I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find Tunch, who got out somehow, and I just give up. I have driven the neighborhood multiple times, looked everywhere, left food, and I just do not know what to do. I am beyond panic. If he comes home, it is of his own volition and there is nothing I can do.
The fat bastard.
*** Update ***
I sat outside like a deer hunter with multiple food traps. I finally caught him. Next time I am not freaking out and walking the neighborhood- I’m putting down food. Here he is downing the treats:
And yes. I cried. I am such a damned loser.
Christian
:(
Rob
My cat ran away a few weeks ago. I can’t help but miss the sorry bastard but the pain doesn’t hurt as much knowing that he WANTED to run away from me..
Comrade Mary
Oh, God. I’d be beyond freaking in your place, too.
That said, my tabby once sneaked out late at night when we were packing for a camping trip. We stopped everything, spent hours looking for her, couldn’t find her, and went pack to packing. Less than half an hour later, she trotted up to the house, tail held high, chirping hello. I don’t know what the little bitch got up to while we worried ourselves sick, but I think that was the one time I ever saw a cat truly smirk.
When he shows up, he’ll be smirking.
nonymouse
@Rob: it’s often instinct, not you, that causes them to run. my recent rescue ran off several times after i was left in charge. he came back every time (eventually), but he’s a timid soul.
John – good luck with the search. does Tunch have an RFID chip? my rescue came with one, but i don’t know much at all about them.
diakron
Friend of mine had a cat run away recently. She recovered him about a month later. Amazingly, he seems to be all right.
inkadu
I can’t count how many times I’ve looked all over for the cat only to find him curled up in a dark corner of the closet a few hours later.
Jeez, my parents blind geriatric poodle disappeared from our backyard last week. He camped at a neighbors house on the other side of the woods for the night and went to the pound the next day before being chauffeured back here.
Animals like to get out and about. Hope Tunch is back soon.
Martin
Oh no!
Hopefully he’s just out exploring. Surely he wants the futon back.
You want us to whip up a posse?
General Winfield Stuck
Oh man, sorry to hear this. But cats know where their grub comes from and are smart enough to find their way back home. He might just be checking out the lady cats in the hood.
The Dangerman
I had a cat get loose many, many years ago; I did the search thing, the flyers thing, the calling out the volunteers thing…
…it finally decided to come out from it’s hiding place when it was damned good and ready (and felt very safe, I suppose).
Cat’s name was Chava; I and a roommate were watching “Fiddle on the Roof” when it came up to the back door as the tiniest (and I do mean tiniest, it fit in my palm easily) little kitten. She was lucky, we could have been watching Star Wars and it could have ended up being called Princess Leia (or worse, Chewy). She did her disappearing act many years later; she fell out of a window, apparently freaked, and went for cover for a few days. Said more than a few prayers…
…so, anyway, good things can happen.
ominira
My best friend’s cat disappeared for three weeks. She searched the whole neighborhood for him, put up posters, everything, but no cat. Then 3 weeks later he just waltzes back indoors like nothing happened (except he’s a bit skinnier than when he left). Tunch’ll be back when he’s ready.
General Winfield Stuck
I once had an old black tomcat that mostly stayed outdoors. Sometimes he’d split for days or even weeks. When I moved from the cottage I was living at, he was gone at the time. So every day I would stop by the old place, and one day he came flying out of a wood pile when I called out, happy as a clam to see me, and vice versa.
Jason Bylinowski
Yikes, John Cole. Hope he turns up soon. Can’t imagine he’s very much of a roamer, though I certainly could be wrong, I’m no Cat Whisperer or anything.
Being inclined towards nocturnality, I wouldn’t really sweat it that much if he doesn’t show up during the night. All the cats I’ve ever had tend to go galt in the wee hours (my all-time best cat pretty much roamed all night and would only show up for breakfast, usually with a corpse or two in tow), though I’ve never really had an indoor cat before.
Good luck.
Loneoak
Suxxorz.
I will wait to share an immensely funny lost cat story—with a happy ending—for when we get a happy ending to the Tunch saga.
BR
When we moved a few months ago, and had just arrived in our new apartment, we were moving things in and out, and thought our cat had run away in fright.
We spent hours searching for her around our building, only to have our friend find her in a crevice we didn’t even know about under the dishwasher. It took hours and hours until she came out.
PhoenixRising
Fear not. He wanted a break, but he’ll be back when he’s good and
hungryready. I suggest you ground him and no TV for a week.We had a cat walk off the job one afternoon, early in 1989, that came back after my sister’s year abroad. Seriously, she got off the plane, walked out to the far back yard and called the cat…and the #$%$% thing CAME! After we had all spent weeks searching, mourning and figuring out whether and how to break it to her via airmail. I’ve never attached to a cat again, and no one can blame me.
freelancer (itouch)
Cole
chasing independent-minded pets is worrisome and frustrating to no end. I’m sure you’ve tried every trick in the book. Leave your door open with some dry food leading inside. And from an atheist to a fellow agnostic or whatever you happen to be, have faith. Tunch knows where home is and who loves him the most in this world. Have faith.
And hope you don’t get charged with involuntary manslaughter if he disembowels one of your neighbors.
The Dangerman
Oops. I meant ““Fiddler on the Roof”; “Fiddle on the Roof” was another time.
Hang in there.
Alan
Keep the light on at the door. A cat that snuck out doesn’t want to be found until they’re damn ready. All you can do is wait with the light on so you can open the door when he comes home.
whenpigsfly
Put a box near the food, something he can crawl into and feel protected. Use a piece of clothing that has your scent on it for a bed.
Many of us have known the panic that you’re feeling and are holding out good thoughts that he’s home soon.
Short Bus Bully
I had a cat wander away several years ago who I found several years later having been adopted by a groundskeeping crew at a cemetary over 50 miles away. She was happy and well cared for and remembered me not at all.
I wish you luck and remember that cats, even fat bastards, are resilient and resourceful.
MNPundit
He’ll come back and be fine, don’t worry.
Splitting Image
I’ve never owned a cat, but several of my friends have had little guys who would bolt for the door at the slightest provocation.
Hope he’s okay. As others have said, there’s a very good chance he’ll just amble back in as soon as you’ve had a chance to go completely crazy with worrying.
Wonk Hussein
Gosh, John, I’m so sorry. I hope Tunch comes back soon.
I’ve had my share of pets “Go Rogue” in my life – but they’ve all returned eventually. I can’t imagine that Tunch wouldn’t, he seems to have such a great life with you.
Here’s hoping for the best. And I’m such a big dork, that *I* probably won’t sleep well tonight.
Sniff. :(
IndyLib
Hope he wanders back home soon, John.
John Cole
HE IS HOME! I CAN SLEEP!
Church Lady
I am so sorry that Tunch is missing. I know you’re not a particularly religious man, and this may sound pretty silly, but say a prayer to St. Anthony. St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost causes, and my Mom convinced my children and I to always say a prayer to St. Anthony when we lose something. So far, we’re batting 100% on good old St. Anthony coming through and finding whatever is was that we were looking for.
I hope Tunch turns up soon.
General Winfield Stuck
I love happy endings and am glad the Tunchster is safe senor Cole.
nonymouse
he knows where home is, and he doesn’t care that you cried.
Alan
Good news… a happy ending.
Ed Marshall
If he is an inside cat he’s almost certainly within a couple of blocks of you holed up underneath a porch or some other kind of cover. They don’t go far and the instinct is going to be to hide.
An outside cat will come back if nothing is wrong, but an inside cat may stay hid out for a long time and not know how to get back.
randiego
I know how I’d feel in your shoes. I hope he’s back by morning.
The Dangerman
Fine news to go to bed on in this time zone.
Christian
Yay!
nonymouse
and, of course. yay, Tunch pic!
Ed Marshall
n/m Glad he is back :D
Martin
Huzzah!
I’d suggest tying him to something in the house, but he’d probably just drag the house off.
It’s okay to cry when your cat runs away, particularly when your home revolves (literally, in Tunch’s case) around him.
Genine
Tunch will be back. He knows who loves him. All is well.
Tunch is very smart and resourceful. He’ll be fine. He’ll show up at your door as ornery as ever. :-)
Genine
Ah, yay!
Quaker in a Basement
No, you’re not. There’s no friend who is the equal of a good animal.
randiego
I can post now what I was going to say.
I was going to say… I’d be freaked out, because we have coyotes here. Glad he’s back.
inkadu
@Loneoak: Spill it.
nonymouse
@Loneoak: what inkadu said. let’s hear it.
jnfr
So glad Tunch is home. I’d have cried too, you know.
ruemara
My beloved kitty snuck out and we didn’t notice until bedtime at midnight. We then all ran around the neighborhood with flashlights until 3 am. He was found completely befuddled out by the wood pile, have a crisis of confidence because the neighbor-good heavens!- had dogs who barked at him.
He was traumatized for 2 days and promptly escaped again by a new route.
Cats are bastards.
MikeJ
Yeah Tunch! He knows how to get his picture on the web! Vote Tunch for cutest.
dlw
Glad to hear he’s safe. Something similar has happened to me twice.
The first was my old dog, Jake, an Australian Cattle Dog that I had since he was 8 weeks old. That do went everywhere with me.
One day I had stopped off at the bank and ran inside real quick. When I came out Jake wasn’t in the car. He had never jumped out of the windows before but it seems he did for some reason this time. I was frantic. Didn’t want to call for him because he might come running across a street and get hit by a car. Instead I just walked all over for a bit before remembering that I had left him at home that time because it was like 110 out that day. I felt like a dumbass and tremendous relief at the same time.
The other time, I had to board my cat with my sister for a few weeks and he ran off immediately. I couldn’t find him and filled out a lost cat form with the local animal shelter. Four months later I got a call from them saying a cat matching his description had been found about 3 blocks from my sister’s place. I went to that house and asked em. They said yah, a stray cat had been hanging out there for a while. He was probably out back on top of their AC unit which he had claimed as his own. I went back and looked and there he was. He jumped and came to me right away, acting like I had just dropped him off a few hours earlier.
CathiefromCanada
So glad Tunch is OK and home again – and hopefully, he’s a bit freaked out from going AWOL, enough that he won’t do it again!
And yes, I wanna hear the funny story, too…
Church Lady
So glad that Tunch made it home safe and sound.
ominira
Yay, all’s well that ends well!
I can go back to scaring myself listening to roots manuva.
Calouste
@randiego:
We have coyotes, raccoons, the odd bobcat and last week we saw a cat-like animal about the size of a German Shephard, probably a young cougar. We keep our cat indoors.
You Don't Say
Thank goodness he’s home!
One of my cats got out about a year ago. I had no idea how long he’d been gone because the door to the garage had blown open (my husband didn’t lock it and we have very high winds sometimes) while we were at work and he had gotten out the door in the garage to the backyard. I got in the car and sloooooooowly drove around the neighborhood yelling his name. I was a lunatic. I know just the kind of panic you felt tonight.
Now I hope Tunch doesn’t walk around wailing to be let out for the next month. ;-)
freelancer (itouch)
Knew it!
Faith, Cole. Sleep tight.
I like knowing all is well, but on asiangrrls behalf, we’re gonna need a pic of a disheveled tunch sometime tomorrow for proof of life.
Jane_in_Colorado
Cats like to roam, and will do it whenever they get the chance. Glad Tunch got home safely. I used to have two cats, but the little black one–the one who wasn’t so much a lap cat as a neck cat–disappeared about a year ago. Coyote got her, probably. But I prefer to tell myself she found a family that really enjoys cats as lapel ornaments.
Linkmeister
Oh, man. Thanks be that he came back.
Our citified beagle got loose in the Arizona desert once on a cross-country trip. She finally turned up after chasing rabbits for an hour or so. By that time the three of us were sure she was dead.
You Don't Say
@You Don’t Say: PS End of story, he was sitting in my neighbor’s yard when I came back from my drive around.
IndyLib
Glad the Feline Wanderer is home. And you’re not a loser John, you’re a DFH now, it’s ok to have and express emotions that don’t include dick waving and bombing brown people (I know, slightly different ways of expressing the same inferiority complex) and fauxrage.
inkadu
If you have time, you can train Lily to find Tunch. If nothing else, it will annoy Tunch.
Mnemosyne
The kitten made a bolt for freedom tonight and freaked us the hell out. She does it when she gets herself really worked up — in this case, it was the day after she got spayed and she was B-O-R-E-D.
Fortunately, she didn’t get far, but I did lock her in the bathroom by herself for 5 minutes after we got her back in. Between the coyotes and the mountain lion, we really don’t want her thinking she can go outside unless she’s safely in her carrier.
whenpigsfly
I’m crying, too. And I don’t even know the little turd.
So glad for both of you.
Anne Laurie
If you are a loser, you are not alone. Some of your loyal minions teared up, too. Thanks so much for thinking of us!
If this ever happens again (goddess forbid), a cardboard box with food in it is an even better cat trap than the food alone. Also, you might try putting Lily on lead and asking her “Where’s Tunch?” Even dogs with no special training or genetic predisposition generally catch on to the “Where Is” game very quickly (“Where’s the car?” when you’re finishing a trail walk, “Where’s Sammy?” at the dog park) and Lily might be able to point you in the right direction even if she can’t flush His Royal Bstardness out of his hiding place.
Comrade Mary
Oh, thank God. I can go to bed now. That little diva doesn’t care what worry he causes as long as he gets his treats and his photo in the blog.
And as soon as he horks up his snack, Lily will get her treat, too. Damn fine ecosystem you have running there, John.
RedKitten
Oh thank goodness Tunch is okay! And no, you’re not a loser for crying — you were worried as hell over one of your best friends. It’s beyond understandable.
freelancer (itouch)
You are not a fucking loser Cole!
Your pet gets loose, you find him, you get a little emo, thus you’re a loser? If you’re a loser, I’m a loser, and Cole, I am not a fucking loser.
You are so normal and Human that it is refreshing. Self-deprication is one thing, but don’t get down on yourself for tonight.
shecky
You’re not a loser, John. But try convincing Tunch after that little episode of yours. Think he had no respect for you before? His suspicions have all been confirmed.
AnotherBruce
Actually you are a loser, crying over a lost cat. Man up, this is embarrassing.
Just kidding. Glad you found the kitty. My cat is a supervised outdoor cat, (only goes outdoors when I’m home) never leaves the yard. Follows me around all day, a great buddy. I understand the emotion.
bend
Thank God!
I don’t even comment here often and when I read the first line of this post I started panicking.
You’re not a loser for freaking out; in fact, you’d be a sociopath for not.
auntieeminaz
See that smirk? Fat bastard indeed.
Quicksand
Dude, I love my cat too. Glad he’s back.
But when my cat escapes — and it does happen — he immediately stops, saying to himself, “oooh, grass!” And then he stops to munch on it.
Then I grab him, bring him back in the house, and he barfs it up.
ford powers
this is exactly why i read this blog. not only do i thoroughly enjoy your pithy social commentary – you are such a giant effin pet lover – it just makes me melt.
Beej
A few years ago, I came home from lunch with Mom to find that I’d neglected to close the front door all the way. Looked everywhere in the house for Boots, the Maine Coon cat, but he was nowhere to be found. I lived on a very busy street, so my next move was to stand on the front step and look up and down the street to see if I saw a black and white body in the street. God, that was scary! No little body, fortunately. I was ready to mount an all out hunt when Mom suggested I really should check the back yard first. And there he was, calmly batting at a day lilly blossom. He looked at me like, “Hey, why didn’t you ever let me do this before. It’s fun.” I scooped him up. Believe me, after that episode I made sure the doors were closed and locked before I left the house. And John, I was crying from the moment I saw that open door until I had him safely inside.
Nancy Irving
I don’t understand keeping a cat indoors.
They are wild creatures, meant to come and go as they see fit.
Unless they are being mistreated, they will return to their food bowl when they get hungry.
The animal shelters tell you to keep them in because they might get hit by a car if they go out. But so might you be hit by a car if YOU go out. Is that a reason never to leave the house?
Install a cat door. Tunch will love you for it. And he’ll lose some of that weight, without keeping him to a crappy “healthy” diet.
Let the cat enjoy himself. Animals have few pleasures–eating, sleeping, being petted, running around outside. Depriving them of any of these few pleasures is IMO cruel.
Let him have some Fancy Feast, then let him go out and run off the calories.
Sheesh.
Ripley
I had a cat disappear many years back, an adolescent orange tabby Manx named Chita. I cried, no shame.
Turned out he’d moved in with an old couple several houses away – I saw him napping on their porch almost two years later; called him. He came over and said hello, but had no intention of moving back in with me, little shit. I cried some more; now it makes me chuckle.
Glad the big lug made it home, Cole.
Ravi J
Hopefully Tunch lost some weight.
Beej
@Nancy Irving: I have to disagree with you here. I did have a cat get hit and killed by a car when I was in high school. He was an outdoor cat, accustomed to traffic. At that point I swore I would never again have a cat unless I could keep it indoors and I never have. Cats are comfort-loving creatures. They LOVE being spoiled and fed and having a soft, comfortable place to sleep and someone to see to their every whim. My mother had an outdoor cat that she brought to the city with her when she decided to get closer to me. She worried that the cat would dislike being indoors. It took her cat about 30 seconds to decide that she liked apartment living a whole lot better than being outdoors in the heat and cold. She never even tried to slip out and lived happily in that apartment for the last 8 years of her life. And no, domestic cats are not wild creatures. It’s true that they will go feral in a very short time if left to their own devices, but domestic cats are just that, domesticated.
Kathleen
Phew!!!
Can’t tell you how glad I am that Tunch is home and well.
My two cats get a dried bonito treat in thanksgiving- At our house we figure kitty joy is an exponential multiplier of the universal-happiness-quotient.
Yay Tunch!
JasonF
Glad he came home.
Years ago, the night before my wife and I were getting ready to move from the D.C. suburbs to Chicago, our cat got out. We lived in a not-very-nice nieghborhood* at the time, but there we were in the middle of the night wandering around the nieghborhood calling out “Here, kitty!” A couple of neighborhood toughs even helped us look for about five minutes. Thankfully, we found her and didn’t have to deal with postponing a cross-country move.
The cat we have now looks just like Tunch, which always amazes me each time you post a picture.
*Or, what passes for a not-very-nice nieghborhood in Montgomery County, Maryland. It’s not South Central by any stretch of the imagination, but there were drug dealers hanging around and somebody getting arrested for something a couple of times a month.
Robertdsc-iphone
Glad he’s home & safe. You’re no loser, either.
josefina
Tunch just wanted to remind you that he still occupies a vast space in your heart and on your futon.
And you are not a loser. It’s always horrible when a creature you love (biped or quadruped) is suddenly gone. It’s vastly more horrible when you feel real responsibility for the gone-ness. Why didn’t I shut the door quicker? Why didn’t I watch better? Why didn’t I put a tag on her collar? Why didn’t I micro-chip him? And the misery and regret increase geometrically when you think about all the times you barked at him for bugging you while you were on the computer, or rushed her through a walk because you were late for something.
So when you get that blessed second chance—of course you cry. Only a loser wouldn’t.
Which means Tunch has a second chance to torture you, and all’s right with the world.
Phoebe
Here’s what you can do if you want your cat to go walking but are scared of what might happen: take him for a walk.
This does not involve a leash, and does involve you kind of following them and them following you. It’s best at night, because they are freaked out by the cars and people and dogs in the day. So you mosey down a sidewalk and they go scuttling alongside a house. They always know where you are, though, and if you turn around, they will too. You keep an eye on each other. And put the collar with the tag on them before they go out. If they associate it with going out they sit still for it.
Mary G
I love you for crying and admitting it. Macho men make me sick.
My cat Sophie used to escape periodically. One night in a terrible storm she got on the roof of my porch. My neighbor put up a ladder, tried to get her off and got his hand ripped open for his trouble. His wife next tried with a can of tuna and almost got her hand ripped open, but was quick enough to get it out of the way. As a final resort, I went up – no luck. I kept getting up all night and opening the door and crying to think of poor little Sophie out in all that wind and rain. I came out to go to work and there she was on the front door mat, covered with dust but dry as a bone.
I’ve had rheumatoid arthritis for years and years and have had multiple surgeries and joints replaced and go out of my way to not even climb stairs, but I went up a ladder in a storm for my kitteh. Some things are just that important.
So glad Tunch is home and eating.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
Glad to hear he returned home! Our Tommy got out once late at night and I was up all night until he returned at 5am. Tommy and Sammy are indoor/outdoor cats but they are only allowed outdoors during the daytime. Neither of them leave the property, preferring hanging out in the garage or front yard. Sammy never wants out at night and Tommy is constantly trying to get out. Cats like night and Tommy wants to prowl then.
Bobbi is our former feral and she is not allowed out because we know that she would head for the hills in a heartbeat. She is a timid cat that is scared of her shadow so we are trying to acclimate her to our home and neighborhood by taking her outside in a large pet carrier on sunny days. She gets to be out there with her two other buds but it is clear she wants to get out and head out. One day we may let her out but it will be when we think she is ready, if she ever is.
We worry about our pets like they are a part of the family because they are. I am glad your guy made it back home safely John.
freelancer
After all my concern, and the subsequent outpouring of goodwill from the BJ readership, I feel it would be irresponsible not to speculate that this entire thing is a hoax.
Balloon Tunch has punk’d us all.
The helicopters are not laughing.
He was in the fucking attic the whole time, wasn’t he?
Something Fabulous
John, my Milo (on my lap) and I join you in a resounding “phew”! And Nancy Irving, your point about indoor cats having more tendency to weight gain is true: it can be a real challenge and seem counter-intuitive, but, the reasons for keeping cats fully indoors are about more than just traffic:
http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/cat_care/keep_your_cat_safe_at_home_hsuss_safe_cats_campaign/
[also a chance to practice my mad block quote skillz. Let’s see how it went…]
MoeLarryAndJesus
I hope Tunch had fun outside.
Indoor cats are unnatural.
daryljfontaine
@Beej: Agreed about them wanting a comfortable and safe place to call home. My mom retired to the southwest, and lives in a little place in the mountains. She had two cats originally, and one’s wanderlust had him crawl out the cat door, bounce up the obstacles on the enclosed porch, and across the roof to freedom — where, very likely, he was eaten by a coyote, as he was never seen again. A few years later, a feral kitten from a group of cats who were somehow managing to avoid the local wildlife slowly made its way from hiding in a woodpile outside onto her porch. Mom coaxed her in by leaving the porch door open and putting some blankets outside, along with some food and water. The kitten would come back and spend longer night after night, until finally one day Mom opened the house door, in walked the kitten, and she has never gone back outside voluntarily since.
I’m glad Tunch is back home and safe, John. All is well in Coleland.
D
MelodyMaker
@Something Fabulous:
I used to let the little one out, but that was in a very different neighborhood/house. She’d climb a tree and sit on the roof.
Now (11 years later) she escapes cuz she thinks its fkn funny and I PANIC. Give it a few hours and go out and she says “meow, hi, I’m just sitting under this bush. what?”
Polly
John Cole, you are so not a loser for crying from relief and joy. Just a decent human, lucky to have the ability to express those happy emotions.
A loser grits his teeth to keep from breaking down in emotional display, or slaps somebody around to express his feelings.
People and critters love you because you’re a real mensch. Quit beating yourself up.
Tattoosydney
No, just a fundamentally good man. I’m glad the Tunch came back.
simonee
Tunch had a wild night. Glad he’s okay.
Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)
@Nancy Irving:
I used to live next door to a woman who did as you suggest and let her cat roam free.
Until I got good and tired of cleaning up the trash bags that the cat would rip open, that is.
When I complained to her about it, she said that ‘God intends for cats to roam free’.
My reply was ‘Well, then don’t complain when I shoot him because it’s God’s will that I do so’.
Of course this was a hollow threat as I wouldn’t have harmed the cat in any way, but she didn’t know that. :)
As far as she knew I was just another redneck with an outsized gun collection* who was willing to use them.
That cat was an indoor cat after that little conversation.
In other words, while my ‘threat’ was a hollow one that I had no intention of carrying out, there are plenty of others who would happily lay out poison or shoot a cat or dog who is defacing or trespassing on their property.
*Her husband came over to bitch about the trash alongside the house (ironically it was there because of their cat ripping the bags open early that morning.
He saw me exit the house and immediately turned around and went back inside his own house.
I wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that I was loading up for a range trip and literally had trouble walking carrying a rifle over each shoulder (a Colt AR and an Egyptian Maadi AK), a .45 holstered on my hip, a 9mm in a shoulder rig, and carrying two heavy boxes of ammo and accessories and a cased 12 gauge shotgun.
Nah, because the only danger I posed to anyone under that load was if I literally fell on them because there’s no way I would have managed to get up under my own power. :)
R-Jud
Our cats are outside cats, since we don’t live near a main road and the roads we do live near have speed bumps (also the worst animals in the neighborhood, apart from pet dogs, are hedgehogs).
Still, about a month after we adopted Zeno (see here), he vanished. We enlisted the help of some neighborhood kids to find him, we fretted, we called in his RFID number, etc… no luck.
When he turned up three days later, around four am, purring and smelling like someone’s garage, my husband cried like a little girl with a skinned knee.
So you’re not a loser, Cole.
At least not for crying about the cat, anyhow.
Zuzu's Petals
So glad all has turned out well.
It’s worse staying up for a teenager, but at least they know how to find their way home.
inkadu
@Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman):
Two rifles, two pistols, a shotgun and two boxes of ammo to scare off a cat?
Maybe you could have gotten a decent trash can instead.
waynet
My stomach really sank when i saw this headline. So glad he is home.
Get some cat lojack on that fat bastard.
Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)
I’m glad Tunch is back home and safe, though if the cats I’ve known are any guide, he believes your concern is merely his just due. :)
All kidding aside, I know the feelings you went through.
Years ago my Mother (who loved dogs) ‘rescued’ my niece’s dog after my sister’s divorce because my sister wound up in an apartment complex that prohibited pets and Macey would have otherwise wound up in the pound.
One day after the rescue, I go home and immediately notice this black and white blur race by me on its way out the door while I’m going in.
In a panic I ‘race’ (it’s in quotes because I’m overweight and I’m lucky I didn’t have a heart attack) after the dog, but she escapes and runs across the busy street down the block.
I get in my car and follow her for three blocks and then she stops, looks at my car, and jumps in after I open the passenger door.
I hugged her and she didn’t try to run away after that.
In fact, after my Mother passed in March 2000, I adopted Macey and I frankly cried like a baby after I had to have her put to sleep in 2004 when a stroke left her incapacitated.
In my opinion real men aren’t afraid to show love and affection, whether it’s for a woman or a pet.
All bullshit aside, someone who looked down on me because I cried when my dog died isn’t someone I’d care to know on a casual basis, much less someone I’d be willing to call ‘friend’ or enter into a relationship with.
Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman)
@inkadu:
The Crosman .22 pellet pistol in my bedroom would have sufficed if I were serious, never mind the heavy firepower I was carrying at the time.
My neighbor’s reaction speaks volumes about his irrational fears versus the reality of living in Indiana, where if you literally can pass the Federal ‘instant check’, you can obtain a lifetime concealed carry permit.
Frankly while I feel Indiana has a lot of bass-ackwards laws WRT other things, I feel our gun laws are a model for the rest of you retrogrades living in states such as Illinois to follow.
Jeff Fecke
Cats are bastards. Damn them. Two years ago, the day before Halloween, my ex-wife’s black cat (one she and I had shared) decided to slip out. Now, this cat was fifteen years old, arthritic, and as intrepid as a sloth, and while we all combed the neighborhood, after she’d been gone more than two weeks, we all pretty much figured she was dead.
Which is why exactly three weeks later she showed up on the doorstep of someone four blocks away, meowing for food.
Yes, she was dehydrated (to the point of temporary blindness) and weak, but she managed to make it three weeks longer in the wild than I would have figured. And she’s made it two years past that. And despite her adventure, she still will tiptoe up to doors that look open, just on the off chance she could escape.
And yet we still put up with them. Lovable bastards.
patty gann
if you didn’t cry when your baby ran away from home, there would be something wrong with you. glad you found him!
Dave Weeden
@Obama Death Panel Chairman (formerly glocksman) @Nancy Irving
Well, if it’s safe to let Tunch out, you really should do so. Cats aren’t happy indoors.
pika
Oh thank goodness, John. I have cried in such situations, for sure. I never doubted that you would, either.
Fair warning: once this happens one time, it becomes a game to Tunch, who will crouch and lurk by the door in order to bust out through or around your legs. He’ll bounce out with those bunny-footing back legs that say “F*** you, foodgiver.” Be on your guard.
I have also taken cats out on a leash. In my experience, they are more annoyingly persistent than dogs in wanting to go out once they associate leash with outdoors.
Riggsveda
Oh, John, I’m so glad you got him back. I don’t often comment here but I read the site all the time, and it feels like I know you (I know, I don’t…I’m not delusional). And I know the heartbreak of losing a beloved pet, and the horrors that run through your mind as to what could be happening to him. I’ll raise a glass for you and Tunch tonight.
Comrade Scrutinizer
Nothing to see here.
Little Dreamer
I’m so glad Tunch is home.
TZ accidentally let Stormy out a couple of days ago, while I was asleep. Previous to our moving into our new apartment, I lived in a place where he couldn’t go outside at all. Now we have a front porch with lattice walls so he’s able to sit outside alone, so long as the latch door is closed. Unfortunately, the other day, TZ accidentally thought he closed the latch door without checking, and Stormy got out. TZ came to me and woke me in a panic telling me that the cat was missing. I immediately jumped out of bed and went searching in my pajamas, wondering if I’d be stuck outside running around the neighborhood in bare feet and night shirt. Luckily we found him about ten feet outside the latch door sitting in a open walkway which has two different paths he could venture down (I think he was confused on which one to take).
I agree with what someone said above, if you didn’t cry there would be something wrong with you. When I thought Stormy was gone, I cried too (at least until I found him about fifteen seconds later).
demkat620
Oh thank god he is home. I panicked when I saw the headline. Whew!
And you are not a loser. You are a good guy with a good soul.
GReynoldsCT00
John you are not a loser, the fat bastard is your best friend… even I panicked when I saw the first paragraph. I’m relieved he turned up. We’d all cry if something happened to Tunch or Lily as if they were our own.
geg6
Man, Cole, you sure know how to wake a girl up. Got up this morning, poured the coffee, and turned on the BlackBerry. Saw the thread title and about had a heart attack. And then the tears welled up. When they subsided a bit, I was able to read further and see that all ended well. And if you’re a loser for crying, then I’m the world’s biggest loser for crying over a cat I don’t know which is owned by a guy I don’t know. And I don’t even really like cats much. But Tunch is a special case. As you are well aware. Welcome home, Tunch.
Elroy's Lunch
Glad he’s back John. Went through that once with Elroy when I left a backdoor open at our weekend house. His weekly habit is a condo. In this rural town the dogs roam and several are serious cat-killers. He would have stood no chance against them.
Fortunately being outside was a new experience for him so he walked underneath into the house crawl-space. I finally found him standing in the outdoor shower after coming out the crawl-space entry, looking somewhat befuddled. I considered turning the shower on just to annoy his damn ass because he sacred the bejeebus out of me but, you know, I didn’t. I was just so damn glad to have him back in one piece.
Elroy says “Hey” to the Tunchumus.
SiubhanDuinne
I slept through this whole saga, but when I woke up and turned on the BlackBerry the headline was the first thing I saw. Burst into tears. What a way to start the day. Burst into fresh tears of relief when I saw the update and photo. I’m so glad Tunch came back.
Celebrated just now by voting for Bitsy, who is well over 2300 by now.
Elroy's Lunch
Habitat. Not habit.
Where’s my edit function?
RedKitten
Bit of a difference there — humans know to look both ways before crossing the street and can also take other precautions which greatly reduce their chances of getting hit by a car. Pets, not so much.
When we had cats, we always let them roam free, but we always lived on back roads with hardly any traffic, and the cat was never let out after dark. I have no arguments with people who keep their cats indoors — as long as the animal is cared for and loved, it comes down to us all needing to mind our own business and let people do what they feel is best for their own individual pet.
sarah in brooklyn
that was a scary thing to see first thing in the morning. i’m glad he’s back and ok.
linda
man, i am soooo glad to tune in late so that the update is there…
good to see everybody home.
Gregory
I’m so happy Tunch is home safe and sound.
BethanyAnne
@RedKitten: I lived in Berkeley for several years on a quiet street. There was an indoor / outdoor cat that like to sleep in the road when it was warm. I rolled up on my motorcycle one day, and stopped by him. Finally he yawned, looked at me, and got over to the sidewalk. The look was priceless: “oh, if you *insist*”. :-)
shaun
Tunch, like most cats, is in charge. Nothing is going to change that. But it does help to show a wee bit of spine and not always supplicate yourself to his whims. The next time he takes a hike don’t reach for the tissues. He’ll come back and perhaps come back a bit sooner knowing that you’ve got his number.
On a personal note, we have three rescue cats, two of which show no inclination to go outside because their experiences outside were awful. The third is a few cards short of a full deck and tries to get out from time to time. We have compromised by letting him “graze.” He goes out the back sliders across the deck and down the steps to the yard where he has a few nibbles of grass, looking back to make sure that one of us is keeping an eye on him. After a few minutes we pick him up and bring him back in.
It works.
WereBear
Now that John’s heart is calming down, I’m so glad I came in at the happy ending.
The indoor/outdoor argument will go on as long as people have cats. The thing is, if you let them out, you are simply rolling the dice about them coming back.
If you do, keep them in for three weeks after a move, to reset their “homing device.” Otherwise, they will set off for the old home, and get loster and loster.
In my case, I have sufficient reasons to keep them in, such as a busy road right outside, and critters in the woods behind us.
Sure, they like to go out. And our teenagers would love to be dropped off in Manhattan with a roll of cash and some fake ID.
Neither scenario is something we can feel easy about.
Tom G
Glad you got him back, John.
Our first dog loved to get out – she’d run all over the neighborhood and we had to get in the car and find her (she had a weakness for getting in it). The two dogs we have now are not nearly as likely to leave the general area. When we had cats none of them left the yard.
SGEW
All I can say is that I’m glad I missed the panic last night – came over to B-J and saw the update photo of Tunch before I even read the lede. Tense narrative with the knowledge that all turns out well; fine way to start the day.
Mai kitteh slipped loose once, and yes, ’tis a fearful experience (I live on the fifth floor, and I had a horrifying image of my cat slipping off the fire escape and falling to her death – silly, I know, but I couldn’t dispel the fear through reason). Naturally, she was back within the week, all “mew mew mew, time to be fed, why are you acting so weird?”
As to indoor vs. outdoor cat, I live in Manhattan and already rescued my cat from those mean streets – don’t really want th’ little furball messing with rats that outweigh her. Also: it’s “unnatural” for people to be “indoors,” but I’m pretty cool with living inside.
And if you’re a “loser” for reacting with human emotion to the thought of losing your cat, I’d hate to see how a “winner” would act in a similar situation.
Karen
Not a loser, John, a pet owner. I’ve had my husband twisting in circles when my cat got out, because it bothers him when I start crying. No matter what the reason.
We won’t go into the fact that Tunch thinks he’s the owner & you get out all the time.
slightly_peeved
Good to see Tunch got back safe and sound. I get pretty worried when I can’t find my old deaf cat.
jamfan
I am so glad I didn’t read this till after you found him! I would’ve cried for you. We have two indoor cats. Although we live in an urban suburb, on a fairly busy street, there are a few families that let their cats roam around the neighborhood. And damned if there aren’t two who look exactly like our two. So every time one of us sees “faux Hobbes” or “faux Mr. Knightley” outside, we run inside in an insane panic to triple reassure ourselves that we were not seeing our actual cats walking the streets. My younger son almost missed the school bus last week because of it.
Keith G
Wow, B-J loaded unnaurally slow this AM. So I spent what seemed like forever staring at the top of this post in heart-stopping shock. With the page up, I know today will not suck.
I am a veteran of “cats gone native” adventures. All mine turned our well – one after two horrible weeks.
But, I want details on the subduing of the great Tunch.
Lou Dyer Jones
I have always owned pets-I have four cats and a dog right now. About ten years ago, one of my indoor cats got out and went missing. I scoured the neighborhood, knocked on doors, put up signs and cried every day. My other cat (I had two at the time) was also inconsolable, howling at the window and crying whenever I left. I was certain I would never see her again. Three weeks after she got out, I went and adopted a kitten, which immediately soothed the frayed nerves of my other cat.
Two days after that, I got a phone call from someone saying a cat meeting her description had been in her garage for a week. I went over and, yes, it was her. She seemd none the worse for wear. I have never been so happy in my born days to see anything.
They are both dead now, although the kitten I got is ten and still with me.
So, I understand what you went through. I am so glad yours is home. Pet people get it. My other cats have gotten out from time to time, and I have chased my dog all over the neighborhood more than once, but never lost for any long period like that one was.
Demo Woman
I love happy endings!!
Chaz
Now that he’s back I can say Tunch was going Galt. To say so before he was recovered would’ve been mean.
Ash Can
Wow, I sure missed a lot by going to bed (relatively) early last night. Probably just as well; I wouldn’t have been able to sleep until the Tunchinator was reported safely back home either. And no, Cole, you’re not a loser for crying. You’re a good and decent person.
valdivia
I am late to this but I am so so happy Tunch appeared. I would have cried too John. This is why we love you.
Ash Can
@Church Lady: Actually, it’s St. Jude Thaddeus who’s the patron saint of lost causes. St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost articles. But you had the right idea, and the right saint for the job.
Cat Lady
Wow, I go get a few hours of sleep and missed all the commotion. I’ve also had many sleepless nights, tamping down rising despair and dwelling on imaginary horrors. I’ve had sleepless nights worried about my lost pets too. ;->
Helena Montana
So glad he got back OK. A strong wind once blew my apt. door open and my beloved Blitz cat vanished. I walked all over the neighborhood all day looking for her and calling her. I called the animal control officer who promised to keep up the search overnight ( I live in a VERY small town). At 9:00 that night, my upstairs neighbor came and asked me to come and get my cat–she’d been hanging out with him all day on the third floor and wouldn’t leave, the promiscuous little hussy.
MysticalChick
Just wanted to add to the YEY! action here. I was so glad to read that T-boy came back. You knew he would.
Crying (especially over beloved pets) is cleansing for the soul.
Hugs to you and your pet family.
Morbo
All I can say is if crying over your lost cat makes you a loser, I don’t want to be a winner. Glad he’s home.
Hugh
No time to read through the comments. But our cat Olive got out while we were on vacation once and was gone for a full week. One morning I heard meowing right outside the bathroom window and sure enough there she was. We live in Brooklyn. I’d already been to the pound and we’d put up a million signs. Cats, it turns out, really do come back.
Dave Weeden
Of course you’re not a loser for crying, John. Tunch is worth it.
Violet
Oh, how scary! So glad he’s back. I guess it’s mildly reassuring that he will return for food. Of course you cried. How very frightening. So relieved for you that he’s back safely.
Could this be his very delayed reaction to you bringing Lily home? He just wanted to remind you who’s boss.
debit
@Nancy Irving: First of all, they are not “wild creatures” any more than a dog is. They’re domesticated animals living in our environment and it is simply not safe for them to be outside. Even if they can avoid cars, dogs and coyotes, they can’t avoid disease. I imagine you would change your way of thinking if you’d ever seen a cat suffering the last stages of feline leukemia. I don’t know if the cat I saw was abandoned, a stray or someone’s “outside” cat. I just know she had eyes filled with mucus and blood coming from both her nostrils and her anus. As it was 8:00 on a Saturday evening when she crept up my walkway, I took her to the emergency vet, got her tested, diagnosed and then put to sleep to end her suffering when the vet made it clear there was no way to save her.
John, I’m glad Tunch made it back safely. And I’m sure your tears were very manly.
gogol's wife
@ford powers:
Same here.
I’m glad I missed this last night and only saw the happy ending this morning, or I would have been weeping uncontrollably. (I love Tunch!) I have lost 3 cats over the years, in broad daylight (probably coyotes). Now my three cats are inside, and they are quite content. And there are songbirds in the neighborhood once again.
EFroh
So glad you found the Tunch! My collarless/tagless kitty got out once and it was just a horrible feeling until she showed up again. (Now she’s chipped in case she ever makes a break for it again, heheheh.)
Comrade Darkness
I got all stressed the first time this happened (despite always collaring my indoor cats) now call out behind them as they head off: Better fend for yourself sucker! and I go off and do something for an hour. They are miserably waiting at the back door and scold me when I do let them in. Heh. Wimps.
Fulcanelli
Glad you got the kitteh back, Mr. Cole. Christ, I’d hate to think of what this crowd would do to you if Tunch disappeared for good.
I doubt you could ever train the urge to wander off out of a cat, but I’ve got a great trick our dog trainer taught us for getting a loose puppeh to come back. Ask me some time if you’re interested.
You’re not a loser for bawling, hell, you just got about 50 women wanting to smother you with lurve and have yer babies because you’re a sensitive guy who loves his pets and it’s not even 9:00AM. The BJ ladies won’t fall for this trick again John, so I wouldn’t recommend it. A woman scorned and all that…
Glad you found him.
Pastafarian
Glad to hear Tunch is safe and sound, John. Sounds like he just decided to go Galt for a while.
metricpenny
I’ve only owned dogs. Prior to this post, everything I know about cats I’ve learn from reading the Tunch posts and the snark about him from John and the BJ commenters. When I read the title, I assumed it was a warning to all in the vicinity of the Cole household.
Learned more this morning. Glad Tunch is safely back in the Cole sanctuary.
All’s well, that ends wails.
Michael #2
When I was in college many years ago, my beloved cat Spencer got out of the apartment during winter exams (he somehow managed to get into a hole in the cupboard and apparently receded into the bowels of the building and got out. Kind of like Andy Dufresne.). I also did the flyers, the miserable crying, the random searchings and neighborhood stalkings for about two weeks, and spent half a day home at Christmas, miserable the entire time. On New Years Eve I decided that I would put out some tuna fish, and sit on the couch and stare out the window. Obviously, I fell asleep, and literally just randomly woke up in the middle of the night and looked out my window and there he was at the door. But when I flung the door open, he bolted and ran. I was crushed. So I continued my vigil, fell asleep (again) and randomly woke up (again) to see the little guy outside the door sniffing the tuna (again!). This time I opened the door more slowly, he ran to the edge of the stairs, across the street (at 5am) and for about an hour I tried to coax him out from under a car. I finally grabbed him, and held onto him for dear life, got him back into the apartment, and had my first good night’s sleep in almost three weeks. (And he slept right next to me.) Moral of the story: when it’s true love, you have to keep working at it, and never get up. Glad Tunch is back home. Great news.
snarkyspice
I just saw this. I’m SO glad that you found Tunch! I know that horrible panicked feeling all too well (when I had it because I thought my cat had got out of the house, I cried and yelled and ran around like a madwoman … and then found her asleep in an upstairs cupboard).
MBL
I once spent four hours tearing apart my top-floor-of-a-three-story-walkup apartment and searching my neighborhood, wondering how in the blazing hell my cat had managed to get through three locked doors to get outside, only to discover her purring contentedly in a drawer full of clothes that my roommate had left open in the morning and I had absentmindedly closed when I got home from work. You’d think that at some point she’d have gotten hungry or something and started yowling to get out. Nope.
gelfling545
I am so glad your dear pet is back and yes, food is usually the way to get them back quickly. Many years ago my first (and still best beloved though long deceased) cat got out and did not return. As weeks went by I grieved and tried to move on but sorely missed him. About 3 months later my daughter called out “Mom, Come out to the garage” and there he sat. We referred to this ever after as his “grand tour”. He never strayed far again but became officially an indoor/outdoor cat.
It is anyone who would not be moved to tears by the loss and return of a dear friend who is a loser, not you.
To the person who is hurting because his cat wanted to run away – he didn’t want to leave you – he wanted to explore, kind of like a teenager does. Sometimes this ends well and sometimes not but love is always a risk.
Barbara
My missing kitty story: “Amanda” was the stray we saved (technically not stray, but family that owned her was overwhelmed with first baby and couldn’t take care of her and she kept following our existing kitty home. Saving her was a practical way to avoid having to take care of her AND any kittens she might produce).
But she was a little wild thing. We took her to the vet a few months later and she ran away.
Eleven days later, at 6:00 am, I was sleeping and had a vivid dream about a fife and drum corps circling my house. I finally woke up to this incredibly loud “piping” sound, which was the cat screaming at the top of her lungs to let her in the house.
She ran into the house and went straight into my mother’s bed.
If they know and love you they’ll find a way back.
schrodinger's cat
So glad Tunch is back. Hugs to both you and Tunch kitteh. The blog wouldn’t be the same without his ornery but dignified presence and no you are not a loser, for crying at the thought of life without your beloved friend Tunch.
South of I-10
So glad to hear Tunch came home. I went through that recently with little kitty and it sucks.
TimO
TREATS!?! I’D MAKE HIM CLEAN THE LITTER BOX!
Look at him; he could care less about what he put you through!
Cats, hmph . . .
Bulworth
Welcome back, Tunch!
Violet
I would have cried too, John. Tunch, never, ever do that again!
Roza
Tunch was just reminding you who’s the boss :)
Da Bomb
I am glad that Tunch came back. At least your cat didn’t try jumping off the 3rd story patio to try and catch a squirrel.
Mine did, the little shit.
Brian
Glad he’s back.
Elroy's Lunch
@Da Bomb
Yeah, we went through that one too. Three floors also…
truculent and unreliable
Awww, I’m glad you found him!
There’s no shame in crying over missing cats! My husband and I cried when we thought our fat-ass tomcat escaped a few years ago…it turned out that he was just sleeping in a dresser drawer under a bunch of clothes.
ET
A few years ago my indoor kitty made a break for the open door when my house was being painted.
I had heard that often cats who get out don’t go far so I walked around the corner calling for him and crying, I made fliers, and slept badly. I woke up early and peeked out of my back window and saw a furry black behind disappear under the deck. I grabbed my glasses and rushed down. This time when I called he came. Guess the grass wasn’t green – or at least there were no convenient cat bowls filled with food, water bowls filled with water, and cushy beds to sleep on.
Joe
You’re not a loser. I had a runt of a kitty for 19 years. She passed around Christmas last year. I never grieved so hard for anything in my life. She was an indoor cat and every time she escaped I freaked out. I love your love of animals. And your blog.
CaseyL
Believe me, Cole, every cat person (and likely every dog person, too) out here knows that fear, and sympathizes. Can’t count the times I’ve cried because someone went missing for a few hours… or days. I’m so glad Tunch came home!
Skepticat
Like several others, I’m so glad I missed this last night–I’d have been in tears and sleepless, too, and you really have my sympathy, John.
I’ve gone through the tortures of having a cat AWOL several times, and it’s very painful. All three of my cats were strays, so were indoor/outdoor for a while. When one wandered away for a few days (because I was very late getting home to feed him, it seems), another accidentally got locked in the toolshed overnight, and the third was just exploring (a very safe area) overnight, I became a raving lunatic. In retrospect, it’s embarrassing how unhinged I became, but….
Especially with an expanding wildlife population–fisher cats, coyotes, skunks, foxes, raccoons, and the like–it just became too dangerous, so the cats became full-time indoor residents. I disagree vehemently with those who say it’s unnatural.
Once in a while one of the cats will wander through a door left open (one of them simply really prefers the big outdoor litterbox), but very shortly thereafter will be on the porch yelling indignantly to be returned to the lap of luxury. They know where the restaurant is.
I hope Tunch has gotten this out of his system. None of us can take more trauma like this.
Jerome McDonough
Yay for safe Tunch!! And you are definitely not a loser. We’ve had one of our cats get out and it is definitely panic inducing.
AnneS
@geg6: what you said…. (but I love teh kitties).
Jennifer
My cats have always been indoor/outdoor – perhaps because I’ve always adopted strays who just showed up and had been living outdoors for weeks or longer already and they insisted on continuing to go outside. Cats who go outdoors on a regular basis are much less likely to “go Galt” and are generally a lot easier to get back home just by going outside and calling (actually, I whistle for mine – they’ll come to a whistle, just like a dog, and the sound carries farther). And I live on a busy street that did claim the life of one beloved kitty – but on the other hand, she so loved climbing the tree and getting on the roof and visiting the neighbors (this cat even loved toddlers) that I choose to believe the life she had was as happy as it could be even if it didn’t last quite as long. Current kitty I don’t worry about so much with the street – she’s so timid and skittish that she rarely ventures around to the front yard. Mostly she hangs around out back and goes up and down the alley, killing rats. It probably doesn’t hurt that every time I let her out I say, “stay OUT OF THE STREET. DON’T GO IN THE STREET.” I truly believe she knows, after 5 years of this, exactly what “the street” is, and in those 5 years, I’m only aware of her going to the other side of the street 3 times. The last time I saw her over there, I just walked up and said, “what do you think you’re doing over here?” I could tell by the look on her face that she knew exactly what I was saying – and she promptly bolted back over to her own yard. Generally she only wants out for 30 minutes or less at a time, always goes out right about twilight (best time for hunting), and is adept at knowing which window-screen to claw at when she wants back in. As for the coyotes and the like, I don’t worry about that at all – a cat familiar with its outdoor surroundings has a lot of places to go for escape.
So while I understand why many people choose to keep their cats in all the time, the fact is that the outdoors poses a much greater risk for those indoor kitties who escape than it does for the ones accustomed to being out – simply because the latter have more “street smarts” about their surroundings and they don’t get lost – they always know the way back home.
The Moar You Know
Had a cat as a child that vanished for about 10 days – she’d gone and snuck into a car that then drove about 40 miles away. She was wearing a tag, and when they found her they called us and we got her back – about three days before we were due to move across the country.
Fucking cats. They treat you like shit but I wouldn’t want to live without ’em.
Glad you got his Tunchness back, John. No need to call yourself a loser – I’d have cried too if you’d lost the big guy.
Wonk
I try to avoid blogging from work but I had to check in this AM ….
Yeay!
slag
Tunch! Never leave us again.
Tony Alva
Get the Tunchster a celly and problem solved. VERY glad he found his way home. Probably figured he’d be better off when he discovered that kibble trees don’t really exist. I would have been worried sick myself. That is one heeping bowl of treats.
JHF
No problem understanding your feelings, Mister John. Just check this out!
JenJen
You know you are far too emotionally invested in a certain blog when you click on a post like this and tears well up just from reading the headline.
Thank gawd for happy endings!
(ETA: Not sure what Tunch’s favorite treat is, but when my cat gets out and I can’t find him, I stand outside and shake his catnip container, and he comes running. Never fails.)
kommrade reproductive vigor
Phew! Don’t blame you for being upset. I go to Def-Con 3 whenever the furry assholes go AWOL for more than 6 hours. And yes, I have camped out in the yard when they’ve gone missing overnight.
MazeDancer
It’s impossible not to be frantic. And nothing losery at all about crying. Means you’re a normal, good cat dad.
Spent many a midnight hour doing the same search. And same crying. They come back, but it doesn’t feel that way at the time.
So glad all’s well.
mslarry
Yay! Tunch is home
drillfork
Until the last few years, my now 16-year-old cat used to go outside. I felt somewhat comfortable with the arrangement because he was absolutely terrified of cars, so I knew he’d never venture into the busy street in front of my house; he’d only wander in the quiet residential area out back.
In general, I’d make sure he was in for the night. But a couple of times I got tired of waiting up, so he stayed out till morning.
Then, one night, a few days after I got back from a business trip, he went out didn’t come back. And unlike the previous times, he wasn’t waiting on the porch the next morning.
He didn’t come back the next day, or the next. I did the whole flier thing, but nothing.
It went on for two weeks and two days. Didn’t come back. I was about to the point where I figured I’d never see him again.
Then I’m sitting up past midnight one night, wondering why I haven’t gone to bed yet. There’s this little thud at my door. It was Nash.
He was emaciated and filthy, but otherwise unharmed. I can only assume he got trapped in a garage, and the owners went out of town.
Being a part-time outdoor cat, he’s had some dust-ups since, but nothing that bad. Oddly, about 3-4 years ago, Nash lost almost all interest in going outside. Now he spends his summers curled up under my computer table, and the fall and winter months lounging on his electric blanket. As a secondary function, said electric blanket also serves as the cable modem for my Internet.
I really thought I’d lost him all those years ago. It was a constant, dull dread…
Bun
Our second kitten got out about a month after we got her, and we spent the whole evening in a freakout. My wife was so distraught she cleaned the entire house (she never cleans) as some sort of coping mechanism. Then at 3am I woke up and our other cat was scratching at the front door, and when I opened it she was out there.
Awful experience but happy ending.
johnny
A man who can cry is a good thing, John.
Glad your kitty is home. I would cry too if my cat ran away and I am 38 years old…
I’d also like to see someone try to call me a loser for it to my face…
:)
Robin Kunde
One of my cats ran away twice. The first time, he came back hungry, dirty and with a cut above on eye a whole day later.
The second time he came back… to poop in his box.
Svensker
Aw, John, the crusty curmudgeons are the squishiest on the inside. That’s why we loves ya. Glad Sir Bad Kitty is back.
Tsulagi
Yeah, the fat cat has got your number. Who was the hunter and who was the prey?
He did the math. Fucking bastard keeps sticking a low-fat fiber diet to me even using a freaking measuring cup for my meager portions. Show his ass.
So when opportunity arose, covertly slipped out the door probably taking up position in a blind across the street with a clear view. Predictably saw his target come out freaking. Held fire waiting for maximum benefit likely getting a giggle watching your puny attempts to flush him. Several hours later, he pulls the trigger scoring multiple high-fat tasty treats. He may be fat, but it’s apparent he has a tactical mind. Look for a future repeat; he’s got you trained.
inkadu
We are all John Cole now.
SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta
This is why we love you.
MNPundit
You are a loser, a loser with a cat.
That’s what you wanted right?
Phoenician in a time of Romans
I’m glad he found you again.
But, you know, we’re talking *Tunch*. Couldn’t you invest in a gravity wave antenna to keep track of him?
Billy K
I think this was just a publicity-seeking hoax. How could you lose something that big? It’s like a white, furry blimp.
tess
So Relieved Tunch is Home! Yay!
And you’re only a Loser if you didn’t cry.
One of my indoor-only cats has always tried to escape. Our front door needs to be locked w/the key in order to stay shut, and given the chance, she’d be out of there. Thankfully, she always took the same escape route, so was easy to find.
That said, our in/out cat (Jack) disappeared about 4 months after we added him to our household. We put fliers at every house or apt in a 3 block area, papered the neighborhood with them. Nothing. The weekend he disappeared, students were moving out of their rentals for the summer–we thought for sure he had bolted out of the back of a U-Haul in suburban Atlanta or died of heatstroke en route to Savannah.
I gave up hope after about 12 days, was heartbroken, so didn’t answer the phone when it rang that evening. About 30 minutes later, a family shows up on our doorstep with a very scrawny, freaked out Jack. He’d been trapped in their basement all that time, in a house diagonal from our backyard. Their 2-year-old kept telling them there was something making a noise under the house, so the dad went down to show her there wasn’t anything because they couldn’t hear it, and found Jack.
He hasn’t gone missing in years (knock wood) but on nice nights, sometimes won’t come when called (he comes to a specific bell ring). My husband says to let him spend the night outdoors and he’ll be better about coming in next time, but I get up every couple of hours to bring Jack inside. Peace of mind and all that.
gsp
oh my heart sank when i read that but glad i read it when the update was already up. glad the fat bastard is back.
Billy K, that was fucking funny though with that weight it’s incapable of floating/flying.
Fuck, you have the funniest readers/posters.
On a side note, though perhaps already posted as I did not read each post but putting out the cat litter box also can get them coming back apparently.
CatStaff
@gsp: gsp: That bit about the litter box is supposed to work, definitely. Also, taking clothing that has the person’s scent on it (underwear works best, but hey . . . ) and putting it around the outside perimeter of the house is good, too.
I’ve taught my 6 bastards to come when I shake their treats package and say “treats!” in a high-pitched voice. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but it works, and I may need it someday. They come galloping from wherever they are in the house when they hear that package rattle.
Tunch, dude, give your dad a break.
Notorious P.A.T.
I’m glad he’s okay.
Vince
Great to hear you got Tunch back. A loser? I think not. Try this – while dog-sitting for my sister, her deaf Australian cattle dog got out. I panic and rush outside at 9pm calling his name. Yes, yelling for a deaf dog. Realizing the feebleness of my efforts, I stopped and waited for the dog to come home Which, after 5 minutes, it did.
cay
On Sunday someone took my cat from out front of my house thinking he was a stray (he’s indoor/outdoor). He took him to the vet and trapped him in his house. After seeing my signs in the neighborhood he called the next day. I ended up reimbursing him the $250 he paid for the vet. ARGH. But at least Hooper is home. :)
LoveMonkey
Unless they are ill, injured, or being really mistreated by their captors, or get catnapped by some pet thief or misguided do-gooder, cats always … always … come home.
They sleep out there for long periods, but they don’t go far, and then they get to wondering where their food is, and they will come home to check their food dish.
When it comes to this sort of thing, 99.9% of cats are as predictable as a sunrise.
Stop worrying when the cat gets out. He or she will be back soon enough.
asiangrrlMN
Before I read the whole thread, I am so very glad I did not read this real time. I would have been devastated. Cole, you are not a loser for crying. Not in the least. Welcome back, Tunchie, and don’t every do that again!
fishbane
Fuck no, you’re not a loser. I had an escape artist gone for 2 days a few years ago and was miserable. I was about to write that you wouldn’t believe how guilty and angry at myself I was over it, but I’m sure you do believe it.
I’m glad the little furry monster is back.
jl
I thought Tunch was a responsible outside cat who stayed close to Owner Designated Areas.
Glad he is back, but man, does he look cranky.
sylvia
Glad Tunch came home! I hate it when the animals get loose – it happens at our house too but it’s usually a dog on the run!!
asiangrrlMN
@RedKitten: Amen, sister. My cats’ mom was a stray, but they were born in captivity. They have never lived outside. The one time Raven got out, he froze, looked around and ran back in. Sometimes, I do have a twinge of conscience about not letting them out, but just a twinge. They are healthy, and happy, and they have plenty of room to run.
On the other hand, my best friend has a cat that howls if he can’t go out, so he is indoor/outdoor. He’s lost an ear to frostbite, and he’s gotten into more fights than she can count, and he will die earlier, most likely, than his brother, but he will be happy.
One size does not fit all.
Cole, I am so so glad Tunchie came back. You are not a loser for crying. I was tearing up even knowing that he was back home safe and sound. Thanks for the pic as proof of evidence.
licensed to kill time
My cat Guido disappeared once for a week. I had looked and searched and called and done everything I could think of to find him, and finally accepted that he was gone.
One morning he showed up at the door, limping and meowing for food. His hip was stiff and he looked like he had been lying on his side for a while. I think he got hurt and crawled off to either die or recover – and recover he did!
I was so goddamn happy to see him I cried. John, I’m glad Tunch came back quicker and w/o injury. Crying with relief does not make you a loser in my book.
Michael D.
Oh please. The cat just wanted to go to the gym.
Of course, he only made it to the end of the driveway and collapsed, but he INTENDED to go to the gym!
licensed to kill time
@licensed to kill time:
Oops, bungled my addy in above post, please forgive and unmoderate!
Laura Clawson
Since you’ve got him, less relevant, but I’ve found that heating tuna helps to catch a cat that’s run out — it smells so strongly then that it’s like a little homing beacon.
You Don't Say
@inkadu: :))))
KLG
Had a cat once who up and left to live off the land in the woods across the street. I’d see him once in a while, but he didn’t come back until it was time to die. Strange and sad.
CynDee
John, there is NO way you could ever be a loser.
Aaron
This comment doesn’t add much, but I’m so relieved for you to hear he came home.
REN
Loser? Why? If you didn’t mourn such a loss then I might consider it. We once had a cat that disappeared in early Nov. We live in far Northern Wisconsin. When she didn’t come back soon we figured that was it. In early April I went out to go to work and there she was sitting on the porch like she had been gone for five minutes. Cats are amazing.
Stella Gorlin
My cat Calvin got out once when I lived in Boston. My housemates had left the front door open accidentally and I suddenly realized that I hadn’t seen him in awhile. After searching the house frantically, I went out onto the porch, burst into tears, and called my boyfriend. He tried to calm me down but I was inconsolable. And then I saw a little creature calmly wandering up the sidewalk towards the house. Yes, Calvin came back. And he has never stepped foot outside again.
Jen R
I’m glad you got your Tunch back so quickly! (Though it probably didn’t feel very quick to you.)
Darkrose
You’re not a loser, John–or if you are, then any pet owner is. I’d be frantic if either of my boys got out.
joe from Lowell
You’re a big lug with a big, soft heart, John.
And that’s probably what saved you from being a wingnut your whole life.
sw
I woulda cried too.
licensed to kill time
Oh, and this just made me think of a lost dog story from my youth. We had a beagle named Huck who went missing for months. He came back one day after we had given him up for good, and a few days later a family showed up at our door and said “We think you have our dog!”. They said they had bought him from a college student, and they had named him Buck.
He spent the next few years of his life trotting between our two houses and families, quite happy with the arrangement.
Huck and Buck, bi-polar pup.
JR
When my wife and I were getting ready to move from Sarasota to DC, we had the front door open most of the day as we carried stuff to the U-Haul. We didn’t even consider that the cat might run off, since he’d never shown any interest at going outside.
Well, around sundown, we noticed that he was nowhere to be found, and in a mostly empty house it ought not be that hard to find a ball of black fur. So I start wandering the neighborhood, asking everyone if they’ve seen a black cat with half a tail, and nobody has.
After about an hour I returned home and emphatically told my wife that she’ll have to drive to DC without me, because I’m not leaving without my cat. Around that time we hear a meowing from the wall, and discover that he’d managed to loosen and crawl behind the access panel for the bathroom plumbing. He was tucked up next to the far side of the underside of the tub.
Took about twenty minutes to coax him far enough out to grab him, and another half hour before I would stop hugging the little guy.
Mike Toreno
Since you’ve got him, less relevant, but I’ve found that heating tuna helps to catch a cat that’s run out—it smells so strongly then that it’s like a little homing beacon.
That should work, all right. Even if you don’t get *your* cat, you should get *a* cat – and maybe many cats!
I don’t ever expect to have that problem with my cat. He is a rescue, his owners left their apartment hurriedly and he got left behind, one of my wife’s colleagues collected him off the street after he’d spent about 4 days outside. He runs from strangers, he didn’t run from her, he hates being put in a carrier, he didn’t resist when she put him in a carrier. The prospect of being back indoors was enough to overcome his dislike of strangers and carriers.
He has disappeared a couple times, a friend of ours spent the night, and he just vanished. We hadn’t seen him go out, didn’t think of any way he could have gotten out – he just disappeared. It turned out there’s a rip in the underside of our box spring, he is able to get up in there and hide.
Joe L.
Well heck I’d cry too if one of my cats got lost. A few hours is long enough for me to imagine it not coming back, getting taken by a coyote, getting hit by a car, or just being lost and scared. Sure glad your critter is back safe John!
BubbaDave
I’m amazed that nobody has mentioned the Old 97’s song “Murder (Or a Heart Attack) which is a song about an escaped cat:
“The hole in the screen is barely big enough
For you; not near enough for me to go
And the whole damn complicated
Situation could have been
Avoided if I’d only shut the window
And I may be leaving myself open
To a murder or a heart attack
But I’m leaving the back door open
‘Til you come back
‘Til you come back
And I may be moving myself closer
To a real untimely end
But I’m leaving the back door open
‘Til you come home again.”
BubbaDave
Oh, and not a loser. You’re just property of a feline; join the club.
Mike
John…glad Tunch is back, but a cautionary tale.
I had a girlfriend who lived alone in a small apartment with her cat.
We decided to live together.
She and her cat moved into my house and all was well.
Then my girlfriend got a dog. The cat began disappearing for days at a time.
Then the cat did not come back at all. Panic, tears, searches.
A couple of months later, while taking a walk, we found the cat.
It had found a single woman, living alone in a small apartment a couple
of blocks away, and had moved in with her, basically recreating the
original environment it had grown up in.
At present, a cat has moved into our backyard and adopted us. We feed her
and look after her, although she stays outside (we have 3 indoor cats who
don’t like company) This cat lived with a family in the neighborhood, (for 11 years!) but they also got a dog and the cat decided to move out.
Cats are devious and smart. They’re not sentimental. Just sayin’…
Eljai
I’m so glad Tunch is back! I wish I could bury my nose in his bountiful folds of fur!
Jason Bylinowski
I’ve been working my ass off today, John Cole, but I had to come back home and check on your cat before I could go any further with ANYTHING.
Now who’s a loser, huh, huh?!?
(whew)
CynDee
@Mike: They do vote with their feet. We got a wonderful dog that way. He kept leaving his home two blocks away (nice home and lady) and showing up at our house and we would enjoy him awhile and then call his lady and she would come pick him up. Finally we all worked it out that he really wanted to move, so we all let him. We had him the rest of his life, a real charmer, sweet peppy little guy half Jack Russell and half beagle. Absolutely wonderful, and we’re so happy he chose us.
chrome agnomen
man, i am mapping your brainwaves.
“that bastard, he made me out a fool, again”
but i miss him more than only a mere handful of people.
chrome agnomen
loser.
also.
Dilbatt
We were sound asleep the other night at 12:30AM, when there was a loud noise. M thought I had fallen out of bed. She then looked up just in time to see Cosmo go out the window. Somehow, he had pushed out the screen and jumped. We walked the block for an hour with flashlights, but there was absolutely no sign of him. Needless to say, it was difficult to sleep that night. We woke up in the morning, and M said that she had gotten up at 3:30AM to look for him again. While we were talking at 7AM, I heard a cat yowling. M rushed out the door and called him, and he ran up. He was extremely satisfied with himself. Bastard.
Bombs'R-Nuts
That’s what cats do DooD.
They go outside.
Then they come home.
Until one day they don’t
Then you get another cat.
LiberalTarian
That *is* one fat cat.
And, yes, if one of my rat-bastard kitties got out the door I would be heartbroken and cry tears of relief and joy when the little fucker came back home.
Ah, the joys of having cats.
Milo Johnson
I wasn’t aware that “damned loser” meant “caring daddy,” but either way, the main thing is that the pretty baby came home in one piece.
Betsy
holy shit, I’m glad I didn’t have internet for two days. I didn’t see this until Tunch was safely home. I would have been so sad and worried until knowing he was back.
And Cole, if my cat escaped, I would cry like a baby. I’m getting teary just thinking about it.