Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

When I was faster i was always behind.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

“They all knew.”

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Books are my comfort food!

I would gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

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Reader Interactions

197Comments

  3. 3.

    jibeaux

    Makewi threatened to mercilessly mock me for volunteering during the week of 9/11, but it was neither merciless nor mocking. It didn’t even rise to that gummed-on-the-ankle-by-a-newt feel. Definitely disappointing. Didn’t even deter me from doing math with third graders. *

    (asterisk) you know what did, though? Third graders.

  5. 5.

    Morbo

    You have let me down by posting Seinfeld clips. Yes, I know, I am one of those weirdos. /prepares to be buffeted with indignation.

  6. 6.

    SGEW

    I would like all of you to take some time in the comments and tell everyone around you how they have let you down.

    You never posted my pet pic, Mr. Cole. I sent it to you years ago, on the very first day you requested them; and now she’s no longer the skinny l’il rescue kitty she once was (she is, in fact, a little . . . um . . . Tunchy nowadays). This. Is. A. Slap. In. The. Face. You threw my kitteh under the bus!

    . . .

    That particular grievance has been brewing for a while. Now, when do we have the feats of strength?

  7. 7.

    lamh32

    On one of last night’s thread, people were discussing Southern whites, well this is indicative of what me and my African american brethren realize about most whites, particularly those from the South but some in the North as well.

    White people you let me down, I’m not surprised, but still you let me down…discuss.

  8. 8.

    Irrelevant,YetPoignant

    “Stop crying and fight your father” is one of the finest lines in comedic history, imho.

  9. 9.

    GReynoldsCT00

    B.O.B won’t find another blog to troll…

    Oh, and Obama didn’t solve all the world’s problems by July…

  10. 10.

    kid bitzer

    well i refuse to play along, dammit.

    john, you and dougj and annie and tim have all exceeded expectations this last year. and you have collected an amazing bunch of commentators. i’ve had more good laughs here over the last year than possibly anywhere else. funny, funny times.

    also: lily. try to tell me with a straight face that she has let you down.

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    Sorry, not a Seinfeld fan. When I want to hear annoying whiners I just talk about how stupid a public option would be, or point out that Goldman Sachs were smart and fiscally responsible by buying insurance to cover risky investments.

  14. 14.

    RedKitten

    I’m highly disappointed in the sub-par efforts of our right-wing trolls. I feel like a cat who, trained on feisty rats, is now only presented with geriatric, three-legged mice.

  15. 15.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Big Fat Al, the Billy Graham of False Pantheism, and owner of foreign-based Generations Investment, Limited Liability Partnership, with David Blood, of Goldman Sachs (why not set up shop in America Vice President Al and Goldman-Dave?), teaches us:

    “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”

    I got all excited about this and the fact that you can also see Al’s house from space! Here is Al’s Commitment to Clients:

    “Our first commitment is to provide exceptional service to our clients. The best way to achieve this is to deliver superior long term performance.”

    But then I found out that the Internet was invented by Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee, so Al has let me down.

    I would like to box now.

  16. 16.

    Col. Klink

    Obama never got me my pony! Plus, we still have a severe recession. True, we were going headlong into the Great Depression part II and all of our allies had abandoned us before Obama took over, but where the Hell is my pony? Also. My free Swedish healthcare. Where is it?

  19. 19.

    joe from Lowell

    RedKitten

    I’m highly disappointed in the sub-par efforts of our right-wing trolls. I feel like a cat who, trained on feisty rats, is now only presented with geriatric, three-legged mice.
    15
    December 23rd, 2009 at 10:26 am
    Brick Oven Bill

    Big Fat Al, the Billy Graham of False Pantheism, and owner of foreign-based Generations Investment, Limited Liability Partnership, with David Blood, of Goldman Sachs (why not set up shop in America Vice President Al and Goldman-Dave?), teaches us:
    “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”
    I got all excited about this and the fact that you can also see Al’s house from space! Here is Al’s Commitment to Clients:
    “Our first commitment is to provide exceptional service to our clients. The best way to achieve this is to deliver superior long term performance.”
    But then I found out that the Internet was invented by Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee, so Al has let me down.

    I see what you mean, RedKitten. Al Gore and the internet? You’re not even trying.

  20. 20.

    TaosJohn

    Hell, I’ll start: Obama played everyone for a fool. Yes, it’s happened before — Nixon had a “plan” to end the war, etc. — but this empty suit millionaire played the heartstrings of tens of millions by advocating health insurance reform and gave us another industry bailout instead. Worse, it effectively precludes any meaningful improvement in the future. All the defenders of this dung-heap of a bill will rue the day they ever said anything in favor of it. All the happily insured thought people like me were just background noise and haven’t been paying attention. Hamsher is 100% on the mark.

    You can rail about Republicans and teabaggers all you want, but this man IS doing exactly the kind of damage the right wing is screaming about — only they don’t have the good sense to express the dynamics properly or analyze the cause. But their instincts are correct. (Hard to take, isn’t it?) They just don’t see yet that their own party are a bunch of corporate tools, too. But when they do…

    War, torture, spying, industry giveaways… Obama isn’t calling the shots. He never had any “shots.” He’s the shiny new face of the machine. I’m ashamed I ever voted, and you bet I’m going to spend the next three years tearing him down. Not scared of Republicans, either. Let them win again, so what? Maybe an honest liberal will emerge from “our” side eventually.

    And whether you agree with me or not, I’m part of a very Big Problem for these guys…

  21. 21.

    Betsy

    @SGEW:

    Now, when do we have the feats of strength?

    I dragged my ass out of bed this morning after consuming unholy quantities of delicious Italian food last night. That’s gotta count.

  24. 24.

    Persia

    The shelter gave my kitten away to someone before I could even figure out if it would make me sick.

    You assholes haven’t made me laugh since yesterday.

    Obama is still not Jesus as promised. Also.

  25. 25.

    Folderol and Ephemera

    @TaosJohn:

    I’m ashamed I ever voted, and you bet I’m going to spend the next three years tearing him down. Not scared of Republicans, either. Let them win again, so what? Maybe an honest liberal will emerge from “our” side eventually.

    Ralph Fucking Nader, 2000. Really worked out for us, didn’t it? Because, yeah, the last eight years would have been just the fucking same if Al Gore had been president.

  30. 30.

    JD Rhoades

    @Morbo:

    You have let me down by posting Seinfeld clips. Yes, I know, I am one of those weirdos.

    You are not alone. I could never watch more than 15 minutes of that show before feeling, like Twain said about Fenimore Cooper, that I “disliked some characters, was indifferent to others, and wished they would all get drowned together.”

  31. 31.

    Et Tu Brutus?

    I’ll give ya’all a pass IF you can name the author of this qoute:

    “Whenever I watch TV and see all those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

  32. 32.

    Joe

    Joe the Plumber really disappointed me. He has finally gone away. Why couldn’t he hitch on to the Palin book circus?

  34. 34.

    Robin G.

    I would like all of you to take some time in the comments and tell everyone around you how they have let you down. How this will differ from any other thread is beyond me.

    I knew the good mood wouldn’t last.

  35. 35.

    eemom

    @TaosJohn:

    You’re serious, aren’t you?

    Here’s one thing that hasn’t let ME down: the infinitude of the cluelessness of Hamsherbots, as evidenced by the placement of a comment like this one on an obviously humorous thread.

    Give it a fucking REST, already.

  37. 37.

    Comrade Jake

    @TaosJohn:

    Hell, I’ll start: Obama played everyone for a fool. Yes, it’s happened before—Nixon had a “plan” to end the war, etc.—but this empty suit millionaire played the heartstrings of tens of millions by advocating health insurance reform and gave us another industry bailout instead. Worse, it effectively precludes any meaningful improvement in the future. All the defenders of this dung-heap of a bill will rue the day they ever said anything in favor of it. All the happily insured thought people like me were just background noise and haven’t been paying attention. Hamsher is 100% on the mark.

    I assume this was phony? Please tell me this was phony. Isn’t there a Seinfeld episode about phonies?

  40. 40.

    JD Rhoades

    “Whenever I watch TV and see all those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

    Britney Spears?

  46. 46.

    Dave Fud

    It’s for the rest of us. Good lord, I didn’t know the rest of us included those people whose lawn we’re celebrating on.

    My grievance: I still don’t know what Bring on the Brawndo means even after consulting the Gizoogle and the Balloon Juice Lexicon.

    I’m willing to wrestle someone for the knowledge.

  49. 49.

    Comrade Jake

    “The difference between the two parties is amazing. Republicans spin losses into wins, Democrats spin wins into losses.”-John Cole

  51. 51.

    Et Tu Brutus?

    #40: Britney Spears? WRONG! You sir, have let me down by going for an obvious, media inspired answer to ‘one of least most important’ questions of the last 10 seconds

  52. 52.

    South of I-10

    @jeffreyw: Now that is just mean. I was just wondering if anyone in the office would notice if I slipped out to the diner around the corner for breakfast, and you go posting pics of pancakes.

    Also, it is December 23 and I have yet to receive a pony. I was promised a pony!

  55. 55.

    Zifnab

    I was promised unicorns and ponies and that we would all ride them together in unity.

    Now I get nothing. Nothing.

    You are all massive disappointments and I’m ashamed to know you.

  57. 57.

    Tomlinson

    @valdivia:

    Personally I would prefer to celebrate the Andean tradition of punching people who have disappointed you. Why can’t we have that here in the US?

    You don’t read DailyKos, do you.

  59. 59.

    Et Tu Brutus?

    #45: correct ( damn it, there always a smartass in the crowd to ruin all the fun), may you be absolved from all sin for the rest of the holiday season

  60. 60.

    jibeaux

    @Dave Fud:

    There is this movie called Idiocracy. It is not, technically speaking, a fantastic movie. But it has its charm. Brawndo is from this movie, and apparently is now an actual product. If I had known this before today, I could have gotten some more interesting Christmas presents. Oh well.

  61. 61.

    Zifnab

    @TaosJohn:

    And whether you agree with me or not, I’m part of a very Big Problem for these guys…

    PUMA now. PUMA forever.

    Palin / Bachman in 2012!~

  67. 67.

    BruceK

    I hereby submit two grievances.

    First, against the occupants of the office next door, separated by a glass door with zero soundproofing, who have been involved in shouted discussions for two months running.

    Second, against the Greek government. You think Washington is bad? Multiply that by about thirteen. That’s *before* you factor in things like relative population, which would leave you with a frustration factor of about eleventy-six kajillion.

  68. 68.

    danimal

    I’m let down that BJ is a bring your own outfit only. Absolutely none of you have shared when you are +anything. Boozehogs.

  71. 71.

    SGEW

    @Dave Fud:

    I still don’t know what Bring on the Brawndo means even after consulting the Gizoogle and the Balloon Juice Lexicon.

    “Brawndo” is a reference to Mike Judge’s film Idiocracy, wherein (from the wiki): “Joe [the protagonist] learns that water has been replaced by “Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator”, a sports drink advertised as rich in electrolytes, for virtually every purpose, including crop irrigation.” Joe tries to explain that water should be used for crop irrigation instead of Brawndo, and is faced with circular reasoning (“But it’s got electrolytes?” “Which is what plants crave!”) and an absolute lack of critical thinking.

    Bootleg video of the relevant scene here.

    No need to wrestle.

  72. 72.

    Malron

    John and Doug,

    I’m disappointed in you both because you’re not 100% right in everything you post. Why can’t you be perfect like me? Teh let down is catastrophic.

  74. 74.

    GReynoldsCT00

    I’m also disappointed that John hasn’t accepted one of the half dozen marriage proposals I’ve offered this year

  75. 75.

    Randy P

    I’m disappointed in the Information Superhighway, Availability of Old Comedy Subdivision.

    1. I didn’t watch that clip, but looking at the image of Jerry Stiller remindes me how desperately much I want to track down some classic Jerry Stiller/Anne Meara comedy stuff, having heard so much about this comedy team over the years. We were in Chicago a couple of weeks ago and got to Second City. I saw their pictures on the wall and that reminded me all over again of this quest.

    2. A few weeks back, there was an article in the NY Times magazine about the three generations of comedy in the Elliott family (Chris Elliott is a familiar face as a character actor to a lot of moviegoers. For instance, the camera guy in “Groundhog Day”). Turns out the elder Elliott is Bob Elliott of Bob and Ray fame. Another comedy duo I’ve heard so much about but never actually heard. The magazine described a hilarious audio routine with a band performance in the foreground and a fistfight with a waiter in the background which I now have to hear somewhere.

    3. Someone in our e-mail list was sending around a “menopausal women” mall-rage video which is pretty funny. I managed to track down that this comes from the show “Malcolm in the Middle”, which I never watched. I even have the episode number: season 6, episode 6. Not available anywhere. Not even on Netflix.

    4. We just rediscovered “Monk”, watching the show-ender. That started us talking about when Sharona quit as his keeper and we decided to find out what episode that happened in (season 3) and to see the episode. Since TV shows are now available on sites like Hulu, right? Well, no. Only the current season. At least that one’s on Netflix. Even though Netflix won’t tell me which disk of season 3 has which episodes.

  78. 78.

    kid bitzer

    actually, i *am* somewhat disappointed that j.c. has not pulled an althouse and married one of his commenters.

    (and no thanks–i’m already married myself, as well as the wrong gender. but even old guys can like to watch happy endings in a romance, right?)

    and dougj could be your best man.

  79. 79.

    jibeaux

    It turns out I have a lot of disappointments. Another one is that if your office has cookies and Krispy Kremes in it, bringing your own healthy snack of apples, oranges, and nuts doesn’t work if the cookies and Krispy Kremes are still there. Once again I am failed by the lesser deliciousness of healthy snacks. C’mon, apples.

  83. 83.

    eemom

    @BruceK:

    are you actually in Greece? Kewl.

    I’m Greek, and I can therefore say that constant pointless yelling and hopeless inefficiency are just, like, in our blood.

  84. 84.

    Roger Moore

    John, you let us all down by not having Tunch pictures every single day. Also, Obama let me down by failing to institute single payer with the snap of his fingers. And give me a pony. Also, too.

  85. 85.

    kid bitzer

    #68–

    i liked how the ‘phantom menace’ reviewer was putting pizza pockets into envelopes in order to mail them out.

    that should come with the booze.

  90. 90.

    South of I-10

    I am disappointed that I have only received two bottles of wine as gifts. How the hell am I supposed to make it through the holidays with only two bottles of wine? Buy my own or something? Whatever.

  92. 92.

    Randy P

    @eemom:
    A Greek? Good, I can get a third opinion.

    I’ve found a greek restaurant in the Bronx that makes Greek coffee, the real stuff. He’s teaching me Greek slowly, one word at a time. I calculate I’ll be fluent in 3000 years. Starting with the words for the three levels of coffee sweetness: sketo, metrio, glixo (just guessing at the spelling).

    And I’ve also learned the word “parakalo” for “please”.

    Now Greek #2, a youngish co-worker, tells me that the way a Greek orders coffee is to pound the table and shout “Sketo!” angrily. And never say “parakalo”.

    Greek #1 insists that Greeks don’t act like that and Greek #2 is pulling my leg.

    So what’s your take?

    And is it possible for a gringo to learn how to make that stuff? On reflection, I realized I’ve never had Greek coffee made by someone who wasn’t actually born in Greece.

  94. 94.

    Da Bomb

    I am disppointed that Obama is not the Magic Uppity Negro that I wanted.

    I was looking forward to replacing mah Superman action figures with the Obamaman ones.

    Also, I am disappointed that I haven’t been able to see Mexico from my backyard yet. I live in Texas and could use money so I could build a wall to keep all illegal immigrants(only from Mexico) out. Maybe Sarah “Starbursts” Palin could help me out with that problem, since she didn’t like Hawaii and all of it’s ethnic glory. She knows from experience how to run away from brown people. Maybe that’s why she posed for Runner’s World?

  101. 101.

    RedKitten

    I’m disappointed that it’s almost 2010, and where are my rocket packs, already? I’m applying for a job that entails a two-hour commute — I want my cock-knocking rocket packs!

  104. 104.

    Randy P

    @Persia:
    No TV subscription. If it ain’t on the intertubes or Netflix, I’m not gonna see it.

    One of the costs of this lifestyle is I see Rachel Maddow 24 hours delayed. But life is full of little tradeoffs.

  106. 106.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Randy P:

    One of the costs of this lifestyle is I see Rachel Maddow 24 hours delayed. But life is full of little tradeoffs.

    Maddow is only a couple of hours delayed for me, but YMMV. Olbermann’s show is only a couple of hours late, too. I don’t even bother with Tweety. TDS is posted around 6am Eastern, btw.

  108. 108.

    Brick Oven Bill

    I am disappointed in Tiger Woods for letting himself get the crap beat out of him by some chick with a wedge.

    Behold the Metrics of Accenture, this is a recommended link. Accenture brains are the consultants for the smart companies. Accenture hired Tiger Woods to be their spokesman. This was not very smart as Tiger was tapping waffle-house waitresses and porn-stars, an image not entirely consistent with Buick. Buick is probably also disappointed in Tiger.

    At least Tiger had a pillow while he snored in the street.

    At The Facility, speed is important to profitability, and I try to be a good employee, unlike Tiger. Miles per hour is a metric that could be assigned to my work.

    Some men value the beauty of women, and also assign metrics to describe this beauty. This is typically inches of circumference of chest-waist-hips. For example, Elaine is a 34-22-34, meaning her chest is 34 inches in circumference, her waist 22 inches, and her hips again 34 inches.

    The other day, there was a female in the aisle before me with metrics of perhaps 32-36-47, who was moving very slow. She appears to have been from Mexico Da Bomb, and I doubt she could scale a wall. I was disappointed with her speed and agility and if I wanted to avoid her I could simply walk at a modest pace.

    For a period of time we worked in the same proximity and she did not smell of body odor, as I had feared, however.

  109. 109.

    BruceK

    @eemon:

    In Athens right now (flying back home to New York tomorrow to see the family for Christmas). Half-Greek on my mother’s side, and I’ve noticed that there does seem to be this tendency to concentrate on winning the argument and forget about solving the problem, you know? At least when the Titanic went down, they waited until the Carpathia finished picking up the survivors before launching the board of inquiry.

    @RandyP:

    From what I can pick up via Google magic, the secret’s to start with very finely ground coffee and cold water, and heat in a very small pot (like a one-cup coffee pot) over rather high heat, until it boils. Not that I know beans about coffee (that, combined with my meh attitude to chocolate, has caused acquaintances to assume that I am in fact a space alien).

    I think the expat community here in Athens would classify your Greek No. 2 as, to use the technical term, a jerkass. However, that may just be me; whenever I speak politely to a shopkeeper or taxi driver in my serviceable but oddly French-accented Greek (so I’m told), they talk back to me in broken English.

    Also, “sketo” means “plain”, “glyko” means “sweet”. “Metrio” basically means “moderate”. Also, too, “sikhtiri” means “back away slowly until you see a chance to run like hell for daylight.” (That one was stolen appropriated from the Turks. So was the coffee, but don’t mention that in a Greek restaurant unless you want the next few minutes of your life to be quite interesting.)

  111. 111.

    eemom

    @Randy P:

    hmmm…….I don’t exactly know the answer, but I can tell you that having grown up in a Greek family, I find it entirely plausible that a Greek would order by pounding his fist and omitting the “parakalo.” However, he wouldn’t mean any rudeness by it. It’s not that we’re an impolite people……we’re just, ya know, EXPRESSIVE.

    As for the coffee, OMG, I have no idea. I never touch that stuff. I’m more of a Retsina kind of girl. (That is a kind of resin-flavored wine that invariably tastes disgusting to anyone not of Greek origin.)

    So where exactly is this restaurant — is it in Washington Heights? I went to Greek school there as a little kiddle, and it had a sizable Greek community back then. Of course, that was a thousand years ago.

  112. 112.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I continue to begrudge the fact that those stupid Pomeranians beat out Little Bitsy in the Cutest Dog Contest (sorry, Pom-lovers). That was a bitter disappointment.

  113. 113.

    Sandlapper

    I have explained to everyone around me that I am terribly disappointed that they have not immediately given me everything I wanted, in just the way that I wanted, as soon as I wanted it, even after having changed my mind on the level of my desire, despite my threats to post my disappointment on the front page of my awesome blog.

    Of course, everyone around me amounts to two Pomeranians and a German Shepherd. They do not give a shit about my disappointment. However, the German Shepherd does want desperately to play ball.

  114. 114.

    And Another Thing...

    hmmmm…biggest letdown. The geezer who called CSPAN – see yesterday’s postings for a not to be missed You Tube clip…

    Shorter Geezer: Not only is God a tool, He is my tool.

  116. 116.

    wasabi gasp

    Jesus has let me down. He just watches. And watches. And watches. That’s it. Not once has he mailed me a pizza pocket. Jesus, is there no reasoning for my Italian seasoning? I just feel like a tied-up chick in his basement.

  117. 117.

    eemom

    @BruceK:

    “Also, too, “sikhtiri” means “back away slowly until you see a chance to run like hell for daylight.”

    That’s funny. My mother used to use that word as a kind of “oh shit” type exclamation.

  118. 118.

    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)

    Gillian Welch has let me down; another year passes, still no new album, and but a handful of live appearances.

  120. 120.

    Irony Abounds

    This blog has failed to inspire me to write more insightful and delightfully snarky comments. Have I wasted all this time?

  121. 121.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @arguingwithsignposts: Hey! This is about *my* disappointments, ‘kay? ‘Kay then.

    (P.S. I heart your Smudgekitteh.)

  123. 123.

    Drive By Wisdom

    One can never be disappointed by the enexorable decline of liberalism here and in Washington, it simply is a product of their nature. 2009 was admittedly a disappointing year for many Republicans, who just did not stand up for what is right or fight hard enough. Whether men like Jim DeMint can reform the party from within will have to be seen. I have high hopes for his heroic efforts.

    But America’s history is filled with dark eras, where true patriots stood up and saved this country from certain disaster. While the media and blogs like this will do all they can do to mock and keep these patriots isolated, we will continue to see a ground swell that I predict will be the deciding factors in the next elections.

    So I will save my energy for the fights next year.

  125. 125.

    Comrade Dread

    Well, President Obama, I have to say that I feel like you’ve really thrown us independents under the bus after giving us a slap to the face. Combined with all of your dithering, you’ve really been a disappointment. Also stop eating dijon mustard as this confuses and frightens us.

    And Death Panels. Please make sure we keep all government funded death squads where they belong, south of the border terrorizing brown people.

    Also, Michael Moore, for being fat.

    And Al Gore, for having a big house.

    Nancy Pelosi for being from San Francisco. So very disappointing.

    And all my good will to the media who keeps us well informed about Michael Jackson’s death so we don’t have to think about all the unpleasant things in life.

    And thank you to those paragons of virtue, those supermen amongst us who work in corporate America and Wall St. Without your shining beacon of light, I would never know that the American dream of reaping millions while gambling and losing billions of dollars belonging to other people was still possible. Truly, we would be lost without you, and you should probably go Galt just to teach us all a lesson. Preferably on a small tropical island just barely above current sea level, because Global warming is a hoax (thank you, ClimateGate) and there’s no possible way you’d all be underwater and drowning in five years, am I right?

  127. 127.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @TooManyJens: Confession time. Until I clicked your link* I honestly did not know exactly what Festivus was or anything about the reference (never watched Seinfeld so didn’t know it came from that show until I read the Cakewrecks description). Now I am pissed that I’ll have to go back to the top of this thread and re-read all those posts in the context of my newly-acquired understanding. What a waste of time, and I have a full afternoon of shopping to do, plus get my toenails painted so I can compete with RedKitten. Hum bahbug.

    (Asterisk): that sounds kinkier than I ever intended.

  128. 128.

    dr. bloor

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    I am disappointed in Tiger Woods for letting himself get the crap beat out of him by some chick with a wedge.
    …
    Behold the Metrics of Accenture, this is a recommended link. Accenture brains are the consultants for the smart companies. Accenture hired Tiger Woods to be their spokesman. This was not very smart as Tiger was tapping waffle-house waitresses and porn-stars, an image not entirely consistent with Buick. Buick is probably also disappointed in Tiger.

    Gotta be pleased with Elin, though. She pulled the perfect club for the shot she had to make there.

    I don’t know why Accenture dumped Tiger. Devaluing what you have, jumping in the sack with anything that seems at least superficially attractive, and paying a steep price later seems to embody the company.

    As for the rest of the post, BoB, time to see Nurse Ratched for your meds.

  129. 129.

    Randy P

    @eemom:

    So where exactly is this restaurant—is it in Washington Heights?

    Riverdale, about a block from the 238th-street stop of the number 1 subway. It’s called Christos, I believe. Interesting neighborhood. Seems to be historically Jewish, there’s a really great Jewish deli there called Liebman’s. Everything a Jewish deli ought to be. An Irish pub called “An Beal Bacht” run by actual Irish. A lot of spanish-speakers of various flavors. Another of our favorite places, a diner, is apparently Dominican owned or influenced as one of the prominent items on their menu is “mangu”, a plantain dish I am assured is characteristically dominican. A Dominican friend has pointed out other characteristic dishes on their menu and tells me I should try the oxtail stew.

    Also, the absolute best cheesecake in the world, called S&S. And in New York, that’s saying something.

    I’m becoming very fond of this neighborhood. We’re only part-timers there as we split time between New York and Philly, but I’m beginning to understand how people in the outer boroughs manage to go through life with hardly ever going into or even thinking about Manhattan.

  130. 130.

    MikeJ

    Daisuke Matsuzaka. End of.

    This year was reversion to form for the Sox. In the olden days, the Red Sox rarely sucked completely. They would play just well enough to get your hopes up and then dash them.

    When they won a World Series or two, some naive people started to believe that things had really turned around, from now on they’d play as well as they could. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t have a shot at going all the way every year.

    This is what they were waiting for. The Red Sox know you can not disappoint people who have no hope. In this decade, they have provided us with that hope. And now they will make us pay the price.

  131. 131.

    Midnight Marauder

    Well, I guess I have to say I’m disappointed that the CrazyTown HCR threads around here haven’t lead me to drinking even earlier during the day, having to sneak a gulp here and there from the flask that I hide in the bottom of the Kleenex box I cleverly carved out. In fact, I haven’t had to bring a flask to work yet, so I guess there’s another way you all have let me down. But if the new year provides us nothing else, it provides us hope that springs eternal. So I guess what I’m saying is…BRING ON FINANCE REFORM, MOTHERFUCKERS!

    Oh, and why not toss in some immigration reform while you’re at it?!

    WE CAN BUILD ON THIS, BALLOON JUICE!

    /Herm Edwards

  133. 133.

    asiangrrlMN

    Count me as another who never liked nor watched Seinfeld.

    I am disappointed that this blog isn’t all food pr0n and teh animals ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

    I am further disappointed that Tunchie has not accepted my marriage proposal.

    I am mostly disappointed because y’all have proved wrong my theory that liberals cannot be screamingly funny and bitingly incisive at the same time.

    One more: I am disappointed that Cole never posted pics of the infamous mopping nekkid in the shower incident.

  135. 135.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    I’m disappointed that DougJ doesn’t do more spoof, that John Cole doesn’t appreciate Democrats more, and that most of you fawn over pets but seem to take farm animals for granted.

    I hope everyone has a guilt ridden and somber holiday.

  136. 136.

    MysticalChick

    Well, hrumph! I am mad that some of you don’t like Seinfeld! Don’t you know it’s the greatest show of all time?? OF ALL TIME?

    (Don’t beat me. I actually do like it. And I hate 30 Rock so there’s no accounting for taste.)

    I hate that there’s so much bitching and whining all over the intertubes. Yeesh. Eat, drink and be merry, bitchez!

    Tunch and Smudge rule, btw!

  137. 137.

    Randy P

    @Drive By Wisdom:
    Was there a time one could tell the difference between right-wing writing and parodies of right-wing writing?

    Because I just can’t any more. I’d have to flip a coin on this one.

  139. 139.

    jibeaux

    I am disappointed that the Best of Balloon Juice has not been read aloud and made into a free podcast.

  140. 140.

    Chat Noir (iPhone)

    @jeffreyw: Excellent! Peanut butter toast is my fav for breakfast. And I’m impressed with your culinary skills. I could never get into cooking tho I’m good at cleaning up the kitchen.

  143. 143.

    R-Jud

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I am disappointed that Cole never posted pics of the infamous mopping nekkid in the shower incident.

    Gotta disagree with you here, sweetheart.

    I am disappointed with Yutsano. It’s complicated. On the one hand, he did not post this rugelach recipe sooner in the year. On the other hand, he posted it, I made them, and ate the entire batch, derailing six months’ worth of scrupulous attention to losing weight.

  144. 144.

    James K. Polk, Esq.

    @MikeJ: Ain’t no biatching like a Sox’s fan’s bitching, cause a Sox’s fan’s biatching don’t stop. Even after buying two World Series rings.

    Also. Fuck the Yankees.

  146. 146.

    srv

    I am disappointed that the Best of Balloon Juice has not been read aloud and made into a free podcast.

    Morgan Freeman costs too much.

  148. 148.

    catclub

    I give thanks every day that John McWars McCain
    is not president.

    We would be at war with at least three countries
    (besides Iran)
    and might well be under nuclear attack.

    Not so small blessings.

  151. 151.

    Blue Raven

    I hate you all for not seeing the beauty of Lily enough to elevate her over Tunch in the worship structure of this blog.

    I resent you, John, for posting more video of Tunch than of Lily this year.

    Dog lovers like me have been thrown under the bus by this blog!

  153. 153.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @AngusTheGodOfMeat:

    seem to take farm animals for granted.

    Not me. I take farm animals so little for granted that I’m planning to eat on on Christmas Day.

    ETA: on rereading, this post doesn’t make any sense. Oh well.

  158. 158.

    drillfork

    I can’t say that B-J has let me down. Despite my radical left, FDL leaning leanings, I spend more time on this blog than any other. And it honestly worries me how much I care about Cole’s dog.

    My biggest problem with this site is that J.C. and many of the regulars here actually aren’t cynical enough, given the current state of our country.

    While I’d sometimes like to rain blows upon you all for that, give it another few months. You’ll get there.

    You’ll all get there…

  166. 166.

    slag

    I have two grievances as well:
    1. I hate when people try to use their own anecdotal evidence to refute scientific studies. I expect it from right wingers, but when I see lefties do it, it makes me want to throw things.

    2. I hate when people employ condescending language when accusing others of being condescending. Same is true for employing hateful language when accusing others of being hateful. Etc.

    Bonus grievance: Mocking people by making fun of their name, unless thematically appropriate, is really boring and childish. For me, pet peeves include casually employing the terms “Rethuglican”, “Repuke”, etc. If anything, I’d advocate for a little more creativity when insulting people.

    Edit: Just to be clear about #2, I’m all for being condescending and hateful. It’s just the pretense of being otherwise that bugs the hell out of me.

  167. 167.

    Ming

    I’m disappointed that John has better things to do all day than post new pictures of Tunchie hourly, to assuage and distract me from my disappointment that he (John, not Tunch) has refused my tenderly tendered offers of marriage, which i was, in turn, hoping would take my mind off of the godawful state of our political discourse and execrable media. <> Damn you, John Cole!

    Srsly, I would be disappointed that more of the world isn’t like Balloon Juice and its redoubtably witty, kind and thoughtful posters/commentariat, but I’m so grateful for this oasis I can’t muster even a faux letdown.

    Thanks, everyone!

  168. 168.

    Leelee for Obama

    @General Winfield Stuck: General, that is a dog I could see having live with me! So cute! Most dogs that I like would outweigh me before they were a year old, so I can’t get one of those, but that little guy is perfect!

  169. 169.

    Ash Can

    @JD Rhoades:

    I “disliked some characters, was indifferent to others, and wished they would all get drowned together.”

    This. Seinfeld had its occasional moments of humor, but they weren’t worth sitting through all the rest. On the whole, a crashing bore.

    Speaking of crashing bores, the trolls on this site. ‘Nuff said.

    And I’m disappointed that Glenn Beck’s head hasn’t spontaneously combusted on camera yet.

    I’m disappointed in the Alaska state justice system for not hauling Sarah Palin off to the pokey yet. And in too fucking many Maine voters, who were dumb enough to swallow all the bullshit the anti-gay bigots piled on them. And in too fucking many left-wing bloggers/commenters, whose hair catches on fire if they so much as think of striking a match.

    And I’m disappointed that today’s news organizations have all but killed journalism dead-ass dead.

    And hey, while I’m complaining, has anyone noticed that Barack Obama has not worked any bona fide, Vatican-certified miracles since he was sworn in? Not one! No walking on water, no multiplication of loaves and fishes, no calming of seas. Hell, he hasn’t even reanimated one corpse yet. Dick Cheney’s heart surgeon is still one up on him in that department.

    Finally, I too object to the lack of an open bar in this establishment. A person can’t even get a drink in this dump. BYOB? WTF?

  170. 170.

    JohnR

    eh, I’m rarely disappointed, since I always expect the worst, but even I feel a little twinge of dismay that BOB doesn’t seem to be really putting his heart and soul into the latest posts. I guess the Saturnalia season has just taken a lot of the stuffing out of him.
    One thing I _am_ seriously aggrieved about: that Porsche still has not built a one-off 4-door family sedan (maybe an updated 959?) with plenty of head- and leg-room that can do 200 mph and get 35 mpg. And donated it to me as a PR ploy.

  173. 173.

    Malron

    I’m disappointed that when Tiger Woods referred to his “9 iron” people actually thought he was referring to his golf game.

    I’m disappointed that Barack Obama hasn’t got in touch with his inner Angry Black Man yet.

    I’m disappointed that during the Senate hearing to confirm her as Supreme Court justice, Sonia Sotomayor didn’t respond to Tom Coburn or Jeff Sessions by saying “Don’t you know I will cut you?”

    I’m disappointed That the Whitey Tape has still not surfaced.

    I’m disappointed that Barack Obama hasn’t replaced “The Star Spangled Banner” with “One Nation Under A Groove” (I’m serious about this one) or didn’t make his inauguration entrance by landing in the Mothership and descending its stairs dressed as Dr. Funkenstein. (pretty serious about this one because if he had done this, every right wing pundit’s head would have exploded and things would be a lot less stressful by now. I think.)

    I’m most disappointed in myself because it took me this long to suggest this as the cure for all the “shitstorm” and “shit sandwich” analogies that have been flying back and forth for the past couple weeks:

    Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis Enema Squad (The DooDoo Chasers) by Funkadelic (couldn’t find youtube video with lyrics)

    The world is a toll-free toilet
    Our mouths neurological assholes
    And psychologically speaking
    We’re in a state of mental diarrhea
    Talking shit a mile a minute
    Or in a state of constipated notions
    Can’t think of nothin’ but shit
    And in this world of
    Stinky futures, shitty memories and
    Constipated 19 now-nows
    Emerges from the hiney of your head
    The doo doo chasers,
    The Promentalshitbackwashpsychosisenemasquad
    The prune juice of the mind
    The doo doo chasers
    Friends of roto-rooter
    Bringing you music to get your shit together by
    The band in the tidy bowl of your brain
    (What was that long word again-Promental?)
    A musical bowel movement
    Designed to rid you of moral diarrhea
    Social bullshit
    Crazy do-loops
    Mental poots
    They call us the unflushables
    One swipe a clean wipe
    (Go flush it, fellas)
    And what causes all of this shit?
    What is the source of food for thought?
    Ego-munchies
    Images doggie bags
    Me burger with I sauce on it
    Me burger with I sauce on it
    A myself sandwich
    A personal burger
    Hamburger
    And a glass of constricted cola
    Out to lunch with lunch meat
    The fear of being eaten by the sandwich
    The Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis—–
    The doo doo chasers
    Friends of roto-rooter
    Music to clean your shit by
    Low calorie logic
    Muscle brain
    Skinny brain
    Count the calories of your thoughts
    Funk, Confucius says
    Like Chinese laxatives
    Sweet and sour bowel movements
    And in this world of stinky memories
    Shitty futures
    19 now nows-constipated-like
    The prune juice of the mind
    The band in the tidy bowl of your brain

  174. 174.

    Jenn

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    That pic is one of the cutest things ever. Thanks for the smile.

    Oh, yeah, this thread is supposed to be about how everyone’s letting me down. Curse you, curse you all, for making me laugh out loud (and sadly, I do mean the “loud”) multiple times in the middle of Les Schwab, making all of the other folks in here whip around and stare!

  175. 175.

    Et Tu Brutus?

    Coulda been Silverman, definitely not Elaine ( but her style), try snopes.com for the answer (online spoof interview in ’96, quickly went viral and widely assumed to be genuine- ah the MSM, truly worthy of our disdain, and the ones that consistently lettuce down)

  177. 177.

    R-Jud

    @Malron:

    I’m disappointed that Barack Obama hasn’t replaced “The Star Spangled Banner” with “One Nation Under A Groove” (I’m serious about this one) or didn’t make his inauguration entrance by landing in the Mothership and descending its stairs dressed as Dr. Funkenstein.

    I had been hoping he’d be Humpty Hump, myself.

    “Stop whatcha doin’, cause I’m about to ruin
    The image and the style that you’re used to.”

    Would have been perfect.

  178. 178.

    wasabi gasp

    disappointed that no one got or laughed at my fish joke. Too obscure?

    Too soon.

    Abe Vigoda is still alive.

  179. 179.

    Fulcanelli

    I am profoundly disappointed that John, it seems, got ripped off by his (former?) web site programmer after the first fundraiser last summer who never actually fixed the ‘edit’ and especially the ‘preview’ functions this most excellent blog had before.

    The BJ Lexicon is awesome (h/t Anne Laurie), but I am extremely disappointed that John hasn’t put up a “Best of Balloon-Juice” section with either links to some of the most insane threads and comments, kind of like “The Best of Craigslist” which is essential reading if you need a good chuckle.

    I am intensely saddened by the fact that no one, on this most awesome blog on the planet, has posted the recipe for those browned butter chocolate chip cookies I saw being discussed a while back. Unless, of course, I missed it, and someone cares to redeem themselves by posting it again. Pleeeese?

    But most of all I am shamed and disgusted by my own lame blog posting skills which pale compared to so many of the regulars and especially the front pagers and our host who have taught me so much about politics, policy and intelligent, self expressive writing. You folks are the shit. No place else comes close.

  183. 183.

    HyperIon

    so…is there an edit now?

    if not, i am disappointed.
    but will be unable to edit the post to say so AFTER i find out the answer.

    excellent. THERE is an edit. but it’s a bit slow…like the site today. but i’m not complaining about speed (just mentioning it).

  184. 184.

    Anne Laurie

    @Et Tu Brutus?:

    I’ll give ya’all a pass IF you can name the author of this qoute:
    __
    “Whenever I watch TV and see all those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

    Larry Summers?

  185. 185.

    Fulcanelli

    @Et Tu Brutus?:

    “Whenever I watch TV and see all those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

    Elizabeth Hassenger?

  186. 186.

    Anne Laurie

    @jibeaux:

    I am also disappointed that no one got or laughed at my fish joke. Too obscure?

    Obama’s Secret Service is too busy protecting him from Bush supporters & other nutball domestic terrorists to stock up the bass pond, I guess.

  188. 188.

    Anne Laurie

    @General Winfield Stuck: You know how in Scandinavian countries, it’s the Yule Goat that carries the Xmas trolls who deliver toys to good children?

    I think Charlie gets to play the Yule Goat this year.

  189. 189.

    wasabi gasp

    That quote is awful. I came this close to burning my whole record collection alive. Nearly my whole collection, that is. I love you, Taylor Dayne!

  191. 191.

    Anne Laurie

    @Malron:

    I’m disappointed that during the Senate hearing to confirm her as Supreme Court justice, Sonia Sotomayor didn’t respond to Tom Coburn or Jeff Sessions by saying “Don’t you know I will cut you?”

    There’s still hope she will slip a note along these lines to the other Justices. I’ll bet Alito would read it and wet himself. If we’re really lucky, on camera.

  192. 192.

    Thadeus Horne

    @Brick Oven Bill: BoB, did you ever get your waterline thawed and have you taken a shower since then. You piss me of, you fucking jerk, but have a happy holiday, anyway.
    Oh…and toe the line anytime you wish…I would LOVE to get you in the ring.

  194. 194.

    Stan

    @Betsy:

    Fictional, satirical interview with Mariah Carey. She never actually said that.

    However I understand that she did invent the internet.

  196. 196.

    Tappen

    @drillfork:

    My biggest problem with this site is that J.C. and many of the regulars here actually aren’t cynical enough, given the current state of our country.

    Too true. John&co’s naive optimism and hopey-changeyness are blinding them from the true dysfunctionality and insanity of American politics. Also, too.

    Disappointed that I don’t read the comments on this blog enough (I blame Obama). Disappointed I never mentioned that a picture John posted in the summer (a dog sign overlooking a dock and the water with a corny message for humans and then barks and woofs for dogs) is right next to my freakin’ house. I had a conniption.

    Disappointed that wingnuts haven’t been advocating Sumnerian caning tactics to stall hcr yet. Michelle Bachmann-Preston Brooks 2011.

  197. 197.

    Platonicspoof

    My Grievance is that events never match my predictions about pending future possibilities for extremely complicated plans (that I could barely understand in the first place) for a generation of 300+million people, so I’m going to beat all the people closest to me with a very high strength-to-weight ratio Festivus pole.

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