I was supposed to wait another 12 hours, but I couldn’t. I cheated and I showered early. Right now I am wrapped up in two towels waiting for the hot water heater to refill so I can go for round two. I think I got the first layers of filth off, but now I intend to take steel wool to my armpits.
I know this will spur a whole series of “Ur doin’ it rong” comments, but I think this may be the most fun I have ever had with my clothes off.
Buck B.
Ur doin’ it rong!
Comrade Luke
Is anyone talking about whether the Toyotas that are being recalled were built using union labor?
I have no idea whether they were or not; I’m just wondering.
Seems like a lot of union busting has resulted in lower quality and/or delays (see Boeing).
General Winfield Stuck
A bit too much detail, but go for it Pig Pen.
Dreggas
steel wool to the armpits eh? Might wanna watch for the sparks and make sure the steel wool doesn’t get stuck.
JC
“Most fun I’ve ever had with my clothes off”.
Umm, I sure hope that’s not the case, is all I’m sayin’.
Wile E. Quixote
Ur doin’ it rite.
Chat Noir
I would’ve done the same thing. I average two showers per day so I don’t blame you for not waiting until tomorrow.
Enjoy!
Chat Noir
@General Winfield Stuck: Stuck, your Charlie pix in the other thread are way too cute. Yer killin’ me.
Cat Lady
When I broke my leg in 4 places, the first shower after the cast came off was a peak experience. That razor was my friend.
Trueblood
@JC:
I don’t know about that. I played soccer and rugby for years, never minded all the dirt and mud, but when I tore my ACL and had to lay around post surgery, that first shower was pretty magical.
Cassidy
And this would be why you’re becoming the crazy cat lady.
Cat Lady
Feature not a bug/
beltane
@Comrade Luke: It is my understanding that all Toyota plants in the USA are non-union and are mostly located in southern states with long-standing hostility towards unions.
Cassidy
Eh, not if the most fun you’ve had naked is a shower….
SiubhanDuinne
When I had my quad bypass surgery I could shower within the first few days but couldn’t raise my arms = couldn’t wash my hair for a couple of weeks. God, that first shampoo was bliss. Nothing worse than a grimy scalp and icky sticky hair. Unless it’s encrusted steel-wool-requiring armpits.
beltane
Ugh, I’ll never forget the way my son smelled while he was wearing a cast for his broken arm. If this happens to my husband I will make him sleep in another room. B.O. is one thing; putrescence is another.
Midnight Marauder
Well, it’s graphic, but we’ve finally settled the question of whether Cole is a “through-a-hole-in-his-PJs” kind of guy. I, for one, feel a great sense of relief.
Sentient Puddle
OK, we need to find John a lady. I hear OKCupid is free these days.
Svensker
@General Winfield Stuck:
The General has said it all, quite well.
D-Chance.
I know this will spur a whole series of “Ur doin’ it rong” comments, but I think this may be the most fun I have ever had with my clothes off.
I wish the comments section allowed displays of pics. Because I can think of hundreds of appropriate responses to this statement… and every one of them NSFW.
RedKitten
@SiubhanDuinne:
Ditto. When I had my breast reduction, I couldn’t shower for a week, and couldn’t lift my arms for about three weeks. Thank goodness my mom was nice enough to spring for a shampoo and blow dry at the salon the day I got out of the hospital, as I had puked onto my own hair while in the recovery room — so at least I didn’t have to deal with that. Still…I was seriously starting to look like a hobo by week 2.
Mnemosyne
It was at least a week after my surgery before I was allowed to take a full shower — I was sleeping on the couch for more reasons than one. :-) Once I finally got clearance, I wrapped my knee in plastic wrap and went ahead.
Morbo
@Cat Lady: QFT, although mine was only two places. In fact, that damn cast was so filthy that my wounds from having the fixator taken out of my shin got infected. Had to go under the knife again, boo. Yeah, I actually had several different phases of having new areas to clean.
Roger Moore
@Comrade Luke:
As far as I can tell, Toyota is suffering from a design problem, not a manufacturing problem. That means it doesn’t really matter whether the assembly is being done by union or non-union labor.
jager
When I had disc surgery on my neck, my girl friend (now the lovely, Mrs J) would hop in the shower with me and do the “parts” of me I could reach…it was a very nice experience! But certainly not the “most fun I’ve ever had with my clothes off!”
Ruemara
Having had surgery where I couldn’t bathe for 2 weeks, I sympathize. Purge away, Mr. Cole. And keep everything as dry as possible.
Jay C
Definitely TMI.
TooManyJens
It does rather raise the question of what is the most fun you’ve ever had with your clothes *on*.
Leelee for Obama
Better than going Galt or rogue, I say. Glad you are feeling all feisty and stuff, John. I haven’t been online too much the last few days, so it’s good to hear you are getting back to your healthier self.
I have been ignoring almost everything on politics while nursing a headache I gave myself by painting Valentines! Apparently, I’ve developed a sensitivity to the additives in acrylic craft paint? Is that possible? Talk about no good deed going unpunished. I feel Obama’s pain, I do.
Lurker
Long as you heal up OK, John, go for it.
beltane
@jager: Was the disc surgery effective? I did a couple of months of PT for my arthritis, but it only partially fixed the problem and I’m still in pain a good deal of the time.
mr. whipple
I’ve seen some very good looking women following him on Twitter.
If he was lookin I don’t think he’d have the slightest problem.
WereBear
This is just in line with “hunger is the best sauce.”
Funny, one of the times I remember feeling this way was when I was soaked all day; canoe trip in the cold spring rain.
I sure wasn’t dirty, but the hot water made me not smell like fish and old life jackets as well as bringing up my core temp.
Cat Lady
@Morbo:
Ugh. Nothing is like that dead skin rank. Ugh.
patrick
“but now I intend to take steel wool to my armpits”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/o_caritas/275770162/
_
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
Whoa there John, don’t go gonzo on us and let it all hang out. ;)
As far as the “Ur doin’ it rong”, all I can say is that if this is the most fun you have ever had with your clothes off then “Ur doin’ it rong”.
It’s a lot more fun when you have your clothes off, you’re in the tub/shower and there is someone else there with you who is doing the exact same thing. Maybe even two ‘someones’ there with you.
The ‘you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’ line comes into play in this scenario. ;)
The shower covering that my docs gave me for post-op showering is called 3M Tegaderm Transparent Dressing. If anyone has an incision in a hard to cover area, this stuff does the trick. It bonds/seals to the skin and is so thin and smooth that you can’t feel the edge of it, yet it easily peels off after your shower. There’s no latex in it so no allergy worries there either.
Linkmeister
When I broke a finger I remember wearing a thing like a boxing glove on my hand for three months. In the summer. In Los Angeles. When that thing came off my hand smelled like the dirtiest of dirty socks. I don’t remember if Lava soap was around then, but I surely had to use its equivalent.
Ben JB
Just one question: does wearing two wetsuits count as having your clothes on?
Wile E. Quixote
@TooManyJens:
1) Walking Lilly
2) Watching the Steelers
3) Punching hippies
4) Putting a bag of dog-poo with “Rahm” written on it on Jane Hamsher’s porch, setting it on fire, ringing the doorbell and then running away.
5) Mopping, no wait, John does that naked.
Cassidy
Fun reading. These people don’t know shit.
JenJen
“The most fun I’ve ever had with my clothes off.”
OK. I’ve held back for awhile, but I’m officially worried about you now.
Comrade Mary
When I was in my teens, I had spinal surgery and was put in a plaster body cast. I was originally supposed to wear it for 6 months, then move to a molded plastic and canvas corset (not the sexy kind, trust me) for another 6 months. But after losing 12 pounds in a month, the cast was hanging off me and they put me in the corset early. Yay! 23.75 hours of corset a day and 15 glorious minutes of shower.
Thank. God. I could wash my exposed limbs and such while in the cast, but my torso was encased in itchy plaster for a month at the height of summer. I think I beat every damn one of you for ripeness by August.
Mnemosyne
I had two teeth prepped for crowns today and now my jaw HURTS. The dentist made me very paranoid because he started talking about how he had to drill one of the teeth down very close to the nerve, so I may end up needing a root canal after all. Which means I have to go to the specialist, because my roots go wandering off in strange directions.
I hate my teeth. Turns out that when you have 30-year-old fillings that should have been replaced at least 10 years ago, you end up with a mouthful of problems.
Wile E. Quixote
@Comrade Mary:
Even Brick Oven Bill? Man, that was some stank!
evinfuilt
I consider this good news for Lilly, but…
You’re doing it wrong!
Moonbatting Average
As someone who has gone over a month without a shower (backpacking trip), I can say without reservations that hot showers are the best thing about civilization.
ajr22
I keep finding these cat pictures that remind me of tunch. http://i.imgur.com/JqZt6.jpg
SiubhanDuinne
John, if you’re really as stanky as you claim, why not just let Lily roll around on you for a while before you start showering. From her perspective you’re probably right up there with dead shit. And you said in the bathing dogs thread that access to dead shit has been limited recently. Do her a favor.
Johnny
If this is the most fun you’ve ever had without clothes, then you’re doing sex wrong!!!!
I apologize for not reading other comments if this has already been stated.
darryl
Right, that’s why Chrysler’s been such higher quality than Honda all these years…
Bill H
@Mnemosyne:
When I was a kid we lived in an area that added flouride to the drinking water but my parents, true to the tradition that anything worth doing is worth overdoing, had my teeth “painted” with flouride anyway. Turns out too much flouride is not all that good of a deal either; makes one’s teeth prone to fracturing. Several of my molars have fractured vertically, with breaks extending down into the root zone, meaning they cannot be saved and must be removed. Others have just snapped off horizontally, meaning root canals and crowns. One of the latter was right at the gum line, so the crown extends below the gum, and that is a problem yet to be dealt with.
The flouride did mean very few fillings, so I’ve spent very little time having fillings. One of the teeth that fractured had a filling in it, the others didn’t. I think I’d rather have fillings in present teeth than have all these damned missing teeth.
Annie
First the “baby butt wipes,” and now “the most fun I ever had with my clothes off.”
I am not sure what to do with the images swirling around in my mind….
Cain
@Comrade Mary: <blockquoteThank. God. I could wash my exposed limbs and such while in the cast, but my torso was encased in itchy plaster for a month at the height of summer. I think I beat every damn one of you for ripeness by August.
Dear God.. I have bad claustrophobia. Anything that would make me not able to move my hands would induce a panic attack. I could not imagine being like that for 6 months.
I broke my wrist once, and I had panic attacks for that.. it was difficult. hats off to you. I can’t think of a worse hell than being pinned down somewhere in a car accident.
cain
eastriver
Here’s a handy chart (I just made up) for classifying time spent not bathing:
Time w/out Bath/Shower Status
1 day busy person
2 days college student
3 days French citizen
4 days post-surgery patient
5 days French student
6 days Turkish citizen
1 week Hobo
2 weeks Johnny Depp
3 weeks Mickey Rourke
Dan Robinson
I had shoulder surgery and was on the meds for a half day. They made me feel so disoriented that I stopped taking them. I hurt for awhile, but it was better than feeling like I was going crazy.
Yeah, that first shower is great.
I don’t know what you have for PT, but I made a stretching stick out of PVC pipe, put a T on one end and capped it all off. I could get into the hot tub at my health club and get my shoulder good and hot, then stretch it some.
Violet
Dang, Cole. Really? Seriously, ur doin’ it rong.
Anne Laurie
@Mnemosyne:
I feel your pain, and you have my sympathy. My dentist wants to tear down four teeth in a row, including the first one he crowned for me 15 years ago. Any wonder I’m dental-phobic? Don’t be afraid to ask for painkillers, and maybe some prophylactic antibiotics as well.
Mnemosyne
@Bill H:
Ye-ouch! Yes, as annoying as my crumbling teeth are, they’re not quite that bad. I’m partly pissed at myself for avoiding the dentist for so long, but considering that my dental phobia was so bad at one point that they had to give me nitrous oxide just to do a filling, it wasn’t exactly a conscious decision.
Steve Jobs is primarily responsible for my improved dental health — now that I can put on my iPod and turn it up loud enough to drown out the drill, trips to the dentist are much, much less stressful.
daveX99
I has a sad for you, and a happy too, also. But a kind of sad happy.
gnomedad
Except for cleaning the bathroom. Please resist for a while.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
I read that and the first joke that came to mind was ‘If Trojan is making antibiotics I bet they’re chewable but taste like rubber.’
Mnemosyne
@Anne Laurie:
I’ve been very fortunate with my recent dental professionals — they’re always very generous with the anesthetic, to the point of numbing my gums with a topical anesthetic before doing a cleaning.
When I got my first root canal, I was a little freaked, so I asked the endodontist if I could have nitrous oxide. He refused because I didn’t have anyone to drive me home and it was raining pretty hard.
I said, “Well, can you at least load me up with as much Novocain as possible?”
He flipped through my chart and said, “Yeah, we can do that.” I was numb up to my eyebrow and didn’t feel a thing.
Fitzwili
Aaagh that sounds divine ! I am in hospital right now and I am dividing my time between brooding over my mysterious Illness, recalling various devasting plots of House that could explain my mysterious illness, and giving myself the willies over how grubby I am.
When you reach a certain level of physical discomfort – cleanliness trumps everything!
Debbie(aussie)
I had surgery for scoliosis as ahild and wore a body cast went 9 months without a shower. The first was poor heaven.
Jon H
John,
Are you covered in a yellow stain from the pre-op disinfectant?
My hand and arm were like that after my finger op.
suzanne
When my mom had a pickline (however you spell that damn word) in for four weeks, her homecare nurse told her to use that Glad Press&Seal stuff and to go ahead and shower.
Doesn’t Lily count?!?!?!
Mako
Toyota gas pedal problems are only in the US. Japanese manufactured cars are not being recalled. The bad part was made by CTS of Indiana. No idea if they are union.
Comrade Mary
@Cain: Sorry, I was unclear. It was a body cast from chest to hips, with a lopsided heart-shaped hole cut out over my abdomen to allow free breathing. It left my limbs free, as I could walk and I moved my hands and arms a lot. (Ask my younger sister how often I pouted and flipped the bird that summer.)
But it was one stanky cast and there wasn’t a hell of a lot I could wear over it. I had to go out in public in a smock, basically. I wanted to burn that in August, but my mother wouldn’t let me.
Debbie: you poor thing! When I had my Harrington, they had just moved the protocol to surgery, 5 days on a Stryker bed getting flipped like a pancake, cast for 6 months, and corset for 6 months. But I knew people who had the same surgery 5 years before that who spent several months in a convalescent hospital in a cast, not allowed to walk at all, and then a year in a corset. And from what I hear these days, kids are getting the surgery with much smaller incisions and even shorter recovery times now.
Anne Laurie
@Mnemosyne:
Ha! I’m also one of the rare people who’s allergic to nitrous oxide. It actually made it a little easier for both me & the dentist once we figured out my puking wasn’t “just” psychological. But I totally insist he use the cherry-flavored numbing liquid before he inserts the novocaine needle. And he’s very good about stopping whenever I need a pause, which helps because I don’t hyperventilate as much if I know I’m in control.
Debbie(aussie)
@Comrade Mary:
Mary, I had mine in 1975, couldn’t use the rod, no walking for 6months plus a further 6months in cast then 6months in corset. Prior to surgery I spent 3 years in a brace (millwauke(SP?)). Was very hard.
Can understand how JOhn feels about having a shower tho
de stijl
All you folks who only shower after getting a cast off are half-assing it. After three months (and three casts because my calf and thigh shrank so much) I showered, took a bath, pool, hottub, sauna, pool, and then finished it off with another shower.
My freakishly spindly leg was very happy that day.
Debbie(aussie)
@de stijl:
Well said. I was in an enormous hurry to go swimming too.
Comrade Mary
@Debbie(aussie): Wow. This was in Australia? Mine was in 1976, in Toronto. I wasn’t in a brace beforehand, just went straight to surgery. I was so shy as a kid that I think I would have had mental scars from a brace.
They didn’t use Harrington rods? Did they fuse your spine with just bone glue and metal hooks? The rod felt incredibly weird for the first year or so, as I was constantly aware that I was lying on something whenever I was on my back, but I was totally used to it after that.
cay
I’m so happy for you! You go, JC…
Dead Ernest
@Cat Lady: Cat L. – during the day I wear the disguise of a rather cerebral physician – but, fool that I really am, your comment compels me to say… ‘Don’t go to those places!’
Ash Can
I’m sorry to hear that.
Jager
@Beltrane
My disc surgery was super successful. Had it 12 years ago and it solved the problems I was having with my right arm from pinched nerves. Example, my arm would go numb and be useless…like when driving my stick shift car in heavy Boston traffic…try shifting with your left, interesting!
The neurosurgeon told me I wouldn’t be going skiing again that year (it was Feb) so the weekend before the operation, I hit the slopes loaded on painkillers and Jack Daniels…won a Nastar Gold, never skiied better!
Debbie(aussie)
@Comrade Mary:
Bone fusion from the hip. Had something wrong with spine, too narrow? so couldn’t use the rod. Didn’t know thill they got in there. Was awful wearing the brace. I was 13 (1975) waht about you? And do you have any problems now? I have severe spinal degeneration(chronic pain) and fibromyalgia.
Trinity
Oh Cole, please say it ain’t so.
And ur doin’ it wrong. Also.
Laura Clawson
Oh, man. When I had ankle surgery, I managed to more-or-less bathe regularly. I doubt I missed more than a day of washing my hair, anyway, and eventually mastered lying on my back in the tub with my leg up in the air (and swathed in plastic bags).
But the two-week Outward Bound trip I did in high school…I got back to the hotel after it and took the longest, best shower of my life, clogged up two cheap disposable razors, got out, started to towel off, and realized that I was still dirty enough to leave brown streaks on the towels, so I got right back in.
Robert Waldmann
Ur obviously doing it rong. From your post, I infer, that no one ever told you that sex is even better if you take your clothes off first.
Also I don’t want to even think about your laundry bill.
frankdawg81
If taking a shower is the most fun you ever had with your cloths off either I am doing something wrong when I shower or you are REALLY doing something wrong when you are not showering!
Shinobi
@DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal): That Teagaderm stuff is amazing. They use them at the shop when I got my piercings. Though it still hurt when I took it off… but that was probably location related.