Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

That meeting sounds like a shotgun wedding between a shitshow and a clusterfuck.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson

Peak wingnut was a lie.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

This really is a full service blog.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

In after Baud. Damn.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

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33Comments

  3. 3.

    Cruel Jest

    I love reviews of bad movies when they’re done right. It’s one of the main reasons I read the New Yorker.

  4. 4.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    I figured Pandorum was teh Santorum because every time I walk past the living room there’s a commercial for it. I had no idea it was a space movie. The first time I saw the commercial I assumed it was a new video game.

    Watching Pandorum was like playing a metal album backwards to hear the Satanic messages and getting only some voice saying, “I like balloons” over and over again.

    Brilliant!

  5. 5.

    JK

    John has a thing for bad movie reviews

    I can’t get enough of bad movie or theater reviews. Some of my favorite critics to read for bad reviews are John Simon, J. Hoberman, and Armond White. I also loved the negative reviews written by the late Pauline Kael.

  8. 8.

    Bootlegger

    OT. An “emergency alert” just interrupted the football games for an Amber Alert. A “13-year old caucasian” apparently got a text from someone then disappeared. They give a very thorough description of the car and the “suspect”. This is the first time I’ve seen an Amber Alert over the EAS.

  9. 9.

    Scott de B.

    Kingdom of Heaven wasn’t that bad. I hear the Director’s Cut is much better than the theatrical release, although I haven’t seen it.

  14. 14.

    steve s

    “I love reviews of bad movies when they’re done right. It’s one of the main reasons I read the New Yorker.”

    I used to find Anthony Lane insufferable, but the movie reviews are growing on me. Never beat a good Roz Chast cartoon, though.

  18. 18.

    Charon

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: When it comes to reviews of Revenge of the Fallen I prefer this one from the same site that Tim F. links to above.

    From the review:

    Michael Bay used a squillion dollars and a hundred supercomputers’ worth of CG for a brilliant art movie about the illusory nature of plot.

  19. 19.

    Walker

    Okay, I am out. I

    really

    liked this movie. It was the unabashed B movie that no one makes anymore. Anyone comparing this to an Uwe Boll film is an idiot.

  21. 21.

    Walker

    The claim by the linked review that you should watch Jennifer’s Body before watching Pandorum is on crack. That movie was way, way more boring than Pandorum (and I love demon movies). It was like watching the worst episode of Buffy ever.

  22. 22.

    Steeplejack

    TimF:

    Did you know John has a thing for bad movie reviews?

    Do you mean reviews of really bad movies or really bad reviews of movies?

    I haven’t checked it in a couple of years, but I used to love the Filthy Critic.

  23. 23.

    Steeplejack

    @Steeplejack:

    All righty, then, I guess it’s reviews of really bad movies. I’ll just piss off, then, shall I?

    [Memo to self: really study the thread before commenting.]

  29. 29.

    Sean

    Pandorum was intentionally disorienting, dark ( literally ), nonsensical, internally inconsistent, visually incoherent, unimaginative and pretty much a mashup of every SciFi cliche’ since 1960.

    The film-makers never seem to have gotten past the “Now Picture This” elevator pitch. Everything after the initial scene was derivative.

    -S

  30. 30.

    Wrye

    “What? Why didn’t they make a movie about all this cool stuff instead of this dumb movie where they run around a lot and get covered in santorum?”

    this would serve as a complete review of 90% of Sci Fi movies in the last 10 or 15 years…

  32. 32.

    matthew

    Kingdom of Heaven wasn’t all bad. If you watch the Director’s Cut and sort of zone out when Legolas talks its actually pretty great.

    Of course, if I had my way they would have built the whole movie around Jeremy Irons.

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