Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. Do not congratulate. This is not business as usual.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

This blog will pay for itself.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

FFS people, this was a good thing. take the win.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

In my day, never was longer.

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73Comments

  1. 1.

    asiangrrlMN

    I love him, too. He’s cute. However, give AP some time. He’ll get there. Probably not with the Vikings, but he’ll get there.

    P.S. Sweetness for me.

    P.P.S. TUUUUUNCH!

  2. 2.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Well, if you’re gonna do that,. then I’m gonna do this.

    #44 king of the straight arm and slippery as a minner.

    And my high school football hero.

  3. 3.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Cole, please give these folks a tunch photo. It is painful to see the jonesing for the King of Kittehs.

  9. 9.

    You Don't Say

    I didn’t start watching football until his last season, when they mostly used him to barrel through the last five yards so it was fun to see him really running.

    I don’t know why NBC dumped him. He may not have been the best analyst, but he was good at interviewing. Tiki Barber looks miserable now, they should have given Bettis that job.

  11. 11.

    Midnight Marauder

    @You Don’t Say:

    I don’t know why NBC dumped him. He may not have been the best analyst, but he was good at interviewing. Tiki Barber looks miserable now, they should have given Bettis that job.

    No, he really wasn’t. Jerome Bettis was as good as a studio analyst/interviewer as he was at not being fat. And saying that he’s better suited for the job than Tiki Barber is, quite possibly, the pinnacle of damning someone with faint praise.

  12. 12.

    Incertus

    Better than George Rogers/Chuck Muncie/Dalton Hilliard/Deuce McAlister/Reggie Bush/any other Saints running back you care to name? Yeah, probably. I know I’m like +6 and all, but I shouldn’t be having this much trouble coming up with the names of Saints running backs.

  13. 13.

    John Cole

    @arguingwithsignposts: He wore the wrong colors. I will say that one of my all time favorite NFL quotes was Bum Phillips talking about Earl Campbell, and someone said something to the effect that “Earl is so big he can not run a mile” and Phillips said “That’s fine, if it is 4th and a mile I won’t put him in.”

  16. 16.

    John Cole

    @MattR: Every shower, and I honestly mean, every time I shower and wash myself off with a luffa, which is every morning, basically, when I soap up, I say, “But Ironhead…”

  22. 22.

    MattR

    @Incertus: Fred McAfee is infamous in my fantasy football league. It is kind of a long story but it involves ExLax brownies the night before and someone (a Saints fan) being forced to do part of the draft from the bathroom due to time constraints.

  23. 23.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @MattR:

    It is kind of a long story but it involves ExLax brownies the night before and someone (a Saints fan) being forced to do part of the draft from the bathroom due to time constraints.

    That is way tmi. way tmi. the helicopters … they … aren’t … laughing.

  26. 26.

    John Cole

    I also have unconditional love for Dirt Dawson , Greg Lloyd, Woodson, Lake, and Hines Ward. Lloyd:

    People forget how good that defense was- Brenson Buckner, Lethon Flowers, Chad Brown, Kevin Greene, Myron Bell, Gibso, Deion Figures, Kevin Henry, Carnell Lake, Woodson.

    Just fucking sick.

    Woodson:

    Good times.

  27. 27.

    Incertus

    @MattR: I’m trying to figure out how Fred McAfee would have affected anyone’s fantasy football draft, even at the height of his career, unless he was one of the people playing fantasy football, in which case…

  30. 30.

    MattR

    @Incertus: Well this was before McAfee’s second season so he had some promise. But really, that was part of the fun. This was pre-Internet, it was towards the end of the draft and my friend was without a magazine so he was just yelling out whatever players (ie Saints) he could think of. He also ended up with the Saints D, Morten Anderson and possibly Bobby Hebert as backups.

  31. 31.

    burnspbesq

    The Trojan Family is extremely proud of Troy Polamalu, but wait’ll you see Taylor Mays in the NFL. He’s going to be the best Trojan defensive player in the NFL since Ronnie Lott. Hell, he may be better than Ronnie Lott.

  33. 33.

    Incertus

    @MattR: I’m working on something–a poem, an essay, I’m not sure yet–about the names of Saints players who either finished up their careers in New Orleans, who only lasted a couple of seasons, or who were career backups. There are some awesome names in there–my current favorites are Happy Feller and Jubilee Dunbar.

  36. 36.

    burnspbesq

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Don’t forget the OG of badass D-backs, Night Train Lane.

    Or Lester Hayes, for that matter.

    And then there is the sickest fuck to ever come out of the Ivy League, Gary Fencik.

  40. 40.

    MattR

    @John Cole: If you look at his entire career, Steve Atwater is not near the top of the list. But if we are talking about one play, I will take his hit on Christian Okoye on MNF in 1990

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    I’ve never had nothing but mad love for The Bus. Plus for whatever reason I find him extremely attractive. Maybe it’s the big teddy bear quality in him, I dunno.

    I’m just waiting until Toby Gerhart starts tearing up defenses in the NFL.

  42. 42.

    John Cole

    Atwater was awesome. Of course, when he did it, it was considered tough football. When Ward and Ryan Clark play like that- they are “dirty.” Remember that hit Atwater delivered against the Packers in the SB?

  43. 43.

    ajr22

    Man the bus runs over my man Urlacher in that video. For any gaming nerds out there, Jerome Bettis’s truck stick in madden is legendary!

  44. 44.

    MattR

    @John Cole: That Packers hit was devastating. Knocked three players, including himself, out of the game. And no arguments from me about the change in play. I hated watching John Lynch the Bronco get penalties for hits that John Lynch the Buccaneer made without a flag.

    @ajr22: Nothing can ever top Bo Jackson in Super Tecmo Bowl. My favorite part of his dominance is that people will stop him to talk about the video game and not his actual exploits on the field.

  47. 47.

    mak

    Bus was good – a better Csonka than either Riggins or Czonka himself. And if you wanted to build the perfect running back from scratch, he would look like both Sanders and Walter. But if Wayne Gretzky is the greatest hockery player ever, then it’s gotta be Gale Sayers FTW. Watch his highlight reel and you’ll see him do stuff humans just cannot do.

  48. 48.

    Mako

    loved that twinkle-toed fat man. Oh yes. I love that fat man and I am unashamed.

    Nothing wrong with that. Who doesn’t want to pat the taut behind of a muscular tight end? Seriously, not like we are gay or anything, we just like watching men in tight suits wrestle.

  49. 49.

    J. Michael Neal

    @John Cole:

    Atwater was awesome. Of course, when he did it, it was considered tough football. When Ward and Ryan Clark play like that- they are “dirty.”

    Well, you have to make your choices. You can have play like Steve Atwater and large numbers of players with post-career degenerative brain disorders, or you can have neither. You can’t have the former without the latter, though.

  51. 51.

    NobodySpecial

    The Bus may not have been Walter or Barry, but I liked him ever since the Rams drafted him. Of course, I’ve been partial to a good running back since I saw Walter and Billy Sims, who was another great back taken too soon with leg injuries. Barry Word/Christian Okoye came into the league 15 years too soon, as well.

    DB’s I never paid attention to before Rod Woodson, either.

    And does anyone besides me ever wonder how Urlacher would have done had they kept him as a safety?

  52. 52.

    geg6

    As for all-time), I have to take Sweetness. Sanders is a good choice for #2. And I loves me some Bus. But I cannot even believe you would call Franco a pussy. Perhaps it’s because I actually know the guy and it prejudices me. Perhaps it’s because I’m a lot older than you and can remember how bad it was for Pittsburgh football fans before the 1970s and the ecstasy and joy that the golden Noll years brought us. But Franco was a master of the position. His style worked and worked to take the Steelers to four Super Bowl championships and himself into the HoF. And he will probably always have the most legendary play of all time. Pussies don’t get there. Franco did.

  53. 53.

    geg6

    And of course I’m undoubtedly in moderation for too many references to what can be a cat, a coward, or a female genital area. FYWP.

  56. 56.

    madmommy

    @burnspbesq:

    You’d be hard-pressed to find a more entertaining half-time show than at the Bayou Classic (Grambling v. Southern). No one wants to make a snack or bathroom run at half-time for fear they’ll miss something amazing!

  57. 57.

    fizzlogic

    My introduction to Bettis was at the ’92 Sugar Bowl when my Gators played Notre Dame. The lack of depth in Florida’s front seven went on display when Bettis began to run all over Florida in the second half. It was awful.

    Nonetheless, I liked Bettis ever since.

  58. 58.

    rs

    Joey Browner, Ed Reed, Cliff Harris, and Brian Dawkins belong in a discussion of punishing safeties, along with Atwater, Lynch, and Ronnie Lott. The ranking of a list of best safeties would be a little different, but Lott would be #1 on both lists.

  59. 59.

    rs

    And I forgot Jack Tatum, another monster hitter who should hold a place near and dear in Steeler hearts for his role in the Immaculate Reception.

  60. 60.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    Since we’re getting all homey with our picks:

    John Riggins. Great personality, tough as nails. Best quote “I’m bored, I’m broke and I’m back.” after he sat out a season over a contract dispute.

    Earl Campbell was a wonder to watch…and he paid the price. He’s a physical wreck. He’s a poster child for how debilitating the NFL is. It’s another reason why Barry Sanders was smart to *walk* away from the came while he could still walk.

  61. 61.

    Honus

    Only one greatest Rb in NFL history. Jim Brown. Nobody who ever saw him play will disagree. 232 lbs, and very fast. When he retired he held records for single season and career yards, in a 9 year career and 12 game season. He also caught almost 30 passes a year. He was 29 when he retired. If he’d played a 16 game season and another 4-5 years, nobody could approach his records. And they gave him a stick to play lacrosse.

  65. 65.

    Montysano

    At :50 in, Bettis runs over a DB like he wasn’t even there. Amazing.

    Jack Tatum… yeah.

    Jim Brown, also.

  66. 66.

    burnspbesq

    @Honus:

    And they gave him a stick to play lacrosse.

    Jim Brown was once heard to say that if he could have made a living playing lax, he would never have picked up a football.

    My next-door neighbor when I was first learning to play lax had been a rower at Dartmouth when Brown was playing lax at Syracuse, and I heard some stories from people who played against him that are so outlandish, they seem like they must have been written by Mark Twain.

    Another all-time great lacrosse player who is much more well-known to the general public for his exploits in another sport is Bruce Arena, the former coach of the US men’s national soccer team. Arena was, in a sense, the Bobby Orr of lax, the first defenseman with serious stick skills.

  67. 67.

    Steve Balboni

    If you ignore his being a whiny prima-donna when he was in St. Louis then yeah I can see why you might think he was “great.”

    Fact is the guy straight up Q U I T in order to force that trade to Pittsburgh. He’s in the same category as John Elway and Eli Manning imo.

  68. 68.

    wufnik

    The fact that it took sixty-something comments for someone to mention Jim Brown speaks a lot about the age of this group. For a lot of us old farts, Brown is the definitive RB.

  70. 70.

    Honus

    @burnspbesq: I never knew Bruce Arena was a former lax player when he coached UVA to 4 consecutive NCAA soccer titles. And UVA has had a few decent lacrosse teams over the years.

  71. 71.

    Honus

    @Montysano: Jim Brown ran over LBs and DTs like they were nothing. Of course, in those days, they weren’t as big as now. Except for Big Daddy Lipscomb.
    I think it was Dick Schaap who never voted for the heisman again because he realized it was a farce after Brown lost it to Paul Hornung who was on a 2-8 Notre Dame team.

  72. 72.

    Honus

    @burnspbesq: Seahawks DT Patrick Kerney won a national championship and was an all-ACC lax player at UVA. He was recruited to play lax at UVA and walked on to the football team.

  73. 73.

    ron

    when it all plays out 10 years from now.

    1. payton
    2. peterson
    3. chris johnson
    4. emmit smith
    5. sanders

    i know youre joking with bettis.

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