Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

The willow is too close to the house.

We still have time to mess this up!

Not all heroes wear capes.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

The words do not have to be perfect.

T R E 4 5 O N

Republicans do not pay their debts.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Let there be snark.

Republicans in disarray!

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

People are complicated. Love is not.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread: Could Be Worse…

Late Night Open Thread: Could Be Worse…

by | 111 Comments

This post is in: ,

At least you’re not required to attend this event:

According to my calendar, Friday — tomorrow — is the 19th, not the 20th. But then, I’m a member of the Reality-Based Community(tm).
__
Wonder how long it will take some of the Tea Party Crashing Establishment CPAC To Hang With ‘Fellow Conservatives’ Oldfolkken to wander into the Epic!-ness, tell some young punk to pull up his dam’ pants, and get a fist-fight started?
__
And when it happens, who do we bet on winning?

Reader Interactions

111Comments

  3. 3.

    JK

    Below the words “Late Night Open Thread” you should have written “Warning: This Photo May Induce Vomitting”

  4. 4.

    Norbrook

    You expect them to do little things like look at a calendar? With any luck, the guests will show up on the 20’th, while the audience shows up on Friday. Hilarity ensues…

  6. 6.

    madmommy

    That Super Bowl commercial is the closest Tim Tebow will ever get to the Super Bowl. He’s the next Gino Torretta.

    I don’t think O’Keefe is going to be allowed to cross state lines to attend this little soiree.

    Who the hell are those four pasty-faced wankers at top right? No, don’t tell me, I’d rather be ignorant.

  14. 14.

    mr. whipple

    I think they’re discussing O’keefe’s chastity belt for prison life.

    Nah. James is explaining to Hannah how the buttsex doesn’t really count.

  15. 15.

    joeyess

    If I did have to attend the event, I would make it a point to – how does Cole put it? Oh, yeah! – I would make it a point to seek out, find and then proceed to punch Crowder in the neck.

  19. 19.

    Jane Doll

    Who the hell are those four pasty-faced wankers at top right? No, don’t tell me, I’d rather be ignorant.

    They do bits on youtube called “auto tune the news.” They are actually quite funny, not really partisan, and certainly not wingnutty. I always thought they were slightly left of center if anything.

    I wonder how they will play it up for this crowd.

  20. 20.

    joeyess

    I just knew that fucking commercial that Tebow did was an opening salvo of a long and disgusting career in Winguttery Welfare.

    When you can’t take a snap under center, you sure ain’t gonna be an NFL quarterback.

  21. 21.

    rob!

    As a professional graphic designer/artist, I weep for the poor bastard who had to put that poster together: I’m sure they told themselves it was to pay the rent and feed the kids.

    Having to get up every morning, and find your inbox filled with graphics with names like “CoulerSmiling.jpg”, “OKeefeHot.jpg”, and “HumeRespectedAnchor.tif”…

    *shudder*

  23. 23.

    cmorenc

    Thankfully, the Winter Olympics are stealing much of the attention-oxygen from the political air over this week and next.

  26. 26.

    J.W. Hamner

    I’ll echo everyone else in that I’m pretty sure tomorrow isn’t Friday.

    Otherwise, made vegan Bánh Mì’s… from the baguettes on up… for Valentine’s Day and wanted to share.

    Also used a pressure cooker for the first time tonight and was fairly impressed.

  28. 28.

    JGabriel

    Maybe I shouldn’t go there. After all, one doesn’t want to hold it against them when the GOP finally shows a glimmer of open-mindedness, but did anyone else notice that of the 4 “Gregory Brothers” pictured in the upper left corner, the butchest one there is named Sarah?

    .

  30. 30.

    JGabriel

    Why isn’t anyone making a big deal, a stinkeroo as it were, about CPAC “recognizing and awarding” alleged felon James O’Keefe?

    You can bet your ass that Fox would be all over it if DKos, or any liberal PAC, were giving an award to alleged felon.

    .

  32. 32.

    Incertus

    @joeyess: No doubt. McNair had even more doubters because he went to Alcorn St., and yet he became a star. Tebow has less of a jump to make, in a way, and yet he’s probably going to end up well short.

  33. 33.

    Incertus

    @JGabriel:

    Why isn’t anyone making a big deal, a stinkeroo as it were, about CPAC “recognizing and awarding” alleged felon James O’Keefe?

    Because honoring felons, alleged or otherwise, is in their blood. See “the Nixon Administration” and the corollaries from Reagan, Bush I and Bush the Lesser for corroboration.

  34. 34.

    Jason Bylinowski

    @Joe: If the Gregory Brothers are Cons, I’d be really quite surprised. I have watched at least 5 of their songs and they are all obviously left-ish, though nothing blatant. Something tells me that there was some cheddar involved here. I know if I were invited to XPAC as a musician, I’d probably take their money too. Is that wrong? Of course, it would be money very poorly spent on their part, and therefore a plus for me and my party.

  35. 35.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @madmommy:

    I don’t think O’Keefe is going to be allowed to cross state lines to attend this little soiree.

    Didn’t a federal judge send him to his room?

  36. 36.

    JGabriel

    Incertus:

    Because honoring felons, alleged or otherwise, is in their blood.

    And we should be trumpeting that as loudly and frequently as possible!

    .

  38. 38.

    SIA

    I don’t know. I kind of hate it that I’m going to miss Evan Michael, Andrew & Sarah.

    (god I’m old. Who are all these twerps?)

  40. 40.

    SIA

    @JK: My right-wing mama LOVES Brit Hume. She considers him a serious journalist (prolly cause he’s always frowning, looking severe, and harumphing).

  44. 44.

    madmommy

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Yep, he was told to go to his room and stay there until trial. I’d have loved to be in the courtroom to hear that edict come down.

    This whole thing is just so pitiful. They’re trying so damn hard to be all “down with the kids” and it’s just coming off as sad. Sad and pathetic. And maybe just a little funny.

  45. 45.

    Midnight Marauder

    I just love how (Michael) Steele is at One Name Wonder status, right in the pantheon next to Madonna, Pelé, and…Crowder.

    Personally, I think they should have gone with his more popular moniker: Cow.

    +4

  46. 46.

    Mike in NC

    Winter Olympics are stealing much of the attention-oxygen from the political air over this week and next.

    Well this is the “Special Olympics – Right Wing Cretin” version sponsored by Faux Noise. Who’ll win the new teabagging triathalon? Limbaugh, Hannity, or Beck?

  49. 49.

    Mike in NC

    Sad sack old Bill Bennett will be introduced by a 14 year old. How pathetic is that?

    Less pathetic than if he tries to take him/her back to his hotel room for some “mentoring”.

  50. 50.

    darryl

    Oldfolkken to wander into the Epic!-ness, tell some young punk to pull up his dam’ pants, and get a fist-fight started?

    I was watching COPS years ago, and this one young black kid stole a few things from a department store, and gets chased in the parking lot, and was successfully run down by some thirty-something fat (like me) white cops, because….his huge-ass pants got caught on a fence he tried to jump.

    I try my best not to be racist, but I did have to giggle at that, and I hope my black friends forgive me for that. Being in their 30’s, and wearing pants appropriately, they prob’ly laughed too.

  51. 51.

    JK

    @SIA:
    My sympathies to you.

    @Incertus:
    Thanks, I knew there had to be a logical explanation.

    I thought Hume was too busy earning his doctorate in divinty studies to attend this bullshit conference.

  52. 52.

    Incertus

    @Mike in NC: My girlfriend just passed me this line, apparently from Bill Maher’s latest standup bit. “Sarah Palin is perfect as a Fox News commentator because she’s used to talking to retarded children.”

  54. 54.

    SIA

    @JK: Well, it gets worse. Her opinion of La Palin? “She’s a breath of fresh air”. Her favorite (only) democrat? Joe Lieberman.

  55. 55.

    Dmitry

    Both in different ways, I guess.

    Bennett seems exasperated that he has to do this shit at all.

    The kid thinks he’s all that.

    It’s always puzzled me about how they all have to pump themselves up — everyone is brilliant.

    I never hear that from Democrats.

  56. 56.

    JK

    @Incertus: @SIA:

    Sarah Palin is the greatest gift to comedians. She’s a living breathing pratfall. I still refuse to believe there are enough votes to get this criminally incompetent airhead elected President.

  60. 60.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Comrade Kevin: I don’t know. I’m watching hockey on the DVR, and then I’ll watch the main coverage. There’s no way I’m turning over to the mothership until I know I can fast forward through all the crap.

    Are there women? Or is it just men’s tonight. That’s worth watching, but not the same.

  63. 63.

    Jennifer

    Wonder how long it will take some of the Tea Party Crashing Establishment CPAC To Hang With ‘Fellow Conservatives’ Oldfolkken to wander into the Epic!-ness, tell some young punk to pull up his dam’ pants, and get a fist-fight started?

    And when it happens, who do we bet on winning?

    If it’s televised, we all win.

  64. 64.

    JK

    @Incertus:

    Anytime I watch Palin speak on tv, I come away feeling like I’ve lost 30 IQ points.

    John McCain should burn in hell for eternity for inflicting this montrosity on all of us. This fucking asshole knew damn well that Palin was more qualified to work a cash register at McDonald’s than she was to serve as Vice President.

  65. 65.

    S. cerevisiae

    Fuck the politicians, the Winter Olympics are such a welcome reprieve from all the DC tantrums.

    As for the poster, I am reminded of a line from Steve Martin: “and I believe the Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with guns”.

    S. cerevisiae +5 S. cerevisiae.

  66. 66.

    Jennifer

    @JK:

    Perhaps we should refer to Palin as “McCain’s Revenge”.

    He grudge-fucked all of us because he knew he was gonna lose.

  67. 67.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Incertus:

    @JK: What worries me is that there won’t be enough for her to get the nomination.

    I think we just need enough to get her a prime time slot at the Convention, a la Buchanan ’92. I’m pretty sure they’ll already have to do that.

  69. 69.

    S. cerevisiae

    I may be pretty buzzed, but did anyone else notice that Giles and O’keefes names are on each other? What’s with that?

  70. 70.

    Violet

    Flying Tomato is amazing. Epic. So far beyond the others. Loved the halfpipe. Tons of fun to watch.

    Short track speedskating is really fun. The relay is insanity.

  72. 72.

    Jennifer

    Here’s a fun game to play with people who think Palin is the Messiah. It’s a game I used to play with Bush supporters. It goes something like this:

    Me: “I only have one litmus test for candidates: are they at least as smart as me? Because I’m not in the habit of hiring people to do jobs that I could do better myself. And Sarah Palin is not as smart as I am. Do you think she’s smarter than you, and if not, why do you think it’s a good idea to hire someone to run the country who’s not as smart as you are?”

    Palin Supporter: “……”

    I’m telling you, this is a super fun game, because no one wants to admit being dumber than Sarah Palin, and no one can really answer the question about why it would be a good idea to have a total dumbass running the country.

  75. 75.

    JK

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I wish someone could bribe a few technicians working at the 2012 Republican National Convention so that they would delete Palin’s speech from the teleprompter right before she was scheduled to deliver it. I’d pay anything to see Palin throw the mother of all hissy fits when she realized that the text of her speech had vanished.

  76. 76.

    S. cerevisiae

    @Violet: Oh hell yeah. An order of magnitude beyond everyone else. And Lindsey Vonn is one hell of a skier – pulling off a gold medal run a half second better with shin pain so bad she was basically on one ski a lot of the time – amazing.

  77. 77.

    vk

    i’m sure this meme is played out but i’m watching the bad 80s movie cobra and everything marion cobrietti says seems like a right wing talking point. cobra hates the rules and liberal reporters crying about rights of demonized killers. dirty harry is the same way. if our mindset isn’t the same as the guys trying to kill us then we don’t have any chance of defeating them. a game played between two teams that aren’t playing by the same rules. blah, blah, blah. nothing new. but the 80s were the glory days for the reagan-ites and every one loves to look back on this as some sort of place we need to return to. why do conservatives want to run the country like a bad 80s movie? and even more importantly, why does obama invoke reagan as much as he does?

  78. 78.

    Violet

    @JK:
    Better yet, serve up the wrong speech. The beginning could be the right speech, just to get her going, and then mix it up with someone else’s speech. She’d be going on about how important the stimulus money is to the working folks and small businesses, how we need to protect the environment and so forth. I bet she’d never even notice. Fun!

  79. 79.

    Violet

    @S. cerevisiae:
    Yeah, she was amazing. When they cut to the slo-mo, you could really see she was skiing on one leg a lot of the time. At those speeds and in those conditions? Wow. She’s crazy. She wanted that gold medal something fierce. Good for her! A real monkey off her back. Lots of expectations for her coming into the games.

    Man, I love Shaun White. He’s just so much fun to watch. Seems like a pretty down to earth guy, despite being a global superstar and his own business. Did you see the story of his mom sending his medal out to be dry cleaned because the ribbon was dirty? Hilarious.

  80. 80.

    wmsheppa

    Anyone else on the east coast staying up late to watch the Czecks and the Slovaks play? Nothing quite like two countries that loathe each other…

  82. 82.

    S. cerevisiae

    @wmsheppa: Thanks for the heads up – I wasn’t aware of that one and found it on the TV.

    I better stop drinking soon, I have to work tomorrow.

  83. 83.

    Richard

    I don’t think the Gregory Brothers are doing this to support the cause… I’d be very surprised if they were Cons. Also, I listened to some of their album, Meet the Gregory Brothers on iTunes. They’re kinda folksy, or something.

    Maybe they think Auto Tune the News is satire a la Colbert?

  85. 85.

    wmsheppa

    @S. cerevisiae: No problem. Damn good game so far… two skilled sets of forwards with a nasty edge on defense. Plus they just flat out don’t like each other.

    Stopped drinking already, but still have to be at work tomorrow morning… I see a lot of caffeine in my future, because this game is too good to sleep through.

  86. 86.

    FlipYrWhig

    @vk:

    dirty harry is the same way.

    Ever seen the _Death Wish_ movies? Good God are those extreme right-wing wankfests. Charles Bronson faces down some rather implausible street gangs, who seem to be some mix of punks, glam rockers, breakdancers, and the Blu Blockers guy, and they’re all bent on mugging and rape. And two of them are played by… Jeff Goldblum and Laurence Fishburne. (That might be in two different movies, but, seriously, how scary is a gang that would have Jeff Goldblum as a member?) Completely bizarre pileup of ’70s/’80s hysterias.

  87. 87.

    Socraticsilence

    I don’t know I like to think of this as a continuation of Tebow’s usual pre-Season non-missionary activitites- you know going to Death Row to preach the value of compassion to people who’ve had problems showing it- the question is are CPAC attendee’s less open to the idea of caring for the poor and the weak than hardened criminals- the answer: almost definitely.

  88. 88.

    S. cerevisiae

    Heh – they were just talking about Satan being out for Slovakia – I always wished there would have been an NHL goalie named Jesus playing against him in the Stanley Cup. The headlines would write themselves.

  89. 89.

    wmsheppa

    @Socraticsilence: Even better idea: get Tebow to do an event on chastity outside of marriage for the C Street house… which is more likely, CPAC attendees being compassionate or C Street keeping it in their pants because Tebow told them to?

  90. 90.

    wmsheppa

    Not sure which is stranger to me, seeing Ziggy Palffy and Jaromir Jagr on the ice again, or realizing that Steve Yzerman, Peter Bondra, and Uwe Krupp are all either GMs or coaches of Olympic teams this year.

  91. 91.

    de stijl

    As the fourth most famous Baldwin, Stephen is pleased as punch to co-host with the fifth most famous of The Kids In The Hall. He’s one up in the most famousness race.

    the guy who’s sole claim to fame was that he wrote the most ill-informed criticism of sex in video games ever.

    Okay, maybe this McCullough guy isn’t a Kid In The Hall, but that is one interesting take on Mass Effect. Astoundingly wrong, but certainly interesting.

    From what I remember of Mass Effect, I had to seek out out and commit to pointless conversations for hours on fucking end with uninteresting characters to be “rewarded” with 2 seconds of side-butt in the so-called sex scene.

    If you’ve never played Mass Effect let me try to relate how incredibly, laughably wrong McCullough is: It’s like watching Godfather 1 and 2 (3 is not part of the canon) and then asserting that the movies are rank with incestuous sodomy because Michael kisses Fredo.

  94. 94.

    RandyH

    OMG! Acorn must have hacked their site and changed the date to the 20th. It’s like telling the rubes to vote on Wednesday. Classic!

  96. 96.

    slightly_peeved

    Short track speedskating is really fun.

    I love a sport where hanging around at the back and waiting for the other guys to knock each other over is a winning strategy. Best gold medal ever.

    And I’d like some of those Republicans who think Europeans are all wimpy pacifists to try a biathlon sometime.

  98. 98.

    de stijl

    Just caught the replay of the Lindsey Vonn post victory interview – she got so Minnesotan it was adorable. As a little’un she used to ski at shitty little Buck Hill. That’s pretty cool.

  99. 99.

    slightly_peeved

    @yutsano: Good to hear.

    He did a good job getting silver in 2002, baseball-sliding through the finish rather than trying to get up and skate after the crash.

  102. 102.

    BruceFromOhio

    And when it happens, who do we bet on winning?

    At first glance, I thought it said ‘who do we bet on WHINING?’ and it was obvious: everybody involved!

    But that’s not what it says.

  104. 104.

    jibeaux

    It would have been better to have the NewsBusted guys on than Auto-tune the news. I mean, better for us. Emphatically not better for them.

  105. 105.

    Comrade Darkness

    Are Okeefe and his self-described prostitute girlfriend going perform sex acts while wearing gitmo jumpsuits? Cuz I’d buy a ticket to see that.

  107. 107.

    carlos the dwarf

    @Richard:
    @uila:
    I think they either want to be Colbertesque trolls, or they’re just there to get paid while they gather great material for “autotune the cpac”. Youtube videos don’t pay the bills, after all.

  108. 108.

    RSA

    Recognizing and Awarding James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles

    I want to know whom Hannah Giles is awarded to.

  110. 110.

    Socraticsilence

    So, can everyone just pray that James O’Keefe is jumping bail to attend- because its almost impossible for me to think of something funnier than that douche being tackled by a Bounty Hunter while accepting an award at CPAC.

Comments are closed.