I always get a kick out Andy Borowitz:
BOSTON (The Borowitz Report) – Firing up voters on the eve of the special election to fill the late Edward M. Kennedy’s Senate seat, Republican candidate Scott Brown spoke at a campaign rally today, proclaiming, “With your help, our dream of depriving millions of health care is within reach.”
“Let’s send a message, Massachusetts!” Mr. Brown exhorted the crowd. “Let’s tell people across the country that if they want health coverage, they are shit out of luck!”
An aide to Mr. Brown said that internal polling reveals that the Republican’s anti-healthcare message may be catching on: “Right now, Scott is showing a double-digit lead among people who describe themselves as douchebags.”
Buffalopundit
Did Doug Hoffman win yet?
LanceThruster
Too humor.
xD
geg6
@Buffalopundit:
LOL! I’ve had that vibe since last Friday. Hope it turns out exactly the same.
Napoleon
This is a bad sign, on Greg Sargent’s blog he is reporting e-mails and memos flying around from the Coakley campaign and a senior Dem who calls her campaign “the worst debacle in American political history.” The polls are not even closed and this is happening, which tells you how certain they see this as a loss.
SpotWeld
If there just weren’t so many douchbags in Massachusettes
earlofscruggs
By gum, the GOP will WIN, Obama will GO DOWN, the House and Senate will be OURS in 2010, the WH will be OURS in 2012…
and we can FINALLY get back to governing this country like an 18th-century dukedom.
d0n camillo
I was worried for a second that Brown really was polling better than Coakley among douchebags, especially in a special election.
I just wish Intrade would let me fund my newly created account over the weekend so that I could by Coakley futures. Massachusetts is the blue equivalent of Kentucky in that they’ll vote for the Democrat no matter how shitty a campaigner. The Democrats could probably run the corpse of that preacher from Alabama complete with 2 wetsuits and a dildo and he’d probably be able to sqeak out a victory. Lucky for Coakley, he was a Republican.
John S.
The people will get what they deserve. Apparently 8 years of W was not enough.
TooManyJens
So, this is weird.
Remember that thread yesterday about the weird phone call about Martha Coakley that also asked about the Holocaust and malaria? Looks like somebody is using the same number to make phone calls pretending to come from Massachussetts Citizens for Life, claiming that they oppose Scott Brown.
My head hurts.
Bender
I’ll do you one better, Doug.
This one is — I shit you not — for real. Unbelievable. Regarding “The Ted Kennedy Seat:”
In a connected story, there are reports that a looming clown shoe shortage could push the price of size 48WW brogans up 50% by spring.
cyntax
Does this mean we can put reconcilliation back on the table?
blogasita
The sad part is I thought this was true until the last line!
Bender
@TooManyJens:
If AG Bell had known how the telephone would be used to try to fool the voting public, he likely would’ve ditched it and devoted his time to his first idea, the vagina flashlight.
satch
I just came here from Digby’s shop, and the glee from “progressive” commenters at what they think will be a Coakley loss is mind bending. These morons remind me of the old joke: A not-too-bright husband says to his wife: “If I ever find out you’re cheating on me, I’ll kill myself, and then I’ll kill YOU!”
arguingwithsignposts
So apparently, the Boston Globe mistakenly published a report that Coakley had won, and then retracted it on their web site. Not sure if anyone has screen caps, but damn, if that isn’t stupid.
ETA: and here’s a link from the Boston Phoenix.
Bender
@arguingwithsignposts:
Yeah, there are caps.
Boy, Big Media is so awesome! They’ll never go out of business!
chopper
man, am i glad peak wingnut already occurred and the idea of a teabagger winning teddy kennedy’s senate seat is just a delusion.
Bubblegum Tate
@Napoleon:
“The worst debacle in American political history” is hyperbolic, but not extremely so. Seldom has the game of politics been played so poorly.
JGabriel
Van Hollen, as quoted by Bender:
Sounds eminently sensible to the sane among us, Bender. Or do you forget that the economy crashed on Bush’s watch?
Because, you know, most of us don’t.
.
Bender
@JGabriel:
No one ever said being perceptive was your strong suit, JG.
Hint: Ted Kennedy, car, walked away from the scene…
Grumpy Code Monkey
Somebody explain to me again why we need 60 Democratic (or 59 Democratic and 1 narcissistic bastard) Senators to pass HCR. Why isn’t a simple majority good enough? Serious question.
Why is a Brown win the end of HCR?
Grumpy Code Monkey
@Bender: Yeah, that’s an unfortunate image in context…
TooManyJens
@Grumpy Code Monkey: Because the Republicans can and will filibuster forever, and will suffer no consequences for doing so.
Bubblegum Tate
@Grumpy Code Monkey:
Because of potential Republican filibusters and actual Democratic idiocy.
HyperIon
My local paper carries The Borowitz Report. I never think it’s funny. I saw him being the entertainment at some business conference on CSPAN a couple of weeks ago and the audience wasn’t laughing. But he was. It was so awkward I had to click away. So I’m puzzled by:
Why?
Sly
@Bubblegum Tate:
I always like how, no matter how self-serving and corrupt the GOP can get, liberals always make the effort to blame themselves whenever anything bad happens.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Great. At this rate, we’ll need a supermajority to pass a goddamned non-binding resolution by 2020.
Thoughtcrime
@SpotWeld:
“If there just weren’t so many douchbags in Massachusettes”
Or so many Brown Massholes.
Darryl
I almost never find Borowitz funny, but that was good.
Darryl
That site’s been mostly down for me all day.
Legalize
I’m buying stock in the word “Massholes.” Can’t miss.
Bubblegum Tate
@Sly:
The Democrats’ inability to get out of their own fucking way is one of the major reasons why I’m not a Democrat.
gil mann
@HyperIon:
It kinda figures that someone who uses the phrase “I get a kick out of____” would like Borowitz, doesn’t it?
Which makes me either ageist or a comedy snob. Probably the latter, since I haven’t watched The Tonight Show since Johnny left yet can’t bear the thought of Leno getting it back.