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You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Olympic Hockey

Olympic Hockey

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Not sure if you are watching, but the US Hockey team just scored 6 goals in the first period of the match versus Finland. And while the Fins may feel a little shellshocked, at least they don’t have to contend with this:

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi is well known for his bizarre exploits, from demanding Bedouin-style housing in Central Park to verbally carpet-bombing the UN General Assembly. Now he’s shifted his focus from New York to a new target: Switzerland. Salah Sarrar of Reuters reports that Gaddafi, while unleashing on the November Swiss minaret ban (which the Atlantic Wire covered here and here), called for jihad against permanently-neutral Switzerland.

Is that in the rules? Are you allowed to declare jihad on neutral countries? Or will honor and manners dictate that another old European country stand in for the Swiss? Someone with a more warmongering past. What say, Germany. Hasn’t it been a few decades since they had an excellent military adventure?

Reader Interactions

60Comments

  1. 1.

    MikeJ

    Nobody has a more warmongering past than the swiss. They were the baddest of the badasses. Why do you think the guy with the funny hat in Rome has the Swiss guard him?

  2. 2.

    Svensker

    Muammar got p.o.’d about that mosque ban. Can’t say’s I blame him, but it’s hard to be sympathetic with Muammar about anything.

  4. 4.

    dr. bloor

    Once Muammar is invited to avail himself of the excellent services the Swiss provide in the area of laundering money and hiding assets finanical management, it will be yet another case of Jihad On! Jihad Off!

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    Invading Switzerland is a pretty bad idea. Lots of mountains, lots of people who are trained military reservists. They can probably take care of themselves.

    -dms

  6. 6.

    Bruce (formerly Steve S.)

    Is that in the rules?

    Not sure why you’re asking us. Are there a lot of Muslim jihadists in your readership?

  7. 7.

    Yutsano

    @dmsilev: Yeah like the whole population of adult males (it’s required) plus a looong military tradition (the Swiss were the mercenaries of Europe all throughout the Middle Ages) so uhh yeah good luck with that one Muammar. But I think he needs to say something really nutzoid every now and again or else his population wonders if he’s dead.

  9. 9.

    Timmy B

    Is a country really “neutral” when it bans minarets?

    Yeah, sure we can make fun of Muammar Gaddafi all day long, but even a stopped watch is right twice a day. Frankly, I think Switzerland started this “war.”

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    Is that in the rules? Are you allowed to declare jihad on neutral countries?

    That minaret ban didn’t seem too neutral to me. Switzerland’s going to have to learn you reap what you sow, and from where I’m standing it looks like they’re reaping a metric ton of crazy.

  11. 11.

    soonergrunt

    What MikeJ @1 said. They went neutral not because they were losing or anything like that. They neutral because it was better for business.
    Besides, given the quality of the Swiss military, and the fact that most of the 200,000+ swiss reservists keep their weapons at home, I wouldn’t want to fight there. Besides, it’s gonna suck this time of year for persons from more eqatorial climes.

  12. 12.

    Brick Oven Bill

    There is no neutrality in Islam.

    There is Dar al-Islam (land of peace) and Dar al-Harb (land of war). As Switzerland is not governed by the Qur’an, it is by definition a warland.

  13. 13.

    demo woman

    Assuming that the USA holds on, Finland plays for the bronze medal tomorrow and it’s going to be difficult for them to regroup.

  20. 20.

    Ed

    It’s war between the Swiss and me!

    Got to give it up for the Finns though. There’s what? Like 5 million of them? And they dominate (or are at least extremely competitive in) rally racing, formula one AND ice hockey. That’s like if the Atlanta metro area dominated NASCAR, Indy racing and… well, ice hockey.

  21. 21.

    slag

    Are you allowed to declare jihad on neutral countries?

    In Gaddafi’s defense, the Swiss did fire the first shot. So, at least we’re not talking pre-emptive jihad here.

  22. 22.

    Andy K

    I’ll stay clear of the neutrality question, but I’ll ask this: Would it be unobjectionable to declare a crusasde against Saudi Arabia because they won’t allow Catholic cathedrals to be built in Riyadh?

  25. 25.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    Is that in the rules? Are you allowed to declare jihad on neutral countries? Or will honor and manners dictate that another old European country stand in for the Swiss? Someone with a more warmongering past. What say, Germany. Hasn’t it been a few decades since they had an excellent military adventure?

    It’s been a while since this old chestnut came up, but it seems relevant here…

    9/11 changed everything.

  26. 26.

    geg6

    I wouldn’t fuck with the Swiss. Every single person in that country has military training. And it has a huge number of guns. Nope, I wouldn’t fuck with the Swiss.

  27. 27.

    zzyzx

    OK help me decide. Should I watch the gold medal game at home now that NBC is carrying it live or should I drive to Vancouver and watch it in the crowd that might be insane?

  29. 29.

    slag

    @Andy K: This raises an interesting question. Who has the authority to declare crusade? Or for that matter, does Gaddafi even have the authority to declare jihad? And does anyone else have to approve the funding?

  30. 30.

    Andy K

    @zzyzx:

    I’d say it depends on your ability to take a B.C. Two-Hander. If you can handle the bruising, go. If you’re a hemophiliac, stay home.

  31. 31.

    Andy K

    @slag:

    I don’t know about the rest of Christendom, but in the Roman Catholic church that authority rests solely with the Pope.

  34. 34.

    PTirebiter

    @Yutsano: It just seems like we’re playing with one hand tied behind our backs. They started it and we should let international committees put our players at risk.

  38. 38.

    fourmorewars

    Just listened to a segment of ‘The World’ on radio on this subject. The whole fucking thing’s about Libya and does this help them unmake their image as a pariah nation. Nothing on the Swiss, that is they mention the minaret ban but go into exactly zero analysis of how Switzerland might share the blame, let alone be the provocateur. How do they get off not being put in pariah status themselves, acting like the worst racist crusader-era nation, and btw I guess the whole shameful WWII Jewish-exclusion and -larceny never happened in these asshole analysts’ eyes either.

    This and the Newsweek thing, every goddamn behavior is allowed as long as you’re not ‘the other.’

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    @zzyzx: OMG I had to laugh at one of your pictures! I have an old friend who’s a Mountie and he used to do the whole taking the pictures with the tourists thing and HATED it. Not the people as much as the constant standing around smiling and looking pretty (he fit the role well, he’s a very dashing looking man) and not doing what he put himself through six months of hell to do. Then he got shipped off to Yellowknife and I lost touch with him.

  42. 42.

    Breezeblock

    Jeez, I’m on my 3rd Bloody Mary, but no real reason to watch. How embarrasing… if you are FINNISH!

    Go Slovakia!

  43. 43.

    slag

    @Andy K: Then I’m surprised the Pope didn’t get more pissed off with Bush after his crusade declaration. You’d think that would have been a big no-no, usurping the Pope’s crusade-mongering authority like that.

    @Fern:

    My understanding is that a jihad would need to be declared by a senior cleric of some sort.

    Same here. I suspect a jihad-block is imminent on this one.

  44. 44.

    Mike in NC

    This is a bit of bullshit in a long-running Gaddafi feud with Switzerland.

    If the Swiss just send Gaddafi a case of gold-plated Rolexes, he’ll STFU real fast.

  45. 45.

    Redshirt

    This might be a case of jihad dysfunction. If your jihad is announced but doesn’t take in 4 hours, call your nearest Senior Cleric immediately.

  46. 46.

    Yutsano

    @slag: Apparently neither of you have heard of the Little Green Book. Gaddafi IS a religious authority in at least Libya by his own reckoning. There really is a massive cult of personality surrounding the man, we just tend to ignore it because he figured out the edge of crazy he could get to before he could piss off the world then walked it back. That and his country likes the other green as well.

  49. 49.

    Sentient Puddle

    @zzyzx (and other Facebook users): You can actually link any photo on Facebook by right-clicking, Copy Link Location, and using that link.

    As for why I’m directing this at everyone else as well, this is something that bypasses all privacy settings. Or put another way, a pretty damn big security hole.

  51. 51.

    Tax Analyst

    Hey, I thought this thread was about Olympic Hockey, not Miss Manners “Rules For A Proper Jihad”

  52. 52.

    Emo Pantload (fka Studly)

    Why is Hockey Canada having to issue an apology for the Canadian women’s team celebrating their gold medal by boozin’ and smoking cigars on the ice? Now, if they were doing that toward the end of the third period, an apology for that I could understand…

  53. 53.

    RedKitten

    @Emo Pantload (fka Studly):

    Because:

    1. The AP reporter made a big stink about it. (Sour grapes, perchance?)
    2. Because it’s not ladylike. I’m not usually one to yell “sexism!”, but I’d bet you dollars to Tim Horton’s donuts that if the men’s team had been caught doing this that it would have elicited nothing but shrugs.
    3. Because the IOC and the COC are a bunch of pussies.

  54. 54.

    Tax Analyst

    @RedKitten:

    Also because they were not Americans. Americans are allowed to strut and celebrate any victory, and even some defeats, sometimes.

    Hell, we’re lucky they don’t stop the games for a Star-Spangled Celebration whenever the U.S. team scores a goal. NBC would be down with that.

    And how many heart-warming vignettes have you ever seen for 6th-place Olympic finishers who were not Americans?

  55. 55.

    bogart

    So let me get this straight; Gaddafi is taking his cues from a Futurama character?

    Those dirty neutrals!

  56. 56.

    Awktalk

    I wouldn’t say he just now “shifted his focus”. Back in September he called to abolish my former home:

    Then came Gaddafi’s suggestion that Switzerland be carved up like a wheel of Swiss cheese. During the G-8 summit in Italy in July, Gaddafi said Switzerland “is a world mafia and not a state,” adding that the Italian-speaking part of the country should be returned to Italy, the German-speaking part to Germany and the French-speaking part to France.

  57. 57.

    Awktalk

    For all of you hating on the minaret ban, I agree, it was an egregious and ugly thing to do. But that said, Switzerland is a representative democracy. If anybody gets enough signatures on a petition, the State is required to put it up for a vote. In this case, the xenophobic right-wing SVP was able to gather enough signatures, and the other parties thought it was so crazy it would never pass. And then it was too late for them to get their narrative out and the xenophobes won. Also note that existing minarets are not torn down. Building new mosques is not banned. It is just building new minarets. Again, not defending it at all, but it isn’t like the legislature just wrote the law. The xenophobes exploit a lot of anxiety towards immigrants in Switzerland ever since a population of 7 million absorbed 200k Yugoslav refugees during Milsovic’s reign of terror.

  58. 58.

    Svejk

    I think there are three drawbacks to attacking Switzerland:
    1. Entire country is a fortress
    2. Entire male population either in army or army reserve
    3. They already have your money.

    Also, last I heard about Swiss defense planning, they were setting up to hold off an invasion from the Soviet Union. Before that, I think it was the Wehrmacht. Best of luck to you, Libya. Plus, as mentioned, folks from areas nearer to the equator might want to invade only during the warmer months.

  60. 60.

    kormgar

    I just can’t bring myself to care about a country whose economy is based on secret banking. A nation that provides an untouchable financial haven for oligarchs, despots, and criminals deserves neither sympathy nor respect.

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