Ambinder’s never going to top “iatropic excitement”, but he gives it a try here. (Via lots of other bloggers.)
For those who don’t want to read the link, I’ll give a shorter: Sarah Palin can’t win a national election now but she will be able to if she reads a few books over the next couple years.
licensed to kill time
__
Wait – she’s a drunk, too?!
dmsilev
What a disjointed mess. The editor in me wants to take that post and start crossing out whole chunks.
Ow.
-dms
jeffreyw
If I was smarter and more focused and lots of people liked me and I had lottsa money I could win a national election if I also gave a shit.
valdivia
Marc put down whatever you are smoking (which is clearly not of the same quality as whatever Sulli is smoking) before you ever attempt this kind of analysis ever again. He sounds like he took out all hit lit crit readings fro college to write this.
El Cid
I could probably think about several acquisitions of major Wall Street firms if I would just make several billion dollars over the next few months.
schrodinger's cat
By that logic, DougJ, you should run for President, I am sure you have read more than a few books, and you can also solve differential equations.
I have a question, why are most of our Presidents lawyers, why not some scientists, engineers, mathematicians? I wonder..
Zifnab
Absolutely. I say run her fast and run her hard.
MondalePalin ’12!MoeLarryAndJesus
No need to get fancier than “dysfunctional douchebag.”
freelancer
adverb fail. And what does “Pornographically Attentive” even MEAN?! Is Marc in a lowball contest with Tom Friedman?
Ash
I believe that Josh Marshall at TPM said all that needs to be said.
calipygian
I, like most people, immediately thought of Hans Robert Jauss when I read that and got iatropic excitement all over my pants.
freelancer
@calipygian:
Fuck you I was typing this joke! (Okay, okay, I thought Ambinder was a dead ringer for Jaques Derrida.)
beltane
I can’t be an Olympic skier now but maybe if I start taking a few skiing lessons, I’ll be ready for the 2018 Olympics.
El Cid
All of you are sexist.
nepat
It’s more than that. He’s calling for a total personality transplant. If Palin can become Margaret Thatcher, she just might have a shot!
Midnight Marauder
@El Cid:
And just like that, a glorious new meme was born…
schrodinger's cat
I think Ambinder is trying to win Sullivan’s Poseur Alert award
Alan
Books like Rush Limbaugh’s and NRO’s writers’ and listens to conservative talk radio for 15 hours a day. She’ll be the perfect candidate.
schrodinger's cat
@El Cid:
But are we sexy?
eemom
and the nightmare continues.
I’m not as well acquainted with “Sully” as the rest of y’all seem to be, but if he comes up with something that will bring this despicable woman down I will TOTALLY marry him and bear his child.
Yes, even though he’s gay and I’m too old for any more childbearing and my husband would flip out. THAT is how much I want her gone.
freelancer
@schrodinger’s cat:
you betcha
Ash Can
He already has invented her, many times over. Ruthless grifters with more looks than brains are a dime a dozen, and that includes the small percentage of them who get (and, in this case, long overstay) their fifteen minutes of fame.
Xanthippas
That’s not what he says. Specifically, he says this:
joes527
@dmsilev: My god. Her (ghostwriter’s) bad writing is a virus. AND IT IS SPREADING!!!
beltane
@freelancer: That is a fine sample of Beat poetry, like “Coney Island of the Mind” for the pundit set.
schrodinger's cat
Sounds like an oxymoron in the current Republican Party
MattF
I have, in my life, known some smart women– I have also, in my life, known some stupid women. And after much trial and error, many hardships and joys– I can, at long last, tell the difference.
Comrade Scrutinizer
@Ash: Even better, this from Connor in the comments section:
__
Comrade Dread
Once Bob Dole reads from the Necronomicon, the soul of Reagan shall rise and take control of the body of Palin to combine his optimistic skilled oratory with boobs.
Then mankind would become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy.
Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom.
Xanthippas
But I do agree that’s some pretty bad writing, even by interweb standards. That last paragraph was the only one I clearly understood.
Comrade Scrutinizer
@Comrade Scrutinizer: Pretend I had an edit key and phixed the blockquote problem.
MikeJ
If we had some ham we could have ham and eggs, if we had some eggs.
Martin
Perhaps if she looks at the moon more regularly over the next few years she’ll also be qualified to be an astronaut.
(Apologies to Redkitten)
El Cid
How many books would Sarah be allowed to read before she became an East Coast ay-leetist all concerned with ‘facks’ instead of using her guts?
jenniebee
If I had a different body type and was in fantastic shape and had trained for years and was twenty years younger, I could be the prima ballerina of the Bolshoi in a couple of years if I was also Russian.
Hey, this works like a charm!
I’m reading Going Rogue right now. It isn’t word salad, but the paranoia is strong with this one. She is always but always anticipating that people won’t like what she has to say or what she wants to do. Which isn’t surprising, because she’s exactly the kind of person who, the more exposure you have to her, the more reasons she gives you not to like her. I just got to the part where, as Mayor of Wasilla, she asked all of her staff for “letters of resignation to keep on file in the event that [she] decided to replace” them. Then she explains that the request was a test to see who was a “team player” and who wasn’t.
Personally, if someone made that request of me, I’d write it up for them, but tell them not to bother to file it, I’d sent it to the press as well, have a nice day.
Midnight Marauder
@Xanthippas:
I’m not sure who you’re comment is directed at, but I don’t see anyone here saying that anything Ambinder wrote is “controversial.” I’m also not sure what the difference is between the interpretation you’re advancing and what DougJ said at the top (assuming that is who you are referring to).
calipygian
That is really dickish and indicative of someone with really, really shitty leadership skills.
schrodinger's cat
@Martin:
If she took Physics for Poets, she could become the next Einstein!
joes527
@calipygian:
Oooo! oooo! I know that one!
That was a clear demonstration that Sarah is not a team player.
Martin
Ah, so as she says, she didn’t fire the librarian and police chief, she just forced them to give her a letter of recommendation to put on file which she then pulled out and accepted at her convenience. See, they resigned!
freelancer
@schrodinger’s cat:
Is the Red Planet of Mars like the Crimson Eye of Cerebus?
Thadeus Horne
@calipygian: I thought of Greasy Vasolino..and…and ..uh….Largo Vatch. Do you remember those guys?
El Cid
Nobody, but nobody, does pre-emptive preparatory searching for any possible minor suggestion that somebody somewhere might be slightly dismissive of us or our every tiniest preference as a frighteningly serious grievance as us Southerners, at least our whiny ‘lost cause’ white Southerner division. Hell, that’s been half of our national culture war politics for the last century.
Joshua Norton
I doubt that she’s even read her own book yet.
Delia
What the bloody hell does this even mean? Near as I can tell, that Ambinder still remembers that he read Voltaire in his freshman seminar and thinks he can throw a few names and semi-quotations around to catch George Will’s attention.
Thadeus Horne
@El Cid: You sound like BoB.
Martin
@Delia:
Shorter Ambers: Hey! I know much bigger words than this ditz, where’s my VP nomination and book advance?
handy
@Thadeus Horne:
Really I thought El Cid was doing a Puma impression.
Leelee for Obama
Ambers has, how you say, jumped the proverbial shark. Even if Sarahcuda reads real, college-level poli-sci and economics non-stop for the next 2 years, she will still be dumber than a bag of hammers, because she doesn’t let silly little things like facts get in the way of her ideology. She learned that from St. Ronnie of Raygun, too. Also.
Thadeus Horne
@beltane: I suppose…but please don’t equate Lawrence with sarah.
'Niques
I said a long time ago I hoped she’d had a fit with her ghostwriter (perfectly plausible), whose payback would be to add something scathing (but true) somewhere around page 350. Most of her fans won’t get that far. Sarah, herself, won’t have read it. But eventually someone like Sully will make the discovery and broadcast it for all the world to hear.
Just a fantasy of mine.
Delia
@Leelee for Obama:
I think she’s way dumber than St. Ronnie. Ronnie had the discipline to stay on target long enough to finish a movie, which is something. He could also memorize lines and act like a President, at least until the Alzheimer’s started to kick in. This more than Our Sarah can do.
Thadeus Horne
@Comrade Dread: I like that! Especially the boobs part.
valdivia
Oh Oh Sulli posted an update, he says there is no big wow there, just a better understanding of the birthing thing.
All this waiting for that? I haz a sad.
Nutella
And if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
It’s Ambinder who’s dumber than a sack of hammers.
Yesterday he told us all that all biological scientists are atheists except a few who are Deists, because evolution demands loss of belief in God. This would be a big surprise to the many Christian, Hindu, etc. biological scientists, but only if their standards were so low that they waste time reading Ambinder.
When I think of all the smart, knowledgeable journalism grads who are unemployed while this idiot babbles away in the Atlantic, I could cry.
Leelee for Obama
@Delia: I wasn’t comparing their intellects. Reagan was orders of magnitude smarter than Sarah. Admittedly, the starting point is low, but still. No, my point was that she is ineducable, because facts and truth mean nothing to her if they are counter to her ideology. GWB was the same-I know he was a legacy Yalie and his MBA from Harvard was a joke, but you’d think just being on the campuses might have changed something, but no, not a thing. He admitted as much to his Professor at Harvard.
Max
Can we have a Palin-free, Top Chef open thread around 7pm Pacific?
Go Kevin!
Origuy
Someone needs to tell Ambinder that the Bulwer-Lytton Contest is only for fiction, not political commentary. Oh, wait….
shortstop
It’s not just dumb of Ambinder; it’s wildly unoriginal. Since late August/early September 2008, various people have been assuring us that if Sarah just hunkers down and bones up, she’ll be ready for the Big Time. In that 15-month period, has she finished reading so much as a People article?
Wile E. Quixote
@Delia
I now have a mental image of Ambinder trying to coyly romance George Will by dropping references to Voltaire in his columns. I’m not blaming this on you. I just wonder what the fuck is wrong with my brain that makes me think of things like this.
Indeed Cat on a Hot Tin Roof comes to mind with Marc Ambinder as Brick saying “One man has one great good true thing in his life. One great good thing which is true! I had friendship with George Will. You are namin’ it dirty!”
Yeah, I need help, or more painkillers, or less, or something.
Shell
So, you get somebody to be a team player by making them think they could be canned any minutue?
That’s like trying to ensure your spouse’s love by telling them you could divorce anytime.
Thadeus Horne
@El Cid: Wow! That’s heavy….I think?
J.D. Rhoades
@schrodinger’s cat:
Lawyers have to think a lot about laws, the policy behind them, and the consequences thereof.
Litlebritdifrnt
The fact that anyone is still taking this grifter seriously is just amazing to me. Her inability to run as a candidate for anything other than “Miss most likely to start WWIII” is clear to anyone with at least a couple of functioning brain cells. To hear El Rushbo lauding her (ghost written) book to be “one of the most substantive policy books written in my lifetime” (paraphrasing), makes me finally come to the conclusion that Rush is performance art, much like Stephen Colbert. There can be no other explanation for it, particularly when he follows such thoughts with a rant about Obama being “out of his depth” and “inexperienced” and “in over his head”. (I listen to this dickhead so you don’t have to tag). It is my most treasured wish that Bible Spice is the Republican nominee for 2012, with Bachman as her VP nod. I pray to the FSM every night for such a thing.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
@schrodinger’s cat:
We had a brilliant nuclear engineer for president. He turned out to be History’s Greatest Monster™. Please try to keep up.
Thadeus Horne
@handy: You could be right. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.
Roger Moore
@schrodinger’s cat:
I think that a big chunk of it is that the mode of thought that makes somebody a successful engineer, scientist, or mathematician tends to make them ineffective as a politician. We’ve had two presidents who were trained as engineers, Herbert Hoover and Jimmy Carter, and both were deeply flawed at the dealing with people side of the political business. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. It’s a product of the technical mindset.
Thadeus Horne
@Nutella: You’re almost right. Ambrider + palin = seriously dumb.
Thadeus Horne
@shortstop: bones up. Heh, heh, he said bones up. heh!
Leelee for Obama
@Roger Moore: As the daughter of an engineer, I can tell you that they are generally not good with people unless tanked. Carter seems a humanist engineer, but I think it’s the farmer in him.
Thadeus Horne
@J.D. Rhoades: Ah…bullshit. I think it’s just because they’re a bunch of greedy little fucks.
Thadeus Horne
@Litlebritdifrnt: nah…she’s most likely to show you her clit five minutes after giving her a line of coke.
Wile E. Quixote
@The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
schrodinger's cat
@The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge:
You are right. I guess I was thinking of the recent Presidential elections, Obama, Clinton, Kerry, Gore all being lawyers. It seems like Democrats have nominated lawyers in the past few election cycles. My initial statement was overly generalized but there do seem to be more lawyers in politics then other professionals. Just an observation.
schrodinger's cat
@Wile E. Quixote:
Both Hoover and Carter were before my time, I guess I need to read more history.
Roger Moore
@Leelee for Obama: I wasn’t just pulling that claim out of a hat. My father is an engineer. I’m a scientist. I talk to other scientists all the time. I’ve dated scientists. I went to a Major League techie school. I know damn well that techies as a group just don’t think the way you have to think if you want to be a successful politician. It’s a career path that attracts rationalists who want the universe to be explicable, even if it’s not perfectly predictable. Mushy thinkers- who make up at least 90% of the general population- drive us up the wall. It’s not a good mindset for somebody whose career depends on dealing effectively with anyone other than other rationalists.
schrodinger's cat
@Roger Moore:
I thought you were James Bond.
asiangrrlMN
Oh my god. These threads are the best! Which brings me to a moral dilemma. All the threads mocking those who cover Palin have been sidesplitting. They have made me laugh out loud several times. This is a good thing. Yet, I loathe La Palina and just want her to go away. Yet, if she goes away, no more funnies to be made at her expense. Decisions, decisions.
Roger Moore
@schrodinger’s cat: No, that’s another Roger Moore. I’m also not the former editor of Dragon Magazine, the designer of APL\360, or a member of the Poker Hall of Fame. It’s amazing how many Roger Moores there are out there.
Marc
Ambinder: your references to Pangloss would look a lot more impressive if you could end a declarative statement with a goddamned period.
asiangrrlMN
By the way, thanks for the shorter, DougJ. Mighty appreciative.
@Ash: This is perfect. She’s an idiot. Nothing will change that.
asiangrrlMN
@asiangrrlMN: Or, mighty appreciated. Depends on how you look at it.
Martin
@asiangrrlMN:
Imagine the emotional benefits of 8 years of Palin running the country.
Well, maybe Redkitten and Sydney would see the humor in that…
cmorenc
@Schrodinger’s Cat:
Be careful what you wish for here. The following US Presidents had engineering degrees:
– Herbert Hoover
– Jimmy Carter
The following foreign president had a medical degree and was a practicing psychiatrist:
-Radovan Karovic (of Bosnian Serbian infamy).
Of ALL the US Presidents so far, the ONLY one with any plausible claim to being a bona fide scientist (back in the day when no formal credentials in such were usually required or even available):
-Thomas Jefferson.
But since Jefferson was ALSO a lawyer back in those Renaissance man days, he’s sort of on probation as a scientist.
cmorenc
I’d also point out as a further contemporary example that having extensive science-oriented training is NOT necessarily much insulation at all from adopting and holding dear wacked-out regressive anti-science grounded political views.
– Ron Paul, M.D.
– Tom Coburn, M.D.
Ian
treacly?
brantl
What the hell does iatropic mean, anyway? I went to dictionary.com and it isn’t even there.
mandarama
@brantl:
Duh, it means Marc Ambinder is Very Smart!
(actually, I think it means the symptoms / impetus that send one to seek medical help–i.e., “I find the iatropic effect of reading Marc Ambinder to be debilitating.”)
Xanthippas
Well, the difference is that Ambinder doesn’t say what DougJ says he does. I like media criticism, but I also like accuracy.
bjacques
@cmorenc/85:
You forgot Dr. Senator Bill Frist.
I think Tyrebiter up there is saying that Sarah Palin appeals to the better Panglossian archangels of our nature.
licensed to kill time
A panglossian archangel stole my reply arrow and I want it back, the better to shoot revanchists.