Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

We won’t go back.

Motown is Joe-Town!

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

I really should read my own blog.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Washington Post’s Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. keep building.

Come on, man.

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Reader Interactions

134Comments

  2. 2.

    Yutsano

    Awww I feel wuved. I think this call is gonna stand although my brother who played football says he’s not sure.

    EDIT: Okay never mind they overruled it.

  7. 7.

    Yutsano

    Okay the whole Ochocinco in the truck cab thing is just ridiculous. I think I’m figuring out how he’s not married.

  10. 10.

    ihop

    holy crap, i’d say joe theismann is the tim mccarver of football, but i don’t know who comes out worse with that comparison.

  12. 12.

    burnspbesq

    It will be interesting to see how many college football coaches are able to leverage the USC vacancy into substantial pay raises.

    I’m betting it’s either Pedersen from Boise or one of the two former USC players who are current NFL head coaches, Fisher and Del Rio.

  13. 13.

    Pigs & Spiders

    I have a feeling that this game is going to prove without a doubt that the Bengals rolled over and played dead last weekend to fuck the Steelers.

    Bastards.

  15. 15.

    Midnight Marauder

    @asiangrrlMN:

    What kind of pizza?

    @Corner Stone:

    If you ain’t ordering the $10 ANY from PizzaHut then you just ain’t livin’ right.

    I’m rocking the extra large pepperoni from Crispy Crust. And I got the 12 piece hot wings ($2.95 with any pizza order, son!).

    Back to the game, Sanchez doesn’t look too bad so far. Although the Bengals’ D is hittin’ today.

  16. 16.

    Corner Stone

    @Ash: Well, actually, I was referring to the scene where the 130 pound girl looks at the cops, says her GBCW and then pulls her lost love over a ledge with her to their death.
    Not really ranking alternative watchables.

  17. 17.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: It’s actually for the exact same reason I think T.O. ain’t hitched, and no it’s not what you’re thinking. Their egos are so tied up in their football personas…nothing is left after that. A woman has to complement that or else she serves no purpose. These guys will both be emotional basket cases when they finally retire.

  18. 18.

    demkat620

    Mark Prston on CNN just now said Michael Steele thinks he should run for president in 2012.

    I can’t breathe. Please oh please oh. Bring. It. On.

  22. 22.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: Pedersen is already getting phone calls from the University of Spoiled Children I can almost guarantee it. Still to this day BSU is considered a stepping stone job.

  25. 25.

    Max

    For my pool, I need Cincy and Philly to win.

    Not a lot of confidence points on Cin/NYJ, but I REALLY need the fucking Cowboys to lose.

    Plus, I hate them, so there’s that.

    ETA – and a hello back to you, C-Stone.

  28. 28.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Midnight Marauder: Nice! You are really ready for some football.

    @burnspbesq: WHAT USC vacancy? Man, I feel like I haven’t watched sports in YEARS, not just a couple of weeks.

    @Yutsano: Yeah, no kidding. Both of them will have to go do Dancing With the Stars and shit like that after they retire, or it’s not going to be pretty.

  30. 30.

    JenJen

    Stop wasting challenges, Marvin! Jesus!!

    Grrrrrrrrrr. Way to go. Out of challenges for the rest of the game. Who the hell is running the Bengals booth?

  31. 31.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Carroll is now a Seachicken. I’m really starting to wonder how he’ll fit in up here. This might turn into a total disaster like his first NFL coaching gig was. My boss is gonna be swearing up a shitstorm when I see him on Monday. There really is nothing funnier than listening to a British man curse.

  37. 37.

    Midnight Marauder

    @Yutsano:

    Carroll is now a Seachicken. I’m really starting to wonder how he’ll fit in up here. This might turn into a total disaster like his first NFL coaching gig was. My boss is gonna be swearing up a shitstorm when I see him on Monday. There really is nothing funnier than listening to a British man curse.

    Yeah, I’m curious to see how he makes the transition this time. The expectations for him will be high, of course, even though the Seahawks have been in pretty bad shape post-Super Bowl appearance. I’m even more curious to see who we get to fill the void at USC. I hear there’s a chance that Jeff Fisher of Tennessee Titans fame may end up in the running. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but he’s always been a damn solid coach.

    Except for when Kerry Collins is prominently involved.

  38. 38.

    Corner Stone

    Braylon Edwards is a performance artist, isn’t he? He’s just spoofing everybody, right?
    Dude is big, fast and strong but drops significant balls just to further his artist career. He’s putting together a catalog for a one man exhibit in New York.
    There’s no other explanation.

  44. 44.

    Yutsano

    @ajr22: :: sigh :: guess I’d better get my tail to the store then. I have a couple of other errands and things I should be doing besides getting wrapped up in football.

  45. 45.

    Midnight Marauder

    We might have ourselves a real life ballgame here. Assuming that Braylon Edwards decides to play like a professional football player the rest of the game.

  49. 49.

    MikeJ

    I know tis the season, but MORE football threads? Huh, a live SNL tonight.

    If only they could combine things and have the SNFL. Unfunny people being clobbered by thyroid cases. That’s the only thing that would make me watch either one.

  50. 50.

    Midnight Marauder

    “But it hasn’t solved the problem of Carson Palmer being high all day.” — Joe Theismann

  54. 54.

    ajr22

    Shonn Greene representing the Hawkeyes well. I’m happy for the kid, he has a really interesting past. He was attending community college and working as a furniture mover only 2 years ago. He worked hard got his grades up and got back onto the team. Since then he has won the Doak Walker award and now is playing well in the playoffs.

  55. 55.

    JenJen

    Via Twitter, it really does look like Carson Palmer practiced all week by throwing to the Na’vi in “Avatar.”

    Fuck.

  56. 56.

    ihop

    if limas sweed really applies himself, someday he too will drop passes on the level of braylon edwards.

  58. 58.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: I personally go for both. The one thing that was really making me stall (my glass of water) is now gone so I’m off into the wilderness. Don’t have too much fun without me.

    Oh and I’m gonna roast and stuff a chicken for dinner tonight. Not not like THAT!

  60. 60.

    Midnight Marauder

    That was ridiculous. Some of the worst tackling I’ve seen all season. Sanchez is getting big today.

    Edit: And, of course, the Bengals can’t challenge because Marvin Lewis blew both of his challenges in the first quarter like an idiot. Not to say they would win that challenge anyway. That was a touchdown all the way.

  61. 61.

    mr. whipple

    if limas sweed really applies himself, someday he to will drop passes on the level of braylon edwards.

    Maybe. But Edwards is working hard to get a lock on being a bigger asshole.

  62. 62.

    Corner Stone

    @ihop:

    if limas sweed really applies himself, someday he to will drop passes on the level of braylon edwards.

    Sheeeitt. Limas wrote the M-F’ng book on dropping passes. Dude can drop passes in his sleep it takes other WR’s a lifetime to learn how to drop.

  64. 64.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: How can I have fun without you here? Oooooh, men in tight pants!

    Heh. You said stuff.

    @Max: We Vikes’ fans don’t have it, either, because we know the Vikes will fuck it up spectacularly in the playoffs. It’s just a given.

  65. 65.

    Corner Stone

    @JenJen:

    Via Twitter, it really does look like Carson Palmer practiced all week by throwing to the Na’vi in “Avatar.”

    So, Carlson now owns all the young conservative kiddos?
    All their base are belong to Carlson?

  68. 68.

    mcd410x

    Game started off with Cincy in the ascendancy, making adjustments from what they saw last week. The Jets have adapted and have regained the upper hand.

  70. 70.

    burnspbesq

    @mcd410x:

    Didja see the fabulous corner that Landon sent in to set up the first Everton goal?

    And how about that nasty volley my boy Radoslav Majewski hammered home last night? I was skeptical about Forest all fall, but I’m starting to believe.

  81. 81.

    jeffreyw

    @Morbo: Just beef and broccoli, does have some chili garlic paste in the brown sauce, but not full on hot like mongolian beef.

  82. 82.

    Midnight Marauder

    Wow, the Jets just blew that one hard. How do you just give away 3 points like that, especially on the road?

  84. 84.

    mcd410x

    @burnspbesq: I would have liked to have seen Donovan face Fabregas (stoopid injuries).

    Haven’t seen a thing with South Florida firing Leavitt yesterday for jacking a player — got lost in the shuffle.

  86. 86.

    MattR

    May I suggest that the Bengals run that fake screen, then handoff to Benson play a few more times. Or at least until the Jets figure out how to stop it.

  88. 88.

    Midnight Marauder

    The Bengals really need a score here. Not just so they have a chance to win (obviously), but so that I don’t lose what miniscule interest I still have in this game. Jeez, you are killing me here, guys.

    Edit: AND NOW WE HAVE A FOOTBALL GAME! To the house! Way to get big, Benson. That was huge.

  90. 90.

    Yutsano

    And all of a sudden it’s a ball game.

    And is it too much to ask for an asteroid to take out Theismann? PLZ?? Listening to him is beyond painful.

  93. 93.

    Midnight Marauder

    @Yutsano:

    And is it too much to ask for an asteroid to take out Theismann? PLZ?? Listening to him is beyond painful.

    This motley crew they’ve assembled for a booth is just abysmal. And Joe Gibbs?! Are you kidding me?! Who is the whiz kid that signed off on that masterstroke?

  96. 96.

    Midnight Marauder

    OH MY GOD! HE MISSED ANOTHER FIELD GOAL?! Wow, this is what you get for laying over last week, Cincinnati. This is what you get for screwing the Houston Texans out of their well-deserved trip to the playoffs.

    Fuckers.

  98. 98.

    Glocksman

    Heh…looks as if the refs trying to give the game to the Bungles with that bullshit personal foul penalty didn’t work.

    I guess Graham cracked. :)

  103. 103.

    Yutsano

    Well that’s that. I also just realized I have the house to myself for a few hours tonight. Amazingly enough I have to do some housework so I can’t enjoy it as much as I should…

  106. 106.

    asiangrrlMN

    @JenJen: Sorry, JenJen, I know the pain of watching your team lose a playoff game–too well.

    And, I really don’t need to see Charles Barkley with the hair extensions playing the piano again. No, believe me, I really don’t.

    @Yutsano: Ew on Palmer. And, there’s another game so fuck housework.

  107. 107.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: BTW nothing personal to JenJen but the Dawg will be happy with tonight’s result. He has a few ties to the Jets organization. Yes I wish I was watching it with him so I’ll just get that out of the way right now.

    EDIT: Awesome news about Lindsey Vonn. I winced when I heard about her wipeout and injury, guess she bounced right back and is kicking ass right now. Plus Mother Nature is cooperating well with the snow in Vancouver, it’s packed and beautiful up there right now.

  110. 110.

    TMol

    I have lurked here for over 5 years…so much so it is the #1 page on my Chrome start page…and I have just come out of hiding to say this….
    J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS.

    Sorry…It happens so rarely…I think I have a memory of watching a jets playoff game go bad on a missed field goal that a Pop Warner kicker could hit with ease, then getting out of the chair I was sitting in, pointing to my father and saying, “You did this to me!” (Made me a jets fan).

    Since my mom is a HUGE giants fan and my first “professional” football game was a Jets Giants pre-season game. I am not sure what the score was since I was so young…56-0 seems to stick in my mind though, it is nice to have one for my dad for a change.

  111. 111.

    Glocksman

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I’ll probably know that pain when the Colts go one and out just like they did when Dungy pulled the plug early in order to ‘rest up’.

  115. 115.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Hochouli. I read an interview about him once, he’s actually a rather interesting guy, I guess he’s trying to teach one of his sons how to be a ref as well.

  117. 117.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: If by some weird chance you need an attorney in Phoenix you should keep that e-mail address that’s where his main practice is. He also owns a beach house in San Diego. That’s how I knew he couldn’t be all bad. Oh and he’s divorced. :)

  118. 118.

    Midnight Marauder

    Looks like the Cowboys have a mild case of Bengalsitis right now. They should really get that checked out before it develops into something worse.

  119. 119.

    Yutsano

    OMG I just threw up a little. Dubya is at the game. At least Laura is next to him and looks like she’s pissed to be there.

  123. 123.

    Midnight Marauder

    Well, I think we can say that the Michael Vick Experiment certainly paid off on that one. Wow.

  125. 125.

    Midnight Marauder

    You got totally just got bailed out with that call, Romo. You had better step it up now, son.

  126. 126.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Remind me to listen to you more often. I decided to cook a frozen pizza and while it was cooking I went ahead and cleaned the kitchen. While loading the dishwasher I proceeded to drop a glass bowl and it shattered all over the floor. I got most of the glass up but now I can’t find the broom to clean it. Ugh.

  127. 127.

    mr. whipple

    As if I needed yet another reason to dislike the Hated and Despised™ Dallas Cowboys.

    But…but…It’s America’s team!

    Why do you hate Merka?

  129. 129.

    Morbo

    So it looks like having a bunch of injuries in the secondary makes it difficult to defend against the pass. Who knew?

  130. 130.

    Midnight Marauder

    I don’t think the Eagles are going to be able to keep up. Dallas is just lapping these fools right now.

  131. 131.

    Glocksman

    @mr. whipple:

    I don’t know if it’s true, but I once heard that the beloved Pittsburgh Steelers were offered first shot at that designation by the NFL, but turned it down.

    IOW, the Cowgirls received the Steelers’ sloppy seconds. :)
    I could say that if you’re a Steelers hater, you’re an America hater.

    Why do you hate America?

  132. 132.

    mcd410x

    I’m still surprised so many jumped on the Iggles bandwagon. They didn’t beat a playoff team this year and only had one win against a team with a winning record (Atl 9-7). Combined record of teams Philly has beaten, 71-105.

  133. 133.

    Elie

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    I beg to differ, General…The BEARS…

    Need I say more about futility and exasperation? The perennial wanabes…

    Back in the days of Walter Payton we had a decent running game and always those years, at least a defense that had self respect.. No more..\

    sigh

  134. 134.

    RK

    Hey, all you Cowboy haters! To quote my man Ice Cold from Fear of a Black Hat: FYM!(and SMD, too). Other than that, I LOVE this website.

    RK

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