Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

We still have time to mess this up!

T R E 4 5 O N

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

This really is a full service blog.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Good lord, these people are nuts.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

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154Comments

  3. 3.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    Wow. My first FIRST comment. Somehow it isn’t quite as satifying as I hoped.

    Anyway… thanks for the thread John. Nice of you to recognize that it isn’t all about you.

    Announcers just said that Seahawks are a proud franchise. Without any sense of irony. Priceless.

  6. 6.

    Corner Stone

    I have been unable to find the comment here from someone who said the Redskins were a “much better team” than the Texans but…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  7. 7.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Broncos at Ravens on my teevee today AND it looks like the Ravens will win despite the refs’ best efforts. Someone pinch me- could this really be happening?

  8. 8.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    @The Grand Panjandrum: I called the Giants flameout right after they got to 5-0. Wasn’t expecting them to drop 3 straight but I’ll take it. I despise all NY teams, but honestly the Jets top my hate list. It’s their fans I can’t abide. Punk ass bitches, each and every one (at least the ones I’ve met personally).

    I want the Jets to lose every game, go bankrupt, and be moved to LA.

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Congratulations to the Ravens. I don’t know which team is going to face these refs next week but I assure you they are going to be looking for some retribution.

  13. 13.

    Max

    I am not quite sure what happened to my Bills today. Sad.

    Very sad.

    Unbearably sad.

    Max about to be +1.

  14. 14.

    demkat620

    Announcers just said that Seahawks are a proud franchise. Without any sense of irony. Priceless.

    If this were true, they wouldn’t have agreed to those lime green jerseys.

  22. 22.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    @freelancer: Hey I’ve been trying to get into Mexican beer. Does anyone have suggestions. I kinda like Pacifico. Modelo is OK I guess. Dos Equis has great commercials but I don’t like the actual beer too much. Any ideas.

    @demkat620: I keep it real. John appreciates that.

  24. 24.

    licensed to kill time

    @Hookers and Cocaine:

    Negro Modelo FTW! Bohemia is right there, too, plus they are both higher in alcohol content. Corona is sucky green beer only drinkable with lime and salt. Pacifico, weak sauce.

  25. 25.

    Corner Stone

    @Hookers and Cocaine: Negro Modelo is pretty damned good.
    The rest can be summarize thusly: sucks balls.
    Anyone that tells you otherwise is not to be trusted. Unless…you like Tecate or Corona? Cuz if that’s the case you are beyond salvation.

  27. 27.

    Corner Stone

    @licensed to kill time: Ahhh, I’ve spent many a night by a campfire enjoying Negro Modelo. It’s the perfect beer with any open fire grilled food. Just can’t be beat.
    Even goes well with a nice Monte Cristo cigar after.

  28. 28.

    licensed to kill time

    @Corner Stone:

    Tecate is primarily useful if you break down by the side of the road in Mexico. You can fashion a pretty good reflector out of the red cans.

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    @licensed to kill time: I was thinking it would also be useful in the event you were stung by jellyfish.
    For those that don’t know, urine can be a neutralizer for the stinging effect. (as famousized by Friends in that one episode where Joey stepped up and did the deed).

  37. 37.

    Lyle4

    You all need to check this out. It’s the greatest website ever made for a political candidate in the history of the world. EVER.

    http://www.georgehutchins.com/

    Much better way to spend your time than gagging over all the Packers/Vikings garbage.

  38. 38.

    licensed to kill time

    @AhabTRuler: I brush my teeth with beer every day. It foams up real nice.
    Corona is the nectar of the gods.

    I think you mean the Piss of the Gods, sorry. Of course, at +19 any ole swill tastes like nectar.

  44. 44.

    Corner Stone

    @handy: They’re playing the absolutely abominable JaMarcus Russell and OAK.
    He’s 2 for 4 with an INT. How can you be damning the Chargers for that?
    JaMarcus sucks the bottomless pit of balls.

  47. 47.

    Svensker

    @Hookers and Cocaine:

    the Jets top my hate list. It’s their fans I can’t abide. Punk ass bitches, each and every one (at least the ones I’ve met personally). I want the Jets to lose every game, go bankrupt, and be moved to LA.

    Welcome, to Balloon Juice H&C. And fuck you. No offense.

  51. 51.

    burnspbesq

    We already have a quality football team in SoCal that wears green unis.

    It’s called Long Beach Poly.

    Why on earth would we want the Jets?

  53. 53.

    burnspbesq

    If you want to send us a football team from Jersey, all other things being equal we’d rather have Bergen Catholic.

  55. 55.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    When do the new BSC rankings come out?

    @Lyle4: This guy will be unstoppable in 2012. Just what the GOP needs to take back Ohio and Indiana.

  58. 58.

    Svensker

    @freelancer:

    Ahhh, there’s the warmth I’ve come to know on the island.

    Ha ha ha. But the Jets are really a Jersey team. Nothing to do with NY. Srsly.

  59. 59.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    @freelancer: Bill Hicks… it’s been a while. I used to wear out my Bill Hicks tapes back in high school. Haven’t listened to him in a while. I need to head over to Amazon and order his stuff on cd/dvd.

    R.I.P.

  61. 61.

    Corner Stone

    @Hookers and Cocaine:

    Corona is the nectar of the gods.
    …
    H&C +19

    I’ve thought about this and identified a few scenarios where this could be plausible.
    1. You drank the 12 you brought with you and are now sustaining on the mercy of the dole.
    2. You’re really broke and are at the mercy of the community cooler.
    3. You had your taste buds extracted for some military experiment.
    4. You are underage and your parents are gone for the weekend and left a case of Corona under the dusty tarp in the garage.

  62. 62.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    @freelancer: Oh come on. The most interesting man in the world ads are the best since real men of genius.

    You prefer the Coors Light “Ditka” commercials?

  66. 66.

    freelancer

    @Hookers and Cocaine:

    Oh, you like that campaign too? *sigh.

    @Corner Stone:

    This.

    It’s a not-so-subtle hint that Corona is evil when you need two things non beer related to drink it as recommended:

    1) A fucking crowbar to get the bottlecap off. Gluing it on isn’t a huge red flag?!

    2) Half of a stale bar lime.

  67. 67.

    Corner Stone

    @Hookers and Cocaine: I only suggest that because I did the same with a case of Heineken in the days before History began…
    Prior to marriage, one of the worst decisions I ever made. Then there was that whole “Bud Ice” fiasco. But the less said about that, the better.

  68. 68.

    jwb

    @asiangrrlMN: Born and raised in Minnesota. I just think any true Viking fan would realize rooting for Favre is just wrong, wrong, wrong—even if Favre is now wearing a Viking uniform. Otherwise you have to believe that a team is just a uniform, and where’s the fun in cheering for a brand? (Yeah, of course, I know that’s what we do, but, since in this case I can choose the illusion with little harm, I do.)

  71. 71.

    licensed to kill time

    Corona is the nectar of the gods.

    You know what else I always wondered about Corona? How the heck do they get all the rancid lime wedges and salt and cigarette butts out of the empty bottles? In Mexico all the bottles are “retornable” and thus re-used. So how do they get all the crud out? Something to ponder when you’re enjoying your Corona and lime.

  75. 75.

    demkat620

    Okay so, I’m watching the Iggles post game show. (I know but I like Ray Didinger)

    DeSean Jackson has 6 td’s of over 50 yards already this season. That is just sick.

    I think the kid can play a little.

  78. 78.

    Wayne

    I thought the Dolphins were playing the Steelers when I first tuned in. Why are the Jets wearing Steeler uniforms?

  79. 79.

    Brachiator

    I thought Philadelphia over the Giants would be the most lopsided TV game this Sunday.

    But Chargers v Raiders just might blow this wide open.

  80. 80.

    dfd

    As a Bears fan, I find myself ambivalent when it comes to these Vikings vs. Packers games.

    P.S.

    Miller High Life FTW

  82. 82.

    Svensker

    @Brachiator:

    I thought Philadelphia over the Giants would be the most lopsided TV game this Sunday.

    Too bad that McNabb is so overrated. He wouldn’t even be playing if he weren’t black, know what I’m sayin?

  83. 83.

    Ash

    @dfd: You actually drink Miller High life by choice? The only time I ever drank that stuff is when they had $1 drafts of it at the bar across from my apartment during college. It was good for getting drunk with the least amount of money possible, but not for much else.

  87. 87.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    @Kiril: Love the Saints. Cool unis… slutty cheerleaders… what’s not to like?

    I look forward to watching Dallas beat them (again) later in the year. It should lots of fun.

  89. 89.

    dfd

    @Ash: I’m not saying it’s the best beer evah!, but it beats the pants off of any other macro brew and the price helps.

  94. 94.

    ihop

    should i be scared that it is almost total darkness well before dinner time?

    does god hate the brettfavre?

  97. 97.

    Morbo

    Welcome to the Detroit Lions, new boss same as the old boss. Good heavens, Aaron Rodgers just can’t catch a break.

  105. 105.

    smiley

    @smiley: I should add that another Gators great, Emmitt Smith, also left early. He came back to finish his degree. I sorta doubt Harvin will.

  107. 107.

    Demo Woman

    @asiangrrlMN: The NYTimes Sunday Magazine ran a story about Michael Oher about 3 years ago. You can probably still find it online. Although I’m not a Sandra Bullock fan and I’m amazed that Tim McGraw is in it, I’m going to see it.

  114. 114.

    Demo Woman

    @asiangrrlMN: They were filming the movie in Atlanta this summer. It’s unfortunate because it’s a sweet story and the movie sounds like it is made for the Life Time channel.

  115. 115.

    AhabTRuler

    but there is a question mark when I hover over PCP.

    So should there be for us all.

    However, in the main, there is a question mark that hovers over any word written in ALL CAPS. I think there is some alt text script that you can use to define acronyms, but I’ll be buggered if I know how it works.

  123. 123.

    gbear

    My younger sister & hubby who live near Green Bay, WI were in St. Paul this weekend. We were going to get together at my older sister’s house to watch the Packers/Vikes game, but younger sister came down with the flu so they had to get back home. Turns out my older sister, her husband and all of her kids are just getting over varying states of flu (the flu has been just brutal in the Twin Cities this week), but older sister told me I could still come over to watch the game anyway. I told her thanks but no thanks and took my new car out for a spin on this gorgeous fall day. Pitch black outside now at 5:30 but there’s a beautiful almost-full moon on the rise. Who won the game?

  148. 148.

    Hookers and Cocaine

    @Corner Stone: [email protected], dude. Yeah, just noticed the lack of NFLness on the slate tonight. And FTFY.

    But my friend works there and she just texted me to come see her, so I need to make an appearance.

    I don’t really need too much prodding to go and hang out with hot girls.

  149. 149.

    Kathy

    Away all afternoon for my little guy’s B’day (the go cart place was empty, imagine that, I can’t believe people in Philly have better things to do today:) Anyway, Mom time is over in Philly, my Iggles pwned the Giants, time to FTFY and open up a can of whoop ass!
    Kathy +2 (low count after spending the afternoon go carting with a bunch of 9 year olds)

  153. 153.

    Ranger 3

    UCF with the exciting win over Marshall. Now what can they do against Texas next week. I bet on Boise State to win the BCS last time I was in Vegas (no, really, I did) and I could use some help with that.

    Go Knights!

  154. 154.

    Common Sense

    Texas wins by 30. Sorry Ranger. You should pull for LSU to pull the upset vs Bama and then knock off the Gators in the SEC Championship. Texas won’t lose in the regular season.

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