Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

He really is that stupid.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Fani Willis claps back at Trump chihuahua, Jim Jordan.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Second rate reporter says what?

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Christmas Eve in the drunk tank

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120Comments

  3. 3.

    LT

    Okay, I’ll play along. This lyric starts it off:

    It was Christmas in prison
    and the food was real good
    we had turkey and pistols
    carved outta wood…

    Linky. (I tried to embed the video. No go here?)

    P.S. “Shane McGowan stole my hat” has got to be a euphemism.

  5. 5.

    Spiffy McBang

    I like this, but No Use for a Name introduced this song to me via punked-out cover:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxa3cSicqPQ

    Unfortunately only live recordings are available, and most are with the singer from Good Riddance. The album version sounds excellent, though, and with an actual female on vocals.

  10. 10.

    Annie

    @J.:

    Yes…remains of my childhood, and my parents taking us on rides Christmas eve to see the Christmas lights, and stopping afterwards at Howard Johnson’s for hot chocolate…

  12. 12.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @DougJ: Indeed. it was a top hat that had been given to me by a friend. Because there was a girl with us who Shane was hitting on, we made it up to near front row, where my hat disappeared only to end up on Shane’s head moments later. He wore it for most of the concert, and I never saw it again.

    And now you know. (although it might be more fun if it were a euphemism).

  14. 14.

    jager

    Back in the old days, we used to have a few(!) cocktails at the office on Christmas Eve. One year the office party migrated at about 4pm to a bar just across from our parking garage. It was a typical Boston bar, full of Christmas cheer. When it was time to leave at 6 I discovered some asshat had taken my brand new Burberry coat and left a ratty old Burberry in it’s place and it was about 2 sizes too small! We didn’t live too far from the office and I usually walked to work. On that Christmas Eve it was snowing and blowing and my pal Barry offered me a ride home, I accepted. We left the garage and drove about 3 blocks and old Bar’ rear ended a car on Boylston Street, we were immediately rear ended by another and soon we were involved in a slow speed 5 car accident! Barry’s car was pinned in between the car we hit and the car that hit us, not only were we pinned, the doors were jammed! I couldn’t get out except through the window! As I was trying to climb out, one of Boston’s finest, told me I wasn’t going anywhere and stay in the “fookin” car! It took about 2 hours to get things straightened out and I was greeted at the door by a pissed wife, and two teary eyed little girls (this was pre-cell phone)…That Christmas turned into some good laughs, my kids got over it as did my wife, but I’m still pissed about my Burberry!

    Merry and Happy! (I’m putting a standing rib roast in the oven in about two hours…its in the fridge right now enjoying its Tuscan herb rub!)

  16. 16.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    I have to hear this one at least once a Christmas, or it isn’t officially Christmas:

    12 Pains of Christmas

    Off to a Christmas Eve party. Merry Christmas! (or whatever your flavor is) in case I don’t pop in later. Mistletoe Kisses to all (those are the kisses you can get away with only at the holidays).

  17. 17.

    asiangrrlMN

    I like exactly one Christmas carol. No one would ever be able to guess which one because it does not fit my personality at all. However, this version, done by Weezer, actually does fit me somewhat. Enjoy.

    @arguingwithsignposts: YES! Michael was my favorite. Love the Saw Doctors.

  18. 18.

    Seebach

    Wow. Kos is alight with anti-Hamsher diaries. Maybe the left wing is going to be harder to split up than I imagined.

  19. 19.

    licensed to kill time

    “I coulda been someone”
    “well so could anyone”

    Ha! Cheery as hell. I like it.

    I was going to link to The Waitresses “Christmas Wrapping” but teh youdamntube won’t let me, copyright dealio.

  21. 21.

    Maxwel

    This song is the reason I have 2 Pogues albums.

    Best Xmas song ever and saddest song ever (“And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda”).

  25. 25.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    The only Christmas song that is needed. Nothing makes me prouder than my daughter (14) singing Kirsty’s part and my son (10) singing Shane’s.

    Justice for Kirsty just suspended all efforts and donated all the money to causes she would’ve supported. So sad. She was really hitting her stride.

  28. 28.

    licensed to kill time

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Hey thanks asiangrrlMN! IMHO The Waitresses were one of the better bands of the 80’s. I saw them a couple times in small clubs in LA/SD, fun.

    (Ah yea – the fanvid sucks eggnogs! )

  30. 30.

    Max

    Maybe it’s my Gen-X self, but this is THE best xmas song…

    Linky.

    Simon LeBon, Boy George, Sting, George Michael, Bono…

    Being a teenager in the 80’s was fun.

  37. 37.

    Midnight Marauder

    @Seebach:

    Wow. Kos is alight with anti-Hamsher diaries. Maybe the left wing is going to be harder to split up than I imagined.

    I went perusing through one of Dear Jane’s diaries over at FDL earlier today, and they were circling the wagons might hard over there around their precious leader. Lots of confusion and disdain for the sudden surge of anti-Jane posts over at the GOS. And they were particularly upset with Jed Lewison’s post this afternoon. Methinks it’s about to get might lonely on WATB Island pretty soon.

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne

    @Max:

    That song actually makes me tear up. I am such a geek.

    (And for any nitpickers, the point is that you’re supposed to be thinking about people who have it worse than you do, not just yourself, so it doesn’t actually matter if people in Ethiopia celebrate Christmas.)

  40. 40.

    licensed to kill time

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    (Tipper)Gore watched other rock music videos and concluded: “The images frightened my children, they frightened me! I am frightened! Way frightened! The graphic sex and the violence were too much for us to handle.”

    BWAAHAAHAAAHAHA!

    Yep, I remember those days.

  43. 43.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Max: LOVE that song. And, first time I saw Reagan as a wee girl, I thought, “What a stupid idiot he is”. I haven’t looked back since.

    Simon LeBon. Yum.

    @jeffreyw: I hate you/love you. You know that, right?

  45. 45.

    Annie

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Double yummm…

    I was in Peace Corps in the 80s wondering if Reagan was going to stop funding us and I would be stranded somewhere in Africa…

  48. 48.

    JasonF

    Fairytale of New York is such a great song that I think the real discussion should be “What’s the second best Christmas song.”

    I nominate the Ramones’ “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight).” Other songs wish for peace on Earth and good will toward all men. The Ramones are so much more modest — all Joey wants is one night of not fighting with one person.

  50. 50.

    Demo Woman

    My feet are sore but I’m on target to serve supper to 17 at 7:30. Have a wonderful holiday all.
    I read the gaggle and someone asked if Rahm’s was in danger because of Jane and Gordon. The answer was yeah right!
    The actual answer was that Rahm’s job was secure.

    Merry Christmas all.

  51. 51.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    Awwwwwww man…

    The Pogues…

    There was a time when I listened to that particular album… er… cd… ah… ‘collection of songs’ endlessly.

    If I Should Fall From Grace With God…

  52. 52.

    GReynoldsCT00

    @jeffreyw:

    me too, just burned myself trying make (and ultimately screwing up) a batch of fudge. that’s what I get for doing too many things at once.

  53. 53.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Mnemosyne:

    for any nitpickers, the point is that you’re supposed to be thinking about people who have it worse than you do, not just yourself, so it doesn’t actually matter if people in Ethiopia celebrate Christmas

    Right. We live in a “world of plenty,” so we should “throw [our] arms around the world.” And there’s a “there but for the grace of God go I” sentiment of identifying with the people who have it much worse, because, ultimately, it’s only random chance that makes you one of the ones who has it better.

    BTW, I think Geldof’s lyrics are very similar to this William Blake poem:

    Holy Thursday (Songs of Experience)
    __
    Is this a holy thing to see
    In a rich and fruitful land,
    Babes reduced to misery,
    Fed with cold and usurous hand?
    __
    Is that trembling cry a song?
    Can it be a song of joy?
    And so many children poor?
    It is a land of poverty!
    __
    And their sun does never shine,
    And their fields are bleak and bare,
    And their ways are filled with thorns:
    It is eternal winter there.
    __
    For where’er the sun does shine,
    And where’er the rain does fall,
    Babes should never hunger there,
    Nor poverty the mind appall.

  57. 57.

    Demo Woman

    @MikeJ: When my son was in seventh grade he came home with a recipe for buche noel from French Class. I let him make it. The flour was all over the house and the kitchen a mess but the cake was delicious. He has turned into an awesome baker. Now at 32 he brings over the desserts. Yum!

  58. 58.

    Annie

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Yes, yes, yes. I do have two beautiful photos taken by my stepdaughter. However, given that I am essentially computer illiterate, I have to first learn how to upload photos. When I do, I will post, and then you have to post a picture of Raven….Deal or no deal???

  59. 59.

    asiangrrlMN

    @arguingwithsignposts: Awwww, cutie. I saw the thread about you going to Canada. I agree with my FH#2 (Yutsano). You should hook up with a nice Canadian woman, eh? Mebbe we have some members in Edmonton.

    @Annie: You can already haz! Mah boys. Raven is in the computer chair, and Shadow is in the other chair staring at the monitor.

    Shadow is 10.7 pounds, and Raven is 9.1. The first picture is from before I got them (with their sister). I am not sure which is which.

  61. 61.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Annie:

    However, given that I am essentially computer illiterate, I have to first learn how to upload photos

    Create an account on Photobucket. It’s really easy. Press the “upload photos/video” button and select the file from your computer.

  66. 66.

    SGEW

    Honestly, although I loved this song to death when I was a teenager (it feels so long ago, now!), and the Pogues are still one of most favorite musical groups (and “U.S.A.” remains one of my favorite songs of all time), I really can’t enjoy “Fairytale” anymore. The bigoted slur right smack in the middle of it just ruins it for me. Similarly, Eddie Murphy was a pretty damned funny guy, back in the eighties, but I can’t listen to those routines either.

    Le sigh.

  70. 70.

    Andy K

    Ah, Jesus, Doug, the chorus (“And the Boys of the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay”) always trips the Irish sentimentality gene in me. Why’d ya have to go and make me tear up?

    Mel Torme and Judy Garland

    The Christmas Song

  71. 71.

    A Mom Anon

    Merry Christmas and all that to the funnest dysfunctional internons family evar. May you all get rusty farm implements and (unlit)torches under the tree,hee.

  77. 77.

    valdivia

    @Seebach:

    really DKos is now turning around from their flirtation with jumping off a cliff? Excellent news. I want to know if the front-pagers are doing so as well?

  78. 78.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Desiderata

    — written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s —
    Not “Found in Old St. Paul’s Church”! — see below

    Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
    and remember what peace there may be in silence.

    As far as possible, without surrender,
    be on good terms with all persons.
    Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
    and listen to others,
    even to the dull and the ignorant;
    they too have their story.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
    they are vexatious to the spirit.

    If you compare yourself with others,
    you may become vain or bitter,
    for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
    Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
    it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

    Exercise caution in your business affairs,
    for the world is full of trickery.
    But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
    many persons strive for high ideals,
    and everywhere life is full of heroism.
    Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
    Neither be cynical about love,
    for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
    it is as perennial as the grass.

    Take kindly the counsel of the years,
    gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
    But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
    Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline,
    be gentle with yourself.
    You are a child of the universe
    no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here.
    And whether or not it is clear to you,
    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

    Therefore be at peace with God,
    whatever you conceive Him to be.
    And whatever your labors and aspirations,
    in the noisy confusion of life,
    keep peace in your soul.

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
    it is still a beautiful world.
    Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

    *********************************
    A little corny, I know

    But is My Holiday and New Years Resolution, to become more like this. I do have my work cut for me.

    Oh and to quite cussing so damn much,.

  84. 84.

    valdivia

    didn’t Bob Geldoff have some sort of crazy moment a couple of years ago having to do with nazism?

  86. 86.

    Annie

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    OMG. Just love the little back legs in the air. Clearly a happy pup that knows how awesome the holidays are because he has you and you have him….

    Happy Holidays to Tunch, Lily, Raven, Smudge, Shadow, and all the other BJ darlings, including my own — Smrda and Diesel (who is purring as we speak because that is just what he does…hence his name…he sounds like a diesel engine)

  87. 87.

    R-Jud

    Chestnut-cranberry stuffing with bacon: finished
    Sweet potato & pecan casserole: finished
    Candied carrots: finished
    Bramley Apple & Onion soup: finished
    Turkey: brining

    That’s half my work for tomorrow done: dinner for 8, plus one infant (or maybe two, if my 41 weeks pregnant SIL suddenly pops at dinner– doesn’t bother me, I hate the carpet in here anyway, and we have plenty of newborn clothes in the storage closet).

    Tree is twinkling, cookies are cooling, I’ve wrapped the few bits and pieces for the kid (adults don’t really exchange gifts at Christmas in my family). It is time for wine.

    Merry Christmas, Juicers.

  89. 89.

    asiangrrlMN

    @pharniel: Love BNL with Sarah (sigh) McLachlan.

    @A Mom Anon: Did you notice I incorporated your Garden Weasel right alongside my rusty pitchfork?

    @jeffreyw: I hate you now.

    tattoosydney! Hi, honey! Mwwwwwwwwwwwah to you and your real hubby. I’m glad to see that you and Yutsano welcomed a new member to our demented little family without consulting me first!

  90. 90.

    Meanderthal

    Long-time lurker here, to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and to thank you all for this blog and the comments that enrich it. I hope the holiday season finds you all well.

    *(As the world’s biggest Pogues fan, I heartily agree that “Fairytale of New York” is the best Christmas song ever. My girlfriend disagrees, finding it to be incredibly sad. Me, I like sad songs.)

    **(And General Stuck, “Desiderata” is one of my favorite poems, and damned fine advice as well. I always feel more calm just by reading it.)

  92. 92.

    ellaesther

    Ok, this seems to be the open thread, the one in which I say that whether your holiday is over (holla, my Hebrews!) or starts tonight, or starts on Saturday, or falls on Sunday (Ashura, folks, Ashura!) or you’re just going to rip off the month in the calendar next week — or, indeed, if you’re heartless, godless blogger and/or commenter who holds nothing sacred — ’tis the season, the season of bringing light to dark places. Or at least, of trying.

    So though it reads like crass blog pimping, it really isn’t, because this is what I want to say to you ol’ Balloon Juice n’ Loan, you — some thoughts about the season and the light that we can bring to the world (even if we’re curmudgeons and are not entirely sure the light won’t drive our electric bills through the roof): The Season

    Thanks John Cole and DougJ and Tim F and Anne Laurie, and all y’all, you crazy commenters! And in the words of Ms. Obama: Everybody out there who’s celebrating anything: Happy!

  93. 93.

    Toast

    Jesus Christ, Hamsher made a joint denunciation of Rahm Emmanuel with Grover Fucking Norquist?

    Grover “The Estate Tax is like the Holocaust” Norquist?

    Grover “We are trying to change the tones in the state capitals—and turn them toward bitter nastiness and partisanship” Norquist?

    Grover “Congressional Democrats are like castrated farm animals” Norquist?

    Grover “Drown the Government in a Bathtub” Norquist?

    It’s official: Jane Hamsher is a scumbag.

  99. 99.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Tattoosydney: She’s so purty–me likey! Next time, though, get me one who swings MY way!

    P.S. Merry Christmas to you and your real hubby. We’re supposed to get up to twenty-two inches of snow (seven inches, three times!), so that improves MY mood.

  100. 100.

    Max

    @valdivia: Yup yup.

    God how I loved Culture Club and Duran Duran.

    P.S. HAPPY to all of the BJ community. I’m so glad I found this place and so glad I left many other places.

    P.P.S. I’m watching Steven Segal “Lawman” and I swear to god, Segal just said, in some sort of southern drawl “who dat is?”. I love this show.

  108. 108.

    Mnemosyne

    It’s not a song, but did you know you can get David Sedaris’ Christmas essay “Six to Eight Black Men” online? Yes you can!

    (It’s the text, not the audio. I was too lazy to go look for the audio. It’s Christmas Eve, damn it!)

  111. 111.

    Mnemosyne

    @valdivia:

    It looks like Geldof was in a commerical protesting the change to the Euro that included Rik Mayall as Hitler saying how much he loved the EU. So it really didn’t have much to do with Geldof except that he was one of several celebrities who appeared in the commercial with Mayall.

    Gosh, Rik Mayall of “The Young Ones” did something in bad taste? There’s a shocker for you. It’s like “Breaking news: Kanye West was a jerk in public.”

  114. 114.

    RedKitten

    @asiangrrlMN:

    @pharniel: Love BNL with Sarah (sigh) McLachlan.

    Yeah, the harmonies in that song are excellent.

    Good choice, DougJ — Fairytale in New York is a fave of mine as well. :)

    Merry Christmas to my wonderful Balloon Juice family! May your season be one of love, reflection, and appreciation for the small, simple pleasures that make life grand.

  115. 115.

    Hob

    Aw man, I always loved that Pogues song but hadn’t ever seen the video – so well done – black & white is the only way to show a New York winter.

    The song still kills me every time, but I got sadder this time because I vividly remember actually saying something like “I’ve got a feeling this year’s for me and you”, to my ex, just about a year ago. It really wasn’t.

  119. 119.

    4jkb4ia

    @Demo Woman:
    You could actually say that this is all Rahm’s fiendish plot to split the left-wing blogosphere so that Obama can appeal to the center unimpeded. Hey, it was obvious.

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