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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

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When I was faster i was always behind.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

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Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

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This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

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Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

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You are here: Home / Politics / Domestic Politics / The Fun Never Stops

The Fun Never Stops

by John Cole|  December 7, 200910:36 pm| 137 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics

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So I’m sitting watching the Ken and Barbie Killers on Biography with Lily on my lap (I lost interest in the game and my book), and I hear some bitching coming from the kitchen. Out saunters Tunch, with foam on his tail and hindquarters, and I say to myself, “This is where finally he kills me. I thought it would be years from now.”

Turns out my dishwasher has blown up. The fun never stops.

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Reader Interactions

137Comments

  1. 1.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    Pictures, or it never happened. Especially pics of Tunchie with foam on his ass.

  2. 2.

    burnspbesq

    December 7, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    Scott Horton is on with Olbermann, discussing the Seton Hall study.

    Holy fuck.

  3. 3.

    Comrade Mary

    December 7, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    Out saunters Tunch, with foam on his tail and hindquarters, and I say to myself, “This is where finally he kills me. I thought it would be years from now.”

    God damn it, Cole, I LOLed. For real.

    (Foam on the mouth I can understand as a sign of Killer Cat. But foam on his butt? Is cat ass-rabies that much more lethal? Or did you think he was just going to aerosol-shit you to death?)

  4. 4.

    Brian J

    December 7, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    This past Saturday morning, I had my LSAT. I decided on Thursday night I wasn’t going to take it, but then, after going back and forth, decided late Friday night that I was going to actually sit for it. So after taking two sleeping pills and a hot shower in order to put me to sleep around 12:00-12:30 AM, I wake up between 5:30-6:00 AM to find that the ice maker in the fridge has flooded the kitchen. Not exactly the nicest thing in the world, for a few different reasons.

  5. 5.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 7, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    But foam on his butt? Is cat ass-rabies that much more lethal?

    It’s like The Ring.

  6. 6.

    maye

    December 7, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    @Brian J: you took two sleeping pills and only slept for 6 hours? You’re hard core.

  7. 7.

    ellaesther

    December 7, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    @Comrade Mary: “cat-ass rabies”?

    “cat-ass rabies”?!

    I grinned at John’s tale — your addition made me snort.

    I thank you.

    (PS – John, I am so sorry! It sounds like you’ve been having something akin to a hell of a time lately [I will not mention my worry over last week’s doctors’ appointments, I swear!] + your team apparently sucks — and now the dishwasher?! Dude. I’m very sorry).

  8. 8.

    beltane

    December 7, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    You’re lucky to have a cat that alerts you to appliance malfunctions, etc. I don’t even think my dog would do that.

  9. 9.

    Arlene

    December 7, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    We need pictures. I feel your pain but your description was hysterical. Don’t feel bad my year old front load washer’s water valve backed up and overflowed on my family room carpet. At which point, mildew developed and a new carpet had to be installed. What fun! At least, my homeowner’s coverage came through. Please at least one picture of Tunch at the scene.

  10. 10.

    HRA

    December 7, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    “Out saunters Tunch, with foam on his tail and hindquarters, and I say to myself, “This is where finally he kills me. I thought it would be years from now.”

    Thanks for giving me a laugh for today. I have to get out of here. I cant stop laughing everytime I read the above. You have to write a book about Tunch.

  11. 11.

    Blahblah

    December 7, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    Dishwasher? Oh. Good news for conservatives! then. Right?

  12. 12.

    John O

    December 7, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    I don’t get it, John.

    I’m sure the Tunchster was thinking about killing you regardless. He’s a bad-ass cat.

  13. 13.

    SP

    December 7, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Did you put regular dish soap (eg, palmolive) in, either intentionally or by having a big glob on something that you loaded? That stuff will foam up like crazy and come out the sides, but it will be fine on the next run.

  14. 14.

    Joshua Norton

    December 7, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    I’ve had a dishwasher blow up in mid-cycle before. Not a lot of laughs.

    The mess created is right up there with the time I thought you could use liquid dish soap as a substitute for dishwasher detergent. Turns out you can’t.

  15. 15.

    Morbo

    December 7, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    God damn it, Cole, I LOLed. For real.

    As did I. Bonus points for use of “sauntered;” it really ratcheted up the mental picture of cat with murderous intent.

  16. 16.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 7, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    The game just got good. Baltimore scored a TD and then intercepted and just got down to the Packers 1.

  17. 17.

    Keith G

    December 7, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    “Ass-rabies”?

    Oh, lord. I’m ruined.

  18. 18.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 7, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Touchdown!

  19. 19.

    Emma

    December 7, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    “Ass-rabies?” Somebody owes me a laptop. Mine didn’t like the Pepsi spray… And John, I second the upthread suggestion… The Book of Tunch would become a gospel in no time!

  20. 20.

    John O

    December 7, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    My grandfather, juvenile diabetic life underwriter (how long you gonna live? I’ll check it out and price it for you), had since I was a kid prepared us for his death. By the time I was five years old I had seen him wrestled into sucrose-submission.

    We were so prepared for Grandpa’s death Grandma The Saint of all Things Living, Loving, and Growings’ death threw most of us into some serious thought.

    His first major living alone faux-pas, as it were/is, was putting a bunch of regular dish detergent into an automatic dishwasher, FSM rest his soul. He was completely dependent on Gramma for that kind of thing.

    So the exploding dishwasher thing is music to my ears.

  21. 21.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: A man alone in his football watching. So sad. Rooting for the Ravens, are you?

  22. 22.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    December 7, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Ass-rabies. It must go in the Lexicon. And become a tag.

    Now.

    And yeah, if you’re going to use dish washing liquid in your dish washer there’s a definite art. More than 1/4 tsp will result in foamy assed cats.

  23. 23.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    @Emma: WTF? I no can haz edit any more?

    I third the suggestion. I would buy multiple copies of a book on Tunchie as long as there are pictures.

  24. 24.

    Ash Can

    December 7, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    I hear some bitching coming from the kitchen.

    He wasn’t bitching, he was just talking. He was miffed because of all the time and attention you’re lavishing on Lily, so he found a way to short-circuit your dishwasher. He was saying, “There, Buttmunch. That’ll keep your sorry monkey ass busy for a while. And when you’re done with that, I’ll find something else more worthwhile for you to do than talk sappy to my hired help.”

  25. 25.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 7, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    @asiangrrlMN: Actually, I’m watching the game with Mrs. Fuckhead. And missing the hell outta Favre.

  26. 26.

    John O

    December 7, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    “Ass rabies” is terrific.

  27. 27.

    Genine

    December 7, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Wow, you’ve had a sucky time of it lately. I hope things improve. If nothing else, the term “ass-rabies” is sure to make you smile. (At the very least)

  28. 28.

    Corner Stone

    December 7, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    @HRA:

    You have to write a book about Tunch.

    You people scare the absolute hell outta me. Fat bastard couldn’t catch his own shadow. What book?

  29. 29.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: WTF are you missing Favre? So you can watch him get intercepted and sacked while he loves the game?

  30. 30.

    Tim

    December 7, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    No pictures of assfoaming Tunch?

  31. 31.

    Midnight Marauder

    December 7, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    (I lost interest in the game and my book)

    I suggest you reconsider, Mr. Cole, as we’re in for a mighty fine 4th quarter.

    +3

  32. 32.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 7, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    @asiangrrlMN: Rodgers is killing us with his feet. I think we’d have more success against Favre.

    Missed field goal, haha.

  33. 33.

    shoutingattherain

    December 7, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    Well, time to get naked and clean that shit up.

  34. 34.

    John O

    December 7, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    LOL, CS.

    But ya gotta lighten up. A Tunchcentric book would sell at least a 100 to 1000 copies. The Tunch is highly photogenic, and plus an obvious perfect cat.

    Good combo.

  35. 35.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Yes. I would agree. But but but, Brett Favre! Love of the game! Gunslingin’ ways!

  36. 36.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 7, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    @shoutingattherain: lolz

  37. 37.

    Midnight Marauder

    December 7, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    If it was National Can Haz Edit Day, you can haz no edit today.

  38. 38.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    @shoutingattherain: OK, ass-rabies did not make me laugh out loud, but your comment did. Heh.

  39. 39.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 7, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:
    I only miss him when he’s a gunslinger.

    ETA (because I haz no edit): I think the refs have lost control of this game.

  40. 40.

    donovong

    December 7, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Like it would kill you to grab the camera before you worry about cleaning up the mess? Sheesh.

  41. 41.

    Nazgul35

    December 7, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    Cat-ass rabies has to go in the lexicon!

  42. 42.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Are you fucking with me about the edit? As for Favre, you can haz. I rather haz edit. Or ass-foaming Tunchie pics.

  43. 43.

    Martin

    December 7, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    John, that’s totally the wrong way to wash a cat. Washing machine is much better equipped to catch the fur without clogging the drain.

  44. 44.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 7, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I can haz edit in Chrome?

  45. 45.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 7, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Um, no. I haz a sad.

  46. 46.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: Yeah! I had it in Chrome all the time and then, boom! No editz. I haz a big sad. If I had snow, I would haz a happeeeee!

  47. 47.

    TaosJohn

    December 7, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    Foaming cats are serious business. The very mention of this has prompted me to republish a gruesome blog classic. Probably no one should read this, but now you will, and you’ll regret it.

    In other news, Herr Cole is in the zone on Twitter, and I sure wouldn’t want to cross him.

  48. 48.

    jwb

    December 7, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    @asiangrrlMN, @arguingwithsignposts: What, edit disappeared? Say it ain’t so!

  49. 49.

    Morbo

    December 7, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    I hereby christen this game the Pass Interference Bowl.

  50. 50.

    Comrade Mary

    December 7, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    John, is someone tinkering with the site’s back end? Search results are really patchy, too. A search on “Obama” has a few posts from today, something from December 6, then skips right over to December 4, even though intervening posts do include the term.

    NoScript isn’t showing that goosegrade was switched back on, so it must be something else.

  51. 51.

    jwb

    December 7, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    @jwb: Edit did go bye-bye. I haz a big sad, too.

  52. 52.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 7, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    @jwb:

    yeah, and it was fixed. Must be a new javascript. I got it on nuthin’

  53. 53.

    John Cole

    December 7, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    Yep. Dishwasher blew up. Just finished cleaning.

    I’m off to bed before any other appliances kill themselves.

  54. 54.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    @John Cole: Pictures, Cole, and then you can sleep soundly.

  55. 55.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Woohoo, Proofread is back!!!

  56. 56.

    Midnight Marauder

    December 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    What a terrible, terrible, terrible throw by Joe Flacco. Wow.

    Just…wow. What a terrible decision.

  57. 57.

    jwb

    December 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: I don’t have it on Firefox, this is an attempt on Safari.

  58. 58.

    Comrade Mary

    December 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    No pics, eh?

  59. 59.

    Pigs & Spiders

    December 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    This thread is full of win.

  60. 60.

    shoutingattherain

    December 7, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    John, is someone tinkering with the site’s back end?

    The site haz ass-rabies?

  61. 61.

    jwb

    December 7, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    Nope, no edit on Safari either, and I’ve had it on Safari ever since the last rebuild.

  62. 62.

    Morbo

    December 7, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @Midnight Marauder: That was a knife in my fantasy gut. I’ve miraculously stayed in contention with GB shutting down Ray Rice, but pretty much only a pick 6 will save me now.

  63. 63.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @shoutingattherain: Oh my god. I am cracking the fuck up here.

  64. 64.

    Martin

    December 7, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    And again, Fallows straightens the sheets.

  65. 65.

    Keith G

    December 7, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    Letterman’s Tiger jokes were worth the wait.

  66. 66.

    JR

    December 7, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    When Tunch finally decides to kill you, rest assured you will NOT receive a warning.

  67. 67.

    Midnight Marauder

    December 7, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    @Morbo:

    That was a knife in my fantasy gut. I’ve miraculously stayed in contention with GB shutting down Ray Rice, but pretty much only a pick 6 will save me now.

    Well, that most certainly can not help you, or the Baltimore Ravens. Yikes! Joe Flacco, what are you doing? Good thing you’re my third string fantasy QB (Tony Romo, Alex Smith, holla back!).

  68. 68.

    Pigs & Spiders

    December 7, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    John, when Tunch decides to kill you, do you think he’ll go after us as retribution for our Tunch-Fat-Jokes?

  69. 69.

    Morbo

    December 7, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    @JR: He should never have shown the ninja cat video.

  70. 70.

    Comrade Mary

    December 7, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    @shoutingattherain: Ha! Excellent pickup on a straight line that HUNG OUT THERE BEGGING FOR IT FOR 10 WHOLE COMMENTS.

    People! Don’t make shoutingattherain do all the work. We’re an autonomous collective, damn it.

  71. 71.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    @Pigs & Spiders: Hey, I have never poked fun at Tunchie’s Rubenesque shape, so I should be safe. I luuuurv Tunchie!

  72. 72.

    Brian J

    December 7, 2009 at 11:49 pm

    @maye:

    Well, it was that over the counter Unisom stuff, so perhaps I’d be different with a prescription.

  73. 73.

    Brian J

    December 7, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    @Joshua Norton:

    A friend from college tried this when a bunch of us lived together senior. This, combined with the fact that the dishwasher was half loaded with a sink full of stuff, would normally be enough proof that he wasn’t too helpful to his mother at home, but junior year, he asked me and another friend if a dish strainer was for clean or dirty dishes, and that takes the cake.

  74. 74.

    Comrade Mary

    December 7, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    @TaosJohn: Oh, Jesus. That poor beast. You did what you had to do.

  75. 75.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    @Brian J: By the way, how did the LSAT go? When do you find out the results?

  76. 76.

    Pigs & Spiders

    December 7, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    @asiangrrlMN: Do we REALLY think Tunch will be that discriminating? My guess is that if your IP shows up in the BJ archives anywhere, you’ll be Tunch-meat before we even here of John’s demise. Lily will be the only one to survive the Tunch-ocalypse.

  77. 77.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 7, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    @Pigs & Spiders: Oh, crap. But but but, I haz cats! They will testify on my behalf! I’ve proposed to Tunch! He knows of my undying love! Spare me, oh great Tunchinator!

  78. 78.

    shoutingattherain

    December 8, 2009 at 12:01 am

    @Comrade Mary:

    I can hit a hanging curve, just as long as it’s not curving too much or going to fast. I appreciate the fat juicy ones.

    Huh?

  79. 79.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    December 8, 2009 at 12:01 am

    Ken and Barbie killers? Did they not have anatomically correct bodies?

  80. 80.

    Robertdsc-iphone

    December 8, 2009 at 12:06 am

    Dishwashers, feh. I prefer to hand wash everything.

  81. 81.

    Anne Laurie

    December 8, 2009 at 12:07 am

    @shoutingattherain:

    John, is someone tinkering with the site’s back end?
    The site haz ass-rabies?

    Okay, that made me LOL.

  82. 82.

    Corner Stone

    December 8, 2009 at 12:09 am

    @Pigs & Spiders:

    John, when Tunch decides to kill you, do you think he’ll go after us as retribution for our Tunch-Fat-Jokes?

    Well, number 1 – he sure as hell ain’t coming after us on foot.
    Number 2 – he probably can’t afford to buy the extra seat the airlines would charge him to fly.
    Number 3 – my county doesn’t provide mass (and I do mean “mass”) transit.
    So, I’m good.

  83. 83.

    Comrade Mary

    December 8, 2009 at 12:10 am

    It’s really pathetic to laugh out loud when you’re sitting in front of a computer with no one else around. But beyond the embarrassment, Corner Stone has restored my faith in our autonomous collective. Huzzah!

  84. 84.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    December 8, 2009 at 12:21 am

    OMG, I need to give up on work and holiday functions and just sit around and read B-J. Best laugh I had all day. Ass-rabies, killer Tunch, appearing and disappearing edit functions. It’s a laugh a minute here.

    John, sorry things are crazy in your neighborhood. But at least you have Lily to love you and Tunch to torment you.

    @asiangrrlMN: You are welcome to all my snow and Arctic temps. :-(

  85. 85.

    freelancer (itouch)

    December 8, 2009 at 12:34 am

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    Ditto. We’re forecast to get 6″ tomorrow. Asiangrrl can have it all as far as I’m concerned.

  86. 86.

    VladCat

    December 8, 2009 at 12:48 am

    As soon as I hit “ass-rabies” I started hacking up a lung.

    Beware and use this tag most wisely!

  87. 87.

    Jason Bylinowski

    December 8, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I remember in college, we ran out of dish detergent, and so I got the freaking awesome idea to just put in two generous squirts of Dawn, because you know, it’s takes grease out of the way, right?

    That was a long evening.

  88. 88.

    Yutsano

    December 8, 2009 at 1:17 am

    @Jason Bylinowski: I swear the number of friends in college I helped clean up that mess! It’s almost a rite of passage for college-aged males. But you have to admit in the passage of time it’s hilarious.

  89. 89.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 8, 2009 at 1:22 am

    @Yutsano: Hi, honey! You’re home. How you be?

    I will take ALL the snow I can get. And, bed. To where I am now headed. Alas.

  90. 90.

    cmorenc

    December 8, 2009 at 1:22 am

    John:

    So your dishwasher broke. I had a root canal today. Wanna trade? Didn’t think so.

  91. 91.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 8, 2009 at 1:29 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Soon to bed. First, I have to find out how my FH#2 is doing.

  92. 92.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 8, 2009 at 1:38 am

    @Yutsano: OK. The wall hit me before I hit it, so I’m outie. Night, hot stuff.

  93. 93.

    Yutsano

    December 8, 2009 at 1:46 am

    @asiangrrlMN: I done told you to watch those durn walls! Such is life.

    I’m in some trouble at work. Apparently if I know what’s good for me I need to produce some cookies there as well. I think I’m gonna be stuck in the kitchen this whole weekend off.

  94. 94.

    jl

    December 8, 2009 at 3:01 am

    OK, so lemme get this straight. Tunch effing saves Cole from a blowing up dishwasher. He emerges from the disaster covered in fricken foam, nearly drowned and suffocated.

    And, Cole accuses poor Tunch of trying to kill him. Again.

    No good deed goes unpunished.

    He saved Lily too, and I bet she at least has the courtesy to be grateful. She’ll probably try to sniff hm again and get swatted, or perhaps true love will finally bloom.

    But, for shame, John Cole.

  95. 95.

    OriGuy

    December 8, 2009 at 3:07 am

    Freeze warning tonight in San Jose. Ran out and covered the plants. Expecting black ice on the roads tomorrow and no one around here is used to that. I should have brought my work computer home to work here tomorrow.

  96. 96.

    Dave in ME

    December 8, 2009 at 3:11 am

    This post is useless without pictures! :)

  97. 97.

    Ruckus

    December 8, 2009 at 3:42 am

    @shoutingattherain:
    I would have been able to hit that pitch I swear I would have but I leave the computer for what, an hour to eat dinner and this is what happens, an out of the park homer.

  98. 98.

    Ruckus

    December 8, 2009 at 3:43 am

    @Ruckus:
    And it’s game over.
    I also swear I had edit yesterday. I also swear about a lot of things.

  99. 99.

    Mentis Fugit

    December 8, 2009 at 4:58 am

    “cat-ass rabies”?!

    Worst Turd NuggetTed Nugent song ever!

  100. 100.

    MikeJ

    December 8, 2009 at 5:11 am

    news:

    The lawmakers said they are also confident that the House will include in the annual military spending bill next year a provision to repeal the law that bans gays from serving in the U.S. military.

  101. 101.

    robertdsc-PowerBook & 27 titles

    December 8, 2009 at 5:12 am

    In one area of my workplace, it’s 59 degrees inside at 2:07 AM Pacific. The digital printers are shut down for the night but it’s really, really, really cold in that area of the shop. Where I am, in the color area, it’s a comparatively balmy 68 degrees.

    Tomorrow I start The Fountainhead after finishing up the previous book I was reading. I asked in an earlier thread about the reading “order” for Ayn Rand’s books and I wanted to thank everyone for supplying the relevant info.

  102. 102.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    December 8, 2009 at 5:17 am

    I loled my ass of at “ass rabies”, which made me think of a cat attacking with a foamy ass and instead of getting bitten it shits on you and you die.

    It’s clear that Tunch destroyed the dishwasher since he was discovered with the evidence on his ass. ;)

    @OriGuy:

    It’s 27 degrees here on the south Oregon coast (like 200 feet away from it!) and I see via ODOT that it’s -35 at one place about 20 miles outside of Bend.

    Positively balmy!

  103. 103.

    MikeJ

    December 8, 2009 at 5:49 am

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal): Thermometer here near Seattle says 19°, which is too fucking cold for Seattle.

    On the plus side, the clear skies that are making it so cold allowed me to see a brilliant meteor about 5am yesterday.

  104. 104.

    valdivia

    December 8, 2009 at 5:54 am

    so late to this but I am still laughing at the image of Tunch marching out of the kitchen with foam and you immediately thinking he was going to devour you. Defamation! ;-)

  105. 105.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    December 8, 2009 at 6:15 am

    @MikeJ:

    Yup, clear skies here too but no comets spotted, nor am I watching…lol! We had to finally turn the heat on two days ago as the house was dropping below 70. Usually we go most of the year without heat as the house is always 70 or above, with the rare dips like this one.

    We use two rack servers in the lower part of the house as heat, those and the eight APC 1000 & 1400 units around the house help keep us warm without additional heat.

    Information technology, it informs and keeps your house warm!

  106. 106.

    MikeJ

    December 8, 2009 at 6:32 am

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal): I used to have a 22″ crt in my bedroom, kept it toasty warm. The week it hit 100 here over the summer I finally got rid of it and got a bigger flat screen and now I’m freezing.

  107. 107.

    Bubba Dave

    December 8, 2009 at 6:39 am

    @MikeJ: I had two 19″ CRTs– when I retired them my cats missed their buttwarmers so badly they’d have gotten the foamy ass-rabies if they’d known how. As long as I have the Mac Pro under my desk my feet will never be cold, though!

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):
    (I bet my Apple Network Server 500 would do a good job of keeping the guest room warm, but it’s currently unplugged and serving as a bedside table instead.)

  108. 108.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    December 8, 2009 at 7:13 am

    @Bubba Dave:

    Our temps range between the mid-40’s to mid-60’s in the winter and mid-50’s to mid-70’s in the summer, with occasional deviations like now. If I remember correctly the last time we were this cold this early was in the late 90’s, it doesn’t happen often.

    CRTs are great heaters, the bigger the better. We are all LCD here but I still have a mint 21″ Sony CPD-G500 monitor that I bought in early 2002 and still use on occasion. Nice monitor, especially for gaming.

    Those PowerPC based systems put out decent heat but you would have to find a reason to fire that dinosaur up! I have two Proliant DL580s that are fully loaded and generate plenty of heat when under load. The fans are temp enabled so you can tell when they are really working when they sound like 747s taking off. On the rare occasion they are off we always remark on the silence.

  109. 109.

    WereBear

    December 8, 2009 at 7:20 am

    Now my laptop has foam coming out of it.

    I’ve never nagged John about the site before… but this is too much.

  110. 110.

    Randy P

    December 8, 2009 at 7:27 am

    @Joshua Norton:

    The mess created is right up there with the time I thought you could use liquid dish soap as a substitute for dishwasher detergent. Turns out you can’t.

    Is this a guy thing? I hate to play into the doofy husband stereotype. I’m not a complete domestic incompetent. But I did the dish soap in the dishwasher thing once too. I called the resulting kitchen full of foam my “I Love Lucy” moment. It was hysterical, but I thought that kind of visual only happens in sitcoms.

    As for killer cats, I thought everybody knows the way they’re going to get you is by hiding on the stairs in the dark and making you fall down and break your neck. Ours is definitely studying how to perfect this method.

  111. 111.

    Randy P

    December 8, 2009 at 7:34 am

    OK, after reading the other comments I realize the dish soap thing is indeed a guy thing. And I was a lot older than college when I did it. A married guy with kids.

    Why is this? How do girls know this stuff? When is the secret ritual where they teach them stuff? I know it happens somewhere after 16. Teenage girls can be just as harebrained as guys. But somewhere by the age of 21 or so they seem to become vastly more competent at… well… EVERYTHING. It’s a little scary.

    My younger daughter just came home and pretty much cleaned the whole house before Thanksgiving, confirming my theories. This is a kid whose months-old dishes I was still discovering long after she left.

  112. 112.

    Brian J

    December 8, 2009 at 7:47 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    [knock on wood] I don’t think it was that bad. I didn’t have that usual feeling of dread that we all can have when we screwed up, but that could always mean that I just have misplaced confidence. Still, considering I switched my mind at the last minute and actually sat for the test, I felt relaxed, alert, focused, and just…better than I had been feeling.

    At this point, if I got a score I needed, I wouldn’t really care if I had to delay law school an entire year, just as long as I didn’t have to take that test again. I’m tired of thinking about it.

  113. 113.

    shoutingattherain

    December 8, 2009 at 8:01 am

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):
    At the moment it’s a toasty -11F here in Bend. I’ve been up a few times in the night feeding the woodstove and flushing toilets. We had a pipe bust a couple years ago, and we don’t want to go thru that mess again. It was way worse than an exploding dishwasher.

  114. 114.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    December 8, 2009 at 8:06 am

    @Randy P:

    I’m one of those guys who always knew that the detergent for machines was designed to minimize foaming. Call me curious but I saw that they were sold separately and had to find out why. Later in high school I took Home Ec as I figured that I was going to be a bachelor for a while and everything I learned would make it easier. I was razzed for taking Home Ec but the guys shut up when I pointed out that I was the only guy in a classroom full of chicks. That worked out great as in my senior year I was chosen as the teachers aide for Girls Auto shop. That was interesting, to say the least.

    Other guys, including friends, started taking Home Ec after I blazed the trail for them.

  115. 115.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    December 8, 2009 at 8:08 am

    @shoutingattherain:

    The ODOT Trip Check site shows that US 20 at Horse Ridge near you is -36 now. That is f’ing cold! The coldest I have experienced was -43 and that was something to remember.

    Keep warm!

  116. 116.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    December 8, 2009 at 8:11 am

    @Randy P: Hey, hey, hey. It isn’t a guy thing. The reason I know about the liquid thing is my MOM threw some in there not once, but twice. She called the maintenance guy after the second reenactment of the Brady Bunch episode where Bobby washes his clothes in our kitchen. He saw the dish washing liquid bottle, noted we had no dw powder and kindly explained the problem.

    I bet he had to go sit down for a while after he left our apartment. Lucky bastard. I got sent to my room for laughing.

  117. 117.

    AkaDad

    December 8, 2009 at 8:43 am

    If John writes a book about Tunch, one of the chapters HAS to be titled The Paw of Doom.

  118. 118.

    RedKitten

    December 8, 2009 at 8:54 am

    OT, but if any nutbars you know have been yammering on about the War on Christmas(tm), please feel free to forward this link to them.

    Why is this? How do girls know this stuff? When is the secret ritual where they teach them stuff? I know it happens somewhere after 16. Teenage girls can be just as harebrained as guys. But somewhere by the age of 21 or so they seem to become vastly more competent at… well… EVERYTHING. It’s a little scary.

    Subconscious learning. That’s the only theory I can think of. We see our parents (or other parents) doing this stuff throughout our entire lives, and even if we make absolutely no effort to learn it, it still lodges there, in the back of the brain, available for when it’s truly needed.

  119. 119.

    RedKitten

    December 8, 2009 at 9:00 am

    So I’m sitting watching the Ken and Barbie Killers on Biography

    Ugh — I can’t believe you were watching a movie about those two. The fact that that evil, evil, bitch, Karla Holmolka, is now walking around free should go down as one of the most shameful moments in Canadian history.

  120. 120.

    Legalize

    December 8, 2009 at 9:08 am

    I think what happened is that the dishwasher malfunction actually saved Cole from being killed by Tunch. It’s always safe to assume benevolent appliance intervention over the good will of a cat.

  121. 121.

    R-Jud

    December 8, 2009 at 9:43 am

    @RedKitten:

    Subconscious learning. That’s the only theory I can think of. We see our parents (or other parents) doing this stuff throughout our entire lives, and even if we make absolutely no effort to learn it, it still lodges there, in the back of the brain, available for when it’s truly needed.

    There’s that, but there’s also the constant stream of messages from a variety of sources telling us gals that competence and management in the household is what ladies do. There is also the constant stream of sexist and degrading messages telling you gentlemen that when it comes to operating your own household appliances or caring for your children, your brains no more work good.

    I am a touch more sensitive about the latter now that Mr Jud is a stay-at-home dad.

  122. 122.

    Svensker

    December 8, 2009 at 10:04 am

    @Randy P:

    The mess created is right up there with the time I thought you could use liquid dish soap as a substitute for dishwasher detergent. Turns out you can’t.
    …..
    Is this a guy thing?

    No. No, it’s not.

  123. 123.

    Svensker

    December 8, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Blockquote fail. No edit. FYWP.

  124. 124.

    Randy P

    December 8, 2009 at 10:14 am

    @R-Jud:

    We try not to reinforce those stereotypes in our house, but tradition is hard to fight. My wife is better at cooking for instance and does most of it around our house. I don’t mind the act of cooking and I’m competent at it, but I hate the part where you stand in front of the cupboard trying to figure out what you can do that’s interesting with that stuff.

    Actually, we have an interesting sort of mind-meld thing going on with the food. I do most of the shopping. I enjoy it and I’m better at it. But I don’t shop with any kind of menu in mind. It’s more like “ooh, good price on that” or “we haven’t had that in a while” or “that looks interesting”. And then she surprises me by what she does with what I bought, because I had no idea what I was going to do with it once I got it home.

  125. 125.

    bystander

    December 8, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Hoo-boy! After reading about the dishwasher and the bitchin cat, trying not to choke on suppressed laughter, it occurred to me that the thread would probably do me in. And, sure enough – ass-rabies. I’m sure I’ll be able to stop laughing sometime next week. Thanks all.

  126. 126.

    Gravenstone

    December 8, 2009 at 11:13 am

    @shoutingattherain:

    At the moment it’s a toasty -11F here in Bend. I’ve been up a few times in the night feeding the woodstove and flushing toilets. We had a pipe bust a couple years ago, and we don’t want to go thru that mess again. It was way worse than an exploding dishwasher.

    Just turn one of the bathroom faucets that the furthest away from your water source on to a slow trickle. That should be enough to keep water circulating and reduce the potential for freezing.

  127. 127.

    Gravenstone

    December 8, 2009 at 11:19 am

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):

    Later in high school I took Home Ec as I figured that I was going to be a bachelor for a while and everything I learned would make it easier. I was razzed for taking Home Ec but the guys shut up when I pointed out that I was the only guy in a classroom full of chicks. That worked out great as in my senior year I was chosen as the teachers aide for Girls Auto shop. That was interesting, to say the least.

    My HS actually had a Home Ec class tailored for the guys. This being way back in the Dark Ages of the late 70’s. We made donuts for the annual FHA sale. We also got to watch The Miracle of Life, which was amusing for getting the chance to see one poor guy so shaken by what was shown during the birth scene that he nearly fainted.

  128. 128.

    Tax Analyst

    December 8, 2009 at 11:23 am

    John Cole: That’s a hilarious story and your description made it even more hysterical. Yeah, “sauntered” and the “foam on his tail and hind quarters” gives us just a wonderful picture image – fantastically enhanced by Mary O’s query about “cat ass-rabies”.

  129. 129.

    Tax Analyst

    December 8, 2009 at 11:27 am

    @#20 John O said:

    My grandfather, juvenile diabetic life underwriter (how long you gonna live? I’ll check it out and price it for you), had since I was a kid prepared us for his death. By the time I was five years old I had seen him wrestled into sucrose-submission.

    His first major living alone faux-pas, as it were/is, was putting a bunch of regular dish detergent into an automatic dishwasher, FSM rest his soul. He was completely dependent on Gramma for that kind of thing.

    With my Dad it was when he went to cook some eggs for himself. He went to spray some of that non-stick cooking stuff, like “Pam” on the frying pan but somehow grabbed the Glade Air Freshener (“Lilac” scent, I believe) and was taken quite by surprise when the pan ignited when he turned the flame on. Fortunately, he was not harmed and the only thing damaged was the frying pan. But that was the last time he tried to cook anything he couldn’t nuke in the micro-wave.

  130. 130.

    Tax Analyst

    December 8, 2009 at 11:28 am

    …Darn those ever-pesky “b-quote” functions. I thought I had them figured out.

  131. 131.

    R-Jud

    December 8, 2009 at 11:37 am

    @Randy P: Stereotypes definitely are hard to fight: I still do most of the cooking around here, not only because my husband is a guy, but also because he is English and was raised in the ’70s, and generally tends to boil or roast all components of a given meal to a uniform grey.

    He’s making an effort to learn some stuff from me– I am not the greatest cook in the universe (that would be my sister), but my parents ran a restaurant when I was a kid, so I learned some solid cooking skills as well as creative use of what’s available/what’s left over. He makes a nice chicken katsu curry and has learned, at nearly 42 years old, that there’s more to life than baked beans on toast.

    We do plan menus before we shop. Like you, I hate standing in front of the cabinet with a growling stomach, trying to think of what to do.

  132. 132.

    Lex

    December 8, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I say to myself, “This is where finally he kills me. I thought it would be years from now.”

    Whereas the rest of us thought you’d simply die alone in your hovel and Tunch would survive on your remains until some sympathetic passerby heard his howls of indigestion. :-)

  133. 133.

    Tax Analyst

    December 8, 2009 at 11:49 am

    @114 DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) said:

    @Randy P:
    …Later in high school I took Home Ec as I figured that I was going to be a bachelor for a while and everything I learned would make it easier. I was razzed for taking Home Ec but the guys shut up when I pointed out that I was the only guy in a classroom full of chicks.

    Similar experience for me – in the 12th grade I had an epiphany – I really didn’t want to go to tax my brain any more – I was sure I was gonna get drafted and have my ass shot off in Viet-nam – so I sure as hell didn’t want to have to deal with tons of difficult homework and studying to do every frickin’ night. So on the first day of the new School year I raised my hand in my 3rd period “Spanish 8” class and told the teacher (in English) that I appeared to be in the wrong class and went down the Admin building and dropped everything I could that involved having a book. So I traded something like “Trig” in for “Boy’s Foods” and dropped 5th and 6th periods and signed up for “Work Experience”, which allowed me to cut out at lunch time and go down to my father’s business and hang out and work if they had anything for me to do. Anyway, it turned out no other boy had signed up for it, so they put me in with the “Girl’s Foods” class. I never did learn how to cook, though. But I got sort of a primer-type introduction to “A Man’s Household Duties, 1”. Yeah, “Me Big-Strong Man, lift things, tote things, reach high where woman cannot”, etc.

    It was a lot of fun.

    P.S. – I ended up going to college anyway…and promptly proceeded to screw off and cut about 75% of my classes as a prelude to dropping out. Never did get drafted either. Still ended up with an Egg-head job, but it took me quite a while to get there.

    Funny how things work out sometimes.

  134. 134.

    pcbedamned

    December 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    I am going to have to come back to this thread later I think in order to get the full impact of the hilarity. I got as far as

    watching the Ken and Barbie Killers on Biography

    and then got a very cold chill up my spine. Any of the Canadians on this board will know exactly what I mean, especially if they are from Ontario…
    BBS.

  135. 135.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 8, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    @Yutsano: Cookies make everything better. And, walls suck. And, not in a good way.

  136. 136.

    D-Chance.

    December 8, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    A single man has no need for a dishwasher, Cole. A small bottle of Dawn and 30 seconds of faucet water…

  137. 137.

    Comrade Mary

    December 8, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    … a sad duck covered with oil, a video camera and a copywriter, and you’re all set for stardom in the environmental movement.

    Also: chicks love ducks.

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