• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Let me file that under fuck it.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Come on, man.

“Just close your eyes and kiss the girl and go where the tilt-a-whirl takes you.” ~OzarkHillbilly

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

This blog will pay for itself.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Mobile Menu

  • 4 Directions VA 2025 Raffle
  • 2025 Activism
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Get Well Soon

Get Well Soon

by John Cole|  February 4, 201012:19 pm| 133 Comments

This post is in: Blogospheric Navel-Gazing

FacebookTweetEmail

Jim Treacher got hit by an SVU and broke his knee, and while I don’t really have anything nice to say about his politics, after what I’ve been through the last couple of weeks, I hope he gets well soon. Pain like this sucks. On the other hand, this is going to be the next conspiracy:

One last thing: I’m told by multiple people that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service. If this is true, I want to know why that happened. I was crossing legally, and they just left me there. At the very least, I want an apology. What happened to me was wrong.

I give it an hour before Breitbart is accusing Rahmbama of trying to run over his critics. Chicago style politics! Who else has the Kenyan Killer run over? Cue the Obama death list.

*** Update ***

Should have read the comments. It has already started:

This is what happens when you’re critical of a socialist leader and his polices. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. You’ll have participated in several marathons before you get an apology from this bunch.

***

It’s the Chicago way. It’s called a drive by. Barry and Big Sis are watching ya.

LOLS.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « When wingers attack
Next Post: Pet Maintenance Question »

Reader Interactions

133Comments

  1. 1.

    TenguPhule

    February 4, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    I give it an hour before Breitbart is accusing Rahmbama of trying to run over his critics.

    Unpossible! Everyone knows teh Liberals refuse to drive fuel hog SUVs!

  2. 2.

    thomas Levenson

    February 4, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    I lost two cats to cars over the last eleven years. Now I know who to blame.

    Can I haz wingnut welfare now?

  3. 3.

    IndieTarheel

    February 4, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Jim Treacher got hit by an SVU

    Was it Stabler, Benson, or both?

  4. 4.

    ppcli

    February 4, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Just wait until the FDL crowd turn this into an Obama negative in the other direction. Obama’s sold out the right wing! Spineless centrist. You can just bet that if *Cheney* had targeted this guy, he wouldn’t still be alive to tell the tale….

  5. 5.

    Martin

    February 4, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Nigga ran him down with his Escalade! Drop the crack pipe Barry and where the fuck is that birth certificate or are you driving illegally too?

    (On a serious note, I too hope Jim has a quick recovery and they sort out what happened here.)

  6. 6.

    El Cid

    February 4, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    The Obama Mau Mau war begins.

  7. 7.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 4, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    What’s really stunning is that they sincerely believe this D-Lister is on somebody’s radar as a threat (“are we really that small a sliver of the party?”).
    And of course best wishes for a speedy recovery to this person who if memory serves recently got hired as a stringer on C-Lister TrustFundBaby Tucker Carlson’s latest wingnut welfare experiment.

  8. 8.

    Ash

    February 4, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    I wonder what kind of rims were on that thing? It’s the only way to verify if it truly was Barry’s ride or not. Somone call up Xzibit.

  9. 9.

    Zuzu's Petals

    February 4, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I have a friend who is blind, walks with a white cane. He was crossing the street with the signal one rainy twilight when he was knocked down by an SUV. The driver called out for him to try to get to the curb. Then he drove away.

    Really, is there anyone more despicable that someone who would knock down an obviously blind man and then drive off?

    My friend had a broken knee and was wheelchair bound for some time. As someone who was dependent on public transportation, this must have made life living heck that whole time.

  10. 10.

    norbizness

    February 4, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    After reading the Rahm comment thread, I suddenly developed a great deal of sympathy towards commentless blogs. After reading this post, I’m now behind blogless internets.

  11. 11.

    demo woman

    February 4, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    John, How did the dr.’s appt. go?

  12. 12.

    Matt

    February 4, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    A couple of things:

    I lay there screaming and cursing for I don’t know how long, and a crowd of people gathered and told me to hold still…I almost passed out twice from the pain.

    First of all, I thought Republicans were tough guys. Shouldn’t he be gritting his teeth and refusing to make a sound or let tears well in his eyes, lest others think him weak?

    Second, when do we hear the GREATEST HEALTH CARE IN THE WORLD meme?

  13. 13.

    eastriver

    February 4, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    If it was an Escalade, I hope Treacher has a Cadillac heath insurance plan. (rim shot)

  14. 14.

    Zuzu's Petals

    February 4, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    And of course best wishes for a speedy recovery to this person who if memory serves recently got hired as a stringer on C-Lister TrustFundBaby Tucker Carlson’s latest wingnut welfare experiment.

    Let’s hope Carlson spent some of that welfare $ on employee health insurance.

  15. 15.

    bemused

    February 4, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    They’re so predictable.

  16. 16.

    JGabriel

    February 4, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Nothing will build up the credibility of The Carlson Pest as quickly as a columnist who starts conspiracy theories that the Secret Service is attacking him. Look at how well it worked for Ross Perot!

    .

  17. 17.

    28 Percent

    February 4, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    John Cole if that is your real name it is shamefult he way you and this “Treacher” fellow are putting down suvs what is your problem anyway huh? with other people havings something NICE. It is not enough that you have to live off of others now you are jealous that you do not have a nice car so you try to tak ethem away from everybody else and make them all drive LeCars or something because you do not like it that they do not give in and give up they’re FREE SPEECH by driving a LIEBERAL-APPROVED sub-compact. This is a DEATH BUBBLE PANEL and it will not stand. We will TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK and you will not be able to stop us because you’re electric Gore-mobiels only have a 50 mile range LOL!

  18. 18.

    southpaw

    February 4, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    It’s the Chicago way. It’s called a drive by.

    I’m from L.A., but . . . YOU’RE DOIN IT WRONG!

  19. 19.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    February 4, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    No way this was the Secret Service. He would be dead. Now if the claim was the CIA did it I might buy it. That would make a lot more sense …

  20. 20.

    John Cole

    February 4, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    @demo woman: Very well- the x-rays show my shoulder healing nicely, no hairline fracture in my knee (just a messed up bursa sac or something), he says my range of motion is really good and that using my ice machine for basically 12 hours every day has really helped (apparently most people hate icing their injuries- for me it is a godsend, but I played sports for 20+ years and like ice), and they took my sutures out. I am allowed to shower tomorrow when the suture holes fill up, I need to keep my arm in my brace and not overdo it, I can start using the hot tub in a week, I need to keep going to rehab and see him in a month, and I can start riding the exercise bike and walking long distances on the treadmill Monday.

    I’m pretty psyched.

  21. 21.

    JGabriel

    February 4, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    @28 Percent: You are one of my favorite pseudo-trolls.

    You really have to change your handle, though. By now, everyone knows you’re a faux-con.

    .

  22. 22.

    toujoursdan

    February 4, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    @28 Percent: Brilliant spoof.

  23. 23.

    John Cole

    February 4, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    I thought Republicans were tough guys.

    Real men pop their broken bones back into place themselves and then drive themselves to the hospital. Or so I am told.

    Or maybe that is real idiots.

  24. 24.

    freelancer

    February 4, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Jim Treacher got hit by an SVU

    Mariska Hargitay is teh ebil Hollywood Lib! I knew it. Y @Blumenthal NOT reportg THS?! Details 2 come. @Det. Benson, Retracto gnaws UR @ass!

  25. 25.

    satby

    February 4, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Chicago drive-bys are done with guns; they can’t even get their slander straight.
    And I’m sick of them slandering my city.

  26. 26.

    ThresherK

    February 4, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    Real men pop their broken bones back into place themselves and then drive themselves to the hospital.

    You lost me at “real men” and “hospital”.

    Real men make a sling from branches and strips of what used to be a shirtsleeve, and the bone gets better cos it knows what’s good for it.

  27. 27.

    fraught

    February 4, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    Treacher is sadly lacking in imagination about how political hits are done. In his fantasies, everyone in the SS drives a big black limo and bumps you off as you’re crossing a crowded street. Why would anyone want to x a humor columnist for a blog that noone reads?
    Next he’ll be imagining someone coming up behind him in the subway and jabbing him with a hypo full of poison truth serum.

  28. 28.

    Woodbuster

    February 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    I’m sorry, but if this gasbag is actually stupid enough to believe the Secret Service ran him down, then whoever it was should have backed up and gotten the job done. Amateurs!

  29. 29.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    February 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    I’m told by multiple people* that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service…

    Well… that certainly cinches it… clearly, it was a bungled hit by the Admin… perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to paint those hammer and sickles on all govt vehicles after all.

    *Somebody needs to check and make sure those ‘multiple people’ AREN’T Breitbart, Beck, Limbaugh, etc, etc… just sayin’…

  30. 30.

    Joel

    February 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    It’s the Chicago way. It’s called a drive by. Barry and Big Sis are watching ya.

    Maybe he got run over by Bubb Rubb and ‘Lil Sis.

  31. 31.

    Church Lady

    February 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Wouldn’t really surprise me if it was the Secret Service – hasn’t Biden’s detail already run over and killed someone?

  32. 32.

    slag

    February 4, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    @John Cole: I’d be surprised if your doctors didn’t yell at you for that little doorknob maneuver. It sounds like just the kind of thing they’d be against. Hippocratic Fascists.

  33. 33.

    me

    February 4, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    First of all, I thought Republicans were tough guys. Shouldn’t he be gritting his teeth and refusing to make a sound or let tears well in his eyes, lest others think him weak?

    Don’t you see? Now he knows the pain of and can speak for soldiers in the field. It’s like he’s been in the shit.

  34. 34.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    February 4, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    @fraught:

    Why would anyone want to x someone desperately pretending to be a humor columnist for a blog that no one reads?

    There… more accurate that way… no?

  35. 35.

    Bill Rutherford, Princeton Admissions

    February 4, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Wouldn’t really surprise me if it was the Secret Service – hasn’t Biden’s detail already run over and killed someone?

    If they had, they’re now tied with Laura Bush.

  36. 36.

    matt

    February 4, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    I thought the president got 3 blame free murders each term as part of the presidential benefits package.

  37. 37.

    slag

    February 4, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    @matt: He’s starting pretty small then. Would you use up one of your murders on that guy?

  38. 38.

    brantl

    February 4, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    I wouldn’t use one of my hits on this guy. You could put Preparation H on his chair, he’d vanish and you could claim it was an accident.

  39. 39.

    Jay B.

    February 4, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Oy. It’s bad enough when conservatives try and shoehorn poltical rightthink into movies and cultural debates — but now even the traffic has the wrong politics.

    Anyway, I hope he lives, but even more than his politics, he just seems like a giant douche.

  40. 40.

    MattF

    February 4, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Hey, how come nobody seems to care about the jack-booted black helicopter blah blah blah any more? Or whatever.

  41. 41.

    Citizen_X

    February 4, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    I’m told by multiple people that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service.

    Excuse me, but how the hell does anybody know something like that? Is it on the plates? OK, then, how about reporting some useful information like the fucking plate number?

    See, if somebody tells something me that, and does not have the plate number, I don’t care how much pain I’m in, I’m going to bite their goddamned feet off at the ankle or something for bothering an injured person with useless crap.

    That Treacher reports it credulously, without comment, kind of weakens my sympathy for him.

  42. 42.

    madmatt

    February 4, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    The SS has problems with the first amendment, thats why a bad bumper sticker could get you arrested during the bush years…this is just a continuation of that policy, and a bit more direct.

  43. 43.

    David

    February 4, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    It’s just part of a much, much bigger plot. If you just look you can see endless signs of a decades long, global, anti-Republican Party conspiracy.

  44. 44.

    Roger Moore

    February 4, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    @ThresherK:

    Real men make a sling from branches and strips of what used to be a shirtsleeve, and the bone gets better cos it knows what’s good for it.

    A Real Man wouldn’t be injured by something as trivial as being hit by an SUV; it would be the SUV that would need the emergency help. And BTW, I’m questioning Treacher’s conservative credentials. What True Conservative(R) walks to the store to buy a public transit pass instead of driving everywhere in an enormous SUV, lets some nanny state crossing signal tell him when he’s allowed to cross the street, and depends on socia1ist paramedics to get him to the hospital instead of a private ambulance service?

  45. 45.

    Drive By Wisdom

    February 4, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Jim Treacher is a man with many enemies, who unfortunately doesn’t get to ride on Air Force jets or get shuttled around in limosines.

    I hope you recover soon John, but maybe you should put a little more thought into killing “vegetative” people.

  46. 46.

    Nikki

    February 4, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    @John Cole: When I tore the meniscus in my right knee while playing volleyball at an office picnic, I drove myself home and made it down 2 flights of stairs into my apartment. The slightest pressure I put on my right leg caused my knee to collapse inward. It was cute. Does this make me a real woman??

  47. 47.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    February 4, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    @matt:

    I thought the president got 3 blame free murders each term as part of the presidential benefits package.

    That’s the old policy, before the Clintons… do try and keep up.

  48. 48.

    JGabriel

    February 4, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Citizen_X:

    Excuse me, but how the hell does anybody know something like that? Is it on the plates?

    On their plates? That wouldn’t be very secret.

    In fact, you can tell they’re Secret Service by the way they don’t have it on their plates, Citizen_X.

    And what kind of handle is Citizen_X, anyway? That’s the kind of userid someone from the Secret Service would choose!

    .

  49. 49.

    Xenos

    February 4, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    I thought the President was out of town last night… if this allegation is true, then whose detail could be responsible?

    What a shame that Treacher and Tucker Carlson lack the resources and contacts to get to the bottom of this.

  50. 50.

    Warren Terra

    February 4, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    “drive by”?

    “drive thru”, more like! (rimshot!)

    I love how some neanderthal must have remembered stories of scary urban dusky people doing “drive-bys” and so applied it to this unfortunate incident.

  51. 51.

    Citizen_X

    February 4, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    @JGabriel:

    That’s the kind of userid someone from the Secret Service would choose!

    Oh crap! Busted!

  52. 52.

    JGabriel

    February 4, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    Nikki:

    I drove myself home and made it down 2 flights of stairs into my apartment.

    You live in a sub-basement? How very cyberpunk of you.

    .

  53. 53.

    David

    February 4, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    No backwards “B” scratched into his face?

  54. 54.

    General Winfield Stuck

    February 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    @Drive By Wisdom: Moran. there is a difference between someone being in a vegetative state where the brain structure is normal, and one that was so starved for oxygen it shriveled to half it’s normal size or so, such as with Schiavo/

  55. 55.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    February 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Running people over and leaving them there is just what Democrats do.

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/laura.asp

    (#1 and #2, learn to fucking spell. Jesus Christ.)

  56. 56.

    Ash Can

    February 4, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    @Drive By Wisdom: Yeah. When you hit ’em in the crosswalks, they stay down.

  57. 57.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    February 4, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    @Martin: Oh would I love to see you post that over there.

  58. 58.

    Ash

    February 4, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    @Church Lady: Yes, though Biden wasn’t around.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/11/AR2009111110628.html

    If they did hit someone on purpose, they’d at least finish the job. I don’t think hit and runs are really their style.

  59. 59.

    freelancer

    February 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    (^)(^)(^)(^)(^)

    BREAKING NEWS: TREACHER ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION CAUGHT ON TAPE!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gt8DUmaD-A

    (^)(^)(^)(^)(^)

    /drudge

  60. 60.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    February 4, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    @Xenos:

    What a shame that Treacher and Tucker Carlson lack the resources and contacts and basic smarts to get to the bottom of this.

    Yes indeedy… how unfortunate that J O’Keefe is grounded at the moment. Perhaps some deep pockets conservative will hire the geniuses who made Carly’s FCINO ad to make a searing expose about this, revealing the seamy underbelly of political drive-by hits…

  61. 61.

    LuciaMia

    February 4, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    And what kind of handle is Citizen_X, anyway?

    I thought that was Homer Simpson’s blog.

    Good news on the shoulder, John. You deserve good news.
    ********************

    After reading this and the previous Pelosi post…. Jesus, it must suck to live in that kind of paranoid-ridden reallity.

  62. 62.

    Admiral_Komack

    February 4, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    If this were really the work of the Evil Kenyan Socialist, they would have run over and killed the whiny bastard.

  63. 63.

    RSA

    February 4, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Excuse me, but how the hell does anybody know something like that?

    I wondered about this, too. But maybe all black SUVs are Secret Service in DC.

  64. 64.

    Drive By Wisdom

    February 4, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    and one that was so starved for oxygen it shriveled to half it’s normal size or so

    Thank you for your Fristian ex-post facto autopsy analysis, Dr. Stuck.

    It is OK to cling to science, as you are always want to do, but you should at least keep current with it. Unless that makes you uncomfortable.

  65. 65.

    licensed to kill time

    February 4, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    What a scary world those people live in, someone’s always out to get them and keep them down and silence their truth-telling and flying the black helicopters and crashing their SUV’s and ZOMG!

    (But at least someone’s in charge, no? That must be a relief to them…)

  66. 66.

    burnspbesq

    February 4, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    I’m not buying a word of his story.

    IIRC (I worked at 20th and M a number of years ago), that CVS (2240 M Street, Northwest) is on the south side of M, in the middle of the block (not on the corner of 23rd and M).

    He says he was crossing legally, and got hit by a vehicle making an illegal left turn. I’ve diagrammed it, and there are only two ways that could be true.

    (1) If he were crossing legally from the southeast to the northeast corner of 23rd and M (i.e., crossing M), then 23rd would have a green light; a left turn from southbound 23rd to eastbound M would be illegal only if there is a separate control for the left turn lane and the left turn arrow is red.

    (2) If he were crossing legally from the southeast to the southwest corner (i.e., crossing 23rd), then M would have a green light; a left turn from westbound M to southbound 23rd would be illegal only if there is a separate control for the left turn lane and the left turn arrow is red.

    I’ve probably driven through that intersection at least 500 times. I honestly don’t remember whether there are separate controls for left turn lanes, but I can tell you two things with absolute certainty: (a) if there aren’t separate controls, then by definition no left turn with a green light is illegal; (b) if there are separate controls, trying to turn left after the left turn arrow goes red is suicidal (that is a very busy intersection at any time between 6:00 a.m. and midnight).

    I’m betting he carelessly stepped out from between two parked cars and the driver had no chance to avoid hitting him. And if he got hit by a Suburban and came out of it with only a broken knee, he should consider himself lucky.

  67. 67.

    Comrade Darkness

    February 4, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    I think they should look into where Bob Novak was at the time.

  68. 68.

    General Winfield Stuck

    February 4, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    @Comrade Darkness: He was having tea with Satan, discussing Dick Cheney’s arrival in the not so distant future.

  69. 69.

    General Winfield Stuck

    February 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    @Drive By Wisdom:

    It is OK to cling to science

    Fairly good spoofery. Are you taking notes BoBaloo?

  70. 70.

    liberty60

    February 4, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    I’m told by multiple people that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service.
    Excuse me, but how the hell does anybody know something like that?

    Carly Fiorino reported that the SUV was being driven by a red eyed sheep.

  71. 71.

    RSA

    February 4, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    I’ve diagrammed it,

    Will someone put a simulation up on youtube? :-)

  72. 72.

    Boy Ga Ga

    February 4, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    @burnspbesq: Maybe we can borrow Confederate Yankee’s sandbox and start running simulations.

    I hope it was the SS, and the driver says he thought it was a dog.

  73. 73.

    Morgan

    February 4, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    @burnspbesq: I just looked it up on Google maps. CVS is on the south side of the street, so he if was “right across the street” from it he wouldn’t have been on the south side as he would have to be in any of your scenarios. Regardless, 22nd, 23rd, and M are all one-ways, so there’s really no such thing as an illegal left turn and there are no green arrow lights. The SUV could have been trying to go the wrong way down a one way, but you’d think he’d mention that, wouldn’t you?

    On top of that, he claims he was sprawled out on the yellow line, which, as you can see plainly in street view, don’t exist at either of those intersections. I hate to feel like I’m getting all Michelle Malkin-Graham Frost on the dude, but his story doesn’t exactly add up.

  74. 74.

    Mark S.

    February 4, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    So it was Hillary after all:

    The Daily Caller has been told by federal law enforcement sources that the Secret Service was not involved, and is working to confirm that driver of the vehicle which struck Jim Treacher was a State Department security employee.

  75. 75.

    Comrade Darkness

    February 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    @Mark S.:

    Oh, so Blackwater/Xe. Well, they get automatic immunity, so all good.

    @Drive By Wisdom:

    Seriously, but wtf? Or are you just acting blind out of some kind of ideological cultism?

    @General Winfield Stuck: They don’t call him Novakula for nothing you know.

  76. 76.

    General Winfield Stuck

    February 4, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    @Mark S.: No No No

    It was an ACORN vehicle driven by Reverend Wright with Bill Ayers riding shotgun.

  77. 77.

    Original Lee

    February 4, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    @burnspbesq: I think I love you.

    Notice that he says he was lying next to the yellow line. M Street is one-way at that point. Both 22nd and 23rd Streets are also one-way at that point. What yellow line?

  78. 78.

    Warren Terra

    February 4, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Joking aside, why is anyone doing the kerning on this? I don’t care if he sneaked into moving traffic, he’s hurt and hit-and-run is very uncool. We don’t have to care, let alone prove, who’s at fault.

  79. 79.

    mellowjohn

    February 4, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    “I’m told by multiple people that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service.”
    more like the multiple voices in your head.

    btw, shouldn’t this be called a drive-over, and not a drive by?

  80. 80.

    Bill Rutherford, Princeton Admissions

    February 4, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    “Joking aside, why is anyone doing the kerning on this?”

    I dunno, because the person hit is a colossal piece of shit who likes to joke about the Obama daughters being raped?

  81. 81.

    Ash Can

    February 4, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    @General Winfield Stuck: With a real shotgun, too. Also.

  82. 82.

    El Cid

    February 4, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Has anyone done the sandbox test with toy SUV’s yet?

  83. 83.

    Jamey

    February 4, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    He’s still alive?

    Play on.

  84. 84.

    Boy Ga Ga

    February 4, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    @Warren Terra: It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    I’m wondering if he was trying to make some protest around a motorcade and got more than he was expecting.

  85. 85.

    GregB

    February 4, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    PUMA Alert Defcon 4!

    State Dept. Employee!

    Obama is setting Hillary up so she won’t challenge him in 2012!

    Get Harriet Christian on the line stat.

    -G

  86. 86.

    Xenos

    February 4, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    It is time to go the full Beachamp here and construct a sand table with scale buildings and hotwheels and those little trees used by the model railroad hobbyists. We can then demonstrate that it must have been Michelle’s Secret Service detail overreacting to her having one of her trademark ‘get whitey’ moments when she was late getting to Sidwell Friends for her daughters cello recitals.

    Throw in some of BOB’s geometry lessons and connect them to the Masonic conspiracy to design streets that will force people to run over conservative columnists named after pirates/fried fish and chips franchisors, and we have our own little wingularity at hand.

  87. 87.

    Colette

    February 4, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    @Mark S.:

    The Daily Caller has been told by federal law enforcement sources that the Secret Service was not involved, and is working to confirm that driver of the vehicle which struck Jim Treacher was a State Department security employee.

    And after that’s disproven, they’ll move on to the theory that it was the NSA, and then the bought-and-paid-for District police, then the Capitol police (efil Democrats!) and then that it was the Trilateral Commission (SUVs dropped from helicopters!). They will never realize that it was actually the DC street cleaning department, whose employees mistook Treacher for a piece of dog poop and were just trying to do their job.

  88. 88.

    JGabriel

    February 4, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    burnspbesq:

    He says he was crossing legally, and got hit by a vehicle making an illegal left turn. I’ve diagrammed it, and there are only two ways that could be true …

    We really need floating dioramas for this, like the Japanese had in Pearl Harbor.

    .

  89. 89.

    Paris

    February 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    … the SUV that hit me was Secret Service

    Its all about them. The narcissism oozing from his pores causes him to slip and stumble into oncoming traffic …

  90. 90.

    Prospero

    February 4, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    You are too fucking nice.

  91. 91.

    kay

    February 4, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    He must be really important. The State Department tried to kill him.
    I have no earthly idea who he is, and I’m hoping I can keep it that way.

  92. 92.

    ruemara

    February 4, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    Oi fraking vey. Good health to him and may he develop good sense too.

  93. 93.

    someguy

    February 4, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Gee, I hope the State Department employee is unhurt.

  94. 94.

    gwangung

    February 4, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Oi fraking vey. Good health to him and may he develop good sense too.

    You need to drop him on his head a few times. He might make a LITTLE more sense after that.

  95. 95.

    Speedy

    February 4, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    In truth he was probably hit by Andrew Breitbart when he went for another bottle during his drunken Twitter rage last night. Anyone knows you don’t get between Andy and his Ten High when he’s having a bourbon fueled psychotic break.

  96. 96.

    mak

    February 4, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Dude was doing his grocery shopping at CVS. Bread and milk. How very sad.

  97. 97.

    trollhattan

    February 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    I’m waiting for a license plate kerning evaluation of this Zecret Zervice ess you vee before deciding on whether this outrage was committed by our kommie preznit or Iran.

    Almost forgot: who is Jim Treacher?

  98. 98.

    Nellcote

    February 4, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    @JGabriel:

    Nothing will build up the credibility of The Carlson Pest as quickly as a columnist who starts conspiracy theories that the Secret Service is attacking him.

    Are you saying Tucker Carlson had him run over?

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  99. 99.

    aimai

    February 4, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Damn, Comerade Darkness (no relation) beat me to the Novak/Prince of Darkness joke. Also, kerning. You people are the best.

    aimai

  100. 100.

    Catsy

    February 4, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    Jim Treacher got hit by an SVU

    The guy must not be a very good shot. That sure blows the whole Secret Service angle out of the water.

  101. 101.

    Davis X. Machina

    February 4, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    State Department security employee.

    State Department contract security employee? Then it was Blackwater! Why are Treacher’s own people trying to take him out? Was he getting ready to talk?

  102. 102.

    srv

    February 4, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    @Nellcote:

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    I would like to point out that isn’t listed in the BJ lexicon.

  103. 103.

    licensed to kill time

    February 4, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    @srv:

    It is, actually – look under “Is it irresponsible to speculate?” and cross-referenced w/Nooners and “keep on walking”.

  104. 104.

    catclub

    February 4, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Morgan @ 73 said:
    “The SUV could have been trying to go the wrong way down a one way, but you’d think he’d mention that, wouldn’t you?”

    It was Doug Christie! New Gov of NJ

  105. 105.

    Jrod

    February 4, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    It couldn’t have been Rahmbama. He makes his hits with a bus.

  106. 106.

    CalD

    February 4, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    If it really was the Secret Service, don’t you think they would have at least taken him aboard Obama’s mothership for a quick anal probing before they let him go? I mean OK, whoever was in the SUV might have been late for a death panel or something, but it’s not like they don’t have black helicopters for that sort of thing.

  107. 107.

    Superluminar

    February 4, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    But were those black helicopters laughing, also?

  108. 108.

    burnspbesq

    February 4, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    @Original Lee:

    I think I love you.

    Sorry. I’m taken.

  109. 109.

    goblue72

    February 4, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    @JGabriel: I’d prefer it he used some toy cars in a sanbox. With the part of Jim Treacher played by Snake Eyes, with the Kung-Fu Action Grip.

  110. 110.

    Warren Terra

    February 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    @aimai:

    Also, kerning. You people are the best

    I’m one of the best! I am!

  111. 111.

    Anne Laurie

    February 4, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    @Speedy:

    In truth he was probably hit by Andrew Breitbart when he went for another bottle during his drunken Twitter rage last night.

    He was hit by one of Breitbart’s minions, because Andrew is furious at Tucker Carlson for poaching one of “his” intended columnists.

  112. 112.

    Barry

    February 4, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    “The Daily Caller has been told by federal law enforcement sources that the Secret Service was not involved, and is working to confirm that driver of the vehicle which struck Jim Treacher was a State Department security employee.”

    Wouldn’t that be Blackwater?

  113. 113.

    Mnemosyne

    February 4, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    @Drive By Wisdom:

    So you have one study of 23 people. Of those 23 people, 4 of them are able to maybe respond to researcher requests by changing their brain waves. Of the 4 who were able to respond at all, 1 was able to respond to the researchers enough that they were able to formulate yes/no questions.

    Yep, that sure proves that Terri Schiavo’s parents were right and she was speaking to them!

  114. 114.

    Citizen Alan

    February 4, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    @John Cole:

    Real men pop their broken bones back into place themselves and then drive themselves to the hospital. Or so I am told.

    Ten years ago, my dad (who has not voted for a Republican since 1988) was run over by an idling tractor that had slipped out of neutral and was rolling down a hill. He pulled himself 100 yards across a muddy field, hauled himself up onto the tractor seat, and drove three miles to a neighbors house to get help. Thank God he’s a lifelong progressive union member with guts and moxie instead of some whiny, pussified Republican.

  115. 115.

    fourlegsgood

    February 4, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    @brantl: Awesome.

  116. 116.

    Zuzu's Petals

    February 4, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Tucker Carlson has descended into full countertop-checking mode on this one.

    And lordy, he doesn’t even make sense:

    In one of his strikingly short conversations with the Daily Caller, agent Mike McGuinn [the driver] acknowledged that Medlock was not jaywalking at all, but walking “outside the crosswalk when the incident occurred.”

    It actually makes me feel a little sorry for the guy…even he must realize how pathetic this is.

    I know it’s catty, but I can’t resist noting that Treacher looks like the epitome of a mom’s-basement-blogger.

  117. 117.

    k_michael

    February 4, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    “Jim Treacher got hit by an SUV and broke his knee…”

    Who is Jim Treacher? And if he’s a right wing extremist, why should I care about him more than he probably cares, for example, about people who literally die because their insurance company drops them the instant they develop cancer?

    I wish him, however, neither ill nor well; to be honest, I’m indifferent. There are other things n which, and people on whom, I much prefer spending my tie, energy, and thought.

  118. 118.

    Wile E. Quixote

    February 4, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    @John Cole

    Jim Treacher got hit by an SVU and broke his knee, and while I don’t really have anything nice to say about his politics, after what I’ve been through the last couple of weeks, I hope he gets well soon. Pain like this sucks. On the other hand, this is going to be the next conspiracy:

    Fuck Jim Treacher, I’ve been in more pain than that worthless little Republican piece of shit has ever been in and I hope that he ends up with a MRSA infection and that they have to amputate his leg at the hip. Jim Treacher is a worthless little self-aggrandizing shit that deserves all of the pain the world can hand him, the driver of the SUV should have backed up and had another go at him.

  119. 119.

    Wile E. Quixote

    February 4, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    @Zuzu’s Petals:

    Really, is there anyone more despicable that someone who would knock down an obviously blind man and then drive off?

    Yes, someone who would run Jim Treacher down and then, once they found out who he was, not get back in the car and finish the job.

  120. 120.

    kc

    February 4, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    One last thing: I’m told by multiple people that the SUV that hit me was Secret Service. If this is true, I want to know why that happened. I was crossing legally, and they just left me there. At the very least, I want an apology

    At the very least I want to know why they didn’t back up and run over him again.

    KIDDING!

  121. 121.

    Rebecca

    February 4, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    Obviously the SUV has the words SECRET SERVICE engraved on the side. You know, like the Torchwood car ;)

  122. 122.

    Wile E. Quixote

    February 4, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    @Jim Treacher

    I lay there screaming and cursing for I don’t know how long, and a crowd of people gathered and told me to hold still…I almost passed out twice from the pain.

    I got hit by a truck while riding my motorcycle and had my leg broken in four places below the knee, two simple and two compound fractures. I didn’t scream once. Eight weeks later I walked out of the hospital on crutches and without a left foot. Two years after the accident I started riding my bicycle again and the following summer completed my first Seattle to Portland ride, 206 miles in two days, with a prosthetic limb and a broken wrist from a bicycle accident I had been in two days before. Jim Treacher is worthless and weak.

  123. 123.

    Wile E. Quixote

    February 4, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    @Barry:

    “The Daily Caller has been told by federal law enforcement sources that the Secret Service was not involved, and is working to confirm that driver of the vehicle which struck Jim Treacher was a State Department security employee.”
    __
    Wouldn’t that be Blackwater?

    It would be perfect if it was, especially if they decided to silence Treacher before he could sue.

  124. 124.

    Jim Treacher

    February 4, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Thanks, John. Going into surgery tomorrow morning at 10. Then, after the liposuction, they might look at my knee.

  125. 125.

    General Winfield Stuck

    February 4, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    @Jim Treacher:

    Then, after the liposuction,

    Brain surgery is no tea bag party.

  126. 126.

    cat48

    February 5, 2010 at 7:51 am

    “An agent in the vehicle, Mike McGuinn, did not identify himself to Medlock at the scene, or apologize for running him down. Indeed, Washington, D.C., police drove to a local emergency room to serve Medlock with a jaywalking citation as he lay prostrate in a hospital bed, while a man who identified himself as “special agent” stood by watching and taking notes.”

    Appears that it was not a hit-n-run. McGuinn (State Dept ‘special agent’) called the police at the scene. WATB Treacher got story wrong.

  127. 127.

    Tenzil Kem

    February 5, 2010 at 8:12 am

    But the important questions is, was the SUV OK?

  128. 128.

    KCinDC

    February 5, 2010 at 10:37 am

    Eric Boehlert at Media Matters on right-wing “journalists” baselessly smearing the Secret Service and spreading the “hit-and-run” lie.

  129. 129.

    Remember November

    February 5, 2010 at 10:47 am

    It was the ghost of Robert Novak!

  130. 130.

    milhous451

    February 5, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Jim Treacher got hit by an SVU and broke his knee

    he got hit by a special victim’s unit?
    i realize these guys are special — since we are no longer allowed to use the word retarded — but …

  131. 131.

    Socraticsilence

    February 5, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    Now if I remember the TNR “Dog hit by Bradley” thing correctly we need to use a matchbox Suburban to disprove this whole thing happened in the first place.

  132. 132.

    satyr9us

    February 6, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    @Drive By Wisdom

    It is OK to cling to science, as you are always want to do

    Wise one, the word you want is “wont”.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Obama’s death squads are coming for YOU « The Poor Man Institute says:
    February 5, 2010 at 7:53 am

    […] and so it begins. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Barack Obama has betrayed Liberal FascismIt is […]

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - twbrandt - Belle Isle, Detroit, Michigan 7
Image by twbrandt (7/18/25)
Donate

Recent Comments

  • Baud on GOP in Disarray Open Thread: CVI Is the New Phlebitis (Jul 18, 2025 @ 4:32pm)
  • robtrim on GOP in Disarray Open Thread: CVI Is the New Phlebitis (Jul 18, 2025 @ 4:32pm)
  • Chief Oshkosh on GOP in Disarray Open Thread: CVI Is the New Phlebitis (Jul 18, 2025 @ 4:31pm)
  • Josie on GOP in Disarray Open Thread: CVI Is the New Phlebitis (Jul 18, 2025 @ 4:31pm)
  • Princess on GOP in Disarray Open Thread: CVI Is the New Phlebitis (Jul 18, 2025 @ 4:29pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!