing but pride for our people showing at least a modicum of integrity to the process of politics, or I’m feeling all kinds of frustrated at the Democrats inability to win the message war for even one day. But at the end of the day, I have to admit, I’d rather see us lose honorably than win dirtily. It just sucks that we can’t even do that, because the conservative way is not to just win, but to destroy utterly.

    A thought occurs: why has there been no official place for Howard Dean in this administration? He’s the reason we won in 08, if you consider the 50-state strategy to have worked (and pretty much everybody does at this point), and everytime I see him on MTP, he kicks tons of ass rhetorically. I don’t know why he’s not Sec of HHS, he would have been great at selling this healthcare plan, whatever it turns out to be.

  156. 156.

    Fulcanelli

    @arguingwithsignposts: Re: Morissey… “Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head…”

    How do you write and sing shit like that? I guess that’s what that Brit mommy welfare state and all that rain and lousy food will do to ya. I did dig those guys though.

  157. 157.

    Jacy

    Funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time was Guy Ritchie’s “Rocknrolla.” Laughed uncontrollably.

    One caveat — may not be your cup of tea if you have trouble deciphering certain Brit accents.

  159. 159.

    robertdsc

    A thought occurs: why has there been no official place for Howard Dean in this administration? He’s the reason we won in 08, if you consider the 50-state strategy to have worked (and pretty much everybody does at this point), and everytime I see him on MTP, he kicks tons of ass rhetorically. I don’t know why he’s not Sec of HHS, he would have been great at selling this healthcare plan, whatever it turns out to be.

    Perhaps the Administration figures he’d be better on the outside than on the inside. He’s said some things that the Administration acknowledges need be said but can’t do so directly under the White House imprimatur.

    Shorter me: 11-dimensional chess, perhaps?

    Going to bed. Sweet Tunchy & Lily dreams to all.

  161. 161.

    Polish the Guillotines

    @Crashman06: They were mostly a Bay Area band in the ’80s. Never got the recognition that Rancid and Greenday did, but I always thought they were way more clever and fun (if sloppy). Best albums (IMO) were, Nightshift At the Thrill Factory, Our Bodies Ourselves, and Milk, Milk, Lemonade. There’s also a cool odds ‘n’ sods collection called Big Black Bugs Bleed Blue Blood.

  162. 162.

    Polish the Guillotines

    @Jason Bylinowski: Stick with the CPAP. It took me a couple of weeks fighting with it, but eventually I got totally used to it. I am not exaggerating in the least when I say it will change your life. I only wish I’d been diagnosed twenty years ago. In hindsight, I now realize just how fucked up my sleep cycle was and how exhausted it left me.

    Also, nice side benefit if you have any kind of allergies that are sensitive to dust: Depending on which unit you’ve got, you’re getting filtered air. Nice.

  163. 163.

    Apsaras

    I’ve got a friend vacationing in DC for wholly unrelated reasons, and I’ll be taking him around to the museums and shit tomorrow. Can’t wait for the sideshow.

  164. 164.

    Jared

    @Cat Lady:

    “…Chuck Norris.”

    Mucho brownie points if you can dream up a few funny “Chuck Norris Facts” involving Meth Mouth.

  165. 165.

    Fulcanelli

    @Jason Bylinowski: As irritating as FOX and the vile, brain dead right wingers are, I still think it’s gonna backfire with a majority of voters.

    All this weapons-grade freak show stupid they’re spewing in every direction is good for venting and grabbing attention but it’s also inversely proportional in demonstrating their incapacity to responsibly govern a country like the 21st century US.

    Their shenanigans are far from over but after 8 years of Bush/Cheney and the stuff they’ve done since the O was sworn in, the tipping point has come and gone as far as the GOP being able to claim the ability to actually run the government as a functioning political party. At all.

    The have become their own worst enemy. A redneck Al Qaida.

  166. 166.

    JK

    @Jason Bylinowski:

    Why isn’t Howard Dean in the Obama admin?

    My understanding is that Rahm Emanuel has a deep dislike of Howard Dean because he strongly disagreed with him over the 50 state strategy.

  168. 168.

    Jay in Oregon

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Wow, Balloon Juice is becoming the place for broken and lonely hearts to hang out at night.

    My wife and I went to our first joint counseling session today, and spent three hours talking about it afterwards. (Well, I need to be fair; I was doing all of the talking. She either doesn’t have answers or hasn’t figured things out.)

    My wife says that I feel more like a roommate than a husband. I guess I checked out somewhere along the line a couple of years ago and didn’t realize it. When she said that she’s unhappy and needs a change in her life, I wake up — sadly, that seems to be about 3 weeks too late.

    I’m still hoping to be evaluated for depression; but even if I am suffering from it, and it might provide some explanation, it doesn’t fix where we are now. I don’t get a do-over.

    We can’t stay where we are now forever, but she doesn’t know what it will take to recapture what we had (or develop something new to replace it). When the counselor asked if we still wanted to have kids together, I said “yes”. She paused for a minute and said “I don’t know”.

    The way I figure it, I’m up shit creek. And I drove myself there.

  171. 171.

    Anne Laurie

    It was sold at a booth that sells Utilikilts, which are not the traditional plaid wool type.

    Speaking of which, anybody here got personal experience with the Utilikilts? I love the concept, because I prefer skirts to pants, only it’s hard to find well-cut skirts with decent pockets. On the other hand, the Utilikilts are daaaam’ expensive, which yeah if they’re wearable & sturdy I could work with, but how can I know about their user-friendliness beyond trusting their website?

  172. 172.

    JGabriel

    gbear:

    Wow. I just came back from searching for a sad song.

    Are we doing sad songs? Well, you know, Daddy Just Wants It To Rain.

    Continental Drifters. Don’t know if they still have the same lineup, but when I first saw them perform that song at The Mercury Lounge, the band included Vicki Petersen (Bangles), Peter Holsapple (dB’s), and Susan Cowsill (Cowsills), with Will Rigby (dB’s, former Mr. Amy Rigby) trading off on drums with Mark Something-or-Other whose sisters were pretty big in the NYC indie scene back then (mid-90’s) and whose-name-I-should-know-but-can’t-remember-right-now.

    So, sort of an indie superband, I guess. Anyway, it was incredible, as you can imagine.

    .

  173. 173.

    JK

    @Linkmeister:

    That’s great song. It was played at the end of the Series Finale of The Riches. That was a great show and I wish FX had given it more time to build an audience.

  174. 174.

    freelancer

    Hi all, I’m back from a quiet night out. And then I watched the Rifftrax for Fast and Furious (2009). I had to pause it several times due to excessive weeping. Like I was laughing so hard I was snorting and crying. That was cathartic.

    Arguing, you would do well to look into their site. It’s MST3K, same guys but with modern movies. And we seem to share a similar sense of humor.

    As far as the 9/12 project, pre-emptive prediction of complete failure and obscurity. The reason they do a friday news dump is because No One Reads the News on Saturday. Couple that with 9/11 memorial coverage, health care horse race, second week of college football, H1N1, Fox’s tiny audience of 1/5 million people, the only way the 9/12 project gets on Monday’s news cycle is if a teabagger goes all Buddhist monk.

  177. 177.

    Anne Laurie

    @Wile E. Quixote:

    I’m totally digging Torchwood, but I’m afraid that it might just be a gateway show that could lead me into a serious Doctor Who addiction.

    Didn’t work that way at our house. We both adored the first two seasons of Torchwood, which we devoured as soon as they were available on Netflix. And then switched to the (new, improved) Dr. Who, which is perfectly fine and all, but Spousal Unit lost interest just before the end of Season 2 and we only just got around to watching Billy Piper’s swan song after the Torchwood Season 3 mini-series piqued our interest again.

    In my case, at least (can’t speak for the Spousal Unit), I just find Gwen Cooper and the other failible humans of Torchwood — even Jack Harkness — more interesting as characters than whichever actor’s idea of the untouchable omnipotent Doctor. John Barrowman may be the William Shatner of his generation, but he makes a very believable “unkillable” Eternal Fvck-Up, with much more of the manic-depressive tenor I think essential to the concept.

  178. 178.

    Crashman06

    Playing Bioshock right now.. And damn, I forgot how political this game could be.It does a nice job of showing how Ayn Rand’s paradise eventually devolves into hell,

  181. 181.

    Jay in Oregon

    @JGabriel:

    Well, the pause was bad enough. The “I don’t know” was just the lemon on the paper cut.

    I’ve spent the better part of a week dissecting where we went wrong. And spent a lot of it in a sleep-deprived mania. Not all of it has been me, but I have not been the man I was when we got married. I don’t know how I got lost — depression, settling, just being a selfish ass — but I’m holding on to the hope that because she’s still here and still willing to try to talk, that we can work it out.

    I wish I didn’t feel like it took one more attempt to finally get through to me than it took for her to decide it wasn’t worth it anymore.

  182. 182.

    Wile E. Quixote

    @Crashman06

    Playing Bioshock right now.. And damn, I forgot how political this game could be.It does a nice job of showing how Ayn Rand’s paradise eventually devolves into hell,

    Bioshock totally fucking rocks. Not only are the graphics awesome (although I sometimes think they went a little overboard with the falling water effects) but the plot or story or whatever you call it in a computer game is the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.

  183. 183.

    freelancer

    @JK:

    In a word, NO.

    He could garner some coverage if he wept while had his hand on some kind of prop sniper rifle and kept talking about how courageous and patriotic it was for teabaggers to support the 2nd amendment, weave that into Levin’s Liberty and Tyranny, talk about fascism and death panels, Joe Wilson, and blubber “Sic Semper Tyrannusaurus Rex”.

  185. 185.

    JGabriel

    @Jay in Oregon:

    I wish I didn’t feel like it took one more attempt to finally get through to me than it took for her to decide it wasn’t worth it anymore.

    That’s the depression talking. I know that voice way too well.

    If she’d already decided it wasn’t worth it any more, she wouldn’t be going to counseling with you.

    Don’t listen to the depression. A good self-help book on cognitive therapy, like Feeling Good, might help with that.

    .

  186. 186.

    Wile E. Quixote

    @Anne Laurie

    Speaking of which, anybody here got personal experience with the Utilikilts? I love the concept, because I prefer skirts to pants, only it’s hard to find well-cut skirts with decent pockets. On the other hand, the Utilikilts are daaaam’ expensive, which yeah if they’re wearable & sturdy I could work with, but how can I know about their user-friendliness beyond trusting their website?

    I was at the credit union one day last summer when a guy came in with a bad mullet and wearing an Anthrax T-shirt, a black leather Utlilikilt, one of those leather belts with chrome studs on it and a pair of tanker (or biker) boots. After seeing this I asked two good friends of mine to kill me if I ever purchased a Utilikilt.

  189. 189.

    Crashman06

    @Wile E. Quixote: Yes! I forgot how great this game was. Granted, a littel too much work on the water physics, but damn, everything else around it was great. It still stands up today. And speaking for by brother, it’s turned more young kids away from Ayn Rand’s philosophy than it’s turned towards them.

  190. 190.

    Linkmeister

    @arguingwithsignposts: Not bad at all.

    In the interest of science, and since you know it’s underproduced, have you thought of trying AutoTune on the recording? Free demos for 10 days. I’d be fascinated to see what effect that software has.

    If you try it, don’t overwrite the original! ;)

  191. 191.

    freelancer

    @Crashman06:

    I’ve played about 2 hours of Bioshock and I was amazed at how studied the creators were in objectivism, but I couldn’t get into the gameplay. I felt the story to be too fantasy laden. Ironically, I am crazy about Batman: Arkham Asylum and so impressed with that game that it made my friend Alex buy it. He immediately compared the game to Bioshock just in terms of awesomeness. He hasn’t smacked me down yet on the hypocrisy that I bitched about Bioshock’s genetic engineering plot devices and gaming elements but don’t take issue with characters from Batman like Bane or Poison Ivy.

  192. 192.

    Jay in Oregon

    @JGabriel:

    I’ve been trying to shake up my routine by listening to my iPod at work, walking my dog when it’s still light out, talking to friends and family.

    But I’m going to start straining these relationships unless I can figure out some way to process this stuff in my head again. And my wife will not stick around if I can’t. These conversations drain her as much as they do me.

  195. 195.

    Crashman06

    @freelancer: I have yet to play Arkham Asylum , but I have heard very, very good things about it. My bro was telling me good things about it. That said, I’d encourage you to try Bioshock again… It gets really, really good about 4+ hours into it, especially when you see what an objectivist society leaves you with. And beyond that, the art direction in that game is the best I’ve seen in over four years.

  197. 197.

    Linkmeister

    @arguingwithsignposts: I admit it’s my own curiosity driving the question. Apparently AutoTune is somewhat controversial, with some producers swearing by it and some artists refusing to use it. I’m wondering what it actually does in a real-time test case, as opposed to hearing a finished cut and trying to determine whether it’s been used or not.

  198. 198.

    JGabriel

    @Jay in Oregon:

    One thing that may help is to focus on the things that excite you, or you and her both, and share them with her again. Sometimes regaining your confidence in things you enjoy can be infectious. You might need to pull back from the processing or let it percolate in the background.

    Easier said than done, obviously.

    But hang in there and don’t give up. While she’s going to counseling with you, there’s still hope.

    .

  200. 200.

    JGabriel

    JGabriel:

    Mark Something-or-Other whose sisters were pretty big in the NYC indie scene back then (mid-90’s) and whose-name-I-should-know-but-can’t-remember-right-now.

    Doug Wygal, not Mark! I knew it would come to me eventually.

    .

  201. 201.

    freelancer

    @Jay in Oregon:

    I wish I felt like there was something worthy I could say, but my longest relationship that I’ve ever had was for 3 years and that was spoiled by geography and pretty black/white betrayal not on my part. If it’s a shock and yet you’ve been both going to counseling maybe this is a way for the air to get cleared, as well as a way for you to be able to see a future together. It may not be, but in the relationships I’ve had in the past several years, by the time I saw trouble or feared a problem arising, I felt way more cynicism that the idea of talking it out was to me, laughable. The way you describe it is angst-driven, but hopeful.

    This might be nutshelling a bit or oversimplification but I absolutely believe that human beings can operate, day to day, and as emotional creatures simply by projection alone. It’s why the Golden Rule works, it’s why we fall in love, it’s how we rationalize the universe. If your wife is feeling like she’s been left behind by the person she thought she married, and now she’s come clean about her feelings. In her efforts and perceived hesitance to reconcile, there might be a base-level need for you to spend some time in the Hurt Locker. Forlorn is how she’s internalized being around you, but she’s not done, now the panic you’ve been feeling lately in the last 3 weeks is giving her some measure of catharsis. Don’t give up hope, people surprise you on a long enough timeline.

    /end armchair psychologist/slash/talking out of own ass Ace Ventura style with no comparable experience.

  202. 202.

    Jay in Oregon

    @JGabriel:

    That’s part of the problem. We’ve come so far apart that we don’t have a lot of things that we both enjoy any more.

    She’s expressed an interest in digital photography, which is something I have a little experience with. I told her this is something we could develop an interest in together — I’ve offered to do a beginner’s course with her — but she says she wants to do it with our neighbor’s wife.

    She’s not exactly pushing away, but she seems to be content to do without me. She has her circle of friends who have been supporting her while I’ve been… wherever I’ve been. And even now she finds it easier to talk to them than to me. About a lot of things.

    I’ve been accounting for my failings for over a week; frankly, I’m glad she’s been with me this far. I just wish I could earn some grace or consideration for being here now.

  203. 203.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Jay in Oregon:

    She’s expressed an interest in digital photography, which is something I have a little experience with. I told her this is something we could develop an interest in together—I’ve offered to do a beginner’s course with her—but she says she wants to do it with our neighbor’s wife.

    I have you beat, as far as “not in the same game” stuff. My ex still was a fundamentalist while I was losing any belief in God at all. I think it’s wonderful what you’re trying to do to keep your relationship going.

    Let me put it bluntly: If your relationship ends because of digital photography, well, it would end anyway.

    But I hate that. I hope it works out. I really do. I always root for love.

    There is this thought that I’ve been having over the past few days: We always think we can find better. But we don’t always do so. Better sometimes to enjoy what we have that envision what we don’t.

  205. 205.

    freelancer

    @JK:

    I didn’t even google it because it seemed so obvious that this little play on Latin/taxonomy has been arrived at many, many times independently in the last 110 years.

  207. 207.

    JK

    @freelancer:

    It would make a good title for a novel or a cd.

    I wish that miserable excuse for a human being Glenn Beck had gotten laryngitis on 9/10 so that he wouldn’t be able to shamelessly exploit 9/11. This guy is an abomination and an obscenity.

  209. 209.

    JK

    freelancer:

    Here’s another idea for a book or documentary film title

    ALSO: THE RISE AND FALL OF SARAH PALIN

  210. 210.

    Jay in Oregon

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    My wife is a Christian; I am not. I have gone to church with her, and kept an open mind. I’ve even found some comfort in reading through her Bible the past week or so.

    But even that doesn’t seem to kindle any interest. And this is a women who once told me that her family would throw a party to celebrate the day I was baptized. (Don’t get me wrong: I wouldn’t convert to keep her, because that’s not the point.)

    I love my wife like I never thought I would love anyone. I never thought I would ever get married, because I didn’t see the point. She made me a believer.

    But here I am, in bed by myself, writing to you guys. Meanwhile, she’s in the other room, hopefully relaxing and enjoying some private time for a bit before turning in. (I hope.)

  212. 212.

    Zuzu's Petals

    So does anybody know if some actual, you know, September 11 family members will be participating in this obscenity?

    I mean actual family members, not in-laws, second cousins, high school pals….

  216. 216.

    Blue Raven

    @Wile E. Quixote: I was at the credit union one day last summer when a guy came in with a bad mullet and wearing an Anthrax T-shirt, a black leather Utlilikilt, one of those leather belts with chrome studs on it and a pair of tanker (or biker) boots. After seeing this I asked two good friends of mine to kill me if I ever purchased a Utilikilt.

    Wile E., that’s frankly the dumbest reason to avoid buying a Utilikilt I can imagine. One man who abuses the privilege and suddenly you wouldn’t be caught dead in one?

    My husband acquired a used black cloth Utilikilt from a friend of ours who became too skinny to wear hers (they’re nicely unisex). It’s quite durable, he reports it is very comfortable, and the pockets are most convenient.

  217. 217.

    JK

    @Zuzu’s Petals:

    That’s great stuff. I hadn’t seen those before.

    I also have an ongoing project to create slogans for

    Palin/ Bachmann 2012

    Some slogans I’ve come up with so far

    The Dimmer Sisters
    Dumb and Dumber
    Ignorance Is Strength
    No Wingnut Left Behind
    No Competence Required
    Competence Is Pre 9/11 Thinking
    Intelligence Not Included

  218. 218.

    Lesley

    The Million Moran March is a perfect opportunity to make some quick cash. Just offer to spell check their signs.

  219. 219.

    bago

    Bioshock: Great.
    Portal: Awesome.
    Mass Effect: I KEEP GIVING THIS GAME ALL OF MY MONEY AND NEED THE SEQUEL LIKE CRACK!

    Given the fact that I just pulled a muscle in my back, looks like I’m finishing Red Faction: Guerrilla. Imagine GTA where you can blow up all of the buildings with a proper physics engine. Sleeper hit for sure.

  220. 220.

    bago

    Also, Utilikilts are based just down the hill from me. It’s pretty standard burner gear, though Seattle might over-represent because we make them here.

  222. 222.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Jay in Oregon: Man, I’m sorry that you’re going through all this. As someone who has suffered depression for most of my life, I can empathize. I hesitate to offer psych help over the internet (though it was my major in college and has been a lifelong interest), so take this with a grain of salt, please.

    Talking out your feelings is great for the longterm. However, it takes time for talk therapy to be truly effective. Here are two cognitive techniques that are becoming well-known for working with changing beliefs and attitudes that take relatively less time. The first is EMDR

    EMDR link one

    EMDR link two

    It helps to reduce negative feelings surrounding (negative) core beliefs.

    The second is EFT. It is based on the theory of holding two opposite beliefs at the same time, combined with acupressure points. (Such as, “Even though I have lost fifteen years of my life to depression, I deeply and completely accept myself). It sounds corny, I know.

    EFT

    The only other advice I’d give you is to breathe deeply. Good luck.

    @Fulcanelli: Working my way through the countless links. Loved the DCFC song. Am listening to Portishead right now. Intriguing. I like the DCFC song better.

    @arguingwithsignposts: I hope you’re sleeping now. Hang in there!

  223. 223.

    asiangrrlMN

    I knew that would happen. Take two:

    @Jay in Oregon: Man, I’m sorry that you’re going through all this. As someone who has suffered depression for most of my life, I can empathize. I hesitate to offer psych help over the internet (though it was my major in college and has been a lifelong interest), so take this with a grain of salt, please.

    Talking out your feelings is great for the longterm. However, it takes time for talk therapy to be truly effective. Here are two cognitive techniques that are becoming well-known for working with changing beliefs and attitudes that take relatively less time. The first is EMDR.

    EMDR link one

    EMDR link two

    It helps to reduce negative feelings surrounding (negative) core beliefs.

    The second is EFT. It is based on the theory of holding two opposite beliefs at the same time, combined with acupressure points. (Such as, “Even though I have lost fifteen years of my life to depression, I deeply and completely accept myself). It sounds corny, I know.

    EFT link

    The only other advice I’d give you is to breathe deeply. Good luck.

  224. 224.

    asiangrrlMN

    Part II, Take 2:

    @Fulcanelli: Working my way through the countless links. Loved the DCFC song. Am listening to Portishead right now. Intriguing. I like the DCFC song better.

    addendum: Now that I’ve heard the whole Portishead song, me likey very much.

    @arguingwithsignposts: I hope you’re sleeping now. Hang in there!

  226. 226.

    JGabriel

    @Lesley:

    The Million Moran March is a perfect opportunity to make some quick cash. Just offer to spell check their signs.

    What are you, a fucking liberal? Mocking MY sign? Who cares if it’s fucking spelled correctly, you know what I’m trying to say, you fuckin’ homo commie fascist! All a bunch a faggy mooslim intellectuals who thinks it’s all about spelling. Buncha weaklings tryna take o’er the nation. I’ll show you! I want my country back! Wah! Wah! Frickety-frackety-doodle-splat! Krshsplitzle! Screeeeeeech! Hussein! Hussein! Hussein! gurgle. thbtbtbtbt. Nam yoho renge kyo. Glenn Beck is my savior. Shantih shantih shantih.

    Wait… what was I saying? Oh yeah: fuck you, commie! Har! (pause) Omygodomygodomygodwhere’smyheartpills? Gertrude, help! A liberal is killing me!

    (Conks over dies of heart attack.)

    .

  229. 229.

    JGabriel

    @asiangrrlMN:

    You just scared the fuck out of me with how close to a wingnut you got.

    Grew up in PA. It’s not so mimicry as it is merely remembering the trauma.

  230. 230.

    South of I-10

    If anyone cares, I found Katie the Kitty this morning. She is alive and well. If the purring is any indication, she is very glad to be home.

  231. 231.

    snetzky

    long time lurker – first time poster

    @Jason B

    CPAP is a life saver. I was lucky enough to get mine through my flex spending account just before I lost my job. Had to go without it the other night and remembered why I needed it.

    If you’re having problems with leaking, you may need to try a different mask. There are lots of different choices. I use a nasal pillows model that just rests against my nose and is much more comfortable than most.

    I don’t know if i’m allowed but cpap.com is a great place to buy your stuff once you get a prescription for the machine. about half the price of going through your local medical supply place.

    Good luck with it…it will make a huge difference in your life once you get used to it.

  236. 236.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @South of I-10

    Oh I’m so glad! I actually flashed on her (and you) when I woke up briefly in the middle of the night and was wishing for this happy outcome. (I don’t suppose Katie has come entirely clean yet about where she was and what she was doing, and with whom, but if you hear references to one Mehitabel, you should start to worry.)

  238. 238.

    snetzky

    @Jay in Oregon

    I know this sounds trite, but I do know what you’re going through. My first wife did the same thing before we split up.

    The best thing you can do for yourself is go get checked out by a doctor and get some help for yourself. I know that you want desperately to make things work, but you need to understand the problems you are having are a symptom of a bigger issue.

    Get some help for the depression so that you can think clearly enough to give your marriage your full attention.

    Find someone you can talk to, write a journal, find a way to get the feelings out without asking your wife to be your therapist too. I don’t know if you have kids, if she works, or whatever, but being your therapist may be more than she can handle on top of everything else.

    Feeling Good (David Burns) is a spectacular book. It literally saved my life. I would also suggest you learn to meditate. This doesn’t require you to be religious, but it will teach you the mental discipline to manage your depression better.

    Finally, meds. If you need them, take them. I have a sister who was the biggest bitch in the world until she finally accepted she needed help. She got diagnosed and started taking an anti-depressant and within a month she had become a very different person. She still gets frustrated and she still gets upset, but she’s able to see and think about things more clearly because her brain chemistry is not out of whack.

  240. 240.

    RedKitten

    @South of I-10: Oh yay! I saw your comments last night about her being missing, and am so happy to hear about a happy ending to Katie’s little adventure.
    @Jay in Oregon: I’m really sorry to hear about your troubles. A friend of mine is going through the same thing with his wife, and sadly, it’s not ending well. I know that marriages can work even if there aren’t a whole lot of shared interests, but there has to be some sort of connection there. What was it that connected the two of you in the first place? There had to be some sort of thread that drew you together, even if it’s just something as simple as the same taste in bad jokes. Can you perhaps re-introduce that thread back into your lives?

  243. 243.

    Jay in Oregon

    @RedKitten:

    Believe me, I’ve been trying. But I can’t do anything with or for her until she figures out what she needs from me right now. And I’ve been asking for two weeks.

    On the plus side, I went into urgent care (I don’t have a PCP right now) and got a prescription for fluoxetine to help keep the anxiety down.

    And I plan to spend the day listening to music and cleaning my house, my preferred form of therapy.

  245. 245.

    Betsy

    @Jay in Oregon:
    Hang in there. I’ve been partner to someone with depression for a long time, and I know how draining it can be if they haven’t acknowledged it or sought treatment. But, at least in my case, the decision to finally seek treatment was what made it possible for me to stay.

    I have some thoughts, and I have no idea how appropriate they are, so of course feel free to ignore them or tell me to bugger off or whatever.

    I have no idea what’s going through your wife’s mind and heart right now. But probably the single best thing you can do (which you’re already doing, it sounds like), both for your marriage and just for YOU, is to start caring for yourself, getting whatever resources you need, and figuring out what makes you happy in life. That alone takes pressure off her. I can’t tell you what a relief it was to me when I was finally not the only support system in my partner’s life, and it made it possible for me to stay with him. It also gives her a break from the intensity of your need to know what she wants.

    I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, but it can feel really stressful to bear the brunt of your partner’s anxieties and fears, especially if she also feels in any way responsible for them. And if you’re asking her all the time what she needs from you, it can end up feeling like more pressure to make you feel better. So self care and self-healing can end up being as important as anything you do for her, just by relieving that pressure.

  248. 248.

    b-psycho

    Check out the 2nd pic here. Nice how these alleged “anti-government” protesters think the defense war budget is sacrosanct, and completely ignore that Obama increased it yet again anyway…

  249. 249.

    Calming Influence

    @OriGuy:
    Very late comment, but that’s fucking hilarious. I’ve got a mental image of Sean Connery saying that, in a kilt, one foot on each side of Glen Beck’s head…

  250. 250.

    bedtimeforbonzo

    Jay in Oregon: As one who has done similarly, I think you are brave to share your thoughts, pain and doubt. Good luck.

    I don’t think you mentioned how long you have been married. For me, it will be five years on Nov. 3, and this year has been the toughest.

    A lot of our troubles have been rooted in struggling financially. But as I reflect, even those are tied to challenges with intimacy. Not enough time. Taking one another for granted.

    In between being past the rookie stages but nowhere near being a married veteran, I have found it is a delicate balance. I was single for 40 years before getting hitched, so when times are tough, I have to remember that it’s unfair to Olga when I withdraw — as a bachelor, that was OK (the dogs loved me just the same; married, my wife wants attention).

    That thing about taking each other for granted takes work to correct. I mean, I have realized compliments go a long way. My wife, a hair stylist, always looks good heading out the door to work but I am not fashion-minded in the least, so if I catch myself thinking how nice she looks, it’s good to express that. Or I am constantly impressed at how strong she is — as a Russian immigrant, she’s not one to show weakness — and try to follow her lead and let her know I admire her strength.

    Of course, it goes both ways. We had a big argument the other day. But last night, she praised me for my parenting skills, helping our boy get adjusted to what has been a tough transition from elementary to middle school. I felt good after she complimented me since raising Danny is the most important thing I’ve ever done since we got married (he was 5 at the time and never knew his real dad).

    What has been said about anti-depression meds is essential. I have been on Wellbutrin and Effexor for years. The other day, when I was veering off into what could have been a prolonged breakdown, I realized later that not having taken Effexor for a week — waiting for my check, so I could afford the $40 co-pay — probably left me vulnerable.

    I don’t know if all Russians are like this. But my wife is very anti-psychiatry/medication. However, she has softened after seeing how they provide me with a stablizing effect (bi-polar manic depression is hard to get your arms around, until you see it in action).

    I’m not sure if our situations are very similar. I never realized how many different dynamics go into a marriage until I entered one. But I think it helps to know you are not alone — I know it has me.

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