Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Come on, man.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Second rate reporter says what?

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Let there be snark.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

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Anne Laurie must have been a busy bee over night, because when I woke up there were a bunch of definitions in the dictionary. I’ve revised a few, and added a dozen or so more, so check it out and make any corrections or additions in the comments. Are there any notable omissions?

Reader Interactions

162Comments

  2. 2.

    cleek

    while i totally agree with your description of me description as “genius commentator”, the script is actually a GreaseMonkey script (not Monkeywrench as the description says).

  3. 3.

    cleek

    “Tire-Swinging” is a reference to reporters hanging out with every reporter’s man-crush, John McCain, at his house, while enjoying the tire swing in his backyard.

    coined by a TPM reader.

  4. 4.

    General Winfield Stuck

    If I haven’t said it before, kudos Senor Cole for bringing Anne Laurie on board. Good choice indeed.

  5. 5.

    demimondian

    Tire-swinging — Press coverage with a whiff — or, perhaps, more than a whiff — of sycophancy. Originally coined by Josh Marshall at TPM in regard to this remarkable piece of prose, which began with a description of the idyllic setting:

    There are worse ways to spend a sunny Sunday afternoon than swinging lazily back and forth on a tire swing strung up under a massive sycamore tree in a quiet Arizona canyon, the sound of a gushing stream nearby.

  9. 9.

    Mr. Nobody

    Should add a definition for FSM aka Flying Spaghetti Monster, which I am too lazy to come up with on my own…

  10. 10.

    smiley

    I thought it was “Baby Blue Cherub” rather that “Powder Blue Satan.” But that’s what I remember Markos calling that site. Kinda a contrast thing (satan vs. cherub). But if “Powder Blue Satan” is more common, I’m cool with that.

  11. 11.

    cleek

    @cleek: of course BJ goes tits-up just as i discover my typo, thus holding me back with the stiff arm of “No Response” while my edit timer expires, closing the window of opportunity in which i could fix it.

    (i killed all those metaphors just for you)

    also, PUMA = “Party Unity My Ass” – the rallying cry of the Hillary dead-enders.

    also, you need “and a Pony”, which a believe came from here.

  13. 13.

    cleek

    @cleek: of course BJ goes tits-up just as i discover my typo, thus holding me back with the stiff arm of “No Response” while my edit timer expires, closing the window of opportunity in which i could fix it.

    (i killed all those metaphors just for you)

    also, PUMA = “Party Unity My Ass” – the rallying cry of the Hillary dead-enders.

    also, you need “and a Pony”, which i believe came from here.

    also, you need “also” and “such as”.

  14. 14.

    Warren Terra

    Arugula: a variant of lettuce also called “Rocket”; a major crop in parts of Iowa. Used, mostly sarcastically, as a synonym for elitism, at least in part because while campaigning for the 2008 nomination Barack Obama made a speech in Iowa, much derided on the right, in which he referred to the huge markup Whole Foods manages to obtain on the arugula grown by members of his audience.

    Also: When used as a single-word clause at the end of a statement, this is a blogospheric joke made by people in mocking emulation of one of Sarah Palin’s many verbal ticks. Some people are sick of seeing this joke, and may react unpredictably. See also: “Also, too”.

    TAP = The American Prospect, a center-left policy monthly closely aligned with the Center for American Progress; gave Matthew Yglesias and The Good Klein (Ezra), among others, their first paid jobs as writers and as bloggers. Home of the group blog TAPPED.

    some others that I haven’t attempted to define, still not defined but not currently in the Dictionary, mostly from skimming the thread:

    (A – probably incomplete – list of Palin nicknames: Snowbilly, Moosellini, Quitta From Wassilla, Wassilla Wonder, Wissilla Wingnut, Sparkles, Caribou Barbie, Bible Spice, Iquitarod)
    Agent Flowbee
    Astroturf
    Bobo
    Chairborne (or Keyboarders, with or without the 101st prefix)
    Cheetos
    Drill, Baby, Drill
    Faux News
    FSM
    Heh, indeed
    Lucky Ducky
    Morning Joke
    Pamela Anderson (Or “Pam Ad”)
    Shorter
    Teabagger
    Tire Gauge
    Tweety
    Village
    Whitey Tape
    Wingnut
    Wordpress > Error (needs its own entry)

  15. 15.

    Robin G.

    I believe that the phrase “No one could have predicted” actually came into general use post-Katrina, as in the famous line uttered by Bush in early morning interview (Today Show?), “No one could have predicted the levees would break.” Condi used it before then, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t enter the blog lexicon until August 2005.

  19. 19.

    Da Bomb

    I just read the Jane Hamsher definition and linked blog.

    WOW!

    You were going through the change John, getting ready to surrender to the dark side and hang out with us DFHs.

    I am not that crazy about Jane Hansher’s. She can be a little shrill. But not in a good way. If there is such a thing.

  20. 20.

    cleek

    about that census worker… it’s probably wise to assume suicide until proven otherwise.

    don’t want to look all Malkinish in your desire to assign blame.

    —

    also need “Our lady of perpetual outrage” (Malkin) and “sandbox” (after the classic wingnut Beauchamp debunkification attempt)

  21. 21.

    Tim F.

    I believe that Atrios deserves credit for Blogger Ethics Panel, Friedman Unit, Jokeline, Very Serious People and Whiny Ass Titty Baby.

    Hoot-Smalley needs a link to Michele Bachmann’s infamous speech.

    “I like pie” ccomes from this thread which, partially by design, devolved into possibly the most epic flamewar in Balloon Juice history. The phrase was inspired by the pie ad war at Daily Kos.

  26. 26.

    gwangung

    about that census worker… it’s probably wise to assume suicide until proven otherwise.

    don’t want to look all Malkinish in your desire to assign blame.

    Alternately, it could have been a worker who stumbled onto a “commercial” pot growing operation (via Pandagon). Still not good, but not quite as dire.

  28. 28.

    smiley

    “Our lady of perpetual outrage”

    I agree that this needs to be added. Not just Malkin. All the others too.

  29. 29.

    Calouste

    “Dude, where my recession?”

    The recession mentioned in the dictionary definition started in 2007, not in 2008 as mentioned, although of course it wasn’t made official until the Bush administration could no longer possibly hide it.

  33. 33.

    Warren Terra

    I believe that Atrios deserves credit for Blogger Ethics Panel, Friedman Unit, Jokeline, Very Serious People and Whiny Ass Titty Baby.

    Atrios definitely deserves the credit for some of those, and maybe including “Friedman Unit”, but while Atrios may have obsessed on the phenomenon before they studied it, and may even have coined the term “Friedman Unit” (and indeed, Wikipedia gives him the credit for the word), the critical work in proving the absolute justice of the accusation contained in the term was provided by a study from Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting.

    This mention of the Mustache reminds me: is there a clever one-word encapsulation of Friedman’s obsession with interviewing imaginary Taxi Drivers?

    Also, does strawman require definition? How about No True Scotsman?

  34. 34.

    HyperIon

    Here’s a suggestion for the FAQ:

    List what functions are available in what browsers.

    I keep hearing rumors of and references to an edit function for already submitted comments, ya know, like we used to have?

    But I don’t see it.
    Is it my browser (FF 3.0.14)?

    And the blockquote is still pathetic (the last time i checked).
    Why not put this stuff in the FAQ?

    I tried to fire up IE6 and, after about 10 error messages, it eventually produced this result:
    ===============================
    We’re sorry, but we could not fulfill your request for /?p=27234&cpage=1#comment-1378704 on this server.

    You do not have permission to access this server.

    Your technical support key is: 407a-ced2-dfd9-b1ad

    You can use this key to fix this problem yourself.

    If you are unable to fix the problem yourself, please contact jgriffincole at gmail.com and be sure to provide the technical support key shown above.
    ================================

    Griffin?

  39. 39.

    SGEW

    You people are amazing. Just amazing. I heartily regret that I missed out on th’ definition fest.

    I admit that I was leery of the entire idea of a B-J dictionary (navel gazing, and all that), but y’all have proved my skepticism wrong. A valuable trove of all internet traditions, indeed!

  41. 41.

    Skepticat

    Excellent job, AL, thanks. This may rival Funk & Wagnalls.

    As it’s referenced in “center left country,” perhaps “center right country” should be added, either as an extension of that definition or on its own.

  42. 42.

    JenJen

    John, I put this in the other thread, but to me this is still a notable omission; one of the first times I ever read this blog, I had to go look it up:

    DWTFTW – “Do Whatever The Fuck They Want.” Often used to describe the Bush-Cheney Administration’s approach to domestic and foreign policy.

    Don’t think you’ve used that one in awhile. Hmmm. :-)

  43. 43.

    JK

    @Mark S.:

    Glenn Beck is a malignant media carcinogen and a raving, drooling, nailbiting, bedwetting loon.

    His tv and radio broadcasts are a crime against reason, logic, rationality, truth, and facts.

    There should be a special place in Hell reserved for him and the bastard media execs who made him a star like Jonathan Klein, Roger Ailes, and Rupert Murdoch.

  46. 46.

    Warren Terra

    @ SGEW, #39

    You people are amazing. Just amazing. I heartily regret that I missed out on th’ definition fest.

    Nah, you just missed the low-hanging fruit, and maybe not all of those. Aim for the stars!

    (More seriously, we’ve probably missed a bunch of good ones, and if you read the previous thread or even just my first comment in this thread there are a whole bunch of good terms already suggested for which no definition has yet appeared in the Dictionary or even been written in the threads. Or you could offer improvements for an existing definition.)

    On that topic, a few more things I think have been missed:
    the whole Red/Blue definition (which is younger than you might think: I remember that right after the 2000 election different news sources such as CNN or the New York Times used red or blue for Democratic and Republican but weren’t consistent in which party got which color – I have no idea how blue = Democratic became a standard)
    Keyboard Kommandos
    the Red State Trike Farce

  48. 48.

    Dreggas

    Applebees Salad bar – i think it was another bit of High Broderism but can’t remember who said it.

  55. 55.

    Warren Terra

    @ Dreggas, #48

    Applebees Salad bar – i think it was another bit of High Broderism but can’t remember who said it.

    It was, of course, David Brooks, also called Bobo, who contains within his an entire imaginary Middle America, not completely identical with the real Rural America, which he deigns to actually visit. His imaginary version is more useful, as it conveniently happens to provide (invented) evidence to back whatever point he wishes to make.

    See also the classic 2004 Sasha Issenberg article “Boo-Boos In Paradise”, which investigated, debunked, and skewered Brooks’s book “Bobos In Paradise”; a sample:

    Brooks, an agile and engaging writer, was doing what he does best, bringing sweeping social movements to life by zeroing in on what Tom Wolfe called “status detail,” those telling symbols — the Weber Grill, the open-toed sandals with advanced polymer soles — that immediately fix a person in place, time and class. Through his articles, a best-selling book, and now a twice-a-week column in what is arguably journalism’s most prized locale, the New York Times op-ed page, Brooks has become a must-read, charming us into seeing events in the news through his worldview.
    There’s just one problem: Many of his generalizations are false.
    ….
    Brooks could be dismissed as little more than a snarky punch-line artist, except that he postures as a public intellectual — and has been received as one.
    ….
    In January, I made my own trip to Franklin County, 175 miles southwest of Philadelphia, with a simple goal: I wanted to see where David Brooks comes up with this stuff.

    If you haven’t already, then, as they say: Read the whole thing.

    The Issenberg article predated Brooks embarrassing himself with imaginary Applebees Salad Bars, but, touchingly, Brooks did invent a nonexistent Applebees factoid that Issenberg skewered in the article.

  56. 56.

    lamh31

    who in the world is advising Gov Patterson? In what universe does this look like a good strategy:

    “The New York Post reports that David Paterson’s wife today strayed onto the racially-charged turf the White House likes least, blasting Obama in pretty clear terms of solidarity:

    She called it “very unfair” that the president asked New York’s “first African-American governor” not to seek office.

    “You never heard of that before,” Michelle Paterson said. “David’s the first African-American governor in the state of New York and he’s being asked to get out of the race. It’s very unusual and it seems very unfair.”

    Oh, also: Paterson’s doing Meet the Press Sunday.”
    http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0909/Patersons_revenge.html?showall

  58. 58.

    demimondian

    @Dreggas: Not exactly. It was his His High Brooksness, Bobo Himself, in the NYT during the Presidential campaign. He opined, with his typical Very Serious Sententiousness, that Barack Obama “didn’t appear to be someone who would be comfortable at an Applebee’s Salad Bar.” That’s actually a true statement, since there *are* no Applebee’s Salad Bars, and Obama does appear to be more comfortable in the real world.

  61. 61.

    Warren Terra

    who in the world is advising Gov Paterson? In what universe does this look like a good strategy:

    My guess is Roland Burris. But I’m as mystified as you are.

  63. 63.

    JenJen

    @lamh31:

    Oh, also: Paterson’s doing Meet the Press Sunday.”

    And who wants to bet Fred Armisen will be portraying Governor Paterson the night before, on the “Saturday Night Live” season premier? ;-)

  64. 64.

    Lev

    I enjoyed looking through the dictionary, but I just read Gore Vidal’s novel Washington, D.C., and he uses the term village in exactly the same way bloggers do, and he wrote it in 1967.

    Gore Vidal = ur-liberal blogger.

  66. 66.

    Lev

    @JK: I just love the wingnuts rallying around David Paterson. Of course, they want to dump him as much as the Democrats do, which is why they’re going to field a candidate against him. But any pretext to stir up a racial story, eh? Another opportunity to remind people, “Hey there, that guy’s black!”

    Pathetic. In a sane universe, Republicans would have heard that news and say, “We agree! Paterson is bad! Because we want New York to be governed well, we’d rather face someone that can do the job in the election!”

  67. 67.

    jl

    No Lily? Uh oh, a certain dawg is going to be upset.

    The entry on Tunch has a BIG, rather LARGE and AMPLE, HEAVY WEIGHT omission, that leaves a BIG FAT blank in the reader’s knowledge, that I will not specify further at this time.

  68. 68.

    JK

    @JenJen:

    I’m very open minded when it comes to comedy and I’m definitely not a prude.

    Last season’s SNL sketch with David Patterson appearing on Weekend Update was disgusting with a capital D. When the fuck did it become hip, cool, or edgy to make fun of blindness? Seth Myers, Lorne Michaels, and anyone else responsible for writing or approving that material should have gotten punched very hard in the face multiple times.

  72. 72.

    JK

    @Lev:

    I sure as Hell hope that we can avoid the tragedy of Governor Rudy Giuliani. We dodged a major bullet when his presidential campaign collapsed like a house of cards. I just want the Democrats to hold this governor’s seat, I don’t care if it’s David Patterson, Andrew Cuomo, et al. A Republican victory in the NY governor’s race would be a major league disaster.

  74. 74.

    Shinobi

    Should probably define the 101st Chairborne as it is used in the definition for WOLVERINES!

    Also, most fun I’ve ever had reading a dictionary.

  75. 75.

    jl

    Media personalities that might be added:
    Tweety
    Scar

    Also, while it may not be technically part of the definition for Tunch, instructions for finding him on Google Earth would be nice.

  78. 78.

    cleek

    @Ash:

    based on follow up reports, yes.

    but the initial report said there was no determination either way. and all i said we should withhold judgment until more facts are given. apparently more facts have been given.

  79. 79.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @JK:

    Last season’s SNL sketch with David Patterson appearing on Weekend Update was disgusting with a capital D. When the fuck did it become hip, cool, or edgy to make fun of blindness? Seth Myers, Lorne Michaels, and anyone else responsible for writing or approving that material should have gotten punched very hard in the face multiple times.

    No way, that was funny shit. And what the hell is wrong with making fun of blind people?

    Jesus, this blog is going to the dogs.

  80. 80.

    RedKitten

    That dictionary is going to be fracking huge by the time we’re through with it — there are years of inside jokes and lingo to go through, here.

  81. 81.

    JenJen

    @JK: Hmmm.

    I saw the sketches as more of a general attack on his character; they weren’t just blatantly going after his handicap. And they’re not randomly making fun of blindness and blind people, they’re making fun of the Governor of New York, who happens to be blind. As a public figure, he’s open to ridicule, and I guess I don’t see how you skewer Governor Paterson without bringing his blindness into the sketch.

    I can absolutely see where a lot of people found those sketches to be in bad taste. It’s a little tricky with the Governor; his rather awful leadership invites comedy and satire, but how do you do it without offending some people? Do you just not make fun of Gov. Paterson at all?

  82. 82.

    jl

    Was it offensive to make fun of Bush II even if it hurt the feelings of many clueless people? I ask you that.

    Except, they are clueless, so, maybe they wouldn’t notice.

    Um, I guess I will have to think this through some more.

  83. 83.

    BWthemoose

    Riding the tire swing— a phrase coined by Josh Marshall in either the spring or summer of 2008, after a particularly egregious attempt by John McCain to ingratiate himself with the media elite by throwing a bar-b-q with his “famous dry rub”. Marshall likened it to a summer picnic barbeque,with all the cool kids splashing in the pool and swinging on the tire swing in the backyard–in other words a loss of objectivity caused by over-familiarity.

  84. 84.

    Cat Lady

    @Roger Moore: @RedKitten:

    I have used “two wetsuits and a dildo” as shorthand for hypocritical “Republican values” shenanigans, and have met with shocked stony silence, forgetting that only here at BJ (oh! the irony!) does anyone get what I mean. It was hard to backpedal with an explanation, needless to say. I love you guys!

    This dictionary may end up being the Trantor of All Internet Traditions (TM).

  85. 85.

    freelancer

    We Are All Mayans Now: Despair felt by sane people and general sign of an impending apocalypse brought on by insane ideologues and batshit ideas being taken seriously on the national stage or by the media, especially with relation to the Republican Presidential Primary/General Election of 2012. First mentioned here.

  86. 86.

    tripletee

    @Tim F.:

    “I like pie” ccomes from this thread which, partially by design, devolved into possibly the most epic flamewar in Balloon Juice history. The phrase was inspired by the pie ad war at Daily Kos.

    And, it should be noted, the first I Like Pie! script was written by our own Perry Como – not to take anything away from cleek’s awesome work.

    As for definitions, there definitely needs to be a mention of Darrell, he of the “it’s just who you are” and “dishonest as hell” and trailing off sentences

    It could probably be included in a definition of Darrelling: to derail a thread with a series of ad hominem attacks, off-topic diversions (see jackalope) and brazen distortions and outright lies. The perpetrator of a Darrelling is immune to all facts and reason, pathologically incapable of admitting error, and absolutely will not stop, ever, until a) they are banned, b) people wise up and stop responding, or c) the heat death of the universe (whichever comes first). They may also display an inappropriate degree of interest in Boy Scouts.

    Also, spoof needs to be in there, probably with a mention of BJ’s most famous practitioner of the form, DougJ. And that reminds me – “We are all DougJ” – snide response to a widely discredited yet strangely compelling belief that almost all BJ commenters are actually personas written by John Cole and/or spoofmaster DougJ as part of a vast, shadowy conspiracy to … we don’t know what, exactly.

    Also, Duke LaCrosse.

    @RedKitten:

    That dictionary is going to be fracking huge by the time we’re through with it—there are years of inside jokes and lingo to go through, here.

    Light ’em up!

  87. 87.

    JK

    @JenJen:

    I’m a not a comedy writer, but it’s certainly possible to make fun of Patterson without resorting to this garbage contained in the SNL sketch.

    Patterson holds up a chart which is upside down because he can’t see it. He wanders aimlessly across the Weekend Update set because he can’t see where the exit is located.

    This stuff is fucking bullshit. David Patterson is not defined solely by the fact that he is blind. Patterson’s policies can be mocked without mocking his blindness. SNL went for the cheapest laughs possible by sinking into the gutter. They have no excuse for putting this trash on the air.

  89. 89.

    Morbo

    Ow, son of a bitch! I twisted my ankle again (originally did it on the 5th) and lost a disc in a pond. That makes for one of the worst league nights I’ve ever had. Pizza and cold drink are the remedies tonight.

  90. 90.

    tripletee

    @Cat Lady:

    I have used “two wetsuits and a dildo” as shorthand for hypocritical “Republican values”

    I cannot believe that I forgot about two wetsuits and a dildo. Which brings up another one – “throwing away meth”: a hilariously implausible explanation proffered by a conservative family-values type who is caught red-handed in a very compromising position. A reference to mega-church pastor Ted Haggard, who was forced to admit to buying meth from a gay prostitute, but claimed that he “threw it away” and only received a massage from the escort. See also: “wide stance.”

  91. 91.

    Warren Terra

    Oh, and in honor of Tripletee, and sorry if this irritates any wounds from Primary Season still not healed: someone needs to do one for The Tuzla Tigress. Any definition must include a link to the thread that featured Tripletee’s famous Clinton Diaries.

  92. 92.

    freelancer

    Here’s one I haven’t seen but we’ve been completely glossing over:

    WINGNUT: A right-wing ideologue loyal to the partyline above all else, including reason, logic, family, evidence, or facts. Generally more dissociative from reality than the timecube guy, making them basically the liberal wing of the modern Republican party.

    But I know y’all can do better than that.

    Freepers, also.

  93. 93.

    bago

    Monkey Torture. Should be applicable on the entire discussion about the media usage of the term “Enhanced Interrogation Techniques” when talking about torture.

    Either that or it’s just a funny as hell skit.

  94. 94.

    tripletee

    @Warren Terra:

    Any definition must include a link to the thread that featured Tripletee’s famous Clinton Diaries.

    Aw shucks. Looking back on that, the funniest part was when myiq2xu complimented me on it.

  96. 96.

    RedKitten

    @tripletee: I agree with everything you just said.

    Hey, remember when scs thought that everybody was DougJ? She really got obsessed with it for awhile — it was entertaining until it became annoying.

    And yes, there does need to be some sort of entry in there honouring the long and illustrious history of spoof here at BJ.

  98. 98.

    nadezhda

    I haven’t made my way through the entire early rounds of the dictionary. But in case these have been overlooked:

    Further explanation of the origins of the Moustache of Understanding would be useful. It’s from a cartoon from August 2005 by David Rees as part of his Get Your War On series. I can’t find the cartoon on his site, though I suspect it’s included in the book he did from early years of the series. But it’s been captured for history at the blog The Moustache of Understanding.

    “Pearl-clutching” should show up somewhere — either as its own entry (with a link to The Editors annual award for The Purple Tear Drop with Clutched Pearl Cluster) or as part of the Village.

  99. 99.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Hey, don’t forget to include an entry or two for those newbies that drop by and wonder why the hell we’re begging a guy not to kill himself every other day or offering marriage counseling to everyone else.

  100. 100.

    Existenz

    Mike’s Burkean Bells definition (the one that is now profiled on Andrew Sullivan’s blog) should definitely be added, along with his definition of Oakeshott.

  101. 101.

    tripletee

    @RedKitten:

    Hey, remember when scs thought that everybody was DougJ? She really got obsessed with it for awhile—it was entertaining until it became annoying.

    I still think you’re DougJ. That whole manufactured “birth” thing was about as convincing as Scott Beauchamp’s fables about Iraq.

    Another random one just popped into my head: “Jesus – NTZYM.” This dictionary could go on forever.

  103. 103.

    tripletee

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Hey, don’t forget to include an entry or two for those newbies that drop by and wonder why the hell we’re begging a guy not to kill himself every other day or offering marriage counseling to everyone else.

    Should probably explain Hola Fruta and naked mopping too, insofar as that’s possible, lest newbies get the wrong idea about our host.

  104. 104.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @tripletee:

    Should probably explain Hola Fruta and naked mopping too, insofar as that’s possible, lest newbies get the wrong idea about our host.

    What would be the right idea to get?

  106. 106.

    freelancer

    Cross Reference to the Friedman Unit, and the Moustache of Understanding:

    Suck. On. This. : Neo-con foreign policy in three syllables. Spoken by Tom Friendman in an interview with Charlie Rose in 2003.

    What they needed to see was American boys and girls going house to house, from Basra to Baghdad, um and basically saying, “Which part of this sentence don’t you understand?” You don’t think, you know, we care about our open society, you think this bubble fantasy, we’re just gonna to let it grow? Well, Suck. On. This. […] We could have hit Saudi Arabia. It was part of that bubble. Could have hit Pakistan. We hit Iraq because we could.

    Video here.

  110. 110.

    demimondian

    @RedKitten: Seems to me that one of our other favorite spoofs, he who shall go nameless, he of many names, wrote an absolutely awesome history of spooftrollery on BJuice once upon a time…

  115. 115.

    Fulcanelli

    Palin’s various handles could be included such as:

    Caribou Barbie, the Wasilla Wingnut and others… no?

  119. 119.

    Jay in Oregon

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Good to hear.

    This is the best I’ve felt in weeks. The weekend was pretty rough, but now that things are getting back to normal (and my medication has been upped) I feel like I’m getting hold of myself again.

    I plan to eat dinner, take the dog for a walk, then relax with a book. And maybe get some honest sleep for a change.

  120. 120.

    Warren Terra

    How about:
    B-Rock “The Islamic Shock” Hussein Superallah Obama X The son of Malcolm X, and/or Barack Hussein Obama Sr., and Stanley Ann Dunham. Born simultaneously in Seattle and in Kenya, and perhaps also in Indonesia. A political candidate certain to lose to Senator Clinton in the 2008 Democratic primaries once the superdelegates come to their senses.

  121. 121.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Jay in Oregon: Most excellent, Jay! I’m glad to hear that you are feeling closer to normal. Yeah, getting your meds right can be a pain in the ass, but it’s so worth it. You’re on the right track with dinner, dog-walking, and book-reading. Keep posting, man.

  122. 122.

    Splitting Image

    Has anyone nailed down a definition for Burkean Bells yet?

    Burkean Bells: A mental alarm that goes off in the heads of conservatives when they have their hands in the federal cookie jar, telling them that it is time for them to talk about fiscal responsibility and national security.

    Also, Charles Krauthammer should probably be added to the list of “Serious People”, and there should be an entry for “Sometimes you just have to keep walking”.

    Sometimes you just have to keep walking: The assertion that an important job ought to be given to someone who can be trusted to do the work selectively, if at all. Articulated by Peggy Noonan with regard to investigating the use of torture under George W. Bush.

    There should also probably be definitions for Hitler, Nazism, fascism, death camps, death panels, communism and the rest of the terms that have become popularly associated with Obama this year. Hitler’s definition should note the double meaning.

    Hitler: 1) A heroic visionary, decades ahead of his time, who was dragged unwillingly into World War II by the actions of Great Britain and France, as described by Pat Buchanan.

    2) An archetypical dictator regarded as the most evil of his kind until surpassed by Ayatollah Khomeini, Saddam Hussein, the “Axis of Evil”, and Barack Obama, each of whom is known by Republicans to be “worse than Hitler”.

  123. 123.

    Warren Terra

    @ Splitting Image, #122
    I agree with you that Keep walking needs to be defined, but I don’t think your current version quite captures it for me somehow.

  124. 124.

    freelancer

    Methinks that the entry for “Moonbats” needs tweeked:

    Moonbat- Comparable to ‘wingnut’. A term that rightwingers use to describe irrational leftwing extremists. EDIT: For actual wingnuts, this term applies to anyone they perceive to be a nanometer to the left of their own exact position.

  125. 125.

    Fulcanelli

    @asiangrrlMN: I’ve had to wean myself off the news, even when filtered through the BJ commentariat, for a few days at a time lately. Pisses me off way more than is healthy.

    I jump back in and I see the story about that census worker. They should be real proud, the ignorant pigfucking Kentucky hillbilly coward bastards who did that. And I say cowards, plural, because just one person doesn’t attack and hang somebody. A single dad cancer survivor who put himself through night school. Suicide, my ass.

    Chances are he was a local too. This is what they’d do to one of their own? Real Americans(TM) suck. And you can quote me.

    /rant THIS bitches

  128. 128.

    Splitting Image

    One more that I think we missed: Center-Right Nation

    A pundit’s assertion that the administration must conform itself to the views of the American people, who are known to be right of center. The Center is defined as being to the right of the pundit himself (or herself), since the news media are known to have a liberal bias. (See MSM). The pundit is therefore able to argue that American policy needs to be considerably further to the right of the pundit’s own opinions, regardless of what those opinions happen to be.

  129. 129.

    slag

    Sad to see that Wingnut Event Horizon didn’t make the cut as it is one of my new-found favorites.

    Ditto on “keep walking”, “suck on this”, and (on the positive side) “we’re all Mayans now”.

  131. 131.

    Funkhauser

    Any mention of the 101st Chairborne needs the synonyms 101st Fighting Keyboarders and Keyboard Commandos (hat tip, The Editors) in the definition.

    Also, Also.

  133. 133.

    freelancer

    @Kevin K.:

    Kudos. It’s a bedazzled work of art.

    As an aside, in the split second after I saw it, I was crest-fallen with the fact that I kind of resemble Rich Lowry.

    On the plus side, I feel better that I have much healthier and more acceptable jack material. Sorry for the TMI.

  135. 135.

    asiangrrlMN

    @JK: Oh, I will most likely announce it from the fucking rooftops if I get my fiction published. Rest assured. You will know.

    Right now, I am blogging part deux of my literary faves. My server went down for a bit before working again. Fortunately, it autosaves, so I didn’t lose too much.

  138. 138.

    sarcastodon

    Love the dictionary.

    Would love to see something, either a separate entry or an addition to the Doughy Pantload entry about contrary facts that only proving his point.

    Though that might be more appropriate on a Sadly, No dictionary.

  139. 139.

    Roger Moore

    this is how realignments happen– suggests that a particular policy or idea will drastically alter the political landscape. Usually used ironically to suggest that the originator of the idea is foolish and/or overly optimistic.

  140. 140.

    JK

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I will most likely announce it from the fucking rooftops if I get my fiction published

    That’s the spirit. Nice to see a clip of Lou Reed. Given that you felt meh about the Velvet Underground songs I posted, I wasn’t expecting to find Lou Reed on your site.

    Do you like to read science fiction? If you do, the radio show Hour of the Wolf features readings by and interviews with fantasy and science fiction writers

    http://www.hourwolf.com/toc.html

  141. 141.

    freelancer

    @JK:

    I just started Kim Stanley Robinson’s Red Mars. I’m 30 pages in and already, I can tell its going to be good, and I can’t wait to plow through this and the following books.

  142. 142.

    bago

    Oh, and to be completely pedantic, the Balloon-Juice Dictionary should be more appropriately termed the Balloon-Juice Glossary.

    The notes gives are glosses to help fill in context when doing semantic parsing, much like glosses were used on texts. A Dictionary would have a pronunciation guide, to help you dictate the term given. The definition given in a dictionary is merely an indexer to help you find the correct pronunciation guide.

    Of course I am the geek who literally has the book on semantics on my desk a foot away from my right elbow.

  145. 145.

    random asshole

    Yay, my original “Internet Traditions” entry made it in a vaguely similar form, and now it looks like it was written by someone who was less drunk than I was when I posted the original comment!

    Here we go, Internet Traditions, Here we go!

  146. 146.

    asiangrrlMN

    @JK: Oh, but I like Lou Reed. See, it’s part of the weirdness that is me. I prefer fantasy to science fiction, but I do read some of the latter. I will peruse the link you gave me. Thanks!

  147. 147.

    Soylent Green

    The dictionary defines PUMA solely in terms of last year’s Hillary deadenders.
     
    But today’s PUMA is populated mainly by assorted racists, man haters, and ratfuckers, motivated almost entirely by Obama hatred, with Hillary largely excluded from mention.
     
    Shouldn’t this evolution be appended?

  151. 151.

    JK

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I like Lou Reed. See, it’s part of the weirdness that is me

    In this respect, you’re like Frank Zappa. Zappa didn’t like any music by Yes, but he enjoyed the solo album by their guitarist Steve Howe.

  152. 152.

    matoko_chan

    MacMegan (mcardle post suderman), Ross Douchehat and Sully’s Borg.
    fisked, borked, becked and schiavo’d?

  153. 153.

    wmsheppa

    I hoped with all the joy of a 5 year old on Christmas morning that Tunch was named after Tunch Ilkin… thanks for not disappointing.

  154. 154.

    IndyLib

    Let us not forget to honor Stephen Colbert.

    “Reality has a well known liberal bias.” – Stephen Colbert, White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, 4/29/2006

    Truthiness is what you want the facts to be, as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.- Stephen Colbert
    October 17, 2005 The Colbert Report

  156. 156.

    Steeplejack

    @JK:

    Seth Myers, Lorne Michaels, and anyone else responsible for writing or approving that material should have gotten punched very hard in the face neck multiple times.

    Fix’d.

    Please adhere to Balloon Juice style guidelines.

  157. 157.

    Warren Terra

    Apparently Don Yarborough has passed. All I know of him I learned from the obituary and from Molly Ivins’s books, but those, especially the latter, are enough. Anyone Molly honored will be missed.

  158. 158.

    OriGuy

    Neti pot and Furminator should probably go in the dictionary.

    I wish I could remember where I saw it today (not here), but someone called Glen Beck the Stupidity Czar.

  159. 159.

    IndieTarheel

    Some people say: Preferred phrase of CNN’s Candy Crowley, usually uttered just before spouting the latest wingnut conspiracy theory as though it were a valid viewpoint.

  160. 160.

    Fester Bestertester

    Preznit giv me turkee, usually just turkee

    from the urban dictionary:
    a satirical comment on the sycophancy of the White House Press Corps posted at Atrios’ political blog in November 2003. Generalized to mean, A) favors and access granted by politicians to members of the press who don’t make trouble, or B) appreciation shown by any person to a member of the press for covering an issue from the user’s political point of view.

  161. 161.

    Kevin K.

    @JK:

    @Kevin K.:

    You created that? Job well-done. It was fucking brilliant.
    How long did it take you to create the image?

    Waaaaay too long for a supposed “adult.” ;) Glad you liked it, though.

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