By tipping, I didn’t mean cash, I meant a thank-you card and a gift cert. to a restaurant or Starbucks, etc. Would that be ok?
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.
We still have time to mess this up!
The worst democrat is better than the best republican.
Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.
The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.
You cannot love your country only when you win.
There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.
Petty moves from a petty man.
I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.
In my day, never was longer.
Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.
The way to stop violence is to stop manufacturing the hatred that fuels it.
Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?
There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.
That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.
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A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.
The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.
Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.
Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.
If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.
“They all knew.”
We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.
Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.
General Winfield Stuck
Just tell her she’s hot and you want her to have your babies. Works every time, except when it doesn’t
MobiusKlein
If it’s like cow tipping, you wait till they’re asleep at night.
Max
IMHO – It would be better to send food for the whole unit/shift. Nurses like sweets. Have a friend drive thru Krispy Kreme and bring a few dozen glazed to the desk during the shift you want to recognize. And then a thank you to the specific players.
It takes a Village, @johncole.
C Nelson Reilly
Nurse tipping is more fun than cow tipping
Tom Hilton
Tell her to buy low and sell high. That’s a pretty good tip.
Batocchio
I like Max’s idea.
Laura W
Didn’t 80,765 people already address this when you asked it the first time?
Mmmmm….morphine!
Zuzu's Petals
@Max:
Or … have Starbucks deliver a gallon of coffee and some goodies to each shift.
mr. whipple
I think that would be very appreciated, John. Showing kindness and appreciation is rarely wrong.
tbogg
Well, according Naughty Nurses Vol. 14 you’re supposed to…
Oh wait. That seems kind of inappropriate.
You know, candlesticks make a nice gift…
CanadaGoose
NO TIPPING
It will embarass her and may be a violation of policy.
mr. whipple
@Tom Hilton:
LoL.
goblue72
fine, fine, fine, how about this:
$10 Starbucks card for extra pillow fluffing
$25 Barnes and Noble card for tossing an extra pain pill in your cup
$100 Victoria’s Secret gift certificate for the special finish
Groucho48
A big box of candy along with a card thanking the nurses who went above and beyond would probably be greatly appreciated.
robertdsc
@tbogg:
LMAO. Tbogg wins the thread.
beltane
@Max: Agreed. When our last child was born my husband bought a new coffeemaker for the nursing unit as their old one was giving them trouble.
Just Some Fuckhead
Nurse makes about twice what you make. She should be buying you shit outta gratitude for being able to fleece the sick.
Zuzu's Petals
@tbogg:
Bonus points for the Bull Durham reference.
Omnes Omnibus
@Max: This would work. Also, I understand that people like flowers.
Michael
I think I saw this movie on Vivid Video.
Comrade Mary
You are adorably persistent.
1) Give food to all the nurses. She has to work with them for the rest of her time there. Be kind in the long run, not just the short run.
2) Write a glowing letter to her boss. Again: long run.
3) Give her a card that includes a Starbucks card or something else for $10 or less. That shouldn’t trip any rules or her own guilt mechanisms.
demkat620
I think that would be a very nice thing. Nurses I know love Starbucks.
Zuzu's Petals
@Omnes Omnibus:
But don’t they end up with all the leftover arrangements anyway?
John O
Stay out of biker bars?
Personally, I would do whatever I felt was appropriate, because I have no idea what is appropriate, though I’m confident the nurses aren’t exactly used to being tipped, so you’re probably pretty safe no matter what you do.
Get well, John!
Zuzu's Petals
Geeze, where did all those nursing ads on the sidebar come from?!
goblue72
My mother who is a nurse says if she was to receive a gift it would be to work at a nursing home with a nurse’s union.
So a gift certificate to buy a union organizer would probably be appreciated.
John O
@Comrade Mary:
That seems like a pretty nice gesture and good compromise to me, CM.
But, just hypothetically, what if John is a little sweet on her?
matoko_chan
I personally prefer Dazbog to Starbucks.
The nurses I know often work 12 hour shifts and sometimes at night, and Dazbog is a beastin’ caffine transfusion.
In Soviet Russia, coffee drinks you!
;)
Sebastian
yes, as long as the gift certificate or gift card is under 100 bucks
FMguru
Don’t forget to send a letter to the nurse’s direct supervisor (or the doctor in charge of the clinic, or the head of the hospital) praising the nurse and the service she provided. Supervisors love getting unsolicited positive feedback from customers/clients, and those sorts of things has a big impact when the time for evaluations/raises/promotions comes arond. Especially a snail-mail letter, which goes right in the employee’s file.
Tim I
I think a proposal of marriage is always appreciated.
mongo
How about making a donation in her name to the relief effort in Haiti, and letting her know that in a nice card?
Seems like a no-brainer to me.
eastriver
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Just Some Ignorant Fuckhead.
“fleece the sick” Nice.
JC, some food delivered is a great idea. Since you can’t do it, have something delivered, as a thank-you for all the nurses in her station. Go here and have a lemon cake delivered. It’ll cost you about 40 bucks. She can share with other hospital folk if that’s the logistics at the hospital, or she can bring it home for her family. (The lemon cakes are amazing. A traditional, casual Hollywood gift.)
Omnes Omnibus
@Comrade Mary:
He’s on pain meds. It is possible that he doesn’t remember much. When I had ACL surgery years ago, I developed a fondness for the Teletubbies that went away when I finished with the Percocet. We can’t hold him responsible for his actions. That being said, it is nice that he is being concerned.
Oh, yeah, I took doughnuts to my last day of physical therapy. It seemed to go over well.
mgordon1
There are people out there with far less important jobs who most of the time get tipped for doing a barely adequate job. If you feel strange giving a gift certificate just get the thank-you card. I’m sure it will be appreciated.
General Winfield Stuck
Charlie ran off again earlier in the day. The wabbity wascal. I went crazy, jumped in my truck and drove all over the damn place looking for him, came back home and there he was looking at me like WTF?
mr. whipple
Keg of beer?
Omnes Omnibus
@Zuzu’s Petals: Oh, yeah. Doughnuts, it is. Or a muffin basket.
ellie
Flowers and candy should do it.
tatertot
From experience: no cake – if there’s an emergency, cake gets stale. Flowers: usually too many leftover from patients (unless you’re in ER). CHOCOLATE: Oh yeah, and fruit (to counter the chocolate) that takes a few days to ripen (so it doesn’t have to be devoured right away): oranges, apples, pineapples, bananas. Also appreciated, though usually only acquired after you’re discharged, are things like silk or woolly scarves, gloves, book or music tokens. If you get a chance to find out what their home life is, you may think of getting a book/CD for their children if they’ve any, or a gift for their pet, which REALLY shows you’ve been listening! Nurses love to know they’ve been acknowledged as human beings, and not only care-givers.
eemom
Goddamn if you are not the kindest person I’ve ever heard of, to be thinking about gifts to the nurse when you’re dealing with such a difficult and painful recovery.
Get well soon, good Mr. Cole. This insane world needs you.
John O
I will bet John Cole $100 to his favorite charity, and this is a VERY good bet for him, if he admits he has an affinity for nurses and teachers as groups. John is a good man.
If he says he doesn’t, I’ll cough up.
Comrade Mary
@Omnes Omnibus: No, I think he’s well aware of the earlier question he asked and the answers he got then. He’s just really, really trying to get someone to agree that the nurse should get a little something extra.
demkat620
OT but here’s a tip for hte president. Ron Christie is on with Ed right now. Whatever that crossed eyed bastard says the WH needs to do, do the opposite.
I hate that evil Cheney lovin’ lying prick.
Violet
John, the hospital might have rules as to what sort of gift certificate-y type things anyone working there can accept. You could unwittingly get the nurse into some trouble. Although if you keep it under $10 it’s probably not a huge deal.
Better to write the personal note to her and her supervisors and have some kind of food gift sent to the entire unit – chocolate, cookies, pizza, lunch on a certain day, etc.
cmorenc
DELICIOUS FOOD of some sort. Preferably some sort of sweet treat packaged in small enough items that each nurse indulging in one or two only causes tiny, ignorable twinges of guilt.
That happens ALL THE TIME(food gifts) and are perfectly approprate, whereas more personal, tangible items are far, far, more difficult to properly calibrate between too insignificant (or ill-suited to the target nurses) or simply too inappropriate for most of them.
Just make sure it is something that is suited to be put out in the nurse’s station shared with the entire shift, with special thanks if you want to a couple of nurses who went above and beyond (but not over the line).
demkat620
@John O: Dude, do you know any nurses? They are they are the hardest working people in any hospital. Why wouldn’t you have an affinity for them as a group?
Celia
I’m a nurse, have been for almost 30 years, and I can tell you that most of us take great pleasure and satisfaction both personal and professional, in providing care and comfort. Relieving pain is a big priority; orthopedic surgery is like carpentry and there’s lots of nailing and stretching and drilling, etc. to make it hurt like hell. Yes your nurse was just doing her job, but it takes a special person to want to be there to ease someone’s burden. Cash is out, as you obviously know, but a card, a baked good, bag of bagels and coffee, etc, any of these would be greatly appreciated. An email singing your nurses’ praises, sent to the unit supervisor, wouldn’t hurt either. Good luck and thanks for giving nurses a shoutout!
Bobzim
‘Never moon a werewolf’ is always prudent, but sometimes overlooked, advice.
John O
@demkat620:
Yes. But lawyers and Dr.’s and investment bankers and coal miners work hard, too. I speak only in terms of personality.
Carrie
Don’t want to sound like a dickette but i still say a personalised gift to a particular nurse that left an impression is okay. Believe me, the others won’t feel slighted in the least, they see so many people every day.
Gifting cookies/ flowers to the nursing station is also very good, but i don’t see a problem with thanking someone in particular.
Omnes Omnibus
As a law@John O: As a lawyer, I would not say no to a muffin basket.
Cat Lady
I LOVE THE ALL CAPS. WE ALL ALREADY SAID NO CASH – FOOD AND CARDS!
I can’t wait for the late night posts. Nothing worse than hospitals at night when you’re feeling like crap and sedated but restless. Epic posting ahead!
Ruckus
@Tom Hilton:
Have a friend who says he always buys high and sells low. That way he knows who is doing the screwing.
PK
Send a picture of yourself Scott Brown style when you are well. Make sure to lean on your fully healed shoulder. That way they will see first hand the results of their superb nursing skills.
Omnes Omnibus
@Omnes Omnibus: Why has the edit function stopped working? FYWP
mcd410x
Good luck, John. I had my collarbone reconnected with pins and duct tape right at a year ago — couldn’t believe how long it took to regain full feeling in everything (months and months). Don’t come back to work after 4 days — I’m an idiot.
Slow and steady wins the race.
And nurse tipping.
Omnes Omnibus
@PK: NOT this.
debbie
Aside from the phone call you’ll make to the supervisor, you should write a nice note of thanks. Put it to the attention of the nurse who was so exceptional, but be sure to include your appreciation to everyone (“This is addressed to XX who was so kind to me [whenever], but it includes my deepest thanks and appreciation for all of you — doctors, nurses, aides [and whoever else] — who saw to my comfort during my stay. Your kindness and compassion saw me through a very unpleasant experience. You don’t get nearly all the appreciation that you deserve, but I hope this little gift will suffice to express my gratitude to you all.”)
Include some form of fruit or food. A gift card is tacky.
x
Candy, donuts, bakery goodies … good treats to eat. The starbucks coffee box & a basket of scones is nice. Something the team can share.
Send a seperate package for each shift.
A thank you card to the entire staff with special mentions. Those are posted for all to read.
No personal tips. The recipient cannot accept it.
A speedy recovery to you, John. Take it easy, use your ice packs & stay ahead of the pain.
freelancer
Okay, John, just spoke with 3 different nurses.
The nurse probably will not be able to accept the giftcard, but the mentions of food, and a nice note went over very well.
eastriver
Mrs. Beasley’s. Trust me. Do it. Now.
demo woman
John, A card and an email to the superiors will be appreciated. Nurses like to share food but I’m sure that she/he will appreciate what ever. It’s nice to recognize a job well done. Please take care of yourself.
Mike
I’m an EMT. People tried to tip me a few times, and it was just awkward. I don’t want to say insulting, but almost.
There’s always cunnilingus.
Elroy's Lunch
John, as a son of a nurse, the brother of a nurse and brother-in-law of a vet (okay, her vet staff are not technically “nurses” but when E.L. is in for special workups we send something. ) I would suggest something like a big bag of real bagels with assorted cream cheese stuff for the morning staff and chocolaty things for the evening shift. Direct personal gifts are generally not a good idea.
And don’t be a tough-guy on the pain meds. Use ’em.
WereBear
@beltane: That’s a lovely idea!
I did not think about the professional implications, and of course there are differences between consumables, thoughtful durable goods, and outright tips.
D-Chance.
208 comments in the first thread, and he needs a second opinion… damn, Cole.
cat48
I think that sounds great. I’m warming up to the gift cert. idea now if it’s for a restaurant–was always for a nice TY card.
Dannie22
1. Giving personal gifts is a no no. Unless you give everyone on the unit a gift card to starbucks. That’s a lot of gift cards
2. BUY the entire unit FOOD!! Nurses are always hungry. They don’t want flowers. The nurse can’t take the flowers home and they can’t stay on most units because of allergies.
3. Please, send the head of nursing a letter, (the hospital administrator head of nursing) stating specifically what was so wonderful about your care.
4.I will reiterate. Most hospitals don’t want you to tip the nurses unless you tip the entire staff!! Most patients just send food to the unit for everyone. Nurses are hungry!! If you give the nurse a gift card,just for that nurse, it would have to be off the unit where her co-workers don’t know about it. If you send the nurse a gift just for her and the staff knows it , the nurse might get into trouble. I know it sounds crazy, but some hospitals have very strict policies about this. Sending a letter to the head administrator and sending food to the unit, is the best way to say thank you
freelancer
@Mike:
People tried to offer this, but cash was awkward?
Okeedokee, mikey.
PurpleGirl
A personal note to the nurse AND a letter to her supervisor about how you appreciated her kindness and care. This will be placed in her HR file and be good support for her at next evaluation. A gift of food to the unit’s nursing staff would show appreciation to all the nurses. (Food for the unit is good because many times nurses miss meals and having fruit or bagels at the nursing station means they can nosh a bit.)
RSR
The thank you note is good, and a note to HR for their records might be good too.
As for a gift, even an especially good nurse is part of a team, and it’d be best to thank them all with flowers or a bagel tray or something they all can enjoy. If you go that route, a separate small gift card or something to one individual would be fine, IMO, as well.
*re flowers* after reading some other comments, I see that flowers might not be the great in some wards. Stick to the food.
eastriver
@Mike:
But not personal cunnilingus. I think we’re all agreed on that.
Cunnilungus for the entire nursing staff.
And a nice card.
arguingwithsignposts
@freelancer:
Or Colonel Angus.
eastriver
((please tell me that Mrs. Cole isn’t reading this thread. If so, Mrs. Cole, please know that “cunnilingus” is code for “basket of muffins.”))
soonergrunt
Send 5 pounds of Starbucks coffee to the nurses’ station, along with a nice card and flowers.
I used to work in a hospital and the one thing that was always in use was the coffee.
RSR
wow, tbogg is here. I’m getting tingly! Love your stuff, tbogg!
Jay in Oregon
@eastriver:
…that’s not a whole heck of a lot better, you know.
Tom Hilton
@eastriver: that could be particularly awkward if any of the nursing staff is male.
WereBear
@Jay in Oregon: That cracked me up.
And I needed it.
Dannie22
Howard Zinn died.
LongHairedWeirdo
Expressing appreciation is always good – a card or letter will be nice.
“Tipping” – nurses used to be tipped, in the sense that you’d tip hotel staff. I’ve heard it said that, because of this history, there are some who might find it a bit rankling. (I don’t know a bunch of nurses, so I don’t know if this is widespread. But, I’ve heard it expressed – my mom was a nurse.)
I do agree with those who say that a gift expressing your appreciation that can be shared by all of the nurses will probably be deeply appreciated, and likely better than an individualized gift.
WaterGirl
I think you could send a thank you note and a treat for everyone to share and also send an individual note & gift to the nurse you thought was really special.
I recommend Burdick’s Chocolates . Best chocolates I have ever had.
If you kind of liked this nurse, or think you maybe could like her, you could always send a gift certificate (enough for 2) to your favorite restaurant. If she kind of liked you in return, she could always invite you to join her.
P.S. Call the hospital if you are worried about hospital rules.
panicbean
Tipping is greatly appreciated by nurses, as in a nice card and some chocolate! She/they will be so grateful to you, I know from personal experience. :)
Go ahead and do it.
Keith G
John, good to see you around. I spent a month in hospital 6 years ago. I had great insurance so my out of pocket was nil.
I loved that staff as I know they saved my life and helped heal my spirit. My next to last day on the floor, I called a local bakery in the AM and had boxes of pastries delivered for the first shift.
Later in the day, I ordered several boxes of pizzas for the second shift. We had a good time. Hugs, kisses and atta boys/girls all around.
Eric S
@Bobzim: I’m officially stealing that.
And TBogg @ 10 FTW.
R. Porrofatto
My Most Significant Other is a nurse. She used to get all kinds of gifts when she worked long (sometimes years-long) private duty cases, but then she became one of the family for those patients. She considers taking good care of a patient for an overnighter nothing more than doing her job. She recommends nothing more than a handwritten thank you note or card to the nurse, maybe a box of candy to the nurse’s station, and a letter to the hospital administrator saying how all the staff was great, especially Ms. ____. But one or none of these is fine, too.
If you’re sweet on her then run like hell, son. Nurses are crazy. :)
(See, hon, that’s a smiley face. It means I was just being faceti… OW)
Betsy
@WaterGirl:
Have you had their hot chocolate? Heaven in a coffee cup.
MysticalChick
Glad to hear you are alive (just but still …) – been scoping the blog waiting to hear some news.
Take it easy – remember to heed your lessons from the Universe or you end up with your Glenoid all f’d up (or something like that. Poor Glen.)
Notorious P.A.T.
I asked my mom, a nurse, if sending a gift to the nurses would be alright. “Absolutely!” she said. Also she said to write a letter to the hospital administrator saying how well you were treated.
WaterGirl
@Betsy: I have the Burdick dark hot chocolate and it is wonderful. Haven’t had any all winter, though. I might have to make some tonight.
eastriver
@Jay in Oregon:
I resisted “basket of muff.” I did. At least the first time.
polyorchnid octopunch
The restaurant gift card is a good idea. To make it really nice, make it a good restaurant and give ’em a budget of a hundred bucks or so.
By good I mean locally owned (as in, owned by a person, not a publicly traded corporation) with a real chef. Make sure it’s enough to get a nice dinner for the nurse and a date and a bottle of wine. If you have any restaurants you know, call ’em up and ask them about setting it up… when you tell them the reason they’ll be happy to help you, I’m sure.
Basically, make sure your gift includes a nice experience, not just a cheap night out.
Poicephalus
Absolutely, take care of the nurse (-es).
And it ain’t tipping (percentage of bill), it is a simple human act of appreciation.
Not everything need be a bidness transaction. That would be right-wing framage.
C
BN thanks for the opportunity to comment on normal, everyday kinda shit.
John O
The letter to the superiors is by far the “nicest” thing you can do for a nurse, or even a customer service rep who solved your problems efficiently, but if you’re sweet on one you should do something else.
It all depends on motive.
(I hadn’t seen the Colonel Angus bit in a long time. Thanks!)
machine
A gift certificate to a source of comfortable nurse-type shoes goes a long way. My mom was an RN for eleventy billion years and always had a hard time with her feet after a shift (or a double).
eastriver
@Notorious P.A.T.:
I just spoke to a friend who’s a nurse, and she said, “The choice is Starbucks or cunnilingus? Are you fucking kidding me?”
And I quote.
(If you don’t choose Starbucks, you won’t need a card.)
Peter J
I just want to point out the danger to the health care system if every patient decided to give sweets, muffins, cakes, donuts etc to the nurses.
Send carrots instead.
arguingwithsignposts
@eastriver:
I laughed out loud. Did you reply: “Well, it is Balloon Juice.”
OT: In cat-related news, Smudge has decided that she likes to tear up toilet paper. A whole roll destroyed when I woke up this morning. She just tried to reach two more, and I’m having a hard time finding a ledge high enough to put them on so she won’t tear those up too. (no cabinets in the WC, unfortunately).
eastriver
@Peter J:
“carrots”? Are we back to code? You lost me, kiddo.
Peter J
@eastriver:
It’s all in your head… :)
arguingwithsignposts
@Peter J: Sometimes, a carrot is just a carrot, right?
freelancer
@arguingwithsignposts:
and sometimes it’s a big orange dick!
Shit. Sorry John’s mom.
Fuck, apologies for the swearing, I’ve watched In the Loop one too many times this week.
youtube.com/watch?v=LugJd6uGJqI
/Carlin
Keith G
@arguingwithsignposts: TP and paper towels become fluffy confetti if left in reach. It’s not casual. Izzy launches a direct, fiendish attack.
And I lost count of iPod ‘buds I have had to replace.
eastriver
@Peter J:
(Peter, JC wants to tip a nurse not a bunny. And performing cunnilingus on a rabbit is sorta wrong.)
Annie
@goblue72:
What about if it is male nurse????
John never fails us. I knew he could still type
Tomlinson
I’m kind of bummed because when I read the title I figured Cole was sneaking up on unsuspecting sleeping nurses and giving them juuust enough of a nudge to knock them over.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
I think 15% of the total bill is the minimum so if you were really impressed with her work then go ahead and give her 20%. It’s the least you can do. Remember, if you have to go back for further work and you stiff her on the tip (ooh, great double entendre!) then she will probably leave the bedpan in the freezer between rounds. ;)
Tough call on this because she is a professional, not some waitress who went above and beyond the call of duty. Cash? I really don’t think that would be appropriate for a professional like her. I would do something for everyone who was on that shift, coffee and donuts is good, maybe include a ‘special’ donut set aside with her name on it as an additional thanks for what you considered excellent care. Something that her coworkers would not be jealous about, not that they would be but just about every workplace has its ‘politics’ of one sort or another, more of something that makes them smile instead.
I have done the same for businesses who have gone above the call of duty in services rendered. It works, gets your message across and everyone is happy. The suggestion of a letter to the hospital stating your gratitude for all of the people there, with an additional note about this particular nurse, will always be welcomed.
People like to be told they are doing a good job, it’s rarely done and it lets the people in charge know that they have excellent employees on the job.
arguingwithsignposts
@Tomlinson:
pro-tip: We got the “cow-tipping” jokes out of the way waaaay upthread.
Annie
How about a nice gift basket — fruit, cookies, other goodies. That way everyone can enjoy.
Peter J
@eastriver:
What if it’s a Playboy bunny? Still wrong? Doubt it.
(BTW, The Playboy bunny wasn’t in my head until I watched freelancer’s NFSW link, at 0:55 or so).
eastriver
@DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):
Sorry, Dougie. JC is going to opt for the “basket of muffins” gift. A good ol’ American tongue lashing.
(And thus ends my streak of smutty talk. For tonight.)
groundhum
Yes. Appreciative gestures always work, especially when deserved.
Anne Laurie
Again, Mark Twain, etiquette master: “I can live for a month on a good compliment.” Agree that re-reading a thank-you note can be more energizing than a vat of Starbucks coffee.
But John, if you like that nurse so much and you’ve had the donuts delivered to her shift… go ahead and ask her out. Or if you worry that might be inappropriate (or that you’re too pain-addled to be suave) ask your mom to do the preliminary negotiations. Be sure she tells the whole Lily story, ’cause that’s a total winner in the sterling-human-being sweeps.
Phaedrus
Is that like cow tipping?
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
This
sounds like a new type of hemorrhoid only found on Glenn Beck supporters. It’s a side-effect of Extreme Rectal-Cranial Impaction.
Carrie
@Phaedrus:
Yes. It’s code.
asiangrrlMN
Oh my god. This thread, it is full of teh win, as the kids say these days. I needed a good guffaw, and this thread certainly provided it. It is better than Cats (but not cats). I will be reading it again and again.
So, Cole, to sum it up–note to supervisor and to entire staff, including personal love note to your sweetie nurse. Treats all around (NOT carrots) and ask the sweetie out on the sly if you’re, you know, into her. Got that? Now take your meds and go to sleep like a good boy.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
@eastriver:
Nothing wrong with stuffin’ a muffin!
Peter J
Nurse Tipping
That’s just weird.
BTW, Balloon Juice now owns the phrase ‘Nurse Tipping’. Google says so.
eastriver
@DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):
That would be a pumpkin muffin. At least in Mississippi. (Wait for it…)
Bobzim
@Eric S: That would be at least the 2nd time it’s been stolen, if you count my theft of it.
RareSanity
I say just give her a firm “good game” smack on the rear. The combination of this action being congratulatory, funny, and possibly…enticing is a triple threat.
Hob
The cow-tipping jokes don’t make sense to me because in my experience, after a typical shift, I would just fall over without anyone pushing on me.
asiangrrlMN
@Hob: Yeah, I didn’t think it would take much to tip a tired nurse over.
eastriver
@RareSanity:
Oh, yeah. I find that chicks these days always appreciate a slap on the ass from a stranger. At least the honeys here in NYC.
Nice one, RarelyGetLaidMuch.
AnnaN
When my husband had valve replacement surgery a couple of years ago at Boulder Community Hosp., I hit Whole Foods and bought a couple of bags of sweet and salty snacks for the CICU nursing staff. The charge nurse put half of it away for the day-time staff. Did the same 7 days later with the CCU staff. It was the least I could do to show a small token of my appreciation for their professionalism and compassion.
mcd410x
Was there always a nurse ad on the left? Cause there is now. And it’s funny.
(Except the Haiti part, obv)
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
@eastriver:
lol!
Regarding my prior post, may I add
… in your mouth. Also. ;)
Tax Analyst
Whatever token or gift will probably be greatly appreciated (with certain exceptions, some of which have been suggested above). Just don’t tell them that you’ve put them in your will.
But on the level I like Annie’s idea @#110, and I go along with those who suggest a letter of appreciation to their shift supervisor.
RareSanity
@eastriver:
I have always been partial to ladies from the south…
Now that’s just mean spirited…and false…but, you are an angry New Yorker…you don’t know any better…
eastriver
@DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):
…(wiping away tears of laughter)
Oh, I never get tired of that cunning “also” at the end of an addendum. So witty. Each and every time. No matter how many times that joke is made, it’s always funny. Eternally. For ever and ever.
(cracking fingers, weary from typing so much dripping sarcasm)
eastriver
@RareSanity:
You find that Southern (ahem) Ladies like to be smacked on the ass? Okay, I’ll buy the women who work at Dollywood, cause they’re all hookers, sure. But the rest of them? After you do the smacking, do you give them rides in your spiffy time machine?
Tax Analyst
@arguingwithsignposts:
I seem to recall my cat did that once. But I don’t remember what my exact reaction was, and I never hit her.
I don’t recall that looking at her with a stern expression and wagging my finger at her ever produced anything but a slightly bored expression and a couple slow eye-blinks (I interpreted that as “WTF is wrong with the moe-ron this time?). but I do remember she didn’t do it again. She probably just found something that was more interesting to mangle and smack around.
Svensker
I tipped my husband once. He was just sitting there reading something on a little chair and looking silly and I got the irresistible urge to tump him over. So I did. It would have turned out hilarious except that he flailed when he went over, knocking the chair into me, which then tumped me over and I sprained my leg.
So I don’t do tipping anymore.
I recommend chocolates, bagels, coffee and a nice card. If there’s a single nurse you are sweet on, then a very special individual card for her. (I sure as hell HOPE there’s a single nurse you are sweet on.)
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
@eastriver:
I’m not paid to be funny. There’s a reason for that. ;)
Jane_in_Colorado
I understand the love for that special nurse. When I had a colon resection last summer, on the second night my IV blew out. Hand puffed up like a melon, my BP was 70/40, veins were collapsed, it didn’t look good. Turned out there was a nurse who was famous for always being able to find a vein, and the charge nurse went and got her. Her name was Sofi–I will never forget this woman. She took my right hand, tapped at it and spoke to it, and got a vein on the first try. No pain at all. I wept with gratitude. Sofi the vein whisperer. She was Indian, dark-skinned, almost like an Untouchable. But she had the mad skillz, and everyone knew it.
A gift of flowers or food for the nursing station is good. Singling out the nurse in question for any type of gift is problematic. But there will almost certainly be a survey after the fact–that’s the time to mention how good all the nursing care was (because in my experience it tends to be) and to mention that special nurse by name. Hospitals are extremely attentive to those surveys. It’s how they rate themselves. It will get into her personnel file, and that will be a Good Thing.
Take care and be well, John. I don’t often post but I read here every day. It’s a great blog and you should be proud.
RareSanity
@eastriver:
Yeah, we’re still trying to convince your parents not to procreate. I think we will after we get them understand the definition of the word…
LittleBit
@Max: I second this. Nurses always love food of any kind!
eastriver (aka Mister Muffins)
@DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):
Fair enough. Also.
eastriver
@RareSanity:
WTF? That doesn’t make any sense. Give the moonshine a rest, junior.
RareSanity
@eastriver:
Eat. A. Dick.
Does that make sense you knuckle dragging, mouth breathing knob jockey?
No joy in Mudville
There is no functional difference between tipping cash and a gift certificate.
Send a Thank You card and leave it at that, unless you want to acknowledge all of the nurses in that ward. Tipping a nurse is crass and inappropriate.
BDeevDad
When my daughter was in the NICU, my father-in-law, a hospital administrator, gave the head nurse $50 to buy some pizzas and we would bring in bagels and pastries. It was very much appreciated.
EL
Having worked in hospitals for years, edibles are always appreciated. And a card that expresses your sincere thanks is wonderful as well.
Carie
John, I have been a nurse for 29 years. In my opinion, it is more appropriate to send something that all the nurses and clerks on that unit can share. There are a lot of people behind the scenes who are working on your behalf who really appreciate being included. If you want to thank a particular nurse who helped you out a great deal, a note to her immediate supervisor will be placed in her permanent record and will also most likely be reflected in her/his annual evaluation. Flowers are not appropriate and usually small gifts of nominal value are limited to nurses who have taken care of a patient for a longer period of time where a bond has formed.
If you are interested in this nurse, and it kind of sounds like you may be, it is delicate, but there is nothing wrong with asking her privately if she wants to go out. I’ve known several nurses who have ended up married to a patient.
General Winfield Stuck
@Svensker: I was trying to come up with something witty along those lines with that def of tipping. couldn’t think of anything. Well Done!
Carrie
a href=”#comment-1558897″ rel=”nofollow”>Carie:
not me, btw….idunna rite nglish so gud, ya no?
am shur u alls rialize dat do, eh?
Carrie
@Carie: not me, btw….idunna rite nglish so gud, ya no?
am shur u alls rialize dat do, eh?
btw, i html suck too.
JL
A card and little gift is nice, but calling supervisors and praising your nurse’s care would go a long, long way.
Zuzu's Petals
@eastriver:
You are assuming they are all female. Ahem.
IndieTarheel
I read the title and giggled. Was that wrong?
arguingwithsignposts
@Carie:
So now we all need to get sick and go to hospital to pick up chicks? (joke)
Mum
@Max:
Having worked in nursing administration (although it’s been a while), I know that gifts of thanks were seldom given to individual nurses, and were not encouraged by the nursing administration. Something about team unity, I think. However, gifts to the unit and and even to the particular shift were OK. Flowers, gifts of food that the unit can share, etc. Nurses are professionals and like to be thought of in that way. You probably wouldn’t give a thank you gift to your doctor, unless he was a family friend. I think nurses like to be thought of in the same way.
Tagg
That’s not the same thing as cow tipping is it? (Too soon?)
Dr. Mantis Toboggan
Just drop a box of Magnum condoms on the floor and mention your Monster Dong. works every time
frankdawg81
As a kid I spent a lot of time in hospital, usually with adult room mates. My favorite roomie kept a bottle of expensive scotch in his drawer, chocolate and B&H cigarettes (they were imports at the time & very chi-chi). Nurses used to stop by in droves after their shift for a smoke & a bump. I never wanted for anything & there was hardly a second from call bell to attention. *SIGH* good times even though I was sliced from stem to stern.
They are a most under-appreciated group, you send them a card and anything (well maybe not flowers) and they will remember you fondly.
Angela
NO TIPPING. No gift certificate/card. Nothing of real monetary value. Nurses are well compensated professionals.
Flowers, food for the department to share, a nice thank you letter. Those would be awesome.
My favorite tip: Always wipe from front to back. But nurses probably know that.