Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Republicans do not trust women.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Fight them, without becoming them!

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

How stupid are these people?

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

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Reader Interactions

130Comments

  9. 9.

    James K. Polk, Esq.

    PSA: Don’t feed your baby LSD. Although they do look adorable while high, you might cause serious brain development issues.

  12. 12.

    Ash Can

    LOL! What a great face! He’s Mr. Personality, isn’t he?

    Kids are a lot of work, but they’re totally worth it.

  15. 15.

    flukebucket

    Man it is hard to believe that is the same young’un pictured not so very long ago.

    He looks like he just watched Cincinnati beat Pittsburgh!

  17. 17.

    Cruel Jest

    An 11 on the Adorable Scale. The last time I was that happy about anything was 1967. Yeah, I’m jealous.

  19. 19.

    MikeJ

    AS cute as the child is, the first question when children are introduced to a political context is, “what kind of counter tops does he have?”

  20. 20.

    R-Jud

    So I showed the Bean this picture. She lunged towards it with an open mouth, slobbered on the screen, and then did the happy baby flap. I am pretty sure we have a winner.

    (Seriously, Krista, he’s so cute. What’s he smiling at?)

  24. 24.

    Morbo

    That is an awesome smile, congrats.

    I definitely did not get enough sleep last night as I read those similes as “eating a horse and growing weed.” Very industrious.

  31. 31.

    martha

    OK, I think I can survive for the next 3 hours on that injection of pure, unadulterated cuteness and joy.

    And I can smell that incredible smell of “young baby” too…wowee. Sweet, smelly, earthy. Heaven.

  33. 33.

    fester

    Ahhh — almost as cute as my 9 month old (officially cutest baby EVAH!)

    He looks very happy, and it is so much more fun to parent when they can respond to you

  38. 38.

    Dave Weeden

    Happy, healthy, and cute – what more can you ask for? I thought horses ate hay and babies drank milk, but I’m willing to told I’m wrong here….

  39. 39.

    JHF

    Thank God babies are almost always cute! I mean, if they were ugly, some of us wouldn’t be here, right?

    Personally, I’ve had a rather astounding epiphany this weekend that allows me to stop worrying about politics, the environment, and the human race in general. Not for everyone, obviously, only if you’re a goddamn mystic, which I finally accept that I am.

  41. 41.

    The Saff

    @Comrade Mary: If memory serves, Sam was born August 14. I remember because I was bored at an August 13 Jimmy Buffett concert and was checking Balloon Juice on my iPhone most of the concert. John kept providing Krista updates that evening.

    Wow. A whole lot of cute in a little (yet growing) package. Excellent job, Krista.

  42. 42.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Way cute little bugger. I’m thinking that based on the direction of that enthusiastic look he’s checking the BJ Lexicon to ensure that his mom’s classic

    “I can see Russia from my house”

    post is listed.

  43. 43.

    Skepticat

    I’m not generally a fan of children, but here I’ll make an exception—and I’m going to keep a copy of that photo on my desktop to refer to when I’m glum. That isn’t a bland baby face, he looks as though he has a fully formed personality and much wisdom. A good, progressive, cheerful, upbeat personality. Good on you.

  45. 45.

    J.D. Rhoades

    Thank God babies are almost always cute! I mean, if they were ugly, some of us wouldn’t be here, right?

    Exactly. It’s what keeps normal people from strangling them for waking up and screaming every 45 minutes.

  46. 46.

    trollhattan

    Awwww, cute bebbie, just spotted moose and squvirrel?

    Congrats to mom, cute bebbie and the entire fam.

  49. 49.

    RedKitten

    Yep, he was 6 weeks old on Friday. We just had his 6-week checkup today at the pediatricians, and he’s just a smidge over 12 lbs, so he’s growing well and is very healthy.

    Thanks for all the kind comments. :) And no, he doesn’t grow weed — right now, he’s still more decorative than useful. Maybe when he’s two…

  50. 50.

    wasabi gasp

    First a cat, then a dog, now a kid, man, you’re some swell kinda guy. I just hope the baby doesn’t soften your killer instinct the way Dexter’s crap factory is dulling his. That’s exactly why I don’t have kids.

  51. 51.

    geg6

    Krista, that Sam is the most adorablest child evah. What a face! What a smile! Smoochiesnorglemph on his little belly for me, okay?

  56. 56.

    Betsy

    @John Cole:

    All he does all day is breast feed and sleep. Of course he is smiling.

    Spoken like someone who has spent very little time around babies.
    I tried explaining that to my good friend’s colicky newborn, but she was skeptical.
    Me: “Don’t cry! You don’t know how good you have it! Don’t think it’s gonna get better than this!”
    Her: “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH”

  57. 57.

    licensed to kill time

    OT, but BJ just went down for the last half hour for me – wha happen? (and Krista, your baby Sam is just tooooooo dang cute for words! Enjoy these new baby months, they go all too quickly, despite the lack of sleep and all.)

  58. 58.

    Demo Woman

    What a doll. I do love RJud’s comment, Bean has good taste. At twelve pounds, he should start sleeping a few more hours during the night. Wahoo!
    What a nice surprise for a stressful Monday. Thanks Krista for sharing the picture with us.

  61. 61.

    Martin

    Spoken like someone who has spent very little time around babies.

    Eh. Cole is just jealous he doesn’t get as much sleep and breast feeding himself.

  65. 65.

    spudgun

    @Skepticat: I don’t tend to think of myself as a fan either, but then I see a face like this and get a major attack of the “squees”.

    What a cutie-patootie!!

  66. 66.

    licensed to kill time

    @steve s:

    Gawd, what a funny site! I was killing time chatting with a doctor in Mexico while we people watched on the street. He idly asked, “Why do Americans dress like children?”

    I had no answer beyond “comfort”.

  68. 68.

    SGEW

    Blaargh! Too ridiculously cute. There oughta be a law.

    It makes me feel good about the continuation of our species; surely we deserve to survive if our spawn are that god damned adorable.

  69. 69.

    JK

    Adorable baby

    John,

    For long stretches of time over the weekend and for a few hours today Balloon Juice failed to load on my computer. Is migration to a faster, more reliable server on the horizon?

  70. 70.

    Anne Laurie

    Gingers for the win! He’s adorable, RedKitten. But here in this political blog, his expression does remind me of the old Central European joke about predicting a baby’s future profession… did Sam lunge for the coin, the book, or the bottle?

  71. 71.

    Anne Laurie

    @JK:

    For long stretches of time over the weekend and for a few hours today Balloon Juice failed to load on my computer. Is migration to a faster, more reliable server on the horizon?

    I second that question! Just in case anybody thinks some people get special privileges, WP still won’t let me edit the Lexicon. Which is killing me, if only because I can’t sneak in & correct the typos…

  73. 73.

    Svensker

    Wouldn’t we all love to be THAT unjaded and so full of pure joyous enthusiasm?

    Precious, precious, precious.

    Sqqqquuuuueeeeeeeee, also.

  78. 78.

    R-Jud

    @licensed to kill time:

    “Why do Americans dress like children?”

    I have almost never been so uncomfortable as when we were about to take my parents to a restaurant, and I had to ask my Dad to change out of his shorts and sneakers.

    I almost felt like Lord Whimsy: “Have we in effect become a nation of infantalized man-toddlers?”, but I lack the sideburns and the bog garden.

  80. 80.

    J.D. Rhoades

    I have almost never been so uncomfortable as when we were about to take my parents to a restaurant, and I had to ask my Dad to change out of his shorts and sneakers.

    If it was hot, I’m with your Dad on this one.

    I was killing time chatting with a doctor in Mexico while we people watched on the street. He idly asked, “Why do Americans dress like children?”I had no answer beyond “comfort”.

    All the answer you need, bro.

  81. 81.

    freelancer

    Also, Dave Weigel has some bombshells, via ThinkProgress and Sully:

    Off the stage, the fears and conspiracy theories about President Obama grew more obscure. One activist told TWI that Obama may have been “installed” after decades of lessons from Communists. Peggy Carter, an Eagle Forum leader from North Carolina, fretted that Obama was “anti-white,” and had only stealthily revealed that to Americans because “he can’t afford” to make it obvious.

    “If you look at the classic model for moving to Marxism,” said retired Lt. Gen. William Boykin, who would give the conference’s opening speech, “you look at what every Marxist organization has done, they nationalize. They redistribute wealth. They restrict gun ownership. They then go out and suppress the opposition. And then, finally, they censor the media.” In his speech, Boykin–who has gotten into hot water for speaking out against Islam while in uniform–begged the audience to pray for their country. “It’s only because of intercessory prayer that we haven’t been hit again since September 11,” said Boykin. “Pray for America for 10 minutes a day. If we can mobilize millions of prayer warriors that can pray for 10 minutes a day, we can open the gates of heaven.”

    Wow.

  85. 85.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @freelancer:

    “Pray for America for 10 minutes a day. If we can mobilize millions of prayer warriors that can pray for 10 minutes a day, we can open the gates of heaven.”

    I gotchyer prayer right here:

    “Dear Lord, please rapture these idiots up into heaven right now, before they get any more innocent people killed. I don’t care if they don’t deserve a ride on the big sparkly escalator to the fluffy cotton-candy cloudland Macy’s dept store shopping spree and Dollyworld fantasy in the sky. Just get them out of our hair, and take them to a better place where they can be truly happy, so the rest of us left-behind folks can get on with all the tasks we have cleaning up the messes they made in this vale of tears, without them constantly getting in the way and making things worse. Amen.”

  87. 87.

    Shell

    That isn’t a bland baby face, he looks as though he has a fully formed personality and much wisdom.

    Ah, an old soul. An old, happy soul!

  88. 88.

    Max

    @freelancer: Per teh Twitter, Dave is going to be on Ed, starting in like 10 minutes.

    P.S. Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue: An American Life will be out 11.17.09. Sweet jesus.

  89. 89.

    Midnight Marauder

    So I just came across this little golden nugget while browsing around HuffPo just a few minutes ago.

    It’s the annoucment of the release date and title of Palin’s “memoir.” I think the commentariat here will very much so enjoy the title she selected:

    The book will be called “Going Rogue: An American Life.”

    Yet another milestone for the ever-evolving entity known as the Republican Party, the farce that cannot be parodied.

  91. 91.

    freelancer

    @Midnight Marauder:

    Unless she went full farce and decided to write about Anna Paquin, I’m not interested.

    It’s gonna be a ghost-written handjob to the Liberty and Tyrrany crowd.

    If she did write it herself, I’d stand in line. for a midnight release.

    Wow did that sound wrong.

  92. 92.

    gnomedad

    @Max:

    P.S. Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue: An American Life will be out 11.17.09. Sweet jesus

    I’m sure she can’t wait to read it.

  93. 93.

    Jay C

    @freelancer:

    Gen. Boykin: wasn’t he the dude who opined that we would be successful in Iraq because “Our God” was “bigger than their God” or whatever…..?

    Whatta maroon.

  94. 94.

    Midnight Marauder

    @freelancer:

    It’s gonna be a ghost-written handjob to the Liberty and Tyrrany crowd.

    Absolutely correct on that one. But nonetheless, I’ve come to learn that if Palin is involved in anything in any way, shape, or form, then the chance of batshit insane things happening increases exponentially.

    Even if it’s her dictating her “life story” to a ghostwriter.

    She is like the King Midas of batshit crazy.

  95. 95.

    Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)

    @RedKitten:

    But, but…aren’t you Canadian???

    From reading NRO and the rest of the right wing blogosphere, I thought it’d take 3 years to get an appointment for his six month checkup…

    Snark aside, congrats and may mother, father, and son have many happy moments together.

  96. 96.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    He’s eating a horse and smoking weed? Dayum, he’ll be playing hockey in no time! ;)

    What a handsome little guy you got there Krista!

  98. 98.

    Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)

    Forgot to add:

    It looks as if he’s already learning to say ‘Eh?’. :)

  99. 99.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Somebody else said exactly what I was going to observe — he has so much wisdom and seems to be an Old Soul.

    Plus, of course, he is SQUEEEEEEEE cute! Truly beautiful and adorable, your little Samuel Kitten. Please keep supplying us with pictures as long as you’re okay doing that. I for one would love to watch him grow (but would nevah EVAH want to jeopardise his privacy).

    Thank you, RedKitten/Krista. What a wonderful treat at the end of a long hard work day.

  101. 101.

    Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)

    This thread is proof of the old saying that it only takes a baby/puppy/kitten to reduce rational adults to a squealing immature mass. :)

    Though if I have to lose my maturity, there are worse things to ‘squee’ over. :)

    All kidding aside, God bless you and your family.

  103. 103.

    Xenos

    Kate, my 2 1/2 year-old, confirms that Sam is a cute baby. But then she thinks all babies are cute, so perhaps she is not the best judge. But she squealed and ran off to play with her collection of baby dolls, and that makes for high praise.

  105. 105.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Well, the DSL Gods have just let me back on the tubes to see this beautiful bouncing baby boy. Happy as a clam he looks to be. Great work Krista!!!

  108. 108.

    Warren Terra

    I’m late to the thread, and I didn’t read much of it, but I just wanted to add my judgement to the consensus: that picture is absolutely adorable.

    It would appear, ma’am, that you make great baby.

  110. 110.

    Free At Last

    @RedKitten:
    What a beautiful smile! And my congratulations to the photographer – it’s not easy capturing one of those early smiles before it fades into a lopsided goofy look.

  111. 111.

    RedKitten

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I for one would love to watch him grow (but would nevah EVAH want to jeopardise his privacy).

    Hell, the way kids are now, I’ll be lucky if he’s not posting pictures of his dick online when he’s 13.

    Srsly though, I’ll keep up the pics for now, while he’s still eliciting “squees” from you guys. When the squee-ing tapers off, we’ll know it’s time to pack it in (mind you, by that point, we’ll hopefully have another, who will hopefully be just as cute.)

  114. 114.

    Dr. Squid

    I’ll see Redkitten’s little ‘un and raise you my next daughter who should be out by this time tomorrow. Film at, well, some time tomorrow.

  115. 115.

    Dr. Squid

    I’ll see Redkitten’s little ‘un and raise you my next daughter who should be out by this time tomorrow. Film at, well, some time tomorrow.

  124. 124.

    Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)

    @Delia:
    my
    Impossible!

    Dog cuteness and human cuteness operate on different levels.
    While Little Bitsy and Lily are cute, they aren’t cuter than my my Haley.

    That said, little RedKitten is going to need a big stick when he gets older.
    He’ll need it to knock some sense into all the adoring females trying to club him for their own. :)

  125. 125.

    bernini

    …this is an opportunity for “balloon juicer” to be added to the BJ Lexicon.

    Congrats to the parents, super cute kiddo.

  126. 126.

    pika

    Now that is a cute bebe. Apparently, this is his expression after seeing garden-variety-sized cats, and then seeing Tunch.

  128. 128.

    Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan

    “Spoken like someone who has spent very little time around babies.
    I tried explaining that to my good friend’s colicky newborn, but she was skeptical.”

    Colic is miserable. I still have a repetitive strain injury from trying to rock my then apparently demon-possessed spawn to sleep when they were colicky.

    It went away after we got him on solids. Then sleep returned. Precious, joyful sleep.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. […] To be fair, it takes more than a couple of months to learn how to read. But that’s seriously good disingenuous snark. “I’ve come to learn that if Palin is involved in anything in any way, shape, or form, then the chance of batshit insane things happening increases exponentially. Even if it’s her dictating her “life story” to a ghostwriter. She is like the King Midas of batshit crazy.”—Balloon Juice […]