Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

He really is that stupid.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

It’s a doggy dog world.

Israel, don’t be dumb like we were in the US after 9/11!

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Why Do Ferrets Lick Themselves (A Rescue Story)

Why Do Ferrets Lick Themselves (A Rescue Story)

by | 69 Comments

This post is in: 

Because they can:

rescueferretsFrom left to right in photo: Bucky, Riot and Puck, grooming themselves obsessively.

When my husband and I first got married, we wanted a pet. He had had a dog when he was very little; I had never had pets of any kind, but I used to live with my aunt who had a fantastic pet rabbit, so naturally I wanted a bunny. We went to a pet expo in the area to look for a bunny, and my husband wandered over to the ferret table, run by the Greater Chicago Ferret Association.

Long story short, I lost the eventual bunny-ferret argument, and began a lifelong obsession with ferrets. Right now we have three: Puck, a great big white ball of lazy; Bucky, a goofy, affectionate dust mop of a critter; and Riot.

Riot’s a, well, riot. When we brought him home from the shelter he was seven months old, all feet and tail and whiskers, and he got into EVERYTHING. He jumped every gate we put up to confine him, knocked over anything left on any surface whatsoever, and learned his name just from hearing it shouted at him from across the room. He once made a four-foot leap from the dining room table to the top of the piano. Yesterday he pushed a cardboard box over to the gate that’s too high for him to climb on his own, and used the box as a step-stool to hoist his way to freedom. He’s ruined every sweater I have with his tiny little claws and has saved me thousands of dollars in therapy bills by making me laugh every day.

I got sucked into volunteering at the ferret shelter, and the rescue is the only one of its kind in the country in that it operates a stand-alone shelter out of a storefront facility and not out of someone’s house. The rescue takes in more than 250 ferrets every year and places them in adoptive or foster homes. They’re operated solely by contributions and some small grant monies, and this year will move into a brand-new facility with room to care for more of these funny, inquisitive little guys. People buy them from stores thinking they’re cage pets and they’re not, they’re very active, playful, interactive pets. Their vet care can also be pricey and so people give them up when they get sick which means the rescue bears the cost of caring for them.

It’s a great organization and I’m incredibly grateful to it for giving me three little monsters who chew my shoes and hide my car keys every day. You can see more shelter ferrets, as well as pics of our new facility, at www.gcfa.com .

I’m off to go ice my shoulder and my knees. I’ll throw up a shiny open thread in a little bit for the return of White Collar and other prime time shows.

Reader Interactions

69Comments

  2. 2.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Brave and patient people to have a Ferret pet. They are characters with sharp little teeth and were born to conduct mischief. Their piss don’t smell to good either. but I love them just the same, prolly cause they are such characters. Never had one for a pet, but have been around ones that friends had.

  3. 3.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Oh, and I want my nightly flame thread prog v Obot. You get us addicted and then pull the plug. Jonesing for some blood and cheetos Bj style.

  4. 4.

    stevie314159

    When I saw the title of this post–why do ferrets lick themselves, my first thought was that it was Obama’s fault.

  5. 5.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Those are truly cute. I don’t really think I’d ever want one, let alone three, but — they are truly cute.

  11. 11.

    beltane

    Ferrets scare me because they remind me too much of weasels, which are just about the meanest animal for their size that are native to these parts. I do think a de-skunked skunk would make an interesting pet; they get along with cats very well.

  13. 13.

    Rey

    @SiubhanDiane #6

    Ha! I’m already there. Pinot Noir and refreshing of Balloon Juice and maybe GOS…..

  15. 15.

    WereBear

    Ferrets are cute and adorable and interactive. They do sleep a lot (never had one myself, but friends are fans) which can help.

    If people knew they were not a cage animal, perhaps things would be better; a very good point to make.

    Though it’s kind of funny I’ve never had one; carnivorous mammals are my favorite kind of pet.

  16. 16.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Cain: Jane scares me a bit. Progressive Mommy Dearest. I like Marcy though, she can come by anytime.

  21. 21.

    srv

    They don’t taste good, from what I hear.

    Now, is Tim F. going to keep covering up the resveratrol conspiracy, or are the DFH’s responsible for that too?

  22. 22.

    Ailuridae

    The Greater Chicago Ferret Association is a pretty cool organization. I have no idea if ferrets have a higher rate of new owners giving up on them or not but purely anecdotally I’ve known or known of a lot of people who have basically found owning a ferret to be too much work. GCFA took them in all instances.

  23. 23.

    Matt

    My wife owned two ferrets when we moved in together (before we were married). It’s true, they do need a companion to keep each other busy. I hated those things with a passion. They were the stinkiest, dirtiest pets I’ve ever come across. She used to let them roam around her own apartment and they would piss and shit in every corner they could find and the place would REEK. Absolutely disgusting. Call me an evil asshole, but the day the one was put to sleep was a very happy day for me because I knew she would be giving away the other. I don’t know how anyone cares for those filthy things.

  24. 24.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @scudbucket: No. But she likely deserves to lose. Her camp has been broadcasting all day it’s the worlds fault, not theirs. Though I did read where the Globe called the race for Coakley 8 hours before the polls closed. No doubt ACORN related, or those covert Obamabot operatives we been hearing about.

  26. 26.

    Elizabelle

    I’m at a different coffee shop, soaking up the free internet, and somehow the title of this blogpost — and its staying up on the screen too long as I reload your page — is making me feel like a crazy cat lady out for a latte.

    Just sayin.

    Ahem, ferrets are pets too. And rescuing animals is good.

    But couldn’t these guys go under a brown wrapper?

  28. 28.

    Ailuridae

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Though I did read where the Globe called the race for Coakley 8 hours before the polls closed. No doubt ACORN related, or those covert Obamabot operatives we been hearing about

    Am I missing snark here?

  29. 29.

    Darryl

    Well, along those lines….. what’s the latest on Coakley? The few things I’ve read indicate she lost. Any good speculation on this?

    I can’t find anything. Polls close at 8. No exit polls were done. Anybody got any info? I’m assuming I’ll start hearing things at CNN or NYT at 8.

  30. 30.

    ceece

    Not to cut in on the ferret parade, but I have a different pet question.

    My beloved kitty died unexpectedly about 6 weeks ago. I’m still really sad about it, and I miss her a ton, but I know that I will likely get another cat sometime in the future. I’m afraid I will be disappointed in the next cat somehow, since it can’t possibly be the same (or as good?) as my old one.

    How will I know when it’s time to get another kitty? I still find myself crying over online photos of adoptable cats, but being ok with actual live cats.

    Of course it will be a rescue, etc.

  34. 34.

    Tattoosydney

    I’m still trying to recover from the “big workman-like fist” thread. What a heap of shit that article was.

    Just near our language school there is a pet shop that has rabbits in the window and I am having serious cravings for a bunny as a pet (which I would give into when I get home except I am sure my dog would just think the rabbit was lunch). Twitchy bunny noses get me every time.

  35. 35.

    mr. whipple

    ceese:

    I’m afraid I will be disappointed in the next cat somehow, since it can’t possibly be the same (or as good?) as my old one. How will I know when it’s time to get another kitty?

    So sorry. Been through that myself, and oddly, just today came across a few pics of my dear, departed cat who died 6 years ago. I shed a few tears, but the hurt isn’t there. He was wonderful. It takes a long time.

    I think you’ll just know, and it’ll probably be sooner than you think. We now have 5 cats, and none are like him, but none are like the others, either. They are all cool in their own way, each unique. There are so many looking for homes, so when you can open your heart, do so and you won’t be disappointed.

  40. 40.

    Madeline

    My best friend had a ferret – she just loved that little guy. My friend’s sister’s husband, who never liked the ferret, was goofing around and accidentally stepped on him, injuring him so badly that the poor little thing died. That caused some family angst for them, that’s for sure.

  41. 41.

    merrinc

    A former acquaintance had some ferrets. She also had a daughter who was of the age and inclination to play with Barbies but it seemed the child was always misplacing them. Or so they thought until when one day cleaning under her bed, they found the ferrets sleeping among a sizeable stash of small, plastic, humanoid figures with teeth marks on them.

  42. 42.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    How long til we’re all emotionally destroyed by a World’s Cutest Ferret contest??

  43. 43.

    Demo Woman

    @ceece: I think that Jeffrey is right. All animals are different with their own unique personality. You will not find another cat as good
    but you will find a cat that you love as much.

  45. 45.

    General Winfield Stuck

    <blockquote>Attorney Mark Elias said the campaign received reports of ballots being given to voters pre-marked for Coakley’s opponent Republican Scott Brown.

    “We have received reports of five ballots — spanning three jurisdictions,” Elias said.

    I thought the dem machine in Mass would never let something like this happen., if it did.

  46. 46.

    Royce

    @Matt:

    “They were the stinkiest, dirtiest pets I’ve ever come across.”

    Dude, the pics at the top are of the ferrets cleaning themselves. They do that, like cats. Wetting their paws, combing their faces.

    You sound kind of limited in your pet knowledge. Rude too, posting all that angry nonsense on a rescue story about ferrets.

  47. 47.

    jeffreyw

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I do have a ferret story, or a mongoose story, not really sure which it was. One of the GIs came up with one when we were in the Nam, it stayed with us for several days before some big footed clod stepped on it. The thing was comical, and fast. I swear it could climb your pant leg, do three orbits of your head and climb back down before you could say what the fuck. I tried to draw a picture of one to show the kids who hung around, hoping they could find another. Alas, they came back with a wee kitty instead, and insisted that I had drawn a kitty when I protested. We made do with the kitty for a while, but it disappeared after a few days.

  48. 48.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Oh gawd, the BB letter of death, and it’s my fault for linking the blockquotes. Forgive me FSM, I know not what I do. But you already knew that.

  49. 49.

    Mnemosyne

    @ceece:

    I’m afraid I will be disappointed in the next cat somehow, since it can’t possibly be the same (or as good?) as my old one.

    We were a little worried about that, so we steered away from a very sweet tortoiseshell kitty after Natasha died because they just looked too similar and we knew we would be calling her the wrong name and expecting her to act just like Tashi did. (Plus we were really there to see Keaton, who was the one who had reached out through the bars of his cage to grab me.)

    It’s a cliche to say that you’ll know when it’s time but, really, you’ll know. I still get teary about Tashi and Boris and they’ve been gone for 4 years and 3 years, so you don’t have to wait until you stop missing your kitty before you get a new one.

  50. 50.

    D-Chance.

    Ferrets are hilarious creatures, but you have to have patience if you take ownership of one.

    Give up on the idea of an 8-hour night of sleep. “Slinky” used to turn over his food bowl at night and nose it all around the room like an excited toddler with a new push toy, waking everyone up. Then, he’d chew on his dry food in the dark… loudly. Everyone would end up burying their ears in their pillows.

    He and the chihuahua would also play “tag” with each other. Slinky couldn’t jump onto the furniture, but would chase the dog up every chair and sofa in the room as it dashed all about the place.

    Also, ferrets don’t realize how sharp their teeth are. Dogs will not clamp down when they’re play fighting with their human counterparts. Ferrets will, and Slinky seemed to take great pleasure in hearing his human chew toy scream out in pain from a good nip of the flesh.

  51. 51.

    PurpleGirl

    Friends had 3 ferrets: one was an over-sized albino who was the last of the litter mates to be bought and the other two were sable-colored sisters. The albino was kept in a old fish tank because she wasn’t very socialized having spent most of her life alone. She would nip at people picking her up. The sable sisters were kept in a wood and wire hutch with a hammock/swing for them to sleep in. They were fun watch and play with. All the ferrets were box trained and we kept cedar chips in their boxes to cut the smell. (It works quite well.) All three ferrets got free running around time each day. (The household also had a bunch of dogs, a cat and two parrots so the ferrets needed their own places.)

  53. 53.

    merrinc

    @ceece:

    I agree with beltane – the right kitteh will find you when the time is right.

    A few months after our sweet Emma died, a little girl from the neighborhood knocked on our door. She was holding a gray and white kitten whom she insisted was in constant danger of being eaten by her dog, hence her dad ordered her to get rid of it. Of course, we took her (kitten, not neighbor spawn) in. She has so many of the same idiosyncrasies and mannerisms of Emma that my son and I occasionally wonder if the Em cat managed to find her way back to us in a younger body.

  54. 54.

    ihop

    forgive me, but the two on the left remind me of rosie greer and ray milland in that crappy movie.

  55. 55.

    WereBear

    @ceece: Ah, I know what you mean.

    But there’s a kitty out there who is just as wonderful, but in a different way.

    And when is it time? Any time you find is right. It might be because you locked eyes with someone in a cage, and discover you can’t let this go on. Or a friend finds a kitten and can’t keep them. Or you find yourself getting on Petfinder “just to look.”

    And that’s perfectly all right. See, if you loved your cat (and of course you did!) there’s no better tribute to your beloved pet than to rescue someone else who needs that big heart of yours.

    Right?

  56. 56.

    Keith G

    @ceece: I purposely took a year off of Kitties after my Tapestry passed. She was my girl for 18 years and had seen me through critical illness and a few boyfriends. Nothing could replace this wise and loving kitty.

    One day walking through Petsmart to get birdseed, I decided not to avoid the cat adoption center. Over the weeks, I slowly worked my way into the center.

    The two young sisters I adopted did not replace Tappy. They have expanded my world and given me a whole lot of love. I cannot picture my life these days without these two beautiful and very different girls.

  59. 59.

    gil mann

    I have two nieces whose names escape me at the moment, but I can tell from the first sentence which blogger sent that in.

    Is there a correct amount of blog-reading one can aspire to? I went right from “none” to “waaayyyy too goddamn much,” apparently.

  60. 60.

    WaterGirl

    @ceece: I lost my sweet boy 5 weeks ago and I have been thinking the exact same things. I am still crying a lot, so I know I am not ready yet, but I do wonder how I’ll know when it’s time. Worse yet, what if it’s never time?

    I see these kitty pictures that are posted here and my heart melts. Then someone talks about how their kitty doesn’t like the dog, or doesn’t like the other cat, or loudly demands to be fed, or whatever, and I think “I don’t want a cat that does that.”

    Oh, and I don’t want a kitten because you can’t tell the personality or what it will look like but I don’t want a grown cat because what if the previous owners didn’t know what not to do and I would end up with another kitty with kidney failure? And what if I get another kitty and it’s not social or I don’t like it? I can’t imagine keeping a cat for 20 years if I didn’t like it. Could I be one of those awful people who gets a pet and gives it away?

    Mnemosyne was kind enough to suggest a kitten that is over 4 months old (so you can get a sense of personality), which is helpful to know, so I will pass that on to you.

    I want a kitty that greets me at the door and sleeps with me at night and hangs with the dogs and wants to cuddle, just like my sweet boy used to do.

    I was never a cat person, but I fell for my boy like a ton of bricks, and I had said for years that if something happened to Quiver I would definitely get another cat because now I couldn’t imagine not having a cat. But I never really thought anything would happen to him, and he died so young. (He was only nine.)

    So, you see, you are adjusting so much better than I am! It seems to me that maybe you are closer to ready than you might think. All the best to you.

  61. 61.

    bey

    @merrinc: I had a friend with a sable female named Socie. She was an absolute riot and one of her favorite games was to hide inside a moonboot and hop it across the room.

    My son Jon was 5, and had a long running argument with her owner over his favorite stuffed bear. He had left it at her house and couldn’t find him. My friend searched all over and swore he wasn’t there. This conversation was re-enacted at least 3 times a week for months and my friend was fast running out of patience with Jon.

    We got a call one afternoon from Vic. She’d been swapping out summer/winter clothes in her girls’ dresser and was having trouble closing one of the drawers. She pulled it out and found Socie’s stash of junk. Baby bottles, dollies, Jon’s bear, and the other moonboot. How the hell she dragged that stuff in between the drawer and the back of the dresser we never figured out.

    Ferrets are perma-kittens and some of the funniest animals I’ve ever known. But those pink possum noses give me the willies, so I can’t have one.

  62. 62.

    Karen in GA

    I had ferrets from 1994 until last April. When my last one got sick and I knew his days were numbered, I thought, “What will I do when he’s gone? Am I gonna have to grow up?”

    It turned out that, yeah, sort of. My life’s not the same without them.

    I’ve got 15 years’ worth of funny stories about them. There was the one who only bit people who deserved it (she was a better judge of character than I was); the one who only played with Christmas-themed cat toys (I’m serious); the one who knew how to count; the psycho that alienated all of the others, until all but one of the others had aged and passed away — then he bonded with and absolutely mothered the last one. And that doesn’t even begin to cover it.

    Aw, hell. Now I has a sad.

    Ceece, I’m sorry about your kitty. And yes, the right one will find you.

  63. 63.

    bey

    @WaterGirl: I’m really sorry to hear of your loss and Ceece’s loss. I hope you find new fuzzies to love.

    I lost 2 cats to kidney failure at 20 and 19 respectively. It was hard.

    I wouldn’t be afraid to find the “wrong” cat. If you do end up adopting one who would be better off in a different environment – which is unlikely – finding him/her a more suitable home is the action of, not a good pet owner, but a *great* pet owner. It’s about as far from terrible as you can get.

    I have 5 cats and a dog these days, which puts me 2 cats over my comfort level, but whatta ya gonna do? Not all of them get along – Amelia is cranky and her littermate Gabriel has an Eddie Haskel streak that occasionally manifests. Xerxes has boundaries and woe betide the person who doesn’t respect them. Ariadne is a pris, and Sterling is as dumb as a sack of wet mice. Tina the dog is buddies with Sterling and Ariadne, plays tag with Xerxes (but only in the yard), avoids Gabe and doesn’t get along with Amelia. Even with these disparate personalities, we have a pretty even keel at home. Everyone has their favorite spots and there’s a more or less constant migration of animals on or near me at all times as they jockey for the prime spots.

    So don’t be afraid. It will work out. And anyway, bad cats make the best stories.

  64. 64.

    Something Fabulous

    @ceece: @WaterGirl: I am sorry for your losses; it is always hard to begin to feel for what is “right” again, isn’t it? You are in my wheelhouse for advice, so I am going to natter on for a minute here, sorry for the length…

    I am on the board at an animal rescue, and from my time there, I totally recommend anyone in your situation to just casually look into volunteering. Nothing too intense, start slow, tell the people who run it about your loss and that you are not necessarily in a place to get too involved again yet, so no one gives you the hard sell, either about adopting or a hard-core commitment of time. Try a few places if the vibes at the first one(s) don’t seem right. But I can testify I have seen every variation of story from love at first sight and almost immediate adoption to years of regular volunteering to just on and off drifting in occasionally to lend a hand, but deciding against adopting for themselves. Ours is a no-kill place, which made it easier, for me, to not feel so stressed when I started volunteering there. As far as WaterGirl’s concerns, you can learn about specific animals who meet your fancy over time, without having to make any big decisions right away. And for WG and ceece, if you find you are liking the organization, most of these places also often need foster families, which can be a great short-term thing to help with overcrowding or special-needs animals for a brief time, and to suss out your own ‘readiness’ as well.

    Also! It’s great, when available, to go to a multi-species facility instead of one strictly for cats: sometimes it turns out what you need now is a puppy, or bunny (or ferret!) to fill that space, and that’s a wonderful realization of its own. As John and Lily (or me and my two cats–I thought I wanted a dog), can attest.
    Let me know if I can be of help!

  65. 65.

    asiangrrlMN

    Cute story. Ferrets are cute. I met two in real life. Loved them.

    @ceece: My condolences on your loss. I will echo the others in saying that you will know when it’s time. In fact, a kitty may very well find his/her way to you under the loving paw of your kitty who just went to the other side.

  67. 67.

    Paul in KY

    Watergirl, maybe it’s a special gift, but I can generally tell alot about a kitten just by playing with it and/or observing how it interacts with any siblings/mother.

    Hope you & ceece open your heart to another (or more) kitteh(s).

Comments are closed.