Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

People are weird.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

Peak wingnut was a lie.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about its history.”

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / BJ Dictionary Open Thread

BJ Dictionary Open Thread

by | 375 Comments

This post is in: 

Many of you have asked about the dictionary function to the right. The point of it is to allow newcomers some idea of what the older folks in the comments are referencing when they make statements about things like “hoot-smalley” or “IOKIFYAR.”

The problem, of course, is that you all can not edit the dictionary like a true mini-bjpedia, and only the blog overlords have that ability. So take this thread and write out definitions as you think they should be, and I will add the ones I think are best.

Also, I address the FAQ as often as possible, but I am seriously sick to death of “Were you really once a Republican?”

Yes. Yes, I was. Maybe one of you can work on that, but seriously, I just wish my archives would get corrupted for everything prior to Schiavo.

*** Update ***

Now this was just a cheap shot:

Tunch: Thought to compose up to 90% of the mass in the universe, but very rarely seen since the dog came along.

That simply is not true. There is simply no way Lily is overshadowing how much I love Tunch and how important he is to me. Look at this photographic evidence:

theanimals

I’m totally going to lose this argument, aren’t I?

Reader Interactions

375Comments

  1. 1.

    mr. whipple

    Maybe one of you can work on that, but seriously, I just wish my archives would get corrupted for everything prior to Schiavo.

    It’s not that bad. Youthful indescretion.

  2. 2.

    stickler

    Wait. Were you really once a Republican?

    (Heh. So was I, until 2006, though I wasn’t stupid enough to vote for W twice. My parents knocked on doors for Goldwater in ’64, it was in the blood for me. Man, I still remember how happy they were when Reagan won in 1980. The Bush years have left them very sad, though still loyal to the GOP. Why? Who knows. Tribalism, I guess.)

  3. 3.

    steve s

    Also: adv. Balloon-Juice specific joke made by people too stupid to understand that a joke isn’t funny after you tell it repeatedly for six months.

  6. 6.

    Betsy

    Peak Wingnut – the hypothetical point when right-wing craziness will have reached its zenith, and will thereafter subside to relative grumbling. Originally posited by John Cole to occur immediately after Obama’s inauguration. (I think.) Said hypothesis has been subsequently and repeatedly disproved.

  10. 10.

    Svensker

    I’ll just make up a new verb on the spot:

    to steve.s inf. verb— to make petty criticisms of others’ speech habits in an irritating manner

    There. Was that too bitchy? Also. This.

  13. 13.

    beltane

    The husbands of two of my friends were Republicans (one of them pretty close to being a wingnut) until fairly recently. They now deny it, but I clearly remember those nights of drinking and helping out my friend as she screamed at both of them.

    George Bush lost them; Sarah Palin made them feel ashamed that they ever voted Republican in the first place.

  15. 15.

    SpotWeld

    Doughy Pantload: A prerogative nickname for “author” and “serious pundit” Johan Goldberg (see: Liberal Fascists, Godwin’s law, epic fail)

  16. 16.

    steve s

    Going Galt: Withdrawing one’s unique brilliance from the economy in protest of tax rates which are actually abnomally low for the post-war era. Discussed and encouraged by bloggers such as Dr. Helen and Meghan McArdle, but never actually preformed, because even they can tell it would be a fucking moronic thing to do. Wholly ineffective and counterproductive, outside of poorly-written midcentury fantasy novels.

  17. 17.

    ppcli

    “*Hoot-Smalley*” – a) A rare one-word distillation of Wingnut cluelessness and loopiness, in an especially crystalline form: from Michelle Bachmann’s meanderings about what she called the “Hoot-Smalley” (= Smoot-Hawley) tariff.

    b) an obscure country – western musician, known from his LPs “Hoot Smalley sings the songs of Hank Williams”, “Riding the Rails with Hoot Smalley” and “Give a Hoot”.

  18. 18.

    Comrade Darkness

    I just wish my archives would get corrupted for everything prior to Schiavo.

    That can be arranged. Comment out a few of the mysql_real_escape_strings in your wordpress code and I’ll take care of that for you.

  19. 19.

    gnomedad

    @Cat Lady:
    Wingularity: the point at which

    the insanity from the far right and those controlling the Republican Party [continues] to grow exponentially until it reaches an unsustainable weight and collapses upon itself. This is also known as the Purity Spiral, wherein the density of wingnut increases compared to mainstream conservatives to the point of pure wingnut. As the ratio rises, this creates a phenomenon wherein no logic or sanity can penetrate or escape the Wingularity.

  22. 22.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Stuck – dashing, funny, smart, and quite purrdy,

    I will have more later, but first thingys’ first.

  24. 24.

    ppcli

    “Wolverines” – a) The rallying cry of the teenage freedom fighters who free Nebraska from Soviet domination in the wingnut p or n flick “Red Dawn”.

    b) A football team whose coach will not be mentioned on this blog out of deference to West Virginia sensibilities.

  25. 25.

    demimondian

    IOKIYAR – It’s OK if you’re a republican. (var fm. IOKIYAAR)

    Darrell — a legendary commenter of the distant past, long assumed to be a student in John Cole’s propaganda class.

  27. 27.

    Dave Ruddell

    I just wish my archives would get corrupted for everything prior to Schiavo.

    Hey! That’s when I started reading!

  29. 29.

    gnomedad

    edit button: n. an apocryphal blog feature which allows users to correct errors in comments after they have been submitted.

  33. 33.

    jl

    I see the edit function is gone again, and cannot refresh on the blog header.

    I may be banned for this, but maybe the concept of ‘random functionality’ might be considered. Maybe one of the quant posters could write it up.

  34. 34.

    Incertus

    I’ve voted Republican before. Hell, I voted Libertarian for president in 1996–first ever presidential vote. I’ve gotten better since then. I’m the inverse of the idea that you get more conservative as you get older. Of course, given that I started out as a Jehovah’s Witness, I’d wind up living in a cave grunting at the beasties if I’d gotten more conservative.

  35. 35.

    Warren Terra

    write out definitions as you think they should be

    Wait, I was going to just be lazy and throw out some words that needed to be defined … I wasn’t going to actually churn out any definitions!

    Also: adv. Balloon-Juice specific joke made by people too stupid to understand that a joke isn’t funny after you tell it repeatedly for six months.

    Revised:

    When used as a single-word sentence at the end of a statement, this is a Balloon-Juice specific joke made by people in mocking emulation of one of Sarah Palin’s many verbal ticks. Some people are sick of seeing this joke, and may react unpredictably.

    Doughy Pantload: A prerogative nickname for “author” and “serious pundit” Johan Goldberg (see: Liberal Fascists, Godwin’s law, epic fail)

    Revised:

    Doughy Pantload: A derogatory nickname for LA Times columnist and former National Review Online Editor Jonah Goldberg, who inflicted a book-length violation of Godwin’s law upon an unsuspecting (and, among his readers, undiscerning) public. Frequently mocked for statement he made about his book, entitled “Liberal Fascism”, roughly a year prior to its publication, that it was a very serious, thoughtful, argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care; see also this related follow-up post

    Well, this one post editing two definitions took entirely too long for me – and the first link could be wrong, since Yglesias’s older archives aren’t available right now. Maybe I’ll fiddle more later.

  36. 36.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Sarah Serendipity — A quitter governor who stands on her porch and see’s Russia. AKA Wasilla Wingnut.

  37. 37.

    RareSanity

    @gnomedad:
    edit button:     n. (1) an apocryphal blog feature which allows users to correct errors in comments after they have been submitted. (2) A useful item that once existed, was useful when it existed, and seemed to disappear overnight.

    Syn: Republican credibility

  38. 38.

    ninerdave

    Troll

    Darrell — One of the more infamous Balloon Juice Trolls…or was he real?

    Pie filter a Grease Monkey script to rid comments of annoying Trolls.

    Also @ about 1:51 from the end.

    Burkian Bells…I still have no clue what this is.

    IOKIYAR – It’s ok if you are a Republican.

    Wingnut – See Red State or Michelle Maklin

  40. 40.

    demimondian

    Heckuva Job, — Used ironically, referring to a particularly egregious blunder

    Troll — (1) A poster whose submissions are intentionally inflammatory. Often a right-winger, who pretends to believe that his or her postings will enlighten the local commentariat. (2) (pl. only, always with “The”) a loosely-knit group of long-time posters who take a blood oath to pretend to be right-wingers here on occasion.

  41. 41.

    ninerdave

    @Warren Terra:

    When used as a single-word sentence at the end of a statement, this is a Balloon-Juice specific joke made by people in mocking emulation of one of Sarah Palin’s many verbal ticks. Some people are sick of seeing this joke, and may react unpredictably.

    I still think it’s funny, also.

    Also, wouldn’t exactly say it’s a BJ only thing.

  46. 46.

    Martin

    Wingnut Welfare: the practice of guaranteeing employment for party loyalists no matter how many times they fuck up or how fucking stupid they are. See G Gordon Liddy, Oliver North, and anyone with (R) after their name.

  49. 49.

    Josh

    Better late than never B J (hmmm). Recently discovered that LittleGreenFootballs may also have become sane. Congrats all.

    RFC – recovering former conservative

  50. 50.

    demimondian

    WordPress > Error — The ultimate distillation of balloon juice. Purportedly a page returned from within the less-than-stable code which supported the site, but actually a message from God that the reader should stop refreshing the page, and get back to work. As with all messages from God, the correct response was to refresh the page again.

  51. 51.

    RareSanity

    This.: A shortened version of either: “I agree completely with this.” or, “Youse guys should read this, it’s really good.” (usually a link to an offsite article or onsite comment)

  52. 52.

    MikeJ

    Tunch: Thought to compose up to 90% of the mass in the universe, but very rarely seen since the dog came along.

  53. 53.

    Comrade Darkness

    snowbilly:
    moosellini:
    quitta from wassilla:
    Nicknames for Sarah Palin, former governor of alaska.

    boy, new memes come and go so fast I would not want to be in charge of dictionary upkeep. maybe there is an xml file you can subscribe too from somewhere else, John. I only today finally saw the video origin for “keep f*cking that chicken” and I feel like I’m on blogs enough to not fall behind.

  55. 55.

    ninerdave

    Stillers…. Pittsburg Steelers.

    Tunch — John’s Cat name after Tunch Ilkin

    Lily, — John’s dog who has replaced Tunch as the pinup animal on this blog…named for…I dunno a plant? Tomlin?

  56. 56.

    ninerdave

    @MikeJ:

    Tunch: Thought to compose up to 90% of the mass in the universe, but very rarely seen since the dog came along.

    Lawlz.

    See also: Dark Matter.

  58. 58.

    Emma Anne

    John, at the end of the “once Republican” answer, you get to add, “but I was right about that smarmy ass John Edwards though.”

  60. 60.

    gnomedad

    @Warren Terra:
    Wordpress Error: a blog that occasionally appeared in place of Balloon Juice in the manner of the “summer replacements” that once stood in for network television shows on summer hiatus.

  61. 61.

    demimondian

    Glibertarian — a portmanteau of glib and libertarian, a person who affects libertarianism when it’s convenient.

  63. 63.

    Ash Can

    Heck, Kos used to be a Republican too. Shit happens.

    Morans: The spelling of “morons” that results when a RW redneck attempts to insult liberals in writing.

    Squid-cloud of butthurt: The reaction of an idiot when called on his/her idiocy. Source: Anne Laurie

    Go Galt: 1. Based on Ayn Rand’s character, to disappear to an undisclosed place in the wilderness and form a commune with other creative people, independent of an unappreciative society.
    2. What we wish those who threaten such an action would fucking do, already.

  65. 65.

    Mr Furious

    Every once in a while the surprise “also” cracks me up. As it did with John’s comment at #9.

    My wife asked me what I was chuckling at, so I started trying to explain where it came from and why it was funny and she looked at me like I had two heads…”Forget it.”

  66. 66.

    28 Percent

    28 Percent – 1. the theoretical quantity of the Crazification Factor, first posited by John Rogers, although he set the number at 27%. But 28 has better scansion. Also, the crazies breed faster than the general population, so it’s more prescient this way.

    2. a commenter of the same name. Spoof, y’all.

    3. Also, too.

  67. 67.

    EL

    Checks from George Soros: humorous reference to apocryphal checks sent by George Soros to anyone espousing opinions the wingnuts don’t like. As in

    “I just registered Democrat/joined DailyKos/supported a public option in healthcare… where’s my check from Soros?”

  69. 69.

    The Other Steve

    Michael Moore is Fat.

    I gotta say, the one that really had me laughing was a few years ago when DougJ started citing the University of Malmo as the source of Republican statistics. :-) I didn’t catch what was the source of that one, but it cracked me up.

  71. 71.

    gnomedad

    FTW – “For The Win”, typically used to laud a particularly good comment. Sometimes confusing because it is possibly the only Balloon Juice acronym in which “F” does not stand for “fuck”.

  73. 73.

    jl

    @SpotWeld:
    Yes, need to figure out something for B.O.B. which for better or worse seems to be unique Balloon-Juice feature. Though I read very few blogs, so that is just speculation.

  75. 75.

    MikeJ

    Crash Test Dummies: A group named for the 1993 song, “Mm mm mm”:
    Megan McArdle
    Michelle Malkin
    Meghan McCain

  77. 77.

    Emma Anne

    Concern troll: someone who pretends to agree with the prevailing views of the blog, and simply wants to urge caution in this one case, but who is really trying to undermine the views he pretends to hold. Can be hard to distinguish from a poster having second thoughts or angsty misgivings, but tendency becomes clear after several posts. Gives rise to the expression, “concern troll is concerned,” coined from LOL cats and similar.

    Example: “*I* am not prejudiced against gays at all and think they ought to have equal rights, eventually. It’s just that if we try to push for any rights now, we’ll squick out all of the salt of the earth old-timey Democrats who really can’t stand the thought of two men having butt sex. So we had better wait until they all die off and revisit the issue in 2020. Gays should hide themselves for now and quit reminding people of sodomy, which many, who are less enlightened than all of us here, consider to be immoral and scary.”

  78. 78.

    jl

    @asiangrrlMN: thanks. I was wondering about that one.

    Should classic B-J pet tropes be part of dictionary?
    Tunch’s w**ght?
    The concept of green sh*t and all the joy it implies (for Lily)?

  79. 79.

    Ash Can

    Jackasses: Term of endearment used by John Cole in reference to the commenters on his blog. See also “potty mouths.”

  83. 83.

    gnomedad

    @Ash Can:

    Morans: The spelling of “morons” that results when a RW redneck attempts to insult liberals in writing.

    Morans: misspelling of “morons” seen in a sign in this image adopted as mocking the intelligence of right-wingers.

  84. 84.

    Emma Anne

    The paragraph consisting of “This.” added all by itself after quoting another post. It means that the quoting posters wholly agrees with the quoted portion and simply wants to repeat the awesomeness of it. Cf. FTW (for the win) and “[quoted poster] wins the internet.”

  87. 87.

    ninerdave

    That simply is not true. There is simply no way Lily is overshadowing how much I love Tunch and how important he is to me. Look at this photographic evidence:

    Well you did succeed in making Tunch look small. That’s no easy task.

  88. 88.

    EL

    Little Starbursts

    Rich Lowry’s wet dream about Sarah Palin, made public. Clearly a case of Too Much Information, but welcome for the mockability.

    Now used to indicate ridiculous and self-deluded wingnut infatuation with someone.

  90. 90.

    jl

    I do not think that the issue of Mr. Cole’s relative affection for Tunch versus Lily should be brought up, in order to spare the poor man’s feelings, being kind enough to provide this blog and all.

    Unrequited love is a tough thing to handle. Mr. Cole covers his heartbreak very well, but I imagine it is still a sensitive issue.

    Clearly Mr. Cole was seeking a ‘happy family time’ pic of Tunch and Lily beaming up at their beloved owner.

    And Tunch is heartless once again.

    Oh, the humanity!

  91. 91.

    MikeJ

    @EL:

    Rich Lowry’s wet dream about Sarah Palin, made public.

    Which makes me think “Chunky Reese Witherspoon” should be an (ahem) entry.

  92. 92.

    ninerdave

    @Emma Anne:

    The paragraph consisting of “This.” added all by itself after quoting another post. It means that the quoting posters wholly agrees with the quoted portion and simply wants to repeat the awesomeness of it. Cf. FTW (for the win) and “[quoted poster] wins the internet.”

    Or +1 (when following a quote)

    as opposed to

    +n – indicates the number of alcoholic beverages the poster has consumed before posting.

    when following a post. Ninerdave +1

  94. 94.

    mai naem

    @Comrade Darkness:
    You forgot the Wasillabilly Grifters

    Also too some oldies
    Friedman – six month period originating from Tom Friedman’s prediction of the Iraq war improving in another “six months.” or something to that effect
    Clenis – Bill Clinton’s mighty penis which apparently was more dangerous than the Iraq war.
    American Taliban aka Christian Taliban – American Christian theocrats
    Diaper Dave – Senator David Vitter -Republican of Louisiana who would go to a prostitute and apparently got off wearing diapers.

  95. 95.

    demimondian

    It’s not fair to allege that Tunch makes up 90% of the mass of the universe. He won’t reach that exalted state until he consumes Lily and John.

    Bets on when that happens?

  96. 96.

    jl

    @ninerdave:

    ”
    ‘ That simply is not true. There is simply no way Lily is overshadowing how much I love Tunch and how important he is to me. Look at this photographic evidence: ‘

    Well you did succeed in making Tunch look small. That’s no easy task. ”

    Indeed it is an amazing paradox. Or trick photography.

    Edit: Balloon-Juice reader who know how, should look for signs of photoshopping. The scandal may bring this blog down.
    I am going to take a deep breath and click on the link to the old Balloon-Juice, which must be a good one for a commenter to highlight. I found this blog after the Great Change.

  97. 97.

    waynet

    Glenzilla
    Baby Blue Cherub
    Joke Line
    Great Orange Satan
    Mittens
    hiking the appalachian trail
    wide stance
    the internets (aka Tubes)
    101st fighting keyboards
    the village

  98. 98.

    General Winfield Stuck


    I’m totally going to lose this argument, aren’t I?

    Don’t know, but I love the wtf look on Lily’s face in this photo.

  102. 102.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Republicans: Myth has it that this was once a great political party, now seen mainly as a group of clowns, increasingly small in numbers, who entertain at children’s parties (AKA “Town Halls”, “GOP Conventions”, etc)

  104. 104.

    demimondian

    Why on God’s green Earth are the mailto links in the upper right represented as unicode code points?

  106. 106.

    Ash Can

    I’m totally going to lose this argument, aren’t I?

    Nah, Tunch’ll just crap in your dress shoes, that’s all.

  107. 107.

    ninerdave

    @demimondian:

    Why on God’s green Earth are the mailto links in the upper right represented as unicode code points?

    Obfuscation? (Holy shit I spelled that right the first time).

    To thwart email page scrapers?

  110. 110.

    jl

    @demimondian:

    “It’s not fair to allege that Tunch makes up 90% of the mass of the universe. He won’t reach that exalted state until he consumes Lily and John.

    Bets on when that happens?”

    Quit being mean. Tunch likes Lily and won’t eat her, which I am sure causes some tension in the house.

  113. 113.

    Mr Furious

    I think you need to fill in for all of the nicknames – JLo, JPod, TAP, Stupidest Man on Earth, etc.

    JLo — Cornerite Kathryn Jean Lopez

    JPod — Cornerite John Podhoretz

    Derb — Bonus Cornerite John Derbyshire

    Cornerite — the collection of pseudo-Conservatives circle jerking at “The Corner” on National Review Online

    Stupidest Man on Earth — incomplete reference; presumably to Douglas J. Feith, Under Secretary of Defense for Policy in the Rumsfeld Pentagon. General Tommy Franks immortalized Feith as “the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the Earth”

    I have no idea what TAP is…

  114. 114.

    Ash Can

    And my last comment reminds me:

    Shoos: The spelling of the word for footwear to be used in order to avoid the moderation filter. See also “soshialism.”

  115. 115.

    different church-lady

    If Tunch is collapsing into a singularity, then it’s not about the visual size, it’s about the density.

    In short: Tunch is approaching infinite density, and will soon be a black hole, invisible to the human eye.

  117. 117.

    Martin

    Teabagger should be in there as well. It’s obvious now, but it won’t be in 6 months when they’ve moved on to some other assinine thing.

  120. 120.

    ninerdave

    @jl:

    Tunch likes Lily and won’t eat her

    You’ve never had a cat. With the exception of food, cats don’t like things they tolerate them.

  122. 122.

    Violet

    @Moonbatting Average:

    Okay, I’ll try.

    Burkean Bells – Based on columnist David Brooks’ comment, “Yet they set off my Burkean alarm bells.” in this column: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/opinion/24brooks.html (sorry, link tag isn’t working for me). Used as all purpose catch-all tag for anything that upsets Republicans and self-described centrists (also known as Republicans). Particularly applies to anything that might change the status quo.

  123. 123.

    EL

    @mai naem:

    Friedman – six month period originating from Tom Friedman’s prediction of the Iraq war improving in another “six months.” or something to that effect

    The time course is absolutely right, but I believe the correct term is “Friedman units.” Properly abbreviated as “FUs”

  124. 124.

    burnspbesq

    Burkean Bells, n. An auditory hallucination experienced by people who consider themselves to be “authentic conservatives” who have been driven from the Republican Party by the wingnuts. Most often experienced by people who think Edmund Burke was the title character in an obscure 1960s television series.

    Oakeshott, n. 1. mid-20th Century conservative philosopher, subject of Andrew Sullivan’s doctoral dissertation.
    2. Three ounces of Maker’s Mark in a wooden cup.
    Most self-proclaimed conservatives think 2 is the correct definition.

  125. 125.

    jl

    @ninerdave: That is true, but the fact is that Tunch tolerates Lily enough so that he won’t eat her, which from all we know, cannot be said for certain other people, who I will not name here.

    In Edit: and in fact, I did have a cat once. But it was insane. It had a half-cat half-dog personality. Sometimes it acted 2/3s dog. I never expect to see anything like it again.

  127. 127.

    Martin

    TAP = The American Prospect.

    A lot of the rags have acronyms that are well known to the people that read them, but not to people working their way in.

    TNC = Ta-Nahisi Coates
    Sully = Andrew Sullivan
    McMeghan = Meghan McCain

  129. 129.

    tc125231

    @stickler: Being stupid enough to vote for that ignorant brat once is hardly the basis for either a medal, or a chest to pin it on.

    Still, better late than never.

  134. 134.

    EL

    @MikeJ: Thanks for the link – I didn’t realize it was now official. My preference is FU, but we should obviously include both variations.

  135. 135.

    Martin

    I think the bells comes from this piece from Brooks after the SOTU.

    Sully and a bunch of others jumped on the Burkean Bells after that. I don’t recall it prior to that time, but I miss stuff, so maybe.

  137. 137.

    asiangrrlMN

    Tunchie Tunchie Tunchie. Cole, what the hell is he doing in this pic?

    shrill = telling the truth.
    FUX = FOX “News”
    Your comment awaits moderation = mad scramble to figure out which forbidden word was used.

  140. 140.

    demimondian

    @ninerdave: The original poster clearly meant to write

    Tunch likes Lily and won’t eat her *when smothered in horseradish*.

    The omitted phrase makes all the difference.

  142. 142.

    General Winfield Stuck

    punked == Humiliated completely, as in disrespected. See clowned.

    pwnd ==An internet chat language variety/version of the word “owned”, used in the sence of beating/defeating/outclassing someone.

  146. 146.

    waynet

    This is my favorite underused nickname/blogger reference of all time that always, always, makes me laugh out loud. It has been shamefully ignored.

    “Stains” – nickname for Sen. Mitch McConnell based upon eerie resemblance to Stains, the cupcake stealing dog from ‘It’s Me or the Dog’ also Talk Soup’s Entertainer of the Year.

    “Never put cupcakes in front of Sen. Mitch McConnell”

    http://filmgeekchic.tumblr.com/post/170572745/stains-goes-to-washington-soupsoup-never-put

    http://www.hypnodog.com/

  148. 148.

    MikeJ

    Cab Driver: The person who can summarize the complexities involved in international trade, domestic politics, and global warming in twenty words or less.

  151. 151.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @asiangrrlMN: Oh I thought “your comment awaits moderation” meant that they wanted me to rewrite it to be less shrill.

    No wonder the rewriting never appeared.

  155. 155.

    Rommie

    Someone who can see them should make a list of all the Archive tags – I’m betting a few old ones are semi-retired, heh

  156. 156.

    The Golux

    Actually, I always thought SATSQ stood for “Simple answers to stupid questions.”

    But perhaps my awareness of traditions is compromised, internet-wise.

  158. 158.

    Martin

    meant that they wanted me to rewrite it to be less shrill.

    No, it probably meant that you used the word shøe in your post. Nobody knows what particular fetish John has which mandates that he personally approve anything mentioning that word, but it probably belongs in the FAQ.

  159. 159.

    eco2geek

    “Burkean Bells” as a tag seems to have come about in this post about George Packer’s reaction to the aforementioned column by Mr. Brooks. Specifically, it was proposed as a tag in this comment by Waingro.

    How about (if I understand the point of the tag): “Burkean Bells, n. The sound of conservatives falling over themselves to agree with each other.” Or something like that.

    (Tunch, n. A combination of the word “lunch” – as in, “Lily ate his lunch” – with the first letter of “takeover” – as in, “He’s been in the background ever since Lily took over John’s affections.”)

  160. 160.

    Warren Terra

    TAP = The American Prospect, a center-left policy monthly closely aligned with the Center for American Progress; trained Yglesias and The Good Klein (Ezra) among others. Home of the group blog TAPPED.

  162. 162.

    MikeJ

    Nobody knows what particular fetish John has which mandates that he personally approve anything mentioning that word, but it probably belongs in the FAQ.

    I’m sure that was a joke, but just in case, the list.

  166. 166.

    JK

    Fonzi of Freedom – refers to Nick Gillespie, the Editor in Chief of Reason.com and Reason.tv. Gillespie gets his nickname from the fact that he always wears leather jackets when appearing in public just like the character Arthur Fonzarelli aka Fonzie from the tv series Happy Days.

  167. 167.

    Rosali

    TL:DR = Too Long: Didn’t Read.

    An abbreviation not often seen on BJ because BJers are exceedingly polite. But, really, we’re not trying to read your dissertation here. Get to your point within the first 10 words.

  169. 169.

    Matt

    Santorum: that frothy mixture of lubricant and fecal matter that is produced by anal sex.

    Use – The Republicans’ arguments definitely were produced by Santorum.

    or

    The GOP’s current crop of 2012 candidates sure remind me of Santorum.

  171. 171.

    ellaesther

    “No one could have predicted” = anyone with half a brain could have predicted; source – Bush Administration responses to Hurricane Katrina and financial meltdown of ’08.

  172. 172.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    Really, it seems like I’ve been commenting here forever and I didn’t know shoes would toss you in moderations.

    So if I write, I bougth pretty red shoes today I’ll end in shoe moderation? Fascinating.

  174. 174.

    Calouste

    Libertarian (n) : Someone who thinks they worked out the answers to all life’s questions when they were 13.

    Libertarianism (n) : Alleged political “philosophy. See IGMFU.

    IGMFU (abbr) : (Also IGMFY) I got mine fuck you.

  178. 178.

    Mr Furious

    @gnomedad:

    kitchen counters     — refers to means-testing or judgment by winger pundits. Originated from Michelle Malkin’s obsession with a Baltimore family receiving SCHIP. One of her arguments was that the family clearly had money because their kitchen counters were granite.

    Which, of course in the end, wasn’t true.

    A semi-recap at GOS.

  179. 179.

    pattonbt

    Slap in the face / Thrown under the bus (or variants – Slapped under the bus)

    Tire gauge

    Punch in the neck

    Hengh!!!

    That One

    Great News for John McCain!

    Whitey Tape

    (man I miss the primaries and general at times – high comedy)

  180. 180.

    EL

    Counter tops, as in “but what are their counter tops made of?”

    12 year old Graeme Frost spoke publicly with gratitude that S-CHIP helped with medical expenses after a car accident left him with severe injuries, and wished the same for other children. Wingnuts immediately piled on to this dangerous kid and trashed the family, going so far as to look in the windows and see – gasp! – countertops that appeared to be made of granite. This obviously made his family unfit to receive any public benefits. (The counters were concrete, but no matter, it’s still a scandal!)

    Now used to show the idiocy of the wingnuts trying to discredit anyone who says something they don’t like, using completely irrelevant and often false information.

  183. 183.

    Mr Furious

    kitchen counters — refers to Michelle Malkin’s obsession with a Baltimore family receiving SCHIP. One of her arguments was that the family clearly had money because their kitchen counters were granite.

    Which, of course in the end, wasn’t true.

    A semi-recap at GOS.

  187. 187.

    Mr Furious

    kitchen counters — refers to judgment or means-testing by wingnut pundits. Originated with Michelle Malkin’s obsession with a Baltimore family receiving SCHIP. One of her arguments was that the family clearly had money because their kitchen counters were granite.

    Which, of course in the end, wasn’t true.

  191. 191.

    ellaesther

    @EL: Wow, the other day, when Cole said something about ” no, the counters aren’t granite,” in a cooking post, I just thought “Huh! Guess the folks here are into kitchen rehabs, too!”

    I had no idea that it was a reference to that pitiful story — the more you know…!

  192. 192.

    JK

    @ellaesther:

    “No one could have predicted”

    There’s also this reference:

    “In May 2002, for example, Condoleezza Rice said, ‘I don’t think anyone could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center.’”

    h/t What You Think You Know About Sept. 11 … http://www.slate.com/id/2088092

  194. 194.

    Mark S.

    Here’s the definition I came up with in a previous thread:

    Burkean Bells: Conservative intellectual name-dropping to mask the fact that conservative philosophy has always been “I’ve got mine, fuck you.”

    @burnspbesq:

    Oakeshott, n. 1. mid-20th Century conservative philosopher, subject of Andrew Sullivan’s doctoral dissertation.
    2. Three ounces of Maker’s Mark in a wooden cup.

    Definitely a keeper.

  195. 195.

    ellaesther

    @JK: Well, and this, which is clearly the same in spirit if not in letter!

    Re: the Hamas win in the 2006 Palestinian elections, Rice said “I don’t know anyone who wasn’t caught off guard by Hamas’s strong showing” (h/t me! Oh, and the New York Times)

    And I suspect there was some professed unpredictability re: the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    Oh, world, and your crazy unpredictability!

  196. 196.

    asiangrrlMN

    That one = President Obama
    ____, bitchez = ______, friends (e.g., “Hello, bitchez!”

    MM1 = Michelle Malkin
    MM2 = Megan McArdle
    MM3 = Meghan McCain
    MM4 = Mary Maitlin

  202. 202.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    I think the dictionary link containing only the one entry is just John’s passive-aggressive way of calling all of us DFHs.

    It’s the old Republican reptilian brain, can’t ever kill it entirely.

  203. 203.

    BR

    This might be a stupid question:

    Is there a danger at this site that, just like Wingnuts with their cries of Dijon Mustard! and other obscure nonsense, that by having an equally obscure vocabulary to describe things we’ll just be walling off the community of users here?

    I know, it’s a bit of navel gazing, but worth thinking about, I think.

  204. 204.

    JK

    @asiangrrlMN:

    MM1 = Michelle Malkin
    MM2 = Megan McArdle
    MM3 = Meghan McCain
    MM4 = Mary Maitlin

    asiangrrlMN, Now you’ve done it. I’m going to have nightmares for the next night or three involving these 4 loons.

  206. 206.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @BR: Er, I wouldn’t give this site that much power. Almost all of these terms are progressive-blogosphere-wide.

    Except for all the stuff about man-eating animals which I think has to do with a cat of some sort.

  208. 208.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Martin: I was kidding.

    I do think we need a definition of “Sockalist”. Just to be clear that no, it’s not the list of socks you have that are missing a mate.

  210. 210.

    ninerdave

    @BR:

    Is there a danger at this site that, just like Wingnuts with their cries of Dijon Mustard! and other obscure nonsense, that by having an equally obscure vocabulary to describe things we’ll just be walling off the community of users here?

    I’d posit no.

    At the most we’re documenting slang/short hand from the liberal blogs. Really what is being defined here isn’t anything new. It’s just shorthand.

    OTOH (on the other hand) (for example) The Dijon mustard thing is code. To understand that you have to be indoctrinated to understand why Dijon is elitist if Obama chooses it on his hamburger and not elitist when McCain (substitute your favorite millionaire GOP-ite here) puts it on his hamburger.

    Nah I think us libs are a ways away from that type of shit. And well, I’ll jump ship in about two seconds, if I have to start talking in code about the GOP’s intentions or analyzing what they eat for real meaning.

  212. 212.

    ellaesther

    @JK: Oh, you know me, always handy with the depressing Middle East reference! (Did you notice that on Letterman last night, the current POTUS started to saying something along the lines of “no one thought the financial crisis would get as bad as it did” — and then quickly corrected himself: “Well, some people, some very far-thinking people, did.” SOMEONE COULD HAVE PREDICTED, AND DID! Oh Obama, you see, this is why I love you!)

    @BR: There is something to what you’re saying, but I think that’s why the dictionary is a good idea. All communities come up with jargon (hell, my family has jargon! There are conversations that happen around my dinner table that a stranger would not be able to parse to save his life). Trying to stop it is near-impossible, I think. The best you can do is not take it out on the noobs when they don’t get it (I appealed all the “Wolverines” references the other day, and was positively inundated with kind, helpful responses) and provide something like the very page John is working on.

  213. 213.

    ninerdave

    @BDeevDad:

    Strict Constitutionalists: Someone who probably doesn’t understand the Constitution

    Shorter: Someone who has never read the constitution.

  214. 214.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Interesting poll result from NBC

    GOP to Blame if Health Care Bill Doesn’t Pass
    The new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll finds that if health care reform is not passed this year, 37% will blame congressional Republicans, 16% will blame congressional Democrats and 10% will blame President Obama.

  215. 215.

    Max

    I’d like to add a list of random words that get you stuck in moderation, like a word that starts with S and you wear on your feet.

  216. 216.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Oh wait Mike was already responding to Martin. Who may have been kidding.

    Okay I’m completely link-confused, like a golfer who’s lost his map. Time to go out for breakfast.

  218. 218.

    The Dangerman

    Moderation: Software that allows words such as fuck, fucker, motherfucker, cocksucker, motherfucking cocksucker, asshole, motherfucking cocksucking asshole…

    ….but bombs on soc-ial-sim.

  219. 219.

    CaseyL

    Schiavo: Shorthand reference to the news story that was the final straw in driving our host from the GOP. A sort of reverse event horizon, in which the GOP attained a sufficiently high mass/velocity of stupid venality (or venal stupidity) to eject Cole from the still-forming Wingnut Singularity (cf).

    He is stardust. He is golden. And he’s got to get himself back to the gaaaarden.

  220. 220.

    ninerdave

    Holy crap no one has done Shorter?

    Shorter: a paraphrasing of someone’s long post summarizing what you think they are really trying to say.

    E.G:

    Post: My black friends say Obama is a racist

    Shorter Post: I’m not a racist because there is a black guy in my office.

    See the footnotes here (or any S,No! shorter post) for the history.

  224. 224.

    IndyLib

    DFH – Dirty Fucking Hippy

    Douchehat – Ross Douthat – former senior editor and blogger at The Atlantic, currently a conservative columnist for the New York Times.
    See also Chunky Reese Witherspoon

    Mission Accomplished – A term usually meant mockingly, referring to President George W. Bush’s speech on the USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003, declaring that major combat operations over in the war in Iraq. See also Bush’s Codpiece, Manly Flight Suit.

    Tweety – Chris Matthews of MSNBC’s Hardball

  226. 226.

    JK

    @ellaesther:

    Always handy with the depressing Middle East reference!

    That’s fine because I’m feeling very pessimistic about everything these days. I can supply the non-Middle East depressing references.

  227. 227.

    terry chay

    Applebee’s Salad Bar

    GWOT – Global War on Terrah (see GSAVE)

    GSAVE- Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism (see GWOT)

    Tire Swinging

    x Derangement Syndrom

    Clenis

  228. 228.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @ellaesther: I think we could really go for it and develop something like rhyming slang, which was basically, legend has it, to keep the cops from being able to understand cockney speech.

    “Terror and Pain” “Sarah Palin and John McCain”

    “Cooks” = “Cooks the Books” = “David Brooks”

    “Bartles” = “Bartles and James” (i.e., cheap watery wine instead of anything with substance)
    = Megan McCardle

    So you’d say “Well, I had a butcher’s round the old tubes and read that Bartles and Cooks were still writing about Terror and Pain..” and so on.

  229. 229.

    JK

    @asiangrrlMN:

    We’re even then. If there’s a Friday Open Thread for Music, that will wash away any bad karma I get from thinking about the MM Death Panel Commando Squad.

  230. 230.

    Existenz

    @Mark S.:

    Ding ding ding! The most accurate definition of Burkean bells that I’ve seen yet.

    David Brooks mentioned his “Burkean alarm bells” in one of his columns. Essentially, Edmund Burke is a long-dead conservative philosopher whom Sullivan and Brooks and other fiscal conservatives worship. He espoused rational thinking, caution, prudence, etc in contrast to the fiscal recklessness on display by the modern GOP. David Brooks’ “Burkean alarm bells” went off, I believe, because he was worried that Obama was going to try and do too much, too soon.

    DougJ had a hard time deciphering what Sully/Brooks/Douthat and these other guys were talking about with their references to Burke and Oakeshott, so any pompous pseudo-philosophical conservative jibber-jabber is put under the label of “Burkean bells”.

  232. 232.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @JK: Because he looks like Tweety and spits when he talks.

    Or maybe that wasn’t a question.

    Oddly, it’s Sylvester who actually spoke that way, but I always figured it was conflated into the one name.

  233. 233.

    Mark S.

    Pamela Anderson–Former Baywatch star with three arms and size Triple-Q breasts whose ads paid for a month’s worth of Tunch dinners.

  234. 234.

    dmo

    @ppcli

    b) A football team whose coach will not be mentioned on this blog out of deference to West Virginia sensibilities.”

    b) A university whose football and basketball teams will not be mentioned on this blog out of deference to West Virginia sensibilities.

    I wouldn’t have wished it upon you, John. But the alums of said university are pretty happy at the moment.

  239. 239.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    I think myiq2xu GoatBoy deserves his own entry, maybe under Hot Goat Sex.

    PUMA is another one, can’t forget the racists Propping Up McCain’s Ass.

    Skullfuck a Kitten, can’t forget that one! ;)

  245. 245.

    IndyLib

    @General Winfield Stuck:
    Thank you.

    Bobo – Nickname for conservative NYT columnist David Brooks derived from his book Bobos in Paradise:The New Upper Class and How They Got There

    Shrub – nickname for George W Bush, coined by the late Molly Ivins in her 2000 book Shrub: The Short but Happy Political Life of George W Bush

  247. 247.

    Anne Laurie

    I just wish my archives would get corrupted for everything prior to Schiavo.

    Duuuude! It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.

    And I can say that with complete Zen-master confidence, since there are no photographic records of me, age 19, in my Gene-Colan-Marvel-era “Shanna the She-Devil” costume.

  248. 248.

    IndyLib

    @JK:
    I always thought it had something to do with the Miss Clairol # 84 yellow blond dye job he does on his hair occasionally.

  249. 249.

    JK

    @Anne Laurie:

    It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.

    Anne,

    I don’t have a vote in this matter, but if I did I would say “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” should replace Consistently wrong since 2002 as the slogan for Balloon Juice.

  250. 250.

    Luthe

    The Village: the area inside the Washington Beltway

    Villager: a pundit whose thoughts never stray outside the Village and who is obsessed with pointless Washington gossip and political games.

    BoBo: David Brooks, upper-class twit who thinks he speaks for the bourgeois.

    Tire-swinging: shameless partisan hackery under the guise of “serious” journalism. See also the media’s support of John McCain’s campaign.

    Joke Line: Joe Klein, Time pundit and idiot extraordinaire. Considers research optional. Not to be confused with Ezra Klein.

    Ezra Klein: progressive blogger who actually researches his topics of choice.

    Teabagger: Wingnut who protests tax increases for the rich and objects to government spending under Obama. Often inspired to act but the constant propaganda of Fox News. Named for the prop carried at Tax Day “tea parties”, not the sexual act.

    Faux News: Fox News, Republican propaganda wing and driving force behind the wingnut descent into madness. Home of Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

    Morning Joke: Morning Joe, a program on MSNBC hosted by Joe Scarborough. Exists to prove that MSNBC is not the liberal network by giving conservative idiots a voice at a time before many have had their coffee.

  252. 252.

    gwangung

    It’s going to take very little to turn this into a Devil’s Dictionary of modern politics and sell a jillion copies…

  253. 253.

    baldheadeddork

    Burkean Bells: The post-George W. Bush phenomenon by establishment conservative pundits to redefine the modern conservative movement as an 18th and early 19th century intellectual exercise with no connection to the actions and record of the late 20th conservative movement, including their own.

  254. 254.

    Calming Influence

    For the Balloon Juice Dictionary (with apologies to Occam):

    “Tunch’s Razor: when confronted with two bowls of food that have the same nutritional and caloric value, eat them both.”

  255. 255.

    Brachiator

    Rebunk – to bring back a myth, lie, urban legend or totally discredited idea as though the evidence which reliably debunked the nonsense never existed.

  256. 256.

    stacie

    How about:

    Burkean Bells: A thought experiment that conservative-realist-intellectuals (see: Brooks, David and Sullivan, Andrew) vigorously shake in a vain attempt to drown out the shouting of the Republican base.

  257. 257.

    Mark S.

    Sunday Morning Open Thread: A chance to comment on President McCain’s latest appearances on all of the Sunday morning talk shows.

  260. 260.

    IndyLib

    @ChrisB:
    See also: What conservatives say when you have used logic or reason to back them into a rhetorical corner where the only rational response is for them to admit to abject hypocrisy, but they cannot bring themselves to do so.

  262. 262.

    Kineslaw

    FSM – Flying Spaghetti Monster
    A satirical god-creator of the universe. Originally used to mock creationism in Kansas. Now used as substitute term for God.
    Examples: FSM willing and the creek don’t rise or FSM help me

  264. 264.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Calming Influence: I don’t use cute little Internet acronyms much but LOL.

    My brother had a story about his cats that they left with a cat-sitter when they went on vacation, but just someone who came and fed them and etc, so when he and his wife returned the one cat, famous for his Tunch-like qualities, was traumatized and doing that completely freaked-out yowling sound that cats do, but also couldn’t resist the food they had put in the dish, so it came out as “YoooooowllllSnarfGlubGobbleYYOOoowwlSnarSnarfGlupOOOOWsnurfle…” and so on. Always made me laugh.

  265. 265.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Obviously late to this thread (sleeping sched and all), but I am surprised no one mentioned the tag “Clown sh-oe-s.” I have no idea what it means, but there it is.

  266. 266.

    Trinity

    Just woke up…work has been hell this week so I’ve missed you crazy BJ kids.

    And I assume it is obvious but has anyone defined ‘Wingnut’?

  267. 267.

    Gravenstone

    @Anne Laurie:

    And I can say that with complete Zen-master confidence, since there are no photographic records of me, age 19, in my Gene-Colan-Marvel-era “Shanna the She-Devil” costume

    Say now, that’s a happy thought.

    And in keeping with the thread of the thread, another Palin nick.

    Little Miss Iquitarod

  268. 268.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @steve s:

    Also: adv. Balloon-Juice specific joke made by people too stupid to understand that a joke isn’t funny after you tell it repeatedly for six months.

    Like many of the other terms mentioned in this thread, that “Also” habit is not even remotely Balloon-Juice-only, it’s all over the Internet. In the Progressive neighborhoods.

  271. 271.

    mclaren

    No one has defined “Burkean bells” correctly yet.

    Here’s the origin of the reference:

    “President Obama has concentrated enormous power on a few aides in the West Wing of the White House. (..) The people around Obama are smart and sober. Their plans are bold but seem supple and chastened by a realistic sensibility.

    “Yet they set off my Burkean alarm bells.”

    Therefore, the correct definition is:

    Burkean bells: The terrifying prospect that government might actually do something to help someone who isn’t rich.

  272. 272.

    Ash Can

    @Max: LOL! Good for him, for tweeting the speech. I’m disappointed (but not surprised) that it was shrouded in more secrecy than Enver Hoxha’s private life. I wonder how many unintended guffaws she got.

  273. 273.

    AkaDad

    “I’d like to punch him in the neck” = “I’d like to punch him in the neck.”

    Or the alternative:

    “I can’t vote for Obama until he personally gives Reverend Wright a swift kick to his junk.”

  274. 274.

    WereBear

    poutrage: frothing at the mouth over inconsequential trivialities (generally Wingnut in origin)

    rAmen: chiming in to agree with poster in the name of the FSM (can also add: may they be touched with The Noodley Appendage)

    and what about:

    Wingnut: Short for “a right-wing nut”. Popularized in blogs and throughout the Internet. Used to refer to those who unquestioningly accept and repeat right-wing propaganda no matter how outrageous or unbelieveable. Urban Dictionary

    I am amazed that there are 23 subdefs. Also.

  277. 277.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @WereBear:

    Wingnut: …I am amazed that there are 23 subdefs. Also.

    It’s because no one can define it. Wingut? Well let’s see, that would be pro-war, uhm, unless a Democratic President is involved, then not so much, a “government off our backs” type who’s pro-warrentless wiretapping and surveillance, pro-family but er, not so much if it’s a same sex partnership at the head of the family, then no rights at all, an isolationist (now) pro-nation building (then) peace-hawk, who’s, er…

    kaboom.

    Wingnut: A cognitive dissonance machine.

  278. 278.

    BruceK

    @burnspbesq:

    If Yankee Stadium is the locus and origin of everything evil in the universe, then how does one explain Dick Cheney getting booed off the Diamondvision screen there?

  280. 280.

    RedKitten

    I love the entry you put for Tunch:

    Tunch—John’s Cat name after Tunch Ilkin. Sometimes thought to be more popular with the BJ regular commentors than John Cole himself.

    Heh.

    And can I just say that I’m damn glad to have the html buttons back? It makes life much easier when I’m typing w/ only one hand (because the other one is holding the baby, of course.)

  283. 283.

    Surly Duff

    @Comrade Darkness (52):

    Don’t forget, Palin is also known as “Bible Spice”. I think that brings the total of nicknames to 8. Maybe we should just pick one?

    snowbilly:
    moosellini:
    quitta from wassilla:
    Wissilla Wonder:
    Wissilla Wingnut:
    Sparkles:
    Caribou Barbie:
    Bible Spice:

  284. 284.

    matoko_chan

    ooooo…can I do the gamerspk defns?

    Welfare epics and mercy links— A means for Andrew Sullivan and the more l33t conservative pundits to give intellectual affirmative action to retards like Megan McArdle.

    juggalos– followers of insane clowns Glenn Beck and Shaggy R. Dope.

    Teabagger Demographic— angry old white people you could meet at a Klan rally.

  285. 285.

    matoko_chan

    Tea Party: stealth Klan rally with teabags.

    dogwhistle race baiting: subliminals designed to evoke fear of the Other and any speech by Sara Palin.

  287. 287.

    MMM

    not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but I am 100% positive that picture is photo-shopped….there has been no tunch for a while….

  291. 291.

    jibeaux

    No one’s mentioned:

    WordPress Error: The former name of the blog

    yet…

    or how maybe the subtitle of the dictionary should, naturally, be: we are aware of all internet traditions.

  294. 294.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Oh my god. Those pictures are breathtakingly beautiful. I am envious of you.

    I lurve fall, too. You know why? Because it means that winter is right around the corner–at least here in MN. Winter gives me a happy. Snow, cold, being able to see my breath…it’s all good.

    Oooh, another for the BJ dictionary.

    I haz a happy and I haz a sad. Self-explanatory.

    Steeplejack, oooh, I like your definition better. I’d like to punch him in the neck = Cole’s preferred form of anger management. Perfect!

  295. 295.

    R-Jud

    @RedKitten:

    life much easier when I’m typing w/ only one hand (because the other one is holding the baby, of course.)

    And how is my future son-in-law this morning? The Bean started crawling on Sunday. She’s stuck in reverse at the moment, but she’s working it out. Gives us time to get everything off the floor and out of the way.

    Wingnut welfare: A cushy paid punditry gig in any medium offered to a Republican who has either a) resigned from office in disgrace; b) lost a re-election bid c) is related to someone who falls into either of the first two categories.

  296. 296.

    matoko_chan

    conservative: a republican who is frantically trying to scrape the bushcheney off their s h o e when no one is looking.

  297. 297.

    IndyLib

    Lizard brain
    Chickenhawks: to include a special reference to former Vice Presidents who send other people’s sons, daughters, spouses, etc. to war while taking 5 deferements during Vietnam because “I had other priorities in the 60’s than military service.”

  298. 298.

    RedKitten

    @R-Jud: He’s doing all right. We’re starting to get on a bit of a sleep schedule — he usually settles around 8 or 9pm, and is good for 4 hours, and then sleeps in 2-or-3-hour shifts until about 6:30am. I’m hoping he’ll start making those shifts a little longer soon. Other than that, though, he’s doing great. He’s up to 12 lbs. now and has been giving occasional smiles (nothing like that big gummy grin to erase any fatigue-induced exasperation, right?)

    I can just picture the Bean crawling backwards — the visual is highly entertaining.

    And, you know you’re a new parent when you go to hug your husband, and out of sheer force of habit, he starts trying to burp you. Sigh.

    Can I just say that I’m damn sorry to have missed so much of this thread? It was hugely entertaining. I do think that under “D” we need an entry explaining Darrell, as he is often still referenced around here.

    Darrell: legendary right-wing Balloon-Juice commentator, known for ability to drive even the calmest individuals into a rage. Often accused opponents of being dishonest, stating “It’s who you are.” Threads with Darrell present often reached over 300 comments, due to the arguments that would ensue. Was often thought to be John Cole himself, or one of his proxies, due to John’s inexplicable refusal to ban him. Disappeared for good (we think) sometime in 2008.

  300. 300.

    Axe Diesel Palin

    Shouldn’t someone define:

    “I Read These Morons So You Don’t Have To”

    and

    “Clown Shoes”

  302. 302.

    Axe Diesel Palin

    also needed “Keyboard Commandos” and all the terms for the right bloggers who rah rah-ed the war.

  303. 303.

    SpotWeld

    Freeper: A regular of the “Free Repulic” forums / message boards. Often inspired to post en masse to the reply section of articles mentioned on the “Free Republic” usually with the main intent of “balancing” the liberal bias of reality with strident and often obnoxious posts. (Also may be sent out to an internet poll with the specific intent of “stuffing the ballot box” with Free Republic’s reccomended opinion

    Reality: Has a known liberal bias

  304. 304.

    Fester Bestertester

    Drill, baby, drill – republican energy policy crafted not so much as energy policy but because they thought it would piss of the liberals.

    Tire guage – device used to measure the air pressure in your tires to ensure they were properly inflated, increasing your gas mileage. A simple suggestion that was easy to implement but was endlessly mocked by the proponents of drill, baby, drill.

  306. 306.

    SpotWeld

    Keyboard Commandos: A subset of bloggers who outspokently supported the invasion of Iraq (as well as Iran, China, California.. etc) and features such opinions on thier various blogs. Most notable in thier angry decouncement of anyone who was not sufficiently pro-war (or worst, anti-war) their support of the military will falter whenever a solider (or sailor, or airman) does not agree with thier specific interpretation of reality. (See Scott Thomas Beauchamp controversy, “Toy Tanks in the Sandbox”, 101st Chairboarn, Orange Fingers of Courage)

  309. 309.

    SpotWeld

    Clown Shoes: Someone or something that is just a total joke that is worth a chuckle maybe once, after that it just becomes boring and annoying. (Ref: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)

  311. 311.

    SpotWeld

    “Blogs we read so you don’t have to” A set of internet sets that are the backbone of the right-wing noise machine that are usually ground zero for the various wingnut memes, yet are so eye-bleedingly vitrolicly they really shouldn’t be read unless you are of strong constitution. (Reading some of the “articles” will result in a srtong urge to post a “jerk reply”, best to hold off and allow cooler heads to venture into the fray)

  315. 315.

    SpotWeld

    You might want to add a “#” section at the top or bottom of the list for a possible “9/12 movement” defintion or other numerical terms that come up?

  318. 318.

    gocart mozart

    Shit Moat: Any idiotic way to solve a minor problem
    [invented by yours truly last year. See Sadly No! archives]
    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/10844.html

    I have a friend in Beverly Hills, probably one of three Republicans, who had her Vote Bush signs stolen repeatedly in the last election. I did not vote for Bush; I voted for that sleazebag Kerry, but I am shocked by any effort to silence speech, and in the current election, I’m going to help her catch the people who will surely steal her McCain signs. P.S. She’s no dope. She has a dog with a head the size of Lucy, which puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. In the past, she watered it down in a bucket and made a rather large moat around the sign. So … if they got away with their signs, there was still the bill for new car carpeting, I suppose, and I just love that.

  320. 320.

    SpotWeld

    NRO: National Review Online
    TNR: The New Republic
    WND: World Net Daily, Far Right Wing News website. Often referred to a “World Nut Daily, or Wing Nut Daily”

  321. 321.

    gocart mozart

    To be clear, shit moat was coined by me in response to the above quote by Amy Alcon.
    p.s. I miss preview.

  322. 322.

    SpotWeld

    Pearl Clutching: A comment on someone’s over exagerrated menthod of reacting to something with panic and hysterial, a reference to the 1950’s era of demure housewives who were impeccably dressed in pearls (to do hoework) and would be shocked (shocked! I tell you) to the point where they could only gasp and clutch at thier pearls.

    “Why won’t Someone Think Of The Childern” See Pearl Clutching, a refence to the Simpson’s

  325. 325.

    Polish the Guillotines

    librul: n. 1) Anyone with political beliefs to the left of John Birch; 2) Any self-identifying conservative who acknowledges the existence of reality and/or actual facts.

    liebrul media: n. All media outlets other than Fox News Network and Rush Limbaugh; presumed to be run exclusively by Jews.

    Mustache Of Understanding: n. Columnist, author, and foreign policy “expert” Thomas Freidman.

    Cavuto: v. To substitute a question mark in place of a period at the end of a patently absurd statement in an effort to plausibly deny one actually believes the statement. Named for Fox News Network “journalist” Neil Cavuto. Example: Is Neil Cavuto a dangerous pedophile?

  326. 326.

    nwithers

    Serious Person – A mocking term for a member of the conservative/neo-conservative power structure that is repeatably put on network news talk shows and consulted on matters of policy despite a long track record of poor policy decisions and insane ideas for future action. see also: IOIYAR, Wingnut Welfare

    MSM – Shorthand for “Main Stream Media”, the collection of television shows, newspapers and magazines that an average american would consider the media such as CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, Washington Post, Time and Newsweek

    Unserious Person – See DFH

  328. 328.

    gocart mozart

    #gocart mozart said,August 17, 2008 at 0:58
    Her friend “has a dog with a head the size of Lucy” and said dog shits a lot so she made a moat of dog shit around her McCain sign, so be warned Sadly Noers, don’t steal McCain signs or at least check for dog shit moats first as a precaution. Word to the wise and all that.

    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/10811.html

    Sorry for the several posts. I’m trying to get the word into Websters so my life will have at least some small meaning.

  329. 329.

    Jay C

    shrill: adj. : all-purpose putdown used by right-wingers to dismiss any/all criticism of conservatives, right-wingers or Republicans and/or their policies.

    Frequency of use in direct proportion to the relationship of said criticism to reality.

  330. 330.

    gocart mozart

    To Goldberg information. Also, Goldberging. Synonym: To pantload a quote or information.
    “I’m too lazy to spend 5 minutes on Google or reading the book myself. Can anyone find a good quote for me that supports the thesis of the book I am working on. Thanks in advance.”

  331. 331.

    Cat Lady

    @SpotWeld:

    Also see: High Broderism – a fetishistic attachment to bipartisanship for bipartisanship sake, and reflexive adherence to false equivalencies, regardless of whether what one side says is bug fuck insane. The result of 40 years of believing that Dirty Fucking Hippies may be hiding under your bed. Calling bullshit on Republicans’ bullshit (ie., Death Panels) results in Pearl Clutching by practitioners of High Broderism.

    Also see: Roberts, Cokie.

    ant.: Froomkin, Dan

  334. 334.

    p.a.

    Lily: main attraction of blog ‘Balloon Juice’, written for the most part by her personal servant, one John Cole.

    Glen Beck: a driving force behind the ‘peak wingnut’ phenomenon; a phenomenon with a theoretical maximum limit which has as not yet been approached or observed. see also Rush Limbaugh.

  335. 335.

    Original Lee

    Goats – Used to mock especially shrill wingnut trolls visiting this blog. Degree of affection for goats is a metric of perceived allegiance to George W. Bush, who was reading “My Pet Goat” to a class of small children when he was notified of the first plane flying into the World Trade Center on 9/11.

  338. 338.

    tripletee

    How the hell do you get 300+ comments without someone mentioning spoof? Jesus, people.

    Spoof (var. “spoof-troll”): a left-leaning commenter who assumes the persona and/or positions of an unintelligent rightwing commenter (see “fucktard”) for purposes of parody.

    Also used as a generic putdown for genuine rightwing commenters of the dimwitted talking-point-spewing variety. (see L., Paul; Makewi) “Makewi is a bad spoof.”

    And, in honor of Paul L.:

    Duke LaCrosse: an incident from the past that a commenter just can’t let go of, even though it has long since ceased mattering to anyone else.

  339. 339.

    Mike B

    A useful feature for the dictionary would be to have HTML anchors for each definition so that entries could be directly referenced in hyperlinks.

    It’s a nice feature, though. I like it. I don’t keep up with this (or other blogs) enough to always be on top of the vernacular.

  340. 340.

    Cole Moore Odell

    Blogger Ethics Panel— (noun) meeting to be called whenever the mainstream media is caught in an ethical lapse, because obviously it’s dirty Cheeto-eating bloggers who have no sense of journalistic integrity and who need to search their souls and/or be shut down so the grownups can do their jobs that they went to J-school and paid their dues for (used mockingly by bloggers)

    Very Serious—(adj) applied to a person or viewpoint held in great esteem by The Village, and is, redundantly, entirely wrong.

  341. 341.

    mrmike

    since there are no photographic records of me, age 19, in my Gene-Colan-Marvel-era “Shanna the She-Devil” costume.

    IBIMB. :)

    FSM – Flying Spaghetti Monster
    A satirical god-creator of the universe. Originally used to mock creationism in Kansas. Now used as substitute term for God.
    Examples: FSM willing and the creek don’t rise or FSM help me

    See Also: IPU (PBUH)

  342. 342.

    Billy K

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    I am surprised no one mentioned the tag “Clown sh-oe-s.” I have no idea what it means, but there it is.

    I, too, would like to see a definition of Clown Sh_oes. I vaguely remember the post in which it originated, but the deeper meaning is lost to the ravages of time and booze.

  343. 343.

    Splitting Image

    I found the link to the original naming of Michelle Malkin as Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage.

    That link leads to the column where Malkin calls Islam the “Religion of Perpetual Outrage”, hence her title.

  344. 344.

    binzinerator

    @Comrade Luke:

    I’ve never known what Balloon Juice referred to, and have been too ashamed to ask.

    I always thought balloon juice was the ‘water’ that sometimes drips out of the balloon when slowly deflating it to make high-pitched squeaky fart noises.

    Balloon juice is formed from slobber that sometimes sorta accidentally gets inside a balloon when inflating it.

  348. 348.

    binzinerator

    @gocart mozart:

    Shit Moat
    [invented by yours truly last year. See Sadly No! archives]

    Oh Jesus that was you? I remember I laughed until I had tears when I had read that. And for weeks I’d come back to it to see what new uses were made of it to mock that twit Alkon. And laugh my ass off all over again.

    “Travertina stone floors, slab granite counters, maple cabinets and landscaped front & rear w/enormous moat of dog shit surrounding property.”

    LMAO, still.

  351. 351.

    Duncan Wright

    wharrgarbl (n) one-word stand-in for any angry, incoherent, pointless reaction, comment, or attack. Derived from the famous loldog snapping angrily at a sprinkler
    http://paycreate.com/perry/wharrgarbl.jpg

    Commonly used on political threads on Fark.com, it has derived the follow on term wharrgarbller to describe tearfully that they are very worried that the government may start interfering with Medicare.

  352. 352.

    Duncan Wright

    wharrgarbl (n) one-word stand-in for any angry, incoherent, pointless reaction, comment, or attack. Derived from the famous loldog snapping angrily at a sprinkler
    http://paycreate.com/perry/wharrgarbl.jpg

    Commonly used on political threads on Fark.com, it has derived the follow on term wharrgarbller to describe angry people that are tearfully that they are very worried that the government may start interfering with Medicare.

  353. 353.

    tripletee

    I’ve never known what Balloon Juice referred to, and have been too ashamed to ask.

    Balloon Juice is simply hot air – see the little dude in the logo powering the hot-air balloon with a megaphone?

    The site’s original tagline used to be “Hot Air & Ill-Informed Opinions” or something close to that.

  356. 356.

    Polish the Guillotines

    Hey, there are no “A” entries yet in the dictionary. How about:

    Agent Flowbee — Derogatory name for former CIA analyst and purveyor of the “Whitey Tape” smear, Larry Johnson.

    And while we’re at it…

    Whitey Tape — A purported recording of Michelle Obama attacking white people which was guaranteed to bring down the Obama campaign. Commonly used to refer to any alleged Republican “smoking gun” evidence of Democratic wrong-doing.

  358. 358.

    Cole Moore Odell

    Suck. On. This. — Very Serious Person Tom Friedman’s phallic definition of US foreign policy aims in Iraq in particular, and the Middle East in general.

  359. 359.

    thomas

    I don’t know if this has been included

    pastafarian 1. follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, 2. member of the FSN church, 3. DFH

  360. 360.

    protected static

    @NutellaonToast: I’ve observed FYWP in the wild @ Sadly, No! far more frequently than @ Balloon Juice.

    As for the definition of FYWP, while it encompasses the WordPress-ate-my-never-before-considered-with-such-care-comment moments, it is also invoked when a user’s geek-fu goes awry, such as having the del tag work in a comment, but not the corresponding ins tag (*ahem*); or when HTML or Unicode trickery/geekery works in preview boxes, but not when the comment is actually posted.

  361. 361.

    bago

    @ET: “We’re all Mayans now” is a combination of McCain’s “We’re all Georgians now” bit, coupled with the possibility of Palin running in 2012, the year the mayan calendar ends.

  362. 362.

    JenJen

    Hey John, et al, an important dictionary definition that hasn’t been mentioned yet; this one always sticks out for me, because one of the first times I ever read this blog, I had to go look it up:

    DWTFTW – “Do Whatever The Fuck They Want.” Often used to describe the Bush-Cheney Administration’s approach to domestic and foreign policy.

  363. 363.

    gocart mozart

    Costco Coulter:Debbie Schlausel

    Our Lady of Internment Camps: Michele Malkin

    Kerners are go; Kerning: To “disprove something by obsessing about the font style or other trivia.

    Oily Taint: a more accurate name for renowned courtroom dentist Oirly Taits.

  364. 364.

    bjacques

    “Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.” Somewhat recently applied to whether or not Mickey Kaus, a Salon columnist notorious for printing unsourced libels about the left, really does blow goats. The quote originally came from former Reagan speechwriter Peggy “morning in America” Nooner, when she wondered in the Wall Street Urinal whether Clinton could have been blackmailed by Cuba to sent Elian Gonzales (boy, does that take me back).

  368. 368.

    EL

    @SpotWeld:

    Freeper: A regular of the “Free Repulic” forums / message boards.

    Also know as “Freeptards,” “Freepnuts,” and “Freepi”

  370. 370.

    EL

    @p.a.:

    Lily: main attraction of blog ‘Balloon Juice’, written for the most part by her personal servant, one John Cole.

    I must politely differ as the correct name in that definition. After all, dogs have masters, cats have staff.

  371. 371.

    Glen Tomkins

    Amen, brother

    …on that wish that the archives before a certain date would get corrupted. There’s few of us who wouldn’t wish to see the county courthouse burn down at some point or other so that we could start out again with a clean slate, and I sure ain’t one of those happy, virtuous few.

  373. 373.

    John

    This has been well fun to read. Here’s a few that I like:

    nerd fight: two blog commentors arguing with obscure statistical analyses

    Hiking the Appalachian Trail: American English: political figure involved in sexual misdemeanours

    Ugandan Discussions: British English: political figure involved in sexual misdemeanours

    Arugula eater: person with an education, who eats vegetables and, coincidentally, wants to destroy the United States of America

    Latte sipper: person with an education, who drinks coffee with milk in it and, coincidentally, wants to destroy the United States of America

    Wingnut skank: attractive woman who is also certifiably insane (see: Malkin, Michelle; Bachmann, Michelle; Palin, Sarah)

    Wingnut twink: person of indeterminate gender who is also certifiably insane (see: Coulter, Ann)

    Fruit Fly research: Extremely valuable government-funded scientific research mischaracterised by idiotic (see: Palin, Sarah) , or disingenuous (see: Volcano Monitoring; Jindal, Bobby) politician

  374. 374.

    farmette

    Tunch is “nail gazing” in that photo. He’s contemplating the small piece of his nail stuck to the futon cover. Tunch must be very introspective.

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