Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

I was promised a recession.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Let’s finish the job.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Bark louder, little dog.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Everybody saw this coming.

After roe, women are no longer free.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

“woke” is the new caravan.

This fight is for everything.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

You are here: Home / Alarmed by the seduction

Alarmed by the seduction

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DPL is a round-heels, I guess:

Prepare to be Seduced by Madness [Jonah Goldberg]

This has been making the rounds on the interwebs. It is a two-fistfuls-of-fantastic theory that The Shining was in fact Stanley Kubrick’s confession to faking the Apollo moonlandings (while filming 2001: A Space Odyssey).

I think you’ll be surprised by just how crazy this is.

Reader Interactions

114Comments

  3. 3.

    Adam Collyer

    I can’t believe you got me to click through to the Corner for that.

    And I can’t believe that Jonah Goldberg is calling out the stupidity here. My head hurts.

  4. 4.

    Kryptik

    I’ve noted this elsewhere before, but I can always take heart in the fact that no matter how stupid politics gets, the stupidity will never measure up to that of moon hoaxers.

    Someone get these folks a copy of the Mythbuster’s Moon Hoax Myth eps, at the VERY least.

  5. 5.

    Morbo

    No, you can’t make me. No, you can’t make me. No, you can’t make me. Alright, fine. Oh, that’s all of the Corner article; I was expecting the crazy to be Jonah’s. You’re not exactly clear here; I think your second “this” is supposed to be Jonah’s “this” link but is still going to the NRO article instead. Maybe put that one in quotes?

  6. 6.

    FlipYrWhig

    Opening for the most traumatizing pr0n ever: Jonah Goldberg saying “Prepare to be seduced.”

    (BTW: “I wish that it would stop.”)

  7. 7.

    licensed to kill time

    Ok, I tried to read that Shining Secrets thing but it’s just too stupid. Just goes to show you can pull bizarre theories out of anything if you’re crazy enough. People are strange.

  11. 11.

    Blue Raven

    I have an aunt who is a moon landing denier. She watched the damn thing live and refuses to accept it as truth. But I’d like to think she’d refuse to accept that parcel of illogic as evidence. Of course, I have harbored my share of insane fantasies in the past.

  13. 13.

    Zam

    Man conspiracies make me laugh, has anyone seen the HAARP caused the Haiti earthquake yet? A friend of mine has been posting HAARP stuff all over facebook the last few weeks, I’m seriously considering finding him some help soon.

    On another conspiracy related note, my high school physics teacher used to get really upset every time someone tried the “moon landing was a hoax” line on him, so our class just rolled with it. I’m pretty certain he now believes that my entire graduating class has been duped by the crazies.

  14. 14.

    DougJ

    Google gave me roundheels, but wtf is DPL?

    An abbreviation of Jonah’s best-known internet nickname

  17. 17.

    Jim C

    @FlipYrWhig: What would be the perfect soundtrack for his [shudder] seduction scene?

    A Sousa March?
    Let The Eagle Soar?
    Lee Greenwood’s Greatest Hits?
    Something from the early Rush discography?

  18. 18.

    Morbo

    Also, boy, gotta love that the author of The Secrets of Alchemy denies that the moon landing took place. Man never set foot on the moon, but watch me turn lead into gold.

  20. 20.

    drew42

    I started to read it, settling in for some standard conspiracy fare. But the author kind of lost me on page 2, when he wrote:

    It was necessary to hide the advanced U.S. saucer technology from the Soviet Union.

    Stated so matter-of-factly, as if this is common knowledge.

  21. 21.

    The Ace Tomato Company

    This is my new favorite conspiracy theory. It’s so Dale Gribbel-esque. God bless this idiot.

  26. 26.

    Remember November

    yeah that LEM disengage from the main orbiter was a bitch to fake without CGI.
    /facepalm.

  28. 28.

    Shell

    “It is important to understand here that Jack and Danny are two aspects of Stanley Kubrick himself. … Jack, like Stanley has black hair,”

    Well, Hey. I’m convinced!

  30. 30.

    Michael

    OT, but it looks like Colorado has gone totally peak wingnut.

    http://coloradostatesman.com/content/991570-legislators-haggle-over-tax-exemptions

    Republican Senate candidate Cleve Tidwell asked the committee to withdraw all the bills under consideration. “Small business owners are scared of their government,” he said, asking if committee members had ever run their own businesses or taken a product to market. “If not, get out of the way of small business!”

    http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_14303473

    More than a third of the streetlights in Colorado Springs will go dark Monday. The police helicopters are for sale on the Internet. The city is dumping firefighting jobs, a vice team, burglary investigators, beat cops — dozens of police and fire positions will go unfilled.
    –
    The parks department removed trash cans last week, replacing them with signs urging users to pack out their own litter.
    –
    Neighbors are encouraged to bring their own lawn mowers to local green spaces, because parks workers will mow them only once every two weeks. If that.
    –
    Water cutbacks mean most parks will be dead, brown turf by July; the flower and fertilizer budget is zero.
    –
    City recreation centers, indoor and outdoor pools, and a handful of museums will close for good March 31 unless they find private funding to stay open. Buses no longer run on evenings and weekends. The city won’t pay for any street paving, relying instead on a regional authority that can meet only about 10 percent of the need.

    Read more: http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_14303473#ixzz0eJcSnEsc

    Have I mentioned how much I despise the whines, lies and general chickenshittedness of White Christian Male businessmen? Every time I read about fears of these stupid, greedy, worthless and lazy fuckers, my blood pressure shoots up.

    They embarrass me as a man and as an American.

  31. 31.

    The Ace Tomato Company

    Oh my god, it makes sense when you think about it!!!! Kubrick produced 2001 in 1968, which means he couldn’t have helped fake the subsequent missions. We know this because the subsequent missions (sequels if you will) were pretty much the same movie with a bit of extra needless drama (Apollo 13) and a lot better special effects (color, space dune buggies, etc).

    We are through the looking glass people…

  33. 33.

    Ash Can

    @Michael: Sounds like Colorado Springs done gone Galt. Right-wing paradise!

    If I were a public school teacher there I’d be packing up my car right now.

  34. 34.

    dr. bloor

    Have I mentioned how much I despise the whines, lies and general chickenshittedness of White Christian Male businessmen? Every time I read about fears of these stupid, greedy, worthless and lazy fuckers, my blood pressure shoots up.

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer place than Colorado Springs, though.

  35. 35.

    GregB

    I have it on authority that Buzz Aldrin was once married to Olive Oyl. Thus making the connection to Shelly Duvall complete.

    -G

  36. 36.

    Ash Can

    Oh crap, I just remembered that I have a cousin-in-law at U of C in Colorado Springs. Damn. I hope the campus has its own health and safety services and maintenance crew.

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    @dr. bloor:

    Have I mentioned how much I despise the whines, lies and general chickenshittedness of White Christian Male businessmen? Every time I read about fears of these stupid, greedy, worthless and lazy fuckers, my blood pressure shoots up.
    Couldn’t happen to a nicer place than Colorado Springs, though.

    So, Ted Haggard’s a fair example of the local “small bidness” talent there?

  38. 38.

    Michael

    Oh crap, I just remembered that I have a cousin-in-law at U of C in Colorado Springs. Damn. I hope the campus has its own health and safety services and maintenance crew.

    All well and good, but CO is apparently trying to go Full Metal Teabagger in a race to not fund things like that. Fiscal responsibility dictated from behind the walls of gated communities, y’know, aided by the idiot rumblings of blue skinned glibertarian brownshirts.

    We’re at a mighty dangerous fork in the road. The purpose of the teaparties was never clearer – obfuscate and distract – and they were wildly successful at switching the narrative and making it impossible for messaging.

  40. 40.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    I can always take heart in the fact that no matter how stupid politics gets, the stupidity will never measure up to that of moon hoaxers.

    Is denying the moon landings dumber than denying evolution? Heck, Rudy Giuliani–Rudy Giuliani–is now going around saying there were no terrorist attacks on the USA while Bush was president.

  41. 41.

    me

    The city won’t pay for any street paving, relying instead on a regional authority that can meet only about 10 percent of the need.

    This reminds me of SimCity 2000 on the screen where you apportion the tax revenue, “You’ll regret that!”.

  43. 43.

    PanAmerican

    It reads like a failed parody of those who finger paint with Kubrick’s cinematic droppings.

    ….the subtext in The Shining is the extermination of the natives….. the danger of the artistic endeavor driven by greed…blah, blah, blah…

    The cult of Kubrick can’t allow for some of his movies being suck. There is some dazzling technical work and great scenery chewing but the sum of The Shining is a mediocre movie.

  44. 44.

    Mike in NC

    More than a third of the streetlights in Colorado Springs will go dark Monday.

    That’s Ground Zero for the fundamentalist Christian persuasion. They don’t need no stinkin’ streetlights if they can use their burning bushes.

  45. 45.

    EEH

    Back when they were having the contest to design Colorado’s state quarter, one person wrote in that the slogan on the coin should read “Colorado, the Mississippi of the West.” Sadly, we look to be well on our way to achieving that status.

  46. 46.

    Mike in NC

    Rudy Giuliani—Rudy Giuliani—is now going around saying there were no terrorist attacks on the USA while Bush was president.

    It’s the truth, and there were also no terrorist attacks while Rudy was mayor of NYC. He told me so himself!

  47. 47.

    Pasquinade

    Grover Norquist must be getting tingles down his leg at the thought of the Colorado Springs city government being “drowned in a bathtub”. Will he hold it up as an example for the federal government?

    One commenter on the Denver Post story posted that the property tax is only $78 per $100,000, and the voters voted down a tax hike. If true, then they deserve the coming misery.

  48. 48.

    Michael

    That’s Ground Zero for the fundamentalist Christian persuasion. They don’t need no stinkin’ streetlights if they can use their burning bushes.

    Nah – burning witches.

    This is where I complain, once more, about Nero’s lousy work ethic and the foolish policy of overfeeding lions before showing them off in the Coliseum.

  50. 50.

    Michael

    One commenter on the Denver Post story posted that the property tax is only $78 per $100,000, and the voters voted down a tax hike. If true, then they deserve the coming misery.

    It makes me want to buy a shitload of spray paint and head out to the Springs. I’m betting I could tag not only some of the nicer spots in Garden of the Gods, but also every government building and police headquarters in the middle of the night.

    After that, I go window popping at all the better establishments.

  51. 51.

    kay

    @Mike in NC:

    Colorado Springs has a high crime rate.

    Call me crazy, but shuttered libraries, locked day care centers, closed senior centers, drained swimming pools, parks with dead grass and empty flower beds and dark streets are not going to help that situation. The only people that are going to be out and about are criminals.

    They better hire some more cops, with all the money they save.

  52. 52.

    Ed Drone

    As I understand it, the plan is to preserve one bathtub-sized vessel in the park, so the city government can have their meetings in it.

    Ed

  53. 53.

    Bruce (formerly Steve S.)

    The cult of Kubrick can’t allow for some of his movies being suck. There is some dazzling technical work and great scenery chewing but the sum of The Shining is a mediocre movie.

    I partially agree with this. The Shining is definitely far down my personal Kubrick list, though I wouldn’t go so far as to use the word “mediocre.”

  54. 54.

    Mike in NC

    We’re at a mighty dangerous fork in the road. The purpose of the teaparties was never clearer – obfuscate and distract – and they were wildly successful at switching the narrative and making it impossible for messaging.

    The MSM is ready to declare 2010 to be the Year of the Tea Party Lunatics Patriots. You see, these non-partisan Real Americans are going to rise up and launch a tsunami of anti-incumbent rage against the Kenyan Kommunist and his minions in Washington, who are out to steal our freedoms and cram blah blah blah down our throats. Roger Ailes and Faux Noise thank you for listening.

  55. 55.

    Bubblegum Tate

    @dr. bloor:

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer place than Colorado Springs, though.

    My sentiments exactly. Let them Galt themselves back to the stone age for all I care.

  58. 58.

    Martin

    How long before Colorado Springs turns into the US Horn of Africa, with tandem trailers getting hijacked by fundamentalists in Toyota pickups on I-25? I’m envisioning a mashup of the Road Warrior and Deathrace 2000, but all buttered up with Jesus and Ayn Rand.

  59. 59.

    Sly

    @PanAmerican:

    The cult of Kubrick can’t allow for some of his movies being suck. There is some dazzling technical work and great scenery chewing but the sum of The Shining is a mediocre movie.

    You can rag on The Shining all you want. But the moment you start in on Doctor Strangelove, there’s gonna be some fighting in the War Room.

  61. 61.

    Svensker

    @skippy:

    David calls the few “ruling elite” at the top of the pyramid REPTILIANS! David sounds sometimes reluctant to talk about the Reptilians and for good reason; most people would think he is nuts and talking like this could negate and cause people to not take his other writing seriously.

    Really? Do tell.

    Aye yai yai. These people son muy locos.

  62. 62.

    The Moar You Know

    I hope one day we get to find out who Chunky Reese Witherspoon was, and that someone can get the revolver out of her mouth quickly and remind her that we all at some point in our lives have made a terrible, terrible mistake.

  63. 63.

    Michael

    How long before Colorado Springs turns into the US Horn of Africa, with tandem trailers getting hijacked by fundamentalists in Toyota pickups on I-25? I’m envisioning a mashup of the Road Warrior and Deathrace 2000, but all buttered up with Jesus and Ayn Rand.

    Thunderdome, with the addition of prayers.

    And smoking, lots and lots of smoking.

  64. 64.

    dr. bloor

    @Mike in NC:

    Roger Ailes and Faux Noise thank you for listening.

    Not just Ailes by a long shot. This was pretty much the takeaway point of Talk of the Nation this afternoon, where Vin Weber’s opinions were countered by Ron Elving’s pathological balancing act and Neal Conan’s bobbleheaded hosting.

  65. 65.

    Slattenpat

    It’s amusing how the (ahem) “Moon Hoaxers” only seem to base their frothing insanity on analysis of a few clips and photographs, when there is over 6 Million feet of film footage of the entire process leading up to the moon landing.

    They could watch some of it in the excellent documentary For All Mankind (1989)

    Synopsis: Director-journalist Al Reinert sifted through 6 million feet of film and 80 hours of interviews with astronauts to deliver a dazzling, Oscar-nominated documentary chronicling the American space program and its rush to put a man on the moon. With Brian Eno’s atmospheric score, the film uncovers vibrant, never-before-seen footage of the space race, which ended in 1969 when Apollo 11 fulfilled President John F. Kennedy’s challenge to NASA.

    “…But… but… look at the shadows on this one photograph!”

    Oh? You mean the stuff that was debunked on Mythbusters – Season 6, Episode 11: NASA Moon Landing Hoax? Yeah, get some professional psychological help, “hoaxer.”

  68. 68.

    Splitting Image

    You can rag on The Shining all you want. But the moment you start in on Doctor Strangelove, there’s gonna be some fighting in the War Room.

    The Shining is to Dr. Strangelove as Ringo is to the rest of the Beatles.

  69. 69.

    Tazistan Jen

    @Michael:

    OT, but it looks like Colorado has gone totally peak wingnut.

    I’ve got to stand up for Colorado a little bit here. This state kicked out the crazies – now the Governor, state senate, state house, both fed senators and 5 of 7 fed reps are all Dems. And it was directly related to fed-up-edness with the Republicans’ obsession with social conservatism instead of running the state.

    What is killing us here is the initiative system. A law called TABOR (tax payers bill of rights) passed by a direct vote in the 90’s. It mandates that every tax increase has to be passed by the voters. It also includes what is called the ratchet – government spending can only go up a certain amount each year, and if spending goes down one year (say in a recession) the base amount ratchets down.

    So we have to have constant votes to get people to raise their own taxes, and they have to vote to let the government spend it even if they can raise it. People vote to tax themselves more often than you would think (though it takes a huge education and persuasion campaign every time) but it takes a couple of years to get something on the ballot and then have the vote and then implement it.

    Colorado Springs is in even worse shape because they won’t even vote to raise their own taxes when they clearly need to. But Colorado as a whole isn’t that bad.

  70. 70.

    Svensker

    @Splitting Image:

    The Shining is to Dr. Strangelove as Ringo is to the rest of the Beatles.

    Aw, come on. At least Ringo was cute and friendly in an ugly puppy kind of way. The Shining was just a flat out stinkeroo.

  72. 72.

    Michael

    So you’re saying that Colorado is going the route of California.

    This from the Great Orange Satan, alternatively titled “Norquist’s Baby”:

    **************************************
    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/2/1/832797/-Poem(ish):-An-Ode-to-Colorado-Springs

    It’s just one of those things
    In Colorado Springs
    The city is falling apart.
    They woke up today,
    Full of dismay,
    To garbage-strewn fields in the park.

    ‘Twas some years ago
    Saw the ol’ right wing grow
    Angry, and righteous they marched
    “The Budget’s the rub!”
    (Waving bags full of tea)
    “Come along, follow me!
    “We’ll drown this whole lot in the tub!”

    Old Grover, he grinned
    To be sure, ‘twas a win.
    “Let the Government shrinking begin!”

    And it did.

    The mil rate stayed flat,
    The city in black,
    Boats riding the tide,
    Bubble growing in size,
    The horizon seemed endlessly blue.
    Each year little retreats
    Smug posts on their re-tweets
    On the surface the doctrine seemed true.
    As the naughts rolled along,
    They crowed out their song:
    “We have us a winner!
    “Free lunch, lavish dinner
    “Norquist, we owe it to you!”

    Then,
    POP!
    That was that.
    The bubble went flat.
    And suddenly, revenue too.

    But not costs.
    No, they didn’t.

    Roads still must be laid
    Clerks and teachers get paid
    As well as the boys in the Blue.
    The plans came undone
    As they ran out of funds,
    It looks to have started a fight:

    You’ll pay for it later
    If you enact TABOR,
    You’ll be out of the the money for lights.

  77. 77.

    Evinfuilt

    @Michael:

    My parents moved to the Springs. I’m so happy for them, they’re finally getting to live their dream of no Government interference.

    Its not like they needed light, police, firefighters, etc…

    From here on, when someone wants to go Galt, point to Colorado Springs, the city went Galt and has Focus on the Family headquarters too, its Tea Partier paradise (too bad its also frickin beautiful, but somehow they’ll ruin it.)

    Be thankful Pikes Peak isn’t controlled by local interests.

  78. 78.

    licensed to kill time

    Boy, Balloon Juice is acting crazy for me today. Server up, server down, lost the edit function a week ago and it’s still dead – what’s happening with the site upgrade? Is everything on hold while John recuperates or what? I’m alarmed by the malfunction!

  79. 79.

    Evinfuilt

    @kay:

    Too bad they’re laying off Beat Cops, selling the choppers and of course hiring freeze and laying off additional firemen and detectives and…

    Oh and its not exactly a wet climate and they’ve sold off a lot of their water rights to California and Arizona. You could easily get an out of control city fire like we haven’t seen in a hundred years, and this will be the place.

  80. 80.

    Alex S.

    @Michael:

    That reminds me of the South Park episode “Margaritaville”. They all are praying for the economy to recover and hope that Hoover-economics will save them.

  81. 81.

    Svensker

    Re Colorado Springs — the article linked to on GOS has comments, and one of the commenters explains that the city council of C.S. is SOCKALIST! ! ! because they are tricking the citizens by cutting their services and then they will RAISE TAXES and commie flub flub muslim omg Young Pioneers!

  82. 82.

    blahblahblah

    My God, the idiot even argues that Kubrick ruined a great Stephen King story. Since Stephen King _did_ remake The Shining into a spectacular shit-fest miniseries, we all can compare the difference between a great story teller and filmmaker vs. the two-bit hack.

    Teh crazy prefers the two-bit hack.

    Surprised?

  83. 83.

    twiffer

    @Kryptik: no, no…the fact that the mythbusters were able to replicate certain shots to debunk then PROVES the moon landing was faked. obviously. i mean, fuck, it’s the moon…that’s like, far away. and the aliens who secretly control the zionist illuminati bankers (and are battling the rosicrusians AS WE SPEAK) would never let us land there and steal all their delicious cheese.

  85. 85.

    Cassidy

    It’s a good thing I decided to move into housing, instead of buying a house. My next assignment is Fort Carson.

    And Kubrick is over-rated crap. Because of him, we have to deal with the pretentiousness of people like Wes Anderson.

  86. 86.

    MikeJ

    @Tazistan Jen:

    What is killing us here is the initiative system. A law called TABOR (tax payers bill of rights) passed by a direct vote in the 90’s. It mandates that every tax increase has to be passed by the voters.

    Your bad example sure helped us here in Washington. They tried the same idiotic initiative here and everybody just said, “look at Colorado.”

  87. 87.

    jager

    The tax rate in Colorado Springs is 78 bucks per 100,000 dollars evaluation and houses there are not that expensive. Even a wingnut fundie should realize that paying about 150 bucks a year for cops, firefighters, parks, swimming pools and god damned streetlights is cheap at 10 times the price!

  88. 88.

    The Moar You Know

    What is killing us here is the initiative system.

    @Tazistan Jen: Same story in California.

    It turns out that the founding Fathers and every historian since Rome no one could have predicted that allowing the voters the ability to directly write legislation would result in a flood of bread and circuses, to be paid for by someone else’s kids at some indeterminate point in the future.

  89. 89.

    J. Michael Neal

    I love the idiot small businessman from Colorado Springs going on about how city employees are overpaid. It costs the city $89,000 annually per employee, he claims, while it only costs me $24,000. Clearly, the city isn’t doing enough to screw its workers.

    Let’s break this down:

    1) I’d love to know if he’s making an apples-to-apples comparison. My bet is that he’s taking the average cost for the city to employ someone with what he pays in wages to his average employee. If I’m right, count them the same way, and the difference would be less.

    2) Has he included himself in that average? I’m betting that the figure for the city includes everyone that could be considered top management, but that the figure for his company does not. How does that change the average?

    3) How many of his employees are part-time? My guess is that his advocacy for seasonal employees means that the percentage is fairly high. Dividing the work up among more people will drive down the average cost, while not doing so much for total payroll.

    4) $24,000 per year? Really? What kind of business is this, and do people really want their city to be run by people paid like fast food employees? Yeah, I want my kids (if I had any) taught by someone making $500 a week, just like I want to give minimum wage workers carrying guns and authroized to fire them at anyone they think is a threat.

    Fucking moron. If I ever have to drive through Colorado Springs, I’m locking the doors, rolling up the windows, and not slowing down enough to be an easy target.

  90. 90.

    Jeff

    The Shining is to Dr. Strangelove as Ringo is to the rest of the Beatles.

    You mean that The Shing is more talented than most of Dr Strangelove, but prefers to have fun? (Compare Ringo’s All-Star band to ANYTHING from McCartney, or most of Harrison’s works.)

    Poor Ringo — he always gets short-shrift.

  92. 92.

    Colette

    @twiffer: Zionist Illuminati Bankers could be a good name for a band.

    I ran into one of these moon-landing deniers at summer camp last year, and I regret to say that I spent a good 45 minutes trying to talk sense into him before realizing that it was a waste of oxygen. Among other things, he was absolutely convinced of the scientifically-proven validity of his ideas while being unable to understand that there are different types of radiation.

    The best part? He’s a teacher in the San Franciso public schools. (Not my kid’s school, thank doG.)

  93. 93.

    harlana peppper

    Kubrick overrated? It takes a lot of balls to say that with all the unimaginative, predictable crap Hollywood turns out these days.

  94. 94.

    MikeJ

    nd the aliens who secretly control the zionist illuminati bankers (and are battling the rosicrusians AS WE SPEAK) would never let us land there and steal all their delicious cheese.

    Raaaaaahm!

  95. 95.

    Caradoc

    Damn if I haven’t read this somewhere before. There’s a similar theory with George Lucas getting the contract. (I’d love to see the Ridley Scott version.)

  97. 97.

    Wile E. Quixote

    From the crazy.

    A cold winter storm has now blown over the Hotel. The oncoming storm is a symbol of the Cold War between Russia and the United States. Of course the Cold War is also one of the driving forces for the entire reason for faking the moon landings. It was necessary to hide the advanced U.S. saucer technology from the Soviet Union. We were living in a very dangerous world and it was shrewd to hide our advanced technology from the Russians. This is the reason for the bears that are seen all over The Shining. The Russian Bear, and its competition for the race to the Moon, was a driving force behind having to fake the Apollo Moon landings.

    “advanced U.S. saucer technology”. If we had “advanced saucer technology” then why the fuck did we go through all of the effort to fake the moon landings, which included building some absolutely huge fucking rockets and launching them into space (unless that was faked too, perhaps with the world’s largest green screen) and why would we keep it a secret? Seriously, if we’d had “advanced saucer technology”, whatever that means, I think that Johnson would have been on the phone to Brezhnev saying “Who’s your daddy, Leonid? Who’s your American daddy with advanced saucer technology? I’m your fucking daddy! Now bend over, grab your ankles and withdraw all of your troops from Eastern Europe and stop supporting the North Vietnamese.” If we’d had “advanced saucer technology” Curtis LeMay would have said “Fuck the B-70 and the YF-12! I want a USAF saucer wing deployed by the end of 1964.”

    Now all of these conspiracy nuts posit the existence of some huge and scary conspiracy that would, if someone like Curtis LeMay found out about the advanced saucer technology, intimidate them into silence. That might work with some people but with Curtis LeMay? Come on, the guy was willing to turn the Soviet Union and China into radioactive slag. This is the guy who wanted to put 20 megaton bombs on the B-52 and to be able to drop 3 or 4 of them on each target in Russia. This is the guy who flew a shitload of missions over Germany during the Second World War. He’s not someone who could be easily intimidated. I don’t think that Lyndon Johnson would have been intimidated either. “Mr President, we have this advanced saucer technology that is so powerful that if we revealed it to the Soviet Union and threatened to use it they’d have to stand down or face certain annihilation. But even though Vietnam is turning into a quagmire and is going to cost you a second term, and even though this saucer technology would force the Soviets to stand down in Vietnam and come to the negotiation table, you can’t ever reveal this to anyone. You’ll just have to go down in history as a huge failure who pushed the United States into an unwinnable war and retire in disgrace to your ranch in Texas.”

    Why don’t these people ever ask questions like this.

  98. 98.

    gnomedad

    @Slattenpat:

    It’s amusing how the (ahem) “Moon Hoaxers” only seem to base their frothing insanity on analysis of a few clips and photographs, when there is over 6 Million feet of film footage of the entire process leading up to the moon landing.

    Hey, that’s fake, too. Just a warmup for faking climate data.

  99. 99.

    Origuy

    @Michael: Leave the Garden of the Gods alone, maybe the state will take it over. However, with all those streetlights out, someone could make a tidy sum digging up the electric wires and selling the copper.

    Tag the USOC headquarters if you want.

  100. 100.

    Origuy

    Oh, in that vein, how long before this gets vandalized?

    The Air Force Academy in Colorado has set up an outdoor worship area for followers of Wicca, Druidism and other Earth-centered religions.
    __
    A double circle of stones atop a hill on the campus near Colorado Springs has been designated for cadets and other service personnel in the area to practice Earth-centered faiths.

  101. 101.

    Wile E. Quixote

    Community business leaders have jumped into the budget debate, some questioning city spending on what they see as “Ferrari”-level benefits for employees and high salaries in middle management. Broadmoor luxury resort chief executive Steve Bartolin wrote an open letter asking why the city spends $89,000 per employee, when his enterprise has a similar number of workers and spends only $24,000 on each.
    __
    Businessman Fowler, saying he is now speaking for the task force Bartolin supports, said the city should study the Broadmoor’s use of seasonal employees and realistic manager pay.

    I’d like someone to tell the community business leaders that they’re full of shit. Seriously, Steve Bartolin should be dragged out of his office and beaten to death with a sledgehammer for asking this question because he’s either stupid, disingenuous or both. He’s running a fucking hotel. What do you need to run a hotel? You need a bunch of minimum wage employees who need minimal training because let’s face it, checking people in and out, cleaning rooms and putting those little bands on the toilet seat that tell me that it’s been sanitized for my protection isn’t that fucking hard. I did this sort of thing one summer and the hardest thing about it was dealing with the boredom. Oh, and I’d be willing to bet that Steve Bartolin and the Broadmoor are saving lots of money on labor by hiring illegals.

    As far as “realistic manager pay” yeah, that’s a good one too. I wonder how much Steve Bartolin makes? I can’t see as you’d need to pay him that much, all he needs to do is manage a staff of minimally trained employees who have very simple jobs. It’s not exactly rocket science, or even “faking a moon landing” science.

  102. 102.

    Wile E. Quixote

    Another item from the articles on the Colorado Crazy

    Betty Jean Beall, of Adams County, accused lawmakers of stealing money from her grandchildren, saying because they had canceled the senior tax exemption she could no longer afford to give them birthday presents. “You’ve taken enough of my blood and my money,” she said angrily. “You will stop these increased taxes!… You’re trying to go around TABOR and you’d better not!”

    I wish that someone had stood up and said “Are you collecting Social Security or Medicare? If you are then you’re taking someone elses blood and money. So why don’t you shut the fuck up before we come over there and break both of your hips?”. Jesus I hope I don’t become a greedy old fuck like that.

  104. 104.

    Seanly

    Just for that I am going to watch all of my Stanley Kubrick DVDs in chronological order!

    Lolita was Kubrick apologizing for blowing up the Challenger using Tralfamadore technology to go back in time. Or was he moving forward in time?

    I loves me some crazy!

  105. 105.

    Mike in NC

    You’ll just have to go down in history as a huge failure who pushed the United States into an unwinnable war and retire in disgrace to your ranch in Texas.

    What exactly is Dubya up to these days, anyway? On second thought, who gives a shit?

  106. 106.

    Mike in NC

    I am going to watch all of my Stanley Kubrick DVDs in chronological order!

    Didn’t Kubrick die of shame shortly after they released “Eyes Wide Shut”?

  107. 107.

    EEH

    @Wile E. Quixote: It’s really worse than that. The senior exemption that she’s all worked up about is this:

    For those who qualify, 50 percent of the first $200,000 of actual value of the property is exempted. The state will pay the exempted property tax. The exemption is effective January 1, 2003 and the exemption affects property taxes billed in 2004. If you own multiple residences, only one can be designated as your primary residence.

    In other words, she wants the state to keep on paying for a chunk of her property taxes from a fund that was created for the purpose, only the state now doesn’t have the money. Meanwhile, the rest of us have to keep on paying our full share of property taxes.

  108. 108.

    Splitting Image

    In other words, she wants the state to keep on paying for a chunk of her property taxes from a fund that was created for the purpose, only the state now doesn’t have the money. Meanwhile, the rest of us have to keep on paying our full share of property taxes.

    The sad thing is, she’s a perfect example of why government entitlement programs can be dangerous. Trying to get someone like her to give up a benefit of any kind is problematic whether it’s affordable or not and whether it’s needed or not.

    The teabaggers are living proof that America needs a Tea Party movement.

  109. 109.

    Zach

    Someone wrote an entire book on coded messages within 2001 back in the day, 2001: A Triple Allegory … from what I remember from reading review almost 10 years ago, it’s no less crazy than this.

    I have a degree in cinema studies; it was fantastically fun because you basically make up whatever you want (a picture’s worth a thousand words, so 1000 * 24 frames/second * 3600 seconds/hour * 2 hours = about 200 million possible words) no matter how ridiculous. This conclusion isn’t any less justified than most film theory, it just sounds more ridiculous and avoids jargon.

  111. 111.

    davidbaer

    The Center for Media Research has released a study by Vertical Response that shows just where many of these ‘Main Street’ players are going with their online dollars. The big winners: e-mail and social media. With only 3.8% of small business folks NOT planning on using e-mail marketing and with social media carrying the perception of being free (which they so rudely discover it is far from free) this should make some in the banner and search crowd a little wary.

    http://www.onlineuniversalwork.com

  112. 112.

    Remember November

    I think we need to repeal the Homesteader Act and get Fl and Texas to cough up a few bucks for Colorado.

  114. 114.

    Matthew B.

    And Kubrick is over-rated crap. Because of him, we have to deal with the pretentiousness of people like Wes Anderson.

    Whaa? I guess they both like symmetrical framing, but I’m really not seeing the resemblance otherwise.

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