Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

He really is that stupid.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / A word from our fearless leader

Reader Interactions

211Comments

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    Yikes. Glad to hear that he made it through surgery OK, but sounds like it was No Fun At All.

    -dms

  3. 3.

    Jay in Oregon

    I give him three days before Tunch eats him.

    Three days, because they like to play with their food…

  6. 6.

    mr. whipple

    John’s surgery was rough—when they got in, they discovered things were a lot worse than they thought.

    Isn’t this what they say when they tear apart your transmission, just to run up the bill?

    But glad to hear it went well :)

  7. 7.

    Martin

    Found some residual Republican nuggets of douchbaggery still in there, eh? Oh well, nobody ever said that it was a fast or easy conversion.

    Glad to hear he came through okay, though. No driving for 6 weeks is gonna suuuuuuuuck.

  8. 8.

    JenJen

    Sorry to hear that. Be sure to remind him that he’d be dead by now in Canada, or something.

    Hope he was at least cheered up by the news of Teabugging. :-)

  10. 10.

    moe99

    I am sorry to hear he was worse than thought. But this is a good time of the year to be “stove up” (as they say in KY). I hope he has friends who can walk Lily for a while.

    All the best, John. All the best.

  14. 14.

    scav

    ouch ouch ouch ouch. But that whole punching in the neck thing would be a good form of rehab/PT.

  15. 15.

    demkat620

    I hope they gave him the good stuff.

    Man, if you thought he was cranky before…

    And I am only cleaning this comment up because I know Mom’s reading it. Hi Mrs. Cole!

  18. 18.

    Quaker in a Basement

    I had heard that brittle bones are a common problem for the elderly.

    Get better soon, sir.

  19. 19.

    Midnight Marauder

    @Joe Beese:

    We wish him a speedy recovery. I’m sure he’ll be back punching hippies in no time.

    Don’t wish for too speedy a recovery, Joe Beese. I’m sure you will be at the front of the line when the hippie bashing continues in Hippie Punching II: Electric Boogaloo Cole’s Revenge.

  21. 21.

    Citizen_X

    Ouch. What a lot of Suck.

    Just don’t let the cat drive, John, no matter how much he yowls.

  22. 22.

    abo gato

    OUCH! poor baby…..hope he has plenty of good drugs and someone who can feed him for a few days. Is his mom here for that?

  23. 23.

    Aimai

    Yikes. Maybe putting his own shoulder back in with the doorknob wasn’t as easy as John made it sound. Hope his mother can stay to help because if no one feeds tunch…

    Aimai

  25. 25.

    Svensker

    Jeez, Cole.

    Get well soon.

    (Can you imagine how cranky he’s going to be by week 5 of no driving?)

  26. 26.

    Violet

    Glad he came through it okay, but that stinks that it was worse than expected. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

    He can’t drive or lift anything for six weeks.

    Oh no! How’s he going to change the shower curtain?

  27. 27.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    A word from our fearless leader

    Let me guess; It rhymes with duck.

    Man, please pass along my best wishes. It is REALLY hard to remember not to lift things. Make that impossible until a bolt of agony reminds you not to.

    Perhaps a one-armed straight jacket is in order.

  28. 28.

    Anne Laurie

    Best wishes for your speedy recovery, Mr. Cole. Take ALL the nice drugs, you don’t need a functional IQ right now, any more than a Republican Congresscritter does.

  30. 30.

    AnneS

    Holy crap! Glad things are OK despite the tough surgery. Best wishes to John for a speedy recovery.

  34. 34.

    Mumphrey

    Well, I guess at least he can type. I hope he stays away from the hillbilly heroin, though; that stuff will have him sneaking off to the Dominican Republic with somebody else’s viagra inn no time. Scary stuff.

    Godspeed.

  39. 39.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    Fearless leader? Tunch passed along this message? I don’t believe it this is from Tunch. He would have said something along the lines of, “The wussy Cole is now whining about 3 hours of surgery. Just wait til he gets home. I’ll fix his clumsy ass.”

  40. 40.

    Nora Carrington

    Sending along West Coast wishes for a speedy and not too painful recovery. We’ll try not to trash the place :-)

    Nora

  41. 41.

    Mike in NC

    He can’t drive or lift anything for six weeks.

    Well I won’t ask about playing the piano, then.

  42. 42.

    mandarama

    Dang, that sounds awful. Get well soon, Cole. We’ll do our best to entertain you in your long, miserable rapid! convalescence.

  43. 43.

    asiangrrlMN

    Oh, shit, and good. Glad you made it through, Cole, but please please please follow the doctors’ advice this time around, ok? OK!

    P.S. Hope your recovery goes smoothly.

  44. 44.

    Mike E

    He’ll be a metal-detector’s nightmare. Full Body Scans will be in his future, for sure. Also.

  45. 45.

    Genine

    Ouch!

    Get well soon, John! I’m glad they found everything and fixed it.

    No more trying to fix your own shoulder!

    Lots of good vibes to you.

  47. 47.

    Chat Noir (iPhone)

    Yikes! Sorry to hear the news. My kitties are sending positive cat vibes to John. It really does help.

  48. 48.

    mr. whipple

    No driving? You can always take the bus, just watch out for Obama throwing you underneath it.

  49. 49.

    R-Jud

    He can’t lift anything heavy, or he can’t lift anything at all? If the latter is the case, I think we should all pitch in and get him one of these. Especially if they make ’em in Steelers colors.

    No man should be without beer.

  52. 52.

    Keith G

    Oooouch. I bet John will become really good a predicting oncoming low pressure systems as well as setting off metal detectors.

    And poor Lily wondering what’s wrong with her guy.

    My heart goes out.

  53. 53.

    Comrade Mary

    Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. That sucks in every way, John. Rest up!

    But now that they’ve rebuilt you, will your first post be closer to this or this ?

  56. 56.

    Ash Can

    Hey, wait a minute. Wasn’t John talking about moving to a new place soon?? Now how in the sweet holy hellacious fuckety-fuck is THAT gonna happen?

    (Whoops. Sorry, Mrs. Cole.)

    Ugh. Poor John. And poor John’s friends and family.

  57. 57.

    Ranger 3

    John can’t save you now Lily… and Tunch never really sleeps, he just pretends to.

    The shit is going down.

  58. 58.

    gnomedad

    Wow, considering the assessment before the surgery, that sounds like suck squared. Glad that part’s over with, though. Get well, sir.

  60. 60.

    gnomedad

    @JGabriel:
    Cranky Cole + voice recognition = whole new level of potty-mouth. Once he’s trained the software with some key terminology, anyway.

  62. 62.

    Joe Lentz

    Take care of yourself John. Don’t take shortcuts on recovery instructions, you only want to do this once! Best wishes…

  63. 63.

    BGK

    Sorry to be OT, but I’m at my monthly county Dem party meeting. Some of the folk here are internet-impaired (i.e. predate the republic). I’d kind of like to fill them in on the call-your-rep call-your-Senator pushes for HCR. Is there a good site which summarizes the effort to date, and where to go from here? Much obliged.

  64. 64.

    slag

    Damn. Get better soon!

    And whenever you want to feel better, just reflect on how much your shoulder injury has and will continue to boost our economy. From the cost of all the doctors and medical equipment to all the drugs and medical devices you’ll be using. Not to mention if you end up paying pet-sitters and housecleaners and whatnot. This injury of yours is a veritable green shoot waiting to bloom.

    Heck. Maybe we all should fall down and destroy our shoulders in a million places and reap the market rewards in the process. God bless America!

  65. 65.

    Something Fabulous

    Ouch. It is making my eyes smart just to read that. So sorry it’s going to be a while, but so glad the surgery went (knock laptop!) well. Here’s hoping to a smooth and speedy convalescence!

  66. 66.

    JGabriel

    gnomedad:

    Cranky Cole + voice recognition = whole new level of potty-mouth. Once he’s trained the software with some key terminology, anyway.

    Heh, It did not escape me that the entertainment possibilities here are nearly endless.

    That said, with John’s shoulder that screwed up, Dragon is the way to go, and the suggestion was made in earnest.

    .

  67. 67.

    CaseyL

    I don’t know whether to worry about John because now he can’t pack up to move to his new place, or to compliment him on strategic timing because now someone else will have to pack up and move it all and unpack it and move it from room to room while Cole directs things (crankily) from the Comfy Chair, flanked by his furry Loyal Minions.

  68. 68.

    2liberal

    Get better soon, JC. Watch out for that cat. The dog is your friend.

    What does John do for a day job?

  69. 69.

    Wannabe Speechwriter

    You know what made it worse:

    gay marriage

    Why? Because we blame that for everything…

  71. 71.

    gogol's wife

    Best wishes for a good recovery. Only loving animals can help in this situation, and I’m sure they will.

  72. 72.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    Surgery, my ass. JC is not blogging because he is really James O’Keefe! Let me get out the chalkboard so I can show you the connections and how we came to be an oligarhy! (Cue tears)

    Get well soon, John.

  75. 75.

    Bruuuuce

    Ow. Glad it’s done; sorry it was so severe. Here’s to a complete recovery and looking forward to the extra-special snark during these weeks :-)

  76. 76.

    Cathie from Canada

    Hmm, this is not particularly good news.
    I learned more about orthopaedics than I ever wanted to know following my own experience with a badly broken leg.
    Three hours of surgery means, I think, that they were trying to reassemble the bones in the shoulder without damaging any nerves or muscles in the process.
    They may have succeeded, they may not. Delaying the surgery so many days will not have helped, but there’s nothing that can be done about that now. Hopefully the bones can still heal, but John will have to go through a lengthy, boring recovery.
    Now, everybody has the tendency to say, oh just play through the pain, be tough, don’t take the pain meds, man up. And we all want our lives to get back to normal as fast as possible.
    With an ordinary sports injury, like a sprained muscle, this type of attitude might be admirable.
    But when recovering from a shattered bone, pushing himself too hard too fast would be a bad decision. The words he does NOT want to hear are “non-union” meaning the bones have failed to connect and thus failed to heal. Too much vibration, moving the shoulder the wrong way, an additional injury caused by lifting something — all can affect the fragile healing bone in the early weeks.
    There are two things he can do that will help him heal faster:
    1. Get lots and lots of rest. This is extremely boring and he will just have to deal with the boredom as best he can.
    2. Take the pain meds on schedule, so that he can keep ahead of the pain. The body heals faster when pain is controlled.

  77. 77.

    Xenos

    Do they have cybernetic shoulder blades? Just thinking about the process or reconstructing a scapula is painful.

    Hoping for a speedy recovery!

  78. 78.

    JGabriel

    gogol’s wife:

    Only loving animals can help in this situation …

    While it’s true that loving animals are nice, it seems like a cleaning person and/or friends who come over and help out with food and errands would be quite useful too.

    .

  79. 79.

    Montysano

    Hi, Mrs. Cole. Glad your son came through it well. Sorry about Ash Can’s filthy goddamned mouth.

  81. 81.

    eastriver

    Two words: Dragon Dictation.

    And you should put up a wish list of DVDs you’d like. And if you don’t have a Blu Ray player, you might want to take donations for one. (Blu Ray kicks butt on the HD you get from your cable.)

  82. 82.

    ellaesther

    Holy crap!

    Oh poor John. I’m joined here by many others, and I’m sure there’s no really unique way to say this, but please give him ellaesther’s best.

    At least when he’s better, it will be spring, and it will be a good time to be coming out of a long recovery. Poor man.

    But I do blame Obama. ‘Cause, of course.

  88. 88.

    Elie

    @Cathie from Canada:

    Regards John for a speedy recovery…

    I agree with Cathie’s recommendations but add a couple of things:

    1. Eat plenty of protein. People think bone is calcium, and it is, but it is also heavily protein so healing requires high protein and watch the carbs (don’t wanna end up with a big weight problem during recovery that will slow down rehab and feeling energetic again.

    2. Get some Aloe Vera gel for a gentle, very effective laxative which, trust me, you will need if you are on pain meds. Those medicines are very necessary for healing as well (keeps those muscles relaxed and good blood flow), but man oh man, you can feel like you are giving birth in a couple of days if you don’t drink plenty of water, take some stool softeners and that really gentle and effective Aloe Vera gel laxative.

    3. Laugh as much as you can — read good stuff and stay positive.

    Get well soon!

  90. 90.

    El Cid

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Heh. Is drink liquor you solution to everything?

    Well, I’m not saying it works, but I do apply it in all cases on the off chance it might work.

  91. 91.

    EFroh

    Maybe we should all pitch in to get Lily some little doggie booties so he will never be tempted to pick her up again when it’s cold and icy out?

    Get well soon, Mr. Cole!

  92. 92.

    gypsy howell

    Just want to add my best wishes for your recovery, John. May the Tunch be with you.

    xoox

    — gypsy

  93. 93.

    Elie

    Oh (sorry that I am late to the info, but I think you had shoulder surgery?)

    I had a Copeland procedure last year (partial shoulder replacement). If you don’t already have a recliner, you may want to make a boulster out of sponge rubber that you can get at a fabric store, wrapped around a couple of pillows to make a wedge. If what you experience is similar to what I did, laying down is out of the question for a while, but that recumbent position works quite well..

    Again, best to you

  94. 94.

    AkaDad

    You think John’s cranky now, just wait until he’s stuck at home all day reading blogs.

    It’s going to be epic.

  96. 96.

    asiangrrlMN

    @El Cid: Yes. I can see why you would want to hedge your bets. I mean, it would be awful if the one time you didn’t drink was the one time it would have actually helped! Good thinking.

  100. 100.

    bey

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Yes, we can rebuild him.

    But what’s he gonna do with a bionic scapula? Armpit farts at Mach 1? Fun at parties, sure, but I don’t think there’s any glory in it.

    Glad to hear the surgery is over and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  101. 101.

    Elie

    @freelancer:

    Not good — I agree…

    Respiratory arrest and surgical recovery don’t usually work well together. I tell you John, stay away from the ETOH. The pills they will give you are more that enough whoppee for a while…

  104. 104.

    Leelee for Obama

    Glad you are done with the surgery, John. Sorry it took so long, but hopefully the extra work will help you heal better? Follow Elie’s advice with the aloe vera, Son, that little paragraph may just save your sanity. I speak from bitter knowledge with my Mom, and no one ever told us that-years of many bad episodes that could have been avoided.

    Pay no attention to the news, or anything else but healing and laughing and loving your Mom and your pet Kids. The shit will keep on hitting the fan, and in the end, we will have an outcome, whether you’re involved and pissed or not. Save your inner strength for your own self, OK?

    Be well, soon

  106. 106.

    KDP

    @tbogg: And Lily. Booties are needed. And, of course, someone who will be able to put the booties onto Lily.

    Best wishes for a problem-free recovery. Unfortunate that it appears it will not be speedy.

  107. 107.

    Elie

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Naw — he will need the pain killers and should take them religiously the first couple of days. They really do help recovery by allowing relaxation and good blood flow (people tense up when they are in pain)

  110. 110.

    asiangrrlMN

    @MattR: There’s an idea. Of course, John won’t be walking Lily any time soon, but still. We all know how he thinks he’s Superman. Better to get the booties to him sooner rather than later.

  111. 111.

    HRA

    I am glad this phase is over, John. Now I advise you to not rush your recovery stage. Time in healing is your friend.
    Best wishes
    HRA (Hope)

  113. 113.

    EFroh

    @MattR: I was going to just buy some, but I am a mere cat-owner, so I don’t know beans about doggie booties. I know she’s a pretty small dog (although, perhaps it’s just because Tunch is so big. :)), so I guess we need the smallest size? Or is it a one-size-fits-all sort of deal?

  114. 114.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: More importantly, Lily needs booties before another member of the Cole family slips while carrying her. Do you think if I address the package to “John Cole, West Virginia” it will get there? :)

    (sending email with the offer now)

  116. 116.

    Jade Jordan

    You are truly an awesome honest down to earth person. Get well soon. This surgery sounds almost as hard as your Republicanectomy.

  117. 117.

    Mary G

    So sorry to hear of the complications. Your orthopod can give you a card to show the TSA when you set off the metal detectors.

    Thoughts and prayers for your recovery. I agree with everyone who’s recommended keeping on the pain pills before it starts to really hurt.

  119. 119.

    asiangrrlMN

    @MattR: Don’t forget to put ‘Balloon Juice’ in the address somewhere. I am sure that will make the parcel get to the proper address.

    @EFroh: I am a cat person, too, so I will leave the actual buying/sending of the dog booties to someone more knowledgeable.

  120. 120.

    metalgirl

    No hurry in getting back to reality with Obama and the Dems in charge. Looks like we’re headed for an epic fail (would like to be wrong on this). Since you said you liked to be alone when you aren’t in the pink, enjoy your Mom-time and allow others to help, even if you don’t really need it. They need it just as much, having to watch you suffer while feeling helpless. It’s just the deal.

    We’re all looking forward to the CafePress items too :) Imagine a hospital gown with Tunch’s “Obey” on it — hilarious (not that we will be requiring hospital gowns in quanity)! XOXO

  121. 121.

    WaterGirl

    This surely has to be disappointing news for John. After John’s accident, someone here said they had gotten two kindles for Christmas and kindly offered to send one to John. A kindle would probably come in really handy about now.

  123. 123.

    Pococurante

    But can he strike a blow for medical marijuana or invite his gay cousin in from XYZ? If so, we can backlink to Andrew.

    Not that I’m opposed to any options.

  125. 125.

    MattR

    @EFroh: I think Ellie and Lily are about the same size (30 lb). Of course I am not sure if the reason Ellie wont wear the booties is because they are the wrong size.

  127. 127.

    spudgun

    Ahh, pain meds…better living through pharmaceuticals.

    I hope you have a very speedy recovery – take care of yourself!

  128. 128.

    Shell

    God Speed, John.

    To be honest, I’m still reeling from the idea he drove himself to the ER with a dislocated shoulder.

  131. 131.

    Ann Marie

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery, John! I’m only a lurker, but yours is one of the two blogs I must check every day, at least once or twice. I trust Lily and Tunch will give you much love and sympathy. Or at least Lily will.

  132. 132.

    Shell

    And Lily. Booties are needed. And, of course, s

    I’m a dog lover/spoiler but I think Lily needs to suck it up as far as walking on cold surfaces.

  133. 133.

    Chad N Freude

    John, I’m very angry that the Deity, who we all know doesn’t exist, allowed this to happen. (Pat Robertson will probably offer a justification on his TV show.) If my alternate universe time machine wasn’t down for repairs, I’d go back and give you a do-over. Please heal quickly, and never pick up an animal in winter again.

  141. 141.

    Beeb

    I’m sorry the injury was even more serious than your docs thought but very relieved that the surgery went well. My furry friends and I are sending warm healing thoughts your way.

  142. 142.

    Delia

    Well, that’s crappy news. Good luck with the recovery.

    Also for the laughs:

    Arrested Development.
    And anything any of the M. Pythons have ever done.

    None of that ever gets old.

  143. 143.

    SIA

    @ JGabriel, since you’re including black and white classics, how about Jack Benny, George Washington Slept Here. Very funny.

  145. 145.

    Sentient Puddle

    This is some serious Mass Effect 2 time he’s now got on his hands! Hell, with this time off, he could decide that he doesn’t like the path his current Shepard took, replay the first to get the desired outcome, and finish the second with plenty of time to spare!

    Meanwhile, I must note that the Cerberus Network activation on the 360 is totally fucking counter-intuitive. They totally fucked up the step-by-step process on this one.

  146. 146.

    Skepticat

    This afternoon I was in a hardware store and thought of JC. By the register was a display of ice cleats, a sort of rubber web with metal pins to go over one’s shoes to provide traction. Thank goodness that he has health coverage, a nice mom, and the critters. I doubt that the enforced idleness is going to bring out the best in our boy; I certainly don’t envy him the prospect.

  147. 147.

    Shell

    If you’re a Python fan, check out Terry Jones’ series, “Medieval Lives.’ A witty but surprising look at the realities and cliches of life back in Days of Yore.

  150. 150.

    Betsy

    Oh, that is just awful! Sending good vibes your way, Cole, for a swift and complete recovery.

    And for God’s sake, I will definitely send you some cookies now, if you or someone would give me your address.

  152. 152.

    Annie

    Let’s see. John can’t drive or lift for six weeks…

    But it doesn’t say he can’t type. So I assume that we will get John + 3,000,000,000,000 posts over the next six weeks. It will be interesting to observe how drugs sharpen his analytical skills.

    And, pictures of Tunch lifting Lily or Lily trying to lift Tunch. And, which one will drive to the store? I can’t wait for pictures of Tunch walking Lily in the mornings. And, Lily brushing Tunch in the evenings…And, John from his chair barking orders at both of them.

    Should be an engaging six weeks for all of us. Get well, John. We want you well and whole…and, engaging as ever.

  153. 153.

    Kathi

    I used Dragon a few years ago after rotator cuff surgery and it worked great most of the time. Except for the times it completely refused to understand me but that made for some wildly interesting posts, especially when combined with Vicodin. Take care of yourself.

  154. 154.

    bystander

    Oh, man. And, I thought rehab was going to be a bitch before.

    Anyone know if John plays golf? This could really raise havoc with a golf swing.

    Heal, John! And, Lily says, heel, too!

  155. 155.

    slag

    @JGabriel: I say stop after season three of Buffy (+the musical) and augment with the complete run of Firefly. IMHO.

    Also, if we’re going for laughs, gotta toss in a little Big Lebowski and The Blues Brothers. Beyond which, Ten Things I Hate About You is a fun one as is Little Miss Sunshine.

  156. 156.

    Linkmeister

    In my case no driving for six weeks would be even more troublesome than the pain. I did that once (ten weeks, actually), and the claustrophobic feeling of being tied to the house nearly drove me mad.

    I hope that doesn’t happen to you, John. Get better soonest!

  158. 158.

    Carrie

    Yeah, but did his Mom like the shower curtain? I bet she was really impressed, eh? Eh??

    Get well soon, the bloggyverse isn’t the same without you.

  160. 160.

    whatsleft

    I highly recommend taking the pain meds 30-45 mins before going to the physical therapist – it makes the whole process much more bearable, and it was the recommendation of my physical therapist last month when I went thru recovery after shoulder surgery. BIG difference when I forgot one time in a moment of hubris that first week!!

    Good luck and FSM-speed :-)

  161. 161.

    JGabriel

    media browski:

    You did it for the dawg. And for that you will be forever loved and honored.

    And mocked.

    (Looks around.)

    There will be mocking, right? The mean, foul-mouthed, cranky curmudgeon shatters his shoulder to protect a widdle doggie from a fall and we’re not …

    Oh, okay, no mocking. Sheesh.

    .

  162. 162.

    Ming

    oh no! sounds like things really got pulverized in there… i’m so sorry.

    please take care and get well soon. and yeah, rest and hydrate aggressively, stay in good touch with your medical team, love the Lily and the Tunch, and apply humor liberally. you wants us to set you up with this?

    http://www.carecalendar.org/

    It’s a free website for coordinating helpful efforts from a community after someone has a new baby, surgery, extended illness, etc. Haven’t used it but I hear it’s good.

    poor man! I hope Tunchie and Lils give you lots of warm fuzzies…

  163. 163.

    Mary

    Get well soon John. What you did to save Lily’s life for the second time is breathtaking. We miss you but don’t hurry back.

  164. 164.

    gnomedad

    Our household recently discovered The Big Bang Theory on DVD. I can’t remember ever before reliably and consistently laughing out loud at a sitcom. Highly recommended if the docs say laughing is OK.

  165. 165.

    Violet

    @gnomedad:
    Our household loves Big Bang Theory, but John Cole said he thought it was stupid. No accounting for taste.

    He keeps mentioning Chuck. I guess that means he thinks it’s okay this season. I only just watched the first one and it was pretty good.

  166. 166.

    South of I-10

    Glad to hear you are on the mend, even if it might take a little longer than anticipated.

  167. 167.

    CynDee

    @Cathie from Canada: So very good of you to share this wonderfully specific information. Anyone might be glad they know it, and we especially want John to take all care.

    Maybe John could take up meditation. It’s the perfect opportunity, and would definitely be time well spent.

    What about all you meditators sharing your tips? I’m sure that John will be reading, if not typing.

    Don’t take any risks, John — we’ll wait for ya, as my black lab used to say to me. He did.

    Anybody would heal faster with Lily in the room. She can look at him with those lovely eyes, while Tunch sits on him and keeps him from hurting himself.

    Well, John, I guess tonight the furry ones must think you smell real funny, and wonder where you’ve been . . . but you’re home now, and we will all rest easier knowing it.

  169. 169.

    Morbo

    My teachers said I was an overachiever when I broke my leg in two places; looks like you are too, Cole. Get well soon.

  171. 171.

    robertdsc

    It just occurred to me that after the 6 weeks are up, John will be able to throw better than Roelithsberger. Go get em, JC!

  172. 172.

    demo woman

    I just hope that he can sleep some place else besides the recliner. Please get well soon.

  173. 173.

    Dee Loralei

    Hope your recovery goes better John. Anything we can do, let us know. Don’t forget White Collar tonight, Psych and Leverage tomorrow night. Yay DVR! Tonight for dinner I made moussaka, brownbutter “salt sticks” an artichoke hearts salad and a lemon pound cake. Can we upload foodstuffs yet?

  174. 174.

    John Borrego

    Best wishes and prayers for your recovery, John. I hope Lily appreciates your sacrifice.

  175. 175.

    RedKitten

    Yeah, I think we need to send John some get-well gifts. Betsy’s offering cookies, we can all chip in for some voice recognition software.

    Tammy, Devon, Mrs. Cole? For privacy reasons I can see why you wouldn’t want to give out John’s mailing address, but is there any possibility of setting up a PO Box so that we can send cards and whatnot?

  176. 176.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Oh wow. Oh John. Ouch ouch ouchety ouch.

    The not driving thing majorly sucks. I had quad bypass several years ago and they said no driving for 4 weeks, then we’ll reassess. Thought it was because they feared sluggish reaction time b/c of meds, lingering anesthesia, etc. But what they were really worried about was that I might be in a fenderbender and the air bag would deploy and assplode my sternum open again. I expect they are thinking the same with your shoulder.

    Anyhow, I hope you are on lovely meds. Lucky you to have a mom to make everything all better.

    /maudlin

  177. 177.

    Frank Chow

    Best wishes John! Sorry to hear it was rough, enjoy the prescription drugs.

    Oh and if there is one thing I learned from an injury I had last year. Take your time and listen to your physical therapist ; )

    Cheers!

  179. 179.

    WaterGirl

    @Betsy: If someone from the Cole family is reading this, maybe they can post the recipe for the cookies John wanted – butterscotch raisin.

    With 6 long weeks ahead, I’d say John will need more than one batch of cookies. I would gladly send cookies, too.

  181. 181.

    demo woman

    @RedKitten: I definitely agree. John could put up a wish list with Amazon and a PO box but unfortunately he’s not the type. Maybe we could just continue to complain until he does.

  184. 184.

    mai naem

    A speedy recovery JC. Don’t be taking Tunch for a walk now or pissing him off in any way because you he might make your other arm non-usable.

  187. 187.

    TuiMel

    Glad the surgery is behind you, John. I hope your recovery goes well and that there are no further complications.

  188. 188.

    valdivia

    Super late to this but glad to hear John came out ok, in general, from the surgery. Brutal the six weeks he will have to be careful. Hopefully he won’t be going galt on driving and carrying the way he goes galt on blogging.

  189. 189.

    Jay C

    @Cathie from Canada:

    1. Get lots and lots of rest. This is extremely boring and he will just have to deal with the boredom as best he can.

    And you get three guesses (the first two don’t count) as to just who* will be called upon to help Our John through his lengthy painful convalescence, and deal with all rthat boredom….

    *Hint: it rhymes with “frog-commenters”

  195. 195.

    4jkb4ia

    I am relieved that John had surgery. He should recover in the given time. I cannot take credit for curing anybody with prayers.

  198. 198.

    hamletta

    Ow, ow, ow! Didn’t anyone ever tell you actual pain is a bad reason to take Percocet?

    Get well soon! And all manner of love to your Mom and all the friends and family who are helping you get through this. I wish I could bring you all casseroles!

    @Ming: Thanks for that link! What a great idea. I’ll recommend it to my church.

  199. 199.

    Irony Abounds

    Heal quickly fine sir, and whatever you do avoid the oxycontin – it will own you in a New York minute.

  201. 201.

    Elie

    J Gabriel:

    Another comic movie suggestion:

    Modern Times — Charlie Chaplin

    One of the best all time movies to my mind

    Any old Cary Grant movie…Bringing up Baby comes to mind, but any will do..

    African Queen — with Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn

    I like the old funny movies…they had a lighter hand without endless swear words and goofball antics but still brought out the just pure joy of laughter..they were usually also semi intelligent — highlighting the brief time period when the majority of America had brains

  203. 203.

    bob h

    When I got out of surgery last Fall, the first thing I did when I got home was take my 125-pound Rottie for a walk. He lunged at another dog, and tore at the stitches in my chest. John beware of this.

  204. 204.

    pika

    Many wishes for strong, swift healing to you, John. And yes, if any of the fam knows how to get material cards, etc. to him, it would be wonderful to know. The blogosphere is just depressing without your wit and the Tunch and Lily. The commenters are amazing, of course, but we miss you.

  205. 205.

    T. Scheisskopf

    Catching up, catching up, do dee do do dummmm…catching up…

    I have my massively ‘sploded appendix(Well, not REALLY the appendix…they couldn’t find much of anything of that, just some ropey, smelly stuff where it used to live) taken out a year ago. Seems pseudomonas has been taking steroids, spending time in the gym and getting nasty recently and I got to meet it.

    The correspondent who mentioned aloe for the resultant constipation from opoids could not have been more correct. Yepper, them things will bind you up better than a cheese and rice casserole, which in John’s case would have to be made with a fine, aged Asiago and a fragrant Basmati methinks. Accompanied by a robust wine, no doubt.

    Get well soon, Cole, and remember: you can be nasty and swear all you want while you are on painkillers. The nurses just smile solicitously. But the “sexy nurse” meme is fatally flawed: no one is sexy when you are in pain and on opoids and besides, you couldn’t get it up with a floor jack, even if they were.

    And please don’t be a knucklehead. Do what the doctors and therapists tell you! As surprising as this might sound, they DO know more about this than you. I know, it seems impossible…but it’s true.

    Canine love and grossly obese feline disdain will speed the recovery and sustain you in the weeks ahead. Likely, Tunch will surprise you and want to sleep right next to, if not on, your shoulder. Cats are funny like that. The heat of thousands of calories being processed will help the healing.

  206. 206.

    Fergus Wooster

    Sorry to hear John. Try to limit your intertron exposure for the next few days.

    Then tune-up your one-handed typing skills. We need you back.

  207. 207.

    Dog is My Copilot

    Sorry to hear. Sending good thoughts that his recovery is a smooth one. I bet Lily and Tunch miss him.

  209. 209.

    Zuzu's Petals

    All best wishes for a complete recovery.

    And may your healing time be full of unexpected blessings.

  210. 210.

    Billy K

    John, if you’re so bored you got this far in the comments, best wishes, pal. Let us know if you need anything.

Comments are closed.