Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Not all heroes wear capes.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Wookin Pa Nub

Wookin Pa Nub

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Such a shame:

Sen. John Ensign has moved out of the C Street house, the Christian home he shared with other elected officials on Capitol Hill that came under scrutiny for its residents’ beliefs and practices and their role in trying to end the Nevada Republican’s affair with a campaign staff member.

The red brick town house emerged this summer as the subject of political intrigue — not only as a pivotal location in Ensign’s affair with Cynthia Hampton, but also that of South Carolina Republican Gov. Mark Sanford, who sought guidance there as he wrestled with his own affair.

Looks like there will be no more wetsuit optional Christian seksitime at the C street brothel for Senator Ensign, which means he will probably be really grumpy at the office tomorrow. Then again, since he apparently is into banging the hired help, maybe this just expands his opportunities.

Reader Interactions

61Comments

  1. 1.

    TenguPhule

    Looks like there will be no more wetsuit optional Christian seksitime at the C street brothel for Senator Ensign, which means he will probably be really grumpy at the office tomorrow.

    Who knows what evil now lurks in the heart of the toilet stalls?

    The Shadow knows.

  6. 6.

    MelodyMaker

    … because I’m in search of a new band name. Wookin Pa Nub isn’t it, but it sure rolls off the tongue!

  15. 15.

    Left Coast Tom

    That’s OK…the C-Street Sexytime Palace still has Bart Stupid, I mean Stupak (D-MI), among it’s residents. So there’s still someone out there fighting the good fight for Moral Righteousness while living in a Den Of Iniquity.

  16. 16.

    General Winfield Stuck

    I’m sure they will all sit around the campfire now hand in hand with baby jeebus for strength, followed by a rousing round of Indian Toe Wrestling.

  18. 18.

    Morbo

    role in trying to end cover up the Nevada Republican’s affair with a campaign staff member.

    There you go, Las Vegas Sun, fixed that for ya. Also, awesome title.

  19. 19.

    MelodyMaker

    yeah. the whole philosophy seems to be that rules are for the ruled and we rule, so lets get bizzay.

  20. 20.

    Violet

    Ensign probably hasn’t ever tried to make seksitime without having the C Street brothel available. He won’t know what to do. Book a hotel room? Bring a hooker home? What’s a pampered, enabled Republican Senator to do once his seksitime love pad is taken away?

  23. 23.

    The Saff

    Gawd but I hate John Ensign. Come to think of it, I hate most Rethuglicans. Buncha sleazy, self-serving, hypocritical bastards. They all deserve to rot in hell.

    And now they’re all concerned about deficits and how we can’t afford health care reform? What about green-lighting the fiasco that is the Iraq War to the tune of $1 trillion plus? $1.5 trillion tax cut for the uber-wealthy? Billions of dollars to the drug companies in 2003?

    If they despise the government so much, why don’t they resign their offices and get the heck out of Dodge.

    Screw every last one of them.

    /rant over

  24. 24.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Isn’t that also on the Christianist Unapproved list?

    He may go blind, but then he’ll see.

  25. 25.

    Spork

    Since there is no Football open thread, I’m going w/ the OT:
    GO SEAHAWKS! ugly win, but a win is a win. One good thing about being in the worst division, always hope to crawl into the playoffs. Leave me alone, it’s all I’ve got.

  26. 26.

    Left Coast Tom

    @Violet: They don’t seem to object to boner pills for single radio commentators traveling to the Dominican Republic…I guess Christianists have somewhat malleable views of the things they approve of.

  27. 27.

    Violet

    @The Saff:

    If they despise the government so much, why don’t they resign their offices and get the heck out of Dodge.

    David Schuster made that point after Tom Tancredo walked off the set during the back and forth with Kos. Perhaps this point is a good one to keep hammering home. If the Republicans despise government so much, why don’t they just quit and go do something else? It certainly changes the discussion.

  29. 29.

    Scott H

    Heavens, these creeping pathetics, skulking and groping around the scullery. Can’t we once get a little manly misbehavior with at minimum a viscountess? I’d settle for an atheist in a decent suit and an honest tan.

  30. 30.

    JenJen

    No football threads on non-Steelers Sundays? No AFC North love at all?

    Also, lots of guidance is sought at the C Street House, apparently. Guidance. Lots of it.

  32. 32.

    The Saff

    @Violet: That video was a thing of beauty.

    Like the Balloon Juice commentariat regularly point out, nobody in the media calls these assholes out on anything.

  35. 35.

    Anoniminous

    Let’s get Teh Whoopie© OUT of the C street house and back into airport toilets where it belongs.

  37. 37.

    jl

    OT, but it is my ‘what up, big tent party?’ watch, day two:

    Right-Wing Unleashes Racism on Rep Cao
    http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2009/11/right-wing-unleashes-racism-on-rep-cao.php

    I will get bored with it, so this is probably the first and last installment. Especially since somebody said Cao was the perfct wishy washy nonentity in a CNN interview (but, more reason to think he would be a good Blue Dog, then).

    I will go see if I can find that interview on youtube.

    As for Ensign, I don’t know what to say. Hope he can keep out of trouble, since he seems helpless. I have compassion, even for GOPers.

    I still have a hard time believing what I have read about his messes, but I guess they are true. I half expected to read that somebody had to pin notes to his lapel, in case he got mixed up.

  38. 38.

    geg6

    This is the best thread title EVAH, Mr. Cole. That is all, except to say fuck Mike Doyle (D-PA), another C Streeter, too.

  39. 39.

    MelodyMaker

    @The Saff:

    Your argument works, but they have a point of view that is represented in congress. Reagan’s inaugural. mhm
    and screw them, as you said.
    Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck, or something like that.

  41. 41.

    MelodyMaker

    Sry. I thought that might.
    It’s from Dire Straits’ “Money for Nothing” chicks for freee

  43. 43.

    Nutella

    Stupak lives in the hot-sheet hotel on C Street? The same Stupak who insisted that the HCR bill be so moral and clean that it won’t deal with the unfortunate consequences of the activities that those legislators are doing in the C Street house? That Stupak?

  48. 48.

    Comrade Darkness

    Ensign? which is he again? Someone needs to issue player cards with vitals on the back for these guys. There are too many to keep straight.

    Republican Playas, collect the whole set!

  49. 49.

    MelodyMaker

    @Comrade Darkness:
    Dark, I’m gonna go ahead and be optimistic:
    Shitwits and liars will be shown to be what they are because their statements are on the record like never before. That’s f’n funny if you’re me.

  52. 52.

    parksideq

    OT, but the Cleveland show (the Family Guy spinoff) just did the BEST takedown of those creepy ass purity balls where Christianist dads make their daughters pledge their virginity to them. Long story short, it rips apart the double standard that women who have sex are whores, but dudes can be actual whores without consequence.

    Looking back, maybe it’s not as OT as I thought.

  54. 54.

    r€nato

    since he apparently is into banging the hired help, maybe this just expands his opportunities.

    maybe he and ex-ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips should get together and form their own ‘Christian home’…

  56. 56.

    SFAW

    I think she was just a staffer. Or the wife of one.

    General –

    I think you misunderstood. They said she was “on his staff”.

    There’s a difference.

  57. 57.

    General Winfield Stuck

    They said she was “on his staff”.

    Yes, whoever said puns are the lowest form of humor didn’t follow politics.

  58. 58.

    SFAW

    Yes, whoever said puns are the lowest form of humor didn’t follow politics.

    Please forgive me for correcting you, but that’s not a pun.

    I don’t know if Spider Robinson still does it – I don’t even know if he’s still writing – but there were more than a few in his “Callahan’s” series. One that I can recall has the punchline: “Middle lamb, you’ve had a dizzy Bey”. (Explaining it would take too long.)

    I wish I were smart enough to come up with good puns.

  59. 59.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Please forgive me for correcting you, but that’s not a pun.

    We should take a pole.

  60. 60.

    KLG

    This IS the best thread title evah! But this is also from when SNL was second-best. 1975-1980 will never be surpassed. But I guess you had to be there. Jane, you ignorant…land shark.

    John, just how is it that you used to be a GOPer? That is something I’ll never understand.

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