Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

No Justins, No Peace

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Let’s finish the job.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

You are here: Home / Music / You can funk me if you want to

You can funk me if you want to

by | 110 Comments

This post is in: 

The battle is joined.

I know Marvin’s lip-synching but there’s live percussion and if you can find a badder suit than that one…..

You never hear Part 2 on the radio, but it was the inspiration for the last great Jackson 5 song.

JT gets major credit for covering this, even if it’s not a great effort (EDIT: you know, it’s not bad).

Reader Interactions

110Comments

  4. 4.

    gocart mozart

    Best legal brief ever.

    http://reporter.blogs.com/files/2009-09-28-eiland-hall-response-brief.pdf

    We are not here because the domain name could cause confusion. We do not have a declaration from the president of the international association of imbeciles that his members are blankly staring at the Respondent’s website wondering “where did all the race baiting content
    go?” We are here because Mr. Beck wants Respondent’s website shut down. He wants it shut down because Respondent’s website makes a poignant and accurate satirical critique of Mr. Beck by parodying Beck’s very rhetorical style. Beck’s skin is too thin to take the criticism, so he wants the site down. Beck is represented by a learned and respected legal team. Accordingly, it is beyond doubt that his counsel advised him that under the First Amendment to the United States’ Constitution, no
    action in a U.S. Court would be successful. See, e.g., Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell, 485 U.S. 46 (1988). Accordingly, Beck is attempting to use this transnational body to circumvent and subvert the Respondent’s
    constitutional rights.

  5. 5.

    MysticalChick

    JT always looks like a 12 year old playing dress up to me. Is it because I’m old?

    MG looked like a *man* (disco suit and all) but JT – that’s a boy in man’s clothing.

  6. 6.

    DougJ

    MG looked like a man (disco suit and all) but JT – that’s a boy in man’s clothing.

    No one can follow Marvin, though.

  10. 10.

    DougJ

    A little baby making funk Isley Brothers

    Great song. For a long time, I thought that was a Marvin Gaye song.

  14. 14.

    Leo

    @gocart mozart: Also excellent is the letter they filed urging Beck to consent to U.S. law:

    I presume that Mr. Beck will agree to this
    stipulation. It would be an interesting day indeed if Mr. Beck preferred to risk that a panelist would apply French law to a case between two Americans

  17. 17.

    jl

    @gocart mozart: What an evening here at Balloon-Juice? World class funk and world-intertubes-class smackdown legal briefs. I want more legal briefs written like that. It makes sense, Chuck-D could spit it, you can dance to it, and it makes sense to normal people. That brief should be an essential part of every lawyer’s education, especially for those aiming to plead before the Supreme Court, where such language will produce excellent dissents that may save our necks twenty years from now. Thanks for that.

  18. 18.

    Andy K

    Alright, I linked this in an open thread a couple days ago and got no reaction, but it’s worth another try. This vid has gone viral.

    Colorpulse featuring Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking

    A Glorious Dawn

  19. 19.

    DougJ

    Heatwave—Grooveline

    Great too. My one gripe is that it sounds so much like “Boogie Nights”.

  20. 20.

    TX Expat

    Papa’s Gotta Brand New Bag:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtqDB2spyG0

    When I lived in Seattle, there was a guy who used to walk around Belltown (neighborhood where I worked/lived) back in the early/mid-90’s who was the spitting image of James Brown – outfits, hair and all. I loved that guy and wonder where he is these days…

    I lift a glass in his honor for being just *so damn cool*.

  22. 22.

    wobblybits

    @DougJ: Everything sounded like Boogie Nights on that album. Than again, Grooveline was the better song than Boogie Nights (totally my opinion)

  24. 24.

    DougJ

    Jack and Jill

    You know, he was one smooth motherfucker, but I can’t too into any Ray Parker Jr’s oeuvre.

  30. 30.

    TX Expat

    @gocart mozart:

    That brief inspired me. I’m working on one now, where I’ve decided to pull out all the stops and just say it how it is (the case is about unconstitutional juvenile incarceration facilities in LA).

    I started out with “it’s as if we’re talking about a country run by mirror sun-glassed leaders enforcing their will through amoral criminals and thrill-seeking thugs. In short, the garden variety banana republic.”

    And also, a little Sly and the Family Stone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBIA7hZE0l0

  31. 31.

    Alan

    @John Cole:
    If you mean there’s a parallel to his boy group career and the family bands of the 70s (Jackson 5, Osmond Bros., etc), maybe. I admit, I like some of MJ now just as I like some of ABBA today. :)

  32. 32.

    gocart mozart

    Quite simply, Beck’s shtick is simply a cheap imitation of Gilbert Gottfried,
    sans the humor

    The Panel cannot evaluate this case unless it understands the underlying internet meme. The website is the name of an internet meme that came into existence just prior to the Respondent’s registration of the domain.
    “The term Internet meme is a phrase used to describe a catchphrase or concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet, much like an esoteric inside joke.”2 See Internet For Beginners (Annex B)
    From “Mr. Spock Ate My Balls,” (defunct) to ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US 3 to “Leeroy Jenkins”4 to a slew of sub-memes based on the movie “300”5, internet memes are as old as the internet itself, and almost as ubiquitous as actual cybersquatters.

    Similarly, nobody really thinks that “Every time you masturbate… God kills a kitten,” which was an internet meme that originated on the same website that spawned the Glenn Beck meme, Fark.com. See Wikipedia
    “Every time you masturbate … God kills a kitten” (Annex D). Memes are not supposed to be statements of fact, and audiences understand this.

    The lawyer had a lot of fun writing this.

  33. 33.

    Janet Strange

    @TX Expat: In the late 60’s I took a film course from this guy and early in the semester he showed a short film – what we’d now recognize as a stop action animation that just was intense. Jumped all over the place in 2 and 3 second bursts. At the time we hadn’t ever seen anything like it (wouldn’t be at all remarkable now), and the sound track was “Poppa’s Got a Brand New Bag.” We made Kit show it at every class and I still love that song.

    Yep, damn cool.

  35. 35.

    South of I-10

    As I was searching for my next submission, Little South came in and told me I was making too much noise and I was keeping her up. I guess it is not her fault Mama can still bring the funk, right? I turned 39 this week and was not particularly happy about it, and for some reason, this made me feel better. Mock away.

  39. 39.

    Martin

    The lawyer had a lot of fun writing this.

    Who’s going to call in the masturbate/kitten killing expert witness?

  40. 40.

    Waynet

    I wonder what the right wing blogs post for fun?

    No Marvin Gaye, that’s for sure. He was definetly a pinko commie hollywood liberal. Sad….all that great music they can’t enjoy.

  41. 41.

    jl

    @TX Expat: Good luck on your brief. I hope the one you are working on is not for the Supreme Court. They might kick you out and ban you for violating the Dignity and Majesty of the State, and its Right to Totally Rule and Dominate (Unless it Inconvenciences Rich White Fellers) which seems to be a very important originalist doctrine they have discovered lately.

    Anyway, good luck and be careful.

  42. 42.

    gocart mozart

    @Martin: Who’s going to call in the masturbate/kitten killing expert witness?

    I’m sure Glenn Beck will create a flow chart for you on his next show. I think the subject is right in his weelhouse.

  49. 49.

    TX Expat

    @TX Expat:

    Of course, Hank Jr. either doesn’t know or chooses to ignore the fact that Sam Houston chose to be run out of office rather than vote to secede from the Union, maybe Rick “the hair with no flair” Perry would be well advised to take notice of that little piece of history as well. Or not, as it is a well known fact that whackjobs have little use for common knowledge.

  54. 54.

    TX Expat

    @TX Expat:

    Hey y’all, that Hank Jr. was just to illustrate a point. It’s a really horrifying video so my apologies. The images are very disturbing, beware.

    I just heard that song on the radio recently and was mortified that they would even play it down here in LA right now during a time when it is considered impolite to say that a poll calling for Obama’s assassination is out of line.

  57. 57.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Woot my mum is here, we have drunk a bottle of wine, are now collapsed on the couches falling asleep. Good times. Britty + 11 eventy.

  61. 61.

    AhabTRuler

    How am I supposed to be all morose if you are making me laugh?

    I have never regretted aging as I have always seen it as coming ever closer to fulfilling my lifelong dream of being a curmudgeon. I look forward to being a crotchety old pain-in-the-ass!

  63. 63.

    gizmo

    I just want to know one thing– In the wake of their fabulous victory tonite, why hasn’t this blog put up a Minnesota Twins thread?

  65. 65.

    jl

    Fela? Whatsat?

    In honor of the Hank Jr. Ode posted earlier, I present a song that is taking on a special meanng for me, a middle age Irish-German ex-farm kid, as I get ready for the long haul in the struggle against BS. I really like this song now, for some reason. Though I have to remember it is still a hope, not a reality.

    The Great James Brown!
    Payback!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE2Ft_v9ARw

  66. 66.

    South of I-10

    @AhabTRuler: Since Mr. South is planning on dying young, I’ve decided to be the strange but likable cat lady down the street. The one who won’t bitch when the youngsters throw parties. But I will make them get my 40 lb. bag of cat food out of the trunk. Everywhere I have lived, I have had elderly neighbors that I did errands for – payback, right?

  73. 73.

    Midnight Marauder

    @gocart mozart:

    Block quote fail. Seriously, my sincere apologies to anyone who takes offense. I was simply posting fast.

    Just wanted to pop in and say that this is not going to get old any time soon. I love it so, so very much.

  78. 78.

    jl

    @Bhall35: I’m trying to remember who that famous black country star is (was?). Can’t think of his name right now. Anyone know? I prefer Spaced Cowboy, but the guy I am thinking of who mostly did straight country was pretty good.

  79. 79.

    gocart mozart

    @Midnight Marauder:

    Just wanted to pop in and say that this is not going to get old any time soon. I love it so, so very much.

    How will I ever get into the prestigious Balloon Juice lexicon if I am the only one who ever uses this Pantloadian phrase.
    Every time a post or comment doesn’t work out perfect, use it. C’Mon people, pick up the slack.

  83. 83.

    gocart mozart

    “Pantlodian Phrase” should be in the lexicon. Also.
    Also putting also at the end of a sentence. Also.

  89. 89.

    Shell Goddamnit

    And Mr Guillotines from Poland: Hmph.

    That is based solely on title & will be retracted if deemed necessary.

  91. 91.

    gocart mozart

    Also, the fact that I would rather be rich than proud may have colored my judgment. Also.

    Also, my sincere apologies to anyone who takes offense. I was simply posting fast. Also.

  94. 94.

    Malron

    OOps.

    Somehow my pc rest on my comment. But I was gonna say that before corporate conglomerates took over the airwaves black radio used to play songs like Got to Give It Up, (Not Just) Knee Deep, One Nation Under A Groove and so on in their entirety. Sweet stuff.

    By the way: when you mentioned the Jackson 5’s last great song I’m assuming you meant “Shake Your Body Down To the Ground?”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkgcZYfREKE

  95. 95.

    Brachiator

    @jl:

    Miles Davis Calypso Frelimo

    Wow. I had no idea that this was on YouTube. Good stuff.

    The version on the album, “Get Up With It” is faster and tighter.

    Here’s a short clip of Miles’ 1970 exploration into the land of electric and funk, “Miles Runs the Voodoo Down,”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIBvMvqfSWw

    Miles’ forays into the electric were inspired in part by what he heard listening to people like James Brown and Jimi Hendrix …

    Jimi, “Bold as Love,”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGqPzrNypzw&feature=related

  96. 96.

    jl

    @Brachiator: thanks, I will check those links out. The clip I posted had the best sound, but as I was writing my comment, I noticed it just cut out at the end. Too bad. I need to find the CD I have, which is someplace…

  98. 98.

    DougJ

    By the way: when you mentioned the Jackson 5’s last great song I’m assuming you meant “Shake Your Body Down To the Ground?”

    Yes!

  108. 108.

    Brachiator

    @Surreal American:

    Barry White – It’s Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me:

    Ah, but one of the inspirations for the Barry White Love Man Groove, Isaac Hayes, and Walk On By.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XIIivxCtzM&feature=related

    But for sheer sweetness, you have to reach back to the past, and something like,

    Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions

    I’m So Proud

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow00BrG6K9I

    And for Curtis Mayfield, hard and funky, Superfly

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrHezTLex2s

  110. 110.

    BethanyAnne

    @gocart mozart: ok, I’m beyond late to this party, but I’m at page 8 of the brief. Epic win. I especially love

    …Beck must have recognized that the respondent has merely presented Mr. Beck with a mirror. If Beck does not like what he sees, the Respondent is not to blame.

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