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You are here: Home / All Tuckered out

All Tuckered out

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A funny thing happened to me while I was in San Francisco. A friend of mine and I were having lunch and the waiter said to my friend “you look exactly like that political guy on tv, what’s his name?” My friend looked quizzically at him and I said “Tucker Carlson”. The waiter said “Yes!” and proceeded to call my friend Tucker for the rest of the meal. In fact, my friend looks exactly like Tucker Carlson (even wears a bow-tie), so I was shocked that no one has ever told him that before; another person pointed out to me that people might not say that to him since the resemblance is so uncanny, people probably think he is Tucker Carlson and just say “Great job with Paul Begala yesterday!”, which of course makes no sense to him.

So this got me thinking that I should check in on the Carlsonington Post. It’s awful, much worse than I thought. James Wolcott has a great summary of it here and here. “Papa Don’t Treach” must surely be the greatest Jim Treacher-related post title of all time.

Update. While Conor Friedersdorf’s review of the CP goes too easy on it, I give him credit for this:

I’d be remiss if I didn’t note that this SE Cupp piece is the most inane, poseurish, wrongheaded bullshit published by a movement conservative writer so far in 2010 — scare quotes around environment? — but it’s well edited

I have to be honest, I find SE Cupp and Jim Treacher so annoying, I couldn’t read the rest of the site. It could be brilliant for all I know.

Reader Interactions

81Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    In fact, my friend looks exactly like Tucker Carlson (even wears a bow-tie)

    For the love of god, why?

  4. 4.

    DougJ

    I’m not that anti-Tucker Carlson. When he does those chats with AMC, she annoys me more than he does.

  5. 5.

    Zifnab

    @DougJ: That’s like saying you don’t have so much against Glenn Beck when he’s got Michelle Bachman on show.

    The greatest of damnations with the faintest of praise.

  6. 6.

    shecky

    I first saw that site when Conor Friedersdorf gave an overall thumbs up.

    I was less impressed. Conor screwed the pooch here. I’d love to see a right of center site that was worth reading. DC isn’t that site.

  7. 7.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    Sooooooo…

    Just out of curiosity, I click on the link and go to Vanity Fair, then click on the next link and go on to Session’s ‘op-ed’ at Tucker’s site…

    Indeed… it is an ‘old white guy standing in front of an American flag’…

    And the first two lines:

    ‘What a difference a year makes. In 2008, voters were sold a bag of goods by Nancy Pelosi and her Democrat puppets.’

    I feel I can stop reading right here. I know EXACTLY what will come next, for ALL ETERNITY…
    and whatever happens, not once, ever, will any of it be Republicans’ fault, no matter what, and not once, ever, will any of it be to the Dems credit… ever.

  8. 8.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    TC’s new online joint is awful. The quality of the writing is appalling and most of the pieces are so poorly argued they wouldn’t make it through a freshman expository writing class with anything more than a mercy grade of C.

  9. 9.

    YellowJournalism

    I was shocked that no one has ever told him that before; another person pointed out to me that people might not say that to him since the resemblance is so uncanny,

    Or maybe they just go by the old code of, “If you can’t say something nice…”

  10. 10.

    geg6

    Doug, you need to help your poor, poor friend out. He’s got to ditch the bow tie, for sure. Perhaps a new hair style, too. And then, please, explain to him what an odious little shit Tucker Carlson is. Showing him the YouTube clip of Jon Stewart taking Carlson and all his ilk (right, left, and center) down would be a mercy.

    I know I would be tempted to spit in his face if I saw him in public, so I think your friend might want to avoid that, if he can.

  11. 11.

    Morbo

    Like many things–well, OK, not that many–this reminds me of a plot point from One Piece. Has your friend considered having a fistfight with Carlson so that one of them will no longer have the same face as before? That would be the logical manner of settling this.

  13. 13.

    arguingwithsignposts

    This:

    Hi there. I’m S.E., and welcome to my diary at The Daily Caller. From time to time I’ll share lurid and intimate details from my life and reveal the inner workings of my less-than-fecund mind purely for your own amusement…and to indulge in a little self-satisfying solipsism.

    WTF? “fecund” “solipsism” “diary”?

    And it only goes downhill from there.

  18. 18.

    aimai

    Well, if you click all the way through you get back to conor freidsdorf’s take down of the S. E. Cupp piece which is pretty thorough. It also reminded me that the entire Cupp piece was beyond rank amateur and well into merely rank. I particularly loved the bit where she sets the scene and describes the kind of date she goes on, routinely apparently, with a liberal “poseur” who takes her to the “kind of place she probably hates…” If I weren’t a masochist, or maybe some kind of voyeur of right wing intellectual posing, I’d have stopped right there. But I read on and found myself asking “what kind of a fucking moron goes out on a date with someone they don’t like, to a place they feel uncomfortable, and isn’t even sure whether they do or don’t like the situation?” This trendy bar filled with beautiful people is the kind of place “I probably hate?” Why go there, then?
    aimai

  19. 19.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: Every now and then I feel bad because I depend on excerpts or completely ignore various right wing gasbags and just mock them without really knowing everything they say. But then I spend 20 seconds reading/watching and I feel vindicated.

    PS. S.E. is a she

  20. 20.

    arguingwithsignposts

    The comments on the Friedersdorf piece are worth reading. The DC needs to hire this guy:

    I had a frenetic but passionless love affair with SE Cupp for the better part of a year, when we were both interning at the Manhattan Institute. She had a habit of getting overly drunk at buttoned-down cocktail parties and was forever insisting I change my style to her liking— more oxfords, try top-siders, put an ascot on. I ended things after she insisted I start taking my Tom Collins with vodka instead of gin. There are some bridges a man can’t cross.
    __
    Dynamite in the sack, though.

    it would be an immediate upgrade.

  21. 21.

    asiangrrlMN

    @arguingwithsignposts: Ah. Stupid me for assuming a he where a she was certainly more apropos. Ann Coulter-lite? No thank you.

    @MattR: Yeah, me, too. Except, then when I go read the whole piece, I am always right. This time, however, I really should have checked for gender. Damn me and my preconceived notions.

    @aimai: I am glad you gave a summary because there is no way I could read that drivel. I bet the reason she went is because she wanted to seem hip–and so she could bitch about it later.

  22. 22.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @The Grand Panjandrum: Read that earlier today. I’ve seen it get out on the AP wire, so perhaps it will have legs. But publishing it on a federal holiday was kind of a head-scratcher.

  24. 24.

    GregB

    Apparently the frat pranks in Guantanimo killed three detainees almost simultaneously a few years ago.

    Then they had their throats cut out after their deaths to prevent any attempts to ascertain the real cause of death.

    Scott Brown is on board with this stuff.

    It’s OK though because the victims were swarthy looking brown folks and not handsome Christians with big trucks and snow machines.

    Jesus.

    -G

  27. 27.

    Shell

    It’s funny how ,basically, conservatives are unoriginal. So much of what they put out there is not a unique idea but a ‘reaction’ to something on the progressive side. ‘Conservepedia’ is a reaction to what they saw as liberal ‘Wikipedia.’ Fox’s defunct ‘1/2 hour newshour” (and maybe Redeye) was a reaction to ‘The Daily Show.’ And now we have Carlson’s ‘Daily Caller’ billed as a conservative reaction to the ‘Huffington Post.”

    Gee, guys, can’t you come up with an original thought of your own?

  28. 28.

    DougJ

    The comments on the Friedersdorf piece are worth reading.

    Yeah, they’re really good, aren’t they?

  30. 30.

    John S.

    This trendy bar filled with beautiful people is the kind of place “I probably hate?” Why go there, then?

    To have something to whine about the next day.

  31. 31.

    El Cid

    Democrats and progressives and anyone who doesn’t want crazy people running the country should get off their asses tomorrow and vote early and often for Coakley.

    Located here.

  32. 32.

    Darryl

    I followed politics daily for years. I have the misfortune of having read and/or listened to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Rich Lowry, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol, Glenn Beck, Neal Boortz, Andy McCarthy, Megan McArdle, Jonah Goldberg, Bill O’Reilly, Michael Savage, Ann Coulter, etc etc etc.

    Only recently have I heard of this SE Cupp woman. I just realized that at the moment, there is some vapid conservatard out there whom my ears have never suffered. I’m sure I’ll be exposed at some point, but right now, it’s nice that I haven’t had to hear absolutely all of the tard out there.

  33. 33.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Shell: No. SATSQ.

    @The Grand Panjandrum: I am steeling myself to read it. I know it’s going to be grim and horrifying, and I know I must read it.

    OT: Maybe Cole is actually going Galt! He probably couldn’t tell us he was doing it because then he would feel compelled to write a zillion posts in an hour.

  34. 34.

    Sentient Puddle

    @aimai: Yeah, the few paragraphs he excerpted were about as much as I needed to read to get a sense of how awful it was. But I’d add one other thing that really struck me about it: she goes on this inane contrarian-conservative rant about how pretentious other people are and how much they suck…right after saying how unpretentious her parents were and how they set an example.

    I also like the commenter who called her out for being a poseur on the British version of The Office. Spot on.

  35. 35.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    But–but–S.E. Cupp is a “rising star” in the conservative movement! She is one of their “best” and “brightest”! How could she be so bad?

    Doug, your friend needs to have his head examined if he doesn’t take vacations to where Tucker Carlson lives and get drunk and urinate in public, or dine and dash at a pricey restaurant, or something.

  36. 36.

    geg6

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I am steeling myself to read it. I know it’s going to be grim and horrifying, and I know I must read it.

    Buck up, it is and more, and yes, you must.

  37. 37.

    Darryl

    And now we have Carlson’s ‘Daily Caller’ billed as a conservative reaction to the ‘Huffington Post.”
    Gee, guys, can’t you come up with an original thought of your own?

    Meh, that goes both ways. HuffPo was originally conceived as a liberal version of Drudge.

  39. 39.

    Darryl

    Doug, your friend needs to have his head examined if he doesn’t take vacations to where Tucker Carlson lives and get drunk and urinate in public, or dine and dash at a pricey restaurant, or something.

    LOL. Treat the wait staff like shit, yell things like “Do you know who I AM? I’m Tucker Fucking Carlson! I could have you killed!” and then do a line of corn starch and run out the door. That would be great.

  40. 40.

    asiangrrlMN

    @geg6: I know. I will read it. I feel it’s the least I can do.

    @Sentient Puddle: Some of the commenters were defending her, though–at least the first few. They said she was trying to be funny. Um, yeah. Funny. Right. She’s not funny, and the writing is for shit.

  41. 41.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    Shorter S.E. Cupp: “you are a bad person because you are entitled. I, however, believe that I am [synonym for “entitled”] to kill every animal, destroy every tree, and burn every iota of energy on this world because. . . well, just because”.

  42. 42.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @asiangrrlMN:
    Regarding that article, while it’s a powerful story, the actual writing was tough sledding. Lots of back and forth across time and a lot of different actors involved.

    I thought it could have been organized better.

  43. 43.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    “Do you know who I AM? I’m Tucker Fucking Carlson! I could have you killed!”

    Sweeeet )

  45. 45.

    McGeorge Bundy

    SE Cupp’s name is appropriate when one considers her shallow intellect. I almost can’t believe people on the right trot out this idiot as an example of their bright shining future.

  46. 46.

    Warren Terra

    This effort may fail, but copying the Huffpo makes sense: their gossip apparently makes a lot of money (though the political stuff makes less). But where, after all this time, is the conservative TPM?

  47. 47.

    geg6

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I feel it’s the least I can do.

    Exactly. Me, too. I couldn’t stop it when it happened and I wish I could have. The least I can do is bear witness to what atrocities have happened in my name.

  48. 48.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Notorious P.A.T.:
    Is it just me or does every female conservative pundit feel the need to adopt this style of douchebaggy writing tone? With the exception of Peggy Noonan.

  53. 53.

    flukebucket

    It could be brilliant for all I know.

    I don’t know man. There is an article over there today entitled something like “Dems could use Republican ideas for job growth”

    Tax cuts of course.

  54. 54.

    debbie

    my friend looks exactly like Tucker Carlson (even wears a bow-tie)

    Carlson had a regular tie on when he appeared on This Week yesterday.

  56. 56.

    SGEW

    [cont. OT]

    Further context for the Scott Horton Harper’s Magazine must-read article:

    The original Seton Hall report here (pdf.).

    The Washington Independent summary here.

  57. 57.

    Svensker

    Did you know that S.E. is a self-confessed war-monger who believes in the sanctity of life?

    Apparently only pre-approved American lives, but still, it warms the cockles, dunnit?

    A self-absorbed, self-congratulatory, assholic, mean-spirited, small-minded, shitty little…. froth, froth, froth….

    My God. It is really hard to be a Quaker when confronted with someone like that.

  58. 58.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    If the day one of Tucker Carlson’s mavericky money pit The Daily Caller is any indication, the talent pool on the journalistic right has become a foot bath

    I gotta read Wolcott more often. LO freakin’ L.

  60. 60.

    Shell

    to kill every animal, destroy every tree, and burn every iota of energy on this world because. .

    That was Limbaugh’s schtick on his show a couple months back. And callers were ringing in with comments like, ‘I got every light in my house blazing and the hummer’s running in the driveway.”

    Yes, show us how stupid you are by wasting as much of your own money as you can.

  61. 61.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    Did you know that S.E. is a self-confessed war-monger who believes in the sanctity of life?

    She also loves the 2nd Amendment and the sanctity of life. How swell!

  62. 62.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    Yes, show us how stupid you are by wasting as much of your own money as you can.

    Well they probably have as much money as Limbaugh, right? I mean he wouldn’t demonstrate such naked contempt for his audience that he would get them to bankrupt themselves, would he?

  63. 63.

    maus

    @The Grand Panjandrum:

    TC’s new online joint is awful. The quality of the writing is appalling and most of the pieces are so poorly argued they wouldn’t make it through a freshman expository writing class with anything more than a mercy grade of C.

    Should blow RedState and FreeRepublic out of the water, then. The same could be said for most non-stolen HuffPo pieces as well. It’s sad that as much as I hate the conservative slant of Daily Beast, Huffington’s effectively destroyed her brand through the terrible writing and anti-science topics (let alone the abysmal comments section) to the point that it nearly makes the Daily Beast look cerebral in comparison.

  64. 64.

    BruceFromOhio

    James Wolcott:

    Funny is natural, it jumps out at you, it expresses individuality–a distinctive point of view. Facetiousness is more of a synthetic foam that fills an inert body of prose with the equivalent of an all-purpose grin.

    Off to see the Caller.

  65. 65.

    Darryl

    It’s sad that as much as I hate the conservative slant of Daily Beast, Huffington’s effectively destroyed her brand through the terrible writing and anti-science topics

    Many of the people at ScienceBlogs.com despise HuffPo, for the Deepak Chopra, anti-vaccination, etc stuff.

  66. 66.

    Warren Terra

    Does the Daily Beast have a conservative slant? I only go there following links to columns by Yglesias, Alterman, or Dana Goldstein – all libs, if a bit centrist. I don’t read anyone at Huffpo.

  67. 67.

    Folderol and Ephemera

    [more OT, re: Torturing Innocent People To Death]

    I know (I know!) that there’s a lot of Sully hate ’round these parts (and for some very good reasons!), but his post on this particular subject today is the reason I still have a tremendous amount of admiration for his writing.

    Link to Sully.

  68. 68.

    Chad N Freude

    @maus:

    Huffington’s effectively destroyed her brand through the terrible writing and anti-science topics

    The science is abysmal. Dr. Mark Hyman has cited Medical Hypotheses as a scientific reference.

    Traditionally, editorial review is the main alternative to peer review. A scientist editor or editorial team applies a sieve, with varying degrees of selectivity, to research submissions. Strictly, this process should not attempt to predict whether ideas and facts are “true,” because truth can be established only in retrospect. Instead, editorial selection works within constraints of subject matter on the basis of factors such as potential importance and interest, clarity and appropriateness of expression, and broad criteria of scientific plausibility. Even probably untrue papers may be judged worth publishing if they contain aspects (ideas, perspectives, data) that are potentially stimulating to the development of future science.

    And don’t forget the TMZ-style titillating scandal-mongering.

  70. 70.

    Davis X. Machina

    A half-assed attempt at being a half-assed publication is very meta, isn’t it?

    The result would be quarter-assed, if I remember how to multiply fractions…

  72. 72.

    Chuck Butcher

    A Daily Call black columnist:

    White Democrats are doing stuff for black people it’s okay to stereotype black them? Would that have been acceptable for Trent Lott, assuming he didn’t do anything for black people (whatever that is supposed to mean)? This is especially paramount since it was Reid, who in 2002, called then Senate leader Trent Lott’s controversial birthday comments to Strom Thurmond “repugnant.” Republicans have only asked for the same standard by which Lott was judged, to apply

    One of her ilk tried that shit at my place, I didn’t like it.

  73. 73.

    Davis X. Machina

    Does ‘dynamite in the sack’ have anything to do with ‘PETN in the crotch’?

    It’s so hard keeping up with things.

  74. 74.

    valdivia

    well you DougJ inspired me to go check the place out and just the front page gives you a sense of the insularity of their take on everything–according to them Brown is up by double digits. No mention of the other polls that have them closer. her phonebanks are deserted, etc etc. Mind you I am sure HuffPo reads the same today.

    I also went to their ‘world’ news page and they are so obsessed with Venezuela and making the Obama admin look bad they missed THE story out of Latin America the election of a right winger in Chile for the first time in 20 years. What does a right wing guy have to do to get some love on a right wing site? Maybe if he had yelled *Pinochet forever* when declaring victory they would have front-paged him eh?

    (and a little of new blog self promotion: for those interested I am working on a post explaining all of the Chilean election implications which should be up tonight).

  75. 75.

    Mnemosyne

    @Chuck Butcher:

    “Republicans have only asked for the same standard by which Lott was judged, to apply.”

    I’d be curious to know when Harry Reid said that we all would have been better off if integration had never happened since that would be, you know, the same standard by which Lott was judged.

  77. 77.

    Tim

    At a concert years ago, I was approached multiple times by guys who spent an awful lot of time telling me about what they did for a living, and seemed awfully overly friendly. I was with a very attractive redheaded girl, who was also a little mystified, and we were beginning to think these guys were chatting me up for a date or something. (Rather then try and pick her up which was the usual thing when we went somewhere, someone always trying to scoop my date)

    After about the fifth bizarre interruption of my concert experience (Not to mention my date with the redhead) one of the guys was like “So you could probably really use me at the station!” – which totally threw me and I was like “what station” – which set him back as he was like “Well W… – You’re John O…… aren’t you?” – none of these guys were happy to learn that I was not, in fact, the program director for that radio station.

    Turned out, not only was I a look alike for John O., he was at the concert (gave intros to the bands) but we were dressed exactly alike – same exact shirt and blue jeans.

    Which also explained many other concert experiences. Turns out, I wasn’t that popular a guy, just mistaken for someone else.

  79. 79.

    fraught

    I spent last week hating Tucker Carlson’s new plaything (the one that’s not flesh colored latex and 12″ long) and after easily getting my comments “hidden” I got bored with it. I’m not feeling Sully hatred too much lately because it’s an easily renewable resource and I can easily stoke it up to full flaming fury any time he gets overly stupid and schizoid. However my contempt for John Aravosis is an ongoing thing, burning with a steady white hot flame which never seems to change in intensity. I wish there was more Aravosis mocking and disdain on this site. He might be a smaller target than Sully or FDL since no one seems to go there anymore (10 comments seems to be a high average there) but mockery is fun to do and it might make him stop claiming to be a “major progressive blog.”

  80. 80.

    Mark S.

    Those “Ask Jim Treacher” posts are extremely painful. Take my word on it: Don’t read them. (Can anyone explain why it was necessary for Treacher to move to DC to contribute this wit?)

    What’s scary is that they are actually funnier than “Ask Matt Labash.”

    Is there an over/under on how long until this site goes bankrupt?

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