Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

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Reader Interactions

155Comments

  4. 4.

    Jean

    I vote for her every day, and I don’t even get it. It’s just “get up, vote for Bitsy, go to work.” When does it end?

  7. 7.

    Phoenix Woman

    Tunch’s name would make a great hockey chant:

    Tunch Tunch Tunch Tunch,
    Tunch Tunch Tunch Tunch,
    Tunch Tunch Tunch Tunch,
    Tunch Tunch Tunch Tunch, Tunch Tunnnnch!

  8. 8.

    ellaesther

    @Jean: Technically, tonight, but I wonder if all the semi-finalist/finalist brou-ha-ha will mean that we’ll have to keep voting for awhile.

    Somehow, some magical way, this translates to money for a woman who cares for animals in need on her own dime and own time — and comes very highly recommended by our Laura W. Beyond that, I don’t get it either.

  9. 9.

    Brick Oven Bill

    My vote was # 7578. You should not have deleted that last comment. There was nothing wrong with it.

  10. 10.

    Mark S.

    How do you get the running tally w/o scrolling through the three million dogs in the competition?

    (Oregon St. is making a game of it)

  11. 11.

    Steeplejack

    [Groundskeeper Willie voice] I voted this mornin’. There’s not a bloody thing more a man can dooo!

  12. 12.

    ellaesther

    I wrote something the other day that I’m just SURE I should write again here:

    Wouldn’t this whole “Vote Bitsy” thing make a great case study for someone who wanted to explain the election process to kids? Technically, all we’re voting on is “cute,” and if that were truly my only criteria, I likely would’ve voted for one of those dachshunds…!

    BUT, other issues come into play, as in any election, and then you also factor in the impact of grassroots organization (us, et al), and the fact that Bitsy eventually got endorsements from high places (those hoity-toity bloggers out there, can’t remember who exactly right now, who endorsed her and called on folks to pull the lever), and it’s a whole different kettle of fish!

    Not to mention the sheer amount of effort involved in getting a measly 9,000 votes.

  17. 17.

    Dee Loralei

    She’s at 8892 now! When do they announce the winner? Is it close to midnight and the end of voting? Or do they dally and let the suspense build til Sunday AM?

  18. 18.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    I was #8899.

    I’m new to the cutest dog thing. So what kind of spam have I signed up for?

  19. 19.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Done, I actually feel ashamed cause I was offline yesterday and not able to vote, in my defense I was spending time with my beloved 14 year old pooch who does not have much time left with me. We went to Lake Waccamaw, and he absolutely adored it, lots of pics of rolling around in the grass and stuff to come later. (Him that is, not me, just wanted to point that out)

  23. 23.

    Steeplejack

    @dfd:

    There’s no spam! I’ve been voting for weeks and have gotten nada, zilch, nuttin’! Vote for the freakin’ dog already. You’re killing me here.

  25. 25.

    Elizabelle

    Litlebrit: looked at your blog and photos the other day; liked the beach pics.

    Hope you and your pup enjoy your remaining time together. They just don’t live long enough. But they live in the moment, and that’s often a good lesson for us.

  26. 26.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Don’t feel bad about missing a day. You had good reason. I am sending a white light to surround you and your pooch in this difficult time.

    @Steeplejack: Agreed. I have gotten zilch from them, and I’ve voted every damn day since this started.

    Oh, and Cole? I LOVE YOU!! Thanks for the pic of Tunchie. He completes me!

  30. 30.

    Steeplejack

    @John Cole:

    Re update pic: I think pictures of Tunch should include the front page of the current day’s newspaper, because how do we know you aren’t just recycling some months-old picture of Tunch? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    Steep +4, wait, +5? Dumplings. I need more dumplings.

  40. 40.

    eco2geek

    Little Bitsy looks like she should be in the “Dog with the most perennially worried look on her face” competition.
    …
    All right, I went and registered and voted. #8936.

  41. 41.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: Hon, go do an intervention with TattooSydney on the open thread. Now he’s trying to convince Michael Gass that he is teh ghey, too. I swear, my FH#1 has the softest heart ever.

  42. 42.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Yeah he is, and he is in human years 98, and feels it every day,I cannot begin to express to you how tough this thing is, cause I know, (as only we hoomins know) that he has such a short time left. I am trying to fill his last days with us full of happy stuff, of new smells, of new experiences, of happy days. I think his happy days are done, and it is only a matter of time, he is going to go to sleep and not wake up. But, he will be happy, and loved, and cared for. A dog could not wish for more.

  43. 43.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Litlebritdifrnt: He is dearly loved. He is going to be with the ones who loves him in his last days. He will be with the very people who will do all they can to make his passing as easy as possible. He is, indeed, lucky (yes, a pun). May we all be so blessed.

  44. 44.

    William

    John, more than an hour left. The voting site is on PST.
    I’m on the east coast and just voted at 12:24 AM but it came up:
    Last vote 10/24/09 at 9:24:PM PST Votes: 8940

    Come on people I can’t be the only loser voting for Bitsy tonight!

  45. 45.

    Tattoosydney

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Hon, go do an intervention with TattooSydney on the open thread. Now he’s trying to convince Michael Gass that he is teh ghey, too. I swear, my FH#1 has the softest heart ever.

    Oh, please, he’s not gay. He has certs to prove it.

    BoB on the other hand…. he’s making threatening S&M talk over in the other thread.

    If I were gay TattooSydney, you would no longer know your last name.

    Last time someone said something like that to me I couldn’t sit down for a week.

  46. 46.

    Steeplejack

    @asiangrrlMN:

    In fact, I do not have enough to share. My brother made like a huge stockpot of chicken and dumplings, and I got pushed out the door with a small Tupperware container because they were heading out to a party. WTF?! (Which seems to be my theme tonight.) Had some tonight, saving the rest for tomorrow. Mine, all mine.

  52. 52.

    jeffreyw

    Mrs J just got in from work, has to turn around and go back in for the day shift. Bastards are laying her off this week. At least she gets to work days her last week.

  55. 55.

    AhabTRuler

    @Tattoosydney: I am really liking the remix of the Bertie Blackman track on the Nu Breed set, but neither the single or the album that it is off of is available in the states. Know anything about her other work, &c.?

  57. 57.

    Steeplejack

    Haw! Just saw Update No. 2. Love the newspaper and also Laura W’s black cat, who has that great “I am irritated and I will fuck you up” look. I had a black cat who did that exact same look.

  61. 61.

    trollhattan

    8,984. Don’t know how the commie pommie is doing. That Web site is seriously lame. Also.

  63. 63.

    jeffreyw

    @General Winfield Stuck:
    Not really that bad, she was gonna retire at the end of December anyway, she’ll draw comp for a coupla months and then pull the plug. She’ll still get health insurance and a fair pension (defined benefit kind). We are fine.

    It’s just a general fuck you to the peeps there from management.

  69. 69.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: BTW not to detract from your fun but I do believe we have exposed Mr Gass as a potential poser. Amazing what will happen if you give someone enough rope.

  71. 71.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    Do we know if 9k (+ now) is enough to make her a semi-finalist? I have no idea who might be close to her, since the site is not set up in any way that makes sense, to me anyway.

  73. 73.

    Violet

    Yay! Just got back from a concert and find that Bitsy is over 9000! Go Bitsy! Who woulda thunk it? Nine thousand votes for her! That just makes my day!

    That must mean I’m exceptionally lame.

  74. 74.

    AhabTRuler

    you can buy here albums from here.

    You sure can, but AU$24.95+shipping is a little steep for a wild shot. Some of her other stuff is available for download in the US, so hopefully the most recent album will come along eventually.

  78. 78.

    AhabTRuler

    you can buy here albums from here.

    You sure can, but AU$24.95+shipping is a little steep for a wild shot. Some of her other stuff is available for download in the US, so hopefully the most recent album will come along eventually.

    That fixes the blockquote FAIL above, for clarity.

  82. 82.

    asiangrrlMN

    All right, bitchez. I got three hours of sleep last night, so I think I’m turning in early–which means I should be up at four in the morning or so.

    Sigh.

    No feeding the trolls while I’m gone, TattooSydney and Yutsano, you hear me?

    Sheesh.

  84. 84.

    Violet

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    We don’t know for sure. We can only hope that it’s enough so she wins her week. She’s way ahead of all other Top 30 dogs from last week, so unless there’s a dark horse dog that comes out of nowhere, she should win the week.

    Go Bitsy!

  89. 89.

    Cain

    @jeffreyw:

    Mrs J just got in from work, has to turn around and go back in for the day shift. Bastards are laying her off this week. At least she gets to work days her last week.

    Opportunity to find better work I hope. Good luck to her!

    cain

  90. 90.

    John Cole

    And Lily and Tunch just woke me up because the possum outside was in the neighbor’s trash. I am proud to say my general area is now CLEAR OF ALL POSSUMS and I can go back to bed. Seriously, Tunch. You are an indoor cat. Stop the god damn yowling at wildlife. You just get Lily worked up.

  92. 92.

    MikeJ

    Our long national nightmare is over:

    Phase One, Week 12 of the Cutest Dog Competition has ended. Thank you all for playing. Congratulations to the semi-finalists.
    Please give us a few hours to transition to Phase Two of the Cutest Dog Competition

    A new long national nightmare awaits!

  97. 97.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Congrats, LB! I would think that being the winner of the final week would generate some momentum into the semis, but I also think this contest is far too long. Give her the money already!

  99. 99.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Just noticed this:

    *$1,000,000.00 Grand Prize paid as 30 annual installments. The first annual payment of $33,000 will be made within five (5) business days of the selection of the Grand Prize winner. Thereafter, All American Pet Co, Inc. will make twenty nine (29) additional annual payments on September 30 of each subsequent year. Twenty eight subsequent payments will made in the amount of thirty three thousand US dollars ($33,000). The thirtieth (30) annual payments of forty three thousand US dollars ($43,000) will be the last payment and sum the Grand Prize winning to one million US dollars ($1,000,000). All payments will be made by an official bank check drawn on the Bow Wow Million Inc. or its surviving corporate entity’s bank account.

    They’re assuming that this company will be in business and have not declared bankruptcy for 30 years to make the million dollar prize. That payment structure is bullshit.

  100. 100.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    Someone rickrolled the Birfers, the guy who ‘found’
    the Kenyan birth certificate has filed something with the court about one of Oily Taint’s buddies (Chas. Lincoln) scroggin on Oily (retch) and Oily asking the certificate guy to perjure himself. Whatever the fuck the blather is all about, this line (regarding the rickrolling ‘news’ they swallowed) from a Free Republic ‘member’ made me laugh my ass off at these fools:

    The story is fake, but accurate.

    Reality is not needed when you can create your own.

  105. 105.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    We vote today and there’s a new contest tomorrow? WTF? I’m starting to understand why Alfred pulled out. This is like Groundhog Day.

    More voting isn’t going to go over well with my Farmville neighbors. I may have to threaten to burn down some farms.

  106. 106.

    Jane2

    Little Bitsy’s march to victory is starting to remind me of the American electoral system…how much Rufus-spawned anti-Bitshy propaganda will we have to endure through these multiple votes?

    But I’m up for it…for now…..

  107. 107.

    MikeJ

    Little Bitsy’s march to victory is starting to remind me of the American electoral system

    More like Afghanistan. Vote, vote, vote again.

  108. 108.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I guess calling the contest “How Long Can You Harass The Piss Out Of Otherwise Well-Intentioned Folks For Dubious Gain” doesn’t have the same pet-friendly ring to it.

    Wait, we’re prolly being monitored to see which group of supporters most deserves the prize. Must. Radiate. Pleasantness.. awwargh!

  109. 109.

    MikeJ

    Wait, we’re prolly being monitored to see which group of supporters most deserves the prize. Must. Radiate. Pleasantness.. awwargh!

    This is the most sincere pumpkin patch.

  110. 110.

    Skepticat

    Gawd, I’m so easily entertained. My vote just moved Bitsy into the lead, and you’d think I’d accomplished something my very own self. Go, Bitsy baby.

  112. 112.

    2th&nayle

    @arguingwithsignposts: Hahaha! No can’t say I’ve ever met a 30 year old dog, but that strikes me funny! Makes me think of the scene in “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” where the old man is walking imaginary “Uga” around the park. Funny stuff

  113. 113.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Rufus is taking off. The Huckleberry must be standing over his minions, lashing them while screaming maniacally, “Ah ha ha. Ah ha ha. Ah haaah haaahhh, haaahhh!”

  117. 117.

    Laura W

    I am WAY too hungover from the victory party of last night to even begin to deal with this but if y’all want some extra blog commenting fun, go to the contest blog since everyone will be commenting in Bitsy’s victory thread today.

    Please don’t do or say anything to embarrass Balloon Juice as it is listed as the #1 web site responsible (lookin’ at you, Bouncing Boy) and some of those folks are bound to come over here today. I should probably take down the Glenn ads, huh?

    The direct link to the 12 semi-finalists.

  118. 118.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Laura W:

    and some of those folks are bound to come over here today

    Oh shit, and here I am with butter stains all over my wifebeater. Oh well, consider the source, I always say. You really can’t expect better out of a fuckhead.

  119. 119.

    Napoleon

    OH NO

    Bitsy is up against two Pomeranians. I grew up with a Pom which was my bestest friend in the world.

  120. 120.

    GReynoldsCT00

    @Laura W:

    Um, yeah, Glenn ads should go… don’t want to give the wrong idea that the majority of the commentariat takes him seriously…personally I think BOB should vote for the good of animals regardless of Bitsy’s name…but I realize this was done in fun

  121. 121.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I’m really diggin’ Dr. Papidies Capin. Cute, AND a snappy dresser. I don’t wanna vote for him, I wanna hang out wid’ him and sniff the bitches.

    Can I say that?

  122. 122.

    jeffreyw

    @Cain:

    As a matter of fact, and appropriate to this thread, Mrs J will take a part time job at the local veterinarian clinic, and volunteer at a new pet shelter.

  124. 124.

    MikeJ

    I’m really diggin’ Dr. Papidies Capin. Cute, AND a snappy dresser.

    I think he’s dressed like Cory Doctorow. Is he in a balloon?

  126. 126.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Ash Can:

    I dunno, something about this contest just doesn’t smell quite right.

    I believe that’s dog poop yer smelling. Oh gods, I am totally embarassing now. What will Laura tell the children?

  128. 128.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I can hardly look at Jasper without gasping. What cynical bastard would enter a puppy with two heads and five legs into a cutest dog contest???

  129. 129.

    Steeplejack

    What the hell? That little pomeranian bastard is up 150-75 over Bitsy. This cannot stand.

  131. 131.

    Violet

    @Laura W: Yay for Little Bitsy! I feel so proud! All that hard work paid off!

    As for the next round, she’s running second to Rufus at the moment. Still needs votes.

    I’m totally digging that dog Dr. Papidies Capin. He looks like he rides in a sidecar with that getup.

    I wonder if Stephen Colbert will get wind of this contest. “Stephen Colbert el dos” is a semifinalist. Everyone else needs to watch out of the Colbert Nation gets asked to vote. LOL.

  133. 133.

    bystander

    Okay. Do I have this right?

    The Cutest Dog site says,

    # Top 4 finalists
    will be chosen by the judges. Influence the judges decision by voting on the 12 semi finalists and posting your opinions to our blog»

    So, I take that to mean (1) this is the end of the contest for Little Bitsy, (2) she is among the 12 semi-finalists, (3) the judges will select the final winner from among this group, (4) we should vote for her one last time at this LINK, and (5) pitch her case at the contest’s blog. That doing (4) and (5) will help influence the judges.

    ?????????????????

  134. 134.

    valdivia

    I can’t believe HuffPo. They have this headline now on the front page that is once again based on unnamed sources from last week and reading way to much into things (see Booman from yesterday for a better reading) and then they scream with these stupid headline intended to scare everyone. ugh.

  135. 135.

    MikeJ

    then they scream with these stupid headline intended to scare everyone.

    And because you didn’t tell us what the stupid was they got the click they wanted. I feel like I’ve been rick rolled.

    Please don’t feed the trolls, even when they run web sites and go on Maher’s show.

  137. 137.

    Jean

    Last night, it was only “an hour” left of voting, but then we adjusted for the time difference, and it was “three hours.” Now she’s “won,” but not really. And the voting continues.

    Maybe we should turn the site green like Sully’s until the election is decided. Arrrgh!

  138. 138.

    Laura W

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I don’t want to get off the couch, scoop the litter, do the dishes, shower, dress and drive an hour to work. I just wanna sit here all day and refresh to see what you’ll say and do next.

    Fortunately I can still do that once I get to work. I’ll be wearing a bra, however, which sort of harshes the whole mood.

  139. 139.

    valdivia

    @MikeJ:

    yes sorry my bad. Trollish it is, making it seem like Reid is the hero of the hour against that evil Obama. Just wow.

  141. 141.

    RedKitten

    @Laura W:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I don’t want to get off the couch, scoop the litter, do the dishes, shower, dress and drive an hour to work. I just wanna sit here all day and refresh to see what you’ll say and do next.

    Sounds like my day. It’s 11am, and I’m still in my oh-so-warm fleecy pink bathrobe. I have to clean out my car at some point today, and have no idea where I’m going to find the motivation.

  143. 143.

    AhabTRuler

    That’s because they aren’t hungover. :)

    Yeah, but we are making up the difference as soon as we crawl out of our puddles of sick! The lead has been cut to about 70 votes.
    I have put out a further call for Bitsy voters, involving those who I didn’t think had the stamina to make it through the endless rounds of early voting, so hopefully we can kick some pommy butt!

  144. 144.

    MikeJ

    @burnspbesq:

    He was born in bonny Scotland
    And he played the football game
    He came to Liverpool in ’59
    To help us win again
    Then with his mighty red army
    He marched to victory
    He was a legend in his time
    Our hero Bill Shankly

  146. 146.

    sylvia

    Seems the judges today want imput on the publics favorites – then they make the final decision on the top 4.
    Soooo – One more day to vote for Little Bitsy!!

    Thank you all for your daily support by voting, joking and keeping this fun!!

    Go Little Bitsy Go Get Rufus!!!

    Sylvia and Little Bitsy

  147. 147.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Sorry to drop out like that but I’ve been doing an investigation inside of Microsoft Paint. I believe Sammy and Stephen Colbert are the same dog. I used the Stretch/Skew tool to turn Sammy’s head to the right to compare against Stephen Colbert. I then zoomed in with the magnifying thingy to do a pixel by pixel comparison. Then someone they got painted blue and the stupid spray can won’t deselect so I can’t undo and the bartool thing is half on and half off the screen.

    But I’m on something here.

  149. 149.

    Violet

    @sylvia:

    Sylvia, we only vote for one day? That’s kind of crazy. Why’d the pick a Sunday for the “one vote” for the semi-finalists day?

  151. 151.

    Violet

    @Jean:
    I’ve already voted. But a lot of the folks I can round up to vote for Bitsy again won’t be available today. I’ll get their votes tomorrow through the week. But now that the link has changed for where to vote, I’m pretty sure they won’t go hunt for the new voting link without me prompting them.

  152. 152.

    Chris Johnson

    Bah, that Rufus isn’t anything like as cute as the other Pomeranian Jim Gordon.

    My own pick would be Mozart. Ain’t nothing as cute as a spaniel puppy, sorry.

    However, I am not voting for him- guess I’ll find out later if the judges agreed.

  154. 154.

    Rob

    I didn’t know you lived in Brevard! I’m a daily reader of this blog and a frequent traveler to Brevard so I recognized the paper! :)

  155. 155.

    Comrade Mary

    Holy moley. LB is now about 300 votes ahead of Rufus (who looks like a totally sweet dog and I am not going to badmouth him. I’m just rooting for the Bits.) How did that happen? Did the Flylady contingent come in, or was it just some stealth Juicers? (And I see that Kevin at RumpRoast put up a reminder, too.)

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