From the shit you can’t make up file:
Dr. Daniel E. Fass, another chairman of the event who lives surrounded by financiers in Greenwich, Conn., said: “The investment community feels very put-upon. They feel there is no reason why they shouldn’t earn $1 million to $200 million a year, and they don’t want to be held responsible for the global financial meltdown.”
Those poor babies.
ericblair
Pitchfork, pitchfork, where’d I put it….
Incertus
I think I can scrounge up a torch or two….
Karmakin
I got the tar.
Hunter Gathers
Dammit, my lightsaber’s in the shop. Large fucking rocks it is then.
robertdsc
Long range rifles work fine for me.
kid bitzer
“they don’t want to be held responsible for the global financial meltdown”
then maybe they shouldn’t have caused the global financial meltdown?
4tehlulz
>The investment community feels very put-upon.
BAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
PeakVT
Bring back the Eisenhower-era tax rates.
Leelee for Obama
@PeakVT: This is the answer! They’ll feel greatly, unfairly, punished and no one on the angry side gets in trouble!
Winny, win, win!
Jesse Ewiak
Do these people truly not understand that in any other country in the world they’d be dealing with something between massive government intervention and investigation (most EU) and well…getting put up against the wall? (Many, many other countries.)
dmsilev
@kid bitzer: Exactly what I was going say.
For some reason, the phrase “render them down for soup stock” comes to mind.
-dms
leinie
I’ll just quote Taibbi here:
They feel there is no reason they shouldn’t “earn” that money, and I feel there is no reason they can’t be taxed at 90%, and fuck a bunch of exclusions for capital gains and loopholes and shit.
Or the pitchfork and tar idea. That’s probably better.
Napoleon
. . . and of course Obama’s response will be to have Geinther call them up and ask what more they can do for them. I am so glad Barney Frank has already thrown some of the most serious reforms under the bus.
Leelee for Obama
@kid bitzer: Yeah, that would have been the smart move, wouldn’t it? Smartest guys on the planet, supposedly, with a innate sense of risk-aversion? Sure, since they knew they’d get bailed out by jobless schlubs with tanking mortgages.
Much as the Eisenhower tax-rates are the civilized way to go, one longs for a real outbreak of tat, feathers and rails.
Leelee for Obama
@Leelee for Obama: Tar! Proof-reading is my friend!
Shygetz
I’m joining the call for Eisenhower tax structures. I mean, c’mon, aren’t the Republicans always bitching about wanting to return to the 50’s? Well, here’s their chance.
Leelee for Obama
@Shygetz: And the attacks on the Commie bastard Ike will begin in 5…4…3…2…
El Cid
I would very much prefer to not have to work any more, and I would also prefer to be handed several billion dollars untaxable.
These desires alone make me part of the “producer” class, unlike all you “parasites”.
Legalize
Bring back the guillotines. Dull guillotines.
Comrade Jake
So which bowtie-wearing asshat wrote this article for the NYT?
Jack
Used to be Poe’s Law had a fairly narrow field of application (fundamentalism).
Now, not so much.
Poe’s Law:
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe%27s_Law
Perhaps it begs updating, given the competition for inclusion offered by investment bankers, Beckian rant mongers, Laffercurvians, glibertarian economystics and the various McMs (McMegan, Megan McCain, McPalin) fouling up the intellectual commons.
El Cid
@Legalize: What about a guillotine, but instead of a blade, there’s just a humongous, hardened pile of shit which crushes the skull?
Napoleon
@Legalize:
And while we are at it guillotine them by the method that was saved for only Robespierre, face up.
Earl
@dmsilev: Not the stock I had in mind, but that works for me…
JenJen
I’m bullish on guillotines!
PeakVT
@El Cid: Or we could put them in their SUVs and do this.
TR
Do they *want* us to storm their gated communities with the tar and feathers?
Because they seem to be begging for it.
Patton
Dear Dr. Fass:
If you listen closely, you’ll hear the sound of the world’s tiniest violin. It’s playing just for you and your buddies.
Sincerely,
Middle-class college student who would be glad to earn $1,000 per year
Jack
@TR:
As long as there’s a Senate…
Leelee for Obama
@TR: Considering the post mcclaren put up the other day, they are likely thinking the law-and-order keepers will be sent in to protect them. Apparently, they didn’t get the memos about cuts at local, state and Federal levels to such S o c i a l i s t programs due to drops in tax revenue and their bailouts. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when that piece of info arrives to their risk-aversion brain center!
Ash Can
Apart from his blatant corruption, this guy just plain doesn’t know enough to come in out of the rain, does he? What the hell did he manage to get a doctorate in, anyway? TV sitcom watching? Or is that title made up, and just for show?
In all seriousness, I’m sure that there are plenty of people in the financial industry who are decent and law-abiding. And fuckwits like Dr. Fass aren’t doing them any fucking favors whatsoever.
Tom Levenson
You know, that 90% marginal tax rate looks better every day.
Incertus
@Leelee for Obama: Oh no–they’ll be the only ones left with police protection, and they’ll supplement it with private security companies, and not the mall-cop variety either. It’ll be Escape from New York outside the walls.
Comrade Darkness
@dmsilev: Dibs on the fat for tallow candles.
Catherine F.
Where do you even begin? I mean, other than with the pitchforks and torches and other fine suggestions up thread. Somebody please tell me this is just a really shitty joke.
Leelee for Obama
@Incertus: Which is why I think the 90% tax rate is the way to go. The chance for the scenario you mention dissipates when there’s taxation of obscene profits. Worst case, they jump off a roof, though not likely, or, they Go Galt!, and good riddance. I’m sure there are some folks out of work who’d be glad to run the financial sector with integrity. With the obscenity factor removed, things might just get to a point where the economy works for most people.
Napoleon
@Incertus:
. . . or like Brazil, Argentina or Chile.
The Bearded Blogger
Graaargh!
Apart from thoughts of skinning, boiling oil, impalement and that medieval spiky ball thingy, all I can think of is this: moral blindness. Blatant, amazing, moral blindness.
The Bearded Blogger
@Catherine F.: Do you believe in douchebag stories? You better start, ’cause your in one!
The Grand Panjandrum
I am heartily in favor of public hangings. Lets start at Goldman and keep’em dropping through the trap door until they do “get it”.
The Bearded Blogger
@Catherine F.: Dems reclaiming populism? If they don’t, repubs will… think 1930’s and what FDR saved America from…
kid bitzer
i’d like to endorse leelee’s suggestion in #14 that we ride them out of town on a rail, covered in tat and feathers.
i mean, the worst tat we can find. the tattiest stuff around.
like, costumes from old bonny tyler videos. plus the curtains your mom finally took out of the front room and then moved to the den where she thought no one would see them. those were some tatty-looking rags.
tat and feathers! to the barricades! or the bat-cave! or the batticades! or something!
Keith G
A problem inherent in living in a place that bills itself as the worlds greatest democracy as that you live among folks who think they deserve the life they are taking from others.
Leelee for Obama
@kid bitzer: This made my morning!!!!! How did you know about those curtains? Are you a SPY!!!!!????
Batticades, indeed!
The Bearded Blogger
@Keith G: Man, that sounds like a famous quote… it’s swiftish. Well done.
Legalize
I am pretty unlearned in the ways of guillotining mother-fuckers. Whatever method you guys think will be the most painful, humiliating and inefficient sounds pretty good to me.
jrg
As someone who works hard to design and build products for the companies that these tools buy and sell, all I can say is: “F*ck off. I actually produce something. Where’s my million?”
What value do these people add? All they do is churn and burn.
My conscience would be cleaner if I told some kid to set his head on fire that it would be if I encouraged him to become a productive member of society.
Luthe
I’ll go for a 90% tax rate. Though maybe just on bonuses and fringe benefits. That’s where the real money is, after all. Or maybe just capital gains.
I do think an argument could be made for exempting capital gains made over a ten year period. Anything made in a 401k, too. If us peasantry are going to have our fortunes forcibly invested for us, we should get a loophole. One that encourages long-term investment. For that matter, “vested” bonuses might be a good idea, too. Set up a bonus fund that gets paid into for every year of sustained growth, but doesn’t pay out for five or ten years. It’s a way to encourage long-term thinking while still allowing those poor, put-upon CEOs to make the big money that drives their John Galtish mastery of the universe. (that last half was snark).
I also repeat my idea that proceeds from a tax on the rich should go toward a SBA fund that makes loans to small businesses. The loans only have to be paid back if the business succeeds. It’s the sort of idea that puts the GOP between a tax increase and opposing the free market, while having the side bonus of being basically the same deal the big banks got.
EDIT: Oh! I had a question. If corporations are “people” why aren’t they taxed like people? And how comes we haven’t closed the stupid “headquarters” tax loophole? Relly, if you have more that one branch on American soil/employ than 50 Americans, you’re a fucking American company, pay up, motherfuckers.
The Bearded Blogger
Theres no bread, let them eat cake
Theres no end to what theyll take
Flaunt the fruits of noble birth
Wash the salt into the earth
But theyre marching to bastille day la guillotine will claim
Her bloody prize free the dungeons of the innocent the king
Will kneel, and let his kingdom rise
Bloodstained velvet, dirty lace
Naked fear on every face
See them bow their heads to die
As we would bow as they rode by
And were marching to bastille day la guillotine will claim
Her bloody prize sing, o choirs of cacophony the king has
Kneeled, to let his kingdom rise
Lessons taught but never learned
All around us anger burns
Guide the future by the past
Long ago the mould was cast
For they marched up to bastille day la guillotine — claimed
Her bloody prize hear the echoes of the centuries power isnt
All that money buys
ChrisB
From the Metropolitan Diary in yesterday’s New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/19/nyregion/19diary.html?_r=1
...now I try to be amused
“No snowflake feels responsible for the avalanche.”
fuddmain
@The Bearded Blogger: RUSH! Saw them at Red Rocks. Great show.
FormerSwingVoter
Fuck these guys.
I am seriously fucking sick of this shit. They destroy the mortgage market with ninja loans and unpayable balloon mortgages. They destroy the largest investment banks in the country (and countless small companies) with naked short sales. They destroy the middle class with top-heavy tax cuts and continued layoffs so that the board members can make millions more on top of their tens of millions from their stock options. They completely screw up the whole point of the bailouts by using the money to place bigger and bigger bets instead of lending to people and businesses like they were supposed to. The make sure that nothing in any of the above changes or becomes illegal, or even require some nominal fine. And then… And then they have the fucking gall to bitch that people are being mean to them by expecting them to make 180 million instead of 200 million.
Fuck ’em. Burn ’em all. I am sick and fucking tired of these worthless shit-eating parasites getting their way on every fucking thing ever and then having the chutzpah to blame everyone else for complaining while they burn the fucking world. We don’t need to just regulate and tax the shit out of these fuckers – we need to ensure that these assholes go to jail. Forever.
The Bearded Blogger
@fuddmain: Great band, amazing lyrics.
GReynoldsCT00
drawing and quartering! in front of the stock exchange.
Poopyman
In 1929, the bankers at least had the decency to jump out of windows. Now these assholes are going to make us do the defenestration for them. Assholes.
I said when this whole thing started to go down that we’d be seeing bankers strung from lightpoles. If this shit keeps up, that could still come about.
Oh, and as far as risk mitigation, whoever coined “too big to fail” and drove it into common use was a frickin’ genius, ‘cuz that paradigm has saved these mofos’ asses.
So far.
Shygetz
@Legalize: Drown them in high fructose corn syrup.
IndieTarheel
I’m thinking honey, stakes, and those big ass ants you see eating everything in sight on the Discovery channel.Also this:
And simply what this means is
He didnt know that every dog had his day
Until he seen his
Comrade Darkness
@Luthe: I was thinking on EXACTLY these lines the other day. American citizens are taxed no matter where in the world they live. I’d be happier of corporations were not citizens but if they have to be, they should pay taxes like they are. Seems rather straightforward.
Oh, and the class warfare has been going on since Reagan, it’s just been guerilla warfare by the financial class against the working class. The incredulous reactions of the guilty to the accusations against them in this mess demonstrates we are a peak * something *, and we’re going to be coming down the next slope steep and fast. These bastards better hope the slide down is only a change in the tax code.
shortstop
Guillotining is out. Way too humane. A 90 percent tax rate combined with a requirement to fly coach, clean their own bathrooms and stand in line at stores should send these candyasses over the edge nicely.
slippy
@The Bearded Blogger: Fuck yeah, that’s what we need. Some Bastille Day.
Of course, Peart would probably also point out that Bastille Day ended badly for just about everyone . . .
Leelee for Obama
@shortstop: Snort!
This is golden!
Comrade Darkness
@Poopyman:
Phil Gramm. That’s your guy. Signed, sealed and delivered the blank check these guys have been cashing since 1999 with the commodity futures modernization act. And while we’re at it fuck Bill Clinton for signing half the shit he signed. WE needed a mofo liberal at that point to counter twelve years of crap Reaganomics and what did we get? We got a giant slathering puppydog who was only too happy to take approval from anyone, including those trying advancing the front in turning the U.S. into a banana republic.
slippy
@Poopyman: Sorry but actually the 1929-bankers-jumping-out-of-windows is kind of a myth.
So, I suggest this time around we give ’em a push in the right direction.
Comrade Darkness
@FormerSwingVoter: Nicely stated. And since I’m a grunt, I have to get to work. At least there is lots of work this week.
Poopyman
@ Comrade Darkness
Yes! Gramm! He gets put at the front of the line.
Leelee for Obama
@slippy: Yeah, they did wind up with Napoleon, after all. But, Madame DeFarge was a happy woman for awhile, as I recall. I don’t think being blood-thirsty in fact is good or even necessary. Take their fucking money and they will feel like their throats have been cut. That’s their lifeblood, and if they have to give it back, they may go semi-Galt and there will be a little more revenue left to the serfs…all in all, a good outcome.
Chad N Freude
@Patton: Not for Dr. Fass. He’s one of the organizers of the Dem fundraiser. In the article, he is essentially making a complaint.
This also from the article:
But they have this to soothe their feelings, poor dears.
kay
I don’t believe they care about public perception, at all. I think the whining is just more marketing.
“On average, the chief executives at 29 of the largest public financial companies that have taken bailout funds received perks and benefits worth more than $380,000 in 2008, according to compensation figures included in annual proxy statements and supplied by Equilar, a compensation data services firm. Individually, about half the banks increased their fringe benefits to the top executives. The figures do not include relocation costs and related taxes, typically one-time fees that can skew year-over-year comparisons.
In contrast to the 4 percent average increase in perks and benefits at these companies, the average awarded to top executives at non-financial companies in the Fortune 100 declined by more than 7 percent over the same period, according to Equilar. ”
Financial entities took a 4% increase in perks, non-financials took a 7% decrease in perks.
They really, really could have foregone the 200,000 company-paid country club membership this year. They chose not to.
Leelee for Obama
@IndieTarheel: Here in Florida, we have absolutely wonderful fire-ants! Not only painful, but they raise welts, and there’s an option for allergic shock. A truly Inquisitional insect! (and completely natural)
I also don’t believe you’d need to waste any honey or syrup-they are fairly ravenous without it.
Fwiffo
They just have no fucking idea. Obama’s their only friend they’ve got in the world right now; he’s the only thing between them and the various suggestions in this thread.
Chad N Freude
@slippy: Glad to see you this morning. I was afraid makewi might have pushed you out of a window,
Terri
Put them up against the wall, then render them down to bio fuel.
At least then, they’ll be useful.
Ash Can
@Chad N Freude: I’m obviously guilty too. That’s what I get for not reading the link. Mea culpa.
Doesn’t make me any less honked off at the real entitlement whores, though.
Chad N Freude
@Ash Can: Well, it’s understandable. As BJ commenters, we’re under no obligation to actually read our sources.
Leelee for Obama
@Chad N Freude: I read it-Fass wasn’t my focus-anyone who gets it is OK-it’s the assholes who don’t get it, don’t want to and feel entitled to their ill-gotten profits.
Ash Can
@Chad N Freude: LOL. Seriously, though, I’m quick to throw epithets in the direction of assholes too lazy to do their homework, and then, whaddya know, I’m one myself. Shame on me.
Violet
Dammit. My pitchforks are inaccessible – locked up in storage in the POD.
ricky
On 9/12 Americans knew what to do. They came together.
Also, the stock markets were closed.
Leelee for Obama
@ricky: And, lo, there was a sort of Peaceful Kingdom, for about a hour and a half. After awaking the sleeping giant, Bin Laden got exactly what he hoped for-we turned on each other over the Politics and refused to acknowledge that killing innocent people usually leads their survivors to increase the level of nihilism in their philosophy.
...now I try to be amused
@Fwiffo:
I hope Obama is playing them to increase his leverage over them, so the next time he “suggests” they change their ways, they will have no choice but to listen.
A guy can dream, right?
different church-lady
There’s also no reason they should. But, you know…
jcricket
Sweet jesus. These people have zero shame. Less than zero. And frankly, since there are 1 of them for every 99 of us, I say we simply:
1) Enforce the regulations we have and add a few (like clawbacks) to at least attempt to reign in the shenanigans of the worst offenders
2) Ignore their whining and start taxing them a bunch more.
At least then we’d have the money to address the insanely long list of high-priority stuff the rest of us poor shlubs need. I guarantee you there will be no bad consequences.
When do we start understanding this? Never?
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
I say we go for a sort of Hegelian synthesis of the various suggestions above – reinstitute the Eisenhower era tax rates, and impose the death penalty on tax cheating for amounts over $100k. Pay up or die muthafukas.
Evinfuilt
Look i know i planted the bomb in the orphanage, heck I designed it and set it off. that doesn’t mean I’m responsible for all the orphans being there when I set it off.
Sheesh, cut me some slack, without homicidal psychopaths like me you’d be out on the street without orphan nuggets for dinner.
Napoleon
@Leelee for Obama:
I was the best thing that ever happened to them (for the record my name is actually from Animal Farm though).
Nutella
I’ve never understood ‘too big to fail’. I would say the second thing to do if we really want to bail out a company that’s too big is cut it in at least two pieces and bail out the parts we think are worth saving. The first thing to do is make sure the president and chairman of the board of the original company are fired for cause (no parachutes) since obviously they are incompetent at running a company.
I expect this would cut down on the number of companies with their hands out. But this assumes that the federal government and Goldman Sachs aren’t two halves of the one ‘too big’ organization now.
So those pitchforks may be required.
Leelee for Obama
@Nutella: I think, but am not sure, that what you describe is the essence of the re-regulation push. It’s supposed to give the Government the authority to unwind this kind of too big and save what’s salvageable.
The second thing goes without saying. Trust, but verify! May be the only thing Reagan ever said worth remembering.
asiangrrlMN
Where in hell is my tire iron?
It bothers me how much rage I have towards the asshats (not Dr. Fass) who created this situation and are now whining about being sooooo deprived. I am a fucking pacifist, for god’s sake. OK. I am a very angry one, but I am. Still, if I were to meet one of these financial types, I might have to punch him in the neck, a la John Cole.
Calouste
And the mainstream media is going to be shocked, shocked I tell you, when a poor schmuck who lost his job and his house and everything else is going to take it out on these entitled bastards and shoot a few of them up.
Midnight Marauder
@asiangrrlMN:
Well, you can punch them in the neck to your heart’s content. But much like I’m saving one for Howie Kurtz, one day, I will punch all of those sons of bitches in the soul.
(Yes, yes, assuming they have one.)
/obligatory.
Leelee for Obama
@Midnight Marauder:
This is why I refrained from posting this same thing-not at all sure they have any-probably sold to Old Nick ages ago.
jean
Fine. In fact great. Tax ’em, Dano. At least 60%. Make all the bucks you want. Close all the loopholes, tax shelters, etc.
I’m not a fan of salary caps. Taxes now, that is a win-um win? situation.
Anne Laurie
@Napoleon:
So they’ll be able to see it coming… for the first time in their lives!
RememberNovember
Cheese graters and salt water.
Steeplejack
Damn, my pikes are at the hardware store being sharpened.
Ruskus
@different church-lady:
Actually I can think of a few reasons why they shouldn’t make this much money.
1. They didn’t do anything to deserve it.
2. They did much to not deserve it.
3. Assholes
4. Fuckwads
mai naem
Personally I say do it the Chinese way. Execute them and send the family the bill for the bullet. That’s what they did to the guy who was the head of their FDA after the melamine fiasco.
andrea
@asiangrrlMN:
I want to punch them in the junk.
ko
They don’t seem to realize that most of America would do pay-per-view at their execution. My personal view is that no one is worth over $250,00/year. 95% tax rate when you exceed that. A person can have a pretty good lifestyle for $250,00/year. Concerns about college debt? Keep up the GPA and we can afford to put you through school as long as we’re not worried about keeping the rich, rich.
KO