Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Bark louder, little dog.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

“But what about the lurkers?”

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

People are complicated. Love is not.

The words do not have to be perfect.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Infrastructure week. at last.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

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Reader Interactions

91Comments

  3. 3.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Frooooooostillicus and I met back in ‘dickety-two….

    (Nobody’s done an onion on my belt joke?)

  4. 4.

    licensed to kill time

    It will include a scratch n’ sniff strip for a whiff of manly aftershave and cigar smoke.

  12. 12.

    Shawnzilla

    I can imagine reading something like “Bumped into Congressman Boehner at the Tanning Salon again today, his tan sure is nice”.

  13. 13.

    Ben S.

    “Back in my day, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say.”

    –Excerpt from the first chapter

  18. 18.

    JGabriel

    Jesus Christ, step away for 3 frickin’ hours and seven posts go up, Evan Bayh retires, and simultaneously screws the Dems out of being able to field a candidate in Indiana!

    Hmm, maybe I should step away more often.

    .

  19. 19.

    A Mom Anon

    Oh goody. Another self important asshole gets a big advance to write a load of shit. I’m sick of seeing good people struggle and assholes raking in more money than they could possibly need. I hate everything today,I swear to gawd.

    Meanwhile,my husband lost his job today. Again. Second time in 18 months. Only this time we’ve depleted most of our savings,we’ll have no insurance,and if it goes on for too long,we’re fucked. Unemployment in GA pays a whopping 200 dollars a week. I can’t find a job to help because no one will hire me. I’ve been trying for a year to get even a menial job,no one will hire a stay home mom. I’m sick of assholes getting ahead and good people getting fucked over.

  20. 20.

    demo woman

    John, This is OT but Valdivia linked to an article in the NYTimes style section yesterday about the President and his children. It appears that we are all endangered because he goes to parent/teachers conferences.
    He’s killing to many terrorists and now he’s taking time away from his important duties to watch his children play basketball. What next.
    I missed the article where the former President was criticized for clearing to much brush in Texas.

  21. 21.

    Martin

    Any chance he’ll be able to distinguish between Fred Thompson and District Attorney Arthur Branch? Or can we look forward to 3 chapters on how he was tough on crime by pushing Jack McCoy into seeking the death penalty on home invasion robberies?

  24. 24.

    Davis X. Machina

    My wife’s a Law and Order junkie, so I see a lot of Fred. Which has left me with a question — Fred Thompson: total asshole, or playing a total asshole?

    If I were Jack McCoy, I’d have cock-punched him in the second episode.

  28. 28.

    demo woman

    @A Mom Anon: I’m so sorry to hear that your husband lost his job. The economy sucks and it appears that hope for a jobs bill is slim. Hang in there.

  34. 34.

    arguingwithsignposts

    “People elect you not to be a good family man, they elect you to fix their problems, and that’s the cold-hearted reality of it,” said John Feehery, a Republican political strategist. “And all those folks on the Hill, they’ve left all their families at home; they don’t have the luxury of skipping back home in the middle of the meeting to catch their daughter’s recital.”

    WTF?

  35. 35.

    LuciaMia

    On a similar note, here’s some info on another 2008 campaign has-been. (Not) Joe the (Not) Plumber.

  36. 36.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @A Mom Anon

    That is completely sucky news. I am so sorry, wish there were something I could do. What kind of work (generally) would you and your husband be seeking? I’m not in any kind of hiring authority position but I have a decent network depending on skill sets and interests.

  37. 37.

    Max

    @A Mom Anon: Sorry to hear that, my company did a re-org last week and is letting people go as well. I thought the layoff’s were over, but apparently not.

    I’m thankful that I don’t have to let any of my staff go. I guess it’s a benefit of having a very skeleton crew in place.

    When my BFF was entering the work force after being a stay at home mom, I wrote a very “creative” resume for her, capitalizing on mom tasks and various volunteering she had done. She was able to get on with the school district. It was only a 9 month job, but it got her back in. And her computer skills were horrific.

    I’m sure you have already looked into it, but sometimes the summer is a good time for the districts to fill positions.

    It sounds dumb, but I’d also look into dogwalking or something like that. I pay my dog walker $25/day.

  41. 41.

    J.

    My favorite line from the book: “Lookit here son, I say son, did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared ’em! “

  43. 43.

    Zifnab

    @A Mom Anon:

    I can’t find a job to help because no one will hire me. I’ve been trying for a year to get even a menial job,no one will hire a stay home mom. I’m sick of assholes getting ahead and good people getting fucked over.

    I don’t know if this helps, but my mom recently got hired on as a Census worker down here in Texas. Apparently they hire up people in bulk regardless of house-wife hood.

    Another (terrible paying but not completely catastrophically bad) place to work is H&R Block. Before I got my current job, I trained up as a tax prep and worked there. I actually kept the job through the following tax season for some extra scratch. Although – after getting paid minimum wage plus “bonuses” minus minimum wage = minimum wage – I dropped it again.

    Again, a couple of ideas – maybe coming a bit late. Georgia must suck more than usual right now. I’m really sorry to hear about your situation.

  44. 44.

    A Mom Anon

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The Husband has about 25 yrs experience in large scale residential maintainence. Everything from turning wrenches to managing several dozen properties at once.

    Me,I’ve been home raising an autistic child for 16 yrs. Before that I was in retail management,a retail buyer and also did a bit of small business management. I honestly have no references,I have no clue where anyone I worked with or for is now. Once my son was diagnosed I pretty much lost touch with everyone. People seem to RUN from that sort of thing.

    If you hear of anything,my email is gardenspirit1 at teh hotmail dot com. Thanks for your concern everyone,this is a really compassionate community,it kinda helps my faith in humanity to know that not everyone sucks.

  48. 48.

    cat48

    @A Mom Anon:

    Sorry to hear that. As for health ins., are you eligible for Cobra? I know it is expensive, but the stimulus included an extra $ amt to help Cobra costs. I think you apply thru the state office.

  50. 50.

    Spork

    AMA, I can’t do much. But, if you call me, I could order a pizza to your house on my debit card, you’d have to look up the local number.

  52. 52.

    serge

    “At Long Last, a Reliable Cure for Insomnia…”

    I can damn well guarantee that it will not be habit-forming.

  53. 53.

    Ash

    I hope there’s a whole chapter on how he hates that smelly hippie Jack McCoy, and how bad he wanted to get with Alex Cabot even though she’s a lesbian.

  55. 55.

    Linda Featheringill

    To AMA:

    I am so sorry to hear your bad news.

    Regarding your hubby, hospitals and colleges are worth a try. Heck, even public school districts might be worth a try.

    The very best of luck, Dear.

  56. 56.

    John PM

    From the article, here is the title of the book:

    Teaching the Pig to Dance

    My (unnamed) sources close to Mr. Thompson have revealed that the original title of the book was “Putting Lipstick on a Retarded Pig,” but then Sarah Palin found out.

  57. 57.

    Violet

    @A Mom Anon:
    It wouldn’t be a job with benefits, but good handymen are always in demand. Maybe your husband could work a few jobs like that for cash until something more stable came along. So sorry you’re having to deal with this.

  58. 58.

    eric

    @A Mom Anon: one other thought…..perhaps (if he has not already) your husband can look into working with Court appointed receivers for banks on foreclosure cases, particularly on larger commercial/investment properties. just a thought.

    good luck and let us know when there are times of need.

    eric

  59. 59.

    GregB

    Full circle.

    Now that there is a committed family man from the Democratic Party in the White House we now find out that he should be forsaking his family for the job.

    How can this madness continue?

    -G

  61. 61.

    geg6

    Tweety will be wanking off in his bathroom while reading this. He thinks ol’ Fred is sexay. You know, because the smell of stale Aqua Velva and cigars is sooooooo hot.

  62. 62.

    rob!

    Maybe he can ask for applause at each of his book signings? It’ll be kind of like a Performance Art, Laurie Anderson-kind of thing, but more banal and a whiff of brimstone.

  63. 63.

    very reverend crimson fire of compassion

    @A Mom Anon: No good deed goes unpunished.
    The idea regarding area public schools is probably a good one, and an arena where your experience at least has a chance of being taken seriously.
    Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers, and if you’ve got (or can get) the paypal thing going, let us know. If enough of us can scrape together our pitifully inadequate resources, it might be enough to help out.
    Nil illegitimati carborundum.
    Don’t let the bastards wear you down.

  64. 64.

    Cat Lady

    @GregB:

    I’m just gobsmacked by the writer’s lack of self-awareness and her ability to be ahistorical all rolled into one crappy package of FAIL. Is it the failure of the editors? The lack of editors? I just don’t understand the mentality of anyone involved in the publication of that “article”. Jeebus please the MSM cannot die fast enough.

    And Fox is playing with fire again. Only the wingnuts like Farah will be able to pull the curtain back on the snake oil salesmen over there. I don’t care what his motives are.

  67. 67.

    Betsy

    @A Mom Anon:

    Oh! And: have you tried substitute teaching? I hear they’re pretty flexible about who they hire for that (at least in the district I grew up in in TX) and it might be a way to get you out there and earning even a little bit.

    (Huge apologies if these suggestions aren’t welcome and are only annoying since you’ve already been through all of them)

  68. 68.

    eemom

    I’m sick of assholes getting ahead and good people getting fucked over.

    This, times infinity.

    I’m sorry, fellow Mom.

  69. 69.

    asiangrrlMN

    I have insomnia, so I think I shall order…this…bo–oh, sorry. Nodded off just thinking about it.

    @A Mom Anon: I agree with you on the insanity of an asshat like this getting published. And, I am very sorry to hear about your troubled times. I am sending you a white light of support, and, if you do set up a PayPal link, please let me know.

  70. 70.

    Mike in NC

    “Fred Thompson to release memoir in May”

    Didn’t Mark Twain refer to the Book of Mormon as “chloroform in print”? But old Fred’s memoir: Pulitzer!

  75. 75.

    fezzik

    @ A Mom Anon

    Just a thought–I know a lot of school districts look for people to help with special ed kids–you certainly have the experience. Maybe that’s something you could look into. I wish you well.

  76. 76.

    Pasquinade

    @El Cid, speaking of driving trucks..

    Scott Brown rents Fred Thompson’s condo

    Senator Scott Brown has found a Washington, D.C. garage for his old pickup truck.

    The Boston Herald reports Brown will rent actor and former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson’s Washington condo as he looks for a more permanent home.

    The six-room condo is on Pennsylvania Avenue and has reportedly been assessed at more than $700,000.

    The building, which is called the Residences at Market Square, has an underground garage. It’s unclear if Brown will park his truck there.

    http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/politics/scott-brown-rents-fred-thompsons-condo

  78. 78.

    freelancer

    @Ben S.:

    “Back in my day, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say.”
    —Excerpt from the first chapter

    This is the funniest thing I’ve seen today. Well, this too.

    Sorry about the situation, A Mom. That sucks.

  79. 79.

    rootless_e

    The Progressives think politics is shopping: the Evan Bayh product sux, it’s a shit sandwich, take it back and offer me something better. Oh, you’re offering me Dan Coates?

  81. 81.

    cat48

    @Cat Lady:

    If you were gobsmacked by that article, you should read the one the same lady wrote, “Nuance on Race Invites Questions” where some black folks have mean things to say about him. These folks are reliable critics by the way and were not hard to find.

    TNC summed it up “Black People Have Opinions About Obama”.

  82. 82.

    kay

    @rootless_e:

    I really don’t think this is a case of progressives showing insufficient loyalty.

    The man dropped out.

    He was a leader with no followers. His “middle of the road” coalition idea relies on GOP support. He didn’t get any. The whole point of having a big tent is they’re supposed to be able to pass one or another compromise. The moderate Senators haven’t had any luck convincing Republicans of anything. I don’t know how Evan Bayh’s failure is the fault of liberals. It’s not like they’re opposing these bipartisan bills he brokered, and then passed, on ideological grounds. He didn’t get anything passed, liberal, moderate, conservative, nada. He keeps saying he represents some broad majority. He better tell Republicans, because they don’t agree with him.

  84. 84.

    rootless_e

    @kay: There is no doubt that Bayh sucked and was a disaster. What makes me unhappy is that we don’t have a real-democrat challenger in place. 99% of what “progressives” do is complain about the offering as if there is neither possibility or obligation to provide alternatives.

  85. 85.

    Cat Lady

    @cat48:

    “Nuance on Race Invites Questions Another Way For Me to Make Bullshit Criticisms I Pull Out Of My Ass Appear to Come From Other People’s Mouths”

    Fuck her.

  86. 86.

    Tax Analyst

    @Zifnab:

    Another (terrible paying but not completely catastrophically bad) place to work is H&R Block. Before I got my current job, I trained up as a tax prep and worked there. I actually kept the job through the following tax season for some extra scratch. Although – after getting paid minimum wage plus “bonuses” minus minimum wage = minimum wage – I dropped it again.

    It’s a good place to learn about taxes and also a good place to find out if you have the aptitude for understanding/doing taxes and if you find it at all interesting. I took there Basic Tax Course in 1992 and worked for them for 2 Tax Seasons. My second season I was an Office Supervisor but my commissions did not exceed my very paltry draw against it. I got a few hundred dollar “spiff” in Stock Options after the season. They asked me back for a third year, but I’d found a real job in the interim.

    Except for a some long-time preparer’s with established clientele in upper-middle class areas it’s not a good place to make very much money, especially as a beginner.

  87. 87.

    wrb

    @A Mom Anon:

    It is just brutal out there. Sympathies. I’m looking at losing 20 years of work, maybe $40m in value and moving under a bridge (literally, if I stay cheerful enough to find some boxes). due the being unable to get financing with a 1:20 LTV

  88. 88.

    A Mom Anon

    Thanks to all of you,gosh,I almost started bawling at the offers of money. We’re not in that bad of shape yet,I’d sell off stuff before I asked for money.

    The Husband put in 4 apps this afternoon and a headhunter called him with a possible interview in Madison,WI.(anyone wanna buy a house with a pool and fenced in yard in Metro Atlanta?lol) Fortunately,he does have an in demand skill set,so I guess that’s a plus. Seriously,thank all of you for your care and concern.

  91. 91.

    DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio

    Insomnia cure? I think we are looking at the real possibility of brain death on a mass scale when these memoirs get out there.

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