Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I was promised a recession.

This fight is for everything.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

The willow is too close to the house.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

The revolution will be supervised.

T R E 4 5 O N

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

You are here: Home / Humorous / All the world’s a stall

All the world’s a stall

by | 55 Comments

This post is in: 

This sounds like quite a play:

A playwright and filmmaker who splits his time between New York and Los Angeles is writing a fictionalized play about former senator Larry Craig’s 2007 arrest in an airport men’s room sex sting, The Sleuth has learned.

The work-in-progress, titled — what else? — “Wide Stance,” is already scheduled for a debut reading in Craig’s hometown of Boise…

[……]

Still, the men’s room stall may make a cameo in Kirkman’s play. “I may end the play with all six people in the restroom,” he told The Sleuth.

Reader Interactions

55Comments

  2. 2.

    beltane

    Taxi Zum Klo, or “Taxi to the toilet” in English, was a German film about a similar subject. It often played in the revival theater where my best friend worked. Being high school girls, the movie did not arouse much interest and I never actually saw it. The title has stayed with me all these years, though, and was the first thing that came to mind when I heard of the Larry Craig business.

  3. 3.

    someguy

    Awesome. But mocking out a glory hole-seeking ineffective excuse for a senator isn’t anywhere near as good as mocking out a sitting president – it’s kind of like Speaking Truth to Oatmeal.

    Too bad we don’t have old Dick Nixon Dubya Bush to kick around any more. I mean you could still kick him around, but who gives a crap? He’s gone, and that’s the main important fact about him. Until the ICC hands down a warcrimes indictment, anyhow.

  4. 4.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    Any teabagging in that play?

    BTW estimates of the crowd at the teabag revolution in DC … Shuster just tweeted the Freedon Works estimate – – – – 30,000 … Park Service: that is a “generous” estimate. Our lady of perpetual outrage — chooses to use the “nationwide” estimate —- 2 million! (I think that includes all the signs with pictures on them as people as well.)

  5. 5.

    Brick Oven Bill

    The strength of wastewater streams is commonly measured by the metric 5-day Biochemical Oxygen Demand, or BOD5. The origin of this metric is the length of time it takes for a drop of water to travel from the highest reaches of the longest tributary in England, down the Thames, into the Atlantic Ocean. Five days seems like a long time for an English waterway, but that is what it is. Five days.

    It just so happens that this is the same length of time it takes for Carbonaceous Oxygen Demand to begin to significantly kick in. This would not have been known to the British researchers at the time, and could be a coincidence. Or it could be something else. Go Teabaggers.

    These are not facts you can find on Wikipedia.

  6. 6.

    Zifnab25

    @The Grand Panjandrum: Its always entertaining to see the same guys bragging about ficticious turn out at teabagger rallies then claim Obama didn’t really win the ’08 election. It’s like they created a cult dedicated to the inability to count.

  9. 9.

    Comrade Jake

    Sully on the teabaggers:

    Here’s a test: when you see as many posters lambasting Bush and Cheney and the GOP for getting us into this crisis in the first place, I will take these people seriously as genuine small government non-partisan conservatives and independents. In so far as they can pressure the Congress and president into taking the debt seriously in the future, good for them. In so far as they are proposing no practical solutions, and echo truly disturbing hatred of a president barely eight months in office, facing huge crises on all fronts, they are doing their own cause far more harm than good.

    Some of the pictures he has and the folks over at Think Progress have are really phenomenal. Looks and smells like Peak Wingnut. BOB, why aren’t you joining your -cousins- brothers in DC?

  11. 11.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Comrade Jake, I can only be with the Teabaggers today in spirit due to constraints in my life. Sully might like me though because I have been very tough on George Bush, as have most Teabaggers if you would just go to a MeetUp. Larry Craig probably eats lots of potatoes, and thus his restroom would create a lower strength of wastewater than Al Gore’s restroom. This is because Al Gore eats lots and lots of meat.

    The Carbonaceous Oxygen Demand from Al Gore’s restroom would thus be far greater, and create much more CO2, contributing to global warming twice. First from the production of the animal flesh that Al so enjoys eating, and again from the decomposition of Al’s left-overs in America’s waterways.

    There is a third manner in which Al Gore’s diet of lots and lots of meat contributes to global warming. This third manner is sexual in nature.

  12. 12.

    Elizabelle

    Terrific headline.

    Might pass on the play, though.

    Taxi to the Toilet? How did that not make it to the local arthouse cinema?

  15. 15.

    Brick Oven Bill

    In accordance with BiggerLoads.com, a diet of iron rich foods, such as Al Gore’s diet of lots and lots of meat, and probably lots and lots of cheeses too, causes increases in the rate of sperm production. In the gay community, as I have been led to understand, sperm is often times consumed. This, in turn, will increase the Carbonaceous Oxygen Demand in the wastewater streams of gay toilets, causing Global Warming by increased generation of CO2.

    I have a theory that Al Gore seeks to counter this damaging effect by sitting with his thighs crossed, just like President Obama and Rahm.

    Perhaps they sit like this not because they have small packages, but instead in an effort to provide a more green environment, by reducing their sperm counts. This would be the right thing to do because the President has been known to serve Kobe beef at the White House, which in addition to being expensive, is also an iron rich food.

  18. 18.

    Emma Anne

    @Zifnab25:

    —Its always entertaining to see the same guys bragging about ficticious turn out at teabagger rallies then claim Obama didn’t really win the ‘08 election. It’s like they created a cult dedicated to the inability to count.—

    Does anyone else here read Comics Curmudgeon? He chooses a comment of the week (for it’s funniness) and puts it up as as a quote on the side for the next week. I bring this up, because I think that BJ ought to choose a comment of the week, and I nominate the above from Zifnab.

  19. 19.

    Singularity

    Bill, you should really keep your fixation on President Obama’s thighs to yourself. And the only people who comment on the size of people’s dicks are those who are insecure about the size of their own. Finally, as President Obama already has two beautiful little girls, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has had a vasectomy, thus ensuring a sperm count of near to zero. But you should still continue fantasizing about being impregnated by him, since that seems to make you happy.

  21. 21.

    jl

    Um, thanks I guess, to Comrade Jake for sending me over to the Daily Dish, where I see the following, which may be relevant to the topic of this post:

    12 Sep 2009 10:48 am
    Sex After The Singularity

    “The primary purpose of the Singularity will be seen, after the fact, to be Awesome Sex. There will be exponentially more sex, with exponentially more interfaces, and with exponentially more measures of pleasure … We will be installing bioports into our body, a la The Matrix or Sleep Dealer, each of which can stimulate our nervous system. In heterosex, men penetrate women, but with this, men and women will interpenetrate each other, multiply, and, as with USB 2.0 daisy-chaining… [and it gets really bad from here on]

    This might be my last comment. After I check my fat ass for suspicious USB bioports, I may get a gun and shoot the computer. I see a light flashing, but it may be winking at me. I’ll use the double barrel shotgun, just to make sure.

  22. 22.

    Left Coast Tom

    @Ash Can:

    Jeezus H, BOB, go easy on that absinthe. Wormwood’s no damned good for you.

    I took absinthe with me backpacking earlier this year. It’s an interesting way to consume licorice. I can assure anyone who’d like to try it that it doesn’t cause any interest in the size of politicians’ dumps.

  23. 23.

    geg6

    Holy shit, BOB must have completely lost it due to his inability to get to a Teabagging event (which, by the way, is another BOB fantasy because even though the local event here in Crackerland North was sparsely attended, I’ve never seen so many fat, ugly people in one place in my life, male AND female). How the hell does he know what Al Gore eats? And if Al Gore eats too much meat, then imagine how much fatties like Hannity, Beck, and Limbaugh must be putting away!

  26. 26.

    jl

    Peas, BOB, peas! Eat your peas! The Doctor says so! And then you will grow big and strong, like the Drum Major!

  27. 27.

    geg6

    Shabbazz: Damn! Can’t see that on the Blackberrie! What’s it say? Is it as bad as the local one that said “Black ain’t beautiful to me and mine” with a picture of Obama on it? By the way, I’ll try to post my photos when I get to the office on Monday. So much illiteracy, so little time!

  31. 31.

    Anne Laurie

    @Comrade Jake:

    BOB, why aren’t you joining your cousins brothers in DC?

    BoB’s brothers are also his cousins. As Jeff Foxworthy puts it, “If your family tree does not fork… you may be a redneck wingnut.”

  32. 32.

    JGabriel

    @jl:

    Peas, BOB, peas! Eat your peas! The Doctor says so!

    BOB Woyczek?

    (Tilts head to side for a moment in pensive thought)

    Hmm, you know … actually, I can kind of see that.

    .

  33. 33.

    Bhall35

    I thought “Angels in America” handled the theme of closeted conservative politicians brilliantly, amongst many other things. This sounds a little narrow for my tastes, no pun on the title intended.

    BTW, for those who haven’t seen “Angels” on stage (which is still preferable, IMHO, to the quite good movie version), it’s getting its first New York revival next year, The theater will be small, so ticket prices may be more reasonable. If anyone happens to be in the area, I highly recommend checking it out:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/theater/02signature.html

  34. 34.

    jl

    @JGabriel: Damn straight. And he is late with his pee, too! He is becoming noncompliant and I am not responsible. I wash my hands of the boy.

    Anyone see BOB disobeying, let me know. For I am the Doctor, and you can be my patient as well.

    Below, my little song offering for tea party day, which I am sure they will appreciate:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB4D-GbQ9A4

    Shut ’em down, shut ’em shut ’em DOWN!

  36. 36.

    JK

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Slightly OT

    Speaking of Eric Cantor, did you watch Olbermann or Maddow last night? One of them, I forget which, showed video of Cantor addressing some knucklehead supporters. As Cantor spoke, a bunch of people started calling Obama a liar. Instead of telling these people to cool their jets, Cantor ignored them and kept blasting Obama. That’s another reason I despise this piece of wretched refuse. He sees some of his supporters are clearly unhinged, yet he makes no attempt to rein them in.

  41. 41.

    Brick Oven Bill

    You’ll like me Laura. Not only does my oven reach 800F, I also maintain a wide stance. Screw the environment.

  44. 44.

    jl

    @Brick Oven Bill: Count me out, I am not putting my USB bioport in that oven. Maybe Mr. kommrade reproductive vigor is man enough.

    Also: Trinity @42: I believe Flav still does PE concerts in between his various reality shows (which I have avoided religiously)

  46. 46.

    Cat Lady

    @Trinity:

    Today has been an education for me in all kinds of ways. Now I know that the more we see of the clueless fucktards who can’t manage to articulate the simplest concept on a 2′ x 3′ sign with a three month running start the better it will be for this country. Pictures worth a 1000 words, and all that….

  47. 47.

    jl

    Dayam, I am so dingity dang dagnabit inspired by teabaggers day I went looking for my favorite fight song of all time on youtube, and found it all its bestest glory.

    Below is link to youtube of great American maniac genius classical music composer Charles Ives, hisself, singing his idealistic WWI fight song ‘Over There’

    I weep when I think that Ives did not live long enough to see Afrika Bambaataa, KRS One, Public Enemy, Pere Ubu and Rage Against the Machine, or Ornette Coleman, or all sorts of stuff. Oh, what he would have done with that we will never know.

    Charles Ives “They Are There!”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10pqluMwgXQ

    Key Lyrics:

    There’s a time in many a life
    When it’s do, though facing death,
    When our soldier boys
    Will do their part that people can live
    In a world where all will have a say.

    (snip)

    For it’s rally round the flag of the People’s New Free World, shouting the battle cry of freedom!

    When we’re through this cursed war,
    All those dynamite-sneaking gougers,
    Making slaves of men (God damn them),

    Then let all the people rise
    and stand together in brave, kind humanity.

    Most wars are made by small, stupid,
    selfish bossing groups,

    While the People have no say,

    But there’ll come a day,
    Hip, hip, hooray,

    When they’ll smash all dictators to the wall!

    Let’s build a people’s world nation, hooray!
    Every honest country free to live its own,
    native life!

    They will stand up for the right,
    But when it comes to might,
    They’ll be there, they’ll be there, they’ll be there!
    (You bet they’ll be.)

    Then the People, not just politicians,

    Will rule their own lands and lives,
    And you’ll hear the whole universe
    Shouting the battle cry of freedom,

    Tenting on a new campground,
    Tenting tonight, tenting on a new campground,

    For it’s rally round the flag
    of the People’s New Free World,
    Shouting the battle cry of freedom!

  48. 48.

    jl

    I had no idea so much of my favorite Charles Ives was on youtube.

    Charles Ives, Variations on America (he wrote this for organ when he was 16, I think. This is an orchestration)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemcWb9nKP4

    Charles Ives, Charles Ives plays ‘The Alcotts’ from his Concord Sonota (you like classical, you listen to this!)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXHjeSamzno

    Charles Ives, Stockbridge at the Housatonic
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVUfkPJck8w

    Charles Ives, General William Booth enters into Heaven (1914)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNExPHc9OOY

    Charles Ives, Charles Rutlage (Cowboy Song)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbDjvof5QBU

    I offer this great patriotic music, in honor of this great day, to all inspired tea baggers who come wandering this way!

  49. 49.

    jl

    My Charles Ives links comment is moderation, probably forever, I guess I got overenthusiastic.

    Anyway, interested parties should get on youtube and search for

    Charles Ives plays ‘The Alcotts’

    Charles Ives Stockbridge at the Housatonic
    (this is for piano with lyrics)

    Ives: “Three Places In New England” 3/3
    (orchestral version)

    Charles Ives General William Booth enters into Heaven (1914)

    Charles Ives, Charles Rutlage

    Charles Ives Variations on America

  50. 50.

    geg6

    Okay, I saw an even crazier slogan that Sully has in a photo he’s posted of a young male teen. And it leaves no doubt that we aren’t seeing your average every day citizens here. What we are seeing aren’t Birthers, but Birchers. The kid’s t-shirt says: The cure for Obama communism is another round of McCarthyism. Bill Buckley is spinning in his grave.

  51. 51.

    jl

    Omigod, some deranged maniac put one of Ives’ quartertone piano pieces up on youtube:

    Charles Ives: 3 Quarter-Tone Pieces – II. Allegro

    Not one of my favorite pieces, but anyone interested in how atonal ragtime sounds when played on a quartertone scale, might want to check it out. The recognizable ragtime starts about halfway through.

  52. 52.

    smiley

    It’s very clear now that the commenters here don’t want Brick Oven Bill to go away. OK, that’s fine. Wake me up when it’s over.

  53. 53.

    asiangrrlMN

    @smiley: I want him gone, but I am resigned.

    @JK: Well, it’s partly because I’m still bitter the whole damn thing happened in MY airport, but really. After diapers and hiking the Appalachian Trail and that dude with TWO mistresses, eh. The Larry Craig, he pales.

    Oh, I haven’t watched either Olbermann or Maddow in weeks because they are too good at their jobs. Makes me really pissed off and depressed.

  54. 54.

    Mnemosyne

    The Giant Evil Corporation where I work has a huge costume contest every year and the winner a few years ago was a guy dressed as Larry Craig, complete with his own bathroom stall. It was pretty impressive.

    (One of my co-workers came in third last year by dressing as a robo-call. We were all very proud.)

  55. 55.

    John T

    I just watched ‘Taxi zum Klo’ last weekend, I think it might be my favorite gay movie. The tone of the film is a combination of filthy, funny and genuinely sweet.

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