Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The gop couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

“woke” is the new caravan.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

Democrats have delivered the Square Deal, the New Deal, the Fair Deal, and now… the Big Joe Biden Deal.

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

ha ha ha! Nice try weird people.

You cannot shame the shameless.

I desperately hope that, yet again, I am wrong.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

Second rate reporter says what?

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

People are complicated. Love is not.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickel?”

Chutkan laughs. Lauro sits back down.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

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84Comments

  3. 3.

    robertdsc

    I was just thinking that we all need a break for a bit. Lo and behold, this thread appears.

    I didn’t see it get covered in a thread, but what do folks think of the Colts pulling their starters and dodging the 16-0 bullet on purpose?

  5. 5.

    MikeJ

    So far we’ve just had talk about pet pics. Cole won’t take any action, like using his bully pulpit. I came here for the hope of pet pics, but Cole is just like every other blogger. These are not pets I can believe in.

  6. 6.

    danimal

    @robertdsc: As a Charger fan, anything that increases angst in Colt-ville is fine by me. Did you see Manning’s face after he was pulled. Sure looked upset.

  7. 7.

    BobbyK

    WVU? West Virginia? HAH go CUSE!!! “We’ll” be seeing “you” on Jan 16th at which time “we’ll” be kicking some WVU butt!!!

  8. 8.

    Chat Noir

    @John Cole: Maybe we’ll get a Lily or Tunch picture as an update? The picture of Lily in her reindeer antlers was priceless. I love her transformation from the timid, scared dog that you adopted last spring to the happy girl she seems to be now.

    And Tunch is just awesome.

  10. 10.

    Punchy

    Hockey’s a tough sport to predict. Who’da foreseen the damn Caps puck-lined by the shitty Canes lass nite? And the Mighty Pens stoned at home 2 nites ago by a bunch of Canadian tree attachments?

    All I know is my crappy Bears stood up and kicked the fucking Vikes in the va-jayjay, winning me a huge fantasy pick’em league week and trash-talking rights for…like…4 seconds, or until someone points out their respective records.

  12. 12.

    MattR

    @robertdsc: I can definitely see both sides of the Colts decision. What I find most interesting is that most people seem to be focusing on what effect it will have on the Colts Super Bowl run while minimal attention is being paid to the fact that their decision affected the playoff hunt. I have a feeling people would flip out if either Todd Haley or Tom Cable stated that they were not playing their starters in week 17 because they wanted to get a better draft pick.

  13. 13.

    Ed in NJ

    63 percent of college football fans want a playoff instead of the bowl system, but 48 percent don’t want the government to intervene:

    ESPN poll article

    There’s probably some snarky comment I could make comparing this public support for a playoff to the public option, and how it would be watered down in Congress, but I’m home with the flu and don’t have the energy.

    I’ll just say:

    Heckuva job, Ari!

  16. 16.

    Corner Stone

    Don’t forget to crank up the Poutrage Generation Thread Poster before you go.
    Set it to:
    1) I am the only one with legitimate concerns!
    or
    2) So-and-sos are EXACTLY like other so-and-sos because they criticized Obama!
    or
    3) Random Strawman

  17. 17.

    MattR

    @Ed in NJ: I love the fact that one of the BCS’s defenses is that no one has come up wiith a playoff system that would not end the current bowl system. Beyond the fact that I have seen proposals that do so, it really says something that they think maintaining the current bowl system is more important than naming a “real” national champion. (Of course I understand “the current bowl system” is largely code for $$$.)

  18. 18.

    Kryptik

    I’ve been keeping away from political sites and blogs for a little to keep my blood pressure down. Good to see I can ease myself in back here with something non-political:

    SO, John: what do you think of the WVU Hoops team so far? I’m glad their winning, even when they’re being tested. But they’ve been having trouble closing, and with Syracuse establishing themselves as a legit Big East contender, and a good Purdue team up after tonight’s game, I find myself a little worried.

  19. 19.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @MattR:
    Yeah, Indianapolis went apesh*t, ripping into the general manager and wanting refunds, etc. But a lot of them don’t really consider what would happen if Peyton Manning were to get an ACL tear or something in one of those two games. They’re not the first playoff bound team to do it, either. I’ve been listening to ESPN Indianapolis during the game and over the last two days just to hear the trainwreck. And if the Jets were to come back and beat them in the playoffs, it would turn up to 11!

  20. 20.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @MattR:

    it really says something that they think maintaining the current bowl system is more important than naming a “real” national champion.

    Because no other ncaa football division has one. :/

    The BCS is the Goldman Sachs of college football.

  21. 21.

    Midnight Marauder

    @John Cole:

    Why exactly do you hate the pet pics so much? Barely a day goes by without you complaining about them.

    I’m pretty sure eastriver is an Ensign Emopants in the firebagger brigade, Cole.

  22. 22.

    Kryptik

    @MattR:

    So far, I think the only real legit argument against the playoff system has nothing to do with the mishmash that the BCS is. The only problem with a playoff system is the fact that you’d be pushing students (yes, we have to remember that some of these guys are students and actually study, even if all of them don’t) into 2, possibly 3 extra games, depending on how the playoff system would be implemented.

  27. 27.

    RedKitten

    @eastriver: Your bitching makes absolutely no sense. It would be like going to McDonald’s every day and bitching because they serve fries.

    Tell you what, though…you COULD always set up your own blog where you can post about whatever you like. You can completely avoid pet pictures altogether. I’m sure you’ll get a wide readership, what with that charm of yours.

  28. 28.

    Kryptik

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    I think the only issue with Indy doing it is that many attribute their playoff issues with going in cold into the playoffs after having starters rested for the final games. Of course, they played out last year as well…

  31. 31.

    Keith G

    Cold, rainy and dark in Houston. Its seems that there might be a bowl game played here but no one can tell for sure.

    So, I am roasting many lbs of chicken breast for future recipes. Anyone have some suggestions for a kick-ass chicken salad?

    jeffreyw?

  32. 32.

    LT

    Dude, It’s not “Penguins at seven,” it’s “Sabres at seven.” The Penguins just happen to be the team they’re playing.

  33. 33.

    MattR

    @arguingwithsignposts: The other divisions play fewer regular season games (10 or 11 I believe). If Div 1A went to a playoff they would probably have to limit the regular season to 12 games, including conference championships.

    However, I think the student aspect is overblown. First off, it would not affect that many teams. Second, I don’t know that it would be any worse than what athletes in other sports go through. And lastly, I think they could figure out ways to mitigate this if they were really intertested in creating a playoff.

  40. 40.

    Midnight Marauder

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Yeah, Indianapolis went apesh*t, ripping into the general manager and wanting refunds, etc. But a lot of them don’t really consider what would happen if Peyton Manning were to get an ACL tear or something in one of those two games. They’re not the first playoff bound team to do it, either. I’ve been listening to ESPN Indianapolis during the game and over the last two days just to hear the trainwreck. And if the Jets were to come back and beat them in the playoffs, it would turn up to 11!

    See, this is one area I have a problem with regarding people defending Caldwell’s decision to pull Manning and the rest of the starters, but especially Manning. How does pulling Peyton Manning in the second half improve the chances of the Colts winning the Super Bowl? We are talking about a guy who has not missed a start ever. We are talking about a guy who has one of the best offensive lines in the league, an offensive line that keeps him upright and untouched on a perpetual basis. But you’re telling me that now, all of a sudden, you’re soooooo worried about your Ironman of a QB going down with a blown out ACL? Really?! Dubious, I say.

    And moreover, let’s take the case of Curtis “Aw Shit, Y’All Done Fucked Up And Let Me In This Bitch” Painter. Did Caldwell really believe that sticking Curtis Painter in for a–based on Caldwell’s logic–meaningless game would get the kid enough reps to be ready if/when He Who Never Gets Hurt actually gets hurt in a playoff game? Is Painter honestly any better prepared to take the Colts to victory over, say, the Patriots or the Chargers if Peyton goes down in a few weeks?

    But instead, Caldwell decided to rock the boat and overrule the person who really runs things for the Colts (Peyton, obviously), and the one time he does that all season, all hell breaks loose in the locker room and the city. Even Reggie Wayne was pissed about it:

    “Who wouldn’t [want to pursue perfection]?” Reggie Wayne said, per Kravitz. “I mean . . . who wouldn’t? Doesn’t everybody want to be a part of history? Not a season goes by that you don’t hear about the ’72 Dolphins.”
    __
    “I guess there’s a bigger picture. We all wanted to play, but the big dog made a decision and we have to roll with that decision. We came out after halftime and felt like we were starting to roll and could score some points, but the manager took us off the mound.”

    Jim Caldwell just made his own decision making the focal point of all Colts playoff coverage, and the team is going to suffer for it. So help that man if they lose next week AND THEN get bounced in their first playoff game.

  42. 42.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Midnight Marauder:
    Well, for one thing, they were playing the #1 defense in the league. BTW, never missing a start – ever always comes to an end.

    And, FWIW, I don’t think that I would have made that call, but it wasn’t Caldwell’s to make. Poulan made the call, I can guarantee you that. He was saying as much on his show Monday night. It’s definitely made a pleasant break from the politics listening to the endless talking points about that game.

  43. 43.

    eastriver

    @John Cole:

    I bitch about the pet pics because 1) the bitching makes me laugh, and 2) I dream that my bitching irks you as much as the pictures irk me.

  49. 49.

    Anne Laurie

    @General Winfield Stuck: You are a better person than I am; I’d have linked Eastriver to the new “marking” shot.

    Charlie, in whatever poses, remains a dollbaby.

    We — and by that, I mean John — should put up a ‘Hail and Farewell’ post for all the animal companions that Balloon Juicers have adopted or lost during the past year…

  51. 51.

    asiangrrlMN

    I went to this museum yesterday, which was kick-ass. The best part? Cute little black kitteh (real one) sitting on the glass ceiling above us. SO cute. I wanted to take him/her home with me.

    So, someone explain something to me. I get the emopants reference, but where did firebagger start? I get it’s for the left side rabblerousers, but what is the origin?

  53. 53.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Anne Laurie:

    We—and by that, I mean John—should put up a ‘Hail and Farewell’ post for all the animal companions that Balloon Juicers have adopted or lost during the past year…

    Excellent Idea!!

  56. 56.

    burnspbesq

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Normally, I would mock UK for playing some bottle of weak sauce like Hartford. However, Duke’s last two games before conference play begins are against Cal State Long Beach and Penn. And our women played the weakest sauce ever last night; in their game against crosstown HBCU North Carolina Central, they were up 65-9 at the half and forced 45 turnovers.

    So I will be shutting up about Cupcake City Baybeee.

  62. 62.

    burnspbesq

    I am shocked to learn that I actually own five of Rolling Stone’s 10 best albums of 2009 (U2, Springsteen, Neko Case, The XX, and Sonic Youth).

    Maybe I’m not such an old fart after all.

  63. 63.

    asiangrrlMN

    @burnspbesq: No, it’s almost six-thirty. I woke up at five-thirty, and I couldn’t get back to sleep despite being exhausted. I will try again, but I wanted to get caught up online. I skip BJ for a day or two, and I feel like I have to run run run just to catch up.

  65. 65.

    Midnight Marauder

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    And, FWIW, I don’t think that I would have made that call, but it wasn’t Caldwell’s to make. Poulan made the call, I can guarantee you that. He was saying as much on his show Monday night. It’s definitely made a pleasant break from the politics listening to the endless talking points about that game.

    I know that it was Bill Pollian (owner of the Colts) who made the call, and that Caldwell was just following orders. Nonetheless, that doesn’t make it go down any smoother. That’s what Wayne was referring to in that quote that “the big dog” (Pollian) had made the decision.

    My point on the Colts is this. For the entirety of this decade, this is a team that has had numerous struggles with closing out the season with any kind of (positive) momentum, and put themselves in the right frame of mind to reach the lofty expectations they and their fans have. I don’t think Pollian or Caldwell did their team any favors with this move, and they created a wholly unnecessary distraction when they had otherwise cruised through the season pretty much unscathed by media shitstorms.

    Well, for one thing, they were playing the #1 defense in the league. BTW, never missing a start – ever always comes to an end.

    True. But then again, 16-0 (and more importantly, 19-0) don’t always come around that often.

  66. 66.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @burnspbesq:
    But look who those albums are by, with the exception of the XX (whom I’ve never heard of), they’re all “old farts,” which says something about Rolling Stone as much as about you.

    I think their demographic is graying.

  67. 67.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Midnight Marauder:
    Jim Irsay is the owner of the Colts. Polian is the general manager.

    Like I said, I don’t really care one way or the other – I like watching Manning play, because he is one of the best and that offense is often a machine, but I’m not necessarily an Indy fan.

    I’m more recounting the team talking points. Even today, they’re talking about it on AM 1070 (which you can hear by internet stream, btw).

    ETA: just like I like watching most every other top qb (warner, rothlisberger, palmer, romo, favre, rogers, etc.) except the Pats, whom I do not like.

    ETA II: Apparently the owner wasn’t too happy with the way it was handled by Polian according to one of the hosts just on.

  68. 68.

    Midnight Marauder

    @MattR:

    Did you see/hear that Polian was getting so much abuse from fans/callers on the radio show that he shut it down before it was over?

    Well, the official word from the team and the radio station is that the plug was NOT pulled:

    “When programming becomes really compelling, the host’s obligation is to continue despite the need to play commercials, and Bob Lamey and Bill Polian did that admirably,” said 93 WIBC and 1070 The Fan programming director Kent Sterling in a release issued by the Colts. “The result was that there were six minutes of commercials to play during the final seven minutes of the show. Bill remained in the studio until the show went off the air, and Bob used the final minute to wrap up the show. What happened last night is business as usual in radio.”
    __
    The fact that the Colts were forced to acknowledge the situation and provide an explanation demonstrates the depths of the hostility that the fans currently are feeling, both for not trying to win on Sunday and for brushing off the complaints raised by folks who realize that, while the Colts will be in the hunt for a Super Bowl title as long as Peyton Manning is still playing for the team, chances at perfection are rare, and as such should be embraced.

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Jim Irsay is the owner of the Colts. Polian is the general manager.

    Right. Thanks for the correction.

  70. 70.

    burnspbesq

    OK, guess who wrote this:

    The surprising train-wreck season of sniveling NFL superdouche Jay Cutler proves it beyond any doubt: the Chicago Bears quarterbacking job is the most cursed position in sports, the Bermuda Triangle of lineup spots.

  71. 71.

    MattR

    @Midnight Marauder: Heh. I just saw that and was coming back here to correct myself. I have not looked for a first hand account from someone actually listening to figure out how much of that is PR spin.

    EDIT: Apparently the FM feed cut off in mid caller but the AM station also broadcasting the show continued on.

  74. 74.

    SixStringFanatic

    @Midnight Marauder: Polian’s not the owner, he’s the GM – Jim Irsay owns the team.

    I have been a Steelers fan since I was 6 but I live in Indianapolis and my dad and brother are both Colts fans, so I like the Colts and I’ll cheer for them any time they’re not playing the Steelers. Though I respect Bill Polian’s football smarts and his accomplishments (GM that built the 4-time AFC winning Bills; first GM of the Carolina Panthers, an expansion team that made the playoffs in their second year of existence), I think he’s an asshole. He’s thin-skinned, does not take criticism well at all and is downright rude and dismissive of the local media types (as media types go, the ones in this town are pretty easy on TPTB). Unfortunately, after a couple of days thought, I find myself having to partially defend the asshole.
    The problems that Indy has had in the playoffs this decade don’t really have as much to do with the “rest/don’t rest” decision as some folks think. In the early part of this decade, the New England Patriots were simply a better, tougher team (and I hate writing that sentence more than I hate defending the actions of one Bill Polian). In ’05, Tony Dungy’s son (who had spent a good amount of time on the sidelines at Colts games) tragically took his own life just before the playoffs started. On top of that, one of the team’s starting cornerbacks, Nick Harper, was STABBED IN THE LEG by his wife the night before their playoff game against the Stillers. He played that game, but when Jerome Bettis fumbled the ball at the goal line with less than two minutes left, who scooped up the loose ball? Nick Harper. In the ’07 playoffs, Dwight Freeney missed the game and Robert Mathis played with a bad leg injury that severely hampered his effectiveness. Those are only Indy’s two best D linemen. So Polian’s completely valid concern is for the health of his players heading into the playoffs.
    All of that said, however, the way it was handled is mostly what has fans enraged. If you were gonna pull the starters, why would you wait until 10 minutes into the 3rd quarter? Why not do it in the first half or at half time? For that matter, if you’re concerned about the health of your skill players, why did they play the whole game against Jacksonville the week before (on a Thursday night – short week – against a team that ALWAYS plays tough against the Colts)? And why pull the key guys with only a five point lead? The Jets were loading up blitzes which is a bad thing to do against Manning; I’m sure he was waiting for a good opportunity to burn them downfield.
    The fact that they played everybody the entire game against the Jaguars and had let the starters start the second half led the paying customers to believe that they were in fact going to try for the perfect season. I don’t disagree with management’s decision to avoid injuries, I just don’t like HOW they went about it.
    Oh, and when you’ve done something ham-handed like this, don’t go on a radio show the next night and tell the fans that “the team wasn’t playing very good and they probably weren’t gonna beat the Jets anyway.” Did I tell you that I think Bill Polian’s an asshole? I believe I did.

  77. 77.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @freelancer:

    I was fucking with you. Yes it’s giving you teh bird.

    But I’m pretty sure it was directed at someone other than kwAwk. Naming no names [cough][cough]

  79. 79.

    asiangrrlMN

    @SiubhanDuinne: It’s because it can’t EAT a bird. Still a cute dolly.

    Colts: They lost, eh? Sad. So sad. They would have been damned either way, methinks. (Says someone who watched not a whit of football this past weekend).

  80. 80.

    Anne Laurie

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I get the emopants reference, but where did firebagger start?

    One of our brill commentariat portmanteau’ed the FIREdoglake ‘pups’ acting like teaBAGGERS. (Who wants to claim frist first credit?) Given nonsop nooz coverage of the Undie-Bomber, irresistable!

  81. 81.

    Midnight Marauder

    @Anne Laurie:

    One of our brill commentariat portmanteau’ed the FIREdoglake ‘pups’ acting like teaBAGGERS. (Who wants to claim frist first credit?) Given nonsop nooz coverage of the Undie-Bomber, irresistable!

    I think I will go for the gold on this one.

    Edit: But I’m not claiming credit for inventing the term or anything. No one but firebaggers themselves could come up with something so brilliant. No, I’m just a dude on the interwebs who happened to find it and post it in a highly mocking fashion. Nothing more, nothing less.

  84. 84.

    Paul in KY

    FWIW, Colts did right thing by trying to protect Payton in a meaningless game (for their playoff purposes). The backup is terrible. If Payton goes down they are doomed.

    Look for same thing in last reg season game. They may go in 14-2.

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