Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

This really is a full service blog.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

The willow is too close to the house.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

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Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    Steeplejack

    I think Lily needs to work on mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Based on the recent video, Tunch has the white paw of power to pound on Cole’s chest to get his heart going again.

  2. 2.

    Steeplejack

    @Steeplejack:

    First again! My third one in 24 hours. This must mean something. Now if only I could use this power for good, or at least to make a lot of money.

  5. 5.

    JasonF

    Since Big Ben is on my opponent’s Fantasy Football roster this week, I am sure the Steelers will do great, as nothing ever breaks my way in Fantasy Football.

  6. 6.

    Andy K

    They’re playing the Lions, Tim. Matthew Stafford and/or Daunte Culpepper under center. Have no worries.

  7. 7.

    gnomedad

    @Tim F.:

    Remember all those heartwarming stories about injured owners saved by their courageous cat? Funny, I don’t either.

    John needs to explain clearly to Tunch: “If anything happens to me, good luck getting tuna.”

  8. 8.

    Andy K

    Oh, man, is Dick Enberg looking his age. Better appreciate the guy while he’s still around. Like Myron Cope and Max McGee, you never know when he’s going to be gone.

  9. 9.

    demkat620

    I know this is a football open thread, (Go Iggles) but fuck the MLB and the networks.

    You know what the start time is for tonight’s Phils-Rocks game? 10 pm eastern. For the defending World Champs.

    For the team that had 42 sellouts in a row this year.

    Thanks for thinking of all us hard working Phils Fans who have to go to work in the morning.

    Fuck you MLB.

  10. 10.

    robertdsc

    Roelithsberger is looking positively Tunchian on the cover of the latest Sporting News alongside Sidney Crosby.

  12. 12.

    Steeplejack

    @Tim F.:

    Yeah, I also don’t remember that heartwarming TV series where Mittens comes and tells someone that Timmy is trapped in a well.

  13. 13.

    Bill H

    The Chargers have the week off, but LSU provided me with my barf performance of the week. Their defensive front four performed like a defensive front two, and their offense was the eleven statues of jello.

  14. 14.

    Steeplejack

    @robertdsc:

    The last couple of games, when Roethlisberger is on the sidelines wearing the backwards baseball cap, I have not been able to escape the weird vibe that he looks exactly like what you would get if you put Will Ferrell on steroids. Just sayin’.

  17. 17.

    raptusregaliter

    @Tim F.:

    And don’t forget the cat in “Silence of the Lambs” who just sat there in the window and watched while his owner was lured into the back of a van and carried away.

    Bill Kristol would have at least taken to his keyboard and written a strongly-worded column about how escalating violence in the streets means we should now bomb Iran.

  18. 18.

    Ben Richards

    Comcast is evil. They enabled the NFL Red Zone channel on my basic cable package for about 2 hours last week, then they killed it. Bastards.

  19. 19.

    parksideq

    @demkat620: That is a crappy time to schedule a game. I wonder if conflicts with football had to do with the time slot.

    Angels fans have it almost as bad, seeing that they had to be up by 9am to catch their game this morning. Though as a Yankees fan, I stopped giving a shit about their feelings months ago (Anaheim, sadly, is where the Yanks’ offense goes to die).

  20. 20.

    JenJen

    I feel fantastic! Didn’t watch one minute of Sunday Punditry on teevee, and it really does improve one’s outlook for the rest of the day. I should’ve done this a long, long time ago.

    Finally got an HDTV, and I’m sitting here with my jaw open, watching football in all of its vivid glory. I knew it was going to be better, but not this much better. Holy cow. Loving it. C’mon Bengals!

    Also, have a pot of my favorite chili in the slow cooker, and friends are coming to share and watch more football, later.

    A wonderful October day, basically. Cheers, everyone!

  21. 21.

    Martin

    John needs to explain clearly to Tunch: “If anything happens to me, good luck getting tuna.”

    As it is written:

    26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
    27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

    Is Tunch one with Ceiling Cat?

  22. 22.

    Brachiator

    Pittsburgh will probably go on playing down to its competition, just like they did last year.

    Even so, they should be able to easily handle Detroit.

    Giants v Raiders is being here in Southern California. Does the NFL have some version of the mercy rule?

  24. 24.

    JoePo

    I’ve been a Chiefs fan for as long as I can remember, and used to curse the programming directors every Sunday when the Chiefs weren’t on local TV, but now that I’m in Wyoming, they’re on almost every weekend, and even I feel like I’m being punished.

    So, to anyone else stuck with them on a regular basis, I’m sorry.

  26. 26.

    Martin

    You know what the start time is for tonight’s Phils-Rocks game? 10 pm eastern.

    That’s a bit perplexing. It’ll be pretty damn cold in Denver at 8PM, even after they’ve got the snow cleared off the field.

    My guess is they’re pushing past most of the NFL games.

  27. 27.

    JoePo

    And then they go up 10-0 on the Cowboys.

    Also, I think I just heard Dan Dierdorf say it would be a big morale boost for the Raiders to stop the Giants on 3rd and 24. Yeah.

  28. 28.

    Steeplejack

    @JenJen:

    Yeah, sports is where you really see the difference in HDTV. For me the epiphanal moment was watching some NBA game–which I don’t even like that much–and being able to see the whole half-court at once. And it’s awesome for football.

    (I’m conflating “HD” with “wide screen” a bit, but what the hey.)

    Oddly, HD doesn’t help baseball that much, because there’s not a lot to see. I mean, not a lot simultaneously going on. The action is almost always concentrated in one place.

  29. 29.

    Ben Richards

    @JoePo: Go Chiefs! Can’t stand the Cowboys.

    Can you imagine what it must be like to be a Raiders fan? They are down 28-0 and we’re not even halfway through the 2nd quarter…

  30. 30.

    smiley

    Giants v Raiders is being here in Southern California. Does the NFL have some version of the mercy rule?

    Here too. Good Gawd. The Giants are mopping the stadium floor with the Raiders (28-0, 10 min left in the 2nd). I’m starting to wonder if the Gators might give the Raiders a a good game.

  35. 35.

    Brachiator

    @Ben Richards:

    Can you imagine what it must be like to be a Raiders fan? They are down 28-0 and we’re not even halfway through the 2nd quarter…

    31 to 7 at the half. Are the wife-carrying championships on anywhere?

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091011/ap_on_fe_st/odd_wife_carrying_contest

    A Maine couple has taken the crown in the North American Wife Carrying Championship over a course that featured a muddy water hole and two log obstacles. Dave and Lacey Castro of Lewiston came in first among 41 teams to win Saturday’s competition at Sunday River ski resort in Newry. They covered the 278-yard course in 54.45 seconds….As the North American champs, the Castros are eligible to compete in the world championships in Finland next July.

  36. 36.

    Martin

    31 to 7 at the half. Are the wife-carrying championships on anywhere?

    I was a bit stunned the other day to stumble upon the lingerie football league. I thought that was just a one-off gimmick run a few years ago – I was shocked (still am, actually) that it’s a league. The commentators thought they were calling Monday Night Football, which made the whole thing even a bit more surreal.

  37. 37.

    Demo Woman

    Nice, the local CBS station switched to the the Steelers game.
    The Giants game was a tad dull.

  38. 38.

    JoePo

    Yeah, the NFL really does need an intervention rule like the NBA has, if it looks like an owner is either intentionally torpedoing his team or is just that incompetent.

    Also, I’ve been ragging on Matt Cassel since the Chiefs got him, but I have no idea how he completes any passes with that line. I’d be surprised if he lasts the season.

  39. 39.

    Brachiator

    @Demo Woman:

    Nice, the local CBS station switched to the the Steelers game.

    Yep. This must be the “have mercy on the viewers” rule.

    And its Giants 41, Raiders 7. The Giants are shaking them down and taking the Oakland players’ lunch money.

  42. 42.

    Steeplejack

    Man, thank FSM for DVD and picture-in-picture. I think I overheated the remote furiously working back and forth between the simultaneous endings of the Bengals-Ravens game and the Angels-Red Sox game.

    Both were awesome comebacks. That is all for now. Got to fish the remote out of the bucket of water I put it in to cool off.

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