Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

T R E 4 5 O N

I was promised a recession.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

In my day, never was longer.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

This really is a full service blog.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

The revolution will be supervised.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

You cannot shame the shameless.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

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Reader Interactions

105Comments

  3. 3.

    cmorenc

    Fridays would be lots better if it wasn’t so certain that most Republicans will still be the same malevolently stupid assholes on Monday morning, claiming a hundred things that are patently false and when the proof finally catches up to the falsehood, simply trotting out a hundred new false things, pretending they never claimed the previous hundred.

  7. 7.

    Third Eye Open

    Everybody is working for the weekend … and a pony!

    Somehow the conserva-kids have taken over our “independent” school paper and refuse to release logic from its captivity in their super-secret underground facility … AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!

  8. 8.

    Rhoda

    So it looks like unemployment is starting to trend downward. Thank God. We still have a long way to go; but I bet the GOP folks are freaking out. If, god willing, the unemployment levels continue to climb down ( a jobs bill would help that) and health care reform passes the Democrats are going into the midterms in a better condition than anyone expected.

  9. 9.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Third Eye Open:

    Somehow the conserva-kids have taken over our “independent” school paper and refuse to release logic from its captivity in their super-secret underground facility

    Well, considering that the FSU “student” newspaper isn’t a “student” newspaper at all, it’s not surprising.

  10. 10.

    robertdsc

    I get a short respite today before an 8 hour day tomorrow and 16 hour day Sunday. The OT is fierce for the past few weeks. My lady friend and I will have a very good Christmas. /heh

  11. 11.

    Napoleon

    @Rhoda:

    I honestly don’t know how that is possible if they are still adding to the actual number of people who are unemployed, although admittedly even the U-6 number came down.

    Anyways TGIF – I can not wait until 5pm.

  12. 12.

    Sinister eyebrow

    I’m fishing a bass tournament on Sunday in Roxboro, NC. The weather is set to be 29 degrees and snowing. I’m not so sure I want this week to end just yet.

  13. 13.

    Punchy

    stock market is up big, which means everything is great in the economy, housing prices are rising, unemployment is 2.4% of The Unlazy, and ponies should start raining down on my area any day now.

  14. 14.

    d0n camillo

    @Napoleon:

    I honestly don’t know how that is possible if they are still adding to the actual number of people who are unemployed, although admittedly even the U-6 number came down.

    It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that quite a few baby boomers are taking early retirement. I must admit I would probably just say “fuck it” if I were 60 and had to face finding a new job in this market.

  17. 17.

    Betsy

    I’m looking forward to a small dinner party with friends tonight, including one who’s in from out of town who I don’t get to see very often. My contribution will be chocolate chip cookies and brown sugar cookies, both made with browned butter. I cannot wait.

  18. 18.

    Third Eye Open

    @arguingwithsignposts: The sad part is we get a bunch of rejects from RedState and CATO coming by to throw their two cents in. Even this Nick Kypriotakis guy writes for the Tallahassee Democrat. Your liberal media and Academia at work.

  20. 20.

    KyCole

    What is this retirement of which you speak? I anticipate working until I either die at my desk or my company does the same.

  21. 21.

    ericvsthem

    Heading out with my wife and 3 month old son to pick out a Christmas tree at the local tree farm. Last time I checked, the forecast was calling for snow (I live west of Philly in DelCo), and for once this makes me happy! TGIF, indeed.

  23. 23.

    IndieTarheel

    Just read this:
    __

    When I was growing up, in Ann Arbor, Mich., there was a little debate: Should school officials try to prevent black students from using the N-word? I don’t believe the issue was ever settled. And this brings up the question of whether “teabagger” could be kind of a conservative N-word: to be used in the family, but radioactive outside the family.

    My mind boggles; His apparently has both the intellect and consistency of a half-eaten mousse.

  24. 24.

    Corner Stone

    Stepped into an elevator yesterday, along with several ladies returning from their lunch/hour bible study.
    They began to wrap up what they had been discussing, and although my ears were bleeding at the time, I believe I heard one of them say something like, “I agree with the young earth…”
    And it was about that time I think I passed out from the strain of not saying something.

  31. 31.

    r€nato

    Hey, I really like the idea of drafting Cheney. After all, the former Chickenhawk-in-Chief helped himself to five deferments during Vietnam.

    Oh, wait… you mean draft him to run for president? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m wiping tears from my eyes… Palin and Cheney running for president? Oh man… it really is remarkable how Obama’s campaign opponents self-destruct over and over again!

  32. 32.

    jeffreyw

    @Betsy: Does it come from brown cows? I remember from a children’s book little poem that included the line:

    “I’ve never seen a purple cow
    But I’d rather see than be one.”

    OK, yes, I’m bored. Why do you ask?

  33. 33.

    donovong

    “The Labor Department reported Friday that the United States economy shed 11,000 jobs in November, and the unemployment rate fell to 10 percent, down from 10.2 percent in October.

    The government also significantly revised September and October numbers. September was adjusted to show a loss of 139,000 jobs instead of 219,000, and October 111,000 instead of 190,000.”

    I realize it sucks to be one of those 11,000 people, but I think it is wonderful news that ONLY 11,000 became unemployed. Thank FSM, I believe we are really getting out of this ditch.

    TGIF indeed!

  34. 34.

    r€nato

    @donovong:

    it’s good news that unemployment is starting to fall. If this continues, a lot of political horserace journalists will have to come up with new reasons why everything is going to be good news for Republicans in 2010.

  36. 36.

    PanAmerican

    I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like…..victory. Someday this war’s gonna end…

    2200 gallons of poison, $3 million dollars, 1 dead fish.

    I get the institutional inertial continuing to throw money at a solution that was questionable to begin with, poorly executed and is a failure by their own monitoring… but how does anyone claiming to be green rationalize a mass fish kill?

  38. 38.

    Library Grape

    hi john and everyone. been away for work for a while. i just wanted to let you know that i’m going to be posting a breathtaking article next week from a courageous Pakistani woman who lives in Pakistan who has an amazing perspective on the effect that the war in Afghanistan has on the region. She’s been a commenter at my blog for a while and, through her perspective, I’ve come to realize how little we hear, in our vaunted mainstream media, from actual people in the countries we so cavalierly trample upon.

    anyway, have a great weekend! I’ll have more soon.

  40. 40.

    WaterGirl

    Betsy and RedKitten, can you say more about brown butter?

    Is it really just that – butter that you brown in a pan? Do you separate out the solids or use it all? Do you measure before or after you brown the butter?

  41. 41.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    Off to Redstone Arsenal this morning to work on a new LED lighting system for the Army teevee studio. I like what I do, I’m happy for the project and thrilled to be employed, but I’m always a bit creeped out when I have to go to The Arsenal. Give the side-eye to the wrong person, and it might earn a free trip to Gitmo.

  43. 43.

    South of I-10

    Stay off of the roads in the south. Forecasters say an inch of snow is possible along the I-10 corridor this evening, more in N. Louisiana. Not a damn person here knows how to drive on ice. Mr. South is making gumbo tonight. Mmm gumbo.

  44. 44.

    donovong

    @South of I-10: Amen, sister. I lived in Charleston SC for a couple of years, and during one winter we got just over 1/4 (one quarter) of an inch of snow, and it stuck for a few hours. They had a bazillion wrecks, offices closed and schools were sent home early. Good times!

  46. 46.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    @South of I-10:

    Mr. South is making gumbo tonight. Mmm gumbo.

    I’m thinking gumbo as well, with the roux made low-and-slow, and The Radiators playing in the background.

  48. 48.

    Third Eye Open

    @South of I-10: I remember about an inch of snow in Tallahassee, something like ten years ago. The rednecks don’t quite realize that “4-wheel drive” does not mean “4-wheel stop”. When it gets that bad around here, the sides of the road look like TruckNutz graveyards.

  49. 49.

    geg6

    An interesting day for me.

    My John’s ex-wife’s child rearing style is currently reaping the whirlwind. It’s been quite the thing watching a 25-year-old woman throw a tantrum and act out because suddenly she can’t have everything she wants served up to her on a silver platter with a side of gold plated no responsibility.

    A little background: Said daughter wasted 3 years and over $100,000 on bouncing around several colleges (UMass, Robert Morris U, local community college) and has exactly 0 credits to show for it. Lives, rent and utilities free, in a basement apartment at John’s. Has an Escalade paid for and insured by mother and step-dad. Worked 3 days a week as a bartender in a dive bar; mother and step-dad provided with a credit card and deposited $2000/mo in her bank account. Both parents set up guaranteed entry level jobs with, respectively, PNC Bank and Alamo Rental Car; she only had to show up for the interviews. She cancelled both interviews.

    On to the latest…John has now been informed by ex that daughter stole $2000 from mother’s home and then stole a credit card and charged $6000 to it. Mother and step-dad came to take Navigator away and found it with 4 flat tires and a broken rim. Had it towed and found out, in addition to the $600 bill for the tires and rim, it needs a new transmission, has several major body issues due to numerous minor accidents, a new exhaust system, and extensive repairs to the interior. She now has no transportation and is demanding her mother provide her with money or she is planning to either go on welfare (LOL!) or will start selling her body (again, LOL). After screaming and throwing things at John, she is now refusing to speak to him (which suits him just fine). She has taken to calling her mother and telling her that John has left her in the house with no food and she is starving to death, so could she bring her another car and some cash so she can get some food before she dies.

    Now, granted, John obviously made some mistakes in his every-other-weekend parenting of this woman. But it was mom and step-dad who had custody. And the ex is at her wits end and can’t figure out how they got to this pass. As John tells me but doesn’t bring up to the ex (yet), he faithfully paid $1800/mo in child support for 14 years which her mother gave to her with no strings attached. And then continued bankrolling her well beyond a reasonable age. So I have no sympathy whatsoever for mom.

    John wants to have her arrested or 302ed (in PA, involuntary psychiatric commitment). He is quite sure she is on drugs, but can’t find any in the apartment when he’s searched it. But mom isn’t quite there yet. And I’m sitting her trying to be supportive of my guy, but very quietly and meanly laughing my ass off at idiot yuppie parenting that thinks stupid shit like “self-esteem” and “being your child’s best friend” are synonymous with parenting.

    I think things are gonna blow this weekend. Especially since I will be there. She hates my guts. I laugh.

    I know this makes me sound terrible, but I love seeing this girl get her comeuppance.

  51. 51.

    JohnR

    “The rednecks don’t quite realize that “4-wheel drive” does not mean “4-wheel stop”.”

    Well, yeah, but the same goes up in New England. Human nature. On the other hand, one of my favorite memories from my first winter in Providence RI (the city on the hills) is watching from the bottom as a fellow in a big old Lincoln worked his way up a steep hill with his car at about a 45-degree angle to his direction of motion. Filled the whole street – he had about a foot on each side, but he hardly weaved at all. He might have had snow tires, I don’t know, but he definitely didn’t have chains. It was hard to see the car sometimes from the plumes of snow at each corner. I felt proud to be a human when he made it to the top and out of sight.

  52. 52.

    tripletee

    @valdivia:

    I am totally clueless about tech stuff so can anyone tell me if this Google Public DNS is something to try and should a lonely cable connected internet user like me use it?

    No real reason to unless you’re having trouble with your ISP’s DNS (ie, you’re getting a lot of timeouts, invalid responses, or annoying redirections/filtering on lookups). If you are, you could try teh Goog’s service or another open resolver like OpenDNS.

  54. 54.

    Nethead Jay

    @valdivia: Yes, it could be a good idea for you to use. I’ve been using OpenDNS for a long time and this looks quite similar. Many ISPs provide less than optimal DNS service, so well-run alternatives are a good thing. Heard about this yesterday and it looks like Google will bring the necessary resources and open, responsible attitude to this.

  55. 55.

    Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion

    @geg6: No, you don’t sound terrible. You sound tired. As someone who has spent the “better” part of his life surrounded by junkies and neurotics, most of whom I’m related to, I completely understand what you’re talking about. People who haven’t been through the experience of long-term abusive, manipulative, self-destructive behaviors can’t begin to understand what a relief it can be when the laws of the universe FINALLY get around to handing out the consequences. It doesn’t make it any less tragic, or senseless a waste. But acknowledging a sense of satisfaction doesn’t make you a terrible person, either. Just makes you human.

  57. 57.

    cmorenc

    @geg6

    My John’s ex-wife’s child rearing style is currently reaping the whirlwind. It’s been quite the thing watching a 25-year-old woman throw a tantrum and act out because suddenly she can’t have everything she wants served up to her on a silver platter

    Stories like this truly leave me in grateful wonderment at how the pair of my wife and I as parents (me an old burned-out hippie/perennial student with more degrees than impressive accomplishments in life)…somehow managed to produce two relatively sane, responsible straight-arrow kids, one a 25-year old med student doing very well in her studies indeed, the other a 20-year old part-scholarship varsity athlete at college who wants to someday be a nurse perhaps, not a tattoo or piercing between them (except at the appropriate spot on their earlobes).

    With all the various parenting and role model mistakes we made along the way, we somehow nevertheless managed to avoid any toxic results and produced two genuinely good people (so far) to carry on. It’s not a done deal yet, but…reading stories like this one I’m sometimes just dumbfounded how the Hell we managed to get good results so far rather than the at least one semi-trainwreck that so many families who try so hard to do the right things nonetheless wind up with so often. I’d like to take credit, but in my heart I know the much lesser part is through deserved skill, the much greater part is sheer blind fortune.

  58. 58.

    South of I-10

    @Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon): Sounds good to me!

    @jeffreyw: It is very similar to this as it is a Prejean’s recipe, except he does chicken and sausage. A word to the wise – do not add any pepper until you can actually taste it. We use spicy sausage. The first time he made it, he added the pepper exactly as called for and it was so hot it was inedible.

  59. 59.

    geg6

    @Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion:

    Thanks for the support. Yes, it’s quite tiring and the fact that I have seen this coming and tried, in a very meek way, to point out the problems here hasn’t made it easier. I have no skin in the game with this girl, other than the fact that I care quite deeply for her father, so I try to just shut up. But I’d love to just strangle this little, spoiled shit. And she knows I’m onto her, which is one reason she hates my guts.

    @cmorenc:

    You are lucky, but I think good kids are also the product of good parenting most of the time. Hell, that dynamic is easy to see in my own family. We had two boys and the four of us girls. The girls were always held to a very high standard for doing chores, being responsible, and achieving in school. All four of us are successful in our fields and live nice middle-class American lives. The two boys were always coddled and excused and they have ended up pretty much worthless human beings. They were such entitled assholes when my parents died (threatening lawsuits and such over my parents’ teeny tiny estate) that 3 of us sisters refuse to speak to them ever since.

    Two opposing parenting styles in one family/household, with predictable results for both, IMHO.

  60. 60.

    Bostondreams

    So morale among educators at my high school is at an all time low. We are an F school thanks to lack of AYP among particular subgroups (and only 23% of the school reading at grade level!), and the lovely folks from the Florida DOE have been all over us.
    Today, they told the science department that they are no longer to teach their own content, but switch immediately to FCAT science and teach only what is on the test. This goes for the whole department 9 through 11 (when they take the test).
    One of our best English teachers was threatened with her job when she refused to change her curriculum. They told her that she is stop teaching literature and grammar(!) and teach only FCAT skills, and to take down the posters of literature films (Count of Monte Criston, Lord of the Rings, etc) and replace them with FCAT skills posters.
    In the state report to our principal, they were upset that they sensed hostility among the teachers toward them. Ha.
    Teaching used to be fun. :(

  62. 62.

    geg6

    @Bostondreams:

    Gawd, I hate standardized tests. Another GOP experiment in “improving” education that is nothing but massive FAIL.

    And these kids will then infest my little post-secondary corner of the world and we’ll have to be teaching them all the shit they didn’t learn in high school for their freshman year. And people wonder why it now takes an average of 4.5 to 5 years to get a bachelor’s degree. It’s because these kids don’t know how to do anything but fill in bubble sheets and text message.

  63. 63.

    South of I-10

    @Third Eye Open: Ha! Trucknutz gone wild! Seriously, rain + freezing = very bad. I plan to be off the road by 5pm, people will be driving like idiots. I need to get to the store to buy the stuff for the gumbo and stock up on red wine.

  64. 64.

    RedKitten

    @geg6: Nothing worse than entitlement in an adult child. I’m going through that with my sister right now. The woman is almost 40, and my mom and stepdad have bailed her out financially over and over again, but nothing ever changes and she just keeps going back into crippling debt. And there’s no excuse for it — she has an excellent job (in fact, she makes about $9K a year more than my husband and I combined), but she’s just got this horrible sense of entitlement. So when she sees a wealthier friend buying this or that, she figures that she “deserves it” too, and will “treat herself”, completely ignoring the reality of the situation, and racking up her credit cards. And my mom and stepdad are fairly well-off, so unfortunately, my sister figures that if she asks, they should give, because “they can afford it.”

    Your John and the girl’s mother need to nip this in the bud, because it’s NOT going to get better with time. The more she gets bailed out, the more she’ll expect it, and she’ll wind up like my great-aunt Agatha, who was stealing money out of my Alzheimer’s-addled grandmother’s purse right up until the day that the former died.

  65. 65.

    Third Eye Open

    @South of I-10: I have a great recipe for Thai Gumbo that I like to make when it gets cold, but I think tonight is a pizza and beer night while I kill me some zombies. But, a nice big pot of andouille sausage chili sure sounds like a Saturday night possibility. Eat well, and stay warm.

  67. 67.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @hulio:

    God I miss Full House.

    Danny, Jesse, Joey, D.J., Stephanie and adorable little Michelle were just saying how much they miss you, too.

  68. 68.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten:
    @geg6:

    I have a distant cousin, 50-something years old, who lives with her parents, is always “sick,” smokes like a chimney, hasn’t had a job in probably at least five or six years (but never actually does anything about it), and has a really annoying attitude of entitlement. She pouts and sulks and scowls all the time — when she isn’t whining or demanding or cajoling — and I’ve come to dread spending any time in her company because it’s all so unpleasant. She’s smart, well-educated, well-travelled, and has terrific skills, but you’d never know it these days. I despair of her parents (they go from being outraged and impatient to indulgent ). I also despair of the woman herself and worry about what will happen to her when her aging parents are no longer around to bail her out yet again.

  71. 71.

    Maude

    @geg6: Thank you for writing about this. I knew a woman, in her 50’s, lived with mommy, only had a job because her family worked at the place and was meaner than a snake. Totally self obsessed.
    Had to give her the boot. And she was a parasite.
    I don’t have any comforting words for you. If she hates you, then you are doing the right thing.

  72. 72.

    Corner Stone

    @South of I-10:

    Stay off of the roads in the south. Forecasters say an inch of snow is possible along the I-10 corridor this evening, more in N. Louisiana. Not a damn person here knows how to drive on ice.

    No doubt. Working from home today because no damn body in H-Town knows how to drive in snow/sleet and it’s just not worth the risk.

  74. 74.

    South of I-10

    @Corner Stone: I heard y’all got a couple of inches in Houston! They just moved up our winter weather advisory to begin at 3pm – I’m wondering if I shouldn’t go check out the little one early, how much is she going to miss in kindergarten?

  75. 75.

    chrome agnomen

    @geg6:
    @49 that sucks. yet we’ve got so many of those now, that they managed to elect one of their own for preznit in 2000 and 2004. we reaped that whirlwind.

  76. 76.

    South of I-10

    @Corner Stone: I’m pretty sure that would be bitter. Okay, you caught me in one of this “what, everyone hasn’t heard of Prejeans?” moments. So it is a local restaurant, here is the menu if you are ever passing through.

  78. 78.

    gex

    @geg6: Ugh. As someone who has serious self esteem issues, I hate when people attack that. As with everything, moderation is the key. I don’t think there is anything wrong with attending to your child’s development of self esteem.

    Additionally, I cringe at that phrase because it is largely delivered by overly self-esteemed wing nuts.

  80. 80.

    gex

    @geg6: It must be difficult being in that situation as a step parent whose objective view of things can probably provide the best perspective on the situation, but of course means your advice might be the least welcomed.

  81. 81.

    gex

    Geg:

    I hear you on the parenting. I have an Asian father, so there were rather drastic differences between the way I was raised and my brother was raised.

    Suffice it to say, I left the house at 18, have paid my way since then, including putting myself through college. My 31 year old brother is still living at home in the basement. They put him through college, insure his car, and give him gas money. He works at a pizza place and smokes pot for a hobby.

    When I think of the numbers we are seeing in college achievement between men and women, I wonder if there is some relation to our anecdotes.

  82. 82.

    R-Jud

    We’re back from vacation in the US. It was lovely. On the last day before leaving I always clean up my parents’ house, fill up their car’s tank if we’ve borrowed it, and buy them groceries for the next week.

    I’m curious: is it just Northeastern PA, or have grocery prices in the US completely skyrocketed in the last 18 months? It is now cheaper to shop for food in Britain than it is in the US. I bought more meat, produce, and cheese in the UK (in addition to baby stuff and beer for Mr Jud) and still spent about 10% less than I did for my parents.

    You can still get huge, cheap meals from restaurants and whatnot, but looking at yesterday’s grocery bill from Shop-Rite and today’s from Morrison’s, I’m pretty flabbergasted at the difference.

  83. 83.

    Randy P

    @geg6:

    No real life stories to top this parenting nightmare. Our kids are out of the house and while they’ve made some decisions I wouldn’t agree with, I think they’re going to do OK.

    But on a sort of related note, I’m just finishing Terry McMillan’s “A Day Late and a Dollar Short” which I picked up on impulse in the library. I’ve decided it’s kind of mom porn. The mom is a tough old gal and the kids have all screwed up their lives in various ways, but then she dies, they’re devastated but they also all have various epiphanies and get unscrewed-up while talking about how much they miss her.

    I’m not doing it justice. It’s a great read and the characters are really wonderful. But there is definitely that mom-porn thread in it.

  85. 85.

    geg6

    @gex:

    As someone who has serious self esteem issues, I hate when people attack that.

    I’m not bagging on anyone’s real, actual self-esteem issues. Heaven knows, I’ve had them myself.

    What I object to is the “self-esteem movement” crap. Never criticize because you’ll ruin self-esteem! Everyone gets a trophy! We are all winners! Can’t fail someone or hold them back because they might feel bad about it! Never hold anyone responsible for their actions because they might get sad!

    That’s what I object to and that is what has created so many adult monsters today.

    I had to work and earn what self-esteem I have. I got it through achievement, hard work, and figuring out how live a good and productive life. I don’t believe it good for anyone to feel good about themselves all the time, no matter what. It is the setbacks in life that teach us the most and make us appreciate the good times.

  86. 86.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    @South of I-10:

    As a shortcut, Mr. South sometimes uses Richard’s Roux instead of making his own.

    This is where I get off the bus. IMHO, the secret to great gumbo is making the roux by the time-honored low-and-slow method. Take a cup of vegetable oil, put it in a cast iron skillet. Get it hot, but not too hot (not smoking). Turn to a low heat. Get 1-1/2 cups flour. Gradually start sifting in the flour, and stir. And keep stirring. After 1/2 hour or so, it will begin to thicken. When it gets to about a cashew-brown, it’s ready.

    My bible when we lived in New Orleans was Leon Soniat’s La Bouche Creole.

  89. 89.

    binzinerator

    Horrible day, just horrific tragedy happened here that has affected us.

    Mrs. Binz went to drop our kids off at their preschool this morning only to find it was closed for the day. The Director took her aside and told her our 2-year-old son’s teacher and the teacher’s daughter, who is also in our son’s class, had been murdered last night. Amber was his teacher, and Neveah was the little girl.

    Our son just adored Amber. She was the one he wanted to comfort him if he was having a bad day at school.

    Wednesday night I when picked my kids, I asked Amber how his day was. She told me he had a really good day. Then she gushed “I just love that little guy!” And Neveah came running up and gave me a hug and asked me if my son could stay longer so they can play more.

    Now they’re both gone. We’re stunned. It’s so goddamed senseless. Amber was so full of joy, so happy, just loved kids. And Neveah was the cutest little sweetheart, loved hugs. Oh damn I am just crying now. It makes no sense.

    How the hell do I tell my little boy and my 4-year-old daughter, who went to the same school and also knew both of them well, about this?

    I think the best I can do is tell them Amber and Neveah are gone and are not coming back. That they have died and not go into any details. I sure as hell am not telling them some bad man shot them.

    This is going to be hard on our little boy; he just absolutely adored Amber. It’s going to be hard on our little girl in other ways, she’s older and has begun to realize that people die but does not yet understanding it.

    I guess I don’t either. It’s so senseless. So wrong. Amber was just a joyful person, truly she was. Neveah was just two years old. My mind just reels.

  90. 90.

    WaterGirl

    @binzinerator:
    You won’t know me, but I feel the need to say something because I think I may be the only person who has read your post. My heart goes out to you and your family and all the people affected by this terrible tragedy, and especially to all the kids who won’t be able to understand their loss.

    It sounds like Amber was a bright light. A few years ago I lost a co-worker to a tragic accident; she had a special light inside, too, and I have never forgotten her. You were lucky to have her in your lives, but now you have this terrible loss. I am so sorry.

    I hope you will re-post your comment in another thread so your BJ friends will see it. They would want to know.

  91. 91.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @binzinerator:

    This makes me weep — in grief for Amber and Neveah and the people who loved them, in rage at such a senseless murder, and in frustration that this is not at all an uncommon event in this country. I am so terribly sorry, binzinerator, for you and Mrs. Binz and especially for your children who are sure to have trouble comprehending this. There are just no words. Shit, I’m sitting here at work, getting ready to go home for the weekend, and just sobbing over this. Shitshitshit. Terrible.

  92. 92.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @WaterGirl: Thanks for making the suggestion that binz repost this in a more current thread. I meant to say that in my message but forgot. Over the past several months I have seen this extraordinary BJ community rally around people who are going through loss or upset, and I know many others would want to know and show their support for the binzes.

  94. 94.

    Ruckus

    @binzinerator:
    I am sorry for your and children’s loss.
    My own take on tragedy, even for kids is the truth. I do understand that the gory details can be spared but the overall points should be covered. Kids will miss their friends and maybe not understand fully but I feel they will understand the truth. Kids are usually stronger/tougher than we give them credit for. And if you try to hid the truth they may in the future end up not trusting you. And that is much harder. Telling them is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but I think it is necessary.
    We all grieve for the loss of those people and pets we love but we have to know why they are gone to get past it and move on. It’s a shame your child has to learn these life lessons so young, especially under these circumstances but this is something we all go through, what ever the age we are when we start learning them.

  95. 95.

    Ruckus

    @binzinerator:
    Now that I’ve posted my first comment and read it there it sounds a bit cold. I apologize for that. I am not trying to diminish the utter horror of this tragedy and I do feel so sorry for everyone involved.

  97. 97.

    South of I-10

    @binzinerator: This is so tragic and senseless. I know it will be diffcult to discuss with the kids when you are trying to process it yourself. Tell the truth, omitting the gory details. What a horrible situation. I am keeping your family and theirs in my thoughts. Peace.

  99. 99.

    Comrade Mary

    I’m so sorry. Amber and Neveah sound wonderful and should have had long and happy lives. Does that man even imagine the pain he inflicted on so many people with this terrible, selfish crime?

  100. 100.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @binzinerator:
    I am so sorry that this terrible tragedy has happened. Please give your little ones hugs from all of us.

    I can’t think of any words of consoling wisdom. I’ve read that small children tend to think that external events are somehow connected with them even when from an adult perspective they obviously are not, so you may want to consider telling them there wasn’t anything they could have done which would have changed what happened, and to thank them for the wonderful sense of companionship and pleasure which they obviously gave to both Amber and Neveah. That is a gift whose significance they won’t understand until later, but it can’t hurt to let them know that getting along well with others and sharing fun together is something which makes a big positive difference in the lives of other people and that you are proud of them for doing it so well.

  104. 104.

    binzinerator

    Thank you everyone, for your sympathy and words. The senselessness of the thing is just is so hard, so damned hard.

    Ruckus I did not think what you said was cold, I think what you said makes sense, sounded like good advice. Thank you.

    We told our kids after I posted the comment. It was tough. The 2-year-old didn’t understand it, which is what we were expecting. I know though the first thing he will do on Monday when he walks in his classroom is to look for Amber. Gonna break my heart for sure. When we told our daughter they were gone, were not coming back, that they had died, she said, ‘Why papa? They’re not old.”

    She had remembered when her 90 year-old great-grandmother died this summer, and we had told her about that, we took her to the funeral, and explained that all living things eventually die, including people, and that people do not live forever.

    All I could tell her why Amber and Neveah had died was that sometimes this happens to young people too.

    She was quiet for a while then said, ‘Papa, is that why you were sad today? Is that why Mama was sad?’ I told her, yes love that was why. And it’s ok to feel sad, it’s all right to cry when you are sad.

    She asked us to read some books to her. And when we’d finished she asked us again, ‘Why did Amber die?’

    The hard part is there is no real answer why.

  105. 105.

    aimai

    Binzerator,

    I wanted to add something. We lost our nine year old niece, tragically, to a spontaneous brain embolism on her third day of third grade. Five years later we will be attending a memorial walk in her Honor that raises money for families in need. At the time of her death my daughters were, I think, five and three. They really didn’t have the ability to process any of the details or reasons for their cousin’s death. We told them simply, and directly, and questions emerged slowly, even years later. I myself lost my own sister when I was eight and she was six. I think my parents would be horrified to find out (42 years later) that all the polite, conventional, disguising things they’d said to cover up her brain cancer (she has a “virus”) led me to intense private fears of imminent death every time someone I knew got a viral illness. In other words: keep it very simple. You don’t know what euphemism or overstatement may take on a life of its own.

    My heart goes out to you, and yours, and all the families caught up in this senseless tragedy.

    aimai

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