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You are here: Home / Music / Hair Metal At Eleven

Hair Metal At Eleven

by Tim F|  February 25, 201011:00 pm| 27 Comments

This post is in: Music

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Every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

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27Comments

  1. 1.

    tyrese

    February 25, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Brett Michaels wrote this song in a laundromat after he found out his stripper girlfriend had been cheating on him.

    When I heard that story, I knew god was in his heaven, and all was right with the world.

  2. 2.

    Morbo

    February 25, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Hey, it’s Olympics time. You think this is unrelated to your post? It is not. Swedish Power Metal bands love curling. Well, at least one.

    Oh, but they suck at it.

  3. 3.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    February 25, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    This song is not metal. This song isn’t even hair metal. This song is 100% high fructose corn syrup and a deadly hazard to anyone diabetics in the vicinity. A pox on you for digging it out of the back-vaults of the internons.

  4. 4.

    Moonbatting Average

    February 25, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    Poison? Whatever… Poison, on the other hand? Awesome.

  5. 5.

    mr. whipple

    February 25, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    Bah. Last night I go to bed early, and John posts Zappa. Tonight I’m up and get…….this.

    God hates me.

  6. 6.

    Morbo

    February 25, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: Quite right, the “metal” part of hair metal is and always has been an unfortunate misnomer.

  7. 7.

    Yutsano

    February 25, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    Anyone else having bizarre WP issues tonight? Or is the FSM displeased with me as well?

  8. 8.

    JGabriel

    February 25, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    Poison? Good lord, what next?

    Barry Manilow? Air Supply? Celine Dion?

    Sigh.

    .

  9. 9.

    JGabriel

    February 25, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Here’s some old Outkast to flush the Poison from everyone’s system.

    Hard to believe that was released before invading Iraq, or even 9/11.

    .

  10. 10.

    New Yorker

    February 25, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    @JGabriel:

    Appreciated, but everyone knows the only real Poison antitode is “Beavis and Butt-head”:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suyPtIwHohI

  11. 11.

    Will

    February 25, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    This song is the ultimate karaoke fallback. Anyone can sing it, and everyone loves it.

  12. 12.

    PeakVT

    February 25, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    The BBC just had someone from American Thinker on to talk about the health care shindig. WTF?

  13. 13.

    JGabriel

    February 25, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Will:

    … everyone loves it.

    I, for one, most assuredly do not.

    .

  14. 14.

    Will

    February 25, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    @PeakVT:

    that’s a goddamn crime.

  15. 15.

    Will

    February 25, 2010 at 11:40 pm

    @JGabriel: @JGabriel:

    Were you in junior high when this song came out and danced to it with a girl at the school mixer? If no on all counts, then I understand. But that was me and many others.

  16. 16.

    The Dangerman

    February 25, 2010 at 11:40 pm

    I wonder what Winger is doing these days.

  17. 17.

    Yutsano

    February 25, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    @Will: Ha. The number of karaoke crash and burns I have seen on this song alone I could write a volume about. It’s not hard to do at all (and I freely confess I’m a karaoke ringer) but even then it can be sung very very badly.

  18. 18.

    Comrade Kevin

    February 25, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    @Will: I hate this song. Hate hate hate hate hate this song. Hate it. Hate every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hate the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hate the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

  19. 19.

    robertdsc

    February 25, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    @Will:
    This.

  20. 20.

    JGabriel

    February 26, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Will:

    Were you in junior high when this song came out…

    In ’88? No I was 23, and into The Replacements, Sonic Youth, Husker Du, Prince, Jane Siberry, Rickie Lee Jones, New Order, REM, Let’s Active, NWA, The Geto Boys, The Pixies, etc.

    But when I was in junior high, the big slow dance songs were Freebird, Stairway to Heaven, and Come Sail Away.

    And I hated every one of those fucking songs too, still do. So I’m guessing I’d feel the same way about Poison even if I’d been in junior high at the time.

    Anyway, I’m just a long time pseudo-hipster douchebag asshole, gone slightly overweight and slightly bald – like Prufrock. Nothing personal.

    .

  21. 21.

    MikeJ

    February 26, 2010 at 12:20 am

    @JGabriel: Let’s Active? Damn, the puppy video would play really well here, no?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU_bJKRSf_A

  22. 22.

    JGabriel

    February 26, 2010 at 12:30 am

    @MikeJ: Wow. Great song, but that video is terrible – although strangely likable. It must be the puppy. And the totally amateur quality. And the cliched 80’s clothes and hairdos. Surprisingly good sound, though.

    Or maybe that’s not so surprising, given Mitch Easter’s production chops.

    .

  23. 23.

    WaterGirl

    February 26, 2010 at 12:47 am

    @Yutsano: Yes! Tons of weird stuff tonight. So it’s not just you.

  24. 24.

    Anne Laurie

    February 26, 2010 at 1:22 am

    @Yutsano: FYWP locked me out earlier today, and even after that I had to log back in — twice. Perhaps there was an “upgrade”, or maybe it just hates us for making it work harder.

  25. 25.

    JGabriel

    February 26, 2010 at 8:35 am

    I prefer to think that it hates us for being beautiful.

    .

  26. 26.

    Rook

    February 26, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Seriously Tim, this was totally not called for. Someone could get hurt. </snark>

  27. 27.

    Bill Hicks

    February 26, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Sweet, I get to use some of the useless trivia that makes up most of what I teach.

    Botanically speaking, roses do not have thorns. Thorns are modified stems. Spines, like on cacti, are modified leaves. So what do roses have? Prickles. Prickles are epidermal extensions (the equivalent of a sharp bump growing out of your skin). One of my favorite times each year is the groan I get out of my students when I serenade them with, “every rose has its prickle”.

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