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You are here: Home / Sports / This Is For You, JenJen

This Is For You, JenJen

by John Cole|  November 22, 20097:20 pm| 78 Comments

This post is in: Sports

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ocho Oh Noh!

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78Comments

  1. 1.

    donnah

    November 22, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Jen, I’m a Bengals fan, too.

    goddammit!!!

  2. 2.

    Crusty Dem

    November 22, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Congratulations to the Steelers and Bengals on their simultaneous suckitude.

    Go Oilers!

  3. 3.

    Demo Woman

    November 22, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    John Cole once again proves that misery loves company….. TeeHeeHee!
    So what are the chances that Mr. Tunch will be photo shopped with a hoodie?

  4. 4.

    JenJen

    November 22, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Well, like everyone else, I’m gonna blame the Curse of Ocho Tuncho.

    Every AFC North team lost today. Our division FTL!

  5. 5.

    Bill H

    November 22, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Raiders over the Bengals, Chiefs overs the Steelers, Cowboys beat the Redskins by 7-6… How pathetic is it that the Ravens make seven, count them, seven trips in the red zone and can manage nothing better than five freaking field goals?

    Meanwhile, The Chargers are 7-3 and lead the AFC West.

  6. 6.

    Ryan Cunningham

    November 22, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Jesus Christ that was awful. At least KC looked impressive this weekend. Their offense made some spectacular plays.

    The Bengals loss was just embarrassing. No excuses.

  7. 7.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 22, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    @JenJen: At least we lost to a good team.

  8. 8.

    JenJen

    November 22, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Oh, and your Xmas present is in the mail.

  9. 9.

    Comrade Mary

    November 22, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    So Jen, if you need ideas, try this.

    (Sorry. The temporary humiliation of pets, followed by their well-deserved revenge as they shit in your shoes, just warms the cockles of my heart.)

  10. 10.

    Perry Como

    November 22, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    @Crusty Dem: Don’t forget the Rams.

  11. 11.

    calipygian

    November 22, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    This is a much better version. It’s kind of like the Patton Oswald version.

  12. 12.

    JenJen

    November 22, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    OK, seriously, all chest-thumping and blustering and smack-talking aside… Did my Bengals really just lose to the Raiders? Really?

    So this is what it feels like, John. This.
    I think I understand now.

  13. 13.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 22, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    @JenJen: I empathize because I fucking hate the Raiders. Like no other team in the NFL.

  14. 14.

    jl

    November 22, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    @calipygian: Thanks. I bookmarked that one.

    But, the Raiduhs won? What.. how… where.. but.. I… WTF…

    And Kansas City beat the Stillers?

    That’s it. The NFL is fixed. They’re going WWE

    And then I see this on Yahoo sports:

    Iraqi detainees taunt Wisconsin soldiers about Brett Favre
    Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:01 pm EST
    http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Iraqi-detainees-taunt-Wisconsin-soldiers-about-B?urn=nfl,203985

    The post should have the ‘We are all Mayans now’ tag.

  15. 15.

    khead

    November 22, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    At least they had the decency to lose outright. If they are going to lose my $$$ by not covering the spread (-9), they should be as miserable about it as I am. The fumble @ about 12 min left in the 4th was a killer.

  16. 16.

    jl

    November 22, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    I used to be a Raiduhs fan. But now, it is just beyond me to care much.

    I think it happened when they were in LA. I went to a few games. The fan base was stark raving mad.

    I remember a section that wore shithead hats: nice peaked piles of brown shit, with flies above jiggling around on little wires.

    And SF lost to Greenbay.

  17. 17.

    cj

    November 22, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    Dang! What is all this hatred towards the Raiders?

    Don’t hate the nation, babe.

    Also……RAIDERS~,RAIDERS~. ;p

  18. 18.

    jl

    November 22, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    @cj: I don’t exacly hate my crazy old uncle and his family with various abuse and severe codependency problems. I just don’t to talk about them very much, and try to stay out of pictures with them. That’s all.

  19. 19.

    Max

    November 22, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    Raider fans are the worst. And I live in Oakland and can see the stadium from my upstairs, so I have a frame of reference.

    The Black Hole is a frightening place.

  20. 20.

    Robertdsc-iphone

    November 22, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    LOL @ John.

    The Pats won and that’s OK.

  21. 21.

    mcd410x

    November 22, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    You can’t stop Bruce Gradkowski!!

    Well, ok, usually you can.

  22. 22.

    woody

    November 22, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    All’s I can say is:

    Laissez l’bon Temps roulez!

    10-0? And they’ve got a pretty soft sked til the playoffs’ with likely a bye to the second round?

    Amazing Aints!!!

  23. 23.

    Comrade Jake

    November 22, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Arguably the strangest thing that happened today was Brady Quinn throwing 4 TDs. Browns still lost, but wtf?

  24. 24.

    dfd

    November 22, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Bear Down Chicago Bears!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG8OpQyY6TI

  25. 25.

    demkat620

    November 22, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    @woody: Yeah the Saints could run the table.

    How high a scoring SB could that be? Manning vs Brees?

    Two undefeated teams?

  26. 26.

    Morbo

    November 22, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    @Comrade Jake: I told you.

    Or aat least the worst secondary this year.

  27. 27.

    Grisha

    November 22, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    THE GRADKOWSKI ERA HAS BEGUN

  28. 28.

    Turgidson

    November 22, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    How many INTs will Cutler throw tonight? I say 3. We almost just had one in the first drive.

  29. 29.

    South of I-10

    November 22, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    @woody: Who dat?

  30. 30.

    D-Chance.

    November 22, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    I miss the old-school NFL films, when you could catch that and other “official” themes every week as Sabol intoned the commentary for the half-hour program recapping the prior week’s highlights, or featured the Game of the Week.

  31. 31.

    Comrade Jake

    November 22, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    @demkat620:

    I just want one team to run the table, so we can all stop hearing about the goddamn fucking 72 Dolphins.

  32. 32.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    November 22, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    @Comrade Mary: Jay-sus! I have 0 artistic ability, but that site had me howling.

  33. 33.

    demkat620

    November 22, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    @Comrade Jake: I’d like to see it be the Saints. Be nice for something really sweet to happen for that city.

  34. 34.

    paradox

    November 22, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Gradkowski went to Toledo. Just as a fokkin’ fyi, I don’t know where it is, either.

    There’s one in Ohio, but it could be a Toledo anywhere, seriously.

    Go Raiders. Go Al. Oh yeah.

  35. 35.

    dfd

    November 22, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    @Turgidson: I’m going to remain optimistic and say that Cutler limits it to one pick while Olsen and Knox each get a touchdown tonight.

  36. 36.

    paradox

    November 22, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    By the way, who broke that 72 Dolphin streak?

    Wait for it…..

  37. 37.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    @demkat620: Ditto, that. I would love for it to be the Saints.

    And, yay Vikes? Yutsano, honey? You out there? Got your apron on?

  38. 38.

    Midnight Marauder

    November 22, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    @Comrade Jake:

    Arguably the strangest thing that happened today was Brady Quinn throwing 4 TDs. Browns still lost, but wtf?

    Many would say that’s business as usual for the Cleveland Browns.

  39. 39.

    demkat620

    November 22, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    Well, I think we may all be able to agree that this Desean Jackson kid can play a little.

    Kid’s quick.

  40. 40.

    Cain

    November 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    Can we have an open thread please? I want to talk about this raw story about bumper stickers saying “Pray for Obama:Psalm 109:8”. Money quote:

    “The situation that I find genuinely frightening right now,” Schaeffer explained, “is that you have a ramping up of biblical language … and what it’s coalescing into is branding Obama … as ‘not us.’ … Now he joins the ranks of the unjust kings of ancient Israel … who should be slaughtered, if not by God then by just men.”

    If you look it up, the quote is fucked up. Jeez.. everyone of those people should be investigated if they have that bumper sticker. Link is here

    cain

  41. 41.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    @Cain: I read that. It’s truly frightening, especially since they can’t see how much they resemble the Muslim extremists they so decry.

  42. 42.

    demkat620

    November 22, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    @demkat620: And no sooner do I say that and he fumbles. Nice!

  43. 43.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    By the way, Cole, you’re a sore loser.

  44. 44.

    International Playboy

    November 22, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    As you all by now are aware, the Dallas Cowboys won yet another NFL game, with an impressive victory over a tough Redskins team.

    The Pittsburgh Steelers, however, disgraced themselves with an embassing loss to the woeful Chiefs. It is past time to acknowledge that the Steelers are in need of an intervention. They are clearly horrible, but many of their fans actually believe the Steelers to be a quality organization, citing Super Bowl wins as evidence to support this dubious claim. This is delusional.

    One criticism of the tournament method of determining champions is that you don’t always get the best teams in the final. Upsets can only mediocre teams like the Seahawks or the Cardinals to sneak in, giving a team like the Steelers a layup win in a game that is supposed to be a true test of greatness. Of course the Steelers actually came close to losing against those cupcakes, but that’s another story. The fact is they should never have gotten such pushover opponents in the first place. The BCS has been rightly criticised for it’s undemocratic nature, and it probably isn’t a good fit for college football. So many teams competing for a single prize requires a tournament to give each team a fair chance. But the NFL would possibly benefit from such a system. Certainly, we would avoid any more atrocities such as Super Bowl XL.

    At any rate, I would say the jury is in on Ben Rothlisgoober. He blows goats. He should be selling cars. He’d be good at it, no one would suspect that anyone that goofy would be capable of ripping them off.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

  45. 45.

    International Playboy

    November 22, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    @demkat620: Yes, absolutely. The Eagles have a few talented athletes, in fact.

    Which is why it is so disturbing that they would see it necessary to sign a psychopath who gets off on torturing puupies.

  46. 46.

    Steeplejack

    November 22, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I empathize because I fucking hate the Raiders. Like no other team in the NFL.

    Amen. Ever since they made my mama cry because of the cheap-shot way they beat up Joe Willie Namath.

  47. 47.

    Karen

    November 22, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    With the exception of the Colts, the games today all sucked. The RAIDERS won????

    Denver isn’t any better off than before Shanahan was fired. He could produce the same stinking results that McDaniels is gettingnow. Their loss today was totally expected. It’s what they’ve done for the past 3 or 4 years.

  48. 48.

    Steeplejack

    November 22, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Who dat? Who dey?! Dey dat.

  49. 49.

    Zoogz

    November 22, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    Watching the local Detroit news…. and the Lions victory — taking them from 1-8 to 2-8 — leads the broadcast.

    What’s it like to root for a good team? One that doesn’t go 2-24 through the last two seasons?

  50. 50.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    @International Playboy: Amen to that.

    @Zoogz: It’s kinda strange for me. I am waiting for the Vikes to implode the way they always do.

  51. 51.

    Steeplejack

    November 22, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Amen. Bush move, Cole. You could have waited a day after you made good on your bet.

  52. 52.

    Zoogz

    November 22, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    @asiangrrlMN: Must be double-plus strange hoping for Favre to do well. At least I can continue hating him and feel happy that I’m finally not the only one.

  53. 53.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    @Zoogz: Yeah. I don’t care for Favre (too much of a diva), and I keep waiting for him to implode, but I have to admit he’s doing a really good job so far.

  54. 54.

    Steeplejack

    November 22, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Bob Costas made a good point during halftime of the night game about overtime rules. Namely, that the range and consistency of kickers has increased dramatically since the sudden-death rule was instituted. During the game, a field goal is a partial victory for the defense because the offense was denied a touchdown, but in sudden death it’s game over–and sometimes season over for the losing team.

    Among several possibilities, Costas mentioned the one I like: each team gets one possession in OT, then it’s sudden death. This would give the team losing the coin toss a chance to answer the other team gingerly inching down the field and then kicking a long three.

  55. 55.

    Svensker

    November 22, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    That’s a real creative Raiders’ video. I used to like me some raiders when I lived in L.A. — those were the Lyle Alzado (sp?) days. Huddle!

    Now I got the Jets. Poop.

    OT — but has anyone seen Gen. W. Stuck? I don’t think he’s been around since he got all riled up the other day and a few of us got into an ear pullin’ contest. I miss him. Er, well, meant to say, where the heck is that gol durned varmint?

  56. 56.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    @Svensker: No, haven’t seen him. I hope he’s just taking a breather. I miss him, too.

    @Steeplejack: Or that they have to go for a touchdown rather than a field goal.

  57. 57.

    Josh

    November 22, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    Kinda sounds like the theme song from Conan…

  58. 58.

    lost in GA

    November 22, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    John, Schadenfruede cuts both ways. My Ravens set what must be a record for red zone ineptitude.

  59. 59.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 22, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    @lost in GA: No, they weren’t getting to the red zone.

  60. 60.

    Steeplejack

    November 22, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I don’t like that alternative because it limits strategy. Maybe a coach thinks a field goal is all his weak offense can muster (e.g., star quarterback got knocked out in the fourth quarter) but he believes his defense can hold the opponent on their drive.

    Simplest is best: You won the coin toss. Do whatever you want. But the other guys get one drive to answer.

    P.S. And I don’t want to hear the argument about “Ooh, the game will run on too long!” That a 60-minute game typically takes over three hours is not the fault of overtime. It’s commercial breaks and the generally glacial pace of the game as currently run (by teams and officials). But we’re suddenly going to get all time-conscious in overtime?! Fuggedaboudit.

  61. 61.

    thomas Levenson

    November 22, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    @Comrade Mary: Win, win, win, win.

    Di-really-crappy-beer like substance-ium crystal powered dogships. Coke through the nose time.

  62. 62.

    Corner Stone

    November 22, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    @Svensker: Who?

  63. 63.

    Corner Stone

    November 22, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    I’m not sure WTF Cole is laughing about. The Bengals = Bungals, right? Yet they beat the Stillers twice, then the Stillers went on to lose gloriously to the Chiefs.
    The defending Superbowl Champs lost twice to the Bungals, then the G-D Chiefs.
    And anything Cinci does is hahahaha worthy how?

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    November 22, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Yeah. I don’t care for Favre (too much of a diva),

    Oh man…the potential here…naahhh…

  65. 65.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 22, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    @Corner Stone: Hey, if I was getting paid that kinda money, I would be a hell of a lot less of a diva. Plus, I just can’t stand the way the announcers kiss his ass no matter what he does. Retiring, unretiring, blah blah blah.

  66. 66.

    Paul

    November 23, 2009 at 12:03 am

    Yeah. I don’t care for Favre (too much of a diva),

    That reminds me of something a co-worker said when I reminded him that there is no “I” in team: “No, but there’s a ME…and an AT…as in look AT ME!”

  67. 67.

    Morbo

    November 23, 2009 at 12:10 am

    Hells yeah, Akers and McCoy come through with the points I needed. I’ll scrape out a win this week.

  68. 68.

    burnspbesq

    November 23, 2009 at 12:19 am

    And now for something completely different.

    Galaxy loses the MLS final to Real Godforsaken Salt Lake, on PKs.

    And as if that doesn’t hurt enough, the futbol gods decide to really twist the knife.

    RSL is coached by a former Duke player, Jason Kreis.

    The winning goal is scored by a former Duke player, Robbie Russell.

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

  69. 69.

    Paul

    November 23, 2009 at 12:20 am

    In all fairness, and all cognitive dissonance aside, Favre rocks…and I say this as a die-hard Packer fan. Although I have no doubt that the Vikings will implode at some point. White Whales and shit.

  70. 70.

    Yutsano

    November 23, 2009 at 12:35 am

    @asiangrrlMN: I have only one remaining question dear: do you want your cookies male or female? (And bonus points if you can get that without asking.)

  71. 71.

    ppcli

    November 23, 2009 at 1:11 am

    Eight years of living in Pittsburgh leaves a trace…

    When I heard the Raiders – Bengals score, in my mind’s ear I could just hear Myron Cope saying “Hmm..Hah! Back to the old Cinci Bungles. Oi!

  72. 72.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 23, 2009 at 1:13 am

    @Yutsano: Both, of course! Duh! Happy baking.

  73. 73.

    Yutsano

    November 23, 2009 at 1:17 am

    @asiangrrlMN: A dozen of each it shall be!

  74. 74.

    JenJen

    November 23, 2009 at 9:59 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Heh. :-)

  75. 75.

    JenJen

    November 23, 2009 at 10:02 am

    @Comrade Mary: Oh, that is AWESOME!

  76. 76.

    asiangrrlMN

    November 23, 2009 at 10:42 am

    @Yutsano: Guess which parts I’ll be eating first! Yum. Cookies baked with the salty tears of a crushed Seahawks’ fan. It doesn’t get better than that.

  77. 77.

    joypog

    November 24, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    The autumn wind is a raider….

  78. 78.

    Paul

    November 25, 2009 at 1:16 am

    @Morbo: @Paul:

    Maybe you had to be there.

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