This Is For You, JenJen by John Cole| November 22, 20097:20 pm| 78 CommentsThis post is in: SportsFacebookTweetEmailHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ocho Oh Noh!
Jen, I’m a Bengals fan, too.
Congratulations to the Steelers and Bengals on their simultaneous suckitude.
John Cole once again proves that misery loves company….. TeeHeeHee!
So what are the chances that Mr. Tunch will be photo shopped with a hoodie?
Well, like everyone else, I’m gonna blame the Curse of Ocho Tuncho.
Every AFC North team lost today. Our division FTL!
Raiders over the Bengals, Chiefs overs the Steelers, Cowboys beat the Redskins by 7-6… How pathetic is it that the Ravens make seven, count them, seven trips in the red zone and can manage nothing better than five freaking field goals?
Meanwhile, The Chargers are 7-3 and lead the AFC West.
Jesus Christ that was awful. At least KC looked impressive this weekend. Their offense made some spectacular plays.
The Bengals loss was just embarrassing. No excuses.
Just Some Fuckhead
@JenJen: At least we lost to a good team.
Oh, and your Xmas present is in the mail.
So Jen, if you need ideas, try this.
(Sorry. The temporary humiliation of pets, followed by their well-deserved revenge as they shit in your shoes, just warms the cockles of my heart.)
@Crusty Dem: Don’t forget the Rams.
This is a much better version. It’s kind of like the Patton Oswald version.
OK, seriously, all chest-thumping and blustering and smack-talking aside… Did my Bengals really just lose to the Raiders? Really?
So this is what it feels like, John. This.
I think I understand now.
Just Some Fuckhead
@JenJen: I empathize because I fucking hate the Raiders. Like no other team in the NFL.
@calipygian: Thanks. I bookmarked that one.
But, the Raiduhs won? What.. how… where.. but.. I… WTF…
And Kansas City beat the Stillers?
That’s it. The NFL is fixed. They’re going WWE
And then I see this on Yahoo sports:
Iraqi detainees taunt Wisconsin soldiers about Brett Favre
Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:01 pm EST
The post should have the ‘We are all Mayans now’ tag.
At least they had the decency to lose outright. If they are going to lose my $$$ by not covering the spread (-9), they should be as miserable about it as I am. The fumble @ about 12 min left in the 4th was a killer.
I used to be a Raiduhs fan. But now, it is just beyond me to care much.
I think it happened when they were in LA. I went to a few games. The fan base was stark raving mad.
I remember a section that wore shithead hats: nice peaked piles of brown shit, with flies above jiggling around on little wires.
And SF lost to Greenbay.
Dang! What is all this hatred towards the Raiders?
Don’t hate the nation, babe.
@cj: I don’t exacly hate my crazy old uncle and his family with various abuse and severe codependency problems. I just don’t to talk about them very much, and try to stay out of pictures with them. That’s all.
Raider fans are the worst. And I live in Oakland and can see the stadium from my upstairs, so I have a frame of reference.
The Black Hole is a frightening place.
LOL @ John.
The Pats won and that’s OK.
You can’t stop Bruce Gradkowski!!
Well, ok, usually you can.
All’s I can say is:
10-0? And they’ve got a pretty soft sked til the playoffs’ with likely a bye to the second round?
Arguably the strangest thing that happened today was Brady Quinn throwing 4 TDs. Browns still lost, but wtf?
Bear Down Chicago Bears!!!
@woody: Yeah the Saints could run the table.
How high a scoring SB could that be? Manning vs Brees?
Two undefeated teams?
@Comrade Jake: I told you.
Or aat least the worst secondary this year.
THE GRADKOWSKI ERA HAS BEGUN
How many INTs will Cutler throw tonight? I say 3. We almost just had one in the first drive.
South of I-10
@woody: Who dat?
I miss the old-school NFL films, when you could catch that and other “official” themes every week as Sabol intoned the commentary for the half-hour program recapping the prior week’s highlights, or featured the Game of the Week.
I just want one team to run the table, so we can all stop hearing about the goddamn fucking 72 Dolphins.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Comrade Mary: Jay-sus! I have 0 artistic ability, but that site had me howling.
@Comrade Jake: I’d like to see it be the Saints. Be nice for something really sweet to happen for that city.
Gradkowski went to Toledo. Just as a fokkin’ fyi, I don’t know where it is, either.
There’s one in Ohio, but it could be a Toledo anywhere, seriously.
Go Raiders. Go Al. Oh yeah.
@Turgidson: I’m going to remain optimistic and say that Cutler limits it to one pick while Olsen and Knox each get a touchdown tonight.
By the way, who broke that 72 Dolphin streak?
Wait for it…..
@demkat620: Ditto, that. I would love for it to be the Saints.
And, yay Vikes? Yutsano, honey? You out there? Got your apron on?
Many would say that’s business as usual for the Cleveland Browns.
Well, I think we may all be able to agree that this Desean Jackson kid can play a little.
Can we have an open thread please? I want to talk about this raw story about bumper stickers saying “Pray for Obama:Psalm 109:8”. Money quote:
“The situation that I find genuinely frightening right now,” Schaeffer explained, “is that you have a ramping up of biblical language … and what it’s coalescing into is branding Obama … as ‘not us.’ … Now he joins the ranks of the unjust kings of ancient Israel … who should be slaughtered, if not by God then by just men.”
If you look it up, the quote is fucked up. Jeez.. everyone of those people should be investigated if they have that bumper sticker. Link is here
@Cain: I read that. It’s truly frightening, especially since they can’t see how much they resemble the Muslim extremists they so decry.
@demkat620: And no sooner do I say that and he fumbles. Nice!
By the way, Cole, you’re a sore loser.
As you all by now are aware, the Dallas Cowboys won yet another NFL game, with an impressive victory over a tough Redskins team.
The Pittsburgh Steelers, however, disgraced themselves with an embassing loss to the woeful Chiefs. It is past time to acknowledge that the Steelers are in need of an intervention. They are clearly horrible, but many of their fans actually believe the Steelers to be a quality organization, citing Super Bowl wins as evidence to support this dubious claim. This is delusional.
One criticism of the tournament method of determining champions is that you don’t always get the best teams in the final. Upsets can only mediocre teams like the Seahawks or the Cardinals to sneak in, giving a team like the Steelers a layup win in a game that is supposed to be a true test of greatness. Of course the Steelers actually came close to losing against those cupcakes, but that’s another story. The fact is they should never have gotten such pushover opponents in the first place. The BCS has been rightly criticised for it’s undemocratic nature, and it probably isn’t a good fit for college football. So many teams competing for a single prize requires a tournament to give each team a fair chance. But the NFL would possibly benefit from such a system. Certainly, we would avoid any more atrocities such as Super Bowl XL.
At any rate, I would say the jury is in on Ben Rothlisgoober. He blows goats. He should be selling cars. He’d be good at it, no one would suspect that anyone that goofy would be capable of ripping them off.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
@demkat620: Yes, absolutely. The Eagles have a few talented athletes, in fact.
Which is why it is so disturbing that they would see it necessary to sign a psychopath who gets off on torturing puupies.
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Amen. Ever since they made my mama cry because of the cheap-shot way they beat up Joe Willie Namath.
With the exception of the Colts, the games today all sucked. The RAIDERS won????
Denver isn’t any better off than before Shanahan was fired. He could produce the same stinking results that McDaniels is gettingnow. Their loss today was totally expected. It’s what they’ve done for the past 3 or 4 years.
@South of I-10:
Who dat? Who dey?! Dey dat.
Watching the local Detroit news…. and the Lions victory — taking them from 1-8 to 2-8 — leads the broadcast.
What’s it like to root for a good team? One that doesn’t go 2-24 through the last two seasons?
@International Playboy: Amen to that.
@Zoogz: It’s kinda strange for me. I am waiting for the Vikes to implode the way they always do.
Amen. Bush move, Cole. You could have waited a day after you made good on your bet.
@asiangrrlMN: Must be double-plus strange hoping for Favre to do well. At least I can continue hating him and feel happy that I’m finally not the only one.
@Zoogz: Yeah. I don’t care for Favre (too much of a diva), and I keep waiting for him to implode, but I have to admit he’s doing a really good job so far.
Bob Costas made a good point during halftime of the night game about overtime rules. Namely, that the range and consistency of kickers has increased dramatically since the sudden-death rule was instituted. During the game, a field goal is a partial victory for the defense because the offense was denied a touchdown, but in sudden death it’s game over–and sometimes season over for the losing team.
Among several possibilities, Costas mentioned the one I like: each team gets one possession in OT, then it’s sudden death. This would give the team losing the coin toss a chance to answer the other team gingerly inching down the field and then kicking a long three.
That’s a real creative Raiders’ video. I used to like me some raiders when I lived in L.A. — those were the Lyle Alzado (sp?) days. Huddle!
Now I got the Jets. Poop.
OT — but has anyone seen Gen. W. Stuck? I don’t think he’s been around since he got all riled up the other day and a few of us got into an ear pullin’ contest. I miss him. Er, well, meant to say, where the heck is that gol durned varmint?
@Svensker: No, haven’t seen him. I hope he’s just taking a breather. I miss him, too.
@Steeplejack: Or that they have to go for a touchdown rather than a field goal.
Kinda sounds like the theme song from Conan…
lost in GA
John, Schadenfruede cuts both ways. My Ravens set what must be a record for red zone ineptitude.
Just Some Fuckhead
@lost in GA: No, they weren’t getting to the red zone.
I don’t like that alternative because it limits strategy. Maybe a coach thinks a field goal is all his weak offense can muster (e.g., star quarterback got knocked out in the fourth quarter) but he believes his defense can hold the opponent on their drive.
Simplest is best: You won the coin toss. Do whatever you want. But the other guys get one drive to answer.
P.S. And I don’t want to hear the argument about “Ooh, the game will run on too long!” That a 60-minute game typically takes over three hours is not the fault of overtime. It’s commercial breaks and the generally glacial pace of the game as currently run (by teams and officials). But we’re suddenly going to get all time-conscious in overtime?! Fuggedaboudit.
@Comrade Mary: Win, win, win, win.
Di-really-crappy-beer like substance-ium crystal powered dogships. Coke through the nose time.
I’m not sure WTF Cole is laughing about. The Bengals = Bungals, right? Yet they beat the Stillers twice, then the Stillers went on to lose gloriously to the Chiefs.
The defending Superbowl Champs lost twice to the Bungals, then the G-D Chiefs.
And anything Cinci does is hahahaha worthy how?
Oh man…the potential here…naahhh…
@Corner Stone: Hey, if I was getting paid that kinda money, I would be a hell of a lot less of a diva. Plus, I just can’t stand the way the announcers kiss his ass no matter what he does. Retiring, unretiring, blah blah blah.
That reminds me of something a co-worker said when I reminded him that there is no “I” in team: “No, but there’s a ME…and an AT…as in look AT ME!”
Hells yeah, Akers and McCoy come through with the points I needed. I’ll scrape out a win this week.
And now for something completely different.
Galaxy loses the MLS final to Real Godforsaken Salt Lake, on PKs.
And as if that doesn’t hurt enough, the futbol gods decide to really twist the knife.
RSL is coached by a former Duke player, Jason Kreis.
The winning goal is scored by a former Duke player, Robbie Russell.
In all fairness, and all cognitive dissonance aside, Favre rocks…and I say this as a die-hard Packer fan. Although I have no doubt that the Vikings will implode at some point. White Whales and shit.
@asiangrrlMN: I have only one remaining question dear: do you want your cookies male or female? (And bonus points if you can get that without asking.)
Eight years of living in Pittsburgh leaves a trace…
When I heard the Raiders – Bengals score, in my mind’s ear I could just hear Myron Cope saying “Hmm..Hah! Back to the old Cinci Bungles. Oi!
@Yutsano: Both, of course! Duh! Happy baking.
@asiangrrlMN: A dozen of each it shall be!
@asiangrrlMN: Heh. :-)
@Comrade Mary: Oh, that is AWESOME!
@Yutsano: Guess which parts I’ll be eating first! Yum. Cookies baked with the salty tears of a crushed Seahawks’ fan. It doesn’t get better than that.
The autumn wind is a raider….
Maybe you had to be there.