• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

You cannot shame the shameless.

The willow is too close to the house.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

We still have time to mess this up!

This blog will pay for itself.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Sports / 13-3 Browns Leading At the Half

13-3 Browns Leading At the Half

by John Cole|  December 10, 20099:48 pm| 49 Comments

This post is in: Sports

FacebookTweetEmail

Five sacks, stupid penalties, no offense, we can’t stop the run, and are being outgained by a wide margin in total yardage by the worst team in the NFL (although now that we are poised to lose to the Browns, have lost to the Raiders and the Chiefs, we might own that title now).

This about sums up the mood in the Cole household:

It isn’t just that we are losing, but that we are just really, really bad. I mean, bad as in Pirates bad, where it isn’t even fun to watch the game.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Ayn Rand both night and day
Next Post: Open Thread: Thursday Night Menu Edition »

Reader Interactions

49Comments

  1. 1.

    The Dangerman

    December 10, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    I grew up a Rams fan and someone claiming the title of “Worst Team” without talking about the Lambs, er, Rams is just plain wrong.

  2. 2.

    Bubblegum Tate

    December 10, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    The Steelers have given up on this season. As have I. Fuckin’ fuckers.

  3. 3.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    I mean, bad as in Pirates bad…

    It is not possible.

  4. 4.

    James K. Polk, Esq.

    December 10, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    As a Raiders fan, to you I say:

    Who won that Super Bowl last year?

    Cheer up, Buttercup. It could MUCH worse (trust me).

  5. 5.

    J.W. Hamner

    December 10, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    Dammit! I hate how this site makes me empathize with Steeler fans… it’s like you’re real people or something. But, yeah, the Ravens suck too.

  6. 6.

    The Dangerman

    December 10, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    Rams: PF: 139 PA: 314

    Browns: PF: 145 PA: 309

    Until the Rams can score another TD (yeah, as if), I rest my case.

  7. 7.

    wmsheppa

    December 10, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    Very rarely have I ever considered turning off a Steelers game, but Dragon Age is looking a lot better right now than the Steelers are… is there one positive about this game? I can’t think of it.

  8. 8.

    phantomist

    December 10, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    When you feel exactly like you do right now, for 52 years…….

    Lions Fan

  9. 9.

    Keith G

    December 10, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    John, step away from the pigskin. Take up curling.

  10. 10.

    J. Michael Neal

    December 10, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    although now that we are poised to lose to the Browns, have lost to the Raiders and the Chiefs, we might own that title now

    Any chance you could schedule a game against the Lions for sometime in the next couple of weeks? We could use the pick-me-up.

    None of you clowns should be trying to claim the title of Worst Team Ever. If your team has won more than one (1) playoff game in the last 50 years, you aren’t worth talking about. Even the Cardinals managed to eliminate themselves from the running last year, though the Kitties would still have won the tiebreaker by managing to lose 16 games in a single season.

  11. 11.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    At least the Steelers came out strong in the second half. Showing me a lot of pride.

  12. 12.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:

    Right. I’m a Cubs fan. I take no quarter with being tortured as a sports fan.

    You have no idea.

  13. 13.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    Shoot, I was snarking in my last comment, and now the Steelers actually ARE showing me some team integrity. They are, after all, going to get good field position.

  14. 14.

    The Dangerman

    December 10, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    @John O:

    I’m a Cubs fan.

    About the time I started rooting for the Cubs, along came Bartman. I almost feel responsible.

    Did that poor bastard have to go into Witness Protection after all?

  15. 15.

    wmsheppa

    December 10, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    @phantomist I roomed with a Lions fan on and off for four years, and never really appreciated what he was going through… though at least he had no expectations.

  16. 16.

    J. Michael Neal

    December 10, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    @wmsheppa: Look at it this way. We had one of the three greatest running backs in NFL history, and couldn’t win a playoff game with him. Then the team decided to make everyone try out for their jobs all over again, and he decided he had better things to do with his life than set the all time rushing yardage record.

    The worst part is, Sanders was right. He had much better things to do with his life than play for the Lions.

  17. 17.

    Svensker

    December 10, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Hey, Kellen Clemens is going to QB the Jets this Sunday. That should make the Steelers look like playoff champs by comparison.

  18. 18.

    mr. whipple

    December 10, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    It isn’t just that we are losing, but that we are just really, really bad. I mean, bad as in Pirates bad, where it isn’t even fun to watch the game.

    It’s just that sort of defeatist attitude we look for when we recruit to swell our ranks.

    / cleveland fan

  19. 19.

    New Yorker

    December 10, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    Well, as much as Roethlisberger’s disastrous night is probably going to end my season way too early in one fantasy football league (playoffs start this week), at least my opponent has him in the other league.

  20. 20.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    @The Dangerman:

    He actually moved out of the city, I remember that. Had to suck to be him, but he should have had more presence of mind.

  21. 21.

    Tom

    December 10, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    I can’t believe the Browns are up 10 on anyone. I went to the Browns/Bears game earlier this season. There Bears played terribly; repeatedly booed by the fans. Yet they still won by 30.

    Then again, Anderson was quarterback then, so maybe that’s the difference.

  22. 22.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    From the previous NFL thread, I posted this:

    @Toast:
    __

    After healthcare reform gets done, I think Congress’ next priority should be passing legislation that outlaws DirecTV’s “exclusivity” arrangement for the NFL Sunday Ticket.

    __
    No, their next priority should be straightening out the BCS. But given their track record, I’d expect a triggered playoff with an opt-out.

  23. 23.

    bernini

    December 10, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    Seriously, bring back Dock Ellis:

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6b71020f4b/dock-ellis-the-lsd-no-no

  24. 24.

    wmsheppa

    December 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    @J. Michael Neal: Don’t get me wrong, you guys get a lifetime achievement award for futility.

    It’s not like we couldn’t theoretically come back from this… but when we’re doing our best Pirates imitation, I’m not optimistic.

    At least when Bonds ditched the Pirates for greener fields, he promptly ruined his legacy… that took some of the sting out of it.

  25. 25.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    *switching to South Park reruns*

    awsp, that was funny, and deserved to be moved up.

  26. 26.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    And am immediately treated to the classic “Guitar Hero/Heroin Addict” episode!

    My first good call of the night.

    +4 but holding. Gotta get stuff done tomorrow.

  27. 27.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    @John O:
    Okay, now I gotta check out the SP reruns. Thanks for the tip.

  28. 28.

    BruceFromOhio

    December 10, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    it isn’t even fun to watch the game.

    If you can WATCH the flucking game. TimeWarner is having trouble tying the fishing line to the beer cans in this wind, and I’m chasing web links.

  29. 29.

    J. Michael Neal

    December 10, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    @John O: Oh, bullshit. This self-pitying myth that Cubs fans that Bartman cost them that game is ridiculous. For one thing, the ball was in the stands, and there’s no guarantee that Alou catches it anyway. It’s not like Steve Bartman was the only fan that tried to catch it; it was so obvious that they should leave the ball alone that about five fans were grabbing for it.

    I’d think that you’d be a lot better off blaming Sea Bass for the error, or the fact that your pitching staff couldn’t get anyone out. If you’re giving up doubles to Juan Pierre and Mike Mordecai, you deserve to lose, and blaming it on a fan shows that you’re gutless.

  30. 30.

    J. Michael Neal

    December 10, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    At least when Bonds ditched the Pirates for greener fields, he promptly ruined his legacy

    If you define “promptly” as almost a decade later.

  31. 31.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:

    I’d think that you’d be a lot better off blaming Sea Bass for the error, or the fact that your pitching staff couldn’t get anyone out. If you’re giving up doubles to Juan Pierre and Mike Mordecai, you deserve to lose, and blaming it on a fan shows that you’re gutless.

    I’m blaming it on the helicopters. They weren’t joking.

  32. 32.

    John O

    December 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    @J. Michael Neal:

    No, no, JMN, that’s all true, I get it. I question my own ability to clear everyone out so Alou could catch the ball, but after 100,000 viewings I’m pretty sure I could have, therefore he could have. One has to understand the moment. And the rest of the collapse is well documented.

    But competition is built on some degree of weirdness, luck, and karma in many cases, and I think that was one of them.

  33. 33.

    Fallsroad

    December 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Dear John,

    As a life long Washington fan (they really need to change the team nickname to something a little less racist) suffering through the Danny Snyder era, all I can offer you is this: your team has been stinking up the joint a bit this season, but fer chissakes, they won the big enchilada twice in very recent memory, and more importantly, ownership hates losing and will work intelligently to fix the problem.

    The same has not been true in DC, and will not be until Snyder removes himself from football decisions and fires Cerrato. This has approximately zero probability of happening.

    So buck up, young man, and try to remember that some of us are currently rooting for teams that truly do suck, top to bottom, year in and out.

  34. 34.

    mcd410x

    December 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm

    Did I just see the Stillers are 1 for 11 on third down? That’s not going to get it done.

  35. 35.

    scarshapedstar

    December 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Now you see what it was like to be a Saints fan in, well, any year that didn’t end in 09.

  36. 36.

    John Cole

    December 10, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    Just kill me.

  37. 37.

    General Winfield Stuck

    December 10, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    Shades of the Cardiac Kids.

  38. 38.

    nathaniel

    December 10, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    Rothlesburger might try stepping up in the pocket now and again rather waiting until he gets hit before making any attempt to evade the rush.

  39. 39.

    mr. whipple

    December 10, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    Shades of the Cardiac Kids.

    Well, that might be a bit of a stretch.

    But for as much fire as Mangenius is under, the players sure haven’t given up.

  40. 40.

    Bosch's Poodle

    December 10, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Looks like 5 straight. Quite possibly the worst team playing now.

  41. 41.

    General Winfield Stuck

    December 10, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    The Browns win this one and the 1 and 11 season is forgiven, at least for me.

  42. 42.

    D-Chance.

    December 10, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    Don’t you mean the Coale household, Jahn?

    Rock on.

  43. 43.

    John Cole

    December 10, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    @Bosch’s Poodle: Without question. They are just fundamentally bad and have no identity whatsoever.

    Let’s not minimize how well the Browns played. Their defense was dominant and their offense didn’t turn over the ball. Not that any of our secondary can catch, but still.

    We suck, but the Browns wanted it and played for it.

    I knew I should have bought a bottle of wine before tonight and that diet 7-Up would not cut it.

  44. 44.

    mr. whipple

    December 10, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    I wouldn’t go that far, but I think the D is fairly solid & with a couple playmakers could really improve.

    The O is some way off, but hope springs eternal.

  45. 45.

    General Winfield Stuck

    December 10, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    Thank you FSM

  46. 46.

    BruceFromOhio

    December 10, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    The Browns win this one and the 1 and 11 season is forgiven, at least for me.

    This.

    I regret it is at the expense of our fine host, and that it takes a 12-degree Thursday night with the windchill below zero for Da Browns to figure out how to put together an offense.

    @John Cole:

    … diet 7-Up would not cut it.

    I renew an earlier offer – should you ever find yourself in Cleveland, please allow me to ply you with the wares of this establishment. It’s the very least I can offer for your kind words.

  47. 47.

    Cyan

    December 10, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit reading Balloon Juice.

  48. 48.

    Gravenstone

    December 11, 2009 at 5:55 am

    @John O:

    He actually moved out of the city, I remember that. Had to suck to be him, but he should have had more presence of mind.

    As opposed to the three assholes immediately beside and behind him who were doing the same exact thing? If he doesn’t reach the ball, the knucklehead immediately to his right does. Yeah, we all like to think we’d have the presence of mind to restrain ourselves and let Alou make the play. Bullshit, we would all go for the souvenir – every motherless son of us.

    “Celebrating” 25 years of Cub fandom. May the gods have mercy on my poor, deluded soul…

  49. 49.

    Tom

    December 11, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Yeah, we all like to think we’d have the presence of mind to restrain ourselves and let Alou make the play. Bullshit, we would all go for the souvenir – every motherless son of us.

    I have a hard with this argument. I remember thinking prior to that play that there were only five outs until the series. If I’m in the front row and there’s a high pop up, the first thing I’m thinking is whether Alou can reach it or not. I’m watching him and I’m watching the ball. With a pop up like that, while it’s in the air, it’s very possible that it comes down in play.

    I really don’t think I would have gone for it. And I think Alou makes the play if Bartman didn’t go for it. I don’t blame him, I just think that’s the truth of the matter.

    It’s a shame that Bartman, not Alex Gonzalez, carries Leon Durham-esque infamy.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • narya on American Has Turned Upside Down (Mar 28, 2023 @ 10:33am)
  • Jackie on American Has Turned Upside Down (Mar 28, 2023 @ 10:33am)
  • Juju on American Has Turned Upside Down (Mar 28, 2023 @ 10:24am)
  • Spanish Moss on Squishable Early Morning Open Thread (Mar 28, 2023 @ 10:23am)
  • CaseyL on Spending distribution of low income ACA enrollees (Mar 28, 2023 @ 10:22am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!